00:01Sprockets, Sprockets, Best German Television presents Sprockets, with your host, Dieter.
00:08Welcome to Sprockets, I'm your host, Dieter.
00:22Thank you very much for your kind applause on my entrance.
00:25I always like a warm hand on my opening.
00:32Well, it's Oscar time, and I'm as happy as a little girl.
00:38We here at Sprockets would like to present our own alternative Academy Award show.
00:44It is called the Insane Academy Awards.
00:48The Insane Academy Awards.
00:57Helping me tonight is fellow Insane Film Enthusiast and my lover.
01:03Helmet, please welcome Helmet Bosch.
01:23Before we begin, would you like to touch my monkey?
01:27I will touch him.
01:28Touch him.
01:29Love him.
01:30Leave him and I'm shrinking.
01:32Leave him and leave him.
01:34Sir, I did it.
01:36Now, was that so hard?
01:39Sit.
01:44How do you answer the rumours that you are a silly bitch?
01:54I embrace them.
01:55Right.
01:56Let us get on to this year's Insane Academy Awards.
02:00Helmet, would you like to explain how we selected this year's nominees?
02:04No.
02:23If you don't comply, then no tossed salad for you, Missy.
02:27The nominees were randomly selected for no good reason.
02:30The names came to us from the part of the brain that exists in the nether region between sleep and
02:35terror.
02:36Very well.
02:37The Insane Academy nominees are
02:40Best Supporting Actor in a Drama
02:43Mason Reese, A Few Good Men
02:46I guess he couldn't handle the truth.
02:49Or the Morgish Board
02:52Gavin McLeod in Sounder
02:56Captain Stubing never had it so good
02:58And finally, Martha Ray in Network
03:02I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to clean my dentures anymore
03:07And the winner is
03:09A Bag of Woodchips in the China Syndrome
03:16Now, let's move on to the ladies
03:18Best Supporting Actress in a Drama or Training Film
03:21K-Lens, Gandhi
03:24Karen Valentine, Jumanji
03:26And I'll have Charlie Weaver to block
03:30And the winner is
03:31Dan Rather, Big
03:37Best Chigro in a Musical
03:39Ray Don Chong, The Music Man
03:42Peter Ustinov, Bye Bye Birdie
03:45And Denzel Washington in Yentl
03:49And the winner is
03:51Ah, we have a tie
03:53George Jetson for My Left Foot
03:55And the Fonz in Tora, Tora, Tora
03:59Sit on it, putsy
04:02Now, moving on
04:04Best Treatable Disease in a Drama or Travel Log
04:07Crohn's Disease, Midnight Cowboy
04:09Scoliosis, Moonstruck
04:10Your categories have become tiresome
04:12Now's the time on Spockets where we dance
04:17Now, for the time we have on Spockets
04:19My guest has been my lover, Helmet
04:24My name is Dieter, Auf Wiedersehen
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04:34You
