- 1 year ago
Is it better the have another kid now, or wait a few years?
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00:00And of course, brought to you by the American Divorce Association for Men Facing Divorce.
00:26Call the expert attorneys at Adam, 248-356-ADAM.
00:31Did you write that number down?
00:33So I told you, or I asked you, I didn't tell you, I asked you.
00:36Right.
00:37Is Heidi aware that you're going to do this for grounds for divorce?
00:40And you texted her.
00:42Yes.
00:42Now, before, Mr. Springsteen, you had not heard back from her.
00:45Have you heard back from your lovely bride?
00:47Yes, I did.
00:48What's she saying?
00:49She goes, well, you're an ass.
00:54You already read the text on air, so you might as well do it.
00:57Go ahead.
00:58Come on.
00:59Do it.
00:59Do it.
01:00Sorry, I had to edit it a little bit more.
01:01Okay, yeah.
01:03Again.
01:04I'm the sailor on the show, and I cuss.
01:07All the women in your life are more sailor than I ever was.
01:10Yeah.
01:10Crazy.
01:11Had to read that one in my head first.
01:13So, what'd you want to ask?
01:15All right, so, is it too soon for Heidi and I to try for another kid?
01:26Finn is 14 months, and my wife and I, we've been talking about it.
01:31Okay.
01:31Is it the right time?
01:33And then, what are the big things to think about when having that second kid?
01:39Don't worry about the second question, because that all falls under the umbrella of the first part.
01:43Yeah.
01:43Is it too soon to try for another kid?
01:45Yeah.
01:45You guys are thinking about having a second kid?
01:47That's the question.
01:48Yeah, we've been talking about it.
01:53248-398-9279 is our house phone.
01:58I'm telling you, man, we have two boys, Ryan and Adam, and when you have your second kid, it all changes,
02:04because you can play zone defense with one kid.
02:06Yeah.
02:06You got a man-to-man.
02:07It totally changes parenting.
02:09Well, and you spread them out a little bit, right?
02:14Yeah.
02:16A lot.
02:17Yeah.
02:18Eight years?
02:20Oh, it's that?
02:20I didn't realize it was that much.
02:22Okay.
02:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:23Eight years between Ryan and Adam.
02:25248-398-9279 is our house phone.
02:27We're also on Facebook Live right now.
02:29Is it too soon for Ryan and Heidi to try for another kid?
02:32You got a 14-month-old, and what advice do you have?
02:34I was always, like, I know most people want to have a bunch of kids, you know, that the idea is go ahead and knock that out,
02:42because you've already got everything for them.
02:44You know, you just take the crib, you use it for your second kid.
02:47You close it, you know, all the stuff that you've already got.
02:50Right.
02:51So it's easier to do, in theory.
02:53But is there a downside to this?
02:57Heidi already works at home.
02:59Finn's going to have to go somewhere.
03:00Are you going to have two kids at home while she's working?
03:02That's the thing, and there's, you know, the financial, how much more a second kid costs.
03:07You start thinking about daycare and stuff like that for Finn?
03:10I mean, gosh, you might as well send him to college at this age for that.
03:14Pretty much, yeah.
03:15Hey, Jerry.
03:18Hey, Jim.
03:19How's it going?
03:19We're good, man.
03:20So what do you think Ryan should do here?
03:23Well, the way he likes to have his golf times, his concert times, his travel times with you guys,
03:29I'd say wait a couple more years until he gets that out of his system.
03:36He won't have the time afterwards.
03:40That's a good point.
03:41Yeah.
03:41Yeah, when you get into the two-kid zone, yeah, you're going to be in it.
03:46How many of your guys' friends, by the way, hey, Jerry, thanks for calling, bud.
03:50Hey, no problem.
03:51Later.
03:52248-398-9279.
03:54How many of your friends have two or more kids?
03:56Three of them at this point.
04:00Have you talked to them about it?
04:02Yeah, because my thought has always been I want them to be at least in high school together,
04:08so a four-year period together.
04:10You know what I mean?
04:10Yeah, you mentioned that before, way back when.
04:12Okay.
04:12Yeah, because I was just on the cusp of being in high school with my brother,
04:16and I hate that I wasn't able to be in it with him.
04:18I think that would have been really cool.
04:20So they, I think, are fine with it.
