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00:00This is the plaintiff, Ron Schaefer.
00:04He claims he was hired as a bodyguard to protect one of the most powerful figures in show business,
00:08but was not paid for his services.
00:12This is his girlfriend, Kathy, who Ron claims was tricked by the defendant into doing a porno.
00:16Ron and Kathy are suing for $250.
00:20The amount they forfeited in welfare and food stamps for actually getting jobs.
00:24This is the defendant, Marvin Tipford. He claims that the defendants are idiots.
00:28Not only is Ron the worst fighter in the world, but also the porno Kathy made is unwatchable
00:33due to the fact that she threw up on her co-star.
00:36Marvin is accused of being a cheap fat bastard.
00:42There's a new judge in town.
00:44She'll be hearing real cases presented by real asswipes who've agreed to squander
00:48what little self-respect they have left in our forum.
00:51The People's Court.
00:53Today, Ron, you are suing Mr. Tikva for $250 welfare?
00:59Uh, yes, Your Honor.
01:01Also, I would like to include the amount for today's lunch,
01:04as I had to take the day off from not working to be here today.
01:08Forget it.
01:09Now tell me about your business transaction with Mr. Tikva.
01:12And don't lie, you crackhead.
01:15Hey!
01:16For your information, the only crack I do these days is this one right here.
01:21I don't mind your words just charm me.
01:25And your mouth charms me.
01:30Hey!
01:31Hey!
01:32Hey!
01:33Stop it.
01:34I'm gonna turn a hose on you.
01:35Don't do it, Your Honor.
01:36You'll only make this one wetter than she already is.
01:41Mr. Tikva, what exactly do you need protection from?
01:46From donuts?
01:51Come on.
01:53All right, fine.
01:54I produce films in the two most profitable categories.
01:58Children's animation and porno.
02:01And the porno industry, by and large, is fairly laid back
02:04as long as you keep everybody high.
02:07But children's animation is frickin' dangerous.
02:10I mean, have you ever seen Jeffrey Katzenberg when he's mad?
02:14Just thinking about it makes me crap my pants.
02:17And I'm thinking about it right now.
02:19Ron, you say Kathy was tricked into doing a porno for Mr. Tikva.
02:28Do you have any proof of that?
02:30Uh, yes I do, Your Honor.
02:31Um, this was my face when I found out.
02:35What?
02:37Do you see my mother gets here, Your Honor?
02:40Kathy!
02:41Why'd you do the porno?
02:43Well, Ron and I were fighting cause he burned down my house.
02:47Uh, but it was by mistake.
02:50I meant to burn down the neighbor's house.
02:53And I didn't know that and so I took it all personal.
02:57Yeah.
02:59Baby, don't you know that I would never set you on fire unless you really deserved it?
03:06I want my next baby to be yours.
03:10Start right here and now.
03:11Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, stop.
03:20What?
03:22You have children?
03:24Five kids but none of them are Ron's.
03:27None of them are even white.
03:29It's not that it's bad, but I mean, come on, one of them is tri-racial.
03:33How does that even happen? Don't you have to be a cat?
03:37So to get back at Ron, you did a porno for Mr. Tickfa.
03:43I didn't do it for Mr. Tickfa.
03:47I did it with Mr. Tickfa.
03:50You never told me that.
03:53I'm just, I'm just, I'm just.
03:55I am, I'm, I gotta break something, man, I gotta, I gotta.
04:00Easy.
04:02You're cold.
04:10Oh, come on, you aren't even strong enough to break wind.
04:15Your Honor, I request permission to kick this turkey's ass.
04:20Oh, go right ahead, I would love to see this gone.
04:22You are going down, turkey.
04:29My man, you're gonna put you away for murder.
04:33You see, Your Honor, this man completely misrepresented his fighting skills to me.
04:38So I did what any self-respecting businessman would do,
04:41and that's screw his girlfriend and film it.
04:45But I wanna add, for emphasis, she did so willingly.
04:49After a couple of drinks and a roofie.
04:53Okay, okay, I've heard enough, I've heard enough, I am ready to rule.
04:57I find that you are all a burden to society,
05:01and thereby sentence you to death by lethal injection.
05:05Come on!
05:07You can't do that!
05:09We're fictional characters on a TV show!
05:11Yeah!
05:13Yeah!
05:14What show would be dumb enough to feature people like you?
05:17It's MADtv!
