- 6/14/2025
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00:00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:00:03Grandma's here.
00:00:04In life...
00:00:05It's called a post-nuptial agreement.
00:00:07I'm not signing this.
00:00:09Sign it!
00:00:10Stop! You're hurting me!
00:00:12This is Elise. What are you doing here?
00:00:14You can't change what's already been done.
00:00:16People leave trails. One of those trails will lead to Deirdre.
00:00:19I'm not taking my money to the grave. I'm gonna use it to save your ass.
00:00:22Or who people really are.
00:00:24Andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay.
00:00:30Every morning as she went to take out her trash,
00:00:36Lynette Scavo would indulge in a little daydream.
00:00:39The details of which were always the same.
00:00:43One day, her nasty neighbor Karen McCluskey would keel over and die.
00:00:50And her home would be bought by a lovely Swedish family
00:00:54with two adorable twin daughters.
00:00:57The families would form an everlasting friendship.
00:01:02Culminating in their daughters marrying her sons at an elaborate wedding.
00:01:07The Scavo's wouldn't have to pay for.
00:01:13Yes, Lynette enjoyed her little daydream.
00:01:16But Mrs. McCluskey always had a way of pulling her back to reality.
00:01:22Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:01:25Why are you stealing my garbage cans?
00:01:27The garbage pickup was two days ago.
00:01:28These cans have been on the street ever since.
00:01:30I just assumed you didn't want them anymore.
00:01:32Oh, that's very cute.
00:01:33That's good.
00:01:34Here.
00:01:35Give them here.
00:01:36Bad enough, we gotta look at that god-awful color you painted the house.
00:01:39We shouldn't have to stare at your cans for days on end.
00:01:41You wanna talk about good neighbor etiquette?
00:01:43How about you hire a gardener to take care of that jungle you call a lawn?
00:01:46I am on a fixed income.
00:01:48Oh.
00:01:49Well, perhaps you should consider moving somewhere less expensive.
00:01:51Like a nursing home.
00:01:52Go to hell.
00:01:53Run by Germans, hm?
00:01:54And, you know...
00:01:55Oh.
00:01:56Oh.
00:01:57Oh, is it Mrs. McCluskey?
00:01:59Mrs. McCluskey?
00:02:00Are you alright?
00:02:01Oh.
00:02:02I'll get the door.
00:02:03Oh.
00:02:04Oh.
00:02:05Oh.
00:02:06Oh.
00:02:07Oh.
00:02:08I'll get the door.
00:02:09Oh.
00:02:10Oh.
00:02:11Oh.
00:02:12Oh.
00:02:13For a brief moment, Lynette was presented with an interesting choice of options.
00:02:18Oh.
00:02:19Oh.
00:02:20Oh.
00:02:21Oh.
00:02:22Oh.
00:02:23Lynette chose to do the right thing.
00:02:26Lynette, where are they taking me?
00:02:27You're going to the hospital, Mrs. McCluskey.
00:02:29You're going to be fine.
00:02:31I don't want to go alone. Come with me.
00:02:32Oh, um, these are trained technicians,
00:02:35and I've got a roast in the freezer.
00:02:39Please. I'm scared.
00:02:44Yeah, I'll come with you.
00:02:46Okay, here I am.
00:02:49If I die, I don't want it to be with strangers.
00:02:52You're not going to die.
00:02:54How can you be so sure?
00:02:57Of course, Lynette didn't respond.
00:03:00How could she tell her neighbor
00:03:02that some dreams are just too beautiful to come true?
00:03:22You're not going to die.
00:03:37You're not going to die.
00:03:39Life is a journey, one that is much better traveled with a companion by our side.
00:03:57But sometimes we lose our companions along the way, and then the journey becomes unbearable.
00:04:07Ella?
00:04:09I didn't know you were a religious man.
00:04:12What's with the rosary?
00:04:14They found Deirdre.
00:04:16What?
00:04:17Her body had been stuffed inside a toy chest.
00:04:22Can you believe that?
00:04:25A kid's toy chest.
00:04:32She'd been dismembered.
00:04:37Oh, my God.
00:04:43Cops ID'd her from her dental records.
00:04:45She's been dead 15 years.
00:04:53All that time I was looking for, she was already gone.
00:05:00I'm so sorry.
00:05:02I have to bury my baby.
00:05:05I came out here to figure out what kind of tombstone to get her.
00:05:11You shouldn't be doing this now.
00:05:16Let's get you home.
00:05:19There's a cop I want you to talk to.
00:05:21Cop?
00:05:22His name is Sullivan.
00:05:23I paid him to take the heat off you for your neighbor's murder.
00:05:27He'll get you to file on Deirdre's case.
00:05:30I'm sorry.
00:05:31Apparently they have some leads.
00:05:32Yeah.
00:05:33I don't know.
00:05:34I think we may be making a huge mistake.
00:05:36We made our decision.
00:05:37Let's just stick to it.
00:05:38Let's say we leave him here three more weeks.
00:05:39What's the worst that could happen?
00:05:40Our son just told us that he might be gay.
00:05:41There are 200 other boys in this camp.
00:05:43Now, I could explain to you what might happen if we left him here, but I'm a lady and I
00:05:47don't use that kind of language.
00:05:48Now, I bet we're worrying ourselves sick over nothing.
00:05:49This is probably the worst that could happen.
00:05:50I don't know.
00:05:51I don't know.
00:05:52I don't know.
00:05:53I don't know.
00:05:54I don't know.
00:05:55I don't know.
00:05:56I don't know.
00:05:57I don't know.
00:05:58I don't know.
00:05:59I don't know.
00:06:00I don't know.
00:06:01I don't know.
00:06:02I don't know.
00:06:03I don't know.
00:06:04I don't know.
00:06:05I don't know.
00:06:06I think we may be making a huge mistake.
00:06:07We made our decision.
00:06:08We'll get him home.
00:06:09We'll get him into Christian counseling.
00:06:10So it won't become a lifestyle.
00:06:11Well, whatever's going on with him.
00:06:12He's still our son and we love him.
00:06:13Why would you say that to me?
00:06:14Because it's obvious how freaked out you are by the whole gay thing.
00:06:19I may be freaked out, but that doesn't change how I feel about him.
00:06:22I'm just saying.
00:06:23Be cool.
00:06:24I can be just as cool as you can.
00:06:25All right.
00:06:26I can be just as cool as you can.
00:06:27All right.
00:06:28I can be just as cool as you can.
00:06:29All right.
00:06:31I can be just as cool as you can.
00:06:34All right.
00:06:36It'll be nice to have you back.
00:06:49Andrew, I would love you even if you were a murderer.
00:06:55Mommy, the life's not moving.
00:07:06Oh, for Pete's sake.
00:07:08Mommy, I should have.
00:07:10Mom.
00:07:11Mom, kids are waiting.
00:07:12Oh, honey, Hector here teaches salsa dancing at the community center.
00:07:16I give private lessons, too.
00:07:17Oh, I bet you do.
00:07:18Mom.
00:07:19Why should you please not flirt with the ice cream man?
00:07:20Why not?
00:07:21Do you need a reason beyond the fact that he's the ice cream man?
00:07:23It's called moving on with your life.
00:07:25You just broke up with Morty two weeks ago.
00:07:26Don't you think you can at least pretend to mourn the relationship?
00:07:29Oh, you are such a stick in the mud.
00:07:30We should be out there having fun.
00:07:31I know what we can do tonight.
00:07:32We can go to some hip club and get some hot guys.
00:07:34Mom.
00:07:35Oh, it'll be great.
00:07:36I'll say I'm 42 and you can be 28.
00:07:37What?
00:07:38Oh.
00:07:39Oh.
00:07:40Oh.
00:07:41Oh.
00:07:42Oh.
00:07:43Oh.
00:07:44Oh.
00:07:45Oh.
00:07:46Oh.
00:07:47Oh.
00:07:48Oh.
00:07:49Oh.
00:07:50Oh.
00:07:51Oh.
00:07:52Oh.
00:07:53Oh.
00:07:54Oh.
00:07:55Oh.
00:07:56Oh.
00:07:57Oh.
00:07:58Oh.
00:07:59You can pull it off.
00:08:05Miss McCluskey you're back in the hospital already?
00:08:08Turns out I ODed a little bit on my arthritis medication.
00:08:11One pill I can open a jar, four pills I'm face down calling for my life.
00:08:15You'll find out about that soon enough.
00:08:17Well, I'm glad to hear you're all right.
00:08:20Here.
00:08:21That's my way of saying thank you for not letting me die out there in the long.
00:08:25Oh, Miss McCluskey you don't…
00:08:26You don't keep that. It's genuine Tiffany. Been in my family for years.
00:08:31I don't know what to say. It's stunning. Thank you.
00:08:48I didn't fight you in, but...
00:08:50Well, I wanted to tell you what my doctor said.
00:08:51Seasonary arthritis is the least of my problems.
00:08:53See, I had this skin tag, or what I thought was a skin tag,
00:08:56but it turns out it might be more serious.
00:09:03What do you think you're doing?
00:09:04Please, I can't sleep in the den anymore. I need to sleep in a bed.
