- há 5 meses
Rich & Lisa have a hard time balancing their work & home lives and Lisa admits that the kids run the house. Can Jo help this family get control of their household?
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00:00Hi, we're the Banjani family.
00:02I'm Lisa.
00:03I'm Rich.
00:04We have three children.
00:05Cameron and Zoe, who are twins that are five years old,
00:08and Blake, who is three.
00:15Blake is very angry.
00:18He just doesn't understand no.
00:25Blake loves to play with girls' clothes.
00:27Leave it down. That's for girls.
00:29It bothers Richie a lot.
00:31But I'd rather him play with a truck.
00:33Blake, this is Zoe's stuff.
00:35What am I supposed to do?
00:36Yell at him because he likes to play with what he likes to play with?
00:38But you do.
00:39Zoe is an angel, but when she doesn't get her way...
00:45You just don't take stuff all day long.
00:47Yeah, give me that, Blake.
00:49She is the total opposite.
00:53Burr, come on.
00:55We are also growing a family cookie business.
00:58We stopped making the milk chocolate with the sprinkles.
01:03All right, all right, you're welcome here.
01:05So I'm checking my emails.
01:07You know, fulfill orders.
01:11Guys.
01:12And they're just fighting.
01:15Blake and Cameron fight like they're two men in a bar fight.
01:19Richie's very passive with everything.
01:23Blake!
01:28Ah!
01:29Lisa's answer is no to everything.
01:32No, you cannot have a toy.
01:34No more.
01:35Zoe, get up so they don't do that to you.
01:36No!
01:37Some things have to be yes.
01:38Look at mom and dad.
01:39They're not working together at all.
01:41She says black, he says white.
01:43Yeah.
01:44I feel like if we don't gain control now...
01:47Then what's going to happen in five years from now?
01:53That's...
01:54That actually scares me.
01:56Don't even think about it.
01:58Ah!
01:59Please!
02:00Cameron!
02:01Please, please!
02:04You know, to have a successful business, you gotta make sacrifices.
02:07But not at the expense of your kids.
02:10We're totally at a loss for what to do.
02:11We don't know what to go next.
02:13Why are you kidding?
02:15Supernanny.
02:16Supernanny, come to our house.
02:18We need you to rescue our family.
02:20Looks like this family have called for me just in time.
02:23I'm on my way.
02:29Oh, who's here, Cameron?
02:37Hello.
02:38Hi.
02:39Pleased to meet you.
02:40I'm Joe.
02:41I'm Richie, how are you?
02:42When the doorbell rang and Joe stepped into my house, I said,
02:45okay, what is she going to do first?
02:47Hi.
02:48Pleased to meet you, Lisa.
02:49Pleased to meet you.
02:50I was a little nervous.
02:52So, this is your brood.
02:54Yes.
02:55All of them.
02:56So, what I will do is start off by really just watching you guys today
03:00and just seeing what you normally do in your daily routine
03:03so that I can get a good idea of what needs to be tackled first.
03:07Mama's been given an opportunity to start a new business,
03:10so I really was excited and wanted to see her actually make these cookies.
03:14Ah, so, this is the famous business.
03:17Yes.
03:18This is what keeps you busy.
03:19So, you're baking here.
03:20You're actually cooking from here.
03:21Everything is coming here.
03:22This is your factory as such.
03:23Everything is coming here.
03:24Perfect.
03:25When you're at home, how do you juggle the kids and the work?
03:29That's what I can't handle anymore.
03:31I don't know.
03:32I'm definitely losing control of my family life now that I have so much work.
03:37There's over 20 million home-based businesses and it has become increasingly more challenging
03:43for parents to run a business and balance home life.
03:47At the moment, Mom's either busy baking cookies, packaging, answering emails, answering the phone.
03:54Hello.
03:55Lucky for Mom, Dad's home a couple of days a week to help out as much as he can with the cookie business.
04:00But most of the time, she's alone.
04:02And with three small children, no wonder it's overwhelming.
04:05You did a great job helping you just erase this on the box.
04:12You've got a lot going on.
04:14You've got a lot going on.
04:16It's gotten really better.
04:17You know, I'm losing control.
04:19My children are running the household.
04:21Give it.
04:22Get.
04:23Now, get out of here.
04:24Get.
04:25No, forget it.
04:26You're not giving it to them.
04:27You lost your chance.
04:28Stop.
04:31Now.
04:32I don't think so.
04:34Bite me again like that and you're getting soapy.
04:36On the back.
