- anteontem
These kids sometimes will fight until they win leaving the parents drained out of energy. Will you watch the it?
Categoria
📺
TVTranscrição
00:00Hi, I'm Brandi.
00:01This is Doug, and we're the Doyles.
00:03We have three small children.
00:06Sarah is age five, Lizzie is age three,
00:09and Andrew is 20 months.
00:12These children are adorable.
00:14Brandi and I both work full time.
00:15I'm a lawn care technician.
00:17She's a leasing professional.
00:19Young parents are both working.
00:22We're the parents.
00:23They terrorize us.
00:24Stop it.
00:25Let them go.
00:27Lizzie, she's three and a half.
00:29She is our biggest problem, I guess you would say.
00:34She's a handful.
00:39She throws temper tantrums.
00:40She's just 100 miles an hour, 24 hours a day.
00:44You're going to pick every one of those up.
00:45You're going to hit.
00:48Stop hitting me.
00:50My oldest, Sarah, she's five, and she is stubborn.
00:55She will fight until the end and fight until she wins.
00:58She got a hold of the scissors and decided that she needed a haircut.
01:03These children have crossed the line.
01:05Andrew is 20 months old.
01:08Andrew whines a lot.
01:11From the time we wake up to the time we go to bed, it's nothing but screaming kids.
01:16We definitely don't know where we went wrong.
01:22Stop kicking me!
01:24Ow!
01:26We are close to giving up.
01:28We've tried everything.
01:29Supernanny, please help us.
01:34You guys need a back-to-basics class.
01:37I'm on my way.
01:38Hello.
01:39Can I come in?
01:40Sure.
01:41This is me.
01:42I'm Jo.
01:43I'm Brandy.
01:44I'm hoping that she sees that I am a young mother, 24 years old, and I am just inexperienced
02:07need some help.
02:08Introduce me to your brood here.
02:10This is Andrew.
02:11Hi, Andrew.
02:12Hello.
02:13Hello, sweetie.
02:14And Sarah.
02:15Hi, Sarah.
02:16You're going to shake my hand.
02:17Don't you shake my hand.
02:18Help.
02:19And then we've got Lizzie.
02:20Hi, Lizzie.
02:21Are you going to shake JoJo's hand?
02:22Wow, all three.
02:23Under five.
02:24That's a handful.
02:25Well, today what I'm going to do is I'm going to watch you.
02:27So just please carry on with what you would normally be doing.
02:28Your partner's here, or...?
02:29Dad's at work.
02:30OK.
02:31Soon after I arrived, it was time for Andrew to be put down for a nap, so I ran over to
02:34the girls who were playing on the computer.
02:35Lizzie, don't even talk about this.
02:36Yeah.
02:37Tempest started to flare, and it hasn't been long.
02:40Stop it!
02:41It appears that it's a big deal.
02:42It's a big deal.
02:43It's a big deal.
02:44It's a big deal.
02:45It's a big deal.
02:46It's a big deal.
02:47It's a big deal.
02:48It's a big deal.
02:49It's a big deal.
02:50It's a big deal.
02:51It's a big deal.
02:52It's a big deal.
02:53It's a big deal.
02:54Stop it!
02:55It appeared that the girls had some sharing issues.
02:59Oh, we'll stop...
03:01Mommy!
03:05I don't allow Sarah to play upstairs when Andrew's napping.
03:09Oh, pull me down!
03:10Mom got Sarah downstairs, but she didn't want to stay there.
03:14I'm going to put the gate up at the top of the steps.
03:16Stop it.
03:17If you don't climb over this, it's dangerous.
03:21You can go to your room then.
03:23If you want to stay up here, you can go to your room.
03:25Stay, stay.
03:29I don't know what else to do.
03:31She won't sit in a timeout.
03:32The first thing I'm thinking when I'm watching Brandy
03:35holding that doorknob and not allowing Sarah out of the room,
03:39what are you doing?
03:41Calm down. No.
03:44Sarah, calm down.
03:46And then she starts to have a conversation through the wall.
03:49Then she felt sorry for her,
03:51took her out of her room,
03:53brought her downstairs,
03:55and made more fuss than the whole thing put together.
