00:00She's not controlling, she's trying to survive your emotional absence and you shut down so
00:04she's going to ask questions and you call her too much.
00:07You avoid the hard conversations and when she follows up with you, she's being nagging.
00:13And this isn't about control, this is about survival, right?
00:16When her emotional needs are ignored, her nervous system takes over because the connection
00:20feels fragile, it feels unpredictable, it feels unsafe and you think she's overanalyzing
00:25everything and she's trying to decode what's going on with your silence.
00:28And when you respond with sarcasm or criticism or stonewalling or whatever that looks like,
00:34it's not just your way, it's a weapon.
00:36And it teaches her to doubt herself.
00:39And your lack of emotional maturity doesn't just hurt her, it confuses her reality.
00:44She starts wondering, am I really the problem?
00:47And the spoiler on this is that she's not.
00:50Emotional withdrawal is emotional neglect and neglect can be as painful as abuse.
00:54So if you care about her, you'll stop excusing your emotional shutdowns.
00:58She doesn't want to control you, she just wants to feel safe with you.
01:02So grow up emotionally, start therapy.
01:06Don't make her carry the weight of your work.
