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Mom literally has to run through the house after the active older boys with Myles hanging off her arm, head bobbing dangerously.
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00:00So this week I'm in Chandler, Arizona, ready to help a family who have just
00:07brought home a newborn.
00:09Excited.
00:10Hi, we're the Peter Friend family.
00:13I'm Keith.
00:14And I'm Sonya.
00:15We have four boys.
00:16Jet's five years old.
00:18Gage is three.
00:19Trey's two years old.
00:21And baby Miles is a newborn.
00:25You do not get over here.
00:27I'm a flight attendant and so I travel quite a bit.
00:30Bye boys.
00:32With Keith being gone four or five days in a row at a time, it is extremely hard on me.
00:38Jet, wait, don't cross.
00:40I'm extremely exhausted at the end of the day.
00:45It's really hard for me to take them anywhere by myself.
00:49Hey, put it down.
00:51I don't have enough arms to catch them.
00:53Don't pee on them.
00:54I swear to God.
00:55Mom must be exhausted right now.
00:58Seriously.
00:59Do not go out there.
01:00Do not.
01:01Jet is the most spoiled.
01:03He doesn't listen very well.
01:05What are you doing?
01:08Why?
01:09Gage is extremely headstrong.
01:12Who's going to pick up all the crayons off the floor?
01:14I'm you.
01:15No, I'm not.
01:16Yes, you are.
01:17Gage does what Gage wants to do.
01:19When he wants to do it.
01:20At the time he wants to do it.
01:21Gage, get over here.
01:22Trey.
01:23Trey is definitely in his terrible twos.
01:25Yeah.
01:28Oof.
01:31Miles.
01:32We're trying to get him to sleep longer at night.
01:36Three other boys, they are very high maintenance,
01:39so making sure Miles is cared for at the same time is very difficult.
01:44Now.
01:45Now.
01:46I mean these parents are run ragged, aren't they?
01:49Look at him.
01:50Trey don't hit.
01:51Our boys!
01:52Our boys definitely fight a lot.
01:54There's days that the fighting can get out of control.
01:58We're both really bad at discipline.
02:01Sit down.
02:02There's like a threshold where you just give in.
02:04We've tried time out.
02:05I've tried soap in the mouth.
02:07We've tried hot sauce.
02:08You want to get the sauce?
02:09Let's see how you go faster going around.
02:11Put a little bit of dab on his lip.
02:15Gage, get down.
02:16Off the couch.
02:17Off the couch.
02:18I don't think hot sauce is working here, is it?
02:20I mean, let's face it.
02:21It's not really teaching the kids much,
02:23apart from how to get a burnt mouth.
02:27Do you want sauce or not?
02:30We've tried everything.
02:32What are you doing?
02:33I'm at my wit's end.
02:34Stand still.
02:35Get off my bed with your...
02:37Get off.
02:38We've lost control.
02:39Our kids have lost control.
02:41Hey!
02:42Super Nanny, we're running out of time.
02:43We don't know what to do with our kids.
02:45And we need your help.
02:46Pick it up now.
02:47All of it.
02:48Please, come help us.
02:49Come help us.
02:50Okay, Mom and Dad.
02:51I know you're running around like headless chickens,
02:53but I'll be there very soon,
02:55and we'll get some perspective on this, okay?
03:06Hello.
03:07Hello.
03:08How are you?
03:09I'm good.
03:10Nice to meet you.
03:12Nice to meet you.
03:13I was very excited to meet Jo.
03:14I was anxiously awaiting her arrival.
03:15Hi, Gage.
03:16How are you?
03:17Hi, Gage.
03:18Hi, Gage.
03:19How are you?
03:20Hello.
03:21Hello.
03:22This is Trey.
03:23Hi, Trey.
03:24Can you say hi?
03:25Hello.
03:26Hello.
03:27Hello.
03:28This is Miles.
03:29Hiya, little one.
03:30It's really wonderful to help a family with a baby this young.
03:37Yeah, it's going to be exciting.
03:39Off the computer.
03:41Dad's a flight attendant, and so he's away most of the time.
03:45So I'm quite eager to see how Mom handles the boys when she's on her own.
03:50Excuse me.
03:51Get down.
03:52No.
03:53Get down.
03:54One of the first things I saw was Gage on top of the playhouse, and Mom was quite hopeless
04:00to do anything because she had a baby in her arms.
04:03I need you to get down.
04:04I just feel like I just kind of fly by the seat of my pants.
04:08I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it's just what's getting us through the day
04:11right now, and it doesn't always work.
04:14Be careful.
04:15At first the boys listened to her, but then she went to put the baby down.
04:20It was worse because there were two boys on the roof.
04:23I also learned that Mom needs eyes at the back of her head.
04:26You cannot put a baby down when you've got rambunctious boys running around.
04:30I couldn't believe my eyes.
04:46I was shocked.
04:47Gage, look it.