03:57I don't like this.
03:59I don't like that.
04:01I cannot let you go up there.
04:03Your brother is taking a nap.
04:05You can play on the computer later.
04:07But it didn't end there because Lizzie started to kick off.
04:09I'm not watching cartoons. Literally.
04:11No.
04:13Don't kick it.
04:15If you kick it, break it, then we'll never have TV.
04:19Mum tackles discipline with kisses and tickles.
04:25No lesson is taught here.
04:27The children must be incredibly confused
04:30with what Brandy's trying to teach them.
04:32Nothing.
04:34To keep the girls quiet, Mum sent them outside,
04:40and I got a chance to speak to Mum alone.
04:43How much in control are you of their behaviour?
04:47I don't feel that I have any control over their behaviour.
04:51They don't listen to me, and they hit me.
04:55That's embarrassing.
04:57So what's it like when you've got friends around?
05:00We don't really bring friends or anything around.
05:03We don't want them to act out in front of other people.
05:05I just don't want them to think that I'm a bad mum,
05:11and I'm doing something wrong.
05:14That must be very isolating for you, though.
05:17I mean, you're a young mum.
05:18I don't even know who I am anymore.
05:20All I am is a wife and a mum.
05:22That's all. That's all I am.
05:26She's not really enjoying motherhood.
05:28It seems a little bit too overwhelming for her,
05:31and at the moment, she's not in a good place.
05:33And I just don't know what to do, how to change that.
05:37Later on in the day, Mum brought the girls inside,
05:41and I wanted to see what she had planned for them.
05:43But what she had planned was nothing at all.
06:06So do you just clean in the afternoon?
06:08I clean all day.
06:10So it must be hard to do with the children
06:12when you're cleaning all day.
06:13Yeah.
06:14But it has to get done.
06:19Are you bored?
06:22Mum spends a lot of time cleaning the house
06:24instead of focusing her attention on the children.
06:31There's some wonderful games here for Andrew,
06:33but he's not playing with them.
06:35I think Mum has this little voice in the back of her head.
06:37It's like, clean, clean, clean, clean,
06:39because as she was going downstairs,
06:41she'd left the door open.
06:46And Andrew was, like, inches away from a very long staircase.
06:51So I just grabbed him before he took that leak down.
06:55And I just think it's incredibly dangerous
06:57and completely naive of Mum not to recognize
07:00what she needs to do in order to keep Andrew safe.
07:02I get home from work and Joe's at my house.
07:11Hi, Doug.
07:12Nice to meet you.
07:13Nice to meet you.
07:14Hi, Joe.
07:15Hi.
07:16I knew what she can do,
07:17and it was definitely a sign of relief.
07:20Just after I met Doug, he composed himself for a few minutes,
07:23and then he made himself comfortable on the couch.
07:25Sarah, please stop kicking it.
07:34My dad sits on the couch a lot and watches TV.
07:39Why do you want to go play?
07:43The girls were trying desperately to get Dad's attention.
07:47But he wasn't paying any interest at all.
07:49Sarah!
07:51I'm tired.
07:54I'm tired.
07:56I just kept thinking, wake up, Doug.
07:59You've got three children and you haven't seen them all day.
08:02Go get the game and you and Sarah can play.
08:04The girls finally gave up on Dad
08:06and they started to play a game together.
08:08Sarah!
08:09But it turned chaotic.
08:11If you guys are going to fight, I'm just going to throw the game away.
08:14No!
08:15Then stop fighting.
08:17Just play it.
08:18Just play the game.
08:19There's a lot of chaos going on in the living room.
08:21Just put her in time out.
08:22No!
08:23And Dad isn't managing that very well at all.
08:27I work hard.
08:28It's my break time to sit on the couch and not have to deal with life, I guess.
08:34I wanted to find out from Brandy and Doug who did what when it comes to raising their children.
08:43You're both working parents.
08:45Mm-hmm.
08:46But you spend the same amount of time with the children, correct?
08:49Yeah, I would say we spend about the same amount of time with them.
08:52Would you agree with that?
08:53No, I would say I'm with them more.
08:55No, you don't agree with that?
08:56No, she takes them to school and picks them up.
