00:00My partner is HIV positive.
00:02I sleep with my girlfriend even though she has HIV.
00:05Do you still love me with my HIV?
00:07Do you think I'll ever stop?
00:08I think dating someone with HIV probably would concern me.
00:12I would be scared of getting infected as well.
00:16So if there are two lines, then I am positive.
00:21If there's only one line, then the test is negative.
00:26I'm Zia, I'm here with my partner Avyele.
00:30People judge our relationship because of my status.
00:34Do you remember when you first met?
00:36I do, I can never forget that.
00:38How I looked at you and you were like, uh-uh, uh-uh.
00:41You were not my type at the time.
00:44We met eight years ago through high school friends.
00:47But then we started dating two years after that, 2020,
00:50and for at least six months.
00:54And then we broke out, got back together in 2022.
00:57I first realised that I was attracted to her,
01:00I'd say from day one, when I first saw her.
01:03So in 2022, she posted, I think on Facebook,
01:07that she's living positively with HIV.
01:11When I saw the post, I thought, she never told me this.
01:15Let me just reach out and then try to find out what's going on.
01:18Two months after that, we talked every day,
01:22we spent more time together,
01:24and then two months after that, we got back together.
01:27I do not know how I got infected.
01:30On that day, when I got diagnosed,
01:33I literally felt like my world was coming to an end.
01:37I was so disappointed in myself and I was so hurt, man.
01:42I was broken.
01:43When I found out that she was positive,
01:46I honestly, I had mixed emotions
01:50because I didn't know how she came in contact with the virus
01:55and I didn't know when.
01:57I think we've been through a lot,
01:59but we only seem to find our way back together.
02:04Do you still love me with my HIV?
02:09Do you think I'll ever stop?
02:11At first, it was a huge insecurity that she had.
02:15The smallest argument, she'd say,
02:18oh, is it because of this and this?
02:20It's not the end of the world.
02:21It's not even a factor to me
02:23because I'm choosing to be with you
02:25and that's the most important thing.
02:27I think the stigmas that are associated with HIV
02:31are mostly from people in older generations.
02:34I don't know, I feel like it's looked down upon.
02:36If someone were to have it
02:37or get tested for it and test positive,
02:41I think they would think that their life is ruined
02:43or that they can never date again
02:44or that they're going to get really sick
02:48and life-ruining.
02:50It can be a real life-threatening illness.
02:52Definitely that it affects more gay people.
02:57They have sort of like frequent unprotected s**ks,
03:02dangerous s**ks
03:03or that they have like shorter lifespans.
03:07After posting that video, me disclosing my status,
03:11I got a lot of interaction with people.
03:14People saying that I've been sleeping around
03:17so that's why I deserve it.
03:19Oh, here's a comment.
03:20You deserve it, you've been sleeping around.
03:23I mean, for me, that's stupid
03:25because some other people, they are born with it.
03:29So why would they assume that I've been sleeping around?
03:32I do not reply.
03:33I just delete the comment
03:35and just deal with it in my own way.
03:39I did have a couple of friends.
03:40After they made comments about our relationship, about her,
03:45I did distance myself from some of them.
03:47Currently, I'm HIV negative.
03:50The last time I tested was last month.
03:53Hi guys, hope you're all good.
03:55So we are back again.
03:57Today, we're going to do the HIV test
03:59just to show you and prove to you that my medication is working
04:03and my partner is indeed negative.
04:05So this is the HIV home test kit.
04:11Make sure that it's clean.
04:14And then after that, I'm going to use this to prick my saw.
04:21So now we're just going to give it two minutes.
04:24So if there are two lines, then I am positive.
04:29If there's only one line, then the test is negative.
04:33Quite a lot of people don't believe me when I say that I'm negative
04:36because I'm with someone who's living with HIV.
04:39And so they always assume that no one would actually date someone
04:45who's actually positive.
04:46I would say that there's definitely a perception of HIV not being curable.
04:52So if you were to then get it, that could then impact the rest of your life.
04:57So if I found out someone did have HIV, I probably would be skeptical of dating them.
05:02I would be scared of getting infected as well.
05:06I feel like I would also be scared of like if I were to get infected,
05:09then having kids like passing on to my kids.
05:12I don't think dating someone with HIV would concern me
05:15because obviously there's a lot of advancements in medicine these days.
05:20And if you're undetectable, you can't pass it on.
05:24The results are in.
05:25Drum roll, please.
05:31This is proof that you can be with an HIV positive partner and still be negative.
05:39Yeah.
05:40I'm taking ARVs and retrovirals.
05:43You take one pill per day.
05:45The aim of the medication is to reduce the amount of virus in your blood.
05:52That's what it does.
05:52It's not a cure. It's just for managing the virus.
05:56What it means, you won't be able to transmit the virus to your partner.
06:02You can even have like **** like any other normal people
06:06as long as you stick to your medication.
06:09Have you ever heard of PrEP?
06:11No.
06:12No, I've never heard of PrEP.
06:13I do not.
06:14Yes, I know what PrEP is.
06:15PrEP is a pill that you take once a day to prevent yourself from getting HIV.
06:23A year back, I stopped taking PrEP, but it honestly didn't affect us because she's undetectable.
06:30Honestly, I was a bit fearful.
06:32But at the time, I have to say that it's an advantage to have someone who's quite knowledgeable as Uziah
06:40is.
06:44He's a bit of a wild card.
06:46You know, you can never get too sure what he's going to say.
06:49I only found out through social media.
06:52I was shocked.
06:53I was like, okay, I know what is this and what does it do.
06:59And if like you take care of yourself, then you're going to be good.
07:03Would you date someone living with HIV?
07:06It will depend.
07:08On what?
07:10If maybe I genuinely like love this person and she's been there in like my whole life.
07:19I don't know how I would take that.
07:22I don't know, like this first time for everything though.
07:25So what do you think about the stigmas around it, around the virus?
07:29Since most people, they don't have like the information of what HIV is.
07:38And some people think when you are infected by the virus, you are no longer human.
07:44When they find out that you're positive, they don't even want to use the same spoon as you do.
07:48The same cup as you do.
07:50So at the end of the day, maybe that's the problem.
07:54Yeah.
07:55The lack of information.
07:57The lack of information.
07:57Yeah, that's the problem.
07:59Because if you were taught these things back in high school or back in primary school, we would be well
08:03equipped now.
08:04Were you worried about our relationship knowing that I'm HIV positive?
08:09I can say that I was worried so much that I thought maybe Alva might like fall for like the
08:22things that are being said.
08:24And then he might end up like leaving you.
08:28I definitely think it's possible for someone with HIV to have intimate, healthy relationships.
08:33I think as long as both parties obviously give consent.
08:37Before meeting or dating, I didn't know that I was capable of loving someone that way that I love her.
08:43He forces me to be patient and to be kind.
08:47Anything is possible.
08:48HIV is not a death sentence.
08:51It does not limit you from achieving your goals.
08:54And that's the one thing that I learned from my parents.
08:57That when you love each other, nothing else matters.
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