- hace 7 semanas
The Tequila Mockingbird (a statue rather like the Maltese Falcon) has been recovered by Esmerelda, a CONTROL operative posing as a cantina showgirl in a sleepy Mexican town called Mira Loma. KAOS kills Esmerelda during her performance but she has hidden the statue beforehand. Max (undercover as a down-and-out doctor) and 99 (undercover as a Spanish singer, who performs "Cielito Lindo" as part of her act) have to figure out the clue that was left behind to find where the statue is hidden, leading to a mexican standoff between Max and two rival KAOS agents.
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00:00The End
00:30The End
01:00The End
01:30The End
01:59That's the Tequila Mockingbird, 99.
02:11According to legend, that object is worth a fortune in diamonds, rubies, and pearls.
02:17So this is the little devil that cost Conrad Pomerdor his life.
02:21The millionaire art collector? Did he own the Tequila Mockingbird?
02:24Several times. When he was 30, he bought it from a Hindu sailor in the city of Tequila, Mexico.
02:29Then 10 years later, it was stolen by a Chinese accountant.
02:32At the age of 52, Permetta was able to buy it back at an auction in Beirut.
02:36Then 10 years later, it mysteriously disappeared again.
02:39He spent the next 50 years searching for it.
02:41You said the Mockingbird cost him his life, Max. How did he die?
02:45Old age.
02:45You mean you had me come all the way down here and you haven't got it?
03:00I had it yesterday, I had it this morning, but now I don't got it.
03:04Chaos has authorized me to pay you $500,000 upon delivery.
03:08$500,000?
03:11You agreed to that amount, Valdez. If you're trying to hold out for more, I warn you...
03:14No, no, no, no, I assure you, Senor Dietrich, the price is right.
03:20Chihuahua.
03:21That's more than I make all year.
03:23Then give me the Tequila Mockingbird.
03:26I told you I don't got it, but I'm going to get it back.
03:31Who does have it?
03:32I don't know.
03:32When I got in possession of the Mockingbird, I knew I must hide it in a safe place.
03:38So that's when I put it under my pillow.
03:40You kept it under your pillow?
03:42Si.
03:42I was going to put it under my bed, but I sleep on the floor.
03:46When I awoke from my siesta, the Mockingbird was gone.
03:57What are you doing, Valdez?
03:59I'm beating on the table.
04:00I know that. It's the way you're doing it.
04:02I'm just keeping time with the Castanets.
04:08Wait a minute.
04:13He's sending a message with those Castanets.
04:16You know who she works for?
04:18Western Union?
04:19She's a control agent.
04:21She's telling them that she has the Mockingbird.
04:24Call over to the table.
04:25Oh, later, Senor. I don't want to disappoint the customers.
04:30We must prevent her from telling Control where it is.
04:35Ah.
04:36But if she tells Control where it is hidden, then we will know where it is hidden.
04:41And Control will have every one of the agents swarming all over the place.
04:45No, I take my chance of finding it myself without her help.
04:48Kill her.
04:49Now?
04:50Now.
04:50But she's coming through the best part of Iraq.
04:59Do it.
05:00See?
05:01Well, that's fantastic, Chief.
05:12Castanets is a receiving device.
05:14That's right, Max.
05:15At this very moment, down in Miraloma, Mexico,
05:18one of our control agents is sending us a message in Morse code on her Castanets.
05:22You getting everything, Laramie?
05:24Wait a minute, Chief.
05:25There's something wrong.
05:25What is it?
05:33The Castanets have gone dead, sir.
05:35Well, how much of the message did you get before she stopped sending?
05:38Chaos is on to me.
05:39Man named Dietrich and Miraloma Chief of Police Valdez know who I am.
05:44Mockingbird is hidden in the...
05:46That's all I got.
05:48You must have stopped her before she could tell us where the Mockingbird's hidden.
05:52Poor girl.
05:53She was an excellent agent.
05:54Now, wait a minute, Chief.
05:55Don't jump to conclusions.
05:56It may not be what it looks like.
05:58After all, the girl may have caught her finger in one of the Castanets.
06:01I've seen it happen before.
06:02Not this girl, Max.
06:03She's an expert.
06:04Oh, really?
06:05So was Chico Mendoza.
06:07Mendoza?
06:08Was he with control?
06:09No, with Trini Lopez.
06:10No, with Trini Lopez.