09:00Might be two or three times a month I take them or pick them up.
09:04I'm sorry.
09:05Two or three times a month you take them or pick them up?
09:07My husband is lazy around the house and with the kids.
09:12I take care of everything.
09:13What we're going to have for dinner, doing the grocery shopping.
09:16I take care of bills.
09:17I take care of the kids most of the time.
09:20I feel like the manager of the family, like I'm delegating.
09:23Doug, can you give the kids a bath?
09:25Can you put the kids to bed tonight?
09:27I feel like he doesn't think of this stuff on his own.
09:29My job is a lot more physically demanding.
09:32I'm exhausted when I get home from work.
09:35Is she breathing hard after she prints up a report?
09:38Because I'm breathing hard after I treat a lawn.
09:41And I didn't know she had a problem with it until now.
09:44Whatever! We talk about that all the time.
09:46Actually, we don't.
09:47The pair of them start to argue about how they're raising their children.
09:51I don't get a break.
09:52I don't get to sit on the couch and watch TV.
09:54If I do, it's after the kids go to bed.
09:57It was rather awkward being in the same room with the pair of them
10:01whilst they were pointing the finger at one another
10:03and blaming each other for their situation.
10:06I don't know why we're going round and round and round about this.
10:08And we will.
10:09Mommy!
10:11Does this happen often?
10:13What I'm seeing going on here?
10:15Yes.
10:16Yeah.
10:17She got a pretty good sense of what Brandi and I go through.
10:20A lot of arguing, a lot of bickering back and forth.
10:23Does anything get resolved between the pair of you when you have issues?
10:28No, he just pretends that it didn't happen.
10:33If I didn't do that, it would never be resolved
10:35because you are the most stubborn person I've ever met.
10:38Does anything get resolved?
10:40No.
10:41It's time these two stop running around in circles.
10:49I need to sit Brandi and Doug down and talk about changing this situation.
10:53When I first arrived, I walked into a home that was spick and span.
11:08You provide a lovely home for your three children.
11:13But, you are a young couple.
11:20Where is the enthusiasm and the motivation where it should be?
11:27And that's the children.
11:29There is a complacency there and there is a laziness there.
11:34I don't feel that I'm lazy.
11:36I mean, I'm doing something.
11:38I'm cleaning up something.
11:39Do you hear yourself?
11:41You don't think you're lazy because you're cleaning.
11:45But you're lazy when it comes to dealing with the kids.
11:48Let's talk about discipline.
11:52Who's running this household here?
11:54They are.
11:55We try to put them down for a time out and they just will not sit there.
12:01How do you get them to sit there?
12:03For a start, you recognise that you're the parents in the house.
12:07Lizzy yesterday, Brandy, was misbehaving.
12:11She didn't listen to you.
12:13And you actually went over to her and said,
12:16Come on Lizzy!
12:17And you tickled her.
12:19That's mixed messages.
12:21If she wasn't going to sit in time out, I was just trying to distract her from what she was doing.
12:25That way she would stop misbehaving.
12:28But what you do is set yourself up to fail the pair of you so that when you do go upstairs and try to implement any form of discipline, it spirals out of control to the extent that you've got to hold a door.
12:42Let's talk about the structure of your day.
12:44Yesterday we spent more than 12 hours together with the children.
12:48But what quality time did they actually spend with you doing things where they were stimulated and having fun?
12:57I don't know.
12:59That's sad.
13:02That's really sad.
13:16I love my kids more than anything.
13:20And I don't want to neglect them.
13:23And Brandy, Brandy, I know that you love your kids.
13:30And Doug, I know that you love your kids.
13:34But if you're going to love your kids, then let them see it.
13:40And the way you show your kids that you love them is not just about making sure that they're looked after and fed and watered like a flower.
13:51But to give them you.
13:53Because that's what they want at the end of the day.
13:55They want you to.
13:57Joe made me feel like I don't spend enough time with them and I neglect them.
14:03It hurts me to think that it could be true.
14:06I don't want to neglect my children.
14:08Am I now looking at two parents who are prepared to accept what is going on in this house?
14:14Yeah.
14:15And are now prepared to put the hard work in and let's start changing it?
14:18Yes, please.