04:49Don't play with baby.
04:51He wants to go on his swing and just swing, okay?
04:54Okay?
04:55When was he last fed?
04:59He was fed at 11.
05:04Mom's relying on her memory for when her baby's been fed.
05:08As part of a baby's growth, it's really important to keep track of their feeding and sleeping
05:14intervals.
05:15And if there's no written record of that, it becomes extremely difficult to do as a parent.
05:19Would you say that he normally feeds as slow as he's feeding now when he's hungry?
05:23No, normally he's gulp.
05:25Yeah, he's gulp.
05:26Exactly.
05:27So now he's done.
05:28Yes.
05:29So he hasn't actually finished that, has he?
05:30No.
05:31So he probably...
05:32He drank two.
05:33If Miles was hungry, he would have finished the bottle.
05:36I think mum's overfeeding Miles at the moment.
05:39When you overfeed a baby, they can become very uncomfortable and irritable.
05:45And then the older boys started acting up again.
05:48I need you to come here for a minute.
05:52Give it to me.
05:53Put it back in here.
05:58It's always going to be a dangerous situation when you're trying to discipline and hold a
06:03baby at the same time.
06:04No, you're not eating it.
06:06Give it.
06:07Give it out of your mouth.
06:08I want to try it.
06:09No, you're not trying it.
06:10No.
06:11No.
06:12No.
06:13Mum got so wrapped up with dealing with the older boys that she didn't see that the baby's
06:17head was tilting too far back.
06:19Unbelievable.
06:20No.
06:21Hey, guys.
06:22Hey.
06:23You're making some noise.
06:24OK.
06:25Dad came home and I got a chance to meet him and say hello, but he was swept off pretty
06:37quickly into the children's bedrooms because mum was complaining about all the toys being
06:42on the floor.
06:43Let's see what...
06:44What?
06:45Did you make this mess?
06:46So what do we do when we make a mess?
06:48Yeah.
06:49Clean up.
06:50Did you help make a mess?
06:51Yeah.
06:52Yeah?
06:53So let's clean it up.
06:55Let's clean this up, OK?
06:57Where does all this go?
06:58Where does all this go?
06:59In the chest?
07:00What a way to come home.
07:02What a way to come home.
07:03Alright, babe.
07:04You want candy?
07:05Well, you know what?
07:06After dinner, if you clean this up and after dinner, maybe you can have candy.
07:10How's that?
07:11Deal?
07:12Help your brother.
07:13Is this the first time that they're doing it for themselves?
07:14It'll work, but it takes a lot of threats.
07:17Or bribes.
07:18Bribes?
07:19Yeah.
07:20Unfortunately, sometimes that's what it takes.
07:24We went from, if you pick up your toys, you'll get some candy.
07:27You're tired.
07:28Get that.
07:29And then all of a sudden I saw him picking up the child like a human magnet where they would
07:33then pick up the toy and put it into the toy chest.
07:36Go.
07:38By the end, Dad practically picked up the mess himself.
07:42Bit of a cop out.
07:47This kid doesn't know what he's in for.
07:49What don't you get time to do with the little one that you wish you had time to do?
07:53Because there's just so much.
07:54I feel like he's just left out of my life a little bit.
07:56Give him a bath or anything like that?
07:57Steiner does all that stuff.
08:00And when I'm home, somebody's got to keep these three occupied.
08:04Dad gets swamped by the older boys, which means he doesn't get to spend much time with the baby alone,
08:09which can be pretty hard on him emotionally.
08:11At dinner time, I saw another example of Mum and Dad just not being aware of the needs of baby Miles.
08:20I might be hungry.
08:21I'm going to see if he wants some more food.
08:24What's Miles telling you right now?
08:26Well, one of two things.
08:28He's either hungry or his diaper's kind of wet.
08:31So I was just going to get a bottle ready.
08:33The diaper felt very heavy, but Dad was saying, well, maybe the baby's hungry.
08:37And when you've got a newborn, you have to start eliminating what those reasons may be that your child's crying.
08:43Because your child crying, really, is your child talking to you.
08:46If you know that he's got a sobbing diaper...
08:49No, I can feel his diaper. He's heavy.
08:51Right.
08:52So change the diaper first, and then go and do the bottle.
08:54I'm tired. I've got to clean your eyes.
08:57You know, with him, it's a lot harder for me to figure out what his cry is.
09:07I don't believe you instinctively. You knew straight away.
09:10Joanne told me to go with my gut.
09:12She goes, you knew what you were supposed to do.
09:15You didn't have confidence in yourself.
09:18Miles was still crying, so Dad just automatically picked up a bottle without even realizing when he'd last been fed.
09:30You okay? Oh, that's not good.
09:33Full?
09:34Miles was spitting up halfway throughout his bottle, so they need to be aware of how much he's had.
09:40I've got two ounces down. I don't think that's that much.
09:42It's taking, like, really weird feeding.