00:09:07Well, then you might want to try a motel, because you're not coming back in here.
00:09:13How many times have I got to say I'm sorry?
00:09:15Obviously a few more.
00:09:18I am not proud of what I did.
00:09:21I admit, I was way out of line.
00:09:23You went back in this bed?
00:09:24You know what to do.
00:09:28I'm not tearing up the post note.
00:09:30Why not?
00:09:31Because it's the one way that I can ensure you'll be here when I get out of jail.
00:09:34Well, then have fun at the motel.
00:09:38Fine. Tomorrow I'm canceling your credit cards.
00:09:41What?
00:09:42And I'm taking away your ATM as well.
00:09:44What am I supposed to do for money?
00:09:46Maybe once you see how good you've got it here, you'll start treating me with a little respect.
00:09:50You want my respect? Then tear up the post note.
00:09:52Give me my pillow.
00:09:54One more thing.
00:09:57If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you.
00:10:00If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you.
00:10:07Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame that we're not having sex?
00:10:10I feel trapped.
00:10:25You want me to open a window?
00:10:26No, I'm talking about my life.
00:10:28Oh.
00:10:30Are we done making out?
00:10:32No, no. Keep going.
00:10:35So what's up?
00:10:36I'm unhappy with Carlos and my marriage.
00:10:40I feel like I don't have options, and it's driving me crazy.
00:10:43Every time something went south in my life, I always had a plan B.
00:10:46Now I feel like I have nothing.
00:10:48What about me? And can I be your plan B?
00:10:50Damn it, John. What is our new rule?
00:10:53Stop pretending we have a future.
00:10:56And can't you just walk out?
00:10:58No. Because if I leave, then I'll be broke, and that's awful.
00:11:01If I stay, then he's in control, and that's horrifying.
00:11:03And he cut up all my credit cards, which means I'm married to him and unable to shop.
00:11:08Which is probably the worst of all possible worlds.
00:11:11I'm sorry.
00:11:12I'm gonna figure something out.
00:11:16I'm not much fun today. I'm gonna go.
00:11:21Wait.
00:11:25What's this?
00:11:27You deserve nice things.
00:11:28And if Mr. Solis won't provide them, I will.
00:11:30With your student credit card?
00:11:34I own my own business.
00:11:35You mow lawns.
00:11:36I make good money.
00:11:37You know, I have 20 houses, and I'm this close to getting the driving range of the country club.
00:11:40I can't.
00:11:41Yes, you can.
00:11:49I'll pay it off.
00:11:51If you want.
00:11:52But you don't have to.
00:11:53Well, Mrs. Solis, to take care of you, it's my dream.
00:12:00Well, far be it for me to stand in the way of a young man's dream.
00:12:06Okay, Tom.
00:12:07Yeah, I will swing by the dry cleaners after I hit the market.
00:12:10Mm, I don't know.
00:12:11Porter has a dentist appointment at 4 o'clock, so the car might have to wait until tomorrow.
00:12:17Okay.
00:12:18Yeah, I love you, too.
00:12:19Bye-bye.
00:12:20Hi there.
00:12:21I brought you some avocados.
00:12:22I have a train back, but I hate them, and your family seems like the kind that would eat guacamole.
00:12:27Um, Mrs. McCluskey, thank you.
00:12:29That is very nice.
00:12:30So, let's make up a bash.
00:12:31Oh, um, now's not a good time.
00:12:34I'm on my way out.
00:12:35I have a ton of errands.
00:12:36Oh, you know, that's great, because my car's on the fritz, and I could hitch a ride.
00:12:39I need to drop by the pharmacy anyway.
00:12:41No, I can't.
00:12:42I'm sorry, but I have a lot of things to do.
00:12:45Well, maybe you could take me later.
00:12:45I can drop by tomorrow.
00:12:47Mrs. McCluskey, I'm not going to have any time tomorrow.
00:12:49Well, it sounds interesting that you can't spend two minutes with me, but you have no trouble taking my Tiffany lamp.
00:12:57Oh, for God's sakes.
00:13:00Here.
00:13:02You should take this back.
00:13:03I don't have a place for it.
00:13:06But that was my thank you for saving my life.
00:13:08I know, and it was a beautiful gesture, really.
00:13:12But I just...
00:13:14Save it, Lynette.
00:13:15I get the picture.
00:13:17I get the picture.
00:13:30Oh, God.
00:13:31Susie, this is Tim.
00:13:34Sorry if we startled you.
00:13:36Oh, uh, that's okay.
00:13:38I just didn't expect to see anybody up at a quarter to one.
00:13:42Oh, Susie, you should have come out tonight.
00:13:45I met Tim here at the Islands Bar, and he introduced me to this crazy drink.
00:13:51The dirty volcano.
00:13:53What?
00:13:54And then we danced.
00:13:56He dipped me.
00:13:58Sophie's very limber.
00:14:00Um, Mom, could I just talk to you in the family room for a minute?
00:14:05Oh, sure.
00:14:06Susan is your daughter?
00:14:09Yep.
00:14:10No, she can't be.
00:14:11She has.
00:14:12No.
00:14:12Yeah?
00:14:13No.
00:14:13Yeah?
00:14:14No!
00:14:14Okay, we got it.
00:14:17She looks young.
00:14:21Oh, that man has magic fingers.
00:14:24What are you doing?
00:14:25I have a teenage daughter in the house.
00:14:27You can't just bring strange men you meet in bars here in the middle of the night.
00:14:30You just haven't a few laughs?
00:14:32What's the big deal?
00:14:33Look, I know you're trying to get over Morty, but this is not the way to do it.
00:14:35So can you please just go out there and tell him to go home?
00:14:38You know how blue I've been.
00:14:41Why can't you be supportive?
00:14:42I have been plenty supportive.
00:14:43No, you haven't.
00:14:44You really haven't.
00:14:45Now, Tim is my guest, and he will go home when I say so.
00:14:52If he's not gone in five minutes, I'm going to go out there and tell him exactly how old
00:14:56you really are.
00:14:56Damn, it's time for me to go sleepy-bye.
00:15:17Delfino.
00:15:20Yeah?
00:15:22You must be solid.
00:15:23The file on Noah's daughter.
00:15:28Yeah, you said you had some leads.
00:15:31Yeah, sure, we got some leads.
00:15:34Is there a problem?
00:15:36Gee, I don't know.
00:15:38I'm handing a confidential police report over to a killer and drug dealer.
00:15:42Why should that be a problem?
00:15:48Thanks.
00:15:50Is this what our justice system has come to?
00:15:52Guys like you walking the streets without a care in the world?
00:15:56I did my time.
00:15:57Not nearly enough, you piece of garbage.
00:16:03You know, I'm glad we had the chance to meet.
00:16:07Because apparently I'm no longer a murder suspect, thanks to you.
00:16:11So I don't want to seem ungrateful.
00:16:13But just out of curiosity,
00:16:15how much does it cost to buy off a homicide detective these days?
00:16:18Thanks again.
00:16:26Hey, Delfino, one more thing.
00:16:28Now, this file has been displaced.
00:16:48Understand?
00:16:49If even a whisper of us gets traced back to me,
00:16:54there will be one less cop killer on the street.
00:17:03For God's sakes,
00:17:05don't get any blood on the file.
00:17:07Man, I'm sorry, but your credit card has been declined.
00:17:31What?
00:17:33Oh, no, that's impossible.
00:17:34It's a new card.
00:17:36I just went shopping with it.
00:17:37Try it again.
00:17:38Ma'am, I ran it three times, and then I called the bank.
00:17:42Now, may I try another card?
00:17:44Of course you may.
00:17:46Will you just give me a moment?
00:17:47Hello?
00:17:56It's me.
00:17:56I've been trying to call you.
00:17:57Would you turn your cell off?
00:17:59Because I'm in a lovely restaurant,
00:18:00having a lovely meal that I now can't pay for.
00:18:02What, did you order already?
00:18:03I ate already.
00:18:05Look, the credit card company called my mom.
00:18:07I mean, they said that there was unusual activity on my card.
00:18:09I bought shoes.
00:18:10Well, I didn't know that, you know,
00:18:11and then my mom started asking all these questions,
00:18:13so I just blurted out that the card was stolen,
00:18:15and she canceled it.
00:18:16Why would they call your parents as your account?
00:18:19They co-signed for it.
00:18:21Look, if you just explain to the waiter...
00:18:23What?
00:18:24That the credit card was canceled by my lover's mommy?
00:18:26What other options do you have?
00:18:28Unless you return the shoes and get the money back.
00:18:30Return the shoes?
00:18:32I can't talk to you when you're being hysterical.
00:18:37So, ma'am, what would you like to do about the bill?
00:18:46Afternoon.
00:18:53I've got a package for your neighbor, Karen McCluskey.
00:18:55When signing?
00:18:56Well, isn't she home?
00:18:57She usually never goes anywhere.
00:18:58No one answered.
00:19:00All right.
00:19:05Okay.
00:19:07So, let me get this straight.
00:19:19You play tennis, you know wine, and you speak Mandarin.
00:19:23Does every other man in the world want you dead?
00:19:25Well, I'm not that impressive.
