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Short filmTranscript
00:00My name is Mary Alice Young.
00:19When you read this morning's paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week.
00:26Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life.
00:30But that all changed last Thursday.
00:33Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.
00:36I made breakfast for my family.
00:40I performed my chores.
00:43I completed my projects.
00:47I ran my errands.
00:50In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day,
00:55quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.
00:59That's why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet
01:08and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.
01:12My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs. Martha Hooper,
01:21who had been startled by a strange popping sound.
01:26Her curiosity aroused.
01:28Mrs. Hooper tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.
01:31After some initial hesitation,
01:37she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.
01:41It's my neighbor.
02:01it's my neighbor
02:05I think she's been shot
02:06there's blood everywhere
02:07yes you've got to send an ambulance
02:10you've got to send one right now
02:12and for a moment
02:18Mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen
02:22grief stricken by this senseless tragedy
02:24but only for a moment
02:27if there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for
02:30it was her ability to look on the bright side
02:34I was laid to rest on a Monday
02:43after the funeral all the residents of Wisteria Lane
02:46came to pay their respects
02:48and as people do in these situations
02:52they brought food
02:53Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken
02:56Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken
02:59of course she didn't cook much while she was moving up the corporate ladder
03:03she didn't have the time
03:05but when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant
03:08her husband Tom had an idea
03:09why not quit your job
03:11kids do better with stay-at-home moms
03:13it will be so much less stressful
03:15but this was not the case
03:18in fact Lynette's life had become so hectic
03:21she was now forced to get her fried chicken
03:24from a fast food restaurant
03:25Lynette would have appreciated the irony
03:27if she stopped to think about it
03:29but she couldn't
03:30she didn't have the time
03:32stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it
03:33you are going to behave today
03:36I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood
03:39and just so you know how serious I am
03:42what's that?
03:44Santa's cell phone number
03:46how'd you get that?
03:47I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf
03:50and if any of you acts up
03:52so help me
03:53I will call Santa
03:54and I will tell him
03:55you want socks for Christmas
03:57you willing to risk that?
04:02okay
04:02let's get this over with
04:06Gabrielle Solis
04:10who lives down the block
04:11brought a spicy paella
04:13since her modeling days in New York
04:17Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food
04:19and rich men
04:22Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions
04:26proposed on their third date
04:28Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes
04:31but she soon discovered
04:33this happened every time
04:34Carlos closed a big deal
04:36Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot
04:39however her relationship with her husband
04:41was considerably cooler
04:43if you talk to Al Mason at this thing
04:46I want you to casually mention
04:48how much I paid for your necklace
04:49why don't I just pin the receipt to my chest?
04:51he let me know how much he paid for his wife's new convertible
04:54look, just work it into the conversation
04:55there's no way I can just work that in, Carlos
04:57why not?
04:58at the Donahue party
04:59everyone was talking mutual funds
05:00and you found a way to mention
05:02you slept with half the Yankee outfield
05:04they're telling you
05:04it came up in the context of the conversation
05:06hey
05:06people are starting to stare
05:08can you keep your voice down, please?