14:19Right, okay, let's get started.
14:26The first thing I did was to place up a routine so both parents could take responsibility and know exactly what they are both going to do together.
14:35Let's run through this routine.
14:37Alright, kids are at daycare through to the evening.
14:41But at 4 o'clock, Dad, I want you to pick up the kids from daycare.
14:46Yeah, mom's got a big smile on her face.
14:48That is a big help.
14:50And at 4.30, Dad, you're home with the kids.
14:53My job is very physical.
14:54I like that hour and a half, two hours of peace that I get.
14:58Yeah, so I'm a little uneasy about having to pick the kids up.
15:02Doug stepped up, he picked the girls up from daycare and to make sure he didn't fall straight back onto that couch, I set him and the girls up with some finger paints.
15:18Normally, I would be sitting on the couch right now watching a little bit of TV and barking orders at them while they were playing and things.
15:29And I haven't turned the TV on yet and I, to be quite honest, I don't miss it.
15:36Say bubbles.
15:37Say, I mean, you want to eat it?
15:39Playing with the girls comes easy for Doug.
15:42He's just got to get off that couch.
15:44With what you've learned, you're unable to enjoy this time with him and you're going to have this all the time now because you've been able to put so much into place in your own household where you're now enjoying your parenting.
15:59And just enjoying being a father.
16:02That is really pretty.
16:04You want to put this on the counter and let it dry and I'll take it to work and hang it up.
16:08It felt good to me.
16:09You know, I devoted my time to the kids and not just to the couch, so I proved to myself and the world that I can be a good father.
16:19If I tongue-in-cheek with Brandy, I'd like to say she is definitely Mrs. Mock.
16:24She likes to clean 24-7 and the frustration of not being able to get out that dustpan and brush was getting the better of her.
16:32I'm not very organized today.
16:35You mean you haven't spent so much time cleaning today.
16:38I don't know where anything is today.
16:40That's a good thing.
16:41Joe pretty much told me I cleaned too much, which shocked me.
16:45The house didn't need attention.
16:47The children did.
16:48So I told Brandy to go and find the children and have some fun with them.
16:53Girls, socks and shoes on.
16:55We're going to go outside and swing.
16:57I put the cleaning supplies down.
16:59I spent more time with the kids.
17:01You know something I know you guys would love to do?
17:04What?
17:05Play dress-up with your make-up.
17:07This is the kind of time that mum should be putting into the kids, not the house.
17:11They had a great afternoon.
17:13It looked like a baby!
17:16Tizzy break!
17:22Look at mummy!
17:24Later on, while we were in the kitchen, Lizzie started playing with a fork in her mouth.
17:33Not very safe.
17:34What you don't want Lizzie to do is to be walking around with that in her mouth, okay?
17:38In case an accident happens.
17:39If you put that fork back in your mouth, you will sit in the naughty chair.
17:43And Lizzie didn't listen, so it was time for the naughty chair.
17:47You are sitting on the naughty chair because you did not listen to mummy.
17:52When she told you to take the fork out of your mouth, you're her mother.
17:57And she does as she's told.
17:58Okay.
17:59And if she doesn't listen to you, then there's a consequence that she's going to have to pay.
18:02What Brandy needs to learn is the basics of discipline.
18:06She's never set any boundaries for the girls before.
18:09She's going to do as she's told, mum, because you're going to make a difference tonight.
18:12She got up again and again and again and again.
18:15After the first five minutes, I was worn out, I was tired, I was hot.
18:21Can we turn some air conditioning on in here?
18:24I'm just supposed to keep on and keep on.
18:27What's happening?
18:28It's just going to, I mean, this is going to go on all night.
18:30I don't have the strength and the energy.
18:32Listen to me.
18:33You better find it.
18:34It was really tough for mum.
18:35She's never followed through with discipline.
18:38And I was determined that today, that was going to change.
18:41What?
18:42No.
18:43Don't talk to her.
18:44And she will listen to you and do as she's told.
18:53And Lizzie didn't like it.
18:54Her behaviour escalated.
18:56Do not bite me.
18:59I'm going.
19:00You all right?
19:01I just don't know how much longer I can do this.
