- 6 months ago
On the French-speaking planet of Franzia, Phink distracts the other racers with the screeching music of the Phantom of the Space Opera.
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00:00It's travel blasting in from deep space, racing from distant galaxies, it's Space Race!
00:30Right on!
01:00My name is Captain Good.
01:07My name is Captain Good.
01:09Only one of these contestants is Captain Good.
01:12The other two are imposters and did not author this testimonial.
01:16I, Captain Good, am the great guardian of goodness and doer of good deeds.
01:21Last year, I captured 756 evil villains, rescued 300 damsels in distress,
01:29and bench pressed three African hippos, setting superhero records for all.
01:35Signed, Captain Good, doer of good deeds.
01:38And now, will the real Captain Good please stand up?
01:43Is it number one?
01:45Howdy.
01:46Number two?
01:47Hi, Wendy.
01:49Or number three?
01:51Tis I, hip hip, three hippos and hooray!
01:56Indeed it is, Captain Good.
01:59And we're all here for the pasteurized powerhouse action of the one, the only, Space Race.
02:05Today's race goes deep in the Gallic galaxy to the planet Fronzia, a futuristic land colonized by descendants of our own Earth, France.
02:15Fronzia, refuted home of the Phantom of the Space Opera and the Crunch Rock of Novocaine.
02:23And don't forget today's winner receives a whoop-dee-doo hot diggity dog groovy prize.
02:28Two first class tickets on the maiden voyage of the Zoncord, the most luxurious jet craft in space.
02:34Neat!
02:35Our course starts on the straightaway of the Shon's Uranus, past the shores of Gitchy Goomy, through the Sparky Triumph, and to the finish at the Trifle Tower.
02:45Now down to the starting line for Blast Off!
02:49First in the lead are Captain Good and Clean Cat.
02:52Say a quick hello to all the kiddies in Space Band, Clean Cat.
02:59Stop hamming, Clean Cat, before I trade you in on an empty turn.
03:03Just behind in second place is that flying fish, Jabba-Jaw!
03:07Fish nothing? I'm a shark!
03:09What comes about a little respect?
03:14Hold on, Captain, I'm sure! I gotta tail me in the...
03:17You certainly do, quack-up!
03:19Look at that thorn fly!
03:21Ain't that the truth?
03:23Giddy-up, cows! I'll catch him!
03:26Don't say giddy-up to me, knock-it-nose! I'm no horse!
03:30Well, how's about faster? Pretty, please?
03:33Way, way at the back! It's Yogi and Scare Bear!
03:37Faster, Scare Bear! Yeah, I like to put a little bear grease in it!
03:40I am! Stop nagging! Oh, you're such a bossy!
03:44As they race down Sean's Uranus, Captain Good is pulling ahead!
03:48Thank goodness that no good Phantom Pink is nowhere in sight!
03:53Really? I mean, really! Little do they know that I, Captain Good, am really!
04:00Sludge, what am I?
04:13Good question! Half-mutt, half-Earthworm!
04:17Speak of the pink! It's that master of evil himself! And Psychic Sludge!
04:23I wonder what nastiness they have planned!
04:26Buzz up, you bozo! Why don't you have one of your beanbag biographies?
04:31Oh, beanbags! Those are so much fun!
04:35Boy, they make great chairs! I love to just kind of sit with them!
04:39Knock it off, Sludge! And make a beeline for...
04:42Novocaine Space Hydral!
04:45Not the Novocaine Space Hydral! That's the home of the Crunch Rock of Novocaine!
04:50Maybe we'd better take time for one of our beanbag biographies!
04:54I mean, one of our award-winning biographies!
04:59Yes, ad-lib cheering fans, it's that time again!
05:03This week we look at that dashing duck with the dynamite disposition, Quackup!
05:08Quackup's military precision in following orders made him a natural for the rigors of space travel!
05:15All systems go! A-OK! And then she goes!
05:19Real good, Quackup! Now keep me posted!
05:23Sure, Captain Hook! Sure, whatever you say!
05:31Ah, Quackup! He sure can take an order!
05:36When emergencies occur in space, Quackup's easy-going nature and calm disposition rise up to meet the crisis!
05:44Quackup! Quackup! Quackup! Quackup! Quackup!
05:45I'm sure if everything will be OK, all right…
05:47Quackup! WhiteAAAa-Q!
05:48I'm sure you'll be OK, all right!
05:50Quackup! Quackup!
05:51Quackup! Quackup!
05:53He's the kind of duck who can really use his head!
05:57Quackup! Quackup!
05:58Go get a hold of this!
05:59Quackup! Quackup!
06:01And there he goes!
06:02He's really a birdbrain...
06:05I mean, really a brainy bird!
06:07Meanwhile, back at the race.