05:10absolutely
05:10I wouldn't want them to think we're not happy
05:12Brie Vandekamp
05:14who lives next door
05:15brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch
05:18Brie was known for her cooking
05:20and for making her own clothes
05:23and for doing her own gardening
05:26and for reupholstering her own furniture
05:29yes, Brie's many talents
05:32were known throughout the neighborhood
05:34and everyone on Wisteria Lane
05:36thought of Brie as the perfect wife and mother
05:38everyone that is
05:40except her own family
05:42Paul
05:46Zachary
05:48hello, Mrs. Vandekamp
05:49Brie, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble
05:51it was no trouble at all
05:52now the basket with the red ribbon
05:54is filled with desserts for your guests
05:56but the one with the blue ribbon
05:57is just for you and Zachary
05:58it's got rolls, muffins, breakfast type things
06:01thank you
06:02well, the least I could do
06:04is make sure you boys
06:05had a decent meal to look forward to
06:06in the morning
06:07I know you're out of your minds with grief
06:10yes, we are
06:12of course, I will need the baskets back
06:16once you're done
06:16of course
06:19Susan Mayer
06:24who lives across the street
06:26brought macaroni and cheese
06:27her husband, Carl
06:29always teased her about her macaroni
06:31saying it was the only thing
06:32she knew how to cook
06:33and she rarely made it well
06:35it was too salty
06:37the night she and Carl
06:38moved into their house
06:39it was too watery
06:41the night she found lipstick
06:43on Carl's shirt
06:44she burned it
06:46the night Carl told her
06:47he was leaving her
06:48for his secretary
06:49a year had passed
06:58since the divorce
06:59Susan had started to think
07:01how nice it would be
07:02to have a man in her life
07:03even one who would make fun
07:05of her cooking
07:06mom
07:06why would someone kill themselves
07:09well
07:11sometimes people are so unhappy
07:14they think that's the only way
07:15they can solve their problems
07:16but Mrs. Young always seemed happy
07:19yeah
07:19sometimes people pretend
07:21to be one way on the outside
07:22when they're totally different
07:23on the inside
07:24oh you mean like
07:25how dad's girlfriend
07:26is always smiling
07:27and says nice things
07:27but deep down
07:28you just know she's a bitch
07:29I don't like that word Julie
07:30but yeah that's a great example
07:32you're welcome
07:37hey what's going on
07:46sorry I'm late
07:50hi Susan
07:51hey
08:07so what did Carl say
08:15when you confronted him
08:15you'll love this
08:16he said
08:17it doesn't mean anything
08:19it was just sex
08:20oh yes
08:22page one of the philanderer's handbook
08:24yeah and then he got this
08:24zen look on his face
08:26and he said
08:26you know Susan
08:27most men live lives
08:28of quiet desperation
08:30please tell me you punched him
08:31no I said really
08:32and what do most women lead
08:33lives of noisy fulfillment
08:35good for you
08:36I mean of all people
08:37did he have to bang his secretary
08:38I had that woman over for brunch
08:40it's like my grandmother
08:41always said
08:42an erect penis
08:43doesn't have a conscience
08:43even the limp ones
08:44aren't that ethical
08:45this is half the reason
08:46I joined the NRA
08:47well when Rex started
08:49going to those medical conferences
08:50I wanted in the back of his mind
08:52that he had a loving wife
08:53at home with a loaded
08:54Smith and Wesson
08:55Lenny
08:56Tom's always away on business
08:58do you ever worry he might
08:59oh please
09:00the man's gotten me pregnant
09:01three times in four years
09:03I wish he was having sex
09:04with someone else
09:05so Susan
09:10is he gonna stop
09:10seeing that woman
09:11I don't know
09:15I'm sorry you guys
09:21I just
09:21I just don't know
09:25how I'm gonna survive this
09:27listen to me
09:29we all have moments
09:31of desperation
09:32but if we can face them
09:36head on
09:36that's when we find out
09:37just how strong
09:38we really are
09:39Susan
09:46Susan
09:47I was just saying
09:49Paul wants us to go over
09:50on Friday
09:51he needs us to go through
09:52Mary Alice's closet
09:53and help pack up our things
09:54he said he can't face
09:55doing it by himself
09:56sure that's fine
09:57are you okay
09:59yeah
10:00I'm just so angry
10:03if Mary Alice
10:04was having problems
10:05she should have come to us
10:06she should have let us
10:07help her
10:08what kind of problems
10:09could she have had
10:09she was healthy
10:11had a great home
10:12a nice family
10:12her life was
10:13our life
10:14no if Mary Alice
10:19was having some sort
10:19of crisis
10:20we'd have known
10:20she lives 50 feet away
10:22for God's sakes
10:23Gabby the woman
10:24killed herself
10:25something must have
10:26been going on
10:27I wouldn't eat that
10:41if I were you
10:42why?
10:43I made it
10:44trust me
10:44hey
10:48hey
10:48do you have a death wish?