04:37Stop.
04:38Stop it.
04:39Yeah, you just bit me very hard, though.
04:41You made me bleed.
04:43Blake.
04:44What's this?
04:47This is an everyday occurrence.
04:49And he kept trying to bite me as he bit me once.
04:52The business has just taken over family life.
04:55Blake is doing everything he possibly can to get his mom's attention.
04:58No, you can't spill it, Blake!
05:03Put them back in.
05:04You can't play.
05:05Come on.
05:06Come on.
05:07Come here.
05:08Blake, don't bite.
05:10Blake is a terror.
05:14He bites.
05:16He hits.
05:17He's out of control.
05:18That's it.
05:19Blake, I'm putting you upstairs.
05:20Come on.
05:21Come on.
05:24That's it.
05:25Stay in here.
05:27Don't bite, Blake.
05:28Blake.
05:29Go back in your bed.
05:31Blake, you're not going down until you learn to behave.
05:39Why are you yelling?
05:41Tell me what you did wrong and then maybe we could go downstairs.
05:44That's it.
05:46Goodbye.
05:47I see a little boy who has consoled himself and needs his mother's time and needs to have a relationship with her.
05:59Seems like business has taken over everything.
06:02Blake.
06:09Later on, whilst mum was doing business, Blake was nowhere to be found.
06:13So I went upstairs to see if I could find him.
06:19Blake!
06:21Not out.
06:23Go put that away, Blake.
06:25Daddy's going to be so sad.
06:27Why would daddy be cross?
06:28Richie gets very upset when he plays with Zoe's dolls and bags.
06:32Why?
06:33Because he used to dress up.
06:34He wants him to play with boy, you know, boy toys instead of girl toys.
06:38It just really bothers him.
06:40It's not a problem for me so much.
06:42Blake likes to play with his older sister.
06:44He dresses up just like she dresses up.
06:47However, he likes to dress up in his little clippity cloppity shoes and have his handbag over his shoulder.
06:51And dad's horrified by that.
06:54He's just so scared that his son is going to grow up wearing dresses.
06:59I don't know too many fathers out there that would say, you know, yeah, okay.
07:04I would love my son to, you know, play with dresses rather than play with the tool bench, trucks or whatever it may be.
07:09It's really, really common to worry about that.
07:11But Richard needs to realize it's just kids playing.
07:14I mean, you know, they're having fun just dressing up in big people's clothes.
07:17Later on, whilst mum was running the business, it was left up to dad to give the kids snacks.
07:23And it was certainly clear they weren't just hungry for food, but they were hungry for attention too.
07:28You're not having candy, there is none.
07:30You're not having candy, forget about it.
07:33I'll give you one piece.
07:35Two pieces.
07:37Snack time at my house is all day long.
07:39Constantly they go into cabinets, they take out snacks and drinks and they want to go in the refrigerator and they want to eat all day.
07:45No, we're not having that again.
07:46Yes.
07:47There's no more.
07:48Yes.
07:50There's no more.
07:52They're driving me crazy right now.
07:53I don't want to eat.
07:55Cam, what part did you understand?
07:58I don't want to eat.
07:59I don't want to eat.
08:00I don't want to eat.
08:01I don't want to eat.
08:03Come on, everybody inside.
08:04Now no one's getting nothing.
08:06No.
08:07Close the refrigerator.
08:09Back there.
08:11Put it back.
08:13I don't want to eat.
08:16And you're not getting anything if you speak to me that way.
08:19No.
08:21We'll start over.
08:22Cameron and Zoe, when they misbehave they have total meltdowns and they start to scream and they stamp their feet.
08:28And it really in a way is like watching a two year old.
08:33So we're not eating mashed potatoes now.
08:36No, we're not having mashed potatoes.
08:38Is that enough?
08:41What's that?
08:42Mashed potatoes.
08:44First Dad says no mashed potatoes.
08:46Then he's scooping out a whole mountain of mashed potatoes.
08:49I mean, nice Dad.
08:51Nice message.
08:52These kids know that if they cry long enough, they'll get what they want.
08:56I want two pieces.
08:57Two pieces of what?
08:59Okay.
09:01After watching Dad clearly give the kids what they wanted,
09:04it was obvious to me that I needed to get Mum and Dad on the same page so we could sort out discipline.
09:08The first thing that I really want to establish with the pair of you is the juggling.
09:17The business and the family.
09:20There's no structure that allows the pair of you together to say,
09:24right, this is business time and now this is family time.
