00:01Sprockets, Sprockets, Best German Television presents Sprockets, with your host, Dieter.
00:15Welcome to Sprockets, I am your host, Dieter.
00:18This week we have a very special Christmas Sprockets.
00:21The feast of St. Nicholas, or as we also call it in Germany, Weihnachten,
00:25is a very special time, and this year it is especially gorgeous,
00:30as it is the very first united, unified German Christmas.
00:58I have a special moment.
01:02But at least these are the only ones who are in the country.
01:04It is great to see you in the world.
01:10It is the same, the wine and wine,
01:13the wine and wine and wine.
01:17In the world of Gatsby's life,
01:24it is the same.
01:24It is the same, the wine and wine and wine.
01:38Thank you very much.
01:43Well, it's Christmas, and I'm as happy as a little girl.
01:49What Christmas special would be complete without a visit from St. Nicholas?
01:53And here to play St. Nicholas is our first guest.
01:56He's the French star of Bavarian television's hit sitcom,
02:00Don't Put That Sausage In Your Mouth, Mrs. Niederlander.
02:04Please welcome Henri Koninkirka.
02:12Father Christmas.
02:14Father Christmas.
02:15Welcome to Sprockets.
02:17Thank you, Dieter.
02:19Well, Dieter, thank you for letting me play Father Christmas
02:22because it allows me the chance to tell all of you
02:25that Don't Put That Sausage In Your Mouth, Mrs. Niederlander,
02:28is moving to a new time period, Thursdays at 9.30.
02:32Hoi-ho-ho-ho.
02:36Hmm, you clog your show with the subtlety of a flying mallet.
02:42Anyways, don't you find the traditional German Christmas
02:45so tedious and bourgeois?
02:47Ah, but Dieter, have you forgotten the delight
02:50and satisfaction of putting on a freshly made Christmas meat helmet?
02:54You're right.
02:55I have become so jaded that someone should strike at my genitals
02:59with a toffee hammer.
03:01That would fix my wagon.
03:04So, tell me, Dieter,
03:06what was your Christmas like?
03:09Where did you get that photo?
03:11Here I am, sleeping with a lump of coal in my bed
03:14with a bowl of extremely hot barley soup
03:18balanced on my forehead, just so.
03:20Saint Nicholas, would you like to touch my monkey?
03:23Oui, oui.
03:24Touch him! Love him!
03:25Lieber my arm schminkie!
03:28Yes!
03:30Now this is a show on the go, go, go.
03:33Saint Nicholas,
03:35not all children get toys and marzipan.
03:37No, if you have been naughty,
03:39then you are paid a visit by my friend,
03:42the crazy moor, Black Pete.
03:46Yes, he will come and put you in a naughty child
03:50into a burlap bag
03:51and then beat you with reeds.
03:53And here to play Black Pete
03:55is the star of Bavarian's television hit detective show,
03:58Black American with a gun.
04:01Please welcome Paul Jones.
04:10Welcome to Spockets, Black Pete.
04:13First of all, the name is Pete.
04:16Just Pete.
04:17Understand?
04:17Somebody calls me Black Pete.
04:19Somebody don't feel so good.
04:22Your anger is delicious.
04:26Pete, if I was a naughty child,
04:29would you come in the night and punish me?
04:31That's right, man.
04:33I'd come and punish you.
04:34Yeah, that's right.
04:34I'd whip that ass.
04:36You know why?
04:36Because I'm Pete.
04:38That's right.
04:38And if you were to dish your parents,
04:40I'd smack your ass with a reed or something.
04:41You understand?
04:42Hmm, fascinating.
04:44You drive me insane.
04:47There, I am insane now.
04:51Can I just say something before I forget now?
04:54Now, I'm very happy to play the role of Pete
04:56year after year after year,
04:58being that I am the only black man in Germany.
05:03But, you know, I think I'm getting a little frustrated
05:06with this role.
05:06It's time for me to stretch.
05:07I'm a real actor.
05:08You understand?
05:09Yes.
05:10Henri, do you have anything else to add?
05:12No, not really.
05:13But I would like to remind you once again
05:16that my hit show,
05:17Don't Put That Sausage in Your Mouth,
05:19Mrs. Needlelander,
05:20can be seen now in our new time slot
05:22Thursdays at 9.30 following Roseanne.
05:25Oh, y'all.
05:27Hmm, Roseanne, that's a good lead-in.
05:29Now's the time on Sprocket when we dance.
05:35That's all the time we have.
05:36My guests have been Henri Coninkirca
05:38and Paul Jones.
05:38My name is Dieter Fröleischweinachden.
05:41Auf Wiedersehen.