06:11No, with Trini Lopez.
06:12No, with Trini Lopez.
06:13No, with Trini Lopez.
06:13No, with Trini Lopez.
06:14No, with Trini Lopez.
06:15No, with Trini Lopez.
06:16No, with Trini Lopez.
06:17No, with Trini Lopez.
06:18No, with Trini Lopez.
06:19No, with Trini Lopez.
06:20No, with Trini Lopez.
06:21No, with Trini Lopez.
06:22No, with Trini Lopez.
06:23No, with Trini Lopez.
06:24No, with Trini Lopez.
06:25No, with Trini Lopez.
06:26No, with Trini Lopez.
06:27No, with Trini Lopez.
06:28No, with Trini Lopez.
06:29No, with Trini Lopez.
06:30No, with Trini Lopez.
07:31You're going to go away for the weekend.
07:32Well, you are going away to Mira Loma, Mexico.
07:34Any more messages from down there, Chief?
07:36No, but we must assume the worst.
07:39Max, we've got to do everything we can to keep that tequila mockingbird out of the hands of chaos at any price.
07:44We've booked 99 into the cantina.
07:46She's replacing Esperanza.
07:47Chief, this plane ticket says Rosita Delgado.
07:50Is that my cover?
07:51No, that's 99's cover.
07:52Your going is Dr. Earl J. Liebecker.
07:55Oh.
07:55Well, where's my plane ticket, Chief?
07:57Max, Dr. Liebecker is discredited, down and out.
08:00You'll have to get down there any way you can.
08:02Well, I'll need some expense money, Chief.
08:03We'll cash in that train ticket I gave you.
08:06What train ticket?
08:07Didn't I give you a train ticket to Tacoma?
08:09No, you didn't give me a train ticket to Tacoma.
08:11You gave me a tramway ticket to Tehachup.
08:13Now, stop it right there.
08:14I don't want to get involved in any of those tongue twisters with you, Max.
08:17The last time I did it, I couldn't talk for two days.
08:19Oh, look, Chief.
08:20Can't we cash 99's plane ticket in, and then we can both go down by train?
08:25No, because I want 99 to be in Mira Loma, Mexico, ahead of you.
08:28Max, I'll arrange transportation for you, but I don't want you to take it personally.
08:31I don't want you to take it personally.
09:01Buenos dias, senor.
09:03Oh.
09:05Hooray.
09:07Hooray.
09:08Boy, we might be parched.
09:15My card, senor?
09:18L.J. Leibach, M.D.
09:22M.D.
09:23What does this stand for?
09:24Huh?
09:25Oh, uh, Maryland.
09:27Ignacio Valdez, Chief of Police.
09:30Well, I'm very pleased to meet you.
09:31And mayor.
09:32Yes, well, that's very nice.
09:34And city clerk.
09:35Uh, yes, well, you...
09:36And superintendent of schools.
09:38Coroner, justice of the peace, dog catcher, tax collector, and librarian.
09:44Really?
09:45Where do you get time for all that?
09:46We ain't got no library.
09:49Welcome to Mira Loma.
09:50You will find this village very hospitable.
09:53And here, we do not ask questions.
09:56Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that.
09:58What are you doing here?
09:59Oh, uh, yes.
10:01Well, you see, I'm a doctor, and I thought you might need a little medical assistance in
10:04case a plague came through here.
10:06Plague?
10:06Ha, ha, ha.
10:07We have not had plague here for four months, senor.
10:10Oh.
10:11Is that what happened to all the people?
10:12No.
10:13It was like this before the plague.
10:15In this village, there is not much opportunity for young people.
10:19So, they are born here, they are raised here, then they go off to the big city.
10:24Where is that?
10:24North Mira Loma, two miles up the road.
10:28Well, yes.
10:29Well, tell me, where can a fella get a drink around here?
10:31You were just standing in it.
10:34Yes.
10:34Well, I mean the hard stuff.
10:36Ah, the cantina.
10:38You will find the price is low, and it is very shady.
10:42That's exactly what the AMA said about me.
10:45Well, hasta la...
10:46Pista.
10:47Hasta la whatever that is.
10:49Yes, sir.
10:55The one thing you never want to do is to pull a horse's tooth when he's standing up.
11:01Senor.
11:02Ah, senor Valdez.
11:05Join me in a drink.
11:07Say when.
11:11When.