19:05You're going to do it for as long as you need to do it.
19:08Why are you going to do that for your kids?
19:09Why?
19:10Because I love them.
19:11Exactly.
19:12Let's go.
19:13Let's go.
19:14Exactly that.
19:15After a two hour struggle, Lizzie finally stayed in the naughty chair for three minutes.
19:28And then mum asked for her apology.
19:30Would you like to tell mommy you're sorry now?
19:33I don't hear.
19:34I think nobody can hear.
19:36I'm sorry.
19:40I see why Joe did it.
19:42It was not about it was just a fork.
19:46It was about being consistent and showing Lizzie who is boss.
19:49I love you.
19:51Mum's really afraid to have people over at the house because of the children's behaviour.
19:56It's going to embarrass her.
19:58So to build up their confidence, I told mum and dad to bring up some friends to arrange
20:03a play date.
20:04Madam, um, question.
20:07Do you and your wife be interested in coming over for a play date?
20:11Children need to learn how to share and how to play with other children.
20:16Hi.
20:17Oh, look at Gracie.
20:18She's gotten so big since we've seen her.
20:23I was excited.
20:24I thought, Joe's here.
20:25You know, we're going to do it right.
20:26We're going to be okay.
20:27Hi, Joe.
20:28Hi.
20:29Nice to meet you.
20:30Hi, madam.
20:31Things were going really smoothly and thought it was going really well and we're going
20:35to be able to do this now.
20:36And then suddenly, Lizzie didn't shake and her behaviour got worse.
20:41We do not kick.
20:42We do not kick.
20:43We do not kick.
20:44When Andrew puts it down, then you can get it back, okay?
20:49No hitting.
20:50Even in company, Mom had to put Lizzie on the naughty chair.
21:02And as if that wasn't enough, Sarah followed suit and Dad had to put Sarah on the naughty
21:08chair too.
21:09You do not pinch me.
21:10We have our friends over and we have to end up putting our kids in the naughty chair.
21:15And I thought, here we go.
21:18The embarrassing part.
21:19And all hell broke loose.
21:28And their behaviour just escalated to the point where they were just swearing.
21:32Now I'm starting to worry about my four-year-old and the dirty words.
21:53This is why we don't have people over.
21:56Because of the way our kids act.
21:57Well, I'm sorry and I really hope that we can do this again.
22:01Oh, we will.
22:02That's fine.
22:03Finally, our friends ended up leaving because they didn't want their son to hear that kind
22:08of language.
22:09Just swearing.
22:10Okay?
22:11It's to get a reaction.
22:12But I stuck with Brandy and Doug and said to them, just keep going.
22:17And they did.
22:18But the timer starts again.
22:21And then they hear you tell me that you're sorry.
22:34Sometimes I don't like to say I'm sorry.
22:38Now I want you to say that you are sorry to Mummy.
22:42Sorry.
22:43For that behaviour.
22:44Sorry.
22:45Today, it didn't go as well as they hoped.
22:48But if Mum and Dad can follow through with the discipline, then playdates are going to get
22:52better for them.
22:53I want to hear you tell me that you're sorry.
22:57Sorry for okay.
22:59Hug and a kiss.
23:00Okay?
23:01Hug and a kiss.
23:02The girls certainly tested their parents today.
23:04But Mum and Dad, they set some boundaries.
23:06So playdates are only going to get better.
23:08Brandy and Doug don't spend enough quality time with their children.
23:15And I think they need to realise that they don't know their children as well as what they
23:20should.
23:21Okay.
23:22I've got you both here because we're going to play a little game.
23:25And this game is how well do you know your children?
23:28Okay.
23:29Question number one.
23:30What is Lizzie's favourite colour?
23:33Blue.
23:34Wrong.
23:35What is your favourite thing to do with Daddy?
23:37And I asked Sarah.
23:38You pushed in the swing.
23:39Wrong.
23:40Wrestle.
23:41Wrestle.
23:42Wrestle.
23:43I bet it was a wrestle.
23:44What is your favourite thing to do with Mummy?
23:47And I asked Lizzie this question.
23:48Help Mummy clean.
23:52You are wrong.
23:57It made a game out of our embarrassing failures as parents.
