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00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:03We had an agreement to keep things casual.
00:05Susan made her feelings clear.
00:07So, if I was with another woman, that wouldn't bother you?
00:10No, it wouldn't.
00:11You work here?
00:12Great with food. I understand business.
00:15Bree made Orson a partner.
00:17Is she still asking you questions about me?
00:19A few.
00:20And Dave took steps to get Karen McCluskey out of the way.
00:23You think you can screw with me?
00:27Karen!
00:28Don't be doing that, stupid.
00:34As a masseur for the Fairview Country Club,
00:37Carlos Solis had become an expert on how to make women happy.
00:44That's why he always had scented candles waiting for Sue Bridges.
00:50New Age Music for Betsy Daniel.
00:53And Apple Schnapps for Shannon Glenn.
00:59Yes, Carlos had made a lot of women happy over the years.
01:06But on one very unusual Wednesday afternoon,
01:10he made Mrs. Virginia Hildebrand a little happier than he intended.
01:27Helen said your last reservation just canceled. You want a ride home?
01:29Thanks, Clay. That'd be great.
01:32Can I ask you something? How long have you been a masseur?
01:36Fourteen years.
01:37Okay. And in all those years, have you ever accidentally given a woman an orgasm?
01:45An orgasm?
01:46Keep your voice down. You want to get me fired?
01:48How do you accidentally give a woman an orgasm?
01:51I don't know.
01:52I can barely give my girlfriend one.
01:54And I try.
01:56Really hard.
01:57All I did was touch her back.
02:00Are you sure?
02:01Some of these old broads, their bodies drop.
02:04Not everything's where it's supposed to be.
02:06I may be blind, but my sense of touch is just fine.
02:08Well, maybe she just really liked the massage.
02:11You wouldn't believe the moaners I get on my table.
02:14I'm telling you, her body was quivering.
02:16She could barely breathe.
02:18All right. Well, there's one surefire way to find out.
02:20Where's your tip envelope?
02:21On the counter.
02:27How much do you leave me?
02:30Enough for two orgasms.
02:31Yes, Carlos Solis was an expert on how to make women happy.
02:42I'm about to go get groceries.
02:43Where are your tips?
02:49Oh, my God.
02:50How did you get so much?
02:52And he knew the best way to keep his wife happy.
02:56Just good at my job.
02:57Was to lie.
03:16There are dangerous women in this world.
03:19Devious predators waiting to strike.
03:22You can spot them by the lipstick they use.
03:25The shoes they wear.
03:29And the perfume they choose.
03:31But the easiest way to spot a dangerous woman
03:35is to see how she behaves.
03:38I'm about to make you so happy.
03:41With another woman's husband.
03:44Amy, don't worry about the lunch specials.
03:46I am only two blocks away.
03:48I'll take care of it once I...
03:49Actually, you do them.
03:54I'm gonna be a while.
04:00Tom?
04:03Hey, Lynette, hey.
04:05What are you doing here?
04:07So funny.
04:08I was gonna ask you the same question.
04:09But I was gonna start with...
04:11What the hell?
04:12You remember Ann, right?
04:13Ann Schilling.
04:15Kirby's mom.
04:17We were room parents together in the third grade.
04:20Right.
04:22So...
04:24What the hell?
04:26Tom, why don't we just show her?
04:36It's for my band.
04:38Ann has been helping us find a rehearsal space.
04:41Oh...
04:43That's right, you're a realtor.
04:45Now, I know what you were thinking.
04:46It seems like a waste of money.
04:48But I just got them to reduce the rent
04:50and throw in the utilities.
04:52And you're always complaining about the noise
04:54when we practice in the garage, so, you know...
04:58What do you think?
05:01I think...
05:03it's great.
05:05You do?
05:06Wonderful.
05:07Yeah.
05:08Listen, I have to be somewhere by 10,
05:10so...
05:11why don't we sign a lease right now?
05:14Wow.
05:15I was convinced that you would think it was a dumb idea.
05:18Well, it's a little dumb, but...
05:21compared to what I was thinking...
05:23What were you thinking?
05:26Well, it's just...
