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Big Cat | Barstool Sports Advisors
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00:01Welcome to the Barstool Sports Advisory, America's premier sports information program, with Jersey Jerry, Dan Big Cat Caps, and the
00:17source, Stu Biner.
00:29Barstool Sports Advisors, week two!
00:32Two, one, two!
00:33Week two, we are back.
00:35So back!
00:36We are back.
00:37We got Stu.
00:38We got Jerry.
00:39We've got Hannah on weather.
00:42Hello, Hannah!
00:44And then what the hell?
00:46Hannah on stat!
00:47Hannah!
00:48Oh my gosh!
00:49Oh my God!
00:50Now, the only thing better than one Hannah is two Hannahs.
00:54Two Hannahs.
00:55Shout out two Hannahs!
00:56And twins.
00:57All right, so here's the thing, though.
00:58I have to apologize to all of the people at home.
01:02Yes.
01:03I saw week one.
01:05Incredible numbers.
01:06That is the Bosco economy.
01:08Yes, yes.
01:09And we do not have Rico Bosco anymore this week.
01:12Well, thank God.
01:14Nothing.
01:14Let me say.
01:15For our sponsors and our numbers, he made the show, Stu.
01:18It was the highest week one ever.
01:20If Hannah was on, it would have been 500,000 views.
01:22Well, we'll find out.
01:23Now, Rico held us back with only 330,000.
01:27I have to say something about...
01:28Are you not a rider?
01:29I'm the biggest fucking rider.
01:31What are you kidding me?
01:32I shred the people I love the most.
01:34Mincy, Tank, Rico, Jersey Jerry.
01:39Those are my four number one people besides, you know, UPFT, Big Cat.
01:44You know, UPFT.
01:45You know, Hank.
01:46Hannah.
01:47Hannah.
01:48Well, all the women are above everyone, including you.
01:50Yeah.
01:50Here, let me say something to Rico.
01:52From the bottom of my heart, Rico, I want to say thank you.
01:56And you have no idea why I'm going to say thank you.
01:59You couldn't guess it for a trillion dollars.
02:02You couldn't guess it if you had like a crystal ball.
02:07You know what it is?
02:08I want to thank Rico's sister.
02:10No, no, no.
02:11Sup?
02:11No, no, no, no.
02:11Shout out, Rico's sister.
02:13You have no idea what I'm going to say.
02:14Shut your dirty fucking mouth.
02:17Rico's sister, thank you.
02:19And you know why I'm saying thank you to Rico's sister?
02:22Big Cat, because you have no idea.
02:23I used to wear this suit with a black shirt.
02:26And she said to Rico, who told me, hey.
02:31Okay.
02:31Rico came to me and said, Stu, my sis said you cannot wear a black shirt with this.
02:36It has to be white.
02:37And I wore the white because of Rico's sister.
02:40And I look great, by the way.
02:41I look fabulous.
02:41So Rico's sister, Rico's sister, excuse me.
02:44I love you, God bless her.
02:46Thank you, Rico's sister.
02:48Okay.
02:48What do you think about Rico?
02:50Like I said, I wake up Barstool Live this morning.
02:53He's a nobody.
02:54He's a non-factor.
02:56He quit the company three years ago, four years ago.
02:59And out of the goodness of his heart, Dave is carrying this bitch like the cunt he is.
03:04So every day he walks into here, he should get on his knees, suck Dave's cock, and get on his
03:10knees and say thank you there by the grace of God.
03:12Go out.
03:12Because that's who Rico is.
03:14He does numbers.
03:14He does numbers, though.
03:16That's your friend, Nicky Numbers.
03:17No, no.
03:18Rico does numbers.
03:19He does numbers only because of Dave retweeting him, reposting him on Dave's actual page.
03:25That's the bottom line.
03:26Okay.
03:27I mean, I disagree.
03:28I disagree.
03:28He's the Bosco economy.
03:30All right.
03:30So that's just a puffery, a scam, a befoolery made for him because he's so insecure and so inadequate.
