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Shawn and Shannon are working parents who work different shifts, this makes it hard for them to be on the same page about parenting. The boys run out of the house constantly, swear and flip off their mom.
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00:00Hi, we're the Kearns from Evansville, Wisconsin.
00:03Hi, I'm Sean, and I'm 30 years old.
00:05I'm Shannon, and I'm 24.
00:07We have a set of twins.
00:08Brandon is four, and Bryce is four.
00:11Brenna is our daughter.
00:12She is two.
00:17The boys are crazy.
00:20They are very hyper kids.
00:22Hey.
00:26Bryce, come on.
00:27They fight a lot.
00:29Look at the aggression.
00:30Punching the living daylights out of each other.
00:33Brenna is turning into a little mimic of the boys.
00:40Sean, I need to leave in a half an hour.
00:42OK.
00:43It's really tough getting on the same page with parenting,
00:46because we're never here at the same time.
00:48Mommy's got to leave for work.
00:50We're, like, totally on two different schedules.
00:53Well, these parents do need to communicate.
00:55How are they meant to really work together?
00:57Sean and I argue all the time, because we're always stressed out.
01:00It affects the relationship 100%.
01:03I actually look forward to working on weekends, just
01:05because I don't have to stay home and listen to kids screaming.
01:09I'm not leaving.
01:10I wish.
01:11I wish.
01:12I wish.
01:13I wish.
01:14I wish.
01:15I wish.
01:16I wish.
01:17Rice cards.
01:18There is no discipline in our house whatsoever.
01:20You don't really get mad at them.
01:23No, I don't.
01:24I'm pretty.
01:25He lets everything go.
01:26He doesn't ever get mad or yell at them.
01:28OK.
01:29He ignores it.
01:31Pretty much, yes.
01:32The kids running out of the house all day long is a really big concern for me.
01:39Brandon?
01:40Brandon, do you know you're going to get hit by a car if you keep doing that?
01:43Please don't do that.
01:46This has got to stop.
01:47This is about safety here.
01:49It's like a circus, and I cannot stand living in it anymore.
01:52Super nanny, we need your help.
01:54Well, I better hurry up and get to this family while the kids are still in one piece.
02:07Hello.
02:08Hi.
02:09Hi.
02:10Pleased to meet you.
02:11I'm Shannon.
02:12Come on in.
02:13Hiya.
02:14I didn't know how to react in front of Jo.
02:15I was kind of like, she's judging every move that we make right now.
02:17Hello.
02:18Nice to meet you.
02:19Sean.
02:20When I first met the family, they were a little bit dumbstruck that I was in their
02:24house, but things were about to change.
02:27Whilst lunch was warming up in the oven, the family decided that they were going to
02:31go out into the backyard and play.
02:34And then the boys decided to jump the neighbour's fence as she was left having to have two uninvited
02:41guests.
02:42This lady might not want them over.
02:45I mean, she didn't invite them, did she?
02:47Sean.
02:48No, don't push.
02:49Dad finally had to remove the boys physically.
02:52Come on.
02:55So this fence is not enough of a boundary?
02:57No, it's not.
02:58Just today, they were trying to hit me in the stomach because I was trying to make them
03:02leave.
03:03Excuse me?
03:04And I'm pregnant.
03:05Yeah.
03:06So, we've got some issues to work on.
03:08Don't kick me.
03:09And then back in their own yard, the boys didn't show any more respect for mum than they did
03:14for their neighbour's backyard.
03:17Did he just flip you the bird?
03:19Yes, he did.
03:20Do you want to come help me get off the pizzas and cut them up?
03:24It's like this family are oblivious to what their children are doing and saying to them.
03:30I've seen dogs train better.
03:32You are a , and I don't like you.
03:35Bryce and Brandon call me the B word on a regular basis.
03:39That's like daily.
03:40Give me a hug and calm down, okay?
03:43It's tolerated by their parents.
03:45They don't put any discipline in place to teach their children that this behaviour will not
03:53be tolerated.
03:54The other pizza is in the oven that you like.
03:56The pizza did eventually warm up, but the kids didn't sit down to have lunch.
04:00The boys got up and started to run outside, which is defiant and dangerous.
04:05Brandon?
04:06Sean, can you grab her?
04:07Oh, get up.
04:08So, you spend your time running around the house?
04:13Yeah, pretty much.
04:15They run in, and they'll go next door, and we tell them not to, and they'll start running
04:19next door.
04:20Sean, when did it get this bad?
04:21Um, it's been like this for a long time.
04:24Dad took a turn in chasing Brandon and brought him inside the house, but then he got up and
04:30he tried to get out the house again.
04:32Get in the house.
04:35I tell you what, I wish I lived in this house.