04:23They obviously say it's clearly more work.
04:27Oh, it is.
04:28Like, my one buddy has twins who are three, and then they just had another one who's just around Finn's age,
04:35maybe a month younger than him, so one.
04:37So they got two three-year-olds and a one-year-old, but they seem to be doing just fine with it.
04:42So Ryan texted and said, he'll be right around two by the time she is born.
04:49We don't know if it's a girl.
04:51He'll have a sister to protect while they're growing up.
04:54See?
04:55Nancy from Ann Arbor said, go for it.
04:58So Nancy wants you and Heidi to...
05:01Come on, do it.
05:02Do it.
05:03Do it.
05:04Tom.
05:05See Tom's text?
05:06Just more child support.
05:07Oh, boy.
05:08No.
05:09No, we'll be good.
05:10I got clearance on this one.
05:11I know.
05:112-4-8-3-9-8-9-2-7-9.
05:14This is...
05:15Oh, go ahead.
05:15What?
05:16No, I was just laughing at the whole thing.
05:19I saw Shannon's text coming in as well.
05:21She's like, nope, it's not too soon.
05:23You want them close in eight.
05:23She agrees with you on this one.
05:25Hi, John.
05:28Hello, John.
05:32Oh, he's gone.
05:34Hi, good morning, Big Jim's house.
05:35Who's this?
05:37Hi, this is Fran.
05:38How's it going?
05:39Good, Fran.
05:39Go ahead.
05:40Okay, my kids are four and a half years apart, and I would have not done that if I was going
05:46to have two.
05:48I would have them closer together.
05:50See?
05:51This is from experience.
05:52Okay.
05:52This is what you're looking for.
05:53Okay?
05:54So closer together.
05:56So do it, right?
05:57They should do it.
05:58Yes.
05:59Do it.
05:59Do it.
05:59Do it.
06:00What's your main reason?
06:02Do it.
06:02Do it.
06:03What's your main reason why you would have them closer?
06:06Because they're both boys for one, and then the older boy always wanted to fight the younger
06:12boy, and I said, no, you've got to wait until you're 18 to fight because he's too little,
06:18and by the time they got to be teenagers, they weren't close anymore.
06:21You know what I mean?
06:22Yeah.
06:22Well, that's the thing.
06:24My brother is five years older than me, and there was a point from maybe when he hit
06:3014, I wasn't allowed to hang out with him again until he was probably about 18, and I
06:36was 15 or whatever.
06:37I asked Kyle about that.
06:38He's like, oh, he's a pinging ass.
06:40Hey, thank you for calling, friend.
06:41Have a good morning.
06:43Yes, you too.
06:44Boot check.
06:44Oh, boot check.
06:47Hi, Christine.
06:49Is it too soon for Ryan and Heidi to try for another kid?
06:51No, you might be running late.
06:55Oh, we lost you.
06:57Are you still there?
06:58Running late?
06:59Yeah.
06:59Got to get on it?
07:00Yeah.
07:01Okay.
07:02Listen, my mom had five babies in four years.
07:05Wow.
07:06She was 22, my dad 25.
07:10They were married 62 years.
07:12My mom paid, and we had the greatest, most fun in our life.
07:15We were all...
07:17Well, we lost you on your phone there, but that's a resounding yes.
07:21Hold on.
07:21Hi, Nikki.
07:23Hello.
07:24How are you?
07:25Wonderful.
07:26You good?
07:26How are you doing?
07:28I'm great.
07:28I'm great.
07:29I think Ryan should do it now and get it out of the way.
07:34That's what Heidi said on their honeymoon.
07:35Anyway.
07:38So do it.
07:39I do speak from experience.
07:41Okay.
07:42I had two within 12 months, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.
07:46Well, there you go.
07:47I'd have done it over with, and enjoy them.
07:49Well, you have a great day.
07:50It's nice to know you're listening, too, Nikki.
07:53All right.
07:53Love you guys.
07:53Love you, too.
07:54Bye.
07:54Bye.
07:55Hi, Eugene.
07:56Hey, what's going on, Big Jim?
07:57You are, baby.
07:58What do you think Ryan should do here?
08:00Oh, I know he should have another one, if I'm talking from experience.
08:03Okay.
