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  • 6 months ago
Winners: Captain Good and Clean Kat.
Prize: A ride at a cruise boat. Trouble: They had to travel with the cargo.

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Transcript
00:00It's travel blasting in from deep space, racing from distant galaxies, it's Space Race!
00:30Right on!
00:55Time!
01:25A strange space culture bearing an uncanny resemblance to that of our own ancient Rome.
01:33Today's peril-kill race winds from the mighty Spartacan Colosseum across the aqueducts,
01:39through the Circus Maximinimus, and into the haunted catacombs,
01:43reputed resting place of the monster Minotaur.
01:48If you believe in that stuff, that is.
01:50Oh, I believe, I believe!
01:55Why, that sounds like Scare Bear!
02:02It is! Here comes our galactic gladiators now!
02:05Yogi Bear and Scare Bear!
02:12Jabber Jaws and Buford!
02:14Huckleberry Hound and Quacker!
02:20Wendy, Rita, and Nugget Nose!
02:26Friends to man and beast alike!
02:28Captain Good and King Cat!
02:32That's me, right on and groovy!
02:35Or is it left and swell?
02:37Coming up last, and in my book least, The Phantom Think and Sludge!
02:45Who's read your book anyway?
02:47I haven't.
02:48Of course not, Sludge! Dogs don't read!
02:51Oh.
02:52As usual, our space race winner will receive a neat old groovy swell prize!
03:00Today's prize is...
03:04A two-week galaxy cruise aboard the luxury starfighter Mercury to Jupiter!
03:09Or, uh, is it Jupiter to Mercury?
03:11Oh, well.
03:12Outside the Spartacan Spaceyceum, the racers are going over last-minute strategy.
03:20There's Captain Good and Clean Cat!
03:22Where?
03:24Oh, yes, of course.
03:26My strategy is quite simple.
03:28First, I'll gyronebulate with a high-energy stratoburst,
03:32followed by an ultramagnetic ionification,
03:35ending up with a dino-orbital nuculification,
03:38all in the key of sea, I might add.
03:40Hmm...
03:42Well, maybe d.
03:43What a sham!
03:45How about you, Yogi?
03:46Is that how you describe your strategy?
03:49Describe it?
03:50Yeah, I...
03:51I can't even pronounce it.
03:52Me neither.
03:53I'm scared of big words.
03:56There's the huck and quack-up racer next to the ancient Spaceyceum wall.
04:00I wonder how it feels being so close to such a priceless antique.
04:05I'm sorry, but with blast-off a few seconds away,
04:08I don't have time to talk about antiques.
04:10Head quack-up.
04:12Yes, sir!
04:13I'll give it a good one, sir!
04:15Yes, sir!
04:16I'll shout it to him, all right!
04:25Uh-oh.
04:26Better send me the bill.
04:28There they go!
04:30First out of the Spaceyceum is the galloping ghost rocket!
04:33Yee-hee!
04:34Yaa-hoo-ee!
04:35Go, the gals!
04:38Go!
04:39Cool it, Nagi!
04:40I'm piloting this rocket!
04:42Oh, doggone women winning, rocket rolling, space spinning!
04:47A ghost can't do nothing these days!
04:49You know, Wendy, there's nothing worse than a backseat gladiator.
04:53I'll say!
04:54Follow that chariot!
04:57What's your hurry?
04:58Uh, don't you know speeding is dangerous?
05:01The racers are barreling through downtown Sportica, heading for the aqueducts.
05:07He did say aqueduct, didn't he?
05:10You know what that means, clean cat.
05:13No.
05:14Just push the button.
05:19Ha-ha-ha-ha!
05:20It's Phantom Fink and Sludge!
05:23Why not Sludge and Phantom Fink?
05:25Fink takes second billing to a dog?
05:28Have you lost your marbles?
05:30Uh, I don't play marbles.
05:32Move it, Sludge!
05:33There's Finkery to be funked!
05:39Ha-ha-ha!
05:40Now to open the floodgates and wash those suckers away!
05:44Here they come, Sludge!
05:46Duck!
05:49Thank goodness there's no aqua in the aqueduct.
05:52Eh, Quackup?
05:53Yes, sir!
05:54Thank you!
05:55Thank goodness, indeed!
05:57Eh, uh, whose goodness?
05:59Ha-ha!
06:00How about a little duck in the aqua?
06:03Ha-ha-ha!
06:04Quack, quack, quack, quack!