04:38I'd be five stone lighter.
04:40But then I saw exactly how Mum and Dad deal with this problem.
04:49What was that, Lois?
04:50Yeah, locked in the door.
04:52What was that?
04:53We locked him in.
04:54I've locked Brandon in his bedroom.
04:55Come here!
04:57Sean and I reversed the lock on their bedroom door.
05:01We have used it just to keep them in the house.
05:05It's a desperate means of trying to control your children.
05:10When you lock them in their bedroom, it's not effective.
05:14It certainly isn't going to teach the child how to behave properly.
05:19And when he's let out of the room, he's only going to want to run around more.
05:23Brandon?
05:24When you're ready to come out and not run out the door.
05:27I know!
05:28OK.
05:29OK, why did you do that?
05:31He'd spat his chewed up pizza onto his bedroom floor.
05:36Did you have it in your mouth or did you fill that up?
05:39I think it.
05:40No, you didn't.
05:41I filled up and...
05:42OK.
05:43And then Brenna walked in and picked up the piece of pizza and put it in her mouth.
05:48She's eating the food.
05:50Oh, my God.
05:51Brenna, yucky!
05:52I thought I was going to puke myself, to be honest.
05:55That's gross.
05:56That's Brandon's chewed up food.
05:58It didn't really faze me because Brenna will pick up whatever the boys leave behind.
06:03It's pretty normal at our house.
06:05OK.
06:06Let's go.
06:07Come on.
06:08Because there are no boundaries or discipline and because these children do not take direction
06:12or listen to their parents, everything has spiraled out of control.
06:16So you have to question, what are these parents thinking?
06:25Later on in the day, the kids slipped away from mum and ran outside the house again.
06:30I'm concerned for their safety at this point.
06:32Where is everyone?
06:34Yeah, Sean's out rounding the kids.
06:37Sorry?
06:38Sean is out rounding up the kids.
06:40Right, where are they?
06:41They're outside.
06:42Where?
06:43I didn't see them.
06:44Somewhere.
06:45They went running that way.
06:46What do you mean somewhere?
06:47What do you mean you don't know where they are?
06:48Well, they're probably down three houses down with Sean.
06:52Probably.
06:53So you don't know where they are?
06:54Well, they're with their dad.
06:55I know that.
06:56I think.
06:57So we went to the neighbors.
06:59The kids were out there playing with other children, no adults, and there was no Sean.
07:04Okay, guys.
07:05Come home.
07:06Where's Sean?
07:07I have no idea where Sean's at, so...
07:11Sean went back home.
07:12Sean went back home.
07:13And your kids are still here?
07:16Yes.
07:17And where's Brenna?
07:19She...
07:20He has her.
07:21How do you know?
07:22You thought that's the boys.
07:23Well, I thought he chased him down here, but hopefully he has Brenna.
07:28That's what I'm hoping.
07:30Is that another pond over there?
07:34I mean, let's face it, there's a massive pond by their house.
07:39I mean, it's only going to be a matter of time before a bad situation could happen.
07:44Four years old and these kids are out.
07:47And where's the parents?
07:49We were taking the kids back to the house and then Sean suddenly reappeared.
07:55Oh, there you are.
07:56Hold on a minute.
07:57Where have you been?
07:58It's not rocket science, is it?
07:59They're your kids.
08:00They're your responsibility.
08:01You don't just leave them in the garden and just hope they'll be alright when you get back.
08:06Finally, all the kids were back in the house.
08:08But the lack of parenting skills between mum and dad is causing an immense strain on their marriage.
08:14Well, I just don't want to play games.
08:15You know, my kids run outside.
08:16I'm not playing games.
08:17I was with them.
08:18I was the only one that was with them.
08:19If I'm outside looking for you, if I'm outside looking for you...
08:21I was the only one that was sitting there watching them play for about 20 minutes.
08:25Yes, because I was in here picking up their Play-Doh mesh, Sean.
08:28Okay, but I was over there watching them play.
08:30Okay, but then I come down there...
08:31And I went back because it's getting cold out, so I went and got them a cold.
08:34Fine, fine, fine.
08:35After seeing mum and dad argue, I know that once I can get these kids behaving better,
08:39I'm going to need to concentrate on mum and dad seeing eye to eye.
08:42Not a big deal.
08:43Okay, bye.
08:48Mum and dad got the kids bathed and dressed and ready for bed, but by then it was 8.30.
08:53I mean, most two- and four-year-olds would have been soundly asleep by then.
08:58But not these boys.
08:59It was showtime.
09:01Look what dad's putting in, guys.
09:04Come on, football movie's on.
09:06Bedtime at our house is non-existent.
09:09The kids just fall asleep wherever and whenever.