09:28You've got to have some boundaries because you do have three little ones that need you.
09:32They're looking for the security and the stability in the repetition that happens during the day.
09:37They have no stability because we're always all over the place.
09:40They're darting around all the time.
09:42Mm-hmm.
09:43But they don't know whether they're coming or going.
09:45The second thing that I do want to talk to you both about is your relationship together as business partners and as parents.
09:53There's no clear communication between the pair of you and how you run the business and what that does is it trickles into the family.
09:59Mm-hmm.
10:00As parents don't compromise.
10:02Right. I'm very strict. I'm the no person.
10:04And the way that you both behave, which is so differently, I mean, it's like watching a movie for these kids.
10:11I mean, you know, which picture house are we going to go into?
10:14Or, you know, should we go and see the horror movie or should we go and see Disneyland?
10:17Mm-hmm.
10:18It's giving them mixed messages.
10:20You can either be the parent that your kids remember when they grow up as the one that was in there doing it with them.
10:27You know, the one that had their arms wrapped around them because they were holding on to the fishing rod as well.
10:32Or you're the parent that just always sat at the side.
10:34I want to be there. I want to be in there.
10:36What do you feel about Richie?
10:38I feel that you are just too easygoing with them and allow them to do whatever they want.
10:45And there's no rules with you, even if I have the rules.
10:49I don't have a problem with rules. I just have a problem with, you know, they're your rules. They're not our rules.
10:54Right, okay.
10:55And we have to establish those rules, not you establish and I have to abide by them, like, as if you have four children.
11:01I think it's important, Richie, for you to be able to make sure that you're not demasculated here.
11:07And I mean that in a way that allows you both to feel like you can have your place and your role and not feel like you're wearing the trousers all the time and not feeling like you're being stripped of anything that you want to do equally in your own home with your kids.
11:22This all leads to my next point, which is how the children behave.
11:28Behaviour is shocking in the house.
11:30We see with Blake, punching, biting. And when he does that, he's picked up and yelled at, but still, you've got him there.
11:42You're still holding him and pacifying him. And what that leads to is a regression.
11:47I look at Blake and I'm like, he's three years old. And actually when he's with the pair of you, it's like he's a baby. He talks like a baby.
11:54He talks like that. All the while while that's happening, who do you think is having a meltdown if things don't go their way?
12:03Cameron and Zoe.
12:04Cameron and Zoe.
12:05Oh yeah. Because at this stage, what they're not getting is the emotional input that they need from their parents.
12:12They're being starved of that emotional input because everything is going into the business. Everything.
12:16But what are they getting? What are they drawing back?
12:18No.
12:19And then we get to the next bit. I'm bored. So what am I going to do? I'll snack. I want a cookie. I want this. I want that.
12:27But then what happens when you then want to go to a restaurant and you want to sit down and you want to have a meal?
12:32They're not hungry.
12:33They're over it. Been eating all day. What you're losing out there, again, is the time we sit down as a family. Madness.
12:42Talking about madness, your kids like to have fun with clothes and dress up and play.
12:50They'll put shoes on and they'll clippity-clop and they'll put bags over and they'll play mini adults.
12:55But that wraps you up the wrong way, doesn't it, Richie?
12:59Completely.
13:00I don't want to dress up in girls' clothes.
13:03Because what? Because you're scared he's going to grow up as a transvestite?
13:06Because you think he's going to grow up.
13:07Maybe.
13:08And he wants to put stuff on. It's dress up. That's all it is. It's dress up.
13:13Okay? Come on, we've got to get a grip there.
13:16Okay.
13:17So, there are a lot of points here that have been made at the table with regards to what we need to work on.
13:24You have a wonderful future ahead with regards to where you can be with your family.
13:32But you need to put in the groundwork now.
13:34You've already shown me your commitment to your cookie company, so now I want to sit with your family.
13:39Okay.
13:40You will.
13:41Alright, so let's get on with it, right?
13:42Yes.
13:43Okay.
13:44No rest for the wicked. Let's go.
13:45Okay.
13:46Like a lot of families, the Banjani family seek to find a balance between running a business and home life.
13:59But I feel they need to realise what happens when they just put too much on their plate.
14:03So I came up with a visual way of being able to show them what's really at stake.
14:07Mummy and Daddy have a very special act to show us, okay? It's the juggling act.
14:14So, what we're going to start off with is kids. Mum, start juggling the ball.
14:18Oh, look! What have we got here? We've got family time!
14:21Keep juggling!
