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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives, Dave got caught.
00:04You changed your name and you're living in Fairview.
00:07It's not healthy or safe.
00:09Gabby got leverage.
00:11I'm getting that bonus after all.
00:12So, Brad, what sort of bonus are we looking at?
00:15Catherine dropped a bomb.
00:17Mike's moving in here.
00:18What?
00:19Tom called it quits.
00:21If we're gonna sell this place, we should probably know exactly how much it's worth.
00:24And Bree got honest.
00:26You're paid based on your contribution.
00:28You're saying I'm worthless.
00:29No, I'm just saying you're worthless.
00:32Which resulted in some strange behavior.
00:42Everyone who met Orson Hodge knew he believed in being polite.
00:48He greeted his neighbors each day with a sunny...
00:52Good morning.
00:54He opened doors for young women with a gallant...
00:58Allow me.
00:59If he bumped into a stranger on the street, he'd cheerfully say...
01:05I beg your pardon.
01:08And if one of his friends was having a hard time, Orson was the first to say...
01:14You need some help there.
01:15Whether his friend wanted his help or not.
01:19Orson.
01:20What are you doing here?
01:22Well, I heard about your going out of business sale and I thought you could use a hand.
01:27I'm good.
01:28Thanks.
01:28Oh, this is charming.
01:29Oh, this is charming.
01:35Oh, this salt shaker my grandfather gave me used to display it on the shelf.
01:40How much do you want for it?
01:41It's not for sale.
01:43Everything in that box of stuff I'm taking with me.
01:46Oh.
01:46Okay.
01:48Just trying to help out.
01:50I know it's a difficult day.
01:52And I think I, of all people, understand what it is you're going through.
01:58Why you, of all people?
02:00Well, I know what it's like to have your livelihood suddenly vanish.
02:04Remember, I used to be a dentist.
02:06Oh.
02:07Right.
02:08Right.
02:11Of course, it's not really the same, is it?
02:15What's not?
02:16My business started going south because of a bad economy.
02:19It got worse when my son was accused of a crime that he didn't commit.
02:22But you lost your license because you went to prison for a crime.
02:25You did commit.
02:28Why are you being this way?
02:30Because what's happening to me is unfair.
02:32What happened to you was justice.
02:36Yeah, and to compare my situation with yours on a day like this,
02:40I got to tell you, it's a little insulting.
02:44Then I apologize.
02:46My intention was never to insult you.
02:47I wanted to support you in your hour of need.
02:53Vultures are starting to arrive.
02:55I'll leave you to it, then.
03:00Yes, everyone who met Orson Hodge knew he believed in being polite.
03:07What they didn't know is that he also believed in punishing those who weren't.
03:13The day after Mike Delfino moved in with Catherine Mayfair,
03:31she thought it would be nice to share her happiness.
03:34So she decided to throw a housewarming party for her friends and neighbors.
03:43But from the moment the first invitation was delivered,
03:49her friends began making assumptions
03:51about those who had been invited
03:54and about those who hadn't.
03:59I know it's late notice, but I do hope you'll all be able to make it.
04:02Now, does this really mean no gifts,
04:04or is it like when Gabby says no gifts and she means no cheap gifts?
04:09You know, Catherine, if you need any help, I would be happy to make my...
04:12Hey, guys.
04:13What are we talking about?
04:18The federal deficit.
04:20Ooh, that sucker's big.
04:23Actually, Susan, we were talking about my housewarming party.
04:27Oh, yeah, I'm so excited.
04:30You got my RSVP, right?
04:31Yes.
04:32I'm so glad you're coming.
04:33Oh, um, by the way, can you bring your blue punch bowl?
04:36Absolutely.
04:37Anything else you need?
04:38Whoa, whoa, whoa.
04:39What's happening here?
04:40Why isn't hair being pulled?
04:43Why would we do that?
04:44Um, let's see.
04:46She's shacking up with your ex?
04:47Something which, when I do it,
04:49I get an angry mob on my front lawn.
04:52I mean, let's be honest, Susan,
04:53you weren't exactly over the moon
04:54when you heard that we're gonna live together.
04:56Well, yes, I was upset at first.
04:59But, you know, Mike was gonna be with someone eventually,
05:02and I consider myself lucky
05:04that it was someone who, after all is said and done,
05:07has always been my true friend.
05:10Susan is very sweet.
05:11And admirable.
05:13And abnormal.