00:19:28I pulled a gray hair out of my chest this morning.
00:19:32I don't know.
00:19:32I'd watch your back.
00:19:35You know, I really enjoyed talking to you.
00:19:38You, uh...
00:19:40Well, you made my day.
00:19:43I was thinking if you'd like to get together again.
00:19:45Well, Sam, to tell you the truth, I'm kind of in a relationship right now.
00:19:51I just wanted to be honest.
00:19:53It's perfectly okay, Tina.
00:19:57By the way, this is on me.
00:20:00Oh, no, you shouldn't.
00:20:01Oh, please.
00:20:03It's my pleasure.
00:20:11This is going to be a disaster.
00:20:12It'll be fine.
00:20:13Ah, Andrew?
00:20:16Honey, hurry up.
00:20:17Dinner's ready.
00:20:18It's like we're setting a trap for him.
00:20:20It's for his own good.
00:20:22You'll see.
00:20:24It smells good.
00:20:26What are we having?
00:20:27I'm making homemade bratwurst with sweet and sour cabbage.
00:20:30It's a recipe I found in an old German cookbook.
00:20:35I'll get the door.
00:20:36Honey, why don't you pour the wine?
00:20:41Isn't Danielle spending the night at Wendy's?
00:20:43I believe she is.
00:20:44Well, then why did Mom set the table for four places?
00:20:48Huh?
00:20:49I asked who's coming for dinner.
00:20:52Andrew, you remember Reverend Sykes, don't you?
00:20:56Oh, come on.
00:20:58Reverend, why don't you have a seat and I will get some refreshments?
00:21:02Come on.
00:21:06So, Andrew, it's been a long time.
00:21:11Yes.
00:21:12Yes, it has.
00:21:13Would you like some water?
00:21:14I have flat or bubbly.
00:21:15Oh, bubbly, please.
00:21:17Sue, your mother tells me you've started having some sexual desires for other boys.
00:21:23I don't suppose I could get some of that.
00:21:31Nope.
00:21:32I'm going to need every drop.
00:21:33And over the years, we've had so many young people come to our ministry hating themselves
00:21:41for their unnatural desires, and within a few months, they've found an inner peace and
00:21:45a tranquility that is nothing short of miraculous.
00:21:48Oh.
00:21:49All it takes is a little faith and a desire to change.
00:21:54I'm sorry, but I really don't want to talk about my sex life.
00:21:58Well, that's just too bad, because this needs to be discussed.
00:22:01Bree, please, let the boys speak.
00:22:04Go on.
00:22:05Well, I appreciate your offer to help.
00:22:07I do, but I don't hate myself.
00:22:11So, I'm good.
00:22:14Son, I know what it's like to be a teenager.
00:22:15It's a very confusing time.
00:22:17I'm not confused.
00:22:19I know exactly who I am.
00:22:27Well, if you ever do want to talk, my door is always open.
00:22:37Reverend, I don't mean to criticize, but it sounds like you're giving up.
00:22:43We can't force him on a path of righteousness.
00:22:46He himself has got to want to make the journey.
00:22:50Well, then what do we do?
00:22:51Just stand by while he starts dating boys?
00:22:54And by the way, the correct word is not gay.
00:22:55It's sodomy.
00:22:56We're in the middle of dinner.
00:22:57So?
00:22:58So can you at least wait till dessert before calling our son a sodomite?
00:23:01How you can sit there and be so casual is beyond me.
00:23:03For starters, I knew this dinner was a bad idea the moment you suggested it.
00:23:06Well, at least I'm trying to be proactive.
00:23:08Please, there's no need to get upset.
00:23:10I am upset because there is a problem here.
00:23:12No one seems to notice it but me.
00:23:13As far as I'm concerned, if Andrew is happy with who he is, then it is our job to support him.
00:23:18Your father isn't S&M.
00:23:28Bree!
00:23:29He makes me beat him with a riding crop and I let him.
00:23:31It's no wonder you're perverted.
00:23:33Look who your parents are.
00:23:41Excuse me.
00:23:44What a fun night.
00:23:47You know, we should really do this again sometime.
00:24:00Hey!
00:24:02Hey!
00:24:03Good news.
00:24:04I know why you've been so furious at me.
00:24:07I haven't been furious at you.
00:24:08Well, yes, you have.
00:24:09And I don't blame you.
00:24:11Men have been coming on to me from left and right.
00:24:13And I just, I've been having so much fun and just enjoying life and, well, what do I do?
00:24:18I throw it right in your face.
00:24:20I'd hate me too.
00:24:21Mom, I don't hate you.
00:24:23Well, be that as it may, from here on out, I'm including you in all the fun.
00:24:28The fun?
00:24:29Mm-hmm.
00:24:29Your mother's come through.
00:24:32What have you done?
00:24:34You and I are going on a double date tonight.
00:24:36What?
00:24:36Tim has a friend from the box factory, and I thought the four of us could hang out, have
00:24:40a few drinks and hors d'oeuvres and...
00:24:42I got it.
00:24:42Well, Susie.
00:24:43Mom, I'm sorry.
00:24:45I'm just not in the mood to hang out these days.
00:24:47Susie, sweetie, please.
00:24:48I can't cancel now.
00:24:49Oh, of course you can.
00:24:51Just call him up and tell him not to come over.
00:24:58Tim.
00:24:58Oh, hi, Sus.
00:25:00Hey, this is, this is my buddy, Lamont.
00:25:02I bought peppermint schnapps.
00:25:04I'm sure she's fine.
00:25:18She never leaves her mail sitting out there.
00:25:21I mean, how many times has she thrown hours away because we didn't pick it up the second
00:25:25it came?
00:25:25That would be five.
00:25:27I don't know, Tom.
00:25:28I think something's happened to her.
00:25:30Okay, so go over and check on her.
00:25:31But if I'm wrong, then I'm sucked into a two-hour conversation about bunions.
00:25:36Don't go check on her.
00:25:37But six months from now, when they find her mummified corpse at the bottom of the basement
00:25:40stairs, what do I tell the kids?
00:25:42Oh, yeah, I let Mrs. McCluskey die.
00:25:44Yeah, and why would they care?
00:25:45Like, they're going to miss the dry cleaning coupon she hands out on Halloween.
00:25:49Tom.
00:25:50Listen, honey, what can I say?
00:25:52You're damned if you do.
00:25:53You're damned if you don't.
00:25:54So, uh, good luck with that.
00:25:58Honey, I'm hating you a little bit right now.
00:26:04Hi, honey.
00:26:05Look at my new shoes.
00:26:07Yeah.
00:26:08Aren't they gorgeous?
00:26:09Honey, I'm trying to watch the game.
00:26:13Sorry.
00:26:19How'd you buy new shoes?
00:26:21Shh, talk later.
00:26:22You're watching the game.
00:26:23No, I want to talk about it now.
00:26:25You don't have any money, so what's the story?
00:26:27Oh, you've heard it before.
00:26:29Girl meets boy, boy buys girl things, girl leaves happy.
00:26:33What did you do?
00:26:34You know, I forgot how generous men could be.
00:26:37I also forgot I have options.
00:26:38A whole bunch of them.
00:26:40What the hell are you talking about?
00:26:41I don't need your credit cards, Carlos.
00:26:42And I don't need your money.
00:26:44But if our marriage is going to work, I need your respect.
00:26:47I'm not ripping up the post now.
00:26:48Yes, you are.
00:26:50Because if you don't, I'm going to put on my new shoes and walk out the door.
00:26:55Are you threatening me?
00:26:57No, I'm just pointing something out.
00:26:59I'm a pretty girl.
00:27:01And pretty girls are never lonely.
00:27:02Oh, I'm really ticklish.
00:27:21So, uh, children's books, right?
00:27:24Don't tickle.
00:27:25Well, I hope you know how lucky you are.
00:27:27Not everyone gets to realize their bliss.
00:27:29Yeah, it can be rewarding.
00:27:33Why don't you join me?
00:27:38No.
00:27:39I'm really ticklish.
00:27:41Come on.
00:27:43What's wrong?
00:27:45For God's sake, Tim, she's ticklish.
00:27:46How many times do you have to be told?
00:27:48Nope.
00:27:49This is so much fun.
00:27:50Come on, let's find another CD.
00:27:53Another.
00:27:54Don't you think it's getting a little late?
00:27:55Come on.
00:27:56And you haven't even finished your snob.
00:28:06The perfect tapper to the perfect evening.
00:28:09So, good night.
00:28:11It's been lovely.
00:28:12And, Lamont, good luck with all your inventions.
00:28:14What?
00:28:15It's only 11.30.
00:28:17I want to hit the clock.
00:28:19I know a great place just off the interstate.
00:28:21Come on.
00:28:21Let's warm up the old doorway.
00:28:23Come on.
00:28:23Hold it.
00:28:24You are not getting in a car alone with those two.
00:28:28You barely know them.
00:28:29I have great instincts about people.
00:28:31I always have.
00:28:32Susie, you know that.
00:28:33You've been married four times.
00:28:35Yes.
00:28:36But twice to the same guy.
00:28:40Mother.
00:28:41Susie, please.
