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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:03Renee was charmed by the new neighbor.
00:06Tips!
00:08Trying to protect Gabby, Carlos committed murder.
00:11We are never going to be able to tell anybody about this.
00:14Are you going to be able to live with that?
00:16And the women swore to keep the secret.
00:19But then Brie received a warning.
00:28When I was alive, Brie Vandekamp was one of my closest friends.
00:34Maybe that's because we had so much in common.
00:39Like Brie, I also received a menacing letter.
00:43One that threatened to shatter the perfect life I had worked so hard to create.
00:50You see, I had once committed a desperate act of my own.
00:55And despite my best efforts to conceal it,
00:59someone found out and was determined to expose me.
01:05I thought about telling my friends.
01:08But I decided not to burden them.
01:13I had hoped that with one final act I could consign my deeds to history.
01:18But I had forgotten that history has a way of repeating itself.
01:28Something interesting?
01:32No.
01:33No, just a letter from a friend who I haven't heard from in a while.
01:39You okay?
01:40I'm fine.
01:43I'm just annoyed because the postman left me Gabby's water bill again.
01:49You go in. I'll just put it back in the box.
01:52All right.
02:08Oh, Karen. You scared me. What are you doing out so late?
02:12What am I, a cat? I'm allowed to be out past ten.
02:14I'm sorry.
02:16Have you seen anyone near my mailbox?
02:19What's the problem?
02:21I just got a letter.
02:24An obscene letter.
02:26That's all?
02:27You gotta be happy that someone still finds you obscene.
02:29Last week, I got called sir three times.
02:32Karen, this is serious.
02:34I need to find out who put this letter in my mailbox.
02:37Why, you're really shaking up?
02:38Yes, I am.
02:41This is very upsetting and I don't know what I'm going to do.
02:44It's just a note, Brie.
02:46Let it go.
02:50Yes, Brie Vandekamp and I had so much in common.
02:55We shared similar lives.
02:58And now Brie found herself praying that we wouldn't share a similar fate.
03:16In the divided world of the suburbs, everyone is looking for a way to connect.
03:22They fend off loneliness with casual conversation.
03:27They share old treasures with a young friend.
03:32They help a neighbor make a difficult move.
03:38But for Carlos and Gabby Solis, the only connection that mattered was the romantic one.
03:45And when it came to maintaining it, Gabby was willing to pull out all the stops.
03:53What are we celebrating?
03:55A new record.
03:56It's been 38 days since we last had sex and that streak is ending tonight.
04:00Seriously, it's been that long?
04:0138 days.
04:03That's like three years in hoo-ha time.
04:06Sweetie, I would love to, but I have way too much work to do.
04:09Uh-uh.
04:09No, no.
04:10No excuses.
04:11I changed the sheets, shaved my legs, and dumped the kids at McCluskey's.
04:15So drop your pants, cowboy, and saddle up.
04:19Yes, ma'am.
04:29Don't feel bad.
04:29It happens to lots of men.
04:32Not me.
04:33Not us.
04:37Well, it has been 38 days.
04:38Maybe the poor little guy forgot what to do.
04:40Not helping.
04:41Not helping.
04:42Listen.
04:44You've been under a lot of stress lately, so relax.
04:47How about I give you a nice massage, we finish the champagne, and later we try again.
04:51Gabby, thanks, but it's not going to work, okay?
05:01Bye.
05:02Like Carlos, Susan Delfino was also feeling disconnected.
05:07Her guilt made the world a strange and scary place, where she could be exposed at any moment.
05:18Hey!
05:19Hold it right there!
05:22I know what you did.
05:24What?
05:24Yeah, and you're not getting away with it.
05:26You thought you could walk out with a case of soda and no one would notice?
05:31Oh.
05:33Uh, I forgot those were down there.
05:35Yeah.
05:35Right.
05:36I've never heard that one before.
05:38Ma'am, I'm going to ask you to step away from the cart and keep your hands where I can
05:40see them.
05:41Everything okay here?