05:15Hey, Gab, you remember when I was with Carlos?
05:17Shut it, bitch.
05:19See?
05:20That's normal.
05:26I'll give you $6,000 for it.
05:33What?
05:34It's a $12,000 oven.
05:35There's a dent in the door.
05:37Not a dent.
05:37A fist print.
05:40My husband's been a little frustrated lately.
05:42On the plus side,
05:43it matches the shoe print on the dishwasher.
05:45Uh-uh.
05:46$6,200.
05:47Take it or leave it.
05:48Fine.
05:52Congratulations.
05:53You just stole a pizza oven.
05:56Hey.
05:56Hey, I got $6,200 for the oven.
05:59What?
05:59That guy is ripping us off.
06:01Yeah, well, putting an everything must go sign
06:03kind of eroded our bargaining position.
06:06How are we doing on the other stuff?
06:07Well, by the end of the day,
06:09we should be able to pay off her creditors,
06:11give Bree back the $20,000 that we owe her,
06:14and have enough to live on for 45 minutes.
06:19Forget I asked.
06:21I don't want to talk about it now.
06:23Look, I know this is a crappy day for you,
06:26but we need to start thinking about
06:27what our plans are going to be.
06:29I told you, I'm going to get a job.
06:31And that is so great.
06:33So when do you think that great thing might happen?
06:35Linda, don't.
06:36Let's take it everything I got
06:38not to lose it right now.
06:40You honestly think you're going to get $200
06:41for that cappuccino machine?
06:43I'll give you $50.
06:45$50?
06:46Do you...
06:46Hey.
06:49I think you better stop with the bargain hunting
06:52unless you want your face
06:53to match the oven and the dishwasher.
06:59Hey, guys.
07:02What the hell are they doing here?
07:03They had theater tickets and their sitter canceled.
07:05We're only going to watch their kids for a couple hours.
07:07Good idea, Gabby.
07:08We're helping the slimeball cheat on his wife.
07:10Why not babysit form two?
07:12Hi.
07:14Oh, you guys are angels for doing this.
07:16Well, what are friends for?
07:18Speaking of which,
07:18thanks for hooking Brad up with his new girl.
07:20Uh, Shayla, right?
07:21You know, that hairstylist you recommended.
07:26I was at the mall making an appointment
07:28and Maria walked by.
07:29Oh, that Shayla.
07:31How many Shailas do you know?
07:34Two.
07:35Two.
07:36There's, uh, Shayla the hairstylist
07:38and then there's this other Shayla I know
07:40who's a homewrecking whore.
07:43Hey, Carlos.
07:43Why don't you take, uh, Maria and the kids inside
07:46and introduce them to the girls.
07:47Guys, we're going in.
07:48All right.
07:48Let's go.
07:53You're using me as an alibi now?
07:55I paid you 30 grand.
07:57I want my money's worth.
07:58And by the way,
07:59you're a tennis game with Maria tomorrow.
08:00You need to move it to noon.
08:01Why?
08:02So you can go get another haircut?
08:04Shayla's got a couple hours off
08:05and I want to spend them with her.
08:08Well, apparently we all want things.
08:10For instance,
08:11I would like Carlos
08:12to have a week off next month.
08:14Impossible.
08:14It's our busiest time.
08:16Come on, Brad.
08:16We don't want to be late.
08:19Oh, Gabby.
08:20We're still on for tennis tomorrow, right?
08:22Four o'clock?
08:24Four.
08:25Let me think.
08:35Actually, noon would be better for me.
08:37Could you do noon?
08:37I was supposed to have lunch with Brad.
08:41Do you mind, sweetie?
08:42Well, I was really looking forward to it,
08:44but go ahead.
08:46You girls have fun.
08:47This is to him.
08:48Can you believe this guy?
08:50Nope.
08:51He is not to be believed.
09:04My, what an interesting coat hanger.
09:06It's shaped like a sofa.
09:07Please put it in the closet.
09:10Sorry, no.
09:18Farson,
09:19why do you have a salt shaker
09:22from Scavo's pizzeria?
09:24Oh,
09:25I stopped by to express my sympathies with Tom,
09:28and I remember looking at it
09:30and I, I guess I absentmindedly put it in my pocket.
09:34Well, take it back now.
09:35They're liquidating and they're going to need every penny they can get.
09:38Emma, ma, I want to stay here with you.
09:40Me no like a Scavo so much.
09:45No?
09:46No.