06:09Meanwhile, nothing!
06:10Nothing. After a quick word with the Crunch Rock, this race will be a one-fink show.
06:17Yeah. Do you tap dance and do impressions and stuff?
06:21Hey, I bet you can't do jab or jaw.
06:24I guess he don't like fish.
06:27It's those bad doggy jokes I can't stand.
06:31Now, keep an eye out for the Crunch Rock.
06:33He's nine feet tall, weighs 700 pounds, and is the meanest and ugliest creature in space.
06:41Well, how will I recognize him?
06:43He's wearing a hat.
06:46Oh, no! That foul pink rocket is approaching the Novocaine Space Hydro.
06:50I can't bear to watch what's in store.
06:53Ha-ha! That turkey gobble!
06:56Now's our chance for a quick change.
06:58Push the button, sludgy, and then...
07:03Captain Good, doer of good deeds at your service.
07:12Ouch!
07:13Oh, I got such a toothache.
07:18Toothache, you say?
07:20Well, fear not, Crunch Baby,
07:22for not only am I Galaxy Good Guy and doer of good deeds friend,
07:26but also...
07:28Ha-ha! Yes!
07:30Your crunchness, good guess.
07:32Dr. Ken Sleazam, credit dentist.
07:36Oh, doctor.
07:40Yes, I know. Relief already.
07:43New to town? No money? No credit? Slightly homely?
07:47It's no bummer with Dr. Sleazam.
07:50We carry out our own contracts.
07:52None of that old-fashioned X-ray stuff either.
07:55Dr. Sleazam diagnoses by the stars.
07:57You, my friend, I can see, are going to need help right away.
08:02Aquarius with a rising fern.
08:05If you've ever had a rising fern, you know how painful those can be.
08:09Oh, doctor.
08:12And don't forget, all our assistants are real beauties.
08:15You'll see no dogs at Dr. Sleazam's.
08:18I'm a dog, and I'm...
08:21Yes, each and every one, as lovely as Miss Sludzly here.
08:26Dr. Sleazam has officers to serve you in Universe City, Neptune Beach, Spaceywood, Downtown, and Galaxy Grove.
08:34Complimentary hard candy in every waiting room.
08:37Oh!
08:38Yes, of course.
08:41And remember, wheeze habla es space sola at Dr. Sleazam's.
08:47See?
08:48Oops!
08:49Dr. Sleazam, I need help right away.
08:53Of course you do, Crunch Rock.
08:55But first, Dr. Sleazam needs a little help from you.
08:59Anything.
09:01Anything.
09:03Oh, I have some former patients who just won't pay their bills.
09:07And I think I'm gonna need a little muscle, if you know what I mean.
09:12We see eye to eye.
09:15You mean eye-tooth to eye-tooth.
09:22Evans to Victor Hugo.
09:24The other brave space racers are headed straight towards the Novocaine space hero.
09:29Don't they know the Fink has designed a dirty double-crossing deal inside?
09:34Stay away from there, you guys!
09:36Good idea to take this detour, Wim.
09:39Now we can see the space eadral.
09:41Why, we ain't gonna see nothing.
09:43This space place is filled with e-tourists.
09:47You know, I could have swore I heard somebody yell to stay away.
09:51Like, uh, my smarter-than-average bear-type smartness tells me there's danger amidst our miss.
09:59Danger?
10:00Pull this ship into the space eagles.
10:03That'll be safe.
10:04I've done it again, sludgy.
10:15Once the crunch rock gets finished with them, those space racers will be deep, fat, fried.
10:22That's not so good.
10:24It's got cholesterol and leaves grease stains everywhere.
10:27And I understand it slows you.
10:29Oop!
10:30Knock it off before I flush your fern.
10:32It's time to make tracks, sludgy.
10:35I don't understand him.
10:36He's always telling me, don't make tracks.
10:38Then he says, make tracks.
10:40He says, speak louder.
10:41Then he says, be quiet.
10:42I'm...
10:42Up, up, and away, sludgy.
10:45Tonight I'll be riding on the Zoncord jetliner.
10:48Oh, no!
10:50Trapped inside the space eadral of Novocaine, this could mean disaster.
10:54Will our brave space racers escape the sordid clutches of the evil crunch rock?
10:59Will the phantom fink go on to claim victory at the first prize voyage on the Zoncord jetliner?
11:05You said it, marathon mouth!
11:08Will the crunch rock get his toothache taken care of?
11:11Oh, I hope so.
11:14All this and more when we return to the planet Promsia.
11:19For the uncensored anything-goes-loser-leaves-town conclusion of Space Race.
11:24And remember, kiddies, you two can learn dentistry at home in your spare time.
11:28Write Dr. Sleazam, care of University of El Segundo Deep Space 70212.