09:44You know, before it was every three hours, and now that he's getting older, it's like whenever he cries, it seems...
09:49It'll be really important for both parents to keep a regular feeding schedule for Miles.
09:57Spending time here has definitely given me an idea of how chaotic it can be for these parents.
10:04For this family, it is about managing younger boys and meeting the needs of a baby.
10:10And it's not working right now. That's why I'm here.
10:13I'm gonna leave you to all get, hopefully, some good sleep tonight, because I can't wait to come in tomorrow
10:18and give you the download on lots of things that we can do here.
10:23We're looking forward to it.
10:24Yeah.
10:25It's been an eventful day, and there's so much that I want to teach them with regards to the newborn.
10:29And really, I'm just looking forward to going in tomorrow and having a family meeting and helping them.
10:34So the first thing I want to talk about is discipline. There is none.
10:49Yeah.
10:50Little.
10:51You have threats.
10:52Lots of unanswered threats, yeah.
10:54Mm-hmm.
10:55Or bribery for them to do something and behave.
11:00That's true. That's what we feel like. I mean, that's...
11:03When you tell them something, they don't respect it.
11:05They don't take you seriously because they know that you don't follow through.
11:09We tell our children that we don't want them to behave a certain way over and over again,
11:15because repetition is how they learn, not hot sauce.
11:19You put hot sauce on a child's tongue. It burns their tongue.
11:24What's that really teaching?
11:27I don't know if it really taught anything. It was just, uh...
11:30Sounds crazy to me.
11:31No, it's crazy. I mean...
11:32It's crazy.
11:33You feel overwhelmed having a five-year-old, two toddlers, a house to run,
11:41and then you have a newborn that comes along, and it throws a spanner in the works
11:46because you have to learn to adjust and regulate everything again.
11:51But however, the needs and the demands of your newborn have to be met.
11:56They're a necessity.
11:58Right.
11:59A necessity.
12:00We have only our memory to rely on right now.
12:03Yeah.
12:04On when those last feeds were, how long the baby slept,
12:07when the baby fell asleep, and where are we recording it?
12:10We're not.
12:11Nowhere.
12:12We're trying to do it.
12:13We're trying to record it up here.
12:14Yeah, but...
12:15But of course, sleep deprivation and running around 24, we can't rely on this.
12:21You're a flight attendant, so one minute you're here, and then you're back on the plane again.
12:26So, you know, these kids are constantly having this small time with you before you go again.
12:32It's very overwhelming for me to have all four of them, because I'm not here all the time,
12:35and I don't feel like I have that connection with Miles yet.
12:37And with him being fussy the way he is, and me not recognizing all that right now...
12:41And getting frustrated.
12:42I think that's... it's tough.
12:44What you want for yourself is to feel more...
12:46More confident.
12:47More confident.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Just you looking at your little son yesterday, saying, I'm just not spending enough time with him, and...
12:55Yeah.
12:56It's...
12:57It's true.
12:58It's like, you know, I want to, but I never have a chance because of the other kids.
13:02So we need to make that happen.
13:03I'm all in.
13:04Let's do that.
13:05Let's get you to a place, both of you, where you feel you can do that.
13:11But all the hard work comes now.
13:15So, we've got enough energy to kick us through this, right?
13:18We do.
13:19So I look forward to seeing you later.
13:20Okay.
13:26My first goal is to address the needs of baby Miles.
13:30Mum and Dad spend so much time dealing with their wild older boys,
13:33that I know it's going to be important for them to record baby Miles' feeding and sleeping intervals.
13:39The reason I'm giving you this baby log is because we want to keep track of when Miles is feeding,
13:47sleep, and how long for, so that then we can start to form patterns.
13:52Okay.
13:53If we don't have a baby log, then we've got nothing to go by.
13:55So, the first thing I do know is that you told me that Miles has just had a feed, is that correct?
13:59Just done.
14:00So, we can start off by doing that. We can put the time and then the amount that he had.
14:05Okay.
14:06You can put a little one.
14:07Sure.
14:08There we go.
14:09I absolutely love the baby log.
14:11Remember, it's not until they're actually having puree foods and milks that you then start to lay down real solid sleeping patterns.
14:19Hopefully, these parents can keep up writing in that baby log amongst all of this wild behaviour.
14:24There's your little baby log.
14:26With Dad out of town a lot, it's going to be really important for Mum to be able to manage all of these kids when she's out in public.
14:35So, I'm going to teach you the roaming technique and how to use their tone of voice.
14:39You're going to explain to them that they're going to the park and we're going to have some fun, but they're to listen to you.
14:45Using your tone is going to be so important because you're basically commanding them to behave and do as they're told.
14:53She's not really stepping up as an authoritative figure and her tone would command that, but she doesn't know how to use that yet.
15:01Okay, I want everyone to go to the front door and stop.
15:03And I soon got the chance to teach Mum by example.
15:06Don't open the door.