05:29I saw you two together, I...
05:31I didn't know that you were...
05:32and she looks so...
05:37For God's sakes, Tom, the woman has to be somewhere.
05:39Just sign the damn lease.
05:43So, out of nowhere, Jackson says let's move in together.
05:47I mean, of course, I was stunned.
05:49And then when I said no, he just broke up with me.
05:52I mean, does he really expect me to be in love after just five months?
05:56That's crazy.
05:57Yeah, I guess.
05:58Although his work on these moldings is amazing.
06:01You really want me to repaint these, Suzanne?
06:03It's Susan.
06:04And he was the first one to say he didn't want to get serious.
06:07Which is why I was happy.
06:08We were just having fun.
06:10Well, maybe you should call him.
06:12How do you like this color?
06:14Not too much. Frank, how can I call him?
06:17He's the one that ended it with me.
06:19But the guy makes you happy.
06:23He says he loves you.
06:25You gonna let pride stop you from finding out where this thing could go?
06:31Come on.
06:33Don't be stupid.
06:39How much am I paying you?
06:41Fourteen dollars an hour.
06:43That's not enough.
06:46No, ma'am, it's not.
06:47Carlos, what are you doing home?
06:49Virginia insisted on giving me a ride.
06:51You must be Gabrielle.
06:53Carlos has told me so much about you.
06:55I'm Virginia Hildebrand.
06:56Oh, you are the Mrs. Hildebrand.
06:58Well, you're Carlos' favorite client.
07:00Well, mine anyway.
07:01I bought the stop with that crazy tip you gave him.
07:02Your Carlos has helped my back problems like no masseur I have ever had.
07:04I'm pain-free for the first time in years.
07:07Oh, that's Carlos for you, Mr. Magic Hands.
07:09He hits the old sweet spot every time.
07:11Okay, Gabby.
07:13I should go now.
07:14I should go now.
07:16I'll go now.
07:18Okay, Gabby.
07:19But promise you'll at least consider my little proposal.
07:21What proposal?
07:23I hate to stop when we're making so much progress.
07:25But I need to go to Europe for two months.
07:27Mostly London and Rome.
07:29I'd be so grateful if Carlos would accompany me as my personal emissure.
07:33To home?
07:35No.
07:37No.
07:39No.
07:41No.
07:43No.
07:45No.
07:47No.
07:49No more.
07:51Mittens?
07:52See, I told you, it's too long and Gabby has the girls and...
07:53I know it's a lot to ask, which is why I'm offering close.
07:5598,000 dollars.
07:5750,000?...
07:59Per month?
08:01Well, pip, pip and he rev their teeth!
08:04Gabby.
08:05I'll leave you two to discuss it.
08:07What's to discuss?
08:08With that kinda money, you could lock him in a cage and feed him peanuts.
08:11I'll see you tomorrow Carlos.
08:13Lovely meeting you, Gabby.
08:14Gabby.
08:17Carlos, don't even think about saying no to this.
08:19She is not my only client.
08:20I'll be letting down the rest if I go.
08:22Mr. Banks could even fire me.
08:23Oh, don't worry about Mr. Banks.
08:24I'll take care of him.
08:25Gabby!
08:26Oh, and so what if he fires you?
08:28Once Virginia tells all of her rich lady friends
08:30about what you did for her,
08:31they'll be lining up around the block.
08:35Great.
08:42Hey, great news.
08:44I just got a call from my old friend, Peter Hickey.
08:47I don't recall ever hearing that name before.
08:49He's a friend from college.
08:51Anyway, he mentioned that his parents' 50th anniversary
08:53was next month, and I convinced him to let us cater it.
08:56Dinner for 80.
08:5880?
08:59He shoots, he scores!
09:00Morrison, you are amazing!
09:05One week on the job, and he's already bringing in huge accounts.
09:09Great.
09:10Well, better go marinate the scallops for lunch tomorrow.
09:15Oh, scallops?
09:16Done.
09:18Done?
09:19Hmm.
09:19Oh, I also made the pesto mayonnaise,
09:21and I put the individual cobblers in their ramekins.