03:36Can I say this about Rico?
03:37First of all, you're gorgeous.
03:39I love you.
03:40And if I had a daughter, you would not go near.
03:44Never.
03:45With all the drugs you're on.
03:48I will say this.
03:49Stu, you look phenomenal.
03:51I was coming in.
03:51I don't look good.
03:52No, no, no.
03:53You look phenomenal today.
03:54I was coming into work today and your Uber black SUV pulled up in front of me.
03:59I was like, who the fuck is this?
04:00It's like, is that a professional athlete?
04:02And then it out pops.
04:03Stu, just looking like a million bucks.
04:06Well, let me tell you something.
04:07With Sandy, the king and queen of barstool?
04:09Right.
04:09Well, I have my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law, Karen and Thomas, in the back with Sandy.
04:12Hello, family.
04:15Friday, my third biopsy on my prostate.
04:19Hopefully, they're cutting away to see if I have cancer.
04:21What does that have to do with what I said?
04:22Well, because you're saying I look great.
04:24I don't feel great.
04:25And then the following week, I'm going to three cardiologist appointments.
04:28They think I'm all blocked up and I'm a ticking time bomb that I could die any moment.
04:33I said to the doctor.
04:34Please don't die.
04:35No, no, two separate things.
04:36I'm fighting cancer on one end and I'm fighting the cardiologist on the other end.
04:41I could die, but I look great.
04:44But you have surreal strength.
04:45I do, but it might have caught up with me.
04:47I'm 65.
04:48Are you going to a psycho lunch today?
04:50Well, today we're going on the boat ride.
04:52Yeah.
04:53We're going to smoke a big blunt after the show.
04:54Who's going?
04:55Psycho breakfast.
04:56See Sandy, Thomas and Karen.
04:58Psycho breakfast.
05:00Psycho breakfast.
05:00I'm going to have the omelet, I have the pancakes, I have the hash browns, I have the fruit cup.
05:04Nothing.
05:06Cancer, heart attack just got mentioned.
05:08Yes.
05:09Well, I mean, that's for anyone who's 65.
05:11That's next week.
05:11Next week is doctor.
05:12No, no.
05:12Friday, I get cut.
05:14Okay, okay.
05:14And then the following.
05:15You get cut?
05:16They're cutting a piece of my prostate to see if it's cancer.
05:19They're going to look at him and go, are you cancer?
05:21Do you think you have cancer?
05:22Are you human?
05:23Do you think you have cancer?
05:25No.
05:26Okay.
05:27No.
05:27I hope not.
05:28But they caught it early.
05:30Fun fact, I think 90% of males die with prostate cancer.
05:33That's not a fun fact.
05:34Well, bad fact.
05:35Yeah, that's a bad fact.
05:36Sad fact.
05:37Listen, if I died at 30, I had the best life possible.
05:3980%.
05:40So I've been 35 years living, you know, on the come.
05:43So I'm good.
05:43Don't die.
05:44I don't want to die.
05:45Nobody's going to die.
05:46No one's going to die.
05:47Well, we all are going to die.
05:48Will you do a good speech?
05:49At your funeral?
05:51Yes.
05:51Absolutely.
05:52Okay.
05:52100%.
05:52I'll fucking lie.
05:53Because I'm no longer friends with Dave Portnoy.
05:56I will.
05:56I will.
05:56So I want you to lead off and then you second.
05:59Is that all right?
06:00Back to back?
06:00Yeah.
06:01Okay.
06:01I'll rip the casket open and I'll be like, I'm going with him.
06:03That would be, will you blow me?
06:04No, I'll lay on top of you.
06:06You'll like grind me with your ass?
06:07We'll go penis to penis.
06:08We'll dock.
06:09Penis.
06:09Big cat in dead Stu's body with big cat grinding on my penis.
06:13I didn't say grind, I said penis to penis.
06:15Do me a favor, look at my penis because you'll be impressed.
06:17Okay.
06:18I will.