09:12Mum explained to me that bedtimes are pretty much predictable in this house.
09:17We'll let them sit down out here and fall asleep and then transfer them to their bedroom.
09:23And what would you say, around four, five, three, they get up and come in our bed.
09:28So one of us will come out here or in the boys' bed.
09:34You're having a laugh.
09:35Musical beds.
09:36They won't work.
09:37After a little bit, I did see mum try to put Brenna to bed.
09:40Good night, Bina.
09:44But she was determined to have none of it.
09:48But you're not sitting down out here, Brenna.
09:53Brenna, go to bed.
09:54Mommy!
09:57Get in the bed, and I mean it.
10:02And in the meantime, the boys couldn't sit still.
10:05They were restless and overtired.
10:07You want me to put you in your bedroom and lock the door?
10:09Because that's where you're gonna go.
10:11Brenna, do not bite me.
10:12That's not even funny.
10:13Don't do it.
10:15And then cheeky Brandon saw an opportunity to add to the mischief.
10:22They normally don't even go in her room.
10:25But tonight, I don't know why.
10:26They just want to go in there and just to rest, just to keep everything, keep going all night long.
10:32Come 10 o'clock, finally, all the kids had fallen asleep.
10:39We will be having a family meeting where we can talk about a lot of issues that do need to be addressed, so we can start to create some equilibrium in this house.
10:49Okay.
10:50All right, so...
10:51Sounds good.
10:52I am kind of nervous of what she's gonna say to me and my wife.
10:56I'll see myself out.
10:57Okay.
10:59Yeah.
11:00I don't know quite exactly how she took everything in and what she's going to tell us.
11:05I don't believe I'm gonna be telling them anything they don't know.
11:09But how they handle the truth is yet to be seen.
11:13Good night.
11:14Good night.
11:15Good night.
11:16Good night tomorrow.
11:30Well, well, well.
11:31Where do I begin?
11:32You obviously know that you've got serious issues to address.
11:37Mm-hm.
11:38Otherwise, I wouldn't be here.
11:40Let's talk about the kids' behaviour right now.
11:42Mm-hm.
11:43Because what I saw yesterday, I was not happy with.
11:47These kids think that it's okay to swear, to curse at the pair of you, to hit you in the face.
11:55They have no respect for you.
11:58But at what point do two parents not make a decision to go across to a neighbour and apologise for their children's behaviour?
12:06I've apologised to neighbours before.
12:08Yesterday, I did not see it.
12:11They played on her apparatus, did not listen to her.
12:15And I wish she would have told us that.
12:16Called her names.
12:17You know, I don't agree with it.
12:18Then where did you not?
12:19I feel bad that our kids, like, think they can just charge through other people's yards.
12:23Then why did you not even apologise?
12:25Why, you went into the ladies' garden yesterday, Sean.
12:28Mm-hm.
12:29You did not even apologise to the neighbour and said, we're really sorry about this.
12:32I'm constantly saying I'm sorry.
12:34Because this past couple of days, I ran into sand in her face and I said I'm sorry.
12:42You have an extreme situation here.
12:45And you both, you both better wake up.
12:48Mm-hm.
12:49Mm-hm.
12:50Bedtime.
12:51Let's talk about bedtime.
12:53It's chaos.
12:54Bedtime's ludicrous.
12:55There is no bedtime.
12:56Well, what time is it?
12:57Whenever they fall asleep.
12:58We don't have, yeah, we don't have a scheduled bedtime.
13:01I know they're not getting enough sleep and I think that's why they're so, like, crabby in the morning,
13:07because they don't get to bed on time.
13:09I think it's why you're crabby in the morning, I think it's why you've knocked out.
13:13These kids have got dark marks underneath their eyes.
13:16So, yeah, they're going to be grouchy.
13:18And, yeah, they're going to be irritable.
13:20And they're not going to focus and concentrate as much.
13:25Let's talk about discipline.
13:26How do you expect to teach your children the difference between right and wrong?
13:30The kids misbehave.
13:31You know it's wrong, yet you don't teach them it.
13:34I just get sick of hearing myself yell all the time.
13:37I get sick of hearing my own voice.
13:39You're lazy the pair of you.
13:42Get used to hearing that word, lazy.
13:45All you do is give idle threats.
13:47And yet what they need from you is a final word.
13:52They need you to follow through.
13:54I want to start working on this and I know this will be the hardest two weeks of our life,
13:59but it'll be worth it in the end if we follow through.
14:02And that's what I'm looking forward to doing.
14:04I want to see action.
14:06Because I can give you what's necessary.
14:08We have to use it.
14:09But you have to do it.
14:11OK.