06:05Ho-ho-hee-hee!
06:07Ha-ha-ha-ho!
06:08Oh!
06:09Oh!
06:10I take to aqueducts like a fish to water!
06:14Ha-ha-ha!
06:15All right, Sludgey!
06:17Let her pour!
06:19Ha-ha-ha-ha!
06:20Get it?
06:21Pour!
06:22Ha-ha-ha!
06:23Yeah!
06:24Ha-ha-ha-ha!
06:25Ha-ha-ha-ha!
06:28How do you like that, Scare Bear?
06:30Yeah, we're in the last place!
06:32It don't bother me none.
06:33It-it's quiet back here!
06:35Oh, look now! Here comes a tidal wave! Back up!
06:41I don't do the backstroke!
06:50Hovering hovercraft!
06:52Washed up already while Phantom Pink sits high and dry?
06:56What horror!
06:58What horror!
06:59Let's break from the excitement for a moment
07:01with one of our patented space race biographies.
07:05This week, Wendy and Rita.
07:10On Mr. Fuddy's Dude Ranch,
07:12Rita's clear head and Wendy's resourcefulness
07:14made them naturals as first-rate recreation directors.
07:22How do you say stop and Bronco talk?
07:25Whoa, Bronco, whoa!
07:28Oh!
07:33Working indoors at the ranch,
07:35Wendy and Rita's talents put icing on Mr. Fuddy's cake.
07:39Why, you girls, I oughta...
07:41Oh!
07:43Oh!
07:44Oh!
07:45Oh!
07:46With their sidekick friend Nugget Nose,
07:49they turned that Arizona Dude Ranch into a real desert oasis.
07:54Okay, Nugget, turn it on!
07:56Aye-yi, gals!
07:57Aye-yi, gals!
08:04Now back to the race,
08:05where thanks to a clack and the aqueduct plumbing,
08:08our racers were saved from being washed out!
08:14We picked them up on their way to the Circus Maximinimus,
08:17the next leg of the race.
08:18Did he say circus?
08:20Oh, boy!
08:21Oh, boy!
08:22I always wanted to go to a circus!
08:24Oh!
08:25Me too!
08:26Let's go see the clowns!
08:35I'll fix those clowns!
08:37Floor it, slugs!
08:38And turn on the pollution while you're ready!
08:43Oh, no!
08:44What foul deed does the fink have up his sleeve now?
08:47Oh, oh, wild boy!
08:48Let me see!
08:49Let me see!
08:50Let me see!
08:51Knock it off, sludge!
08:52Can't you see I'm finking?
08:55Forbidden catacombs, eh?
08:57That oughta be a real circus!
09:01Scenic route to circus!
09:03Space racers, welcome!
09:07Now for a quick change!
09:09Change?
09:10But this is the only suit I've got!
09:12Not that kind of change, you ninny!
09:15Hit the button!
09:17Oh!
09:23Catacombs!
09:24Well, clean cat, this must be the place!
09:29Come back up, clean cat!
09:30You'll miss the minotaur!
09:32No way!
09:33Help!
09:34I knew I should've gotten a dog!
09:39Hmm!
09:40According to my Captain Good's guidebook to goons, the minotaur is a creature with the body of a man and the head of a bull!
09:48That's no bull!
09:51I mean, that's no bull!
09:54You must be the minotaur!
09:56How do you do?
09:57I'm Captain Good, internationally acclaimed good guy!
10:00Watch, clean cat, how I address him in his native Latin tongue!
10:04Li blitzo el de plazo!
10:06Li cuero de campte de buree!
10:07Lasagna el motote caesar salad!
10:08Hmm?
10:09I've come to warn you about some space settlers!
10:10A nasty lot who've come to turn your comb into jellybean farms!
10:11Oh, yeah?
10:12Well, I'll fix that!
10:13I knew he would!
10:14As I always tell a clean cat, a minotaur's home is his castle!
10:21Now, if you'll excuse me, I hate the sight of jelly!
10:24This sure is a dark place to have a circus!
10:27I've come to warn you about some space settlers!
10:29A nasty lot who've come to turn your comb into jellybean farms!
10:32Oh, yeah?
10:33Well, I'll fix that!
10:34I knew he would!
10:35As I always tell a clean cat, a minotaur's home is his castle!
10:38Now, if you'll excuse me, I hate the sight of jelly!
10:41This sure is a dark place to have a circus!
10:43I'll say!
10:44This don't look like no circus I've ever seen!