05:42If you consider larceny okay.
05:44Mrs. Delfino, on behalf of Fairview Market, I'd like to apologize for Kevin.
05:49It seems we're all paying the price for his rejection from the police academy.
05:53Oh, well, excuse me for not wanting to live in a world where people can commit crimes without suffering the
05:57consequences.
05:59You are a criminal.
06:01I've known Mrs. Delfino for years.
06:04She pays for the grapes she eats in the produce section.
06:07She would never do anything bad.
06:10Sure, I would.
06:11What?
06:13You don't know me at all.
06:15I'm a very bad person.
06:16I did a horrible thing.
06:18I deserve to be punished.
06:20Let me cuff her.
06:21I have cuffs.
06:21I brought them from home.
06:22No one's getting cuffed.
06:24Just pay for the soda next time you come in.
06:26No, no, no.
06:27No, you need to march me inside and make me pay now.
06:30Mrs. Delfino.
06:31I'm serious.
06:33Make an example of me to deter other criminals.
06:39Fine.
06:40Take her in.
06:41Copy that.
06:43Yep.
06:44Did the crime.
06:46Doing the time.
06:47Dead man walking.
06:53So, what's the damage?
06:54An arm and a leg?
06:55Just an arm?
06:56Not even a finger.
06:58It's a cracked fitting.
06:59I swapped it out.
07:00It's no charge.
07:00Really?
07:01The first guy I called said I had to re-pipe the whole house.
07:03No, that's a scam.
07:05These pipes are top of the line copper.
07:06The guy that put him in did a great job.
07:08How do you know?
07:09It was me.
07:11You just saved me ten grand.
07:13No wonder people say such good things about you.
07:17Well, I'm what our neighbours for.
07:20Anything else, just holler.
07:22Actually, there is one thing.
07:25I'm a real estate developer.
07:27About to break ground on a new project.
07:29And I'm looking for some help.
07:31Local guys that I can trust.
07:33You interested?
07:44Hey, Mike.
07:45Got a minute?
07:46Um, hey, Renee.
07:48We're friends, right?
07:50Well...
07:50Oh, come on.
07:51You fixed my toilet for free.
07:52Um, that wasn't free.
07:54I sent you a bill.
07:55You just haven't paid it.
08:01Anyway, look.
08:02Here's the deal.
08:03Ben likes me.
08:05He just doesn't know it, yet.
08:07Now, I need to find that thing that we connect on.
08:10You've been on the inside.
08:12What can you tell me about it?
08:14Well, he's got copper pipes.
08:16Something personal?
08:18I saw a box of Cheerios.
08:20And a coffee maker.
08:21He must like coffee.
08:22Unless it's for guests.
08:23Oh, my God.
08:24I got more out of the cable guy.
08:26And he's deaf.
08:27Does he have any photos?
08:28Artwork?
08:29Think, Delfino.
08:29Think!
08:30Okay.
08:32Um...
08:32There was this plaque from the mayor.
08:34Something about his work with the elderly.
08:36Really?
08:38He likes the elderly?
08:40Well, I like the elderly.
08:43Since when?
08:44Old people are adorable.
08:46I love the little raisin faces and those tennis balls they put on their walkers.
08:51Thanks.
08:52But the tip?
08:53Friend.
09:00Mom!
09:00Hey!
09:01How was your day?
09:02Awesome!
09:02The guys' hotel is so cool.
09:04We went swimming in the pool and played Marco Polo and Cannonball off the diving board.
09:07And why don't we have a pool?
09:08And then we got hamburgers and french fries and super-sized characola slushies.
09:12Oh!
09:13Sugar and caffeine.
09:14I guess you figured they were too young for meth.
09:16It's just a slushie.
09:18On a school night, she's going to be up until 2am just because you couldn't say no.
09:21Your boy is out of proportion.
09:22Who wants to play Mega Monopoly?
09:24It's just like regular Monopoly but with more stuff.
09:26Can you just keep playing and playing and playing and playing and playing?