00:28:42You are embarrassing me.
00:28:43Oh, I'm embarrassing you?
00:28:45Yes.
00:28:45And I've had it.
00:28:46All night long, I've been trying to get you to something so crappy.
00:28:50And you refuse to let me help.
00:28:52Oh.
00:28:53And your idea of helping is letting Tim just grope you?
00:28:56Hey.
00:28:57You shouldn't talk to your mother like that.
00:28:59She's a fine lady.
00:29:00Tim, could you just stay out of it?
00:29:01Yeah.
00:29:01Mind your own business.
00:29:03Yeah.
00:29:03What's your problem, pal?
00:29:04Dude, you were feeling up her mother.
00:29:06It pissed me off, too.
00:29:07Come on, Susie.
00:29:09Let's go back inside.
00:29:11Let's go back inside.
00:29:12Lamont, give it up.
00:29:13You're not getting any.
00:29:14Why are you being this way?
00:29:18Just, I'm just trying to lighten things up.
00:29:21You stop acting like tonight was about helping me.
00:29:24You wanted to go out and have fun.
00:29:25And Lamont over there needed a date.
00:29:27That's not true.
00:29:28Oh, yes, it is.
00:29:31Okay, fine.
00:29:32It's true.
00:29:33I wanted to get out and have fun.
00:29:35Why shouldn't I?
00:29:36You know how depressed I've been over my breakup with Morty.
00:29:39Yeah, I do.
00:29:40And that's what makes me so crazy.
00:29:41You know, the difference between you and I,
00:29:43that you could be heartbroken and you can just move on.
00:29:46And I am just broken.
00:29:54I know.
00:29:56You're sad.
00:29:57No, Mom.
00:29:58I'm not sad.
00:29:59And I'm not crabby.
00:30:02I'm devastated.
00:30:03And you keep acting like all I need is a couple of aspirin.
00:30:07Morty was just one guy in a series of guys for you.
00:30:11And Mike, he was the one.
00:30:15Why don't you get that?
00:30:26It's Lynette.
00:30:29Hello?
00:30:32Mrs. McCluskey.
00:30:36Mrs. McCluskey, you all right?
00:30:39How did you get in here?
00:30:40Uh, Mr. Mullins had a spare.
00:30:45Why didn't you open the door?
00:30:46Because I was hoping that you'd go away.
00:30:50Have you been taking your arthritis medication?
00:30:52I don't need to.
00:30:53Sometimes the pain goes away by itself.
00:30:56Uh-huh.
00:30:57Is that why you didn't open the door?
00:30:58Because of your hands?
00:31:02Mrs. McCluskey, do you have anyone that could help you out?
00:31:05A relative?
00:31:07A friend?
00:31:08I'm fine.
00:31:12Okay.
00:31:16Okay.
00:31:18Uh, before you go, open these, would you?
00:31:22And put out the pills.
00:31:26Yeah.
00:31:27And don't get your hands all over them.
00:31:29God knows what your kids have picked up.
00:31:31Last thing I need, it's a case of pink eye.
00:31:34You're a piece of work, you know that?
00:31:36Well, this is crazy.
00:31:38Why'd they give you childproof caps?
00:31:39Yeah.
00:31:40First thing tomorrow, I'm taking you to the pharmacy and we'll get you new bottles.
00:31:43Don't do me any favors.
00:31:44You don't even like me.
00:31:45I don't want you doing anything because you feel obligated.
00:31:48Let me tell you something.
00:31:49Half of life is obligations.
00:31:51You don't want to go to your husband's company Christmas party, but you do.
00:31:54You don't want to sell candy so your kid's band can buy piccolos, but you do it.
00:31:58You attend your third cousin's wedding.
00:32:00You pick up the dry cleaning.
00:32:01That's life.
00:32:02It's obligations.
00:32:04And you are now my obligation.
00:32:06So tomorrow morning, I'll pick you up and we'll go to the pharmacy.
00:32:09Gee, I'm touched by your outpouring of compassion.
00:32:12We don't have to be friends.
00:32:14But we're two human beings living on the same piece of earth.
00:32:18We can at least try and help each other out once in a while.
00:32:20And you know what?
00:32:30I am going to take this.
00:32:33Fine.
00:32:34I'll see you tomorrow morning.
00:32:36Pick me up at nine.
00:32:38And don't be late.
00:32:47Andrew, come here.
00:32:48I want you to see this.
00:32:50Um, what are you looking at?
00:32:54I'm looking at your baby pictures.
00:32:57Look at that one.
00:33:00How old was I there?
00:33:02Just four weeks old.
00:33:12I never told you this, but when I gave birth to you, there were complications.
00:33:16The umbilical cord wrapped around your neck and you stopped breathing.
00:33:22The room got very quiet.
00:33:24And I knew you were in trouble.
00:33:27So I turned to the doctor and I very calmly said that he was not to worry about me.
00:33:31That his job was to save your life.
00:33:34When I say I would die for you,
00:33:37that's not an expression.
00:33:39I mean it.
00:33:43Yeah.
00:33:44Well, um,
00:33:45I'm going to go eat my sandwich.
00:33:49Andrew,
00:33:50please,
00:33:50just go and talk to Reverend Sykes.
00:33:53Oh, for God's sakes.
00:33:53He can counsel you.
00:33:54It can help.
00:33:55Mom,
00:33:55I don't need any help.
00:33:57All right?
00:33:58I'm fine.
00:33:59Oh.
00:33:59Why do you keep going on about this?
00:34:01Because if you don't change who you are,
00:34:03then you won't go to heaven.
00:34:10You, um,
00:34:12you don't think I'll go to heaven?
00:34:16No, I don't.
00:34:18And I need you there.
00:34:20I would be so lonely without you.
00:34:22I would be so lonely without you.
00:34:24I guess I better go talk to Reverend Sykes.
00:34:33Oh, Andrew.
00:34:35Thank you so much.
00:34:36You don't know how much that means to me.
00:34:44Oh, my gosh.
00:34:46Are you okay?
00:34:47Oh, yeah.
00:34:48I just fell down the stairs.
00:34:49I'm fine.
00:34:50What's up?
00:34:51Susan still loves you.
00:34:53Wow.
00:34:56Um,
00:34:57okay.
00:34:59Look,
00:34:59this is just not a good time for this conversation.
00:35:01She just misses you so much.
00:35:03Sophie,
00:35:04I just found out that someone I was very close to is dead.
00:35:07I've really got to figure out what I'm going to do,
00:35:09so I just don't have time to think about Susan right now.
00:35:12She's just very,
00:35:13very unhappy,
00:35:14and if you could just...
00:35:15I really don't.
00:35:17Sorry.
00:35:18Sorry.
00:35:23I swear before almighty God,
00:35:25I swear before almighty God,
00:35:40I won't reveal a word that's said here today.
00:35:43I swear before almighty God,
00:35:52I won't reveal a word that's said here today.
00:35:56Now,
00:35:57what's on your mind?
00:36:01Well,
00:36:02here's the thing.
00:36:03I lied to my parents.
00:36:05I'm not gay.
00:36:06You're not?
00:36:08Not really.
00:36:10Look,
00:36:11all I know is I want to get the hell out of that camp.
00:36:14So,
00:36:15I lied to my parents,
00:36:16and I told them that I was really worried,
00:36:18that I was having feelings for other guys,
00:36:20and
00:36:20they did exactly what I wanted them to.
00:36:23They are such tools.
00:36:25I'm sorry,
00:36:25just so I'm clear.
00:36:27Are you a heterosexual,
00:36:28or aren't you?
00:36:30Look,
00:36:30I love vanilla ice cream.
00:36:34Okay?
00:36:34But every now and then,
00:36:37I'm probably going to be in the mood for chocolate.
00:36:39You know what I'm saying?
00:36:43I do,
00:36:44but God would prefer you
00:36:46stick to the vanilla.
00:36:48I don't believe in God.
00:36:50You don't?
00:36:51No.
00:36:53Sorry.
00:36:55You know,
00:36:56your mother's going to be devastated.
00:36:57She's been praying so hard for you to change.
00:37:00Well,
00:37:00that's the good news.
00:37:02I am going to change.
00:37:03Big time.
00:37:04I'm not sure I follow.
00:37:09You know what my mom
00:37:10said to me last night?
00:37:13She said she doesn't think I'm going to heaven.
00:37:16Can you believe that?
00:37:19I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings,
00:37:22but the only way you can know paradise
00:37:24is by repenting your sins.
00:37:25When she said that to me,
00:37:31it suddenly hit me how I was going to get back at her.
00:37:35From now on,
00:37:36I'm going to be so good.
00:37:38I'm going to eat my vegetables.
00:37:41I'm going to get good grades.
00:37:42I'm going to say yes ma'am and no ma'am.
00:37:44I'm going to make her believe
00:37:46that God has delivered her
00:37:47this little miracle
00:37:49until one day
00:37:52when she least expects it.
00:37:54I'm going to do something so awful
00:37:57I'm just going to rock her world.
00:38:01I mean,
00:38:01it is really going to destroy her.
00:38:03But when that day comes,
00:38:08trust me,
00:38:10I'll know paradise.