09:23Oh, well, it looks like we're all set until the morning then.
09:26Hey, why don't you take the afternoon off?
09:29And do what?
09:30I don't know.
09:31Read, relax, give yourself a pedicure.
09:34Fine.
09:37Why do you bet I'd take my socks off
09:38and see that Orson's already done it for me?
09:48What are you doing?
09:49The refrigerator needs cleaning.
09:51No, it doesn't.
09:53And besides, I gave you the day off.
09:55Now go home.
09:57I'm thinking about moving to Maryland.
10:00Maryland?
10:01Maryland's there with her husband, and the baby's coming soon.
10:05Maybe it's time for me to go inflict myself on them.
10:07You can't just up and move.
10:09You have a life here.
10:10No, I don't.
10:11I have a job, period.
10:13No kids to raise, no husband, no boyfriend.
10:16Might as well throw in the towel and go be a grandma.
10:20Catherine, you are a vibrant, attractive woman.
10:23You hasn't had sex in two years.
10:26That spells grandma to me.
10:27I haven't made up my mind yet.
10:32Just let me think about it.
10:34It helped keep me busy.
10:38When you're done with that,
10:39the oven could use a really good scrubbing.
10:42Bless you.
10:42Karen?
10:51Oh, those must have set you back a chunk.
10:55Yes, they did.
10:56Not that you deserve them.
10:59I don't blame you for being mad.
11:03I'm not mad.
11:05I'm furious.
11:06And what the hell were you thinking,
11:09coming up my husband with a baseball bat?
11:11I know.
11:12I'm really sorry, Edie.
11:14The doctor had me on these new meds,
11:16and it made me loopy.
11:18I thought Dave was messing with my head,
11:20and all the time it was the damn pills.
11:22Well, I hope you stop taking them.
11:24You bet.
11:25I had to get my marbles back.
11:27Look, I know you just got here,
11:31but I am so sleepy.
11:33Of course.
11:34I'll see you when you get home.
11:40Actually, I'm going to call my sister
11:42and see if I can stay with her for a while.
11:44I don't think I should be on my own just yet.
11:47Okay.
11:48Then I'll see you whenever.
11:52Oh, be sure and tell Dave how sorry I am.
11:55He will be so glad.
11:57He's really fond of you, you know.
12:11Hey, sis, it's Karen.
12:13Do me a favor and get your sorry ass
12:15over to Fairview Memorial Hospital ASAP.
12:18I need you big time, kiddo.
12:26Come in.
12:27Hi, I'm looking for Orson Hodge.
12:31I'm Peter Hickey.
12:32Oh, yes, of course.
12:34I'm his wife, Bree.
12:35I'm afraid he's out running errands,
12:37but he's told me all about you.
12:39Oh?
12:40Yes, he said you were roommates back in college.
12:44Yes, we were.
12:45Absolutely.
12:46Anyway, my parents' 50th anniversary is coming up,
12:49and I thought I'd surprise them with a family reunion.
12:52What a thoughtful son you are.
13:02So, uh, have you given any thought to the venue?
13:05Yes, I have a summer place up in Lake Pleasant.
13:08I'm pretty sure the terrace fits eight tables of ten.
13:10My, that's a nice little terrace.
13:13Well, we will throw you a party so special
13:15that you'll want us to cater your anniversary, too.
13:19Actually, I'm not married.
13:21Oh.
13:24Well, let's talk about food.
13:27With a new client, what I usually do
13:28is discuss possible menus,
13:30and then I have my very best chef
13:33prepare a sample dinner.
13:36Sample dinner?
13:37We don't do sample dinners.
13:40But this is Orson's college roommate.
13:43And he's quite the catch.
13:47Oh, wait a minute.
13:48Is this a setup?
13:49Because I loathe blind dates.
13:50Well, that's what's so great about it.
13:51Technically, it's a business dinner.
13:53It has all the potential upside of a date
13:55while still being tax deductible.
13:58Fine.
14:00I will cook for the man.
14:02But I am not going to get dressed up,
14:03I am not going to put on makeup,
14:05and I am not going to flirt.