10:49no I just refuse
10:51to believe
10:51that anybody
10:51can screw up
10:52macaroni and cheese
10:53oh my god
10:57how did you
10:59it tastes like
11:01it's burned
11:01and undercooked
11:02yeah I get that a lot
11:03here you go
11:05thanks
11:08I'm Mike Delfino
11:11I just started
11:11renting the Sims
11:12house next door
11:13Susan Meyer
11:13I live across the street
11:15oh yeah
11:16Mrs. Huber
11:17told me about you
11:18said you illustrate
11:19children's books
11:19yeah I'm very big
11:20with the under five
11:21set
11:22what do you do?
11:24plumber
11:24so if you ever
11:26have a clog
11:27or something
11:30now that everybody's
11:35seen that I brought
11:36something
11:37I should probably
11:38just throw this out
11:39ow
11:51ease up
11:52you little vampire
11:53Zanette
11:58I've been looking
11:59all over for you
11:59are you aware
12:01of what your sons
12:02are doing?
12:03you three planned this?
12:30all right
12:31all right
12:31that's it
12:32get out
12:32no
12:33no
12:34I am your mother
12:36you have to do
12:37what I say
12:38come on
12:38we were swimming
12:39you can't stop us
12:41get out
12:52get out
12:55get over here
12:59get over here
13:04get out
13:11get out
13:14thank you
13:28Paul
13:35we have to leave
13:37once again
13:38I am so sorry
13:39for your loss
13:40go
13:42Lynette
13:44Lynette
13:44shouldn't have been
13:45so concerned
13:46about my husband
13:46he had other things
13:48on his mind
13:49things below
13:51the surface
13:52the morning after
14:02my funeral
14:02my friends and neighbors
14:04quietly went back
14:05to their busy
14:06busy lives
14:07while some did
14:09their cooking
14:09and some did
14:13their cleaning
14:14and some did
14:17their yoga
14:18others
14:20did their homework
14:22hi
14:23I'm Julie
14:26I kicked my soccer ball
14:27into your backyard
14:28oh
14:29okay
14:29well let's
14:30go around and get it
14:31stay
14:32his wife died
14:35a year ago
14:35he wanted to stay
14:36in LA
14:36but there were
14:37too many memories
14:38he's running
14:38for tax purposes
14:39but he hopes
14:40to buy a place
14:40real soon
14:41I can't believe
14:41you went over there
14:42hey I saw you
14:43both flirting
14:43at the wake
14:44you're obviously
14:44into each other
14:45now that you know
14:46he's single
14:47you can ask him out
14:47Julie
14:48I like Mr. Delfino
14:50I do
14:50I just
14:51I don't even know
14:52if I'm ready
14:52to start dating yet
14:53ugh
14:54you need to get
14:54back out there
14:55come on
14:56how long has it been
14:57since you've had sex
14:58are you mad
15:01that I asked you that
15:01no I'm just
15:02trying to remember
15:03I don't want to talk
15:05to you about
15:05my love life anymore
15:06it weirds me out
15:07I wouldn't have
15:08said anything
15:08it's just
15:09what
15:10I heard dad's
15:12girlfriend ask
15:13if you dated
15:13anyone since
15:14the divorce
15:15and dad said
15:17he doubted it
15:18and then they both
15:20laughed
15:21hey
15:37Susan
15:38hi Mike
15:39I brought you
15:40a little housewarming gift
15:41I probably should have
15:43brought something
15:43by earlier
15:44actually you're the first
15:46in the neighborhood
15:46to stop by
15:47really
15:48Susan knew she was lucky
15:49well
15:50an eligible bachelor
15:51had moved on to
15:52Wisteria Lane
15:53and she was the first
15:54to find out
15:54but she also knew
15:56the good news
15:57hello there
15:58travels quickly
15:59Edie Britt was the most
16:01predatory divorcee
16:02in a five block radius
16:04her conquests
16:06her conquests
16:06were numerous
16:07varied
16:10and legendary
16:15hi Susan