10:47Oh, I'm scared!
10:48I'm scared!
10:49He's scarred!
10:50He's scarred than the average bear!
10:52Yikes!
10:53It's the space gladiator!
10:54Space age gladiator nothing!
10:56That's a Spartacan miniature!
10:57Head for the hill!
10:58Oh, you heard the man, Buford!
10:59Go!
11:00Go, you moon dog!
11:01Go!
11:02Go!
11:03Go!
11:04Go!
11:05Go!
11:06Go!
11:07Go!
11:08Go!
11:09Go!
11:10Go!
11:11Go!
11:12Go!
11:13Go!
11:14Go!
11:15Go!
11:16Go!
11:17Go!
11:18Go!
11:19Go!
11:20Go!
11:22Go!
11:23Go!
11:24Go!
11:25Go!
11:26Go!
11:27Oh, no!
11:29Maliciously mistaken by the monster minotaur, will our races be captured in a cursed cold catacomb?
11:33All this and more in the priceless, peril-filled conclusion of today's spectacular Space Race.
11:44Don't touch that dial. Don't move from that set.
11:48It's the high-speed energy charge knockout second half of today's powerhouse, Space Race.
11:55Today's Space Race is on the future ancient planet of Sportica.
12:00A distant planet where we left our racers in the haunted catacombs, trapped by the dreaded Minotaur.
12:09Try and turn my home into a jelly bean farm, huh?
12:17Outside, meanwhile, in beautiful downtown Sportica, the Phantom Pink, mastermind of this malicious mess, moves closer to the finish line.
12:26Faster, slutty! I'll do anything to win the prize!
12:31And what a prize it is! A gala cruise to Jupiter aboard the Starliner Mercury!
12:37I can see why he's cheating so hard.
12:39Wrong, Pickle Breath! I cheat this hard always!
12:43Oh, can I come with you on the cruise? Oh, I love the food! Oh, get it, get it, get it!
12:47On the cruise, with me? Ha! No way, sludge! You've got cooties!
12:52And me, but I wear a cootie collar.
12:55Now, back to the catacombs!
13:01Faster, Nuggie! He's gaining on us!
13:04What am I running for?
13:06I'm a ghost!
13:08Hold on there, you miniature!
13:11Nuggie, what are you doing?
13:13There's only one way to stop a Spartacan miniature, and that's with a female Spartacan miniature!
13:20It so happens, I'm carrying one of them gals with me right now!
13:24Before you get so riled up, partner!
13:31Oh, hey there, killer! Haven't we met somewhere before?
13:36Oh, my name's Mena!
13:41Now is our chance! Let's get out of here!
13:44I second the motion! In fact, I thirded! Yay!
13:49Step on it, gals! When that hombre comes true, he'll be meaner than a country rooster!
13:56Oh, don't worry about that, big boy! When Mena bumps him, she does it right!
14:04Oh!
14:06Free from the monster minotaur, our brave pilots once again take to the skies to try and pass the Fink!
14:12Ha! Double ha! No way!
14:15I don't understand. I don't know what he's talking about. I've had a cootie dip. I haven't seen any cooties in years.
14:22I wonder where Captain Goode is!
14:25Oh, is that too goody? If he's so darn good, how come he's never around when that Santa Fink and Sludge are there?
14:32Two's company, and three's a crowd! Hee-hee! Ho-ho-ho-ho!
14:39There's Captain Goode now, changing course! I wonder what's his flight plan?
14:44My flight plan? Simple! Past Mount Spartacus, through the inner stellar arches, and over the hills to Gamma's house we go! La-ti-de-tan-ta! Oh, I love a good nursery rhyme!
14:55Mount Spartacus? Does he know that's the home of the horrible space oracle? Be careful, Captain Goode and clean cat! Of course we shall! Beagle breath!
15:06Beagle breath?
15:08I got our turbo hydrochargers on now, Quackup. Let's blow them away!
15:15Yes, sure, Captain Hook! Blowing, sure! Full steam ahead!
15:23I'm blowing, but it's not doing any good!
15:25Not only that, but he could use a good mouthwash! Yay!
15:29I've got a great idea, Rita! We swing by the volcano and load up on some of that space lava to feed into the engines! What do you say to that?
15:38Oy, friends!
15:40Horrible space oracle! Beware!
15:48Sludge! What are you doing under the seat?
15:52Oh, I'm scared of horrible space oracles!
15:55Oh, sometimes I wish I had a cat!
