00:00When I found out that my dad and my husband at the time
00:03were sleeping together, I felt betrayed.
00:06My ex-husband gave me HIV.
00:10I never knew that social media could be so brutal.
00:12They make me feel like I am a walking disease.
00:15My mom was there when the doctor told me
00:18that I was HIV positive.
00:20I was devastated.
00:23I'm gonna go get your HIV medicine.
00:25She told me she was HIV positive
00:27maybe a week or two into us dating.
00:31I knew I needed to tell him before I met him in person.
00:35I was nervous that Brendan wouldn't wanna be with me.
00:38I was already in love with her from the first interaction,
00:41so it didn't bother me.
00:43As long as you're taking your medicine
00:44every single day, you can live.
00:46It helps with my immune system
00:47so that it will be a 0% chance for me
00:50to give my partner HIV or even pass it down to my children.
00:54Side effects that I personally receive
00:56was short memory loss.
00:58It did cause me to have anxiety and depression.
01:01I am currently on meds as well for that.
01:03I know the side effects can be very scary,
01:06but I'd rather have side effects than to be dying.
01:12We was the cutest.
01:13I told Brendan in the first month of us dating,
01:16if he was serious, prove it.
01:18And he did just that.
01:22Well, you'll tattoo it.
01:24To find love after HIV, it's not easy at all
01:28because so many people are uneducated about it.
01:31You have to tell them, hey, I'm HIV positive,
01:34and hopefully you accept me.
01:35But if not, I gotta try again.
01:38This is our wedding photo,
01:40and this is my beautiful family.
01:45My ex-husband is the person that gave me HIV.
01:51Who knew he had it, and he had it for many years.
01:54I was 19 years old and just had a baby.
01:57This is actually my favorite photo of us.
02:00This is when we was in the beginning of our happy place,
02:04even though I didn't know he was living a double life.
02:07It's never easy to talk about how
02:11my dad introduced me to my ex-husband.
02:13My dad said this is one of his friends.
02:16Everyone knew that I was the preacher's kid,
02:19so they have this obsession over preacher's daughters.
02:22And my dad wanted me to marry,
02:27and he introduced us
02:28because he felt like we would be a good fit.
02:31I thought that he was just a member of my dad's church.
02:36I wanted to get away, but I felt trapped.
02:39I don't even look the same.
02:40I looked depressed, and I was losing weight.
02:43I also believe that I was HIV positive here,
02:46and I did not know.
02:47And you can tell from my cheekbones,
02:50I'm starting to look sick.
02:52And this is when I was pregnant
02:54with our daughter, Elizabeth.
02:56When I found out that my dad and my husband at the time
03:00was sleeping together, I felt betrayed.
03:03I felt disgusted.
03:05I felt like I wasn't worth anything,
03:08and I didn't believe in the word loyalty anymore.
03:10I don't talk to my dad anymore,
03:13but my ex-husband does pop in and pop out.
03:18I did lock him up.
03:20I was really nervous when I first told Brendan
03:23that I have a horrible past.
03:25I was more so shocked than anything.
03:28It did make me angry.
03:30That's supposed to be her father.
03:32And for him to set her up the way he did,
03:35it was, honestly, it was horrible.
03:38I'm still strong, more than ever.
03:41I love her honesty, her bravery, and her goofiness,
03:45sometimes.
03:48Aggravating.
03:50I wanted people to know that there is life after HIV.
03:53I'm married to a man who is HIV negative.
03:56I have three children who is HIV negative.
04:01A lot of people didn't understand why I told the world
04:04that I am HIV positive.
04:06This video got the most hate comments.
04:09Not being funny,
04:10but he voluntarily invited HIV into his life.
04:13Was he positive already?
04:15Not judging, just curious.
04:17It's a lot of ignorant people
04:18who just think HIV is a death sentence.
04:21A lot of people think that we do this for clout,
04:24which is weird,
04:25because who wouldn't get clout off having HIV?
04:28A lot of people think it's fake, honestly.
04:29Yeah.
04:30Comments like, you're selfish for having kids,
04:34you're selfish for being married to a man
04:37who is HIV negative,
04:39let him be with a woman who's HIV negative.
04:42Sometimes I will read people saying that I need to die
04:47and that I don't deserve my husband,
04:50even after everything that I have been through
04:53with my past marriage.
04:55I feel sorry for him now.
04:56He's gonna catch it too.
04:59People make me feel like I am not human.
05:02They make me feel like I don't belong here
05:05and that I am a walking disease,
05:08that if I touch them, they're gonna get it as well.
05:10And that hurts.
05:11I never knew that social media could be so brutal.
05:14But after a while,
05:15the judgment really didn't affect us at all.
05:18He better accept you.
05:19He gave it to you.
05:20A lot of people don't really pay attention,
05:22but a lot of people think that I'm the one
05:23that gave it to her.
05:24Yeah.
05:25A lot of people don't know that children
05:27also take HIV medicine,
05:29even though they're not positive.