11:13Oh.
11:13Hasta la...
11:14Vista.
11:15Vista, yes.
11:16Senor Lybecker.
11:19I was talking to the head of the tourist bureau, and he told me to tell you, you are welcome
11:24to stay here for as long as you like.
11:26Oh, well, that's very considerate of you.
11:29Who told you I was head of the turista bureau?
11:32Uh, yes.
11:33Well, uh, the owner of the cantina told me.
11:36I did not.
11:39Yes.
11:40Uh, well, how about another drink?
11:41No, thank you.
11:45There is a gentleman here who would like very much to meet you.
11:48Oh, well, that'll be my pleasure.
12:00Senor Dietrich.
12:02Dr. Lybecker.
12:04Please sit down, doctor.
12:08Oh, sorry about that.
12:10So you are a doctor, Senor Lybecker.
12:14Are you a specialist?
12:16Eh, specialist.
12:17No, no, no, no.
12:19I don't believe that a doctor should be a specialist.
12:21And why not?
12:22Eh, why not, yes.
12:24Eh, well, you see, I had a friend once who went to a big specialist.
12:27He was a liver specialist.
12:28And he treated this friend of mine for liver trouble for 12 years.
12:31And then this friend of mine finally died of kidney trouble.
12:35And how good a doctor are you?
12:36Oh, well, I may not be the greatest doctor in the world, but I'll say this.
12:39If I treat you for liver trouble, you die of liver trouble.
12:43And it doesn't take 12 years either.
12:45Right into the ground.
12:47You shouldn't drink so much tequila, doctor.
12:50Oh, this stuff doesn't bother me at all.
12:52Look how steady my hand is.
12:54Do you get a lot of these earthquakes around here?
12:59Well, salute.
13:01You forgot to open your mouth, doctor.
13:04Ah, yes, I did that deliberately.
13:06You see, I decided that I had had enough.
13:10Well, what do you do around this town for excitement?
13:13Tonight, we have a big opening.
13:15Oh, Max!
13:34Give me your hand right next.
13:35Right, Max.
13:36Oh, Max, I'm so glad to see you.
13:40How's everything going, 99?
13:44Any leads?
13:45Not a trace of Esperanza or the tequila mockingbird, Max.
13:48This is her dressing room.
13:49When I came in, it was an absolute shambles.
13:52Valdez and Dietrich really gave it a going over.
13:54Did you search everywhere?
13:56Absolutely everywhere.
13:58I don't understand it, 99.
13:59But one thing's for certain.
14:01If Dietrich is still hanging around,
14:03that means they haven't found the tequila mockingbird.
14:05Esperanza's too good an agent.
14:07She would have left some clues to where she hid the mockingbird.
14:11¿Quién es?
14:13Señorita, listo en cinco minutos, por favor.
14:15Tell him to slip it under the door.
14:17No, Max, he's telling me that I'm on in five minutes.
14:19Gracias!
14:20All right, you stay here, 99.
14:22I'm going to the cantina and mix with the customers.
14:24And keep your eyes open.
14:26Be careful, Max.
14:27Don't worry about me, 99.
14:28They really think I'm a doctor.
14:30How do you know that?
14:30Because Valdez asked me to go out and play golf with them next Wednesday.
14:33Valdez, the chief of police?
14:34No, Valdez, the golf pro.
14:39Max, look!
14:46Boy, whoever swatted that fly wasn't fooling around.
14:49Max, it's a package.
14:50I'll bet this is the clue we've been looking for.
14:52I just hope it isn't fish and chips.
14:59It's an axe.
15:01You may be right, 99.
15:02Look, someone's printed a red W on it.
15:05A red W on an axe?
15:08That's it, 99.
15:12A red W on an axe.
15:13Now all we have to do is look for a red-headed fireman whose first name begins with a W.
15:18A red-headed fireman in Mira Loma?
15:20A red-headed boy scout?
15:22Esperanza must have gambled that this axe would fall into our hands and not chaos's.
15:25Of course.
15:27So she protected herself by very cleverly disguising it as a clue.
15:3199.
15:33Look.
15:33Senorita Aide.
15:45Forgive me.
15:50I did not know you had company.
15:53I have asked the doctor to look at my throat.
15:56It has been bothering me.
15:57Yes, well, it's nothing to be concerned about, Miss Delgado.
16:01You have a slight inflammation there.