09:29Yeah.
09:30Way out of proportion.
09:31Look.
09:32Now that we're really separated, I refuse to be the bad guy all the time.
09:36You have got to learn to say no.
09:38I say it?
09:39Tonight when we walked past the pet shop, they wanted a spider monkey.
09:42I said no.
09:43I'm serious.
09:44Things are different now.
09:46I'm not going to let this be the house of pain while you're living it up at the MTV Beach
09:49House.
09:50You're right.
09:52Things are different now.
09:53For instance, I used to have to stand here and listen to this.
09:56But now I'm thinking...
09:58No.
10:02Hey, look at that.
10:04I'm getting pretty good at this no thing.
10:13It was bad enough when we weren't even trying to have sex, but to try and fail?
10:17Do you think it might have something to do with the stress Carlos is under?
10:20We are all under stress.
10:22You know what's stressful is not having sex for 39 and a half days.
10:24You're sounding a little callous.
10:27I don't mean to.
10:28It's just sex is important to us.
10:30Even in our toughest times, it's what always held us together.
10:33If we don't have that, I'm worried what will happen to us.
10:35I get that.
10:37So, come on girls.
10:38How can I spice things up in the bedroom?
10:42Is this actually happening?
10:44Gabrielle Solis is asking us for sex tips?
10:46I know.
10:47It's the apocalypse.
10:49Well, if you don't mind harsh lighting and blatant misogyny, you can always watch a porno.
10:53Watched one.
10:54Filmed one.
10:54Next.
10:55This may shock you, but sometimes Mike and I like doing it in public.
11:01Huh.
11:01Those of us who wandered by Santa's workshop at the Christmas carnival?
11:04Not that shocked.
11:06You could try role playing.
11:08Once I dressed up in a French maid's costume and Orson pretended to be a stubborn stain,
11:12and why is everybody looking at me?
11:15Seriously guys, I need some new moves.
11:17Well, there's this one mom at school and I promised I wouldn't use her name, Betty Cunningham,
11:21who hired a stripper to teach her how to give her husband a lap dance.
11:25Well, I don't know what a stripper could teach me, but it's worth a shot.
11:27You really think that's gonna work?
11:30Why wouldn't it?
11:33Because I get where Carlos is coming from.
11:36This kind of guilt can really mess with your head.
11:41Something you want to talk about?
11:44Okay, the other day I accidentally took a case of soda from the supermarket and the security guard started yelling
11:50at me,
11:50and at first I was like, no, but then I was like, yes, I deserve it.
11:54I deserve to be punished.
11:56It felt right to be publicly humiliated like that, and why is everybody looking at me?
12:01Because there's a bucket of crazy where your head used to be.
12:05So now I'm crazy.
12:07I thought you said I could talk to you about this stuff.
12:10You can, and we appreciate what you're grappling with, but you cannot go around attracting attention like that.
12:16It's not safe.
12:18Exactly.
12:19So knock it off and go get me some more coffee!
12:23Lunch likes to be yelled at.
12:29Hey, you.
12:31I thought you were at work.
12:33I pronounced the city of Fairview safe enough to have lunch with my girl.
12:38Oh, that would be lovely, but I have something I need to do. Shoot.
12:44Oh yeah, like what?
12:46What?
12:48Unless it's a, it's a big secret.
12:52Is it a big secret?
12:55Chuck!
12:58I'm sorry. You're right. I...
13:01You don't owe me any explanations.
13:04I just, I just need to know that we're okay.
13:08Chuck.
13:10My feelings for you have not changed.
13:12Just my schedule for the day.
13:14Mwah.
13:15Well, that's good.
13:16Because suspicion can be a great trade in police work, but it's horrible in a relationship.
13:20Just ask my ex.
13:23I never want to be that guy again.
13:44Hello there, Karen.
13:46Karen?
13:47What happened to Liver Spot, or Six Feet Under, or one of your other cute nicknames?
13:52No, no, I can't come in. I'm just dropping off another whole-cooked meal.
