Nobody warns you that love can trigger your deepest wounds. This isn’t your fault—it’s your nervous system protecting you. Watch this to learn how to move past fear and into connection.
Follow for more weekly videos on emotional healing and self-growth.
00:00Nobody warns you about this part of love. The closer you get to someone, the more triggered you're going to feel.
00:05And here's why.
00:07Intimacy threatens your survival brain.
00:11When you start getting close to someone, the parts of you that were hurt before start scanning for danger.
00:16Not because your partner is unsafe, but because your nervous system is wired to remember pain.
00:21The fight with your ex, the silence from your parents, the betrayal you never saw coming.
00:27Your body doesn't forget, the body keeps the score.
00:31And it houses that score inside of your nervous system.
00:35This is why complicated conversations aren't usually heard with your ears, they're heard with your triggers.
00:40They're not processed with logic, they're processed through wounds and fear.
00:45So when closeness appears, your brain whispers, what if they leave?
00:50What if I'm not enough? What if I'm too much?
00:53What if I give my all and it happens again?
00:57I still hear that voice sometimes.
00:59And if I don't catch it, I'll retreat into survival, calling it boundaries and sabotaging something that was never unsafe.
01:05Just unfamiliar.
01:07Because let's be honest, every time in your life that you disconnected from someone and fell apart, it was because you didn't feel safe being vulnerable.
01:15Ex-lovers, ex-spouses, old friends, even some of your family.
01:20You opened up and you got shame or judgment in return and that disconnect, that became the wound.
01:27Now that wound is stored in your body and it scans your environment in the present, trying to protect you from repeating the past.
01:33That's the body keeping the score.
01:36But before we go further, let's name what trauma actually is.
01:40Trauma is not the event.
01:42It's the story you told yourself about yourself afterwards.
01:45It wasn't just about what they said.
01:47It wasn't just about what they did.
01:49It was the belief that settled in your nervous system after the pain hit.
01:53I'm not safe.
01:54I'm not enough.
01:55I'm too much.
01:55I should have fought back harder.
01:56Everyone leaves.
01:59No one will ever understand me.
02:01That's the trauma.
02:03And when you get close to someone, those old trauma stories get exposed.
02:07The threat feels real again and your body goes into defense mode.
02:10You retreat.
02:11You lash out.
02:12You numb.
02:13You sabotage.
02:15You survived.
02:17But you don't thrive.
02:19This video isn't about blaming your past.
02:21It's about trying to help you see your trauma for what it is.
02:23So you can stop being stuck in survival and start transcending the wound.
Be the first to comment