15:08I said...
15:09Alright, remember your voice.
15:10Remember your voice.
15:11I want you to keep that door closed.
15:12Do you understand me?
15:14Keep the door closed.
15:16It's going to be really important that Mum exercises her tone of voice.
15:19I believe that when she does, these kids will realise, uh oh, you know, Mum's being serious, we're going to have to knuckle down here.
15:26Baby Miles was sleeping and because I want to keep him on that schedule, I decided to keep him at home with Dad and put a stuffed animal into the stroller instead.
15:34Baby's going in here.
15:36In order for Mum to do the roaming technique efficiently, I had to put gauge on one side and tray on the other.
15:43Jet can be just here.
15:46Okay.
15:47But you're never wanting running off more than like seven paces ahead of you.
15:52You're going to come with me.
15:53They're all independent and as soon as they see the park, they're gone and I'm thinking, I don't know how this is going to work.
15:59You guys stayed not too far from Mummy.
16:01The fear for any parent when you're out in public with lots of kids is that they may run into the road and that's why it's going to be important for Mum to keep things in control.
16:09Hold, gauge.
16:10Stop.
16:11Hold on here.
16:12Stop.
16:13Hold.
16:14Alright, Jet's too far.
16:15Jet, you need to stop and wait for me.
16:16Okay.
16:17No.
16:18Stop.
16:19Right now.
16:20Bring him right here.
16:21Stop the front and talk to him.
16:22You need to listen to me.
16:23When I say stop, you need to stop right there.
16:25There's all these cars parked here.
16:27Another car won't see you.
16:29Hang on.
16:30Make sure there's no cars.
16:31Okay.
16:32Mum used her voice very well and the boys responded.
16:35But going to the park gave her a set of new challenges.
16:38Oh, baby's crying, Mum.
16:39Baby's crying.
16:40Baby's crying hysterically.
16:41Gotta tend to baby.
16:42Oh my God, no you are not.
16:43No you are not.
16:44No.
16:45No you are not.
16:46No.
16:47Then you do not do it right there.
16:48Do you understand me?
16:49Yeah.
16:50Oh my gosh.
16:51So, Mum hasn't done too bad.
16:52She's using her voice.
16:53Actually telling them what to do rather than asking them and staying on top of things.
17:08Who did?
17:09Ho, ho.
17:10Jet, I need you to get down.
17:15Your brother has to go home.
17:18It's amazing when you just use a different tone of voice that you get different respect.
17:25I do think that Mum did very well today.
17:27However, it's going to be a whole different story when she's by herself and she has the real
17:31baby in that stroller.
17:32We'll see.
17:33The next thing on my agenda was to teach these parents proper discipline.
17:40Because they've been using hot sauce.
17:43And quite frankly, I'd like to see that bottle back in the pantry.
17:48So I explained to Mum and Dad the process and steps of the time out.
17:52And when the child gets up from the time out, take them by the hand and place them back.
17:57But without talking to them.
17:59Trey gave Dad the opportunity to use his new learned technique.
18:02Do not hit the computer.
18:03Okay?
18:04We don't hit the computer.
18:05No.
18:06Trey.
18:07We do not touch the computer.
18:08This is your last warning.
18:09Then you go to time out.
18:10Do you understand?
18:11He did it again.
18:12I put him in time out for two minutes because he's two years old.
18:15Look in my eyes.
18:16When I tell you not to do something, you don't do it.
18:17Understand?
18:18Thinking this shouldn't be a bad thing.
18:19Stay here.
18:20Okay.
18:21Look at me.
18:22Now time starts over.
18:23Sit.
18:24Stay.
18:25Stay.
18:26Stay.
18:27That's what you get for being a bad boy.
18:28Don't say nothing.
18:29Just take him firmly by the hand.
18:30Put him back on that bench.
18:31He kept getting up.
18:32And I was so frustrated with it.
18:33I don't even know how many times I must have sat him down.
18:36I wasn't sure if it was going to work.
18:37Do I ever, like, say anything?
18:38Like, after a while, just say, listen.
18:39You need to sit there for two minutes.
18:40No, he knows already by your actions.
18:41Okay.
18:42Your actions speak volumes because it's repetitive.
18:43Feel it here.
18:44No messing around.
18:45Kids can feel that.
18:46They know that.
18:47And when you're confident and you know, they get comfortable.
18:49And when they're confident, you know, you're getting comfortable.
18:51They're not happy.
18:52How did I end up with your actions?
18:53How was it feeling when you ended up with your actions?
18:54And as I was going to say, you know, how many times I sat him down, how many times I must
18:55have sat him down, how many times?
18:56I was able to do it.
18:57How many times?
18:58And when I sat him down.
18:59I couldn't get upset.
19:00And he kept getting up.
19:01He kept getting up.
19:02And I was so frustrated with it.
19:04I don't even know how many times I must have sat him down.
19:05Feel it here, no messing around.