08:04I have two daughters from my first wife that are 11 months apart, and I have two daughters
08:09from my second wife that are 15 months apart.
08:11Oh, okay.
08:12And they're all adults, and I have seven granddaughters now, too.
08:17But anyway, put them together.
08:19They have somebody they grow up with, they play with.
08:21Right.
08:22You know, then it helps the parents, because you know what?
08:25A lot of times, it's like, instead of you having to be the one all the time, it's like,
08:28hey, go play with your sister.
08:30Go play with your brother.
08:31See?
08:32Love it.
08:32You know, it makes it easier for you.
08:35It makes it easier for the kid.
08:36And as you grow up, you know what?
08:38You grew up with brother, sister.
08:39You know how important it is to have that one that's close to you, that you can communicate
08:43with.
08:44Yeah.
08:45Yeah.
08:45That's a great call, man.
08:46Now that my daughters are adults, they're really close to each other.
08:49Right.
08:49I've seen that with my two boys, even with the eight-year difference, that their relationship
08:53right now is better than it's ever been.
08:56Yeah.
08:56And they have conversations that we're not privy to, that we're not aware of.
08:59Right.
08:59And they just talk, and it's really cool.
09:01That's a good point, Eugene.
09:02Thank you, man.
09:03Yeah.
09:03All right, man.
09:04You guys have a great day.
09:05You too.
09:05Bye.
09:06So, you know what he was saying?
09:08Two words, Ryan.
09:09Come on.
09:09Do it.
09:10Do it.
09:11Do it.
09:12I can doordash some oysters over to your house tonight if you need them.
09:15Lori said, Ryan, go home, get it done, and get it over with.
09:18Don't wait too long in between.
09:19Have another kid.
09:20Tim said, Ryan, get your first set of golf clubs first.
09:24So, the first call was...
09:26Just gonna send it!
09:27Yeah.
09:28Yeah, there you go.
09:30Dan, how are you, bud?
09:32I'm good.
09:32How are you?
09:33Wonderful, man.
09:33So, what do you think Ryan should do here?
09:34Is it too soon for another kid?
09:37I don't think so.
09:37Well, I think he should go for it, and his son right now is 14 months, and I think sometimes
09:50it takes a while, and by the time another baby comes around, it'll be two and a half
09:54years old, and he'll have fun in the meantime.
09:58Well, there you go.
09:59Dan, thank you, buddy.
10:01You're welcome.
10:02All right.
10:02We got a lot of calls to get to.
10:05We will get to those in a second.
10:07We're not done with this by any means.
10:09The result, so far, would you say yes, as that seems to be the...
10:12Yeah, yeah.
10:14I mean, everybody's saying, yeah, get it done, man.
10:16Come on.
10:16Do it.
10:17Do it.
10:17If you wait, you'll never do it.
10:19That kind of thing.
10:20Yep.
10:20Okay.
10:21Has Heidi responded to the conversation?
10:24No.
10:25No, no, no.
10:25Not yet.
10:26We'll get back to the phones.
10:27If you're just joining us, Grounds for Divorce this morning, Ryan asked the question, is
10:31it too soon to try for another kid?
10:34Finn's 14 months, so you figure Finn would be in his twos?
10:37Right.
10:37So, effectively, you can leave him home with the baby, and you guys can go out to dinner.
10:40Yeah, absolutely.
10:41When I was two, that's what we were growing up, is what we did.
10:44Hell, we got married when we were four.
10:45That's how old I am.
10:46Are you kidding me?
10:47By the time I was 10, I had grandkids, man.
10:51On the Oregon Trail, me and the Engel family, that's what we did.
10:54We made butter out of everything.
10:56Oh, geez.
10:56Water and air back in the day.
10:58We didn't even have cows.
10:59That's how old I am.
11:01Is it too soon to try for another kid?
11:04Okay, Brett, Kathy, Jim, Jeff, don't go anywhere.
11:06We're going to get to your calls next.
11:08How are you feeling, man?
11:09I'm good.
11:10You feeling good?
11:11Yeah.
11:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:13Is there anything else I can send to the house tonight?
11:14No, no.
11:15I got the oysters coming, all the good stuff.
11:16I would love if you just quit doing that as a whole.
11:20I'm sorry.
11:21My headphones just cut out.
11:22I didn't hear any of that.
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