11:34Buckle your belts and tune in tight.
11:37It's the homogenized high-speed action of the gold-metal industrial-strength Socket Tuum second half of Space Race.
11:46Today's jaunt is on the planet Promsia, a French-speaking culture deep in the Gallic galaxy.
11:51When we last left our intrepid space racers, they were innocently trapped in the space-heatral of Novocaine.
11:59A mystical space structure and secret haunt of the infamous Crunch Rock and part-time bell ringer.
12:05Oh, Doctor.
12:07And a roaring space villain with a nasty toothache.
12:12Many miles away, another villain raced by the shores of Gitchi Gumi to increase his lead.
12:18Ayo-wasa?
12:19Yes, space fans, Phantom Fink and Sludge, those creepy comrades in crime, cruised effortlessly along to the finish.
12:27And the first prize voyage on the Zoncord, the newest aircraft in space.
12:32Ha-ha.
12:33Well, Sludgy, it's all down here from here.
12:37It is?
12:38Gee, it looks pretty flat to me.
12:40Maybe a few rolling pastures in the distance, but basically it's pretty flat.
12:45Stop hamming, Sludge, before I warp your wigwam.
12:49Terror! Terror!
12:51As terror cried out from within, the only man capable of saving the day, Captain Good, that cosmic commander of courage, was nowhere in sight.
13:01Wait a minute.
13:01Wait a minute.
13:02We're getting a message from El Fabuloso, our computer official.
13:05Brrrr.
13:06Brrrr.
13:07Brrrr.
13:07Brrrr.
13:07Brrrr.
13:08Brrrr.
13:08Brrrr.
13:08Brrrr.
13:09Brrrr.
13:10Brrrr.
13:11Brrrr.
13:12Brrrr.
13:12Brrrr.
13:13Brrrr.
13:14Brrrr.
13:14El Fabuloso's native tongue is space Spanish, and I'm afraid I'm going to do a translation.
13:20Brrrr.
13:21And El Fabuloso has detested cheating.
13:24Brrrr.
13:24Brrrr.
13:25Captain Good is not a superhero good guy.
13:27Brrrr.
13:28Brrrr.
13:28He is really phantom freak in disguise.
13:31Brrrr.
13:32Brrrr.
13:32Captain Good is a faker.
13:34Brrrr.
13:34Brrrr.
13:35Brrrr.
13:35Brrrr.
13:36Brrrr.
13:36Brrrr.
13:37Brrrr.
13:37Brrrr.
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13:40Brrrr.
13:40Brrrr.
13:41Brrrr.
13:41Brrrr.
13:42Brrrr.
13:43Brrrr.
13:44Brrrr.
13:45Brrrr.
13:46Brrrr.
13:47Brrrr.
13:48Brrrr.
13:49Brrrr.
13:50Brrrr.
13:51Brrrr.
13:52Brrrr.
13:53Brrrr.
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13:55Brrrr.
13:56Brrrr.
13:57Brrrr.
13:58Brrrr.
13:59Brrrr.
14:00Brrrr.
14:01Brrrr.
14:02Brrrr.
14:03Brrrr.
14:04Brrrr.
14:05Brrrr.
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14:07Brrrr.
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14:09Brrrr.
14:10Brrrr.
14:11Brrrr.
14:12Brrrr.
14:13Brrrr.
14:14Brrrr.
14:15Yes, one of my extra added talents I picked up while studying under my distant cousin.
14:21You guessed it, Captain Abdul Schwartz Good at his superhero snake charming school high in the Himalayas.
14:35And to all the little kiddies listening, not only in America, but throughout space,
14:40let me make one thing perfectly fair.
14:43Your captain is not a crook.
14:46And just to prove it, I'm off to do a good deed.
14:49Maestro, please.
14:56Oh, Doctor.
14:59Oh, if only Captain Good were here, he'd save us.
15:02No sooner said than done for a second time.
15:06Captain Good, I had a feeling you were bad.
15:09Yes, I can see.
15:11And I'd have that feeling looked into if I were you.
15:15Oh, a little dental joke there.
15:17I was just about to collect for Dr. Sleazam on his pass-through account.
15:24Do something, Captain Good.
15:26I don't want to be crunched like a grape.
15:29Ain't it the truth?
15:30Fear not, my spacey little friend, for with my patented emergency tooth extraction system,
15:38I'll cure your problems and yours, too.
15:42Now, let me just tie one end on your bad tooth, and it's anchor the way.
15:52Let's get out of here.
15:54Go, stupid, go.
15:57What does a dog say, Yogi?
16:03I don't know exactly, but my smarter and average type smartness tells me he's on the right track.
16:10Follow that bear.
16:12Now, be good, you little friend.
16:14And just to show you where my heart is, I'll give you a head start.