19:07Kids can feel that, they know that.
19:09And when you're confident and you know,
19:11they get it, because they can sense that.
19:15Is there a record for timeouts that you've done?
19:17I want to say three and a half hours.
19:23So he finally made his two minutes,
19:25and we finally got done with the marathon.
19:27That was something that I thought was never going to end.
19:29Say it like you mean it.
19:31Okay.
19:32He needs to know you're being serious.
19:33Listen, I put you on this timeout,
19:35because you did not listen to Daddy.
19:36Yeah.
19:37We'll follow through with it.
19:38Our kids will know that Mommy and Daddy are boss,
19:41and we don't have to give them hot sauce.
19:43Are you sorry?
19:44Sorry.
19:45Okay, then give me a hug and a kiss.
19:47I think that Dad did really good
19:49when it comes to discipline in Trey.
19:51So I do believe that they can put that hot sauce
19:53back in the pantry.
19:54But next time, not so much talking.
19:57Go.
20:00I've done some great work with Mom.
20:02I've taught both parents how to do discipline,
20:04so now it's time for me to work with Dad.
20:06I think it would be a good thing to build Dad's confidence,
20:09and that's why I'm going to leave him
20:11with all of the kids to juggle.
20:13I'm going to really send you off for a couple of hours,
20:18so you can go and do whatever you want to do,
20:20because I need to get Dad in a place
20:22where he's feeling confident with all of the kids.
20:26It caught me off guard because I wasn't at all expecting
20:28to be able to just get away for a couple of hours,
20:32and she wanted me to spring it on Keith.
20:34I think I'm going to just go take some time for myself.
20:37That's fine.
20:38For a little while.
20:39That's a good idea.
20:40When Sonja told me, I was a little nervous,
20:41but I was worried about, man, if Miles wakes up,
20:44if Miles hungry, and I got the boys over here.
20:46Bye, guys. Enjoy ya.
20:48How am I going to juggle?
20:50Jet, where are you?
20:52This malarkey here going on with Jet is not necessary.
20:57He needs to know what you expect from him at that table.
21:01Hey, look at me. Look at me.
21:03Right now, I want you to sit at your table.
21:05I want you to eat your food.
21:06You're not getting down from the table until all day.
21:08Do you understand?
21:10Jet had been warned, but he still wouldn't cooperate.
21:13Jet, you need to sit in this seat like a big boy.
21:16You're five years old. Act like it, okay?
21:19Lunch took longer than what it should have,
21:21and Dad ran into more trouble when he let the boys out to play.
21:25Trey, get over here now. Now. Trey!
21:29And when it came to Trey's nap, he hit another snag.
21:32Keith? Yeah?
21:33What are you going to do with your baby?
21:34Personally, I don't think there's a problem with me running inside real quick
21:37and keeping him out here, because I feel like the boys,
21:39if I tell them not to touch him, hopefully won't.
21:41What are you thinking?
21:42Your kids are having trouble listening to you.
21:45Stay at the dining table. Take him with you.
21:48Okay.
21:49That way you know that he's inside while you're putting Trey to bed.
21:53Okay.
21:54And he's safe.
21:55Dad eventually did get Trey down for his nap.
21:57Okay, it is now quiet time.
21:59If you want to play with those, you can.
22:01I know it makes noise, but just play quietly. Quietly.
22:04Okay.
22:05Dad did have a successful afternoon managing all of his boys.
22:09However, I do know that he needs more time with baby Miles.
22:14So with mum back home to look after the older boys, I knew I could then give dad that special little cuddle time with baby Miles.
22:22Right.
22:23Keith, we're going to do a little bit of parent craft.
22:25Okay.
22:26Miles.
22:27Bath time.
22:28Oh, sweet.
22:29Awesome.
22:30When I do get my one-on-one time with Miles, I'm not as comfortable as I thought.
22:33I was very comfortable with each of the other kids.
22:35And with Miles, I know it's up in the air.
22:37With this, how high should the water be?
22:38One and a half.
22:39One and a half.
22:40Two inches.
22:41One and a half.
22:42Two inches.
22:43So many feet.
22:44Keith wants to have that connection with Miles.
22:45So even if it's just a 10-minute bath that he gets with him, that's huge.
22:50You're then going to place your index finger and your thumb supporting the neck.
22:56Right.
23:00Since Miles has been born, I haven't even given him a bath.
23:04And it's one of my most favorite things to do.
23:06Good job, Miles.
23:07Feel good to be clean?
23:09Should.
23:10I think it's been a little while.
23:11Okay.
23:12You're okay.
23:13After the bath, I wanted to make one more point about applying the baby lotion.
23:17The fact that you can stroke and touch your baby is another way of you bonding.
23:22And it's just very, very soft.
23:24It's your fingertips.
23:25Just lovely, firm, round, circular motions or strokes down.
23:29It's another way.
23:30It's touch.