09:48Very well.
09:49No, I'm not looking forward to going down there again.
09:51Really?
09:52Yes.
09:52I only went down there to commiserate
09:53and he was very dismissive.
09:56Tom has a lot on his mind.
09:57I'm sure he didn't mean it.
09:59You weren't there, Bree.
10:00He was downright rude.
10:03You know,
10:03it would serve him right if I kept this.
10:06Don't be ridiculous.
10:07Tom's rudeness does not give you license to steal.
10:10Return it immediately.
10:11My, you,
10:12you such a pretty girl.
10:14I want to live here with you.
10:16Mwah, mwah.
10:23Hey.
10:25Oh, great.
10:26On the punch bowl.
10:27Washed, clean, ready to go.
10:29Sorry about the mess.
10:30Mike's still unpacking.
10:32Hey, did you manage to keep that antler chandelier out of here?
10:35Yeah, that went right to the garage.
10:37The tough one was the framed towel with some football guy sweat on it.
10:41That football guy is Peyton Manning.
10:44You would do well to learn that name.
10:46Ah.
10:47Oh.
10:48Wow.
10:50Oh, now that I really love.
10:53I almost couldn't believe he had something that nice.
10:57For what?
10:58I painted it.
10:59It was a gift for him.
11:01Really?
11:04You painted that.
11:06You didn't mention it.
11:08Yeah.
11:09It was a little beach we went to for our honeymoon.
11:12Uh, I mean, you know how much Mike loves the ocean.
11:16Yeah.
11:17Now I can see it every day.
11:21Anyway, um, can't wait for the party.
11:23It's gonna be fun.
11:25Yep.
11:26I'm sorry I have to go through this.
11:41It must be so hard.
11:42The hard part was when my friend tried to help me with a loan, and I thanked her by becoming
11:47a lunatic and denting her car.
11:49Now that you brought it up.
11:51Well, now I've been feeling just awful about the way I took over your restaurant and insulted
11:55you, and what can I say?
11:58Hey, I think we have the kind of friendship where you don't have to say anything.
12:01Let's just hug and move on.
12:05Okay?
12:08Oh.
12:09What's Tom holding up?
12:12He's doing great.
12:13Isn't it noon?
12:18Yeah, he's up early today.
12:21He just doesn't know what he's doing next.
12:25Maybe I can help.
12:26My publisher is thinking about doing his advertising in-house, and he's been looking for someone.
12:32Seriously?
12:33Yeah.
12:34Oh, my God.
12:35That would be great.
12:36And if he gets the job, you can actually cash the check.
12:39I tell you what.
12:40I will invite Bruce over for dinner.
12:42You and Tom can join us, and we'll turn it into a low-pressure job interview.
12:46This will really cheer Tom up.
12:48Great.
12:49I'll call Bruce this afternoon.
12:57Could you call him now?
13:02Hey, Mike.
13:05Oh, I'm looking forward to one of your world-famous martinis.
13:08Yeah, so was Miss McCluskey.
13:09She got here early.
13:12But don't panic.
13:13I sent Edie out for more booze.
13:14Ah, so you sent the mouse to buy the cheese.
13:16Well done.
13:18Well, look who's here.
13:19Somebody owes me $20.
13:21How about we let it ride?
13:22Double or nothing, McCluskey slugged someone by five.
13:25Catherine and I told you guys we were taking the high road.
13:28Why won't you believe us?
13:29Because I vividly remember yesterday, and I wasn't born during it.
13:33Okay, you know what?
13:34Let me show you something I think might change your mind.
13:36So, Catherine has a picture that I painted for Mike hanging over her mantelpiece.
13:41Does she know you painted it?
13:42Yes, and we talked all about it.
13:44She loves it.
13:49You painted that?
13:50Wow, you're good.
13:51What?
13:51Where the hell is it?
13:53Bye-bye high road.
13:55What's with the puss?
13:57Catherine hung one of Mike's paintings over the mantel until she found out Susan painted it,
14:00then she took it down.
14:01Ooh, something tells me this party's about to get good.
14:05You know, there could be a perfectly innocent explanation.
14:08Hey, Kathy, what happened to Susan's painting?
14:13Oh, I am such a klutz.
14:16I was dusting yesterday, and, well, it just felt.
14:21The glass shattered, and, uh, I took it to the framer.
14:24Let's get back in a jiffy.
14:27Oh!
14:29Excuse me.
14:31See?
