00:00You are not broken, but your brain is wired right now to crave the man most likely to hurt you.
00:06Every time he disappears, then he appears at 12am to say,
00:11Hey, your nervous system lights up like a slot machine.
00:15Dysamine, adrenaline, anxiety is the same as gambling or drugs.
00:21But the man who texts you, good morning, the one who shows up,
00:26respect your boundaries and doesn't play games.
00:29Your brain whispers, it's nice, but I'm not just feeling it.
00:34This is not about two peaks.
00:35This is about trauma, chemistry, and the stories you were told about love.
00:42These stories are quietly destroying your ability to experience the real thing.
00:48When we say someone gives us butterflies,
00:51we are often describing a cocktail of dopamine, cortisol, and noreferifal.
00:56That's not love.
00:58That's a stress response.
01:00And guess what triggers its strongest?
01:03Inconsistency.
01:04Mixed signals.
01:06Hot and cold behavior.
01:08Your brain mistakes uncertainty for passion.
01:12The more unavailable it is, the more your system lights up.
01:17The safer it, the calmer.
01:18Your nervous system labels him as boring.
01:22Not because he is boring, but because your body doesn't recognize peace as love.
01:29Let's discuss the attachment wound.
01:31This runs deep around love that felt inconsistent, sometimes safe, sometimes not.
01:39Your body learned love is equal to anxiety.
01:43So now, when someone kills you anxiety, your inner child will say,
01:49this feels like home.
01:51But when someone offers consistency, your body panics and you lose attraction.
01:58Not because they were wrong, but because they don't feel familiar.
02:02Cultural programming, Hollywood, Disney, romance novels,
02:06They are all sold to host consistency, where love is chaos.
02:12But true love teaches us that love is calm, especially in the culture where the lowest divorce rates is prevalent.
02:21They teach us love is calm, predictable, and gentle.
02:25Not boring, but secure.
02:28Real love feels like peace, not like war.
02:31Once you stop mistaking intensity for intimacy, everything changes.
02:37Let's get real.
02:38Think back to your last relationship.
02:41Did you feel most alive during the peaceful moment or the argument?
02:45Were you most attracted when he leaned in or when he pulled away?
02:50Did you feel loved or did you feel high?
02:54Be honest.
02:54You weren't addicted to him.
02:56You were addicted to the uncertainty.
02:59That wasn't chemistry.
03:00That was a survival response.
03:04Comments.
03:04I see it now.
03:05This resonates with you.
03:08Because awareness is the first step out of this cycle.
03:13Let's discuss the three steps to change this cycle.
03:18One, you can't attract, save love until your body stops confusing anxiety with excitement.
03:25If your heart raises around someone who is hot and cold, that's not your soulmate.
03:31That's your nervous system in the survival mode.
03:35You have spent so long in emotional chaos that peace feels unnatural.
03:40It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
03:43Don't let every text hijack your emotion.
03:46You are not healing just to be someone's partner.
03:50You are healing to stop mistaking pain for passion.
03:53And finally, recognize peace as love.
03:57Stop judging men by how much they make your heart race.
04:00Start judging them by how they treat you, even when it doesn't benefit them.
04:05Ask yourself, does he take responsibility?
04:09Does he make you feel safe or small?
04:12Does he respect your know, your silence, and your time?
04:16Stop chasing butterflies.
04:18Start looking for solid ground.
04:20Butterflies can be trauma.
04:22Peace can be passion.
04:24Three, heal the relationship with you.
04:27You are the only one constant.
04:29In every relationship you have had, until you do the hina walk, you will keep choosing people who mirror your wounds.
04:36So, give yourself the love that you keep chasing.
04:40Set boundaries, even when it terrifies you.
04:44Choose yourself in places you once begged to be chosen.
04:49The love you give to yourself sets the tone for the love you allow from others.
04:54If you are done loving men who don't love you back, comment below.
04:58I choose differently.
05:00Say it loud now.
05:01Type it below.
05:03And if this message makes you think of someone, send it to her.
05:07Don't let her think that she's broken.
05:10Show her that she's just following a pattern.
05:13The woman who begged for breadcrumbs.
05:15And the woman who demands full feasts.
05:18Same woman, different self-worth.
05:21You don't need to become someone else to find real love.
05:25You need to stop accepting love that isn't real.
05:30Start today.
05:31Make that decision.
05:33And don't look back.
05:34See you in the next video.
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