16:03I would just suggest that you do not use your throat unnecessarily.
16:06And before you go to bed tonight, just take this.
16:10A hot bath.
16:17Well, good luck.
16:19I'll be out there tonight watching you.
16:23Gracias.
16:30Whenever you are ready, senorita, the customers, they are growing impatient.
16:35Momentito.
16:35Si.
16:40Of course.
17:05Wax.
17:06But the W's red.
17:08Red wax.
17:09That's it.
17:11The table with the red candle must be the clue to where the mockingbird's hidden.
17:18What is that?
17:20Answer to my inquiry.
17:21It just arrived.
17:22Well?
17:24More than we expected.
17:26It seems Dr. Earl J. Leibacher is none other than Control Agent Maxwell Smart.
17:31But we also have another Control Agent in our midst.
17:36Who?
17:38Rosita Delgado.
17:40Rosita Delgado?
17:41Where does it say that?
17:43A moment of your time, Mr. Delgado.
17:56I'm sorry, but I am due on stage in a minute.
18:01Why bother to go on stage when you do such a marvelous job of performing right here, Mrs. Maxwell Smart?
18:07Oh, no, I'm afraid you'll have me mixed up with someone else.
18:09Let's save time, Mrs. Smart.
18:11We are both after the same thing.
18:14Why not pull out talents and join forces?
18:17I'm certain that between the two of us, we can locate the tequila muckingbird.
18:22And then?
18:22And then?
18:23And then I kill you.
18:27So you do know where it is.
18:29I think I can make a talk, Senor Dietrich.
18:32I am also the town torturer.
18:35What is this axe doing here?
18:37I gave myself a manicure.
18:40Red W?
18:41Have you seen this before?
18:42I have seen a lot of axes.
18:43We had a tongue war last year.
18:45Tell us where the muckingbird is.
18:47Or we'll kill you.
18:51I'm coming!
18:53Let her go.
18:56Smart is in the audience.
18:57If she doesn't perform, he may get suspicious.
19:00Do your performance, Mrs. Smart.
19:02But remember, there will be a gun trained on your head every minute.
19:08Oh, and put down those castagnets.
19:10There will be no sending messages.
19:12Yes.
19:12Because I don't want to hear the voice of the brave
19:25That with a kiss my soul gives me my calmness
19:32Ay, ay, ay, ay, pierdo ilusiones
19:39Porque a tu lado se alegran silito lindo los corazones
19:45Ay, ay, ay, ay, pierdo ilusiones
19:51Porque a tu lado se alegran silito lindo los corazones
20:09What is she doing?
20:26She is dancing, senor
20:28Stop it, you fool
20:35She is pointing to the candle
20:36Get smart
20:54Come on, muchachos
20:56Dame la candela
20:57Pronto
20:58Gracias, senor smart
21:14Just put it down and move over there
21:26There she is, senor Dietrich
21:28The tequila mockingbird
21:30Beautiful, beautiful
21:32Superb
21:33Si, magnifico
21:35Not bad
21:37And now, senor
21:38I will take the $500,000
21:41I don't think that will be necessary, Vardes
21:44Now that we found it
21:46All I have to do is take it
21:49I don't think that will be so easy, senor
21:52Just a moment
21:53Do you mind if I jump in here?
21:56Hold it
21:57All right, gentlemen
22:01Anytime you're ready
22:03I don't think it's very windy
22:07I don't think it's going to do that
22:08Hooray's face
22:09I don't think it's like it's the other day
22:09I don't think that will be so easy
22:10I've only got an eye Hurry up
22:12We've also got an eye on that
22:13I think it is
22:14Lubficast
22:46Chief!
22:52Oh, Max!
22:57Get in the car.
23:10Well, we got the tequila mockingbird and in a few hours, Dietrich and Valdez will be behind bars.
23:15It's a good thing you decided to back us up on this assignment, Chief.
23:18We'll see you back in Washington, Chief.
23:19I'm really sorry about this, but when I reserved those four seats for the return flight,
23:23I didn't realize I'd be taking Dietrich and Valdez back with me.
23:26That's all right, Chief.
23:27It's more important that you get them back to Washington first.
23:29We don't mind, as long as we're together.
23:31Come on, Max.
23:31See you back in Washington.
23:38Come on, Max.
23:40Come on.
23:40Come on, Max.
23:46Come on, Max.
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