14:31A perfectly innocent, bald-faced lie.
14:36It is possible.
14:39I just drained a picture of martinis.
14:41I'm not buying it.
14:42Really, Susan, there's not a woman in the world who doesn't know what I broke it dusting means.
14:46That's how I got rid of Tom's last bottle of musk, the clone for men.
14:50All right, you guys, think what you want.
14:52I'm gonna choose to believe her.
14:53All right, so we have whiskey and bourbon.
15:22What else does Mike want?
15:24Bup, bup, bup, we need a system.
15:26Let's start over there in Scotland, head over to Russia, and work our way around the globe.
15:32Wow, it's crowded in here.
15:34Or I buy a lottery ticket to jackpots a hundred million.
15:37Look, there's a priest.
15:38I knew that vow of poverty was a crock.
15:45Hello!
15:48You remember me?
15:51Father Drance.
15:52I didn't know you'd move back to the area.
15:58Oh, I just remembered.
15:59Mike wants vermouth.
16:01Can you grab that before we forget?
16:03Sure.
16:05Right away.
16:08It's wonderful to see you looking so well.
16:10Shut up.
16:10I'm only gonna say this once.
16:14I've moved on.
16:18I've remarried.
16:19I have a new life, and that's the way I'd want to stay.
16:21New.
16:21Of course.
16:33So, uh, what was that about?
16:35Oh, he said we sat together once on an airplane.
16:37Apparently he's less memorable than he thinks he is.
16:40Come on.
16:40I don't want to miss the party.
16:52Fine.
16:54Fine.
16:56Fine.
16:57I won't do it, but you owe me.
16:58I gotta go.
17:02Let me guess.
17:03Brad.
17:03Yes, he wants me to take Maria shopping tomorrow.
17:06Yeah, so he can grab a quickie.
17:07You know, this whole thing is disgusting.
17:09I can't take it anymore.
17:10I know.
17:10Just keep reminding yourself that we're getting things out of it, too.
17:14Things I don't want.
17:15Things I haven't earned.
17:16No, I'm going to tell Bradley we're out.
17:20What?
17:20You can't do that.
17:21You'll lose your job and all that money.
17:23I don't care about the money.
17:25I do.
17:26And so does my personal shopper and Pilates instructor.
17:29Gabby, no.
17:30We're doing the right thing.
17:34Or we can make someone else do the right thing.
17:39Gabby, what does that mean?
17:40It means tomorrow I'm going to the mall to get my hair cut by a slut.
17:56Hey.
17:57Uh, look what I found.
17:58My beach painting.
17:59Oh, yeah.
18:00Catherine told me it broke.
18:02Sorry about that.
18:03Yeah, that's what she told me, too.
18:05Only, uh, it didn't.
18:10That's weird.
18:15Why would she...
18:16I don't know.
18:18She seemed to love the painting.
18:21Until I told her that I painted it.
18:26Excuse me just a minute.
18:31I'm not making a big deal.
18:33I just want to know why you lied.
18:34Please, not now.
18:35We have a house full of guests.
18:36We'll talk about this now.
18:38What are you doing?
18:39Um, uh, nothing.
18:41Susan showed you the painting.
18:43There's not a scratch on it.
18:44She what?
18:45You did it.
18:49Susan.
18:57I hope you enjoyed that.
19:00I didn't.
19:05I didn't.
19:06I didn't.
19:09So, what are we thinking?
19:13Well, Shayla, it is Shayla, right?
19:16Mm-hmm.
19:17I need a fresh look.
19:19I've been going through some pretty intense personal stuff lately.
19:23Oh, really?
19:26Fine, I'll tell you.
19:28I have been having an affair with a married man.
19:30And it's come to that point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
19:35So, I want a new style that says I'm not a giant turd of sin.
19:39Well, that's not your fault that you fell in love with a married man.
19:43Yeah, that's what I thought at first, and then I realized that's stupid.
19:46I mean, what about his poor wife?
19:48Well, maybe she doesn't love him enough.
19:51Oh, no, she does.
19:52She loves him plenty.
19:53So, you want to take the bangs up a little bit?
19:55And his kids.
19:56Two adorable little kids.
19:58That's sad.
19:59But sometimes you just have to look out for yourself.
20:02Well, maybe I am tired of being that kind of selfish bitch.
20:05Have you ever considered highlights?
20:08Focus, Shayla.
20:09We are talking about how I'm ruining innocent people's lives.