14:20There are so many things that Mum and Dad need to change,
14:23that I think they need an aid to help them identify and remember them all.
14:28We're going to put it right up here.
14:30OK.
14:31This is what I am going to show you both.
14:34It's the long list of consistent, not so good things we were doing.
14:41It was a visual for them to see just exactly how long this list was.
14:46It's a visual reminder of where we need to be going, what we need to be doing.
14:49Because what we're going to do is, we're going to change that.
14:52And when we change it, we're then going to take this off and we're going to put new ones on up here.
14:58You're putting your energy into the wrong stuff.
15:01So we're now going to really start to redirect that energy.
15:06So you become more mindful and start to do the things that are very positive up here, that are good for your family.
15:15The next thing I wanted to give Mum and Dad was a method to help them stimulate activity with the children,
15:21but also to help them feel more motivated to behave better.
15:25I've brought in a routine that allows the children to choose the activities that they do in the morning
15:32and in the afternoon on the weekends that you do have family time together.
15:37And then also in the evening when they come home from school.
15:42The children will have the choice in taking turns in picking a window.
15:47And when they open up the window, there will be an activity in there that they can do.
15:52I gave Sean and Shannon some time to think about the activities that the kids would love
15:56and then they could write that in the little house.
15:58Puzzles. Puzzles. Board games.
16:00Painting. Painting, yeah.
16:04We could bake, do a baking project.
16:08Reading a book. Books, that's good.
16:11And of course it was then time to show the house to the kids.
16:14Open one up.
16:16Hi, what does it say?
16:18Books.
16:20So we need to play with books tonight and read them?
16:23Read a book tonight.
16:24After the parents had shown Bryce and Brandon the activity house,
16:28they decided that it would be a good time to go outside and play.
16:32Do you guys want to go outside and play?
16:34Yes!
16:35Can you Velcro this for a minute?
16:36Of course you can.
16:37No, you can do it.
16:38Good job.
16:39That's what I'm talking about.
16:41High five, Brycer.
16:42All right, good job.
16:43Good job.
16:44Good morning.
16:45All right, good job, Bryce.
16:46Brandon started to whine about wanting to put a particular pair of shoes on.
16:51And when he couldn't get his own way, things started to escalate big time.
16:57We can wear skateboarding shoes a different day, but I would like you to put these on for me.
17:01It's up to him.
17:02If he doesn't want to put them on, then he doesn't have to play outside.
17:05Up to him.
17:06Brandon put on the shoes eventually, but by then, it was all about this temper tantrum he was throwing and his defiant behavior.
17:14Brandon, Brandon, this is a warning.
17:17If you keep crying and you keep trying to run out there, then I'm going to put you in the house on a timeout.
17:23Mom had given him a warning and he continued to have a meltdown, which led to a timeout.
17:29Brandon, you see, I'm going outside.
17:31When you're done crying and you take a four-minute timeout, then you can come outside.
17:36Walk away.
17:37I need you to sit here.
17:38Don't talk.
17:39You just put him back.
17:40It was the crunch.
17:41Mom was going to either follow through and really give Brandon discipline for the first time, or she was going to let it slip.
17:48You sit.
17:49I want to get him!
17:51I want to get him!
17:52I want to get him!
17:53I want to get him!
17:54Help!
17:55Help!
17:56Oh, my God!
17:57I want to get him!
17:58I want to get him!
17:59I want to get him!
18:00No!
18:01No!
18:02I want to get him!
18:03No!
18:04No!
18:05Quite frankly, we've had enough of this faffing around, OK?
18:08So he's taking him by the hand and he's going back over here.
18:11Because we're fed up with this, OK?
18:14And we're not having any of this.
18:16I thought, you know, timeouts are never going to work for our kids.
18:24Just because we've never tried them, like, and we're actually consistent with timeouts.
18:28But I knew, yeah, we had to do it just to prove to Joe that we actually were going to take her seriously and try her techniques.
18:35Can you tell me you're sorry for throwing a fit out there and not listening to Mom?
18:39I want to put my skin on it!
18:41We've already been through that, Brandon.
18:44Oh, oh, hold on a minute, hold on a minute, hold on.
18:46Yeah, that is the same record he's playing.
18:48Yeah, he didn't apologise.
18:49Let's go, he can stay there longer.
18:51The technique's not over unless it's done properly.
18:54And when Brandon decided that he was going to take himself out of timeout,
18:58that's when I knew we were in for a long, drawn-out battle.
19:02Brandon?
19:03Please?
19:04Brandon?
19:05Do not hit me.
19:06Brandon?
19:07OK, you can go back on timeout for hitting Mom.
19:09Yep.
19:10I'm sorry.
19:11Ow!
19:12Ow!
19:13Ow!