24:02Next question.
24:03What flavour is Lizzie's favourite ice cream?
24:07Five.
24:08Chocolate.
24:09Yay.
24:10About time.
24:11I thought, oh crap.
24:13We need to really get on the ball and get to know our kids.
24:17Unfortunately, I won't be giving you the answers to the questions.
24:22And for homework, you're going to find out a lot about the girls.
24:26And when I come back, I'm going to ask you some questions again.
24:29Sound good?
24:30Yeah.
24:31Brilliant.
24:35JoJo's going left.
24:36Have a big hug.
24:37Big hug.
24:38See you in a couple of days.
24:39Keep supporting one another.
24:41Alright?
24:42Remember, it's about sticking together.
24:44Okay?
24:45And I will see you when I get back.
24:47I am confident that I can do the techniques that she has taught me.
24:52I am a little nervous.
24:54So, we'll see how it goes.
24:57Bye.
24:58I've given Brandy and Doug a lot of information over the past couple of days.
25:03So, I hope they remember it all and use it.
25:06Strawberries and grapes.
25:08Aww, look.
25:09Mum and Dad are doing the homework I gave them.
25:11Sarah's favourite number is?
25:13100.
25:14Yeah!
25:15The girls are loving this focused attention.
25:19What's Lizzie's favourite snack?
25:21Bananas.
25:22Bananas?
25:23What's your favourite thing to do with Daddy?
25:26Wrestle!
25:27Wrestle!
25:28Now, that's quality time spent with the kids.
25:32Good, Dad.
25:33You're off the couch.
25:34I'm playing with the children.
25:35Oh, no.
25:36Look at Andrew.
25:37Whoa, whoa, whoa.
25:38Andrew's up on the table.
25:39That's not good, is it?
25:40Now, that was a close call.
25:41You've got to keep an eye on him.
25:42Are you on yet?
25:55Alone again.
26:00Doug?
26:01There could be knives in that drawer.
26:07Hi, how are you doing?
26:09Sarah's going to be so excited to see you.
26:12Good for you.
26:13You've invited friends over again for the girls.
26:16Share all of your toys with her.
26:18I know, but what if they hit the wall?
26:21Everybody off the bed!
26:23Go!
26:24Sarah, this is your warning.
26:27This is your warning.
26:29You need to get off the bed.
26:31Mommy asked you to get off the bed.
26:33I don't want to do this now.
26:35Mom, you could have resolved this without using the naughty chair.
26:38It's a bit harsh.
26:39I want to get the naughty chair because I was on the bed.
26:45I want to get to the naughty chair.
26:50She didn't listen to Mommy when Mommy asked her to get off the bed.
26:53No.
26:54Yeah.
26:55We all make mistakes sometimes.
26:57My friends were playing on the bed.
26:59I had to stay on the floor.
27:01Brandy, you've already said that Sarah can't go on the bed.
27:04So why are the other girls on it?
27:06You're being inconsistent.
27:07Here it goes then.
27:11What's your favourite snack?
27:16Strawberry sink with peanut.
27:18What's your favourite thing to do with Daddy?
27:20Wrestle!
27:21Wrestle!
27:22Hey, that is just absolutely delightful to watch.
27:27Well done.
27:28I set you guys this homework and you follow through.
27:31It's brilliant.
27:38You're doing it on top of the table.
27:40You have a lesson in skydiving now.
27:50As soon as I noticed, I ran over to get him.
27:53If you didn't know now, you do have to grow eyes at the back of your head.
27:57And be very aware that you have three children.
28:01Okay?
28:02I know, but what if they hit the wall?
28:05Sarah, this is your warning.
28:07This is your warning.
28:09You need to get off the bed.
28:12If you don't want them to jump on the bed, then all you have to do is say to Sarah,
28:17I don't mind you and the girls sitting on the bed, but please no jumping.
28:21And walk out the room and allow them to have fun together.
28:26But more to the point, you then become naughty chair happy.
28:31It's not so effective.
28:33Because Mum and Dad put me in the naughty chair for the most silliest of things.
28:38I don't think Joe thought we did as well as we thought we did.
28:43There were some areas that definitely need improvement that she was able to point out.