14:07He came while Orson was out.
14:09I let him record a message on my phone.
14:15Orson.
14:16Sorry I missed you, buddy.
14:17Catch you next time, okay?
14:20You realize you could have just led with this
14:22and saved us this whole discussion?
14:23Mm-hmm.
14:30Jeez, Roberta.
14:33Put that damn thing out.
14:34You're not in a corner saloon.
14:36Then how come there's bourbon in my coffee?
14:39Do I have to call the nurse?
14:40Fine.
14:41I drove 80 miles to see you, Karen.
14:42You better be dying,
14:43or you're going to pay for my gas.
14:45I'm not dying,
14:46but there's someone who sure wishes I was.
14:48Son of a bitch landed me in here.
14:49Can you tell me where to find him?
14:52I'll clean his damn clock.
14:54No, we've got to be careful with this guy.
14:56He's dangerous.
14:58That's what you said about that biker in Florida
15:00who now has to puree all his food?
15:03Oh, I nearly forgot about him.
15:06That was a fun vacation.
15:10So what do you need me to do?
15:11Let me come stay with you when I get out of here.
15:14This guy thinks I'm out of commission
15:15and I want to keep it that way.
15:17And you can help me do some digging.
15:18You still work for that cell phone company, the...
15:21Teleshore.
15:22Yes, God help me.
15:24Good.
15:25Pull his records and see what turns up.
15:27The name is Dave Williams.
15:29How do you know he's with Teleshore?
15:31I went through his mail.
15:34God, you remind me of mom.
15:39So what else you need?
15:41Could you smuggle me on a cold brewski?
15:48Boy, no one knows you like family.
16:02Jackson, it's me.
16:09Hello?
16:10That'll work.
16:18That'll work.
16:18You can't help me.
16:43Are you okay?
17:02I think so.
17:04Good.
17:07So who the hell are you?
17:10Darcy.
17:11Who the hell are you?
17:12Susan.
17:13Jackson's girlfriend?
17:15He never said anything about a girlfriend when we hooked up at the club.
17:19Well, when guys go slut hunting, they tend not to play the girlfriend card.
17:24Did you just call me a slut?
17:26You met the guy tonight. Now you're in the shower. I'm just doing the math.
17:30Got the pizza.
17:31Oh, crap.
17:33So we break up and 15 minutes later you're with someone else.
17:38You got over me fast.
17:40Surprised it took 15 minutes.
17:41Stay out of this.
17:43Susan, why are you here?
17:45I wanted to talk about our future.
17:48You said you didn't want a future.
17:50Well, I was starting to change my mind and then I show up and find five feet of lip gloss in the shower.
17:57I brought hot wings. You're not getting any.
18:02Hey, what's that for?
18:09Well, I was going to use it to wash down a bottle of sleeping pills the next time your husband's band defiled another rock classic.
18:15But since you got them our rehearsal space, I thought we could share it over ice.
18:20Come on in.
18:24We're taking off. Remember, I'm spending the night at Kirby's house.
18:26Oh, right. And Kirby, tell your mom thanks. That place she found for Tom is already paying off.
18:31Yeah, she said she was there yesterday and said it was looking pretty cool.
18:35She was there? Why?
18:37She's just dropping off some old furniture for Mr. Scavo. A couple of chairs, lamp, futon.
18:41Okay.
18:43Oh.
18:45Well, see you tomorrow.
18:46Okay.
18:48Drive safely.
18:49Yeah.
18:51Um, neat or rocks?
18:52Rocks.
18:55So why does Tom need a bed in his rehearsal space?
18:59Not a bed. A futon, like a couch.
19:01That folds out to a bed.
19:03What do you say?
19:04Well, if it's just a couch, why didn't Tom tell you about it?
19:07How do you know he didn't?
19:09I don't. Did he?
19:11No.
19:15Well, good for you.
19:18Good for you for not worrying about your husband's bachelor pad.
19:21You are not the teeniest bit paranoid, and I say brava.
19:26Now, why aren't we drinking?
19:36Woo-hoo-hoo! Not bad! I mean, we were really cooking there.