19:14Ow!
19:15Are we ready to eat?
19:16Bryce?
19:17I want to eat.
19:18Timeout first.
19:19No eating.
19:20Timeout.
19:21Brandon has never, ever been told no that many times.
19:22And so that was really getting to him that I just kept walking him back.
19:24And it was really hard for me to do.
19:39I think Mom did very well in her effort to keep placing Brandon back into timeout.
19:45But it had led to Mom needing to get the kids ready for bedtime.
19:50Open the door, Shannon.
19:51Finally, after two and a half hours, Brandon decided to stay put.
20:03But the persistence did pay off.
20:06This was a matter of Brandon understanding that he needed to listen and do as he was told.
20:12That was the longest timeout discipline thing we've ever, ever experienced.
20:17And that was hard for me, but I'm really glad that I followed through with it.
20:21You were on a timeout because you hit Mom and because you weren't listening to me.
20:25I need you to tell Mom that you're sorry for acting that way.
20:28Bryce.
20:29Bryce, please walk away.
20:30Sorry.
20:31Can I have hugs and kisses?
20:33When Brandon was done with his timeout and he served his four minutes, I was so incredibly happy.
20:38I want to eat.
20:39OK.
20:40He does need to eat.
20:41Sean and Shannon worked really well together and they followed through and stuck with it,
20:47which is a real achievement for them.
20:49It really is.
20:50Hey, guys.
20:51Chill it down now because it's, you know, the late evening.
20:55Yeah.
20:56And get some sleep and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.
20:58A good first day today.
21:00You took a lot in and you followed through.
21:01See you tomorrow.
21:02Bye-bye.
21:03Sean and Shannon do know how to discipline the boys now, but I've got some patchwork to
21:22do between the pair of them.
21:24So Dad does have a challenge to do whilst Mom's at work.
21:27Bye, guys.
21:28Bye, Sean.
21:29Love you.
21:30I'm going to prepare a meal.
21:31OK.
21:32A romantic meal.
21:33OK.
21:34Tonight for when Shannon comes home.
21:36OK.
21:37It's hard for Sean and I to get any alone time.
21:39The kids, you know, definitely, they come between us.
21:42You guys ready?
21:43Come on, Bryce.
21:44Let's rock and roll.
21:45Let's rock and roll.
21:46Bryce, come on.
21:47Let's go.
21:48So whilst Shannon's at work, Dad has to go around the grocery store and get what he needs
21:52and keep three kids in order as well.
21:55OK.
21:56When we get up to the line, you can, OK?
21:58If you've told them that they can have something, then they better be earning it.
22:00Yeah.
22:01Oh, yeah.
22:02Do you know what I mean?
22:03So you know what?
22:04Let them know because there's no way.
22:05You guys, OK.
22:06They do what they normally do.
22:07If you're not good in here, then you are not getting anything.
22:08OK, a bottle of...
22:09We'll get her a big bottle.
22:10She'll probably need it.
22:11All right.
22:12OK, ice cream now.
22:13Let's face it.
22:14When it came to the romantic gestures, I think it would be fair to say that Dad was a little
22:29bit rusty.
22:30Metropolitan.
22:31That's pretty good.
22:32OK?
22:33Play around with it.
22:34Go and get some raspberries.
22:35OK.
22:36Sprinkle it on top.
22:37Have some fun with the food.
22:38OK.
22:39That would be on the other side of the store, though.
22:40That would.
22:41But is it worth the effort or not?
22:44I think this should be good.
22:46I think we got everything.
22:47I'm going to go like this to you.
22:48Get the raspberries.
22:49Come on.
22:50Let's go.
22:51All right.
22:52OK.
22:53Don't make the effort for your wife because you're worried about dragging the kids around
22:56the supermarket.
22:57Come on.
22:58You've left one.
22:59Bryce.
23:00Come on, Bryce.
23:01Hold on to Brenna.
23:02Hold on to Brenna.
23:03She's the youngest.
23:04She's running off.
23:05March.
23:06March.
23:07March.
23:08March.
23:09Come on.
23:10Follow Dad.
23:11OK.
23:12Here we go.
23:13Here we go.
23:14OK.
23:15Let's go.
23:16Hold on to Daddy's hand.
23:17That was a challenge, but I ended up getting out of there with everything I needed.
23:21The problem Shannon and Sean are facing is because these kids don't go to sleep until
23:2610 o'clock.
23:27What kind of an evening do Mom and Dad get?
23:29All right, so both come over here because we are going to do bedtime.
23:34This is what we do want to do.
23:35Take the kids through the paces of pajamas, teeth brushing, potty, reading stories, and
23:42so to bed.
23:43Tonight, they're going into their own bed straight away.