00:38:24Yes,
00:38:25life is a journey.
00:38:28One that is much better traveled
00:38:29with a companion by our side.
00:38:31Of course,
00:38:33that companion can be just about anyone.
00:38:36Miss McCluskey!
00:38:39We're going to be late for the doctor!
00:38:41A neighbor on the other side of the street.
00:38:43I'm coming,
00:38:44jeez.
00:38:44Hold your water.
00:38:48There you go.
00:38:50No more posts, no.
00:38:51Or the man on the other side of the bed.
00:38:53The companion can be a mother
00:39:01with good intentions.
00:39:03Thank you for a wonderful service, Reverend.
00:39:06That's great.
00:39:07Or a child who's up to no good.
00:39:10Very inspirational.
00:39:11Still,
00:39:17despite our best intentions,
00:39:20some of us will lose our companions along the way.
00:39:24And then the journey becomes unbearable.
00:39:27You see,
00:39:32human beings are designed for many things.
00:39:38But loneliness
00:39:39isn't one of them.
00:39:41Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:39:48I want a child.
00:39:49We made a deal.
00:39:50No kids.
00:39:51Tampering with prescriptions.
00:39:53I'm filing those, daughter.
00:39:54Uncovering evidence.
00:39:55What are we looking for exactly?
00:39:58What was that?
00:39:59Oh, oh, oh!
00:39:59Breaking and entering.
00:40:01It's a lady.
00:40:02Very beautiful,
00:40:03classy lady.
00:40:05Remember,
00:40:05they tend to end up with doctors,
00:40:06not pharmacists.
00:40:07And a whole lot
00:40:09of revenge.
00:40:11Since she was a little girl,
00:40:19Susan Meyer wanted to be a mother
00:40:21in the worst way.
00:40:24Oh, I'm going to do it.
00:40:25You're so cute.
00:40:26Yeah.
00:40:26And from the first day
00:40:28she brought Julie home from the hospital...
00:40:31Oh!
00:40:32Oh, how did she get out of here?
00:40:34Oh, that's not good.
00:40:38Oh, my gosh.
00:40:39Despite her desire
00:40:41to do well by her daughter,
00:40:43Susan suffered
00:40:45through countless failures.
00:40:46I'm sorry.
00:40:48How did I get out of here?
00:40:49I'm sorry.
00:40:49How did I get out of here?
00:40:49Of course,
00:40:50it took Susan a few years
00:40:52to realize
00:40:53even the best of parents.
00:40:56Make mistakes now and then.
00:40:57But now that Julie
00:41:05was a teenage girl,
00:41:07Susan had started
00:41:08to realize
00:41:09there was no room
00:41:12for error.
00:41:15Julie,
00:41:16what is Zach doing out there?
00:41:17I thought I told you
00:41:17not to speak to him anymore.
00:41:18I'm not.
00:41:19That's why you're throwing
00:41:20gravel at my window.
00:41:21All right, that's it.
00:41:22I'm going to handle this
00:41:23once and for all.
00:41:23Zach, what do you think
00:41:30you're...
00:41:30Ow!
00:41:30Ow!
00:41:31Ah!
00:41:32Ow!
00:41:33Ow!
00:41:34Ow!
00:41:39Miss Meyer,
00:41:40I am so sorry.
00:41:41It's just,
00:41:42you know,
00:41:42one pebble wasn't working
00:41:43so I tried a whole handful.
00:41:44Ow!
00:41:45Look, I'll make it up to you.
00:41:46Oh, how?
00:41:47Are you going to give me
00:41:47your corneas?
00:41:48Mom, lay back.
00:41:49I just wanted to talk to Julie.
00:41:50She hasn't been
00:41:51returning my phone calls.
00:41:53Well, I'm here now.
00:41:55What do you want?
00:41:56Come on, Julie.
00:41:57I just want to see you again.
00:41:59You know,
00:42:00talk, hang out.
00:42:01Maybe it would be better
00:42:02if we just cooled it
00:42:03for a while, okay?
00:42:05Why?
00:42:05Well, you just threw rocks
00:42:06in her mother's face.
00:42:07How's that for a start?
00:42:18Thank you so much.
00:42:19I have been trying to find a way
00:42:20to break up with him for weeks.
00:42:21You finally gave me an excuse.
00:42:23Yes, Susan had failed
00:42:24many times as a mother.
00:42:26You did good, Mom.
00:42:27So she took her victories
00:42:28where she found them.
00:42:29You're welcome.
00:42:30I have been trying to find a way
00:42:35to be with you.
00:43:09Spring comes every year to Assyria Lane.
00:43:15It's the time when flowers start to bloom,
00:43:18when butterflies emerge from their cocoons,
00:43:22when bees begin to search for nectar.
00:43:26Spring is also the time when a young man's fancy turns to obsession.
00:43:31You must buy that.
00:43:39Hello there.
00:43:41Oh, my heavenly days. Rex, look, it's George.
00:43:45It's nice to see you, Bree.
00:43:47Dr. Vandekat?
00:43:49George.
00:43:50So, how's your health?
00:43:52Not good. And my cardiologist is an idiot.
00:43:54The doctor upped his dosage twice, and it's still not helping.
00:43:57I'm sure it'll all work itself out.
00:43:59You know, it's funny running into you both.
00:44:01I happen to have extra tickets to a bonsai exposition in Mount Pleasant Friday night.
00:44:05Would you like to go?
00:44:06I would love to. Rex?
00:44:08The whole evening of bonsai trees? Wouldn't it just be easier to shoot me?
00:44:11Probably.
00:44:21Well, why don't we just go by ourselves, then?
00:44:23Uh, actually, Bree, we have that thing Friday night.
00:44:27What thing? We don't have a thing.
00:44:28I think what your husband is trying to say is that he doesn't want you going out with me.
00:44:33Rex, are you still jealous?
00:44:36No.
00:44:37It's true that we dated during the separation, but George and I are just friends now, aren't we?
00:44:40Strictly platonic. But if you feel threatened...
00:44:43I don't feel threatened.
00:44:48Good. Then it's a date.
00:44:49So, are you going to make a purchase today?
00:44:53Do you know, I have finally convinced Rex to buy his first orchid.
00:44:57Make sure you study up.
00:44:58I hate people who own precious flowers and don't know how to take proper care of them.
00:45:02You know what I hate? Weeds.
00:45:03They just pop up out of nowhere, and you have to work so hard to get rid of them.
00:45:07I find with the right chemicals, you can get rid of almost anything.
00:45:10See you Friday.
00:45:17Mrs. Solis.
00:45:18What a surprise. We haven't seen you in here in quite some time.
00:45:22Yes, yes, I know. My husband and I went through a downsizing phase, but we've snapped out of it.
00:45:26Life is good.
00:45:28Oh, and this would make it so much better.
00:45:30Excellent.
00:45:32Slip inside. See how that feels.
00:45:35Oh.
00:45:37I'd love to have this in my driveway by Saturday.
00:45:40I'm having a big barbecue.
00:45:41I want everyone to see it.
00:45:43Oh, exciting. What's the occasion?
00:45:45I'm throwing my husband a going away party.
00:45:46Really? Where's it going?
00:45:48It's, um, it's a sort of government-sponsored sabbatical.
00:45:52How long is he going to be gone?
00:45:54Eight months.
00:45:56Six with good behavior.
00:45:59Isn't the leather interior wonderful?
00:46:01It is.
00:46:02It is. It's just the smell's a little intense.
00:46:05That's because it was imported from Italy.
00:46:06It's 100% Italian calf.
00:46:16I'm so sorry.
00:46:18It just hit me out of nowhere.
00:46:20You know, it's so weird.
00:46:21Smells have been making me nauseous lately.
00:46:24Boobs tender?
00:46:25Icky back?
00:46:27Yeah.
00:46:28Has it been going around?
00:46:29Only for centuries.
00:46:31I went through it all when I was carrying my oldest.
00:46:33The truth is, you're never going to fit a child's safety seat in the back of that tiny spider anyway.
00:46:38The four doors are much roomier.
00:46:40Wait, uh, I'm sorry.
00:46:42You think I'm pregnant?
00:46:44No, I'm not pregnant.
00:46:46Oh.
00:46:47You just have all the symptoms.
00:46:48I just assumed.
00:46:49Well, you assumed wrong.
00:46:50Well, I'm sorry.
00:46:51I'm on the pill, for God's sakes.
00:46:53Okay.
00:46:54You know, and another thing.
00:46:54I don't want a four-door.
00:46:55I want a sexy little convertible.
00:46:57And I want to buy one.
00:46:58Right now.
00:46:59I'll go start the paperwork.
00:47:00Well, not this one.
00:47:01I vomited in this room.
00:47:03Right.
00:47:04We'll find you a fresh one.
00:47:16Lynette.
00:47:18You forgot your Halpern file.
00:47:19Oh, my God.
00:47:21Lynette.
00:47:21If there was one person Lynette never expected to see again, it was Annabelle Foster.
00:47:29Eight years earlier, Annabelle had begged Tom to marry her, but he told her he wasn't the marrying kind.