05:21With Frank Caliendo!
05:24Mo Collins!
05:27Bobby Lee!
05:29Michael McDonald!
05:31Gary Spears!
05:32Yes!
05:34Stephanie Weir!
05:36Debra Wilson!
05:38Featuring Mike Barinholtz!
05:40Josh Myers!
05:41Ron Peterson!
05:42En Mitarik!
05:43Bruce!
05:44He-E- anda!
05:46Harry Spears!
05:47Stephanie Weir!
05:49Peter's on pause!
05:51Debra Wilson!
05:53Featuring Mike Barinholtz!
05:55zwas conserve
05:56hi-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va-va.
06:08Hey, comedy fans, CBS knows that fat guys are funny.
06:15And what's funnier than one big tubbo?
06:18How about three chunks of lard all on the same night?
06:22It's Fat Guy Mondays on CBS.
06:25The King of Queens.
06:26Yes, dear.
06:28And still standing.
06:30I don't know how anyone could still be standing
06:34with that gelatinous pile and plop. Kaboom!
06:38Ray Romano isn't fat yet,
06:40but we're loading him up with ice cream, bacon, and chicken fried butter.
06:43And we promise he'll be hideously overweight by March.
06:47So bust a gut with our gut busters.
06:50Fat Guy Mondays, only on CBS.
06:56We are the Kappa, Kappa, Kappa.
07:00Or the KKK.
07:02Put the button on it.
07:03Please welcome my new co-host, Mississippi Senator, Tramp Lot.
07:08Oh, brave and wise Shabraniac.
07:11I forgot what I was supposed to say.
07:16You're watching USC, closed-circuit television.
07:20Hi, and welcome to Sorority Row.
07:22I'm Hayden.
07:23I'm Mackenzie.
07:24And I'm Toby.
07:25And we are...
07:27The Kappa, Kappa, Kappa!
07:29Yay!
07:31Or the KKK.
07:33But the fun won't.
07:35Yay!
07:35Yay!
07:36Yay!
07:36Yay!
07:38Last week, we Kappas hosted our 63rd Annual Kappa Games,
07:42where we challenge other sororities to fun competitions,
07:45and then give the money to a needy family.
07:47And we are proud to say that this year was an alcohol-free event.
07:50That's right.
07:52There was no beer.
07:54Just ecstasy, weed, and blow.
08:01And like every year, Kappa kicks major butt,
08:05starting with my personal favorite, the sack race.
08:08I told you it was my favorite.
08:11Anyway, the most rewarding part of the day was the volleyball match against our very own Kappa alumni, the class of 48.
08:21The class of 48.
08:22Oh, my God.
08:23Oh, my God.
08:24I told you it was my favorite.
08:26Anyway, the most rewarding part of the day was the volleyball match against our very own Kappa alumni, the class of 48.
08:34Oh, my God.
08:55And guess what?
08:56We won!
08:57Yay!
08:58Yay!
08:59Every year, the highlight of the Kappa Games is at the end of the game,
09:03when we surprised a needy family with $100, and we passed the torch of goodwill.
09:12Yay!
09:13We couldn't catch up with them, so we just kept the money and went out for sushi!
09:28Well, that's it.
09:30Remember, if you're having a bad day, just smile and think of...
09:35The KKK!
09:37Woo!
09:38Woo!
09:39Woo!
09:40Woo!
09:41Woo!
09:42Woo!
09:43Woo!
09:44Woo!
09:45Woo!
09:46Woo!
09:47Woo!
09:48Woo!
09:49Woo!
09:50Woo!
09:51Woo!
09:52Woo!
09:53Woo!
09:54Woo!
09:55Woo!
09:56Woo!
09:57Woo!
09:58Woo!
09:59Woo!
10:00Woo!
10:01Woo!
10:02Woo!
10:03Woo!
10:04Woo!
10:05Woo!
10:06Woo!
10:07Woo!
10:08To disable our weapon and avoid the moon you're scared
10:13W-W-W have our trust
10:17Cause a bird ray like you should at least be fairly just
10:21W-W-W
10:23If you say you have a bomber gun
10:25W-W-W
10:27Stay off of Air Force One
10:29I'll find you next time
10:31This one
10:34I'll find you next time
10:36Beep beep
10:38Beep beep
10:40Beep beep
10:50Beep beep
10:52Beep beep
10:54Beep beep
10:55Beep beep
10:56I don't know.