19:40Tom, you got any beer in the fridge?
19:42I got nothing but beer in the fridge.
19:44All right, everyone, go grab a cold one. You earned it. You sounded great!
19:48Oh, do we blow.
19:51Oh, yeah.
19:52Not you, though. Man, you got the heart of a real blues guy.
19:56Well, that's what five years in prison will do to you.
19:58Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
20:01Still, it's fun, isn't it?
20:03Highlight of my week.
20:04You know, uh, I was thinking maybe we should bump up our rehearsal schedule, you know, to start working the kinks out.
20:11Oh, twice a week's been all I can handle.
20:13What are you doing that's more important than this?
20:15Well, let's see. My job, my son.
20:18Uh, also, I just met this woman.
20:22Oh, no, dude, not blowing us off for a girl.
20:25Buddy, I just started seeing her. All right, it's kind of important for the whole getting back on the horse thing.
20:29All right, what about Saturday afternoon?
20:32I mean, come on, man. We gotta do this.
20:35Why?
20:37You're putting a lot of time and effort into a neighborhood garage band.
20:42Why is it such a big deal to you?
20:46It's not. I'm just having a real good time.
20:51All right, boys, what do you say?
20:52We're gonna drink beer? We're gonna play some rock and roll.
21:03Tom, where are you?
21:04Hey, babe, we just really got into a groove at rehearsal, and I think we're gonna play for a couple more hours.
21:10Yeah?
21:11Anyway, I just want to say don't wait up for me, and I will, um, I'll see you in the morning, okay?
21:15Okay. Bye.
21:16Bye.
21:34Oh, my God.
21:40Lynette.
21:43You said you were rehearsing.
21:47I know. I know.
21:49The guys, the guys left, and I just figured I'd, uh, hang out for a little bit.
21:54Why can't you do that at home?
21:59What the hell is this?
22:01You're moving out on me?
22:04Why would I move out?
22:05So you can have your affair.
22:08You know, the one that follows the sports car and the garage band and wanting to quit your job.
22:15The final stage of your midlife crisis.
22:17Oh, and then, when I hear Ann, chilling has been dropping by.
22:24Lynette, she had a bunch of old crappy furniture in her garage.
22:27I bought it for 50 bucks.
22:29You don't really think that...
22:30Okay.
22:38These past few months when we've been fighting about the car and the road trip,
22:43part of me thought that you were just complaining to complain, trying to ruin my fun.
22:49But if it's affecting you like this, if it's making you actually think that I would hurt you in that way,
22:55I'm done with all of this.
23:00So you'll come home?
23:02Of course.
23:15Let me just square all this stuff away, okay?
23:18And then I will see you there.
23:22Good.
23:23Maybe when you come home, you could teach me how to play that video game.
23:33That'd be great.
23:35Okay.
23:35Hey, Clay.
23:52Is Mr. Banks around?
23:53Not back from lunch yet.
23:54What's up?
23:55Oh, I need to sweet-talk him into giving Carlos two months off.
23:58Oh, you two going away somewhere?
23:59No, just Carlos.
24:02Mrs. Hildebrand is taking him to Europe as her personal massage therapist.
24:07Personal massage therapist?
24:09Paying him a fortune.
24:11But he's worth it.
24:12I mean, what he's done for that woman, no one else has been able to do.
24:16So, he told you about that?
24:18They both did.
24:19You should have seen the woman.
24:21Looking at Carlos, gushing like crazy.
24:23And you're okay with them going away together?
24:27Why should I be jealous?
24:28A woman's like 60.
24:29If she gets off on Carlos' magical touch, what do I care?
24:32Yeah.
24:34Well, you're broad-minded.
24:35You know, if my girlfriend knew that my massages were giving a woman orgasms, no matter how old she was...
24:40Whoa, whoa, whoa.
24:42Nobody used the O word.
24:45He didn't mention that?
24:47No!
24:48He's giving her orgasms?
24:49Don, not deliberately.
24:51He swears he's only been doing his standard massage.
24:53Oh, I bet he does.
24:55Where is he?
24:56Is she here now?