13:57What meal? What the hell are you yelling for?
14:00Just lift the napkin.
14:03Fifty bucks? What's the catch?
14:05Don't look now, but do you see Ben over there?
14:12Subtle.
14:13Anyway, he has a soft spot for old people, and as far as he knows, so do I.
14:19No, no, your crinkled little smile is thanks enough for me.
14:24Are you pinning me?
14:26Just say nice things about me to Ben.
14:28Tell him I bring him meals, that kind of stuff.
14:30Well, it's a pretty big favor for fifty bucks.
14:34Considering I don't like you, I'll do it for a hundred.
14:37Fine. Tomorrow I'll bring you a C-note in a Jell-O-Mole deal.
14:40Oh, Renee, bless your heart, you're so good to me.
14:43No, you're the one who enriches my life.
14:45The joy I get...
14:48Hands off, he's gone.
14:53Oh, my God.
14:56You think I sent this?
14:58You have any idea how this makes me feel?
15:00Forgive me. I didn't think it was possible to damage the self-esteem of a murderer.
15:04A confessed murderer. And this...
15:06This is the only way you can see me?
15:09Oh! Oh!
15:14Please.
15:20I'm sorry. I've just been so panicked since I got it.
15:23It has the exact same wording as the letter Mary Alice received.
15:27Yes.
15:28That's very weird.
15:32But why are you so worked up about it?
15:35I believe Mary Alice got a little worked up when she got hers.
15:38But she was hiding something.
15:39You weren't.
15:43Right?
15:45Of course not.
15:46It's obviously just a cruel prank, but I still want to know who's responsible.
15:51It had to be someone who knew about the original note.
15:55Well, let's see.
15:56Obviously, there's Martha Huber.
15:58Obviously, she didn't send it.
16:00And there's you, Susan, Lynette, Gabby.
16:03I assume you've already asked them.
16:06Uh, actually, I haven't mentioned it to the girls yet.
16:11I still haven't figured out exactly what it is.
16:14Well, whatever it is, don't keep it to yourself.
16:19If Mary Alice had shared her note with you girls,
16:23things might have turned out a whole different way.
16:35You know, it's recycling day.
16:38So?
16:38So it looks like you're about to put kitchen garbage in your recycling bin.
16:42Oh.
16:43Hope I don't get punished.
16:51Oh, here I am, dropping a turkey carcass in with the recycling.
16:55And here I am, not giving a crap.
17:03Uh-oh. You got me.
17:06Can I bum one?
17:07My old lady made me quit.
17:13Seventeen.
17:15Eighteen.
17:17Nineteen.
17:18Thank God. Those were from last week.
17:29Hello. Uh, Ben, isn't it?
17:32Yes.
17:34Uh, listen, uh, I was just talking to Mrs. McCluskey,
17:37and I gotta say, I really misjudged you.
17:41Oh?
17:41Yeah.
17:43She was telling me all the ways you've helped her.
17:45Well, I like to think I'm doing God's work.
17:47You know, until he takes her in her sleep, or what have you.
17:51Now, I don't know if you knew this,
17:53but I'm quite involved with seniors myself.
17:56Well, get out!
17:58Look at us, having things in common.
18:00Yeah.
18:01So, is there something else I can help you with?
18:06Actually, yes.
18:08Are you free tonight?
18:13Hey, buddy.
18:14What are you thinking for dinner tonight?
18:16Mexican? Chinese?
18:17Actually, there's a party at Rich Cohen's I was hoping to go to.
18:20Yeah? Don't hope too hard.
18:22Why not?
18:23Remember when Rich turned thirteen?
18:24It was the only bar mitzvah ever shut down by the police.
18:27I don't trust his parents.
18:29Well, if it makes you feel better, they're out of town.
18:31Oh. An unsupervised party? Even better.
18:34We're just gonna be eating pizza and watching movies and stuff,
18:36and Rich's older brother will be there.
18:38Perfect. Someone to buy the beer.
18:41So you're saying no? Again?