11:26I don't know.
11:56Oh, my God.
12:26Paul, I'm so excited.
12:39I'm going to New York next week to host Saturday Night Live.
12:42Huh? Huh?
12:43Sir, I'm afraid that this time it's you that's been lied to.
12:47I am a millionaire?
12:49No, I'm afraid Fox has pulled yet another one of their shenanigans.
12:53You're not hosting Saturday Night Live.
12:55You're going to be in a skit on MAD TV.
12:58MAD TV?
13:01No!
13:06What's MAD TV?
13:08Please welcome my new co-host, Mississippi Senator, Tramp-Lot!
13:14I am the, uh, I'm a former racist.
13:17I don't know what's more red, my shirt or your neck.
13:19Go!
13:23You're watching the BET Network, providing quality, intelligent television for the African-American community.
13:29Brought to you by Korea, provider of long, straight hair for today's fashionable black woman.
13:35Also brought to you by the new Nike T-Max.
13:38Looks great on your feet or hanging over your telephone wire.
13:41And now, live from Philadelphia, it's Reality Check, with your hostesses, Tova McQueen and Belma Buttons.
13:49Hey, y'all!
14:02Hey, that's mine now.
14:03I know that's right.
14:04Hey, y'all, I'm Tova McQueen.
14:06And I'm Belma Buttons.
14:07And we're proud to be the only two black women in show business who ain't been arrested for drunk driving.
14:13Diana Ross, I knew she was drunk when she did the whiz.
14:16A 40-year-old woman pretending she's 18, please.
14:19Uh-huh, trust.
14:20And this is Reality Check, the show where you leave your delusions at the door.
14:25Sit your ass on down.
14:27Open up wide for a big slice of truth.
14:30Little side of wisdom.
14:32I love a Jehovah's Witness.
14:33Um, as you know, BET has canceled our show due to low ratings.
14:40Yeah, but then they end up replacing us with a Spike Lee film festival and found out how low ratings can really work.
14:49So now we are back, and BET has agreed to renew our show as long as we agreed to co-host with the man that got them the highest ratings ever.
14:57Yeah, unfortunately, he's white and a racist.
15:00Mm-hmm, so please welcome my new co-host, Mississippi Senator, Tremplot.
15:15If I may, I would like to clarify something from the get-go.
15:18Uh, I am a, uh, uh, reformed racist.
15:22And what's that?
15:23A racist who got taught?
15:26Now, now, now, uh, can't we all, uh, just get along?
15:29Oh, that was my cousin, Ronnie Kay.
15:30That's my cousin.
15:31Shut up.
15:31They beat him and...
15:32Shut up.
15:34Now, since we, uh, decided we would all work together, I thought I'd bring you a little peace offering.
15:39This is from me to you.
15:41That is some fried chicken, watermelon, and pig knuckles.
15:44Pig knuckles.
15:45Ooh, ooh, ooh, child, I just love me some pig knuckles.
15:47Hilma!
15:48Oh, don't you touch it.
15:50That food is an offensive stereotype.
15:53Well, that offensive stereotype has got my stomach rublin'.
15:56I'm about to poot.
15:56I just...
15:57Look at you.
16:01Staring and lusting after that basket like R. Kelly staring and lusting after a Pampers commercial.
16:06Anyway, I can't believe we got a co-host with you.
16:15After what you said on segregation, that we'd be all better off, huh?
16:18Uh, uh, now, uh, ladies, that was a misquote.
16:21I believe I said, uh, at the time, we would be better off, uh, if we went to a soup plantation.
16:27We'd be better off on a plantation?
16:29No, no.
16:30What?
16:30Uh, Tova, girl, a soup plantation isn't an all-you-can-eat salad bar.
16:34They got all kind of eggs and bacon you just put in your mouth and just...
16:37Salad?
16:39I don't know about no salad.
16:40You don't like me no salad.
16:41No, I know that is right.
16:42Now, if it was a Spam plantation, because I love me my Spam-
16:46Belma!
16:48What's that in your mouth?
16:49Tss, tss, tss, tss, tss.
16:51Tss, tss, tss, tss, tss.