20:12Gabby, you seem like a lovely, warm person.
20:16Stop beating yourself up.
20:17Oh, God's sake, you bleach blonde twit.
20:20I'm not talking about me.
20:21I'm talking about you and Bradley.
20:23What?
20:24What is this?
20:25Who are you?
20:26I'm a friend of Maria's, who, by the way, happens to be a warm and lovely person.
20:30Well, maybe she is, but Brad doesn't love her.
20:33He says he's going to leave her.
20:35Oh, Shayla, he's lying.
20:37She's pregnant.
20:38That's impossible.
20:39They haven't had sex in over a year.
20:41Well, call the Vatican, because we're going to need a manger and some hay.
20:45Get out.
20:47I'm just trying to protect you here.
20:49I said get out now.
20:54Okay, let's just take a deep breath here.
20:57Let's not do anything we're going to regret.
21:00Now.
21:08This is why people should never get their hair cut in a mall.
21:12You couldn't shave?
21:27Come on, Tom.
21:28You need to look nice.
21:30Bree's going to a lot of trouble for this dinner.
21:31What, is she debuting in her salmon puff?
21:35Okay.
21:36I was going to wait to tell you this when you were in a good mood, but I realized that's
21:40not going to happen.
21:41So, Bree has a special guest tonight.
21:44Her publisher.
21:44And as luck would have it, he's looking to hire a new marketing executive.
21:48Oh, my God.
21:50Are you tricking me into a job interview?
21:53I'll find something, okay?
21:54I just need some time.
21:56You're grieving.
21:57I get it.
21:58But this sounds like a fantastic job.
22:01Please just hear the guy out and make a nice impression.
22:06Fine.
22:07I'll shave.
22:09And brush your teeth.
22:10My eyes are watering.
22:11Oh.
22:13And don't just wet the toothbrush.
22:15I can tell.
22:18Bruce.
22:24Hello.
22:25Hi.
22:25Come on in.
22:27Thank you so much for joining us tonight.
22:30May I take your coat?
22:31Sure.
22:33Oh, wait.
22:34Let me get my brain out of there.
22:36I never go anywhere without this.
22:38That way, when I get a bright idea, wham, right into the tape recorder.
22:41Oh.
22:42Sounds like quite a handy gizmo.
22:43Thank you, Orville.
22:45It's Orson.
22:46Orville, Orson.
22:48Either way, he came home from the playground, covered in bruises.
22:51Am I right?
22:53Idea for children's book.
22:54Kid who gets the crap kicked out of him because he has a goofy name.
22:57Could be Orson.
22:59Oh, that's them.
23:00Wait till you meet Tom.
23:02You'll be so glad you had that tape recorder.
23:03He's just bursting with ideas.
23:07Hi.
23:07Hey, Tom.
23:08Hi.
23:09I'd like you to meet my publisher, Bruce.
23:11It's nice to meet you.
23:13Hey.
23:14Bree, I'm getting beer if you don't mind.
23:15Hey, Catherine.
23:24Mike is standing across the street watching to make sure I apologize, even though it's clear
23:28to me you're the one who should be apologizing for the way you ruined my party.
23:31Well, that should be long enough.
23:36So here.
23:37Kiss my ass.
23:38Bye.
23:40Hold on.
23:43I'm sorry.
23:45But neither of us exactly gets a gold star for model behavior.
23:49It's not the same.
23:50Why not?
23:52You loved that painting until you found out that I did it, and then you acted totally
23:57petty.
23:57So why am I the only bad guy here?
24:06Let me ask you something, okay?
24:09Didn't it give you just the tiniest little thrill to tell me that that painting that I
24:13was so happy about was yours?
24:15That I had something in my house that represented the love between you and Mike?
24:21No.
24:22Then what are you doing, Susan?
24:25Can't you see how hard this is for me?
24:28You live right across the street.
24:31You guys share a kid.
24:33Do I have to have a painting of your honeymoon, too?
24:38Look, I knew I wasn't going to get a clean slate with Mike, okay?
24:42I just wanted a clean mantelpiece.
24:45Oh, fantastic dinner, Bree.
25:00This was a great idea.
25:01Well, I just wanted to get you together with Tom here.
25:03I thought you two might hit it off.
25:06Yeah, Tom.
25:08Bree says you used to be quite the ad whiz.
25:11Oh, I don't know.
25:12He's being modest.
25:14He was the best.