16:18I hope I'm not
16:20interrupting
16:20you must be
16:23Mike Delfino
16:24hi I'm Edie
16:25Britt
16:26I live over there
16:27welcome
16:29to Wisteria Lane
16:31Susan had met
16:32the enemy
16:33and she
16:34was a slut
16:35thank you
16:36what's this
16:37sausage puttanesca
16:39it's just something
16:40I threw together
16:41thanks
16:42Edie
16:43that's
16:44great
16:44I'd invite you both in
16:47but I was sort of
16:48in the middle of something
16:49oh I
16:49no problem
16:50I just wanted to say hi
16:51and just like that
16:52the race for Mike Delfino
16:54had begun
16:55for a moment
16:57Susan wondered
16:58if her rivalry with Edie
16:59would remain friendly
17:00oh Mike
17:02I heard you're
17:03a plumber
17:04that she was reminded
17:06that when it came to men
17:07do you think you could
17:08stop by later tonight
17:09and take a look
17:10at my pipes
17:11women
17:11don't fight fair
17:13sure
17:13thanks
17:15bye Susan
17:22you can't order me around
17:25like I'm a child
17:26Gabrielle
17:26no no no I'm not going
17:28it's business
17:29Tanaka expects everyone
17:30to bring their wives
17:31every time I'm around
17:32that man he tries
17:33to grab my ass
17:34I made over 200,000
17:36doing business
17:37with him last year
17:37if he wants to grab
17:38your ass
17:39you let him
17:40John
17:49ow
17:49Mrs. Solis
17:52you scared me
17:54why is that bush
17:54still there
17:55you were supposed
17:55to dig it up
17:56last week
17:56I didn't have time
17:57last week
17:58I don't want to hear
17:58your excuses
17:59just take care of it
18:01I really hate
18:05the way you talk
18:06to me
18:06and I really hate
18:07that I spent
18:08$15,000
18:09on your diamond
18:09necklace
18:10that you couldn't
18:10live without
18:11but I'm learning
18:12to deal with it
18:13so
18:14can I tell
18:15Tanaka
18:15we'll be there
18:16tomorrow night
18:16John
18:17we have bandages
18:19top shelf
18:20in the kitchen
18:20thanks Mrs. Solis
18:22fine
18:27I'll go
18:28but I'm keeping
18:29my back
18:30pressed against
18:30the wall
18:31the entire time
18:32see
18:33now this is
18:35what a marriage
18:35is all about
18:36compromise
18:37is your finger
18:44okay
18:45yeah
18:45yeah
18:46it's just a small cut
18:47let me see
18:48you know
19:06Mrs. Solis
19:07um
19:07I
19:08really
19:09like it
19:10when we
19:10hook up
19:11but um
19:12well you know
19:13I gotta get
19:14my work done
19:14and I can't
19:15afford to lose
19:16this job
19:16this table
19:20is hand carved
19:21Carlos had it
19:23imported from
19:23Italy
19:24it cost him
19:25$23,000
19:26you
19:29want to do it
19:30on the table
19:30this time
19:31absolutely
19:33why can't we
19:50ever have
19:50normal soup
19:51Danielle
19:52there is
19:52nothing abnormal
19:53about basil
19:54puree
19:54just once
19:55can we have
19:56a soup
19:56that people
19:56have heard
19:57of
19:57like
19:58french onion
19:59or navy bean
20:00first of all
20:01your father
20:01can't eat onions
20:02he's deathly allergic
20:03and I won't even
20:03dignify your
20:04navy bean
20:05suggestion
20:06so
20:07how's the
20:09also
20:09book going
20:10it's okay
20:11it's okay
20:13Andrew I spent
20:15three hours
20:16cooking this meal
20:16how do you think
20:17it makes me feel
20:17when you say
20:18it's okay
20:19in that sullen tone
20:20who asked you
20:21who asked you
20:21to spend
20:22three hours
20:22on dinner
20:23excuse me
20:28Tim Harper's mom
20:30gets home
20:31from work
20:31pops open
20:32a can of
20:32pork and beans
20:33and boom
20:33they're eating
20:34everyone's happy
20:35you'd rather
20:36I serve pork
20:36and beans
20:37apologize