14:23Cookies, Mum! Oh, this one's yours!
14:27Where'd it go? Keep juggling!
14:28Fast, fast, fast! Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going!
14:31Oh, what have we dropped here?
14:33Oh, look! What's this, kids? What's dropped here? Family time!
14:37Oh, that has been dropped, hasn't it?
14:40Being a parent, working, it's, you know, hard juggling all of it at one time.
14:47This juggling act was a disaster. They didn't do very well, did they?
14:52No! No! But we want you focused on your priority.
14:57And your priority right now is your cooking business and your family, alright?
15:01And that's what we're going to move on next, okay?
15:03I think we all strive to find balance in one way or another.
15:06And this family are striving to find balance between the new company that they've started at home and their family life.
15:15Here is what you see, the cookie routine.
15:19In order to bring more balance into the Bajani household, I'm going to give them a cookie routine that will make sure that they spend time running the business, but equally time with their family.
15:31I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to stand here and I'm going to represent your three children. They want you too.
15:38Right.
15:41Seven days is just too much.
15:43Seven days is just too much? Okay.
15:45Your children want you too.
15:46So then I guess we'll have to work it in where we only do the weekends and then maybe we could split those days and then we'll have more time with the children.
15:53When Jo suggested to balance out our lives, make everything equal, the cookie business to children, she was 100% right.
16:00And my children will get a really nice benefit out of the cookie routine because they now have more time with mommy and daddy.
16:09I'd like to say well done to the pair of you because this is probably one of the most challenging schedules that I've done working with a family in the four years that I've been here in America helping families.
16:20The cookie routine I'm very committed to. It's going to make life a lot easier.
16:24After posting up a routine that allowed the children to have two extra days with their parents a week, it was now on to the next issue.
16:33Some families have businesses where they can close the door on their office. In this case, the Bajanis work from their kitchen and the kids are constantly in there causing havoc.
16:43So that's why I invented baking time.
16:46We do want to create some space so that there is a divide between when you're doing your cookies and you've not got the interference of the kids and we're setting up a boundary.
16:54All right, what we can do is put down a little bit of tape so that it visually reinforces that.
16:59OK. We've got some scissors.
17:04Baking time is a great idea because we put up this piece of tape and there's also a sign that will tell them, you know, Cameron, Zoe and Blake, please stay out.
17:13And when we explain, they really caught on quickly.
17:17When I'm baking and I'm putting the cookies in their boxes, you guys can't come in here.
17:23This is going to be our line so that you know, oh, mommy and daddy are working.
17:27OK, so then when mommy's making cookies in here, where are you going to stay?
17:32Very good.
17:33In the big space.
17:36The kids spend a lot of time arguing about what they want to eat that's in the cupboards.
17:41So that's why I came up with a snack box technique.
17:44These boxes are for you to decorate.
17:48What we are going to do afterwards when they're dry is we're going to choose two snacks and a piece of fruit to put into our snack box so that every day when it's snack time, we take it out of our own box.
18:02When Joe first came in, I wasn't sure what she was doing.
18:04When she pulled out the boxes and she told us what they were, it was, it's a great idea.
18:08So help yourselves then.
18:09OK, take a look at the paints.
18:11Are these washable paints?
18:12Yes.
18:13They were washable paints.
18:14No, no, no, no.
18:15Cameron, Cameron.
18:16No more, Blake.
18:17Blake, I'm sorry.
18:18The kids started to paint their snack boxes and as the fingers got all messy, mom's face started to cringe.
18:30Wait.
18:31Zoe.
18:32OK, careful.
18:33OK, OK, OK.
18:34OK.
18:35When they started painting, Blake took the paint and he was putting globs of paint.
18:41I'm like, all right, enough.
18:42You're having a panic attack here, aren't you?
18:45You're like, oh my god, when is it going to be finished?
18:47I have to admit, I never do this with them because I just, I can't stand it.
18:51I can't stand the mess.
18:52I can't stand when it gets in their nails.
18:54Mom's hands-on when it comes to making cookies, but when it comes to being hands-on with the kids, she doesn't like these to get messy.
19:01Oh, Cameron, I love your blue box.
19:04Woo!
19:05Woo!
19:06What I think we should do is come and choose the snacks that you're going to put in them.
19:10The children, they're giving a lot of sweet things and cookie and candy and, of course, that's going to spike children's blood sugar levels.
19:17So now they get one piece of fruit and two other snacks a day.
19:21She is the apple.
19:24What have you chose?