24:57Oh, no.
24:58No, she prefers her place, so she's been sending a car for him.
25:05Where?
25:06Where does she live?
25:07It's that big house on the corner of Lake and Pinehurst.
25:09I'm sorry, Gabby.
25:10Is there anything I can do?
25:12Well, when the time comes, an alibi would be nice.
25:15Nice.
25:20We need to talk.
25:23Sorry, bad time.
25:24I have the mailman upstairs in my tub.
25:27You know what?
25:29You have no right to be mad at me.
25:31I don't.
25:32Look, I try to commit to you, and you push me away.
25:34I try to move on, and I'm a shallow jerk.
25:36What the hell are you doing?
25:38I have been married twice, and both times, that's imploded.
25:42So really, I feel like love is not my friend.
25:47You know, I wish that I could say it was just rotten luck, but I just am thinking that
25:54I can't do this.
25:58You can't.
25:59I never even had a real girlfriend before I met you.
26:01I didn't want one.
26:02And the first time I try to commit, bam, I get smacked.
26:04Look, I don't even know where we are anymore.
26:09Wow.
26:09We really messed this up, didn't we?
26:20Pretty much, yeah.
26:21We just have so much baggage.
26:24I wish we could start over.
26:30Can we start over?
26:39Hello?
26:57Hi.
26:58Is Susan Meyer there?
27:04May I ask his calling?
27:05This is Jackson, a Braddock.
27:09Uh, we met once.
27:10I don't know if you remember me.
27:11I have brown hair.
27:12Uh, yeah.
27:13I think I remember you.
27:14Well, anyway, I thought we really clicked, so I was wondering if you might want to have
27:19dinner with me.
27:21Okay.
27:23When?
27:24Tomorrow.
27:25I know this great Mexican...
27:27Uh, ahem.
27:28French place.
27:29Sounds great.
27:32Pick me up at 7.
27:33Great.
27:34Where do you live?
27:36Ha, ha, ha.
27:49May I help you?
27:51Excuse me.
27:53I am Gabriel Solis.
27:55Perhaps you know my husband.
27:57He rubs your boss.
27:59Where are they?
28:00I am under stripped instructions not to disturb Mrs. Hildebrand.
28:05You can wait here.
28:06Fine.
28:10When the cops bust up this brothel, I'm going to tell them you're the madam.
28:14Yes, that's it, right there.
28:28You sure this isn't too rough?
28:31No way.
28:32Go deeper, I can take it.
28:34Hold on.
28:48I've got a creak.
28:49I...
28:50Carlos, I just remembered I have an important business call to make.
29:01Could you give me the room for a minute?
29:05Absolutely.
29:16Mrs. Solis, what are you doing here?
29:18I know what you've been up to and shame on you.
29:21What are you talking about?
29:23I know about the big hole.
29:24Oh, dear, he could tell.
29:29I'm beyond mortified.
29:31I understand your concern, but I assure you it was only that one time.
29:35It's never happened again.
29:37And it never will, because if you think I'm going to let you drag Carlos off to Europe, you're nuts.
29:42I suppose I should be flattered that a woman as young and beautiful as you should see me as a threat.
29:48But it would be a shame to let it end a friendship that has come to mean so much to me.
29:53Maybe a little too much.
29:55Mrs. Solis, my husband's gone.
29:57I'm estranged from my family.
29:59If you live with loneliness long enough, it becomes an ache inside you, an actual physical pain.
30:05I thought I'd live with that pain the rest of my life.
30:08Then your husband healed me.
30:10Can you blame me for being grateful?
30:11No, but I just think we should end things before they get any weirder.
30:21Carlos tells me he used to be a fashion model.
30:24I've always had a passion for clothes.
30:27The reason I'm going to Europe is to see the couture collections in Paris and Milan.
30:32Lucky you.
30:33It's not so much fun going alone.
30:37But if I had a knowledgeable companion like you to be my guide, in fact, you could be my personal shopper.
30:46That is, if you don't mind being paid in dresses.
30:49Gosh, that's a hell of a sweet offer, but I've got the girls and, um...