20:38now I am begging
20:39I'm saying
20:39do you always
20:40have to serve
20:40cuisine
20:41can't we ever
20:42just have food
20:42are you doing
20:43drugs
20:43what
20:44change in behavior
20:45is one of the
20:46warning signs
20:46and you have
20:47been as fresh
20:47as paint
20:48for the last
20:48six months
20:49certainly would
20:51explain why
20:51you're always
20:52locked in the
20:52bathroom
20:52trust me
20:53that is not
20:53what he is
20:54doing
20:54shut up
20:55mom
20:56I'm not the
20:56one with the
20:57problem here
20:57alright
20:57you're the
20:58one always
20:58acting like
20:59she's running
20:59for mayor
20:59Stepford
21:00Rex
21:02seeing that
21:04you're the
21:04head of this
21:05household
21:05I would
21:05really appreciate
21:06you saying
21:06something
21:07pass the salt
21:11three days
21:25after my
21:25funeral
21:26Lynette
21:26replaced her
21:27grief
21:27with a much
21:27more useful
21:28emotion
21:29indignation
21:31Tom
21:31this is my
21:32fifth message
21:33and you still
21:33haven't called
21:34me back
21:35well you must
21:36be having a lot
21:37of fun on your
21:37business trip
21:38I can only
21:39imagine
21:39well guess
21:40what the kids
21:41and I want
21:41to have some
21:42fun too
21:42so unless
21:43you call me
21:43back by noon
21:44we are getting
21:45on a plane
21:46and joining
21:46you
21:46mom
21:47not now
21:48honey
21:48mommy's
21:48threatening
21:49daddy
21:49mom
21:50no I
21:51where are
21:53your brothers
21:53noodles
21:54my favorite
21:56Lynette
22:03Scalvo
22:03crap
22:04Natalie
22:05Klein
22:06I don't
22:07believe it
22:08Lynette
22:09how long
22:10has it been
22:11years
22:12how are you
22:14how's the firm
22:14good
22:15everyone misses
22:17you
22:17yeah
22:18we all say
22:19if you hadn't
22:19quit
22:19you'd be running
22:20the place
22:21by now
22:21yeah
22:22well
22:23so
22:25how's
22:26domestic life
22:28don't you just
22:29love being a mom
22:31and there it was
22:33the question
22:34that Lynette
22:34always dreaded
22:35well
22:36to be honest
22:37for those
22:38who asked it
22:38only one answer
22:39was acceptable
22:40so Lynette
22:42responded
22:42as she always
22:43did
22:43she lied
22:45that's the best
22:46job I've ever
22:46had
22:47you know what I get
23:00what
23:01why you married
23:03Mrs.
23:03Louise
23:03well
23:08he promised to give me
23:11everything I've ever
23:11wanted
23:12did he
23:14yes
23:16and
23:18why aren't you
23:19happy
23:19turns out
23:22I wanted
23:23all the wrong
23:23things
23:24so
23:26do you love him
23:27I do
23:30well
23:31then why are we here
23:32why are we doing this
23:34because I don't want to
23:36wake up one morning
23:37with a sudden urge
23:38to blow my brains out
23:39hey can I have a drag
23:45absolutely not
23:46you are much too young
23:49to smoke
23:49how would you feel
23:53about me using your
23:54child support payments
23:55for plastic surgery
23:56stop being so nervous
23:57you're just asking him
23:58out to dinner
23:59it's no big deal
24:00you're right
24:01so
24:03is that your
24:04project for school
24:04you know
24:05when I was in
24:05fifth grade
24:06I made the
24:06white house
24:07out of sugar cubes
24:07stop stalling
24:09and go
24:09before Mike
24:10figures out
24:11he can do better
24:11tell me again
24:13why I fought
24:14for custody of you
24:15you were using
24:17me to hurt dad
24:17oh
24:19that's right
24:20oh
24:23god
24:23hi
24:32hey Susan
24:34are you busy
24:36no
24:36not at all
24:37what's up
24:37well I
24:39I just
24:40was wondering
24:41if
24:42if there was any
24:43chance that
24:44you
24:45I just
24:49wanted to ask