23:31It's nice.
23:32I feel like I'm getting that bond with him.
23:33And I feel like he's recognizing me more.
23:35I'm finally getting that sense of feeling like we're connecting as son and dad.
23:46After the bath, I thought what I'd do is check that baby log.
23:49He woke up at four this morning.
23:50Yeah.
23:51And he had four ounces.
23:52Yeah.
23:53Then he was probably down by like 4.30.
23:54And he slept till eight this morning.
23:56All right.
23:57We need to really put in the details of it.
23:59Because by the time you get down to like two weeks, you're going to go wake up at four.
24:03Where did he go to sleep?
24:04So let's have this a bit more thorough.
24:06Okay.
24:07I want you literally going.
24:08You're right.
24:09I won't remember.
24:10There's no way.
24:11Mom and dad could do with more detail in the baby log.
24:14But I mean, they're definitely making progress.
24:16And I think it's serving them really well.
24:17And he slept till 8 a.m.
24:19That's brilliant.
24:20And then he should be down till maybe four or five in the morning again.
24:24Correct.
24:25Nice.
24:26Life is nice.
24:27Joe has helped us to log everything.
24:29And it's working very well.
24:30Baby's sleeping and eating much better.
24:32When baby's happy, mommy's happy.
24:35Even though dad travels a lot, I wanted to show him that when he is at home, he could definitely
24:40use his imagination to have fun with these boys.
24:43What we have here, mom and dad, is a chest that has lots of accessories inside it.
24:50And today what we're going to do is a big animated story.
24:54Once upon a time, three little boys and their mommies and daddy went on a big, big safari
25:03to go look for animals.
25:06Maybe some lions.
25:07Ah!
25:08Muppies!
25:09Or maybe some elephants.
25:10Woo!
25:11Creative time with the kids is important.
25:14And fortunately, haven't been able to be that creative in a while.
25:18Let's see if there's a cow over here on the safari.
25:20Woo!
25:21I'm just so awesome.
25:25Woo!
25:26I'm a puppy.
25:28Woo!
25:29Keith has just done remarkable.
25:31He's confident.
25:32He enjoys every minute with all of them.
25:35So it's so good to see.
25:37I love it.
25:38Say hocus pocus and send us home.
25:39Hocus pocus!
25:40Say hocus pocus.
25:41Hocus pocus.
25:42Yes, you're ready.
25:43Yes, you're ready.
25:44Go.
25:45Hocus pocus, send us home.
25:46Dab us all.
25:47Dab us all.
25:48Okay.
25:49Okay.
25:50And then he said, I can cookies you by day.
25:51And we all went home.
25:52Woo!
25:53I'm going away for several days.
25:55So what I would love to see is another one of those trips over at the park.
25:59Okay.
26:00But with baby.
26:01All right?
26:02What I will struggle with most while she's gone is time out.
26:06I lose my patience.
26:07And now I'm going to get frustrated.
26:09And I'm just hoping that we won't need to go there.
26:11We're going to have to remember, it's not octopus here doing 20 things at once.
26:14All right?
26:15It's recognizing that you do this, and then you can do that afterwards.
26:18While Joe's gone, the biggest concern for me is the disciplining.
26:21Trying to get the kids to sit on that naughty chair.
26:25Bye-bye.
26:26It's time for Sonia and I to put everything together that Joe's taught us, and make it
26:31work.
26:32All right, guys.
26:33Thanks so much, Joe.
26:34I think that these parents have done great.
26:36However, it's going to be important to stay on track so that they don't burn themselves
26:40out.
26:41So they're going to have to be careful.
26:42It's been three days since I've been gone, which is quite a long time, so I hope they've
26:55done well.
26:56Are we ready to watch?
26:57Let's do it.
26:58Yep.
26:59Yes!
27:00That's a yes!
27:01Okay.
27:02I want to take a look at Dad's time out here.
27:04I don't know how much I'm going to like this one.
27:06Clean up now.
27:07Gage.
27:09Let's go.
27:10Nope.
27:11You just lost it.
27:12I asked you, and you're not doing it.
27:14So let's go to time out.
27:15Well, then you need to start listening.
27:17You're the only one in this family that doesn't listen.
27:19Sit there.
27:20Don't move.
27:21When I ask you to clean something up, you will do it.
27:23Do you hear me?
27:24Look at me.
27:25Eyes.
27:26Eyes.
27:27Don't move.
27:28Do not move.
27:29Every time you move, the clock starts over.
27:32Go see where Mommy's at.
27:33Look over here.
27:34Do you know why you weren't in time out?
27:35Yeah.
27:36Tell me why.
27:37Because.
27:38Because why.
27:39You didn't listen?
27:40Yeah.
27:41Okay.
27:42Give me a hug.
27:43I don't know if I liked the way I was talking with him, but.
27:44You got to go in with a different attitude.