31:01We'll bring them along.
31:03Think what fun we'll have dressing them up.
31:08What the hell?
31:09You're never too young to see Paris, right?
31:11I'm so glad.
31:13I can see we're going to be great friends.
31:16Carlos, I'm done with my call.
31:37Hello?
31:40Hey, hon.
31:41Check this out.
31:42If it's the cat eating spaghetti, I've already seen it.
31:45It's our band logo.
31:47We're thinking of getting t-shirts made up.
31:50Blue Odyssey.
31:51Who can remember that?
31:52This was the name of my brother's band when he was in high school.
31:56You have a brother?
32:00Had.
32:00He died.
32:04Well, you never told me about him.
32:08What happened?
32:09What happened?
32:09His name was Steve.
32:15He was a great guy.
32:18Just kind of got caught up in drugs and couldn't get out.
32:22He went to prison when he was there.
32:25He was killed.
32:26By another inmate.
32:28And what happened to the guy who killed him?
32:31Oh, the court ruled it self-defense.
32:32So the guy finished his time and he got out.
32:37I can't believe you've never told me about him.
32:41I mean, it might help you to talk about stuff like that.
32:45I have my own way of dealing with it.
32:54Oh, sorry I'm late.
32:56The rehearsal was awesome.
32:58They're letting me sing lead vocal on Hotel California.
33:02Oh, that's nice.
33:03Hey, was there a blue convertible parked in front of Catherine's?
33:06Yes, there was.
33:07Nice one.
33:08My God, he's still there.
33:09Who's still there?
33:10Well, Catherine's been lonely, so I set her up with a client.
33:12And he's been there for over four hours, so you know it's going well.
33:16Good for you, clever little matchmaker.
33:19Well, you deserve some credit, too.
33:21I mean, you brought us Peter's business.
33:23Peter?
33:25Peter Hickey?
33:27Yes?
33:28You set him up with Catherine?
33:29Is that bad?
33:31Potentially.
33:32Is he gay?
33:33Ugh, I knew he had too much product in his hair.
33:37No, it's just that when I booked the anniversary party, I didn't want you to be uncomfortable around Peter,
33:42so I said we'd met in college, which is not actually the case.
33:45Well, where did you meet?
33:47Prison.
33:49Peter's a felon?
33:51But he's so refined, so handsome.
33:54To qualities that did not serve him well behind bars.
33:57My God, or so what kind of criminal is he? A killer? A rapist?
34:00Oh, no, no, no, nothing like that.
34:02They got him for organ trafficking.
34:04What?
34:05He was a surgeon, and it seems that when the opportunity presented itself,
34:09he'd harvest the odd liver or kidney from a deceased patient and then sell it on the black market.
34:14Are you telling me that I set Catherine up with a convicted grave robber?
34:18Well, you said yourself women over 40 can only be so choosy.
34:20That is not funny.
34:22I have to go warn Catherine.
34:23Catherine.
34:31Catherine, hi.
34:33Is everything all right over there?
34:35Yes, everything's fine.
34:38Then why are you whispering?
34:43Peter just fell asleep.
34:45I don't want to wake him.
34:45Oh, my God.
34:47You slept with him?
34:50You can wag that finger all you like.
34:53I've got just six words for you, Brie Hodge.
34:58Thank you, thank you, thank you.
35:00Oh, I just really wish you'd taken things more slowly.
35:03Brie, you have given me the most magical night I've had since I don't know when.
35:08Are you going to make me feel bad about it now?
35:11No, I'm not.
35:13Oh, he's just so wonderful.
35:17I tell you, if I'm not careful, this guy could steal my heart.
35:22Well, if he tries, just promise you'll call.
35:31Sorry I'm late.
35:33I was sleeping so soundly, Peter didn't want to wake me.
35:38What's this?
35:40The Cosmopolitan.
35:41That's your favorite, isn't it?
35:43It's 10 a.m.
35:44I don't want to drink.
35:46You will.
35:51But these homeless people whose kidneys he bought, he at least paid them well, right?
35:59Oh, I am so, so sorry.
36:02No, it's not your fault you didn't know.