06:18You'll see what all the fuss was about.
06:19I just want to say that.
06:20There is a lot of fuss.
06:22Okay.
06:22A lot of fuss.
06:23A lot of fuss.
06:23All right.
06:25Last week, week one, we all were back.
06:27Listen, week one is a tough week in the NFL.
06:30This is where those two and four.
06:32I was two and four.
06:32I was two and four.
06:33Being terrible last week.
06:34I was two and four.
06:35You were two and four, Jerry.
06:37Stu, you were one and four.
06:38Trash.
06:39I got to say something.
06:40I am, I don't know what it is.
06:43You know, like, I just was put on this earth to just be wrong about every gambling pick I've
06:48ever made.
06:49I got up on Sunday morning, week one, and I said to myself, hey, dude, you fuck this
06:55up every year.
06:56You love betting overs.
06:57You bet the over in week one, and every offense looks like shit, and all the teams come out
07:03slow.
07:03So I said, let's be smart.
07:05I'm going to bet all the unders.
07:06It was the most points scored in NFL history in a week one.
07:10Unbelievable.
07:11I'm such a fucking moron.
07:13That's also why I should never bet unders, because guess what?
07:15It's just the worst thing you could do.
07:17You got 20 more weeks.
07:18The game.
07:18To redeem.
07:19No, no, no, no.
07:20You got 21 weeks to redeem.
07:21It's early.
07:21It's early, and I'm bad.
07:23I'm hit.
07:23I'm hit hard.
07:23Can I add one more little thing?
07:25I've never come out hot.
07:25I've never come out of the gates well.
07:27I've never come out of the gates being like, this is my season.
07:30I always come out.
07:31Call your bets back.
07:32I fucking slice my Achilles.
07:34I hit, someone hits my hammy.
07:35I get hit over the head, and then I stand back up, and I'm like, all right, I got to
07:38make
07:39it.
07:39I got to, it's week two.
07:40All right, can I, can we stop at the poor me, big cat?
07:42No, I'm not.
07:43It's not the poor me.
07:4359 points, your Bears, and I said we'd win the Super Bowl, 59 points.
07:47You got to be happy about that.
07:48I, listen, I'm not saying poor me.
07:50Right.
07:50I have a lot of money.
07:51Yes.
07:51I'm just losing a lot of money.
07:52You have a lot of money.
07:53Yeah, but I'm also losing a lot of money.
07:55But I'm losing it.
07:56Well, that's how it goes when you get it.
07:57A rapid fashion.
07:59Let me add one thing.
08:00Mike and Alana's wedding.
08:02Okay.
08:02In Newport, Rhode Island.
08:03Oh, yeah, Grinelli.
08:04Unbelievable.
08:05Incredible.
08:05Best wedding ever.
08:06Alana and the most beautiful bride ever.
08:08Hung out with Whitney.
08:10Hung out with Biz.
08:11It was, what?
08:14I can't say what we did.
08:15But we did a lot.
08:16And it was just amazing.
08:17Did you dance?
08:18Her friends, her family, it was amazing.
08:19Did you dance?
08:20Yes, I did.
08:21Me and Sandy danced.
08:22Sandy's an amazing dancer, by the way.
08:24She is so sexy on the dance floor.
08:26I have to, when we're up grinding, I have to pull away.
08:30Did you get a boner?
08:31100%.
08:31Yeah.
08:32I could see you get a boner.
08:33And a little tip of cum came to the top of the penis.
08:36On Grinelli's dance floor?
08:37Yeah.
08:38You had a little pre-cum?
08:39Because one of my pee-pees, my pee split in like a million areas, and I peed next to
08:43the, I almost peed on the two people next to me.
08:46Just remember this, Grinelli.
08:46The cum was on the tip of the pee-pee.
08:48Yeah.
08:49Beautiful wedding.
08:49Just remember, Stu had a little pre-cum on your dance floor.
08:52Pre-cum.
08:53Just a-
08:53Shout out premature ejaculation.
08:54I invented