00:00Our dumb, stupid faces, because occasionally we just, we're just, humans are, they err, they err.
00:09Some more than others.
00:11And man, it's usually in the most embarrassing way, but like you see somebody with a cast, you're like, wow, how'd you break your foot?
00:16And you want them to have like an awesome story, or you as the person with the broken foot, you want to be able to tell a great story.
00:22You don't want to tell them you tripped over your cat.
00:24The thing is, I have, I have an awesome story.
00:28Oh, so do I.
00:30But my story is like, it's awesome in how dumb it is.
00:33Kind of same.
00:34All right, we're talking about the dumbest ways you've ever injured yourself.
00:36Obviously you can't call, but you can text 702-597-1027.
00:40What's your story?
00:40Hit us with yours.
00:42Well, well, well, it was a night out with some friends and we had had a little bit too much to drink.
00:53Usually a lot of your stories do start like that.
00:56Yeah, you'd think I'd learned.
00:58So we went out, me and my girlfriends, yeah, we had, at the time it was bubblegum vodka.
01:05That was like, it was, it was like the thing years and years ago, guys.
01:10Were you, was this before 21?
01:12No.
01:12At least really, you chose bubblegum vodka after 21 years ago?
01:16It was this vodka, three olives vodka.
01:19So it was like new on the shelves and it had really good flavors and everybody, that was what we were drinking.
01:24So drank that.
01:25And then my girlfriend, one of them was like, hey, listen, I'm going to take you home, leave your car here.
01:32Obviously, I'm not going to drive.
01:35So she is bringing me home.
01:37And I, my husband and I had just moved into this new apartment complex.
01:41And I said, you got to turn in here.
01:43You got to turn in here.
01:44This is where we live.
01:45So she turns in.
01:47I'm giving her the gate code and it's just not working.
01:49And I'm like, God, that is the gate code.
01:51I know that's the gate code.
01:52Type pound first and then do it.
01:54She tries it over and over and over.
01:55Yeah.
01:56At this point, the gate starts to open and I'm like, oh, I'm going to just run in.
02:00I know where I live.
02:01Yeah.
02:01So no big deal.
02:02I run like a cheetah.
02:04Oh, no.
02:05The gate is opening this way.
02:07No.
02:07It smashes me in the face and I lose a tooth.
02:11My front tooth is gone.
02:14Is that a fake tooth you got?
02:15This one, fake.
02:19So there's blood everywhere.
02:21I call my husband.
02:23I'm like, this is more than me.
02:26I wasn't even at the right complex.
02:31So he finds me and the next day I have to go to the dentist.
02:37And now listen, I have a cut on my lip.
02:40My tooth is half there.
02:42Only half there.
02:43Half was gone.
02:44Half was up.
02:45Yeah.
02:45That's not good.
02:46And I hate the dentist.
02:48Oh, yeah.
02:48But there was no way around it.
02:49I obviously had to go.
02:51I lost a tooth before.
02:52So I go to the dentist and I walk in.
02:55And I'm like, this is an emergency.
02:56Like, I mean, they said, what happened?
02:59And they're thinking you were in a fight, man.
03:01Yeah, sure.
03:01Like, somebody beat you up.
03:02I said, I ran into a gate.
03:04Yeah, I was in a fight with a gate.
03:04And they're like, sure.
03:05And I'm like, no, I was running like a cheetah.
03:06I obviously was at a high speed, a high rate of speed when I hit it.
03:10And they ended up fixing my tooth.
03:12But I am reminded of that night out that was not worth it because of my stupid tooth.
03:18It's so ridiculous.
03:19So ridiculous.
03:20That's awesome.
03:21See, these are the types of stories that we're looking for.
03:22You text us or you can reach out to us on social at Amy and Sean.
03:25Let me go back to my childhood.
03:29I was living in projects just outside of Boston.
03:33I was not very rich.
03:35I did not have a lot going for me.
03:36As a matter of fact, not a lot of friends.
03:38But I was just an annoying kid.
03:41Yeah.
03:42But the one thing that we had in the projects, for whatever reason, were milk crates.
03:46Yeah.
03:46Like, you know, those like those plastic things like it's perfect to fit a basketball in.
03:51And I'm creative and poor.
03:52So I'm like milk crate, saw, cut the bottom out, put some, yep, put some plywood, stick that thing on a telephone pole.
04:01Very creative.
04:02Right?
04:02There we go.
04:03Just made myself a basketball hoop.
04:05I am now in the street.
04:06I am playing basketball by myself.
04:08I have the hoop low enough where I can dunk it because I am Larry Bird now.
04:13Yeah.
04:13Uh-huh.
04:15While I'm playing, I see a corn on the cob in the street.
04:18Not just a corn on the cob.
04:20I see it has the colonel's face on it.
04:23Colonel Sanders, KFC, just there with the yellow wrapper, old school.
04:27Okay.
04:27Didn't think much of it.
04:28Just kicked it to the side, kept playing.
04:30I'm playing by myself because, again, I have no friends.