18:45Uh...
18:49I'm not saying no. I'm saying...
18:52Ask your dad.
18:53Hey! I'm just dropping off a check.
18:55Hang on a sec. Parker has something he wants to ask you.
18:59Parker.
19:00Can I go to a party at Rich Cohen's house tonight?
19:02What did your mom say?
19:04His mom said he should ask his dad.
19:08Oh, well...
19:09His parents are gonna be there, right?
19:11Nope. No parents.
19:15And... Rich Cohen?
19:17Didn't something happen at his bar mitzvah?
19:18Lots of things happened. Drinking. Pot smoking.
19:21The Whitaker girl got pregnant.
19:22It sounds like you already made up your mind here.
19:25No, no, no. I have not made up my mind. It is entirely up to you.
19:30You hear that, Dad? Entirely up to you.
19:35Well, it seems like your mom doesn't think this is a good idea.
19:38I didn't say that. I don't not think it's a good idea.
19:40Oh, so you do, do think it's a good idea?
19:43I don't not think it's not... not... a good idea.
19:47Okay, I'm confused.
19:48Well, if your mom's not saying no, I'm not saying no either.
19:50Well, if your dad's not saying no, I'm sure as hell not going to say no.
19:53So is that a yes?
19:54Well, it's not a no. Sweet.
20:04Are you sure this thing is safe?
20:06My son plays fireman on mine all the time.
20:08Do you want to see a picture?
20:10Let's not make this sadder than it is.
20:12Alright, so my husband's having a little problem in the bedroom.
20:15With his wiener?
20:16Yes, with his wiener.
20:18Well, you can relax because I'm like a doctor and I see this problem all the time with older women.
20:25Older? Excuse me, I don't think our ages are that far apart. When were you born?
20:281992.
20:29Me too. Alright, enough chit-chat. Give me a taste of what I'm gonna learn here.
20:41Okay, I'll do ya. Let me try.
20:43That was kind of advanced. I was thinking maybe we could start with something simple, like grinding on a chair.
20:49Okay, will you stop treating me like a grandma? I do yoga and Zumba and kickboxing. I'm in excellent shape.
20:56Okay.
21:00Not bad. Okay, now ass up, legs out, and remember, slow is sexy.
21:08Okay.
21:11A little harder than it looks.
21:13No worries. You'll pick it up in no time. Six months tops.
21:16What? I can't wait that long. I need your moves, your body. My ass, but basically I need to be
21:23you by tonight.
21:26Hey, what are you doing tonight?
21:27I'm headlining at Double D's.
21:29If I triple your pay, would you mind being the opening act here?
21:36Ben, I don't know how the food is, but I already love this restaurant. We are the youngest people here.
21:41Oh, this isn't a restaurant.
21:46This is the senior center. Welcome to the Ben Faulkner function room.
21:52We're not eating here, are we?
21:54No, no, we're serving.
21:56Well, we can eat afterwards if there are, you know, leftovers.
22:00Oh, fun.
22:02But I'm a little underdressed.
22:06There you go.
22:09Yeah, no, you're perfect.
22:14Gabby, FYI, guys who used to be blind don't enjoy reliving it.
22:17Relax, you're going to love this.
22:19Now just sit back and get ready for takeoff.
22:31Yeah.
22:33Wow, you've been working out.
22:36I have, but that's not my ass.
22:39It's a professional.
22:41Meet Dakota.
22:43What the hell, what is this?
22:45A gift from your wife.
22:47I work at Double D's, out by the interstate.
22:50Not the one by the airport that had the hepatitis scare.
22:54You hired a stripper.
22:55Only as a warm up act.
22:57Then later on she'll clear out and it's just you and me for the main event.
23:01Nope, not doing this.
23:03Hang on, idea.
23:04Sit down.
23:07Oh, okay, what are you doing?
23:09I thought...
23:11God, he's fried your body.
23:12It's like a dolphin.
23:13Give it a little spank.
23:14Nothing will fix his problem quicker than a little girl on girl action.