16:53that was just the sauce
17:08now look at here ladies I agreed
17:12to co-host this show
17:14as a gesture of goodwill and to
17:17renege on some of the offensive things I may have
17:19said and done well I guess
17:21that just makes you a renege
17:23Belma Eugenia Buttons what I'm black
17:31I can say it
17:32anyway I would like to say
17:43from this point forward I am dedicating
17:45myself to furthering the
17:47negroid agenda
17:48I will personally
17:51guarantee that certain facilities will be designated just for you people for instance we're
17:56gonna make sure you have your own swimming pools and your own drinking fountains
17:59isn't that taking us a step backwards
18:04no actually it isn't because this time there will be water in them
18:07girl I'm getting lightheaded
18:12are you thinking what I'm thinking
18:14girl it's time to get the white out because there's a big mistake here
18:19three
18:19two
18:20one
18:21lynch him
18:21treadlock the KK cleaners call
18:24your sheets are ready go you know what you're the worst thing for civil rights since the Wayne
18:30Brady show go
18:33DC all right prejudice cracker
18:37I don't know what's more red my shirt or your neck go
18:42and welcome to integration
18:47why integrate my big fat black foot and your crusty nasty stupid
18:52ignorant dog country flat white eggs
18:59and I'm stupid
19:03oh my god relapse
19:04oh what what
19:07Tova all this racist talk got my acid reflex kicking
19:10only thing that's gonna fix it is some chicken
19:13all right amen to that
19:15and you know what
19:16you sit there and you think about what we said
19:19Trent Lott
19:20and P.S.
19:21I'm not eating your chicken because I'm black
19:24I'm eating your chicken because I'm fat
19:28well this has been Reality Check
19:32and we are through
19:33thank you Colonel
19:34oh
19:41damn you digger
19:47it's chat time
19:49starring the reigning region of ral ball
19:51and the new legend of late night
19:53Shakyl o'neal
19:56Brown or more like a hazel
19:59Brown!
20:00Hazel!
20:01No rasp, bud!
20:02How many times has this happened to you?
20:10Wow, this water's refreshing, but kind of plain.
20:13And this powdered iced tea mix is tasty, but dry.
20:18If only there was a way for Spishak to combine these two complimentary tastes into one convenient summer beverage.
20:24Sorry, you're on your own now.
20:26Spishak to create sensible products.
20:29So how many times has this happened to you?
20:32Come along, friend.
20:33We're late for the amusement park.
20:35I've just got a call in sick to work.
20:37It's ringing.
20:42I hope this isn't some sort of liar.
20:48Hello?
20:49Boss speaking.
20:50Hello, boss.
20:50This is your worker, Marshall.
20:52Marshall, you are not at your work.
20:54What is your excuse?
20:56Well, I, um, uh, my stupid brain was too slow to come up with an excuse.
21:03Way to go, idiot.
21:04Now we'll never get to the amusement park.
21:07I wish you were dead.
21:08If only there was a way for Spishak to create a method for me to make up believable, not nervous excuses so I can miss work.
21:19Well, say hello to Spishak's excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, 98.
21:28How will this help my stupid friend's dilemma?
21:31Surprisingly simple.
21:33Now it's clear.
21:34Simply insert the excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, 98 excuse tape into the contraption and call your boss again.
21:41Hello, boss speaking.
21:54Hello, boss speaking.
21:56Boss, this is Marshall.
21:59Marshall, you are still not at your work.
22:01What is your excuse?
22:02And this time it better be good.
22:05Um, I have...
22:07Press play.
22:08Who's there with you?
22:10Press play.
22:12I have...
22:13Blood in my stool.
22:16I feel better.
22:20Marlene, send Marshall some flowers.
22:22He has blood in his stool.
22:23Say, I'd like to have excuses, too, so I don't have to go to church.
22:28Well, now there is.
22:30Ping, here you go.
22:32Try new lady excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, 98 with excuses just for her.
22:51Hello, priest speaking.
22:54Hello, this is parishioner Paula, and I will not be at church due to the fact that I have...
22:59Ladies Polio.
23:02That is a great excuse.
23:04Thank you for calling.
23:07Marlene, please send a new blouse to parishioner Paula.
23:11She has ladies polio.
23:13Wow, thanks, Bishak.
23:17Excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses.
23:21Has got a few uses where you want to miss work, church or school.
23:27Spishak Hotel, they got the indoor store.
23:30And you're a little boy.
23:32And you're a little boy.
23:33And you're a little boy.
23:33And you're a little boy.
23:35And you're a little boy.