23:46The most stressful part for me is bedtime.
23:49All right, guys.
23:50It just kind of puts like a wedge between me and Shannon.
23:54I mentioned to Mom and Dad that the best strategy here at this point is divide and conquer.
23:59Have Mom put Brenna to bed and Dad the boys.
24:03The parents have to make that choice in creating the transition between day and night.
24:09Can I have kisses?
24:12I love you guys.
24:15Good night.
24:16Mom and Dad got the kids off to bed, but when they did so, the kids started to get up and
24:21run around, so I gave them a technique to help with this.
24:24This is what we're going to do.
24:25Brenna, okay, sleep separation technique.
24:28The sleep separation technique is to put your child into bed, to stay by the corner of
24:34the bedside, and to continuously put your child into bed without talking to them, and then
24:40move yourself further and further away until you're outside the bedroom.
24:43So, are we ready for this?
24:44Yeah.
24:45Let's go.
24:52Get in to bed.
24:53It is bedtime.
24:55The kids were sneaking up and down, and it really was a case of Mom and Dad having to
25:00stick with these techniques to make them work.
25:03Leave this light off, or I am going to take the video game away.
25:15Take the video game away.
25:16Shannon got Brenna off to bed really, really quickly, which was fantastic, and then it
25:33left her time to then help Sean with the boys.
25:36He's laughing.
25:38She was a major support for Sean when he was putting the boys down.
25:45Me and Shannon didn't give up.
25:47We just kept doing it and doing it, and eventually they just gave up and fell asleep.
25:53Finally, the kids did all settle and go off to sleep, which then left them time to enjoy
25:59the meal that Sean had prepared.
26:01Sean had set up a very nice romantic dinner with candles, flowers.
26:05He had the lighting all set.
26:07It was pretty.
26:08And he had the wine, so that was great.
26:11Free's kind of a crowd right now, so enjoy your dinner.
26:14I think I overcooked this.
26:17Gonna be a little on the crispy side.
26:20We've been together almost six years.
26:22He's never cooked dinner.
26:23It's so important that couples spend time alone.
26:29Sean and Shannon have missed so much of that.
26:31So let's just check out what's happened here.
26:36Both boys are asleep in their bedroom.
26:39Brenna's asleep in her bedroom.
26:41You guys are chilling in your living room by yourselves.
26:46So, what's the odds of me going away for three days and coming back and looking at some good footage?
26:53I was nervous.
26:54I was like, okay, so now she's not going to be here and help us, like, following through with everything.
26:58Are we going to be able to do it?
27:00I know.
27:01I am dead set on getting our kids straight.
27:04They say they're ready for change.
27:07They say that they want things to be different.
27:11And yes, it needs to desperately be different.
27:15Enjoy your evening.
27:17The kids are all in bed, and I'll see you in several days.
27:20Okay.
27:21Okay?
27:22Thank you very much.
27:23You're welcome.
27:24See you later.
27:25Yeah.
27:26Mom and Dad do feel confident that they can really put this all into place.
27:29However, it is yet to be seen.
27:38So, I've left the Kern family for several days.
27:40Have they thrown in the towel again, or have they continued?
27:43I just don't know.
27:44I'm about to find out.
27:46So, who's ready to watch this DVD?
27:49Mm-hmm.
27:50I'm ready.
27:51All right.
27:52Grab the other one.
27:54Good girl.
27:55All right.
27:56Go, Brenna.
27:57Go.
27:58I want to make an X.
27:59You've got to try to block it, so I can't make three across.
28:03Here comes the airplane.
28:04Open up.
28:05Open up.
28:06Ow!
28:07Good job, Brenna.
28:08Woof!
28:09Woof!
28:10Woof!
28:11Woof!
28:12Woof!
28:13Well, you were certainly involved.
28:14Oh, yeah.
28:15Huh?
28:16Mm-hmm.
28:17That's a big difference to when I first arrived.
28:18What happened?
28:19Well, I just seen that difference in my kids as they were acting better, and I knew that's
28:31what I need to start doing is paying more attention to them, because I've seen attitude
28:38change and, you know, just the way they got excited and stuff, just seeing their expressions.
28:42It can be so rewarding when you are with the kids and you actually enjoy fatherhood.
28:48You're actually enjoying it.
28:49You're actually enjoying spending time with your kids.
28:51Yeah.
28:52It's good to see.
28:53So, we're going to move on to the next clip here.
28:56Bryce, you need to get down right now.
28:59Bryce, that's a warning.
29:00You keep doing it and you're going on timeout.
29:02Bryce, you need to get down.
29:04You need to get down.
29:06Stop it, Bryce, or you are going to go on a timeout.
29:09Come here.
29:10Come here.