16:20I know where my heart is.
16:23It's right here in my ribcage, a little bit to the left.
16:25Into the rocket, sludgy.
16:28It's time to play catch-up.
16:31Catch-up?
16:32Oh, I wonder if that's anything like hide-and-seek.
16:35I get to be it.
16:37Hey, you guys.
16:39You guys down there.
16:41Let me down.
16:44Let me down.
16:46Sorry, Crunchy.
16:47But don't bother us with your hang-ups.
16:49Get yourself a space psycho.
16:51Mush-doggy.
16:54Hooray!
16:56It's the Fink.
16:57Captain Good must have even rescued him.
16:59What a competitor.
17:01They're coming up on the finish now.
17:02It's just past the space opera, then on to the wire.
17:06It's still any man's race.
17:08Any man except noble Captain Good, who sacrificed his lead to save the others.
17:13Well, you know what they say.
17:15Lose a captain, gain a fink.
17:20I didn't know they said that.
17:22I thought they say scattered showers, partially blurry, making old children wear garages because...
17:28Knock it off, slutty.
17:29If I want a weather report, I'll buy a paper.
17:33I don't know how he made this fluid and pig Latin, but what good will it do him to buy a paper here?
17:38He can't read French.
17:40As our racers approach the space opera house, perhaps the most treacherous danger of all lies ahead.
17:47The Phantom of the Space Opera.
17:50We've brought our space woman here by the opera house, not only for the various and sundry thrills,
18:00but to demonstrate the new Schlemmer X recording tape.
18:04The tape's so real that we defy you to tell the difference between that and the real space fandom.
18:09Ready, pal?
18:11Ready, Joyce.
18:14Is it real, or is it Schlemmer X?
18:16Ah, there's the space opera now, slutty.
18:20With my bickety earplugs on, slutty, we'll cruise past the opera house like a breeze.
18:27Well, well, boss, I'm not wearing someone else's earplugs.
18:31That's unsanitary besides Earth.
18:34All right, I'll wear them.
18:37They're passing the space heat roll, and the space fandom has started her deathly howl.
18:42Nagi, we're vibrating from the whistle.
18:44Oh, that ain't no whistle.
18:46It's the phantom of the space opera, and the ship's fixing to split.
18:50You know I'd like to split.
18:52Why, that's not Schlemmer X.
18:54And it's not in the script, either.
18:56That piercing howl of the space phantom is getting ready to shatter the rockets.
19:00Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, she's singing our tunes.
19:04No problem for the fink, and sludge, we're wearing earplugs.
19:10They might not hear the space phantom, but their rocket will buckle up just the same.
19:15Say, quods up, don't let these fishers get out of hand.
19:18No shirt, Captain Hook shirt.
19:20I'm not out of my hand.
19:22No shirt, no shirt.
19:24Buford, do something.
19:26These fishes are getting fishy.
19:32I never watched much of a fan for opera.
19:36I'm so scared.
19:38I've got the shipping's all over.
19:42Methinks this was not in the script.
19:46Heavens to Vigoro.
19:48This certainly isn't in the script.
19:50The rockets are starting to break up.
19:52Oh, I'm so broken up.
19:54This is a disaster.
19:56There'll be no disaster
19:58with old Nugget Nose around.
20:02While with my Dodge City anti-zone or sonar,
20:06I'll put it into that whaling witch.
20:16That ain't slimericks.
20:18It's the real thing.
20:20Frenzy and frenzy.
20:22The great galloping ghost has done it again.
20:24His Dodge City anti-sonar sonar
20:26has crumbled the space opera
20:28and saved the day.
20:30Can I take the air plugs out now, boss?
20:34It's clear sailing to the finish now.
20:36The rockets are running neck and neck.
20:38Faster, faster.
20:40Don't waste your breath, Pink.
20:42Coming across the finish,
20:44it's Huck and Quacka.
20:46Huckleberry Hound and Quacka
20:48win today's space race.
20:50Well, Spacelings, that's it from planet Pronzia.
20:52But remember, space race reruns,
20:54I mean, returns next week
20:56with more gold medals galaxy gyrations.
20:58Now let's pick up Huckleberry Hound and Quacka
21:00collecting their first prize trip on the Zoncord.
21:02Next time, Quacka,
21:04let's play the game.
21:06The game is playing the game.
21:08The game is playing the game.
21:10The game is playing the game.
21:12The game is playing the game.
21:14The game is playing the game.
21:16The game is playing the game.
21:18Next time, Quacka,
21:20let's try and get in the Zoncord,
21:22not on it.
21:24What kind of prize is this?
21:26Let me out of here!
21:28Help! Help! Let me out!
21:30hug!
21:38.
21:40.
21:44.
21:48.
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