00:00This is Ocean. She fell in love with Jaymar.
00:05We're a trans couple. We both just got married after three months.
00:09People thought we were moving too fast.
00:12A lot of the judgment was from strangers.
00:14What is the point of us dating now? We should have dated before we transitioned.
00:18My son knows about our relationship, but I don't know what he feels about it.
00:22Was you nervous about our relationship at first?
00:25Maybe a little bit.
00:28I'm Ocean. This is my husband, Jaymar.
00:31And we are both proud trans people.
00:34We first met on Facebook.
00:36She liked a lot of my stuff.
00:38And I got in her inbox.
00:41Once I opened the inbox, that's when we automatically started connecting.
00:44And we just started to get to know each other.
00:46We talked on the phone every night.
00:48We fell asleep.
00:49And once we found out that we're both into tarot cards and spiritual things,
00:54we just connected automatically.
00:56I knew she was trans when I first seen her.
00:59I knew because when I started going through my husband's videos,
01:02I seen his scars and stuff.
01:04We became official like a weekend of talking.
01:06Two months down the road, we got married.
01:09I have health issues, a lot of them.
01:11And I've always been scared to love.
01:13When I realized how much peace she brought me, I asked her,
01:16I'm like, you want to marry me?
01:17Forget the rings, forget the weddings, let's just get married.
01:19So we did it.
01:20It was not no doubt a bone in my body that I would marry this man.
01:25He's a special person.
01:26And I said, will we go together real bad?
01:28And ever since, it's been real bad.
01:32This is my first time ever dating a trans woman.
01:35This is my first time dating a trans man.
01:38I had talked to a trans man, but I know that wasn't my soulmate.
01:42I thought I would be attracted to like feminine guys, but it wasn't enough.
01:46Like, you know, something was missing.
01:48All of a sudden, told me I was going to end up with a trans woman.
01:51I'm in with Ocean.
01:53She understands me.
01:55She don't get my pronouns wrong.
01:57She makes me feel like a man.
01:59Everybody else I dated, they always reminded me what I was.
02:05So I never felt this free being with her.
02:08It makes life easier when somebody can understand you.
02:11The stuff I used to wear before I transitioned,
02:15it's like stuff like this.
02:18And I got a little top to go with it.
02:20I used to be on and off with dressing like a boy and girl to please other people,
02:25but the boy version was really me.
02:27And this is the guy clothes I used to wear before I transitioned.
02:32I used to love like the rings and the jeans fitted at the bottom.
02:37I started transitioning in 2017.
02:40Then life just started kicking my butt.
02:42So I took two years off in 2020.
02:49That's when I started going full force and everything said I had to stop.
02:52My first surgery was breast implants.
02:56I got those done in 2017.
02:59I had a nose job and I also had an orchid optician.
03:03I started transitioning in 2017 and I stopped in 2018 and had my daughter.
03:10Then I started back up in 2020.
03:12This was when I was five months pregnant.
03:15This one was when I was switched back.
03:18Trying to be a little boyish.
03:20Feel comfortable a little bit, but I wasn't fully comfortable.
03:23Look at you with your breast boxers.
03:26My top surgery made me feel free.
03:29As soon as I walked out the door, everybody instantly noticed a man.
03:33Even though my face looked a manly, they knew I was a girl.
03:36So that surgery definitely changed everything.
03:39My family did not think I was serious until I took the top off.
03:44We don't hide that we're trans.
03:46It's actually public information so they can just see it on our page.
03:49It's important for us to share our relationship to help other people that's afraid to come out.
03:54When we started our relationship, we had a few negative comments.
03:58A lot of the judgment was from strangers.
04:01People thought we were moving too fast.
04:03What is this s***?
04:05Just weird all around.
04:08Somebody put the resting head emoji.
04:12To confuse people, that's just being straight with the extra steps.
04:17What is the point of us dating now? We should have dated before we transitioned.
04:22Who's the top? Who's the bottom?
04:24People that judge me, I give them a solid treatment.
04:26I just ignore them and walk away.
04:28I let him do all the responding.
04:30We respond to the mean comments with kindness.
04:34The negativity definitely brought us closer.
04:37You can't break our bond.
04:39When I told my family about being married, my sister, we were close.
04:44She's like my twin.
04:45She was shouting to my, hey bro-in-law.
04:48She was already calling him bro-in-law before we even got married.
04:50When I first told my family about Ocean, at first they were a little concerned.
04:55They were like, are you sure?
04:56Some of my kids, they thought that I was moving fast.
04:59I came down here in such a short time frame and then, you know, got married.
05:04I have three kids, five, 17, and 20.
05:08I have three kids, one 17, the other one is 21, and my adopted child is 25.
05:15And then we're expecting a newborn here next year, around January.
05:20My sister is our surrogate.
05:22And we have a sperm donor.
05:24Today we're going to talk with my son, Quanah, and see what he really thinks about our relationship.
05:29My son knows about our relationship, but I don't know what he feels about it.
05:33I don't know what my son will say.
05:35I'm curious to hear.
05:37Jamar is my mom, but he's a man now.
05:41That's my dad.
05:43I was about 16, 17 when my mom transitioned to a trans male.
05:48I was happy for him.
05:49But the marriage was a little fast.
05:52Hey.
05:56Hey.
05:57What's up?
05:58Hi.
05:59So what did you think when I was first transitioning?
06:02She was already, like, a male type of person in her heart.
06:06You know, we all changed, going to, still.
06:11I'm happy you do what you want to do.
06:13Did you have any concerns when I was first transitioning?
06:16Yeah, maybe, like, on the health part.
06:20I adopted things.
06:22Marquan, was you nervous about our relationship at first?
06:27Maybe a little bit.
06:29If I wasn't like my mom, with moving fast, too, I would have probably been more worried.
06:36But I'm like, we're the same type of person.
06:39I was more nervous when it came to y'all, because, you know, the kids have to accept your parents' spouse.
06:47And not only I have to build a relationship with my husband, I also have to build a relationship with you guys.
06:52I just want all of us to be on the same page, which we are.
06:55You and Leo just like me, so we connect spiritually, too.
06:58What did you think about me dating a trans woman for the first time?
07:01I wouldn't say I wasn't, I wouldn't expect it.
07:04You know, it's cool, you know.
07:08I don't judge.
07:09What do you think of our relationship now?
07:11I just think y'all is locked in for real.
07:14I'm happy for y'all.
07:15I'm still saying it's good, you know.
07:18We accept you and love you now.
07:21Love you.
07:22Love you, too.
07:23I loved his input and how he felt about the situation, and he was very honest.
07:28Yeah.
07:29My favorite thing about Ocean is how gentle and kind she is.
07:33My favorite thing about Jamari is he's gentle, he's kind, he's sweet, he has a big heart.
07:39And he let me pick his food every time we go out to eat.
07:44I love that.
07:45When I taste the people that judge our relationship, I was like, well, you do have your own opinion, but that's why that's your household and that's my household.
07:52And in my household, we love everyone.
07:54We accept everyone for who they are.
07:56I don't deal with negativity.
07:57If you're negative, I give you the silent treatment.
08:00The future for us looks bright, and I see a lot of happiness.
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