19:25Apple, a bar and a packet.
19:27OK.
19:28The snack box will help mom and dad really eliminate the constant battling over snack time.
19:33You're going to put your snacks into your snack boxes and then mommy and daddy are going to tell you when snack time is so you can lift up your box and then eat one of the snacks that are in there, OK?
19:43So, I'm going to give yourself a clap.
19:44Well done!
19:45Bye!
19:46You all did really, really well.
19:48Mom and dad have made progress, but they still are not working as a team, so I've come up with an exercise that's going to leave them no other choice.
20:00So, what I'd like to do now is to give you my next technique.
20:03Now, it's not a magic show, but what I'm going to do is join you at the hip here.
20:07I'm sure there's a gene hoop somewhere.
20:09I thought I'd just tie them together literally by the hip and suggest to them that they place their hands in each other's back pockets and really go about their daily chores.
20:21I think what we could do is pack some cookies and let's get some cookie work done.
20:27Everything about the activity was really difficult because we had one hand each, and I'm all righty, and I had to use my left, so he had to be my right hand, you know?
20:37That's it, perfect.
20:38But it actually felt good.
20:39We were close.
20:40We were having a good time together.
20:41We were laughing, working, and laughing.
20:44Duh-uh!
20:45Cheating!
20:46It's obvious we could work together.
20:48I mean, communicating a little bit better and both know that, you know, we're on the same page.
20:53You can take your hands out your back pockets, and you can untie yourselves together.
20:58I kind of like it like this.
21:00You're doing good!
21:01Mom and dad working together is one thing.
21:06But in order to change the dynamics in this household, it's going to be a different story to see if they can work together when it comes to discipline.
21:13When the kids are doing something that you know is breaking a rule, bring them straight to one of the cubes and explain why you've put them on here.
21:22It's one minute per age of the child, and I want you to work together doing that.
21:26Okay.
21:27As soon as I finished explaining the technique, Blake started to play up.
21:31Okay, Blake.
21:32And surprisingly enough, he sat on that cube and he did his discipline.
21:38It was Zoe who surprised everyone because she took a swing at her brother.
21:44Mmm, mommy's little angel.
21:46So, because you didn't apologize to your brother and you didn't listen to daddy, you're going in a timeout.
21:53You have to sit on there for five minutes.
21:55Dad, she's your daughter. She's disrespecting you. Put her back on there. Okay?
22:01Before, we would always give in to get her to stop crying. And this is the reason why we're in this mess.
22:08When you put her down, move away. Every time she gets off, you're going to put her back.
22:14Zoe wasn't going down without a fight. And mum and dad were being tested. It was either going to make them or break them.
22:21They were either going to work as a team or little Zoe was going to drive them apart.
22:26She tried everything to get us to breathe.
22:33I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm bleeding.
22:38Let me see. Where are you bleeding? You're not bleeding. Come on.
22:43I'm thirsty.
22:46Do not let her get a drink. Do not let her get anything to eat.
22:50Zoe, she can change this by doing as she's told. I'm bleeding. I'm tired. I'm thirsty.
22:57She really pulled every string. Mum really started to feel a little bit sad.
23:05You feel sad because you're disciplining your child, because you're teaching her what's right or wrong.
23:10You know what? She's learning the hard way, but so are you guys learning the hard way as well.
23:14Okay, so straight back on that cube because she's moved away from it.
23:17Do you want her to realise you've got rules that she needs to do as she's told?
23:22I don't believe that either Lisa or Richie have ever seen Zoe behave like this because they give in. They let Zoe have what she wants.
23:50Before when she's done this, you've just given in and gone, oh, let her get on with it.
23:53So tonight, she needs you not to give up on her. She needs rules. She needs boundaries. She's counting on you.
23:59Joe pretty much said, are you ready to give up? And I guess she was trying to see how far I was willing to go.
24:06I mean, you have to stick to your guns as much as it hurts.
24:09Leah, I really don't know where she went.
24:11No.
24:20She wanted her way. She wanted to show me that she was not going in that time out.
24:24It was either heartbreaking or myself and Lisa breaking.
24:27Zoe's refusal to do punishment was a long struggle. In fact, three and a half hours.
24:34But mom and dad stuck together and prevailed.
24:37So do you know the reason why we put you on there? We put you on there.
24:40We put you on the queue.
24:41Because you hit Blake and you wouldn't say sorry. Apologize to mommy and daddy.
24:44Are you sorry to mommy?
24:46I'm sorry.
24:48Okay, give me a hug.