36:04I know it but myself to blame.
36:08Oh, that's it.
36:09I'm going to Maryland.
36:11You can't just move because of one bad date.
36:14You don't get it.
36:16When we started this, you were just as lonely as I was.
36:21Orson in jail, Benji gone.
36:24And I felt bad for you, but boy, was it nice to have somebody in the same boat.
36:27And then Orson got out and now he's here all the time.
36:32And I feel like you're this fun, happy, power couple.
36:38And I'm just this needy, pathetic idiot who hops into bed with the first pancreas thief who kisses her.
36:47I should be with family.
36:56And I'm not family?
37:02Catherine, all my life I wanted a sister.
37:05And now I feel like I finally have one.
37:08And we're always fighting and competing with each other.
37:14What could be more sisterly than that?
37:18I know I'm not the most...
37:21demonstrative person.
37:25But I care about you deeply.
37:27And if you were to just walk out of my life, I would be very...
37:32very unhappy.
37:34Well, I wouldn't want that.
37:39Good.
37:45Well, now that that's settled, let's make some pies.
37:48Okay.
37:53Can I have another Cosmo?
37:55No.
38:00Hey, is Porter still at Kirby's?
38:02Yeah.
38:03What's wrong with you?
38:04You've been antsy all night.
38:06Nothing.
38:06No, I'm fine.
38:07I'm fine.
38:12Okay.
38:13I know what it is.
38:14I have had this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something,
38:17and then I just realized,
38:18I think I left the freezer door at Scavo's open.
38:21You sure?
38:22No.
38:24That's why it's going to drive me crazy.
38:25I better go down there and check.
38:28Okay.
38:29Hurry back.
38:32I'm so glad you were able to get away.
38:43I didn't think you'd make it.
38:46Yeah.
38:48I'm glad my parents still think I'm young enough for sleepovers.
38:56Crap!
38:57It's my dad!
38:58It's my dad!
38:58It's my dad!
38:58It's my dad!
38:59I know what you were just...
39:10When I found this, I thought,
39:15oh, great.
39:16One of the guys in the band is having an affair.
39:18And then it hit me.
39:21Porter has a key.
39:22Where is she?
39:28Dad?
39:29Don't.
39:30She isn't wearing anything, all right?
39:34Who is she?
39:35Just some girl from English class.
39:37You don't know her.
39:38I'm going to go in the bathroom.
39:40You've got 60 seconds to get her out of here.
39:42Yeah.
40:00Oh, hey, Mike.
40:08Wow.
40:09Look at you all dressed up.
40:10oh yeah I was um kind of on a date oh how'd it go pretty bad basically she just grilled me
40:20all through dinner what do I think about this what would I do if that I barely even know her
40:25I felt like I was on trial for my life oh I'm sorry I just wanted somebody nice to have a cup
40:30of coffee with I guess that's too much to ask well it's kind of late for coffee but
40:36I do have lemonade I'd settle for lemonade
40:40hey you know I know it seems like I am being hard on you but like I told you before I don't think
40:56that you are emotionally ready for sex I know what you said just making sure you heard me
41:04now go to bed okay it's late
41:09want me to put the car cover on for you first sure thanks
41:18you shouldn't be here someone might recognize your car is everything okay
41:37yeah my dad doesn't suspect anything I'm sorry if I got you in any trouble
41:43it's okay you're worth it
41:46there are dangerous women in this world
41:51some are lovers blind to the consequences of their actions
41:57some are wives enraged by the betrayal of those they trusted
42:05others are predators deviously setting traps to get what they want
42:15if you are unlucky enough to come upon one of these dangerous creatures
42:24the safest thing to do I pulled those records you asked for looks like your mr. Williams is keeping a little secret
42:31is run the other way
42:34they're not really good so they're not the searching for them
42:38and if you're lucky I don't even know what to do
42:40this is the thing
42:42that can find me
42:44I love you
42:45love you
42:47love you
42:50love you
42:51love you
42:52love you
42:53love you
42:56love you
42:58love you
43:00love you
43:02love you
43:04Transcription by CastingWords
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