27:45There was this, you stay on the time out now, because if you don't, then I'm going to move
27:48the timer back, and I just want you to know this.
27:50What you were really saying was, please stay on this time out bench.
27:55You were begging him to stay there.
27:56Yeah.
27:57You so want your child to understand.
27:58And you so want him to just get it.
27:59Correct.
28:00And so you're just like, if I can just say it to him, maybe he'll get it.
28:01We expect our young toddlers to get it straight away.
28:04But you only remember that through repetition.
28:06Yes.
28:07Yes.
28:08Yes.
28:09Yes.
28:10Yes.
28:11Yes.
28:12Yes.
28:13Yes.
28:14Yes.
28:15Yes.
28:16Yes.
28:17Yes.
28:18Yes.
28:19Yes.
28:20Yes.
28:21Yes.
28:22Yes.
28:23Yes.
28:24You're HELD, and you're learning the time out bench, and we're having to go over again,
28:28because the steps are not lodged in there.
28:30OK.
28:31All right.
28:32So, Mum outside.
28:33Remember when we walked the park yesterday?
28:35Mm-hm.
28:36You need to hold onto the stroller.
28:37You cannot cross the street by yourself.
28:39Right here.
28:40Yep.
28:41Stop.
28:42No.
28:43Wait.
28:44I'm sorry.
28:45Anybody coming?
28:46No shoes off, though, OK?
28:48Stop it.
28:49Gage, we're not dumping sand.
28:53No, no, fine. You're not doing it right there. I said not to do it at all. We're going home
28:59I'm not catching you you're gonna get down here and go get your shoes on now
29:03I'm not playing games. I've warned you
29:07When I talk to you you need to listen to me jet stop stop stop
29:15All right
29:16Let's break down what happened there going there was perfectly fine
29:19You set it up nice and clear you got them to the park and that was great
29:24But when you started to kick in with a warning you didn't use the right tone and you didn't use eye contact
29:29You didn't say down here right now
29:32Otherwise, you're going straight into timeout and that literally would have held it all together
29:36Yeah, so as soon as you see that they don't listen the first time kick in
29:41So let's take a look at your time out here Sonia
29:45Hold on hold on hold on you just hit your brother mommy's gonna watch you in time out
29:49Sit please
29:51Can you see the numbers going down?
29:53Get up and then you're gonna start again
29:55sit
29:56Sit your bottom on the chair
30:00You need to sit here for three minutes
30:04Yes, don't get up. All right. It's starting all over again. No
30:09Now we gotta start all over again
30:11I'm tired watching it
30:13Sit with your bottom on the bench sit here on the bench sit with your bottom on the chair
30:21You did it. You do not hit your brothers. Look at me. Do not tell me that you do not like me
30:38That is very hurtful
30:40Don't say it
30:42Eric
30:44That was crazy
30:46Yeah, you were chatting to him. It's like you had something like you didn't have anything else to do
30:50His leg was cocked up over the seat. He was chilling for his three minutes and you were still sitting there saying
30:56Right we gotta stay there. You gotta stay there. I'm like what part of Gage wasn't actually sitting on that seat at the time
31:03What were you thinking?
31:05I don't know
31:06I'll tell you what I was thinking
31:08I like a majority of parents
31:10It's really tough for you guys to give discipline
31:13He actually did as he was told
31:15He did
31:15But it was difficult for you to leave him alone
31:17I don't know why
31:18Well, you felt like
31:20You're a bad parent for doing that
31:22It's part of of your parenting
31:25It's your responsibility to raise your children to start becoming more aware of of their actions and their behavior
31:31So we need to polish up time out
31:33Definitely
31:33And we're going to work on a few other things as well
31:36So if you guys are ready, we'll continue
31:38I'm ready
31:38Let's go
31:39All right, thank you
31:39After watching the DVD I could see that it was important for mum to still have practice
31:53In using her voice to control her kids
31:55So I thought I'd take them to a train museum
31:58I like trains
32:00Let's start over there
32:01Part of me was like oh god
32:03I had it planned in my head how I wanted it to happen and go
32:06Didn't quite go that way
32:07The boys tested her from the beginning
32:11Safety, what are we doing?
32:13I'm panicking
32:15Exactly, so deal with it
32:16Do you think these boys should be allowed up there?
32:19No
32:19You know, no
32:20This is too high, too big
32:22I think Jet's all right
32:23He climbs slides taller than that
32:25But this little one
32:26No, listen
32:27Mum, he doesn't want you to get hurt
32:29Okay, so mum
32:31This is where you can turn around and say to him
32:33Listen to mummy and stop climbing up there
32:35Otherwise you'll have to hold on to the stroller
32:38Look at his face
32:39And deal with his behaviour
32:40We can now go on there, train
32:45The stroller, mum, the stroller
32:49Stop that behaviour right now
32:50If you misbehave like this
32:54Anymore you're going to be holding on to the stroller
32:56Do you understand me?