28:48Are we ready to move on to the next stage?
28:50Yeah.
28:51Great.
28:52I'm very excited to do so.
28:53Let's go then.
28:54Brandy came out of the DVD session a little unclear of when she should and shouldn't use the naughty chair.
29:01I am just having trouble, I guess, judging what deserves a naughty chair and what doesn't.
29:08A lot of situations can be resolved without using the naughty chair.
29:11And that's what I'm going to show Brandy today.
29:13Okay.
29:14So, Brandy, what's going to happen now is you're going to teach the children how to share the stencils together between them.
29:21All right?
29:22Mom and the girls in the playroom, one table, two children, two pieces of paper.
29:28Put your paper up here.
29:29Put your paper up here.
29:30Lizzie, if you want to do the stencils with Sarah, you need to stop your temper tantrum and you can come to the table and we can do stencils and we will have fun.
29:41Mom's instincts were correct.
29:43She's looking to resolve the situation without using the naughty chair.
29:46I honestly don't know what to do because if you put both of these papers down like I did, that should be fine.
29:54Right?
29:55Look.
29:56Look.
29:57Watch.
29:58Like what?
29:59Exactly, Sarah.
30:00Sarah recognizes what needs to happen and she very smartly moves the table around so that each child can have an end of the table.
30:10Fantastic.
30:11How smart is that?
30:12But mom should have thought of that too.
30:14There you go.
30:15Look at that.
30:16I didn't even think of that and Sarah did.
30:19She's so smart.
30:20Good job, Sarah.
30:21Well, that was figured out but I wanted to give Brandy a little test to see how she would do in other situations.
30:28The children are playing, you've got another five kids here and all of a sudden they're taking the pictures.
30:35There we go.
30:36And you walk up and you go, where's all the pictures gone?
30:39Naughty chair or not?
30:40Quick thinking.
30:41No.
30:42You wouldn't give a naughty chair because, okay, they've taken the pictures off the wall but they're not being destructive.
30:49This is no big deal.
30:50Okay.
30:51If they were writing on the wall or if they were, give me an example.
30:56Fighting.
30:57Then you would deal with it appropriately.
30:59Okay?
31:00Okay, let's go down to the next one.
31:02They took me through two different rooms and gave me different scenarios.
31:06It's cuddle time, quiet time where you're reading and you've got the girls snuggled up to you either side and Andrew's right on your lap.
31:14And as you're reading a story, you give another book to Andrew.
31:21And Sarah keeps snatching that book off of Andrew.
31:24What do you do?
31:25Naughty chair or not?
31:26No.
31:27No.
31:28Naughty chair.
31:29That does warrant a warning.
31:31Okay.
31:32Because they're not sharing.
31:33What's the lesson you're trying to teach your children?
31:36Sharing.
31:37Exactly.
31:38All right, let's move on to the next one.
31:39Okay.
31:40We're sitting down and we're having lunch and Andrew's having a field day.
31:44His hands are going in the milk and he's looking at it and he's spidging around on his plate.
31:50Naughty chair or not?
31:51For Andrew?
31:52Yeah.
31:53No.
31:54You did get that one right, okay, with Andrew because of his age.
31:59Brandy caught on and I think she's started to see the bigger picture.
32:03So now she won't be so naughty chair trigger happy.
32:06So remember, it's about being in control of a situation and not controlling your children.
32:11And that's a big life lesson.
32:13Being left on our own brought up a lot of new questions and Joe's reinforcement is definitely helping with that.
32:22There's one rule for the parents in being able to come to a coffee house and chill.
32:27Talk about yourselves and anything else but the children.
32:31Nice.
32:32You look really pretty.
32:34Elizabeth!
32:35I'd like to see a movie.
32:51Too soon.
32:52Are we only allowed out, what, every six months?
32:57Babysitter's not going to want to babysit all the time.
33:04I was overwhelmed.
33:05And I didn't know how Doug and Brandy was going to react.
33:07And I didn't want them to be mad at me.
33:15So you guys ready?
33:16We better get back, right?
33:17Yeah.
33:18Tea time with the kids and stuff.
33:19Little did we know, while our parents were out, that Lizzie was making the babysitter's life hell.