23:18My problem?
23:20You told her.
23:22Okay, quick, make out with me.
23:23Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me?
23:27Doctor, you can go now.
23:33How could you do that to me?
23:34Try to get our sex life back on track?
23:36Carlos, even at our worst, this is the one thing that's always worked for us.
23:40I just want us to get back to normal.
23:42We're never going back to normal!
23:43Don't you understand that?
23:47What I did...
23:50You can't wish it away.
23:52It is with me all the time.
23:55Whether I'm awake or asleep.
24:02Or try to make love to you.
24:05I'm sorry, I just wish there was something I could do.
24:10There's not.
24:21What's that?
24:23I don't know.
24:25Is it good?
24:27Let me clue you in on something.
24:29Food is usually either good or free.
24:33How come your dress is so fancy?
24:35Because I'm on a date with that hot Aussie over there.
24:39He just failed to mention what the date was.
24:43Ben brought you to sling food dressed like that?
24:46Honey, I think he's messing with you.
24:58I hope you had a good laugh.
25:00Be thankful I shoved that on your head.
25:02There was another option.
25:09Grenade, stop.
25:11Why?
25:11So you can mock me some more?
25:13I wasn't mocking you.
25:16Okay, but I mean, you did kind of deserve it.
25:18I mean, your whole I heart old people thing.
25:21I was trying to find something we had in common.
25:24And now I know we have nothing in common.
25:27You're a good person who does things like this and I'm me.
25:32You're not a good person?
25:33No, Ben, I'm not.
25:35Because truthfully doing charity makes me nauseous.
25:39Yeah, me too.
25:41What?
25:42Makes me uncomfortable too.
25:43But I know why that is.
25:45Do you?
25:48I don't want to talk about this.
25:50What?
25:50Are you afraid of saying something truthful?
25:55When my mom died, I was bounced around from relative to relative.
26:02Most of them dirt poor.
26:03We were on the receiving end of a lot of charity.
26:07I spent plenty of time in places like this and I hated it.
26:12They hand you something.
26:14A dented can of food or an ugly shirt.
26:17And someone tells you, say thank you to the nice lady.
26:20And you do.
26:21But secretly you want to scream, I hate you.
26:26I know what it's like to claw your way out of something.
26:31Look at us.
26:34Having things in common.
26:50It's about time.
26:55Is there a problem, officer?
26:57Yeah, you're parked in a fire zone.
26:59Oh, darn the luck I am.
27:02Well, it sounds like somebody's going to be slapped with a pretty steep fine.
27:06Yeah, I should write you a ticket.
27:07Oh.
27:10But if you promise not to do it again, I'll let you offer the warning.
27:13What?
27:14Why would you do that?
27:15Because I'm a new dad.
27:17Oh, jeez.
27:18Abigail Dorothy Brovka.
27:20Eight pounds, six ounces.
27:22So happy.
27:23Filled with love.
27:24Anything short of a triple murder.
27:26I'm pretty much looking the other way.
27:28No, no.
27:29No, don't look the other way.
27:30No, look this way.
27:32Laws have been broken.
27:33There must be consequences.
27:34I just want to get home to my baby.
27:36I mean, look at her.
27:38All wrapped up like the tastiest little burrito in Fairview.
27:41Oh, look at that.
27:45That was not cool.
27:47Unfortunately for you, I always carry a backup.
27:50Are you kidding me?
27:51What do I have to do to get arrested here?
27:54Lady, people like you used to drive me nuts.
27:56But nothing can faze me now that this sweet little girl has come into my life.
27:59Yeah, that sweet little girl, she's got dumbo ears.
28:07Ah.
28:08Ma'am, you can turn around.
28:09Put your hands behind your back.
28:11The race remains silent.
28:13Anything you say can and will be used against you.
28:15Court of law.
28:18Hey, Mike.
28:20Um, I, uh...
28:21I've got a bit of a problem.
28:23Maybe you can help me out with it.
28:25I can try.