24:51Richie and I worked as a team and it felt great. We supported one another.
24:55Give daddy a hug. Come here. I want to give you a hug.
24:57Obviously, we see that it works and this is something that has to be done.
25:01And Lisa and I are both on the same page with it.
25:10With mom and dad feeling more comfortable about doing discipline together,
25:14it was now time to deal with dad feeling uncomfortable with Blake dressing up in girls' clothes.
25:20Jim, what is this for, Jim?
25:22What's that?
25:25What's that?
25:26I don't know. What's in there?
25:27This!
25:28Do I want Blake to play with baby dolls?
25:30Do I want her to dress up in a dress? No.
25:32What have we got here?
25:35You're a bumblebee?
25:37Seriously?
25:38No, seriously. Do you know what it is?
25:40It's just been fun. It's just been silly.
25:42A rock star.
25:44Rock star?
25:45They do look like a rock star.
25:46Actually, you need a guitar.
25:47If Blake sees dad dressing up and having fun,
25:49then he'll realize that it's okay to do so that he doesn't feel ashamed
25:53and have to go into the closet to do that.
25:57I like to play with kids.
26:00You know, the principle of all of this is,
26:02we want Blake feeling like he's got to hide in a closet
26:05because he decides he wants to play with something that's really,
26:07you know, stereotypically, what, female or male?
26:10Just, you know, for kids, it's just about playing dress up.
26:13Okay, you know what? I'll ease off on it a little bit.
26:16I don't want him to have to hide to play with something.
26:18I'd rather him do it in front of me and know that he could do it in front of me.
26:27Hey, listen. Guys, I'm going.
26:30JoJo's going for a few days.
26:32You know, Lisa and Richie know what hard work is.
26:34So that same energy that they've been putting into expanding their cookie business,
26:39I now want to see spent on their own family.
26:41Please work on balance.
26:44I can't emphasize this anymore.
26:47It is all about balance.
26:49Zoe will definitely test us while Jo's away.
26:52I want to make sure everything stays on track.
26:54In sync the pair of you.
26:56If it means you've got to go back to putting your hands in your pockets, do it.
26:59Do we want to see her go, I mean, and have to do this on our own?
27:01No, but it's something that we need to do.
27:03It's our family and everyone will try to stick to it.
27:06Bye-bye.
27:07Both Lisa and Richie, you know, are smart people.
27:10They know what they need to do.
27:12Now the techniques are in the house.
27:14What are they going to do?
27:21It's been four days since I've seen Lisa and Richie,
27:24and I'm excited to see exactly what's been going on whilst I've not been there.
27:28How are you both? Good.
27:30So, are we feeling good about watching this DVD?
27:36So-so.
27:37Oh, you both went like this.
27:39It's a bit telling.
27:40Well, we have a lot of questions for you, so...
27:42Let's take a look at it then.
27:44I put the tape down, and I'm putting the sign up.
27:48What does the sign say?
27:49Telling the buttons on the tape out.
27:52Excellent.
28:00OK, guys, the sign's coming.
28:05Woo!
28:06Down.
28:08That went really, really well.
28:09You were able to bake your cookies and get the business done.
28:13The kids took really well to it.
28:16What we're going to look at now is Blake's dress-up here.
28:32Hi, guys.
28:33Gym teacher and my gym.
28:35You're going to pack them?
28:37You're going to pack them?
28:38Oh, I love him.
28:40Look, with his little bag over his shoulder.
28:42In Spanish, you wrote?
28:44Dad, that was really sweet.
28:47Just sweet that you're just, you know, in there, involved with the kids,
28:51and you're just hanging out with them.
28:53I did not feel that.
28:55He just seemed really...
28:56Yeah, no, he's comfortable.
28:57He just feels like he can do whatever he wants.
29:02We have a tart in here.
29:03Do you want that or a rice cake?
29:05No.
29:06OK.
29:07You can save this one for later, because we never put the rice cake in there.
29:14Go sit.
29:16Whoopsie.
29:20Daddy's bringing home dinner now.
29:22You want a piece of chicken that Mommy made last night?
29:25I want a piece of chicken.
29:26A bit?
29:27Should Mommy take one too?
29:29Hi!
29:30How was it?
29:31Good.
29:32Yeah?
29:34Blake, where are you?
29:35It's dinner time.
29:36Sit with us.
29:37OK, this is...
29:38Ready, Blake?
29:39If you're not in your seat, then it's a warning.
29:41Sit down if you're having one more bite.