04:32Uh-huh.
04:33And I dunk it and I start talking trash to no one and start backing up.
04:41And I start backing up.
04:43Talking trash.
04:44Talking trash to no one.
04:46Yeah.
04:47Boom.
04:48You slipped on corn on the cob.
04:49I tripped on a corn on the cob.
04:50You slipped on corn on the cob.
04:52And I broke my foot.
04:54No way.
04:55I swear.
04:56Oh, my God.
04:57That's the worst.
04:58Broke my foot, tripping on a KFC corn on the cob.
05:01Oh, my God.
05:02That you kicked there.
05:03It can get dumber.
05:05We have a lot of comments, by the way.
05:07Rosebud saying, I'm on a date with a guy.
05:09It took me bowling, you know, something fun and playful.
05:11Well, it was all fun and games, so I hurt my arm throwing a six-pound ball.
05:14He walked me to my car, couldn't find the key, so he had to drive me home.
05:17The next morning, my arm was literally black and blue from my armpit to my wrist.
05:21I tore a tendon or muscle.
05:25I mean, so many people reach out because, you know what?
05:26I think we all just assume we're the only dumb people on the planet.
05:29Yeah.
05:29But we're actually surrounded by them.
05:31Uh-huh.
05:31We are amongst our friends.
05:33I was a swimmer.
05:35I swam in college.
05:36Yeah.
05:36And one weird thing I would do is I wouldn't wear goggles.
05:39I didn't like to wear them because I didn't want to chance them flipping when I dove in or getting water in or whatever.
05:44So, I just didn't wear them ever.
05:46And I was making my first turn and misjudged the wall and literally scraped my entire face on the wall.
05:54My dad was, he's like, only you can get injured swimming.
05:59Like, physically hurt swimming.
06:01Like, diving, you can understand.
06:02Yes, but swimming.
06:03But you just swim in a wall.
06:05Yeah.
06:05You have a depth perception issue, I think.
06:07I guess.
06:07Yeah, obviously.
06:09Obvi.
06:10Drea says, I was opening a can of cat food.
06:12I pull it back too fast, sliced open the skin.
06:15Oh, okay.
06:15This really makes me ill.
06:17This is, like, the worst scene in Jackass.
06:20Between my thumb and pointer finger, I was smelling like friskies getting seven stitches.
06:25That is so bad.
06:27That is so gross.
06:28I once had, I was mansplaining to Marsha how to, you know, open an avocado because she was trying to skin it.
06:33And I'm like, that's not how you open an avocado.
06:34I'm like, this is how you open an avocado.
06:35And I cut it, but then, like, I cut the pit too.
06:39So, I was starting to pick the pit with the end of the knife.
06:41Boom.
06:42Right into my hand.
06:43I had like a growth in my hand because that's brutal.
06:46Brandy said, my husband built me a stripper pole in our room and I was butt naked about to get in the shower.
06:51So, I decided to run and jump.
06:53Grabbed the pole.
06:54Came down on my foot wrong.
06:56Heard a big pop.
06:57Sprained my foot.
06:58What a great story.
06:58I had to tell the doctor when I went in for an X-ray.
07:03That's so embarrassing.
07:05Ray Chan says, I was a sophomore in high school.
07:07It was common where I grew up.
07:08The students to sit in the courtyard among the planter boxes on the ground for lunch.
07:11My foot fell asleep and I got up super fast after the bell rang.
07:16I went to take a step and face-pointed on the ground in front of the entire courtyard.
07:20I was on crutches for a week and had a purple ankle for a month.
07:24Oh, my God.
07:25Moe Steelers, 43.
07:26I had to get stitches on my forehead because of a frozen Snickers candy bar.
07:31Oh, my goodness.
07:32Oh, my goodness.
07:34And also, I supermaned from a golf cart and busted my eyebrow open.
07:37Oh, my God.
07:38The worst.
07:39It's pretty amazing.
07:40The worst.
07:41Rhonda said that she was walking her bike to a friend's house while carrying my roller skates on my shoulder because someone was going to borrow them.
07:49Well, I tripped over the bike and broke my arm, literally not even riding a bike or skating, just walking.
07:56The worst.
07:58It makes me feel better, though.
07:59It does.
08:00I feel good now.
08:01Don't you feel good knowing that you're just not the only dummy?
08:04Absolutely.
08:05Man, I was playing Little League baseball, the weakest arm kid I was playing catch with before the game.
08:10I wanted to go up and get bubble gum, and I go get bubble gum.
08:14The weakest arm kid, gone.
08:15Now, it's the only girl on our team who has a cannon.
08:19First ball, boom, tooth out.
08:21My dad's like, Sean.
08:23Oh, my God.
08:24Ran a bunch of red lights, got an emergency root canal.
08:28Yeah.
08:28The tooth next to that had to get a root canal.
08:31That one got dark.
08:32I had to get crowns.
08:33Oh, my God.
08:34I hate that.
08:35Nightmare.
08:35Nightmare.
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