28:26What's the problem?
28:27You.
28:30How am I supposed to hire you when I can't get you bonded?
28:33Who knew?
28:35Mike Delfino, suburban dad.
28:37Guy who keeps the neatest lawn on the block.
28:40Ex-con?
28:43Yep.
28:44And you were gonna mention this when?
28:46Look, I'm sorry. It's not something I tend to lead with when I meet somebody.
28:50Because you're not that guy anymore.
28:51That's right.
28:54A bad cop tried to rape your girlfriend.
28:57And, uh, you fought him to protect her.
29:00Tell me why you wouldn't want to be that guy anymore.
29:02That was a long time ago.
29:04I was a kid.
29:05I learned life's a lot more complicated than I thought.
29:09No.
29:10No.
29:10Life is brutally simple.
29:13Life is getting what you want and protecting who you love.
29:18And everything else is weakness.
29:20A guy like you.
29:22A guy like you knows it.
29:25Ben, if this is all just to tell me you can't use me, I understand.
29:28No, no, no, no. I didn't say that. I said I couldn't bond you.
29:33I can definitely use you.
29:38I hope you've cooled off a bit.
29:40Yeah.
29:41Well, uh, spending a few hours in a cell with a dropped transvestite will do that, too.
29:47Your baby's cute, by the way.
29:51I swear she'll grow into those ears.
29:53Thanks.
29:54The guy called to pick you up's here.
30:03Carlos, thanks for coming.
30:05Couldn't call Mike.
30:06And, uh, I didn't want to upset the girls, so...
30:09You okay?
30:09They told me you assaulted a motorcycle cop.
30:13Actually, it was just a motorcycle.
30:17That doesn't sound like you.
30:19I've been in this weird place lately.
30:23I...
30:25I keep doing things, hoping to get caught.
30:29Does it help?
30:31For five minutes.
30:34And then I just feel guilty again.
30:40I just don't know how to pull myself out of this.
30:44I get it.
30:46Like how he keeps pushing me to act like everything's normal.
30:50I guess we're just supposed to stuff everything down and move on.
30:53But that's impossible.
30:55The girls are playing poker and acting like things are fine.
31:00And they're not.
31:11It is nice to be able to talk about this.
31:15It is.
31:19Do you want to get some coffee?
31:23Sounds good.
31:42Parker, it's me. It's getting late. Is everything okay?
31:46Everything is fine, m'lady.
31:49Who's this?
31:50Toph.
31:51If this is a booty call, Toph is ready to fill in.
31:54Where is Parker?
31:56I don't know, man.
31:58It's kind of a Lord of the Flies situation here.
32:01So, are we hooking up or what?
32:04Ah!
32:07Parker!
32:10Parker!
32:11Excuse me, excuse me, I'm looking for my son.
32:14Parker Scobble, I'm hoping you know him.
32:16Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand!
32:19And now I'm hoping you don't.
32:21Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand!
32:23Oh, hold on. This is a private party.
32:26I'll just be a minute.
32:27Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you, some kind of narc?
32:28No, I'm just looking for my son. I swear, I'm not a narc.
32:32Exactly what a narc would say.
32:34Step aside, kid.
32:35Lady, I said no.
32:37Listen to me.
32:39My son is here somewhere and he is probably drunk and probably terrified and I've got to find him.
32:44Sorry, there's no way we're letting a narc into our party.
32:47I am not a narc.
32:53Okay, would a narc do this?
33:00Lettings!
33:01Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand! Kickstand!
33:06Did Nat?
33:07Uh, Tome!
33:11This isn't what it looks like. I haven't been drinking.
33:14I mean a little.
33:16What are you doing here?
33:17But Parker called me to pick him up because he drank too much!
33:20Where is he?
33:20He's in the car. He sent me back because he lost his phone.
33:23Is he okay?
33:24He's covered in puke, which I'm hoping is his.
33:26Oh, God.
33:28This is your fault for letting him come here.
33:31My fault? You could have stopped him.