25:16Good, because I'm looking for someone to head up a new division.
25:20I'm going to put some coffee on, Orson.
25:23Would you give me a hand?
25:24Let these three chat.
25:30So, do you think you have any interest in getting back in the game?
25:35I don't know.
25:36Timing's a little weird.
25:38How so?
25:41I don't know.
25:42Well, Tom was just running a very successful restaurant, and he just sold it at a handsome
25:48profit.
25:48So, he's waiting for the right opportunity.
25:52You might have to do a little selling here, Bruce.
25:55Huh.
25:55I guess the good ones are always the hardest to land.
25:59Yeah.
25:59Let me give it a shot.
26:01We represent a small stable of elite non-fiction authors from all over the world.
26:05So, you'd be working closely with those writers to come up with creative approaches to selling
26:10their books.
26:10That sounds amazing.
26:15I don't know.
26:17Are there more potatoes?
26:19You can have mine.
26:22Stop saying I don't know.
26:26Sounds like there's a lot of travel, and I'm not really big on living out of a suitcase.
26:31Even to do two weeks at the book fair in Paris while you stay at a five-star hotel?
26:38Paris?
26:39Like France?
26:41Yes, like the greatest city in the world.
26:43Gee, I'm getting Lynette excited.
26:46Too bad you don't have any advertising experience.
26:49Well, actually, I have 12 years of experience.
26:59Really?
27:00Yeah.
27:00I was account executive for eight years, VP for four more after that, and by the way,
27:07I wrote my graduate thesis on the rise of the non-fiction novel.
27:12Wow.
27:13I know.
27:14So, what kind of starting salary are you talking about?
27:16Lynette, can I see you for a second?
27:20Okay.
27:21Bruce, could you hold that thought?
27:22I'm going to be right back.
27:27Well, we're on pins and needles.
27:29How's it going?
27:30What the hell are you doing?
27:33I'm getting this job.
27:34That's what I'm doing.
27:35I thought it was my job.
27:37Well, you're not acting like you want it very much, Mr. Uh, I don't know.
27:40Are there any more potatoes?
27:41It's not that I don't want it.
27:43It's just that it's all happening so fast.
27:45I need a little time to lick my wounds.
27:46Okay.
27:47You lick.
27:48I'm going to Paris.
27:48You're not taking my job.
27:52Your job?
27:53The one you're magically going to get by sulking and acting like a brat?
27:56You had a shot.
27:57You blew it.
27:58Oh, yeah?
27:59Yeah.
28:00You just messed with the bull, sister.
28:05Prepare to get the horns.
28:08Maybe we should slice the tart in here.
28:13I don't want to bring a large knife into this.
28:15Bruce, I was just saying to Lynette, I gave you my I don't really care about this job thing
28:31to see if you really care about this job.
28:33And you do.
28:35And I like that.
28:37Clever.
28:38Now, we haven't talked compensation package yet, but I got a good feeling.
28:42You know, Tom, you're right.
28:44Bruce does care about this job.
28:45That's why he wants to make sure he gets the perfect person for it.
28:49Well, Lynette, you yourself said I was the best.
28:53Oh, you were.
28:54And you were the best person who ever worked for me.
28:57Used to be his boss.
29:02This is not what I had in mind.
29:04I don't know why either one of them wants to work for that jackass.
29:07Now, now, he's been very good to me.
29:10Well, of course he has.
29:10Because he knows you make him a lot of money.
29:13Me, on the other hand, he sees as an insignificant little man.
29:17Barely worth mentioning as he talks into his annoying penis-shaped tape recorder.
29:23So I said to him,
29:24Je crois que c'est l'homme qui fait les chefs-d'oeuvre.
29:27And he said to me,
29:29Non, Lynette,
29:31Ce sont les chefs-d'oeuvre qui font l'homme.
29:34Ha!
29:35Great story.
29:36I assume.
29:38I don't speak another language.
29:39But I've had ad campaigns translated into 12 different ones.
29:43Including Professor Crispy's potato chips.
29:45I love that campaign.
29:47You did that?
29:47I did.
29:49Yes.
29:50Tom was very good at his job.
29:52Right up until he got fired.
29:53Well, actually, I was relieved to get fired.
29:59My boss is kind of a ball buster.
30:00Oops.
30:01She's right here.
30:03Je regrette.
30:04Oh, would anyone care for something sweet?
30:12I know I would.