23:35Yes, sir.
23:36Monday night at 11 on UPN.
23:52A new talk show from the producers of The Magic Johnson Show.
23:55But this time, we got us a winner.
23:58Can you dig it?
23:59It's Shaq time.
24:03Starring the reigning region of Rail Ball and the new legend of late night, Shaquille O'Neal.
24:11At my side, his legendary play-by-player announcer.
24:14And yes, man, Marl Albert.
24:16I am him at his side.
24:19Yes!
24:21Fitness guru Richard Simmons is showing Shaq on the Kismich.
24:25Shaq, Shaquille, it's like I tell everyone that comes to me for help.
24:32You are the master of your own destiny.
24:38You are one silly little bitch.
24:41Yes!
24:41One silly little bitch.
24:45Shaq welcomes his classic character, Shabraniac.
24:48The smartest man in the universe.
24:51Oh, great and wise Shabraniac.
24:53Impart upon us your phenomenal knowledge of all things past and present.
25:01I forgot what I was supposed to say.
25:05Pothead diva Macy Gray joins Shaq in a duet.
25:08I try to walk away and I stumble.
25:14And one day it's clear.
25:18You've been smoking weed since you got hurt.
25:21Ha, ha, ha, ha.
25:23Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein drops by as Shaq goes to the free throw line for the free world.
25:30So what you're saying is, if I make this free throw, you destroy all your weapons of master structure?
25:36Sure.
25:50Yes!
25:51from downtown
26:05and it counts
26:07it's sack time
26:09weeknights at 11
26:10on UPN
26:12can you dig it
26:15Dorothy Lanier
26:22is back on time
26:24not one
26:27two lines on
26:29Spongebob
26:30welcome to politically incorrect
26:35I'm Bill Maher
26:37joining me tonight is a once in a lifetime
26:39panel to my left
26:41former president of the United States
26:44and Harlem keg master
26:45Bill Clinton
26:46also joining me is an actor
26:57who has portrayed the role of
26:59Frasier Crane for over 72 years
27:02Kelsey Grammer
27:04talk show host
27:11and media hog
27:13Oprah Winfrey
27:14and finally
27:22an actress who can look really hot
27:24in the right light
27:25Drew Barrymore
27:27apparently this is not the right light
27:36okay welcome everyone
27:40an article in today's New York Times claims that marriage is making a comeback
27:47now is this a real trend or is this just insecure people responding to insecure times
27:54oh shoot
27:55I've always believed in marriage Bill
27:58heck half the women I've been with are married
27:59no I'm just kidding
28:02I'm just kidding
28:03I'm just kidding
28:03no but seriously
28:04no seriously
28:05three quarters of the women I've been with are married
28:07no I'm just messing around
28:09come on
28:09it's just a TV show
28:10let's have some fun
28:11come on
28:11Bill
28:12I will not marry a man that does nothing but walk around my house with no pants on all day long
28:18you know big brother's gut hanging out
28:20drinking red bull eating fudge
28:21I've had it
28:22do you feel me
28:22do you feel me
28:23I think marriage is back because love is back
28:29it got all weird when love was gone
28:34love left because we yelled at it
28:37we called it stupid and sad
28:40but now it's back
28:46so don't call it names
28:48I'm serious
28:50hey Drew
28:53Ann Hase just called
28:55I think your spaceship is ready
28:57he's here
29:00hey if this is you sober
29:06sugar I suggest you start drinking again
29:07well I believe in marriage
29:11for I have found my true love
29:13in my beautiful wife Camille
29:15oh please come on
29:17I saw your true love
29:20in a soft core porn movie
29:22well she is now working exclusively in legitimate film
29:25hey Kelsey I saw one of those legitimate films
29:28it was called a beautiful behind
29:30you get it
29:30a beautiful mouth
29:31and I'm not kidding
29:35just kidding
29:37I'm just kidding
29:38you never tell when I'm telling the truth
29:40so I'm having a great time
29:43personally I am never getting married
29:48and I'll tell you why
29:49the fact of the matter is
29:51that most wives are uncomfortable
29:54with their husbands sleeping with Asian whores
29:58let me tell you something Billy
30:01you should have married Hillary
30:02she lets me get away with whatever I like
30:03because you know
30:04she's got her own deal