00:47:37Then one day, Tom happened to meet a rising young executive by the name of Lynette Lindquist.
00:47:43And after a few torrid weeks, Tom decided perhaps he was the marrying kind after all, causing an embittered Annabelle to move back to Chicago permanently, or so Lynette had hoped.
00:48:03You look fantastic.
00:48:07And you, you're near in the office.
00:48:12Tom's office.
00:48:13Yeah, going on three months now.
00:48:16Oh.
00:48:17Didn't Tom tell you?
00:48:19It, uh, must have slipped his mind.
00:48:22Ah, afraid to tell the wife you're working with the old girlfriend, huh?
00:48:29I guess that makes me your dirty little secret.
00:48:35Well, I'll let you get back to work.
00:48:39See you later.
00:48:41Can't wait.
00:48:42Oh!
00:48:42I almost forgot.
00:48:44Your file.
00:48:45Here.
00:48:45Hey, Paul.
00:48:53What's up?
00:48:55Something's been nagging me, Katie.
00:48:56I wanted to talk to you about it.
00:48:58Okay.
00:48:58That night, I found you in my house.
00:49:00Why were you really there?
00:49:02You know why.
00:49:03You came by to drop off your key.
00:49:05Some things were moved around my living room.
00:49:07What were you looking for?
00:49:09What are you talking about?
00:49:11Do I have to call the police?
00:49:13Do whatever you want.
00:49:15Suit yourself.
00:49:20Okay.
00:49:21Okay.
00:49:22Susan made me do it.
00:49:24She has this fixation on why Mary Alice killed herself,
00:49:26and she keeps blathering on about blackmail notes and dead babies.
00:49:30Oh, and she got really hot and bothered when she found the name Angela,
00:49:33written on one of your videotapes.
00:49:36Did she find what she was looking for?
00:49:38No.
00:49:39You came home before she had a chance to watch the video.
00:49:42I see.
00:49:45She sort of thinks you're evil.
00:49:50Thank you, Edie.
00:49:58What was that all about?
00:50:00Susan Meyer's obsession with Mary Alice almost got me arrested.
00:50:03And now Paul's after her.
00:50:06If I liked her better, I'd warn her, but, you know.
00:50:12Thanks.
00:50:12Susan?
00:50:28I'll talk to you girls later.
00:50:32Still avoiding me, huh?
00:50:33No, no.
00:50:35What do you want?
00:50:39I heard that you and Edie broke into Paul Young's house.
00:50:42I told you that.
00:50:43Edie.
00:50:46Well, yeah, we did.
00:50:48Um, we were just looking.
00:50:52It doesn't matter.
00:50:53It was dumb.
00:50:53Listen, I want you to stay away from that guy.
00:50:55Well, he's planning on doing that anyway.
00:50:59Good.
00:51:01Mike, I know why I was planning on staying away from him.
00:51:04Why do you want me to stay away from him?
00:51:06I just know he's a bad guy.
00:51:09So please don't mess with him.
00:51:11I won't.
00:51:14I promise.
00:51:15I promise.
00:51:15So, I've been thinking about the pharmacist.
00:51:31George.
00:51:32What about him?
00:51:33I don't think you should go out with him.
00:51:35Please don't be this way.
00:51:36He's the only friend I have who's interested in cultural things.
00:51:40Bree.
00:51:41I'm worried because he's obviously still in love with you.
00:51:44No, he just wants to be friends.
00:51:46He told me so.
00:51:47Well, what else would a man in love say?
00:51:50He's desperate to spend time with you.
00:51:52He does not seem desperate to me.
00:51:55I saw the way his hands trembled when you touched his shoulder.
00:51:58They did?
00:52:01When we first started dating, the same thing happened to me.
00:52:04I don't remember that.
00:52:07Listen, continuing to see him would just be giving him false hope.
00:52:10Well, I certainly don't want to hurt him.
00:52:13Again.
00:52:13No, you don't.
00:52:16I even think it would be a good idea to switch pharmacies.
00:52:19Really?
00:52:24Okay.
00:52:26You know what I'm going to miss most about him?
00:52:29George always has a way of making me feel good about myself.
00:52:32Yeah, he's a terrific guy.
00:52:36Honey, do your hands still tremble when they touch me?
00:52:39No.
00:52:39No.
00:52:42But come on, we've been married 18 years.
00:52:45Yes, we have.
00:52:47And you still don't know when I need you to lie.
00:52:49Excuse me.
00:52:58Um, this home pregnancy test, is it a good one?
00:53:01I guess.
00:53:02Okay, um, do you have a restroom?
00:53:06It's for employees only.
00:53:08Oh, it's right over there, Mrs. Solvay.
00:53:10Help yourself.
00:53:15What did I tell you about being rude to customers?
00:53:18You'll stick a smile on your face or I'll keep you in back stocking shelves where no one has to look at you.
00:53:21Brie, what a pleasant surprise.
00:53:27What brings you here?
00:53:28Didn't we just fill Dr. Vandekamp's prescription last week?
00:53:31George, as it turns out, I won't be able to go with you to the Bonsai Expo.
00:53:34Oh, why not?
00:53:35I think it'd be a mistake for us to spend too much time together.
00:53:39Dr. Vandekamp said something about me.
00:53:41What was it?
00:53:42It doesn't matter.
00:53:44Please, tell me.
00:53:45He said you're still in love with me.
00:53:49That's, that's stupid.
00:53:52I'm not in love with you.
00:53:54I'm not.
00:53:56The truth is, I'm in love with Ginger.
00:54:00Ginger?
00:54:01The stock girl?
00:54:01Yes.
00:54:02It's very serious.
00:54:09Oh, why didn't you tell me?
00:54:11Well, we're taking it slow, but she is definitely the one.
00:54:14Oh my goodness, well, this changes everything.
00:54:17Listen, um, a friend of mine is having a barbecue for her husband on Saturday, and I think you
00:54:20should come.
00:54:21Really?
00:54:21Yes, and bring Ginger.
00:54:23Ginger?
00:54:24I, I don't know if she can make it.
00:54:26Well, you have to bring Ginger, because if Rex sees the two of you together, then he'll
00:54:30relax.
00:54:31Oh.
00:54:32Uh, okay.
00:54:34What a bitch!
00:54:40You are out of toilet paper.
00:54:43Brie, I'll call you later.
00:54:44Brie.
00:54:50Lamette?
00:54:53Hey, honey?
00:54:55Are you home?
00:54:56Three months.
00:54:59God, you, you scared the hell out of me.
00:55:02Were you ever gonna tell me?
00:55:04I wanted to, but I kept putting it off.
00:55:07I knew how you'd react.
00:55:08congratulations you read me like a book why would you hire that woman look technically
00:55:16peterson found her i just vowed for her tom come on honey i'm just helping her out it's the least
00:55:21i can do look she was devastated when i left her for you i felt bad do you still have feelings for
00:55:28her all right i'm not talking to you come on you can tell me you still care about her don't you
00:55:34just a teeny tiny little bit i was just trying to be a good guy that's all well you can't work with
00:55:40her what do you want me to do quit talk to peterson maybe you can get her transferred i mean weren't
00:55:44you guys planning on starting something up in belize honey you're crazy no i'm serious if she
00:55:51stays i will haunt your office i'll bring you lunch every day i'll bring the kids to visit i will change
00:55:58diapers on your desk every birthday cake in the break room every retirement party you will be there
00:56:03watching her well i better get your parking space because she's staying
00:56:09did you think it spices up the room
00:56:23oh i was just leaving you a gift to apologize for you know throwing gravel in your face
00:56:38well you didn't have to do that no i kind of did see i want us to be friends yeah well
00:56:43that's not gonna happen why not aside from you blinding me you know several weeks ago you freaked
00:56:53out in my house you screamed you threw furniture around okay well i realized that i was out of line
00:57:01that night but i was upset and we have to get over that for julie's sake for julie's sake how do you
00:57:08think it makes her feel that her mother and her boyfriend can't even get alone hey zach julie does
00:57:12not think of you as her boyfriend in fact i don't think she wants anything to do with you she said that
00:57:21yeah i don't believe you believe whatever you want well if she did it's because you tell her stuff about
00:57:27me that's not true zach come here right now please don't ruin this for me
00:57:57how do you know mary alice who mary alice young she lives next door to me in fairview
00:58:09she's standing right here in this picture with you that's angela forest we worked together at the
00:58:14rehab center 15 years ago don't be dense felicia don't you think i know my own neighbor
00:58:21does this mary alice have children a teenager a boy
00:58:27what
00:58:33angela and i worked together with a very disturbed young woman who gave birth to a baby boy
00:58:39about a year later angela and her husband disappeared not long after that i heard that the child
00:58:47was missing too people said it was just a coincidence but in my heart i always hoped that she had given him
00:58:54a proper home are you saying she stole the baby don't look shocked martha makes your face look fat
00:59:06the biological mother was a drug addict if angela really is your neighbor which i doubt
00:59:13then that child was very lucky
00:59:28okay
00:59:32is
00:59:38oh if you're looking for tom is that with a client
00:59:41No, I actually wanted to see you.
00:59:43You know, that's really funny.