24:50if
24:51Edie
24:53hey there Susan
24:54what are you
24:55I was making
24:56ambrosia
24:57and I made
24:57too much
24:58so I thought
24:58I'd bring
24:58some over
24:59to Mike
24:59what's going on
25:02Susan was just
25:03going to ask
25:03me something
25:04I have a clog
25:11excuse me
25:13and you're a
25:14plumber
25:14right
25:15yeah
25:15the clog's
25:17in the pipe
25:17yeah that's
25:19usually where
25:19they are
25:19well
25:20I've got one
25:22okay
25:23well let me
25:23get my tools
25:24now
25:24you want to
25:25come over
25:25now
25:25you have
25:26company
25:27I don't
25:28mind
25:28I just
25:30give me two
25:31minutes
25:31I'll be right
25:31over
25:32that's it
25:42just
25:43stuff
25:43the hair
25:44down
25:44I
25:44stuffed
25:45it
25:45it's not
25:45enough to
25:45clog it
25:46here
25:46put in this
25:49paper
25:50and this
25:52cooking oil
25:53mom
25:55I'm telling you
25:57it's not
25:57working
25:58oh god
26:00that's him
26:01how am I
26:03going to
26:03stop with
26:03the sink
26:04well here's
26:13your problem
26:14looks like
26:15somebody stuffed
26:16a bunch of
26:17popsicle sticks
26:18down here
26:18I've told
26:20Julie a million
26:20times not to
26:21play in the
26:21kitchen
26:22kids you know
26:23all right
26:30I'll go put
26:30in your
26:31orders
26:31and I'll
26:31be right
26:32back with
26:32your drinks
26:32and your
26:32place for
26:33the salad
26:33bar
26:33thank you
26:35Andrew
26:36can you
26:37have
26:37kids
26:37they have
26:40video games
26:41should we
26:42go play
26:43until our
26:43food gets
26:44here
26:44Andrew
26:45this is
26:46family time
26:47I think
26:47that we
26:48should
26:48go ahead
26:48and play
26:48I know
26:58that you
26:59think
26:59I'm angry
26:59about coming
27:00here
27:00but I'm
27:00not
27:01you and
27:02the kids
27:02wanted a
27:02change of
27:03pace
27:03something
27:03fun
27:04I get
27:05it
27:05probably
27:07we'll want
27:08something
27:08healthier
27:08tomorrow night
27:09though
27:09I'm thinking
27:09about
27:10chicken
27:10salt
27:11and bokeh
27:11I want
27:12a divorce
27:12I just
27:17can't live
27:17in this
27:18detergent
27:21commercial
27:21anymore
27:21the salad
27:24bar is
27:24right over
27:25there
27:25help
27:25yourself
27:26thank you
27:27um
27:31I think
27:31I'll go
27:32get your
27:32salad
27:32for you
27:33brie bandicamp
27:47oh
27:48hello
27:49mrs.
27:50huber
27:50we didn't
27:51get a chance
27:52to talk
27:52at mary
27:53alice's wake
27:54how are you
27:54doing
27:55brie longed
27:57to share
27:58the truth
27:58about her
27:59husband's
27:59painful betrayal
28:00but sadly
28:01for brie
28:02admitting
28:03defeat
28:03was not
28:04an option
28:04great
28:05everything
28:07is just
28:08great
28:08okay
28:10well I
28:10got you
28:10the honey
28:11mustard
28:11dressing
28:12the ranch
28:12looked just
28:12a little
28:13bit suspect
28:13are we
28:24going to talk
28:25about what I
28:25said
28:25if you think
28:26I'm going to
28:27discuss the
28:27dissolution of my
28:28marriage in a
28:29place where the
28:29restrooms are
28:30labeled chicks and
28:30dudes
28:31you're out of
28:32your mind
28:32what's in
28:36this
28:36what do you
28:37mean what's
28:37in this
28:37it's salad
28:38with onions
28:41what
28:42you put
28:43onions in
28:44my salad
28:44no I
28:45didn't
28:46oh wait
28:51the sound
29:01that awakened
29:01my son
29:02was something
29:03he'd heard
29:03only once
29:04before
29:04many years
29:05ago
29:06when he
29:06was quite
29:07young
29:07but he
29:10recognized
29:11it instantly
29:12it was the
29:20sound
29:21of a family
29:22secret
29:22seven days