33:33Oh, please. You knew it was a bad idea. You were just too busy testing me.
33:37No, I was giving you a chance to stand up and be a father.
33:41Now we've got a 16-year-old son we have to clean off of the garden hose.
33:44I guess you showed me.
33:54You asleep?
33:56Yeah. I thought I'd let him sober up before we punish him.
34:02I know I shouldn't have let him go tonight.
34:06But right now, saying yes is the only move I got.
34:11Move? What is this? Some kind of game you're trying to win?
34:17Lynette, you have no idea what this is like for me.
34:21For 20 years, I had the same bedtime ritual.
34:24I'd brush my teeth and I'd go look at each kid sleeping.
34:27And no matter what crap happened during the day,
34:31I knew the things that mattered were okay.
34:34Now my ritual, I brush my teeth.
34:38So, yes.
34:41I'm doing everything I can to make the little time that I spend with them the best part of their
34:44week.
34:45Well, you're succeeding.
34:47When I see them sprint out to the car so excited to see Daddy,
34:52part of me thinks, great, they're okay with this.
34:56And part of me thinks,
34:59oh, crap.
35:01I'm losing them to you.
35:05So you're trying to win, too?
35:07No.
35:13I just...
35:15I understand how you feel.
35:21And the only way we're going to get through this is if we stop worrying about who wins.
35:38I'm sorry to burden you with this, but I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.
35:42Why not?
35:43Why don't you have to tell me?
35:45Repression is like your thing.
35:47Okay, let's say someone knows.
35:49They're not asking us for money.
35:50They're not trying to blackmail us.
35:52I say until they tell us what they want, we just act like everything's normal.
35:56Except I'm drinking a lot more.
35:59You don't think we should tell the others?
36:00Well, we can't tell Susan.
36:01She's already flipping out.
36:03You're right, and we shouldn't tell Annette, given what's going on in her marriage.
36:05Or Carlos, given what's going on in mine.
36:09So you don't think we should do anything?
36:13Well, there is one thing I've been telling you you need to do.
36:16Get rid of Chuck.
36:18You're right.
36:18I should.
36:19But, um...
36:20But what?
36:20This is going to sound strange.
36:24He makes me feel safe.
36:26Safe?
36:27Yeah, I do think that's strange.
36:28Especially now that some lunatic knows.
36:30But you've got to end this, and you've got to end it now.
36:36Chuck?
36:42Now, isn't that funny?
36:44I was just thinking to myself, how am I going to wash my back in the shower?
36:48And then you walk in.
36:50Serendipity, huh?
36:53Sorry.
36:54I'm going to pass.
36:57Okay.
37:00Is something on your mind?
37:04I can't wait.
37:07Breathe.
37:08Go ahead, take your shower.
37:37Hello?
37:39I have a collect call from Fairview Correctional Institution. Will you accept the charges?
37:43Yes.
37:46Bree, it's Paul Young. I've been thinking about what you asked me. You know who might have known about Mary
37:52Alice's note?
37:53Yeah.
37:54When I confessed to the murder of Martha Huber, I mentioned the letter to the police.
38:01Well, do you remember who these policemen were?
38:03The main detective was a tall guy with a short name like Pence or Vince.
38:09Was it Vance? Chuck Vance?
38:12Yes. That's it.
38:14I have to go.
38:25Okay. I know that was the shortest shower I've ever taken, but I...
38:29I really didn't like the look on your face before. Be honest with me, Bree.
38:34Are you about to break up with me?
38:41Of course not.
38:44In fact, let's get you back in that shower.
38:47Mm-hmm.
38:51Yes.
38:52In the divided world of the suburbs, everyone is looking for some way to make a connection.
39:00Some seek to connect by focusing on a greater good.
39:07Some, by revealing a common history.
39:13Some, by sharing a pain no one else can heal.
39:21Then there are those who once sought to make a connection, but they now want desperately to escape.
39:31Uncle Grace.
39:31No.
39:32No.
39:32No.
39:33No.
39:33No.
39:34No.
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