30:05you know what
30:07if Hillary were a man
30:09I would marry her like that
30:10she's got her own job
30:12she's powerful
30:12and she wears pants
30:13you guys
30:16marriage is magical
30:18my first one was so sweet
30:23it was the best 18 days of my life
30:27hey honey
30:29I got a couple extra free hours this afternoon
30:31why don't you and I get married
30:32I'm just kidding honey
30:34no I'm just
30:35I'm not kidding
30:36it's just a joke
30:36come on brown sugar
30:37come on you know you want to laugh
30:38don't call me brown sugar
30:39come on let's hear it
30:40come on everyone
30:41my name is Oprah
30:42don't call me brown sugar
30:43I would get married in a heartbeat
30:47but the idiot that sits on my toilet
30:49all day long playing game boy
30:51will not get his act together
30:52and I am this close to saying
30:53Stedman
30:54if you don't put on a pair of pants
30:57and get your proverbial
30:58together
30:59I swear to God
31:00I will build and marry a robot
31:02well Oprah
31:06you've got to communicate that to him
31:08communication is the key
31:10I have a beautiful marriage
31:12because I have a clear
31:13and open line of communication
31:15with my wife's pimp
31:16sugar nuts
31:17hey Crazier
31:18is that tasty wife of yours
31:20hanging around here someplace
31:21as a matter of fact
31:23my raison d'etre
31:25is just beyond the cameras over there
31:28wow
31:30wow
31:32and it appears my soul mate
31:36is mating with another soul
31:38hey Kelsey
31:40what say we get that sweet piece
31:41of cotton candy over here
31:42and see if we can't have
31:43it's a good time
31:43hey director
31:46can we get some mood music
31:47or something like that
31:48Miss Barrymore
31:55Miss Barrymore
31:55if it doesn't defend you
31:56maybe you could add
31:57an extra pair of hands
31:58how about an extra pair of these
32:03on Joe Millionaire
32:16we told 20 beautiful women
32:17that a blue collar construction worker
32:19was worth 50 million dollars
32:20we lied
32:21okay that was wrong
32:23we're sorry we lied
32:25that's why we've created a new show
32:27no place like home
32:28this heartwarming program
32:29brings some light into the lives
32:31of sad hispanic orphans
32:32hey
32:33guess what you guys
32:34I have some really good news
32:37you're all going to be adopted
32:39by wealthy families
32:41oh yes
32:42now
32:43get all dolled up
32:44cause they're gonna pick you up
32:45on the corner of
32:46Noe and Jose
32:47another lie
32:53we gotcha
32:54and the line continues
32:56on Leap of Faith
32:57these skydivers think
32:58they're equipped with parachutes
32:59but their backpacks are really
33:01filled with stanky bedsheets
33:02what a good lie that is
33:04oh and what about
33:06Lunches on Us
33:07the show where we promise
33:08to give a homeless man
33:09a delicious club sandwich
33:10he got his sandwich
33:11alright
33:12a knuckle sandwich
33:13we lied
33:14and we kicked his ass
33:16we told this little boy
33:18that his dead dog Sparky
33:20was coming home
33:20we lied
33:21and this wasn't even a show
33:23we went on a date
33:25with this woman
33:25it went really well
33:27we slept with her
33:28we told her we'd call her
33:29the next day
33:30we never did
33:31we told this chump
33:34he had a chance in life
33:35we told this girl
33:37she didn't look fat
33:38we tapped this guy
33:40on the shoulder
33:40when he turned around
33:42we went to the other side
33:44Fox
33:46we lie
33:47you watch
33:49some of our
33:57stiffest competition
33:58came from the sisters
33:59at Zeta Iota Tau
34:01or as we like to call them
34:03Zits
34:04now the Zits
34:10may not be the most
34:11popular sorority
34:12on campus
34:12but oh my god
34:13are they strong
34:14during tug of war
34:16we were losing
34:17big time
34:18come on girls
34:19muscle up girls
34:20come on girls
34:23they're stealing
34:24from baby
34:25hi
34:25he's not a bear
34:27but we ended up
34:32winning anyway
34:33fall
34:35young people
34:36never
34:41again
34:42second
34:42jack
34:43x
34:43homo
34:44high
34:44the
34:45back
34:45hare
34:45the
34:46of
34:47その
34:48more
34:49chasing
34:50tale
34:51is
34:5227
34:52dust
34:53name
34:53ses
34:54beat
34:55state
34:56as
34:56前