29:44after my
29:44funeral
29:45life on
29:45wisteria lane
29:46finally
29:47returned to
29:47normal
29:48which for
29:50some of my
29:50friends
29:51was unfortunate
29:54mommy mommy
29:57now what
29:58daddy's home
30:00daddy's home
30:02is anybody home
30:05I wasn't expecting
30:10you for a week
30:11I have to go back
30:12to frisco
30:12in the morning
30:13but I got your call
30:14you sounded a little
30:15frazzled
30:16yeah
30:16it's been a little
30:18rough
30:19honey
30:19yeah
30:20daddy
30:20did you miss
30:21any presents
30:22oh god
30:23presents
30:23wait a minute
30:25let me see
30:25oh
30:29yeah
30:30but I'm not
30:32but I'm not
30:32going to give it to you
30:32unless you promise
30:33me to go outside
30:34right now
30:35and practice throwing
30:36for 20 minutes
30:37okay
30:38you promise
30:38yeah
30:39yeah
30:39get out there
30:40who's open
30:42go out
30:42deeper
30:43get out there
30:44touch down
30:46oh my god
30:48oh
30:48oh
30:51no
30:52oh
30:53gotta be kidding
30:54I'm exhausted
30:56I look terrible
30:57I'm covered in peaches
30:58I'm sorry baby
30:59I gotta have you
31:00alright
31:01well is it okay
31:03if I just lie here
31:04absolutely
31:05love you
31:10I love you more
31:12oh wait
31:15I gotta tell you
31:16I was having trouble
31:16with swelling
31:17so the doctor took me
31:18off the pill
31:18so you're just gonna
31:19have to put on a condom
31:20condom
31:20yeah
31:21what's the big deal
31:22let's risk it
31:23let's risk it
31:25yeah
31:26I can't believe
31:37you tried to kill me
31:38yes well
31:39I feel badly
31:40about that
31:40I told you
31:42Mrs. Huber
31:42came over
31:43and I got distracted
31:43it was a mistake
31:45since when
31:46do you make mistakes
31:47what's that
31:48supposed to mean
31:48it means
31:49I'm sick of you
31:50being so damn
31:51perfect all the time
31:52I'm sick of the
31:55bizarre way
31:55your hair doesn't
31:56move
31:57I'm sick of you
31:58making our bed
31:59in the morning
31:59before I've even
32:00used the bathroom
32:01you're this
32:02plastic suburban
32:04housewife
32:04with her pearls
32:05and her spatula
32:06who says things like
32:07we owe the
32:08hendersons at dinner
32:08where's the woman
32:12I fell in love with
32:13who used to burn
32:17the toast
32:17and drink milk
32:19out of the carton
32:20and laugh
32:23I need her
32:28not this cold
32:30perfect thing
32:31you've become
32:32these need water
32:41Brie sobbed quietly
32:56in the restroom
32:57for five minutes
32:58but her husband
33:00never knew
33:01because when Brie
33:03finally emerged
33:04she was perfect
33:09she was perfect
33:10found my earrings
33:18we can go now
33:19was John here
33:19today
33:20well yeah
33:22the lawn
33:24hasn't been mowed
33:25I've had it
33:26we're getting a real
33:27gardener
33:27why
33:28are you deaf
33:29I just said
33:30he's not doing
33:31his job
33:31it's dark
33:32you just can't see
33:33that the lawn
33:34has been mowed
33:34it hasn't been
33:35feel this grass
33:36I'm not feeling
33:37the grass
33:38let's just get going
33:39come on
33:39we're late
33:40take care of it
33:48yes sir
33:49there's Tanaka
33:56time for me
33:58to go into my dance
33:59good luck sweetheart
34:00oh excuse me
34:06ma'am
34:06you see that man
34:07just walked away
34:07can you make sure
34:09he has a drink
34:10in his hand
34:10all night
34:12long
34:13yes ma'am
34:40no
34:42no
34:42no
34:43no
34:44no
34:46Oh, my God.
35:16Come on, come on, come on.
35:46Susan? Susan!
35:53Mrs. Huber, how are you doing?
35:55Not too well, I'm afraid.
35:56I'm trying to find something to soothe my stomach.
35:59That's upset?