29:11Come here.
29:12Bryce, knock it off.
29:17We need more focus with discipline.
29:20A lot of loose warnings flying around, and there's supposed to be one of them, yet they're
29:25in abundance.
29:26So, really, what does a warning serve then?
29:30You've got to follow through.
29:31Otherwise, you mess it up for yourselves and for them.
29:35Guys, I love you.
29:36Good night.
29:40Okay.
29:41Next time, you guys keep doing this, no riding your bike tomorrow.
29:55Listen to me.
29:56If you keep doing this, the bikes are gone all day.
29:59If I see you guys in this hallway, no bikes tomorrow.
30:00And I mean it.
30:01If during the day, you're not consistent and you don't mean what you say, your kids are
30:16not going to let up during the evening.
30:17They're going to run rings around you.
30:18Well, because you don't mean what you say.
30:19You've got to follow through.
30:20You've got to do during the day what you're supposed to do to get the results in the evening.
30:24Let's take a look.
30:25Verona, it's bedtime.
30:26Verona, it's bedtime.
30:33So you crashed out as well?
30:34Yeah, not totally.
30:35Just kind of caught myself.
30:36I was like, whoa, I need to get up.
30:37Was she sleeping?
30:38She was sleeping.
30:39This sleep separation technique.
30:40I just want to say well done.
30:41You sat.
30:42Yeah.
30:43What?
30:44Yeah.
30:45Yeah.
30:46What?
30:47Well, we just had to do with that.
30:48Or what?
30:49Yeah, we're going to do the work.
30:50And, you know, how much more people would do it?
30:52But we, yeah, that's your thing.
30:53And what?
30:54What?
30:55So you crashed out as well.
30:56Yeah.
30:57No, totally.
30:58Just kind of caught myself.
30:59And I was like, whoa, I need to get up.
31:01Was she sleeping?
31:02She was sleeping.
31:03This sleep separation technique, I just want to say well done.
31:09You sat in that bedroom with that door closed.
31:13No direction from myself.
31:16And you did it and you completed it.
31:18Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
31:21So let's move on to the last clip here.
31:22Don't go in there. You don't belong in there.
31:24That's not yours, okay?
31:26Brenna, you do not go in somebody else's garage.
31:29Do you hear me?
31:31No, you're going to stay in our yard.
31:35This isn't ours. Come on.
31:37Hey, Bryce and Brenna, get out of their house.
31:40We'll be out in a minute. We'll play.
31:42What I'm still seeing is the kids
31:44doing what they want to do
31:47in their neighbours' backyards.
31:50You know, I understand that you're all out
31:51and the kids will play and all the neighbours know each other,
31:54but this garage belongs to somebody else.
31:56You know, we just cannot walk into other people's
31:59space.
32:01You know, otherwise it's free for all.
32:04All right, so, ready for some more work here?
32:06Mm-hmm. Yeah.
32:07All right.
32:15The boys love to play soccer,
32:17so what I want to do is to bring in
32:19a relatable discipline technique
32:22to help Dad kick this in
32:24with the boys.
32:25This is time-out.
32:27This is the place where they come when they misbehave.
32:29It's no different to what you've been doing.
32:32The rules are still the same.
32:33The steps are still the same.
32:35You still need to give one warning and follow through.
32:38The only difference is, is the kids are going to sit in the penalty spot.
32:41I brought in a yellow card and a red card.
32:43These cards now, you're going to use to aid yourself.
32:47The yellow card is for a warning, and the red card is for time-out.
32:51One warning, one time-out, straight to the time-out spot afterwards.
32:55You know, to be honest with you, it's more for Dad's sake
32:57than it is for the kids, so let's just hope he uses it.
33:00I am really excited to use this technique.
33:02I think this is what we needed.
33:06I'm going to throw it to...
33:08Sean!
33:10All right!
33:10The kids were all playing outside,
33:12and then Bryce decided to run off,
33:14and Dad chased him,
33:16which then gave him a good opportunity
33:17to put in place the new technique he'd just been taught.
33:20So we're not playing right there.
33:22Come on!
33:22Come here, Bryce!
33:23Bryce!
33:26Three and four, Sean!
33:27Bryce, come here!
33:29Bryce!
33:29Yellow card!
33:31Huh?
33:32Yellow!
33:33Oh.
33:34Yep.
33:35Here.
33:35This is...
33:36Right here.
33:37You know what this means.
33:39This means go inside.
33:42This means warning.
33:43If I tell you again,
33:45you're going in.
33:47You're so little!
33:49So you gave him a warning?
33:51You showed him the yellow.
33:53Yep.
33:54So don't worry about showing him the red.
33:56Yeah.
33:56It was just a warning,
33:57just show him the yellow.