33:31Hey, what's going on?
33:33When we came home, I immediately felt like I shouldn't have went out.
33:37Like, I had failed in my job as a parent and given that job to somebody else to take care of, when I should have been the one doing that.
33:49This is why we don't go out and leave the kids with the babysitter.
33:54Explain what's happening so that we can deal with this situation.
33:58Oh, my word.
33:59I just felt so, so sorry for Deanna and what she'd gone through.
34:05She's pinched Andrew, she has bit him, she's bit me, she has bit Sarah.
34:09I'm sure Lizzie thought that she got away with her behaviour.
34:12Fat chance.
34:13I wasn't letting her off the hook.
34:15That is absolutely appalling.
34:17You are on the naughty chair.
34:19Stay calm.
34:20Because you behaved naughty while we had a babysitter.
34:24Brandy was very concerned with the thought that maybe Lizzie was regressing and behaving worse.
34:32What she's done is, she's seen Deanna and she's thought,
34:35Oh, I'm going to try now and see if Deanna's going to take this.
34:38Or whether she's going to put me on the naughty chair.
34:40Jo definitely put my mind at ease.
34:43She let me know that no, this is just a new situation.
34:47And Lizzie was testing if mom would follow through because it happened with the babysitter.
34:52Say that you're sorry.
34:54Sorry.
34:55For a woman who never even implemented discipline in her house,
34:58I'm really impressed that Brandy has got the confidence now to follow through with the naughty chair.
35:04She's doing fantastic.
35:05You fought Deanna.
35:07You didn't listen to her.
35:10You need to tell her you're sorry for that.
35:12For your behaviour.
35:13For your behaviour.
35:15Sorry.
35:16I accept your apology.
35:18But now, no more misbehaviour like that.
35:20I.
35:21Speak for I.
35:22I will not talk about that behaviour.
35:23I will not have any more behaviour like that.
35:26So can I have a big hug because JoJo's going home now.
35:38I wish JoJo could stay forever.
35:41Remember, no hurting one another.
35:43Okay?
35:44Play nicely together.
35:45We kiss and hug our sisters.
35:49Yes.
35:50Exactly.
35:51And you need to do that with your brother and everybody else.
35:54Come by, sweetie.
35:56For two young parents who didn't know where to turn and didn't know what to do,
36:01have learnt a lot.
36:03Keep communicating.
36:04Get out as a couple.
36:06But at the same time, I want to see you spending that quality time with your family.
36:11Let me give you a big hug.
36:13Brandy.
36:14Listen, you take care, okay?
36:17Thank you so much.
36:18You are welcome.
36:20I owe Jo everything.
36:23She has changed our life.
36:26Take care.
36:27Take care.
36:28You are welcome.
36:29I was really worried about whether or not her techniques were going to work on our family
36:33in particular, but they really have and I'm really grateful for that.
36:37Take care, bye-bye.
36:38Bye.
36:39I leave this house feeling very satisfied that I've been able to make two young parents
36:44a lot wiser over a short period of time.
36:58See that one.
36:59My whole family life has changed.
37:01Our household is happy and things have improved so much.
37:05Every day is better than the day before.
37:08Okay, hold your arms up like this.
37:09Joe made me realize that the family I wanted was here all the time.
37:14It was a baby.
37:15Doug and I work together and we actually have house rules now.
37:21Look!
37:22Look!
37:23The girls are sharing and they do as they're told.
37:27Andrew, you picked the lamb.
37:28It's like a big bull.
37:29Good job, Andrew!
37:30We're not kids raising kids any longer.
37:34We are two adults that have put our foot down and decided that we are in control of the situations
37:44that go on in the house.
37:46I am looking forward to the future and I am looking forward to being the kind of dad that
37:50my kids deserve to have.
37:51Look!
37:52See how they have to come.
37:53My mommy and daddy play with me more.
37:57My kids are sharing.
37:59They're saying please.
38:00They're saying excuse me.
38:02It's great.
38:03She goes.
38:04I have the family that I've always dreamed of having.
38:07Oh, wow.
38:08I'm looking forward to raising awesome kids.
Recomendado
38:43
|
A Seguir
43:05