32:57Look at me
32:58Do you understand me?
32:59Then behave yourself
33:01Otherwise you'll hold on to the stroller
33:03Mum, you see the little one like that
33:05Straight away
33:07Just say to him
33:08This behaviour and you're holding on
33:09Once you address it
33:11You're sorry, you went completely quiet
33:13Great
33:13Whilst exploring the trains
33:15The boys gave mum a good chance to practice
33:18Trey
33:19Trey, I need you to come to mummy
33:21Trey, you need to come over here to mummy right now
33:24Trey
33:25You need to come over here to mummy right now
33:28If you don't come over to mummy
33:29You're going to hold on to the stroller
33:34Thank you
33:35Right, so you told him three times
33:37Before you said the stroller
33:39Next time
33:40Stroller
33:41Tell him once
33:41Stroller
33:42Got it
33:43Mum has certainly come a long way
33:45Feeling more confident using her voice
33:47But I want to clarify what she's learnt today
33:49After your first conversational tone
33:52Nip in with the lower tone
33:54That basically is telling them
33:55That they need to listen and respond straight away
33:57And when you're feeling panicked
33:59Have them hold on to that stroller
34:01In the past when we were out in public
34:03We didn't really have a plan in place
34:05So this gives me a sense of ease
34:07I know that they're listening
34:09So I feel better
34:16Both parents have got discipline underneath their belt
34:19However, they do like to talk a lot
34:20So I'm going to give them a written reminder
34:22It's just something very simple for you
34:25So that when you are doing the timeouts
34:27It can just jog your memory, okay?
34:29I love that Joe gave us a plaque
34:31Because when you do get caught up and you're getting frustrated
34:35Just to look up and be like, okay, keep me on track
34:38And that's going to stay up there for a long time
34:40I'll work on two, you work on four
34:42Yes
34:43And then later on, Mom had a chance to go through all the steps
34:46When Gage had a bathroom mishap
34:50You peed in here?
34:51Yeah
34:53Are you kidding me?
34:56You peed in here?
34:57Yes
34:59Come here
35:00What you just did was very wrong
35:02You know that you do not go pee-pee in the waste basket
35:06Where do you go potty?
35:09Okay, so
35:12Three minutes
35:13Yes
35:24We need to reset the timer
35:29Sit your bottom on the chair
35:31It's hard to just not want to say anything
35:34Mom, look at the timeout reminder
35:37Walking away
35:38I'm constantly wanting to be like, just sit and it will be done
35:46Mom didn't say a word and Gage stayed put for three minutes
35:50Minutes are up, you go over and tell him firmly
35:53You don't have to be angry, you just have to be assertive
35:56Do you know why you sat in timeout?
36:02Why?
36:03When Gage completed his timeout, I was very pleased that we both did it so it was good
36:11Number four is to explain
36:13With solid practice of getting this discipline down and a written reminder, there's no way really these parents can fail
36:21Okay, great
36:22Okay, great
36:27Hey, Miles
36:27What's up, baby?
36:30You know, I tell everybody who's going to be a dad, it's just the best experience you'll ever have in your life
36:34As a flight attendant, Keith is often away from his family and sometimes days at a time
36:40I've missed a ton of my kids' life
36:43It's a job and I have to do it
36:44It's heart-wrenching, you know, when I'm not here
36:46I want to give you something that I think will be really fun for you
36:51As you can see, we have mommy and your boys
36:54That is awesome
36:55And if you open up each little window and pull out the paper, you'll see that there is a nice little opportunity
37:02to leave each one a little message and when you do leave, mommy will be able to read that out to boys, you know?
37:10This is great
37:13Since I'm leaving tomorrow, Joe thought it'd be a good idea if I go ahead and write the notes out right away
37:17It's just a way for the kids to know I'm thinking about them
37:20That was one of the best things I've gotten
37:23I think that the notes definitely are going to make it a little bit easier
37:27I left you a note and mommy can read you a note
37:31I could give it to them and they can kind of hold on to it and
37:34just kind of have a little piece of daddy when he's not there knowing that
37:38he wrote those specifically for each of us
37:41Look, even Miles is up in the front
37:43Well, hey, continue on your journey and keep in touch
37:48We will
37:49Keep in touch
37:50I just want to thank Jojo from the bottom of my heart for a wonderful, wonderful experience
37:55Thank you
37:56Thank you for everything
37:57You're more than welcome
37:58You're going to be myth
37:59Bye bye
38:00I mean all of us, Gage, Trey, Keith, myself
38:05We've all taken away so many wonderful things
38:08Bye bye, Jojo
38:09Bye bye, Jojo
38:10We've got to thank Jojo
38:12Roma
38:13Thanks for coming
38:17Please help me
38:18Stay back
38:19Thanks
38:27Bye bye
38:29Bye bye
38:31Bye bye
38:31Bye bye
38:33Bye bye
38:33Bye bye
38:36Bye bye
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