30:21Well, we've all had our troubles as bosses, haven't we, Tom?
30:25I was sort of sugarcoating it when I said his restaurant was very successful.
30:29The truth is, he mismanaged that pizza joint right into the ground.
30:33Let me be very clear.
30:37I think Lynette is fantastic.
30:39She is a great manager.
30:41She's got terrific people skills and is very reliable.
30:45As long as the cancer doesn't flare up again.
30:53You know what?
30:56It's getting late.
30:58I should probably hit the road.
31:00But what about the job?
31:04Yeah.
31:06I just started looking.
31:07I'm sure it's going to be a long process.
31:09But trust me, you've certainly made an impression.
31:14I'll get you a coat.
31:15Oh, it's a shame you can't stay for dessert.
31:21I've made tarte tatin.
31:24Idea for novel.
31:25Woman who's married to a gay man and doesn't know it.
31:32Well, thanks again.
31:33I don't know when I've had such an interesting evening.
31:38I'll call you tomorrow.
31:39We'll talk about your friends.
31:44Uh, Bruce.
31:46Why don't I wrap up a piece of that tart to go?
31:48Yummy.
31:49Give it.
31:55Give what?
31:56Bruce's tape recorder.
31:57I don't know what...
31:58You took it.
31:59I saw you.
32:00Hey, hasn't anybody seen my tape recorder?
32:02It was right here.
32:04I'll look.
32:06Please.
32:08Ah.
32:10Stop.
32:11I don't have it.
32:12What do you call this?
32:14Uh, Bruce is looking for, uh...
32:19Never mind.
32:24We will talk about this later.
32:29Look what got rotten with the dirty napkins.
32:34Thanks.
32:35Thanks.
32:44Hello, Gabby.
32:45Dude!
32:47Jeez, Bradley, you scared me.
32:49You talk to Shayla.
32:51Yeah.
32:51She's a real gem.
32:53You shouldn't have done that.
32:54We have a deal.
32:55Well, I'm tired of the deal.
32:57And what you're doing to Maria is despicable.
32:59Hey.
33:00You're in no position to judge me.
33:02Don't forget, I was working with Carlos when you cheated on him.
33:06Yeah.
33:06Well, I'm not that person anymore.
33:09I've changed.
33:10Right.
33:11You're worse.
33:12You're so worried about Maria until there's money or vacation time at stake,
33:15then you're only worried about Gabby.
33:19You know what?
33:20You're right.
33:21I'm out.
33:23What do you mean?
33:25Deal's over.
33:26Not covering for your stupid little fling anymore.
33:28It's not a fling.
33:29I love her.
33:30She's the most incredible woman I've ever met.
33:32Shayla?
33:33She has a Hello Kitty tip jar.
33:35Well, she makes me happy.
33:36I can't give her up.
33:38Well, at least be man enough to tell Maria.
33:41Because if you don't, I will.
33:45All right, fine.
33:46I will tell Maria.
33:48And you can tell Carlos to bring a box to work on Monday, because he's fired.
33:53So, dinner.
34:10Wow.
34:11Lynette, I will regret for the rest of my life what I said tonight.
34:16I don't know what's going on with me.
34:19I do.
34:20And it's okay.
34:21Besides, did you hear what came out of my mouth?
34:23Like I said, wow.
34:27Wouldn't you love to hear what Bruce said into his tape recorder on the ride home?
34:32I don't know.
34:34Idea.
34:35Check local mental hospital for escape married couple.
34:37So, were you serious about wanting to go back to work?
34:54I was talking about that job tonight, and trying to convince Bruce I was good, and I remembered
35:04something.
35:04I am good.
35:06And I would like another chance to prove it.
35:12Okay.
35:14Really?
35:15Yeah.
35:16We did my thing for seven years.
35:20Now it's your turn.
35:24Do you know how embarrassed I would have been if Bruce had seen you take it?
35:31He deserved it.
35:33He insulted me.
35:34So, say something.
35:35Stand up to him.
35:36But stealing?
35:37Honestly, Orson, why would you do something like that?
35:40I don't know, Marie.
35:43I don't.
35:44Here's something I do know.
35:46When I was a successful dentist, no one spoke to me the way they do now.
35:51When I lost my practice, I lost people's respect.
35:54And you hope to earn it back through larceny.
35:56You haven't walked in my shoes.
35:58Tom lost his job.
35:59Everyone jumped to his rescue.
36:02Even you.