00:59:44I was thinking the same thing.
00:59:46I've been here all this time.
00:59:47We should go out for lunch, just the two of us.
00:59:50Yeah, I'll check my book.
00:59:53So, Annabelle, do you have feelings for Tom?
00:59:58What?
00:59:59You heard me.
01:00:01Okay, you want to talk about this, Lynette?
01:00:03Let's talk.
01:00:04Yes, Tom and I were in love, but he married you.
01:00:08I'm not looking to break up a happy couple.
01:00:11Anyway, that's really more your speed, isn't it?
01:00:16Morning, ladies.
01:00:17Just going in for a little more fuel.
01:00:19Yep, one man's sludge is another man's liquid gold.
01:00:23Well, back to the trenches.
01:00:28Watch your step.
01:00:29Tom and I are a team.
01:00:31Our marriage is rock solid.
01:00:32Nothing you do could ever break that up.
01:00:35Then why are you down here right now, warning me?
01:00:41Thank you very much.
01:00:50Gabrielle, what brings you down here?
01:00:55Oh, sweet mother of God, what have you done this time?
01:00:59You're pregnant?
01:01:00Yes.
01:01:01And it's impossible.
01:01:02I'm on the pill.
01:01:03Which I know you probably think is a sin, but it works.
01:01:05It's a 99.9% effective sin.
01:01:08Well, maybe it's in that one-tenth of a percent that God resides.
01:01:11Couldn't wait to throw that in, could you?
01:01:13Look, God is screwing with me.
01:01:15He doesn't like the way I live my life, so he's punishing me.
01:01:18Well, have you done something that would warrant being punished?
01:01:20The gardener?
01:01:25I thought that was over.
01:01:26No, it was, and then, and...
01:01:29Well, you just had to be there.
01:01:30Look, that's my point, is I'd be an awful mother.
01:01:33I'm selfish and I'm self-centered,
01:01:34and the only person more self-centered than me is Carlos.
01:01:37I mean, he's so self-centered that he doesn't even know how self-centered I am.
01:01:40We'd be terrible parents.
01:01:41Gabrielle, I'd like to help, but I'm not exactly sure what it is you want.
01:01:45No, it's just, I want to know who to be angry at.
01:01:48Here's a thought.
01:01:49Don't be angry.
01:01:51Be thankful.
01:01:52Children are a gift, are they not?
01:01:56I don't have time for this crap.
01:01:58I have a party to plan.
01:02:02Thanks.
01:02:03Edie.
01:02:03Hey.
01:02:04Hi.
01:02:04Wow, things are really coming along.
01:02:06Yeah, slowly and expensively.
01:02:09Well, it'll be worth it.
01:02:09You're doing an amazing job.
01:02:11So, look, you're basically a predator, and I need some advice.
01:02:20And I know Tom loves me, but I don't trust this woman.
01:02:23I think there's an agenda there.
01:02:26I don't know.
01:02:27Maybe I'm being paranoid.
01:02:28No, no.
01:02:29You did the right thing coming to me.
01:02:31There are two ways to approach this.
01:02:34Well, first, I have to ask, what kind of shape is this woman in?
01:02:37Fantastic shape.
01:02:38She's gorgeous.
01:02:39Okay.
01:02:40Now there's really only one way to approach this.
01:02:42You're going to have to act fast.
01:02:44I'm listening.
01:02:45Well, it's really pretty simple.
01:02:46When I feel threatened by a woman, I pull her in.
01:02:49I make her my best friend.
01:02:51I thought you said you didn't have any female friends.
01:02:53I don't.
01:02:55And I've never felt threatened by another woman either.
01:02:57But the point is, keep your friends close.
01:03:01Keep your enemies closer.
01:03:02I don't know.
01:03:03I don't know.
01:03:03I don't know.
01:03:03I don't know.
01:03:03I don't know.
01:03:03I don't know.
01:03:04I don't know.
01:03:05I don't know.
01:03:06I don't know.
01:03:07I don't know.
01:03:08I don't know.
01:03:08Tom, we're having a dinner party.
01:03:11I'm thinking of inviting Annabelle.
01:03:17We're not moving.
01:03:18Susan knows something.
01:03:19Edie said she...
01:03:20I don't care what Edie Britt said.
01:03:22I'm not leaving Julie.
01:03:23You want to risk our lives, our future over some schoolyard crush?
01:03:27It is more than that.
01:03:27Julie loves me.
01:03:28Then why does she refuse to see you?
01:03:32Mrs. Meyer lies to her.
01:03:34If it wasn't for that, she would be with me.
01:03:35Are you sure?
01:03:37You know, Julie's a very special girl.
01:03:39I know.
01:03:40She could have just about any boy she wanted.
01:03:44I think you're a wonderful kid.
01:03:46I do, but...
01:03:48You're not that special, Zach.
01:03:50Not really.
01:03:54She kissed me.
01:03:57Lately?
01:04:00Let's just pack our bags and get out of here.
01:04:02We can leave this whole mess behind.
01:04:03We can start over.
01:04:04And there will be other girls.
01:04:05I promise.
01:04:07No.
01:04:08If Susan goes to the police, it's over.
01:04:11They'll take me away.
01:04:12They'll take you away.
01:04:12Don't you get that?
01:04:13If Julie doesn't love me anymore, then it doesn't matter.
01:04:16None of it matters.
01:04:26Oh, Magruder had absolutely no idea what was going on.
01:04:30During the entire shoot for the Pacer campaign,
01:04:31he was practically holding Benson's hand.
01:04:33After the way that Burnham screwed him over,
01:04:35I'd be nervous, too.
01:04:37I know.
01:04:37It was awful.
01:04:42Excuse me.
01:04:43I need to get in here so I can clear the plates.
01:04:44Hey, do you want some help with that?
01:04:45Oh, I'm good.
01:04:46Oh.
01:04:48Looks like we got company.
01:04:49Hey, guys.
01:04:50Isn't it time for bed?
01:04:51Oh, they never get to see you.
01:04:52Let them stay up for a while.
01:04:54Okay, come here.
01:04:55Come here.
01:04:56I want you to meet someone.
01:04:59This is Miss Foster.
01:05:01Hi.
01:05:01She's an old, old friend of your daddy's.
01:05:06Hey, what you got there?
01:05:07It's a picture we painted.
01:05:09Oh, let me have a look at that.
01:05:11It's all of us with Mommy and Daddy.
01:05:13We're really happy.
01:05:14Oh, that is so adorable.
01:05:16When did you do this?
01:05:17Today, Mom told us to.
01:05:19Ah!
01:05:20I just told them to paint something nice.
01:05:22The sentiment's all theirs.
01:05:23But you told us to.
01:05:24Hold on, honey.
01:05:25Grown-ups are talking.
01:05:26Well, this is really neat.
01:05:29Hey, how would you boys like to paint my portrait one day?
01:05:32Sure, you're pretty.
01:05:33Okay, great.
01:05:35So, like your dad said, it's time for bed.
01:05:37I'll take him back upstairs.
01:05:39Come on, guys.
01:05:42Hold on.
01:05:48I must say, Lynette, your home is warm and inviting.
01:05:51Your children are absolutely precious.
01:05:54This whole evening was practically a commercial for the perfect family.
01:05:57You think?
01:05:58You couldn't have planned it any better.
01:06:02And I mean that.
01:06:04Good.
01:06:11Hello, Susan.
01:06:14Paul.
01:06:16Hi.
01:06:16I understand you and Edie went snooping through my house.
01:06:21Huh?
01:06:22It's okay.
01:06:22I'm not mad.
01:06:23So, what do you want to know about Angela?
01:06:30It was Mary Alice's birth name.
01:06:32She was named after her aunt Angela.
01:06:34When she was a teenager, they had a falling out, so she changed her name to Mary Alice.
01:06:38This was before we were married, so you'll forgive me if I'm hazy on the details.
01:06:43That's it?
01:06:44That's the explanation?
01:06:46Ridiculously simple, isn't it?
01:06:49She changed her name because she got in a fight with her aunt?
01:06:54Paul, it just doesn't seem like something Mary Alice would do.
01:06:57Neither did suicide, but we both know that she did it.
01:07:01So, can we finally put this behind us?
01:07:05Or do you need to break into my home for anything else?
01:07:08Uh.
01:07:11No.
01:07:14I'm good.
01:07:15Thanks.
01:07:15Although, if you wouldn't mind, I'd really like to see that videotape I found.
01:07:23The one marked Angela.
01:07:26Be nice to see Mary Alice when she was young.
01:07:29I'm afraid that box of tapes was thrown out with the trash.
01:07:35Okay, then.
01:07:37Susan.
01:07:38I'm serious when I say I hope you'll leave my family alone now.
01:07:42This endless suspicion of yours has become very tiring.
01:07:47I couldn't agree more.
01:07:48Oh, that's my cell.
01:08:03Sorry.
01:08:04Okay.
01:08:09Oh, God.
01:08:10It's Peterson.
01:08:11Excuse me.
01:08:12Peterson?
01:08:12Hello?
01:08:14Yeah.
01:08:18So, this is quite a show you put on tonight.
01:08:21Show?