36:00Yeah. I had the worst macaroni and cheese at the wake.
36:04It's been running through me ever since.
36:05Oh.
36:06And I need to be at my best.
36:08Edie Britt's son is spending the night tonight.
36:11He's spending the night?
36:12Apparently, Edie is having a gentleman friend over for dinner.
36:16And I think she plans on entertaining into the wee hours, if you know what I mean.
36:22Oh, here's some antacid. Have you ever tried this?
36:27I can't believe it. This can't be happening.
36:30Mike can't like Edie better than me. He just can't.
36:32You don't know what's going on.
36:34Maybe they're just having dinner.
36:37You're right. They're doing it.
36:46Edie?
36:54Edie?
37:06Edie?
37:07Hello? Anybody home?
37:19I need to borrow sugar.
37:21And just like that, the possibility Susan had clung to,
37:47the maybe of Mike Delfino,
37:49was gone forever.
37:53And despite the precariousness of her situation,
37:57Susan took a moment to mourn her loss.
38:00It didn't take Susan long to realize,
38:29this was just not her night.
38:33Is somebody else there?
38:36Oh, my God!
38:38Let's go!
38:38She was having sex with some guy when the fire started.
38:43What happened to him?
38:44He got smoke inhalation. He's at the hospital.
38:47Susan, are you all right? You look awful.
38:51Susan, are you all right? You look awful.
38:53I'm fine. I'm fine. I just, uh...
38:55feel really bad for Edie.
38:58Oh, honey, don't worry about Edie.
39:02Oh, honey, don't worry about Edie. She's a strong lady.
39:04Absolutely. She'll get through this. She'll find a way to survive. We all do.
39:06Kids.
39:07Kids.
39:08Kids, don't worry about Edie!
39:10Smoke inhalation. He's at the hospital.
39:13Susan, are you all right? You look awful.
39:17I'm fine. I'm fine. I just feel really bad for Edie.
39:23Oh, honey, don't worry about Edie. She's a strong lady.
39:26Absolutely. She'll get through this.
39:28She'll find a way to survive.
39:30We all do.
39:31Kids, don't worry about this!
39:34Come on.
39:40All the other houses are going to fall apart.
39:55Wow, what happened?
39:57Mike!
39:58And suddenly, there he was, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
40:02I thought you were...
40:04Where were you?
40:06I just got back from the movies.
40:08Edie had a fire, huh?
40:10Yeah.
40:11Yeah, but she's fine now.
40:15Everything's fine now.
40:17And just like that, Susan was happy.
40:20Life was suddenly full of...
40:23possibilities.
40:30Not to mention a few unexpected surprises.
40:33Hello?
40:39Hey, it's me.
40:40Do you have anything yet?
40:41No.
40:42No, nothing yet, but don't worry.
40:44I'm definitely getting closer.
40:55I brought some champagne.
40:56I thought we should have a toast.
40:58The next day, my friends came together to pack away my clothes,
41:03my personal belongings,
41:04and what was left of my life.
41:09All right, ladies, lift him up.
41:11To Mary Alice, a good friend and neighbor.
41:14Wherever you are, we hope you've found peace.
41:17To Mary Alice.
41:18To Mary Alice.
41:18Let's get this show on the road.
41:28You guys check out Mary Alice's clothes?
41:31Size 8?
41:32Ha!
41:33She always told me she was a size 6.
41:35I guess we found the skeleton in her closet.
41:37Not quite, Gabrielle.
41:38Not quite.
41:39What's that?
41:40It's a letter addressed to Mary Alice.
41:43How ironic.
41:44To have something I tried so desperately to keep secret,
41:47treated so casually.
41:49What are you doing?
41:50That's private.
41:51It's open.
41:51What's the big deal?
42:04What does this mean?
42:06I don't know, but check out the postmark.
42:08Oh my God, she got it the day she died.
42:10Do you think this is why, she?
42:14I'm so sorry, girls.
42:17I never wanted you to be burdened with this.
42:22Well, Mary Alice, what did you do?
42:24Let's see you next time.
42:43I'm so sorry, girls.
42:44Oh my God, she didn't tell.
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