15:59Why don't me make up as mine cats have goodies, too?
16:02Oh!
16:03Your horrible oracle ship! I've come to enlist your aid! What can I offer you to stop the other space racers?
16:11Bring me the eyes of a five-headed dragon!
16:16Oh, uh, uh, uh, Fink, may I speak to you a moment, please?
16:19But I don't know any dragons, your horrible ship!
16:22Then bring me the nose of a fire-breathing cyclops!
16:27Uh, uh, Fink, may I, please, I gotta go, I gotta go talking!
16:30Sludge! You're becoming a nudge!
16:34But I don't know any cyclopses, either!
16:37Uh, I'm new to town, you see!
16:41Heh heh!
16:43I could, however, arrange for a rare space bear for you as a sacrifice!
16:50Space bear? Let me see!
16:53Wow! Bring me that creature and victory is yours!
17:00And while that awful Fink conspired to offer scare bearers a sacrifice,
17:05little did he know that our space racers had already run into problems of their own!
17:10Where are those boobs?
17:12Stopping for a bite at a roadside cafe, only to find afterwards that their space currency was no longer current!
17:20How embarrassing!
17:22The owners gave them as collateral to the pasta people, who have ways of making people pay!
17:30Try and pull a fast one on us, will ya?
17:34Uh, excuse me, Mr. Pasta Person, um, but you don't have charge accounts now, do ya?
17:39Charge account? We'll teach you to eat and run! Tighten up!
17:45Who's eatin' the runnin'? Hey! How about a little Parmesan, old pasta pal?
17:52Tiger!
17:56Captain God!
17:57You may not remember me, but I'm a famous superhero! A lot of people know my face, but forget my name!
18:05That's why when I travel in outer space, I always carry the Galactic Express credit card!
18:12Brother!
18:13Now charge it! And while you're at it, let my people go!
18:19I knew we could count on Captain Good!
18:22There! He always gets all the credit!
18:25The Galactic Express credit card! Don't leave your planet without it!
18:29Now follow me, pals, for the shortcut! You can't...
18:34Age before beauty, Nagy!
18:38That cockamamie Captain really steams me up!
18:43Temper, temper, rocket breath!
18:49Horrible space oracle, beware! That can't be!
18:53Captain Good wouldn't have led them here!
18:58Uh, I mean, ha-ha-ha-hee-hee-hee!
19:01Oh! This was the longest shortcut I ever seen!
19:05Dang name that Captain fella! He's always givin' us the wrong directions!
19:10Uh, what's goin' on?
19:11Oh, an idiot!
19:12Oh, an honor!
19:13I am the horrible space oracle!
19:17Where is my sacrifice, the native space bear?
19:23Yeah, uh, I was born and raised in, uh, Jellystone Park myself!
19:28There he is! He's mine!
19:31Oh, don't let him take me, guys! I'm so scared!
19:35Nah, don't you worry, Scare! We'll protect you!
19:38Give him to me, or I'll destroy you all!
19:41Well, as long as you put it that way, uh, take him! He's yours!
19:45I never heard of a sacrificial bear before, but this here oracle fella don't look like someone to argue with!
19:52Well, nobody's gettin' sacrificed as long as old Nugget Nose is here!
19:57What are you gonna do, Nugget?
19:59The same thing I did with that old miniature! I'll just pull me out a female oracle from my hat!
20:05Shake it out, shake it up! One female oracle's comin' up!
20:10Ta-da!
20:12Well, sometimes it works, and sometimes it don't!
20:16Ah! The five-headed dragon!
20:19Five-headed dragon?
20:21Leave him, and you are free!
20:24Oh, I don't understand it! That ain't no five-headed dragon!
20:28It is!
20:29Five-headed dragon, step forward!
20:33No way!
20:35The space racers are free from the space oracle!
20:39But will they be able to catch Captain Good and Clean Cat?
20:42Catch the captain?
20:44Impossible!
20:45At the finish, it's gonna be close!
20:48They're neck and neck!
20:49It's... it's Captain Good!
20:51Followed by the five-headed dragon and the rest of the pack behind!
20:56There's the luxury cruiser Mercury right now!
21:09Let's see if we can see Captain Good and Clean Cat on board collecting their prize!
21:14In the hold?
21:16Next time, Clean Cat!
21:18Remember to book in advance!
21:20Roar-roar!
21:22Aaaaaah!
21:23Uh, a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!
21:25THE END
21:55THE END
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