33:58Yeah.
34:02I do love the fact that this neighbourhood
34:04are a community where they are very friendly
34:07and know one another,
34:08but I still feel that you need to respect
34:10each other's property.
34:11So I called some of the neighbours over
34:12so we could meet in the backyard
34:14and talk about this particular subject.
34:16Hey, guys!
34:17Hey!
34:18How's it going?
34:18Ooh!
34:19That's the yellow.
34:20Yeah!
34:21There seems to be a lack of respect
34:24with regards to people's property
34:26without anybody really realising
34:28whether that's acceptable or not.
34:31So who can really be honest about that?
34:33Even when my kids aren't outside,
34:36Bryce and Brandon will kind of come over
34:37and if I don't know that they're out there
34:40then I can't really keep an eye on them
34:43so I think it might be a good idea
34:45to have a little bit more communication.
34:47You kind of feel like you're responsible
34:48for somebody else's kid
34:50if they're in your space.
34:54So what I wanted to do
34:55was to introduce to the neighbourhood
34:58some rules.
34:59I had a big signpost for them.
35:01I hope that they'll read over the rules.
35:03I hope that they'll all stick together
35:05and recognise the important part
35:07that they all play in their community.
35:08Number one, ask permission
35:11before entering others' yards.
35:14Number two, kids to be supervised at all times.
35:18Three, each parent to respect their neighbour's rules.
35:22Number four, respect everyone's property boundaries
35:25and one another.
35:27Number five, it's really important
35:28to maintain the communication.
35:31The neighbourhood rules I think
35:33are going to work really good.
35:34It just makes us aware
35:35of what each family really wants.
35:39I also felt it was important
35:42to give the children a visual
35:43to remind them
35:44to respect their neighbour's space.
35:49These flags
35:50are going to be placed in your backyard.
35:53If the green flag is up,
35:54it means that the kids know
35:56that it's OK to play
35:57on the other person's apparatus.
36:00If you see the red flag up high,
36:04it means no playing on the apparatus,
36:07they're coming in.
36:09So, are you going to do yours?
36:11Are you going to place your pole?
36:12You have to ask Mum and Dad.
36:13Let's keep it on green, you guys,
36:15so everybody can play.
36:16I think the boys are going to have
36:18a rough time with it,
36:19learning their boundaries,
36:20but we'll work on that with them.
36:22This is going to help.
36:24Thanks for coming over to play.
36:28Dad is going to go home now.
36:30I'm going to go home.
36:31Stay.
36:31No, we want you to stay.
36:33When I first walked into this house,
36:36I met a very young couple
36:37who really found it difficult
36:40to listen to the truth,
36:43and they made a decision
36:44to literally get with the plan
36:47and start changing things.
36:49So the most important thing to do
36:50is to continue.
36:51Don't throw the towel in.
36:52Don't give up on your kids,
36:54because if you give up on your kids,
36:55they've got no one.
36:56They need you.
36:57I'm closer with my kids,
37:00and it makes me feel good.
37:02Good to see you.
37:03This experience has changed my life.
37:06Boys, give me a high five.
37:08No.
37:08You don't give me a high five?
37:10No?
37:10Okay.
37:12All right.
37:13Bye, JoJo.
37:15Bye, JoJo.
37:16See you later.
37:16Thank you so much.
37:17You're welcome.
37:18You're welcome.
37:18Keep up with your homework.
37:20Jo changed our family completely.
37:22It's amazing, like,
37:23the change that we went through
37:24in such a short time,
37:26just to make us wake up
37:27and actually do something.
37:29She made us a family again.
37:32Take care.
37:33Keep up.
37:33Keep it up.
37:34We will.
37:35We will.
37:35It doesn't matter how much
37:36you have laid down
37:37that has been destructive.
37:39You can learn by that,
37:41and you can change it.
37:43Never give up hope.
37:44It's never too late.
37:59It doesn't matter how much
38:01you can change it.
38:02It doesn't matter how much
38:03you can change it.
38:03It doesn't matter how much
38:04you can change it.
38:05It doesn't matter how much
38:05you can change it.
38:05It doesn't matter how much
38:06you can change it.
38:07It doesn't matter how much
38:07you can change it.
38:08It doesn't matter how much
38:08you can change it.
38:09It doesn't matter how much
38:09you can change it.
38:10It doesn't matter how much
38:10you can change it.
38:11It doesn't matter how much
38:11you can change it.
38:12It doesn't matter how much
38:12you can change it.
38:13It doesn't matter how much
38:13you can change it.
38:14It doesn't matter how much
38:14it doesn't matter how much
38:15it doesn't matter how much
38:16it doesn't matter how much
38:17it doesn't matter how
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