05:31They have to take it the first three weeks
05:33of them being born.
05:35Even though they are negative,
05:36you know, you have to go through a process
05:38as a HIV woman having children.
05:40I support you, honey.
05:41No matter what, I am positive as well.
05:44And my husband is negative.
05:45Thank you for uplifting me.
05:47Social media definitely have made my marriage stronger
05:51because it just tested everything.
05:54It just made us love each other even more
05:57because people want our marriage to fail so bad.
06:02All right, sit back, girls.
06:03Get closer.
06:04Y'all like y'all gonna bite each other.
06:06Say cheese.
06:07What is like to see your mom talk about having HIV?
06:11He should know that kind of stuff.
06:13You think so?
06:15Okay.
06:16Do you think people treat mommy different?
06:18Yes, yes, yes.
06:20From having HIV?
06:22How did it make you feel that they treat mommy bad?
06:25Mad.
06:27So we're about to go to the park to meet my mom.
06:30Yay!
06:32At first, my mom thought that Brandon wasn't genuine.
06:35She thought my husband was a serial killer.
06:37She did not understand why would someone
06:39want to be with someone with HIV and two kids.
06:43Yeah, she was at her own feet, baby.
06:44She definitely was being judgmental,
06:47but she didn't know the education behind HIV and AIDS.
06:51So she was just being like everyone else
06:54who doesn't know how it works.
06:56I thought it was too good to be true, pretty much.
06:59I was like, okay, do we know what's going on?
07:01Wait a minute.
07:02Are you sure?
07:03You know, but he was a pretty cool guy.
07:06My mom was there when the doctor told me
07:09that I was HIV positive.
07:11I can tell that she wanted to cry and slide down the wall,
07:14but she was trying to be strong for me
07:17because she could not believe
07:18that the doctor just told her daughter this.
07:21Honestly, I was devastated,
07:24but I had to pretty much be strong for her.
07:28I put my strongness on.
07:30Hey, mom.
07:31Hey.
07:32What's going on?
07:33Hi, how are you feeling?
07:34Hey.
07:35Hey.
07:38So how do you feel about me being positive
07:41and him being negative?
07:44At first I was afraid.
07:46I think that's when I asked you.
07:47I said, you know, you sure he knows?
07:49Because, yeah.
07:52But I could tell that he was in love with you
07:54when he, you know, when you told him.
07:56Maybe because of what people say.
07:59It's not, you know, it's not that I thought he was crazy
08:02because you're a great woman, actually.
08:04You're the best.
08:05And I knew you would have been an awesome wife
08:06because you watched me.
08:08But no, most people would be like, oh no, I can't do it.
08:12I've heard people say, ew, you know,
08:14why would he put himself in that type of predicament
08:16or whatever.
08:18How do you feel about how his family did me?
08:21I didn't want to say that because I like peace.
08:23You know, I could have just went in on his family
08:26because of the way that they were doing
08:28and to hear you cry, you know.
08:29But what made me not do it is him
08:32because at the end of the day, he always had your back.
08:35The reaction that my family gave was not a good reaction.
08:40It was more so a biased reaction
08:44when it comes down to the situation
08:46due to the fact they were not educated.
08:48How old were you and how old was my dad
08:51when y'all conceived me?
08:53Well, me and your dad started at 15.
08:55I was 15.
08:56I was looking for love at a church because I was hurt.
09:00Things caught up with him, you know, and he went to jail.
09:03But I still didn't think he was wrong
09:07because I was still young.
09:08I was still a child.
09:10But now that, you know, doing therapy
09:13and everything else that happened, you know, I see that.
09:19I was shocked at some of the things
09:20that you went through, Ma.
09:21And the fact that you still here
09:23made me realize that I can be strong too.
09:27Yeah, I had to be strong
09:29because you, your siblings, I had to be strong.
09:33You know, we all went through a lot.
09:35I was lost when you first came.
09:39I was lost.
09:40I felt like I was by myself.
09:42You know, his letters used to come from jail
09:45and I just gave up, you know,
09:49but I didn't give up on you and I'm still not giving up.
09:55But this dude right here, I mean,
09:57even through your emotional roller coasters,
10:00he stood there and that's what I knew, you know.
10:06They're inseparable.
10:08No matter who comes and say something,
10:11you can't pull them apart, no matter what.
10:15That's what I love about him.
10:17This was actually a dream to make this poster board.
10:20I had this three years ago.
10:22Okay.
10:23I want the world to know that the stigma is a lie.
10:26If it gets to your mind, say cheese.
10:27And that you can be HIV positive
10:29and still marry a man who's HIV negative.
10:32And you can have children who also could be HIV negative.
10:36I felt passionate.
10:37I was about to go in.
10:39Brandon changed my life to show me that I can be safe.
10:43I can be happy.
10:45I love how nurturing and caring she actually can be.
10:49We get each other.
10:50We are the black sheeps.
10:51I'm hoping to show people there is life after HIV.
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