36:04Bending over backwards, trying to get him a job.
36:06I don't need to walk in your shoes, Orson.
36:08What you did was embarrassing and childish.
36:11And it's never going to happen again.
36:14Understood?
36:15I don't know.
36:16I don't know.
36:17I don't know.
36:18I don't know.
36:19I don't know.
36:20I don't know.
36:21I don't know.
36:22I don't know.
36:23I don't know.
36:24I don't know.
36:25I don't know.
36:26I don't know.
36:27I don't know.
36:28I don't know.
36:29I don't know.
36:30I don't know.
36:31I don't know.
36:32I don't know.
36:33Father.
36:55Yes, can I help you?
36:56Oh, I hope so.
36:58I saw you the other night when you were buying your lottery ticket.
37:00I was with my husband, Dave.
37:04Ah.
37:06Yes, he said that you barely know each other, but it didn't seem that way to me.
37:11And, well, he refuses to talk about his past.
37:16So if there is anything that you could tell me about him...
37:20I'm not sure I can do that.
37:23Please.
37:24He has so many secrets, and I don't have anyone else to turn to.
37:28I wish I could help you, but this is something you need to discuss with your husband.
37:34Well, if it was that easy, do you think that I would be here?
37:37I'm sorry.
37:38Please note that my thoughts are with you both, Mrs. Stache.
37:46It's Williams.
37:49I'm too old school for my own good.
37:51I shouldn't just assume that you took your husband's name.
37:55Anyway, good luck, Mrs. Williams.
37:58Hey, Susan.
38:12I thought I had MJ till 7.
38:13Uh, you do?
38:14I am here to take my painting back.
38:16But you gave it to me.
38:18It's mine.
38:18Well, now I'm un-giving it.
38:19Try to keep up.
38:21Okay, if this is about what happened at the housewarming...
38:23It is, actually, because that is when I decided
38:28that I don't want this piece of art that I slaved over
38:33hanging in the house you are sharing with your new girlfriend.
38:36Capisce?
38:37Okay, so the other night you were mad because it wasn't hanging out,
38:40but now you want to take it.
38:41Yep, I'm complicated like that.
38:43Aren't you glad you divorced me?
38:45If you two want a painting so bad, paint your own.
38:49Susan.
38:49Mayfair.
38:51Stay out of this.
38:56This is between me and my ex.
39:00Got it?
39:10Unbelievable.
39:24Anyway, I'm thinking a brighter color for the baby's room.
39:27Now I know it's a bit of a stretch,
39:29but how do you feel about turquoise?
39:36Sweetheart?
39:36We need to talk.
39:59What are you reading?
40:01The want ads.
40:02Can't decide if I should be a data entry operator
40:06or join the Marines.
40:09I'm so sorry.
40:10Don't be.
40:11I told you I hated working for that jackass.
40:13You did the right thing.
40:14I should have done it sooner.
40:15But you did it,
40:17even though you knew you were going to lose a lot of money.
40:19You're a good person, babe.
40:20I'm very proud of you.
40:23Well, that means a lot,
40:24coming from a United States Marine.
40:25Hello?
40:35Maria?
40:37Calm down.
40:38Calm down.
40:42Okay, we're coming over.
40:46I guess Bradley told her.
40:47Thanks for coming.
40:56I didn't know who else to call.
41:00It was horrible.
41:01He just kept telling me he loves her.
41:04She's the best thing that ever happened to him.
41:06He finally understands what love means.
41:08I just wanted him to stop talking.
41:29You should never be too impressed
41:32by people with good manners.
41:35They're the ones who will give a friendly wave
41:38even when they've stolen from you.
41:43They're the type to sweetly welcome you
41:46even as they try to uncover your secrets.
41:55They're the kind to offer you coffee
41:58even as they report you to the police.
42:02And don't be too offended
42:08by someone who's openly rude
42:10because they may be that way
42:14for the nicest of reasons.
42:18I just want to help you.
42:28I don't know.
42:30I can see you all those next time.
42:32I got lost.
42:33I just thought that I'm hanging here.
42:34I got lost.
42:35I don't like that.
42:36I made this whole way
42:37because you can understand
42:38not anything.
42:39I want to thank you
42:40for being listened live
42:41because I'm notisty.
42:42I got lost.
42:43I got lost.
42:43I got lost.
42:44I got lost.
42:45I got lost.
42:46I don't know.
42:47Transcription by CastingWords
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