01:08:23The boys' paintings, all those references to how happy we are.
01:08:27What's wrong with subtly reminding Annabelle that you're happily married?
01:08:29Because it wasn't subtle.
01:08:32And it's an insult to me.
01:08:35I did not mean it that way.
01:08:40Are you so insecure that you have to pull that crap?
01:08:43Keep your voice down.
01:08:46It doesn't matter if she has feelings for me, as long as I am not interested.
01:08:49Have I ever, ever given you any reason to doubt me?
01:08:52Anyone is capable of anything.
01:08:54The first time we ever met, you were cheating.
01:08:57With you.
01:08:57Cheating with you.
01:08:59It's a pattern of behavior.
01:09:00Oh, give me a break.
01:09:02Well, what am I supposed to do?
01:09:04You hire your old girlfriend, and you don't tell me about it for three months?
01:09:07I could have told you from day one, and you would still be jumping down my throat.
01:09:10No, Annabelle is ancient history.
01:09:12She's in the next room.
01:09:13How long do we have to be married, Lynette?
01:09:14How long until you actually trust me?
01:09:17I trust you.
01:09:18How many times have you said to me, if you ever touch another woman, I will take the boys
01:09:21on, I will walk out of here, and you will never see us again?
01:09:24Well, that's just something wives say to their husbands.
01:09:27Not all wives.
01:09:29God, Lynette, you're just so convinced that I'm going to be unfaithful.
01:09:32It makes me sick.
01:09:34The distrust, the paranoia.
01:09:35You know, no.
01:09:36It seems like you're not going to be happy until you drive me out of this marriage just
01:09:39to prove yourself right.
01:09:43Okay, wait.
01:09:44Forget I said that.
01:09:46It's too late.
01:09:48You said it.
01:09:48Well, then just consider it something that husbands say to their wives.
01:09:56Well, Peterson's on cloud nine.
01:09:58He discovered some inside scoop on the Metro account.
01:10:01The bad news is we're going to have to redo the entire presentation.
01:10:04Tonight?
01:10:05They need it first thing in the morning.
01:10:07Peterson says we might be pulling an all-nighter.
01:10:08Well, I can't drive.
01:10:10I've been drinking.
01:10:11I'll drive.
01:10:12Come on.
01:10:14Thanks.
01:10:14Don't worry, Lynette.
01:10:16I'll deliver them back to you as soon as I can.
01:10:19Please do.
01:10:35Honey, take over for a minute.
01:10:36I'm giving a speech.
01:10:37Just make sure they stay pink like that, okay?
01:10:41Are you okay?
01:10:43Oh.
01:10:44Yeah, I just, um, do you realize how disgusting me could be?
01:10:51Everyone, I just wanted to say it really means a lot to me that all of you came.
01:10:55And as you know, in a few days, I will be taking a little government-sponsored vacation.
01:10:59Lucky for me, breakfast is included.
01:11:04Oh, God.
01:11:05The bottom line is, I'm going away to jail.
01:11:09And when a man goes away to jail, which I hope none of you here ever have to do, he sees who his real friends are.
01:11:16So thanks.
01:11:16Excuse you.
01:11:32Stay put until I need you.
01:11:33Don't talk to anybody.
01:11:34And for God's sake, don't get drunk.
01:11:37You know, I was supposed to go to my cousin's wedding today.
01:11:39It's not a wedding, it's a commitment ceremony.
01:11:40You sit down and try to fit in.
01:11:50Ugh.
01:11:51Got you a hot dog.
01:12:05No thanks, I'm full.
01:12:07Have a croquet set?
01:12:08Want to go hit some balls?
01:12:10No.
01:12:11Oh, that's fine.
01:12:12We could just sit here.
01:12:13Zach!
01:12:13I don't want to be your girlfriend.
01:12:16I don't want to hang out with you.
01:12:17I just want you to leave me alone, okay?
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22Okay.
01:12:22I don't want to hang out with you.
01:12:29Let's go do it.
01:12:48Bye.
01:12:49Bye.
01:12:49Bye.
01:12:49Bye.
01:12:50Bye.
01:12:50Bye.
01:12:51Bye.
01:12:52In that moment, while looking at the pills that had been so obviously tampered with,
01:13:06Gabrielle's nausea was suddenly replaced by an even stronger sensation.
01:13:12Rage.
01:13:22What are you doing?
01:13:31I'm so sorry. That was an accident.
01:13:33Answer my question. What are you doing here?
01:13:36I was invited.
01:13:37By who?
01:13:38You know what, Dr. Van de Kamp? I don't believe I have to answer to you.
01:13:41See, I think you do.
01:13:42What is going on here?
01:13:43He crashed the party. This guy clearly is not taking no for an answer.
01:13:47It's okay. George has a girlfriend. You brought her, didn't you?
01:13:50He doesn't have a girlfriend.
01:13:52I do, sir. She's right over there.
01:13:58That's his girlfriend?
01:14:00See? You were worried for nothing.
01:14:03So, any time you want to apologize.
01:14:07Oh, come on, Rex. You owe George some sort of gesture.
01:14:16Oh, what the hell?
01:14:20Rex, have you lost your mind?
01:14:29To be fair, I only pushed him.
01:14:33Carl, son of a bitch.
01:14:35I am pregnant and it's all your fault.
01:14:45Wow.
01:14:46This is turning into one hell of a party.
01:14:47Are you okay?
01:14:57I think I can honestly say, no, I'm not.
01:15:00I'm so sorry.
01:15:02Thanks.
01:15:04But you know what they say about kids?
01:15:07That you can't imagine having them until you do,
01:15:10and then you can't imagine life without them?
01:15:13It's true.
01:15:14All I'm saying is maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
01:15:22I don't know who the father is.
01:15:25What?
01:15:26Yeah.
01:15:28So you mean you and John have still been...
01:15:30Yeah.
01:15:31Gabby?
01:15:31Wait, no, Susan. I don't know what I'm going to do.
01:15:33Oh, my God.
01:15:37Oh, my God.
01:15:37That's my house.
01:15:38Oh, my God.
01:15:39One.
01:15:39Yes, that's my house.
01:15:41Oh.
01:15:42Oh.
01:15:43Oh, my God.
01:15:45Oh, my God.
01:15:46Look, my kitchen.
01:15:47Oh, it's a big fire.
01:15:51Turns out someone left the gas on with candles burning.
01:15:55That's not possible.
01:15:56We don't burn candles during the day.
01:15:59Oh, well, I did have a French vanilla candle burning earlier,
01:16:04but I'm almost positive.
01:16:06I blew it out.
01:16:07You're almost positive?
01:16:10Yes, I did.
01:16:12I did.
01:16:13I think.
01:16:14Look, you're lucky the fire was contained.
01:16:16The damage could have been far more extensive.
01:16:19You've got to be more careful from now on.
01:16:25Don't worry.
01:16:29We will be.
01:16:36Brie, hi.
01:16:38Hi.
01:16:39You left the party so quickly,
01:16:41I didn't have a chance to apologize to you for what Rex did.
01:16:45Oh, George, I'm so sorry he humiliated you in front of all those people.
01:16:49I don't know what got into him.
01:16:51Isn't it obvious?
01:16:52He hates me.
01:16:53No, he doesn't hate you.
01:16:54He doesn't even know you,
01:16:55and you don't really even know him.
01:16:58Well, I know this much.
01:16:59He's not going to let us be friends.
01:17:01Well, that's not his choice to make.
01:17:06What if he asks you not to see me anymore?
01:17:09What if he orders you not to?
01:17:11Well, I decide who I need in my life,
01:17:14and I've decided that I need you,
01:17:16and that's all there is to it.
01:17:19He could make it awfully difficult for you to spend time with me.
01:17:21Well, who says he has to know how I spend my free time?
01:17:26I'm having trouble with the family across the street.
01:17:42I think one of them may have set a fire in my house,
01:17:44and I don't know why,
01:17:46but I feel like it's got something to do with my friend who killed herself.
01:17:50I called the police,
01:17:55but they didn't take me seriously.
01:17:58This family's got a secret,
01:18:00a bad secret.
01:18:02I think I'm in over my head.
01:18:04I need you to find out
01:18:05everything there is to know about Paul Young and his family.
01:18:08Do you think you can help me?
01:18:14As a matter of fact,
01:18:15I know I can.
01:18:17Spring comes every year to Wisteria Lane,
01:18:26but not everyone remembers to stop and smell the flowers.
01:18:32Some are too busy worrying about the future
01:18:35or mistakes they've made in the past.
01:18:40Others are preoccupied with not getting caught.
01:18:49It's a window.
01:18:51Or thinking of ways to catch someone else.
01:19:00Still,
01:19:01there will always be a few who remember to take a moment
01:19:05and appreciate what spring has given them.
01:19:11Just as there will always be those who prefer to sit in the dark,
01:19:17brooding over everything they've lost.
01:19:19I don't think you can.
01:19:26I always give up a lot of time.
01:19:31I am going to focus on some of the time still,
01:19:33you know that everyone else�데 where I would be of me.
01:19:37Welcome back.
01:19:39Likewise in online store
1:19:27
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