29:43OK, that's it.
29:45You said that you were done?
29:47That's it.
29:49OK.
29:50Let's look at what you're doing here, all right?
29:52Because this is all messed up.
29:54OK.
29:55It really is messed up.
29:56The snack box was given to the children so that it would visually be a representation
30:01of how many snacks they have during the day.
30:03You can't even use the box as reference.
30:06And then your old behaviour habits kick in because they go straight to the cupboard.
30:10And then we go into the fridge and we eat ten minutes before pizza.
30:13This is what you do every time you make the choice, the pair of you, to slack.
30:19OK.
30:20Because really it's about discipline.
30:22I don't like them playing with paint, clay, anything messy like this.
30:29Why don't we like them playing with clay?
30:32Because the clay is not easy to clean up.
30:35So it gets stuck in the floor.
30:37It gets over.
30:38That's why I chose to play outside.
30:40If you look at Cameron's shirt, it's all over his shirt.
30:44And clay doesn't really come out very easily.
30:47So it's just a mess.
30:49I know, it's a little bit, but it doesn't matter because...
30:53That's speck!
30:54Yeah.
30:55But when it gets hard and sticky, it doesn't come out.
30:57I can tell you for a fact.
31:00It does come out, Lisa.
31:01Seriously.
31:02It comes out, but...
31:03Why don't you sit down and do it?
31:08See, this is a mess we don't like.
31:10We need to really work on this.
31:14OK.
31:15You know, kids do get dirty fingernails, you know?
31:18We get a nail brush and we scrub them in the bath.
31:20OK.
31:21You know?
31:24Rich, don't stop counting because she's pushing it away.
31:26OK.
31:27Blake, Blake, you have to go away.
31:28Zoe's in a time out.
31:30Blake!
31:32You don't hit your brother.
31:36You don't hit anyone.
31:38I should have said it once.
31:39Again.
31:40You're just phasing into it.
31:49You don't touch your mommy.
31:50That's it.
31:54Lisa, don't even talk to her.
31:55Don't?
31:56It doesn't matter where she stands if she's going to act that way.
31:58So she can stand there all night long.
32:02Rich.
32:03What?
32:05Now I'm starting.
32:09OK.
32:11So what I'm not seeing is consistency.
32:13I'm not seeing enough following the technique step by step.
32:17That you're tweaking it and you're improvising it based on your emotions.
32:22When you do every step and you're consistent with it, the results are fast.
32:26So what I do want to do today with you both is to work on the techniques that do need tweaking.
32:32OK.
32:33And get you back on track.
32:35OK, great.
32:36Go with it.
32:37I'm looking forward to it.
32:38OK.
32:42Mum and Dad have been happy to improvise the naughty technique.
32:46And when they do it, it doesn't get done properly.
32:49So I had Dad pretend like he was one of the kids and Mum as well.
32:53When you get put on the cube, I want you to behave like your kids do.
33:00OK.
33:01So I began with testing Dad's skills on the naughty cube.
33:05And you go out and you end up.
33:08Sorry.
33:09Sorry, she's gone.
33:11But she's done really well with the naughty discipline.
33:13He's become a little bit complacent with the way that he walks.
33:17Kind of slops back and forth.
33:19So what do you do if you've got two?
33:20How?
33:21Show me.
33:23Then how do you do that?
33:24Get behind them.
33:25Then how do you do that?
33:31Keep going.
33:33If he can just remain strong until the end and make sure that he gets an apology before
33:37he's begging for those hugs and kisses, he'll be fine.
33:40And what happens if when you're on the cube and you're in charge, your child decides that
33:46they're going to pick up the cube and throw it, then what?
33:49I don't even pay attention.
33:50Really?
33:51Then keep going because now I want to see exactly what you are going to do.
33:53You're on it.
34:01And again, walk like you mean it.
34:10Okay, Mum, where are you going wrong?
34:23Oh, because he's sitting but the cube's not near him.
34:26Correct.
34:27When he pushed it away, okay, if you brought it here, you had to place him on the cube.
34:34Okay?
34:35Because that's you then taking control of it.
34:38These techniques I will use every day.
34:40I know I'm not 100% with them right now, but believe me, in the months to come, I will be great at it.
34:49You've come a long way, let's face it, from three and a half hours.
34:52But they're still testing it every day.
34:54And the more you can become aware of that yourselves, the more you realize that you'll nail it,
34:59you'll have it underneath your belt, and you'll get that result.
35:02At the end of the day, they have the techniques, both parents.
