00:00Sprockets. Sprockets. Best German television presents Sprockets. Meet your host, Dieter.
00:15Welcome to Sprockets. I am your host, Dieter.
00:19Then it is springtime, and like the blood-engorged gazelles at the Garmisch-Partenkirchen Zoo, I'm ready to rot.
00:29Well, the big news, of course, is that Euro-Disney opened in France to a storm of controversy.
00:35Some French critics called it disgusting, repellent, a cultural Chernobyl.
00:41But when I was there, I was as happy as a little girl.
00:46Joining us now for a comment is avant-garde filmmaker and irritant in residence at the Bremen Gallery of Modern
00:53Art.
00:53Please welcome Grouse Grek.
01:04Welcome to Sprockets, Krauss.
01:06Don't get in, Dieter.
01:08What is your take on Euro-Disney?
01:10I was so disgusted by Euro-Disney that I threatened it, gnaw at my own genitals like a small woodland
01:17creature in protest.
01:20Delicious.
01:21My disgust was such that I decided to develop a counterculture theme park as an alternative to Euro-Disney, so
01:28I designed Euro-Trash.
01:30Euro-Trash. Curious. Please, tell us more.
01:33Euro-Trash is a celebration of the repellent and painful in everyday European life.
01:38For example, Euro-Disney has Fantasyland. Euro-Trash has Ennui Village.
01:46Ennui Village is dedicated to the tedium of existence.
01:51Here is the ride called The Boring Teacups.
01:54Curious.
01:55Curious, yes.
01:56Euro-Disney has Frontierland.
01:58And we have Insane Frontierland.
02:02Insane Frontierland.
02:04Is that where they have the diseased bear jamboree?
02:10It is a collection of 30 or so black forest bears who have succumbed to a variety of malayses.
02:16Do they sing?
02:17For the most part, they convalesce.
02:19But once a month, they sing like bitches.
02:24European Freedom Land contains my favorite exhibit, It's a Sick World After All,
02:29in which audio-animatronic children in national costumes of every European nation frolic in tribute to the Danish kiddie porn
02:36industry.
02:39European Freedom Land contains the Syphilitic Museum.
02:45We're planning an interactive thing comprised of nothing but a collection of sores and lesions.
02:51Speaking of which, would you like to touch my monkey?
02:54Touch him!
02:55Love him!
02:56Leave him on earth, Smitty!
02:59It is safe, Klaus.
03:00Please touch, Klaus.
03:01Klaus.
03:02Klaus.
03:02Klaus.
03:03Oh.
03:06It took a while, but he is smitten with you, I can tell.
03:10Now this is a master stroke.
03:13Yes, it is called Poke at the Turk.
03:16It is a ride in which a Turkish migrant worker is poked at with sticks.
03:22Mmm, gorgeous.
03:24In addition to those rides, we have our own Euro-trash characters who roam the park to amuse and disturb
03:30the patrons,
03:31like Bim-Bim the Bastard, the lovable chain-smoking Oaf with greasy hair, and Simone the self-loathing jackal.
03:41Mmm, yes.
03:42Oh!
03:43Yabba-dabba-doo!
03:45Is that who I think it is?
03:46It's Fred Flintstone!
03:48Yes, we just closed the deal with Hanna-Barbera.
03:50I love Fred Flintstone!
03:53You know that I am a Hanna-Barbarian.
03:55Here we come on the run, bit of burger on the pond.
03:59Ah.
04:01As you can see, Euro-trash is much more awful than the culturally bankrupt Euro-Disney.
04:07And we're going to add...
04:08Your story has become tiresome.
04:10Now's the time on Spraket, let me dance!
04:12cau long-time!
04:16My guests have been planstration!
04:18My name is Dieter.
04:21Happy birthday!
04:22Happy birthday!
04:22Happy birthday!
04:29Happy birthday!