35:05They know what they're supposed to be doing, and they know when they do it correctly,
35:08they get the results, and their family are better off for it.
35:14After the lesson with the Naughty Cube, I had one more issue to address,
35:17and that was getting Mum feeling comfortable about getting our hands messy and having fun.
35:23In order to get Mum really involved and a little bit messy, I had her paint flower pots with the children,
35:34and then plant pretty flowers afterwards.
35:37And it was challenging for her.
35:39You could see mentally she was having to overcome.
35:42Mum, please put the paint in the flower pot.
35:46Oh, he put the paint in the flower pot.
35:48And I was like, oh my God.
35:50Oh no, you know what?
35:51It's leaking out.
35:52What's up there?
35:53Is there a hole in it?
35:54Oh yeah, there's a hole in it.
35:55That's why there are holes in it.
35:57And I really played up to the situation.
36:00Oh, it is leaking.
36:02And I kind of just like sucked back, like, okay, this is time for them to play, be free, okay?
36:07We're going to put the flowers in here.
36:09We don't put the paint inside here.
36:11Oh, look where I put mine.
36:12Here's your.
36:13Oh, very good, Cameron.
36:15It's okay.
36:17Look, I got it all over my arm.
36:19It's okay.
36:20And as Mum started to loosen up, the kids did as well.
36:23Oh, look.
36:25You could really see this energy amongst the family,
36:29feeling rather relaxed and calm where they were just genuinely having fun.
36:34Now what do you do?
36:35Just stick it in?
36:36The whole scene was a mess, but it was fun.
36:40Look at that.
36:41So look, you see the difference?
36:43Do you feel the difference?
36:44Daddy?
36:45I mean, yeah, yeah, step outside the box a bit.
36:47When Mum was engaged, when she was focusing purely on having fun with the kids,
36:52you could sense it, the kids could feel it, and everyone was having fun.
36:56Magic.
36:59JoJo's going home now.
37:01Jo put us right on the right track.
37:03Now we have to continue on this path and make it work.
37:08Blake?
37:10Love the bag.
37:11We appreciate everything she did for us.
37:13It just goes to show that, you know, with a little discipline and a little sugar, too,
37:18you get what you want.
37:19So I'm trying to give you a hug and kiss by my darling.
37:24Take care, okay?
37:28Jo taught my family, I'm going to miss JoJo.
37:31I definitely feel that I've been able to give the family a good balance between the time
37:35they'll spend with their business and also the time that they'll spend with their kids as well.
37:39Take care, mate.
37:40Thank you Jo.
37:41Take care, you're welcome. Take care.
37:43I just hope that they continue to use the techniques and put that in place with their own family.
37:47Bye, Blake!
37:48So every day they wake up and not only are they proud of what they do for a business,
37:52but also proud of what they've achieved as a family.
38:00On your mark, get set, go!
38:03I notice a big difference in my family.
38:06Going forward, I think that we're going to have a much happier family.
38:10Oh, Karen, I'm going to get a tie. I'm going to get a tie.
38:13Hooray! You won!
38:16I've seen a lot of changes in my family.
38:19The way that I found the balance between our business and our family is because Richie and I are on the same page.
38:29We work together.
38:30Wave! Say hi!
38:32Maybe they caught fish on there.
38:33Hi!
38:34Hi, people!
38:35Hi, people!
38:36The biggest lesson is that my kids could get messy with me, but they definitely cannot mess with me.
38:43You want to walk in the sand?
38:45It just shows that, you know, once you put rules into place and you teach them the rules, how fast things can turn around.
38:53Gotcha!
38:54You did it!
38:55All right!
38:56They're only five and three, and you don't want to have a good relationship when they're ten, twelve, and older.
39:02And it's just going to help all the way through our whole life.
39:05Say wave goodbye to JoJo!
39:06Wave goodbye to JoJo!
39:07Bye!
39:08Bye!
39:09Bye!
39:10Bye!
39:11Bye!
39:12Bye!
39:13Bye!
39:14Bye!
39:15Bye!
39:16Bye!
39:17Bye!
39:18Bye!
39:19Bye!
39:20Bye!
39:21Bye!
39:22Bye!
39:23Bye!
39:24Bye!
39:25Bye!
39:26Bye!
39:27Bye!
39:28Bye!
39:29Bye!
39:30Bye!
39:31Bye!
39:32Bye!
39:33Bye!
39:34Bye!
39:35Bye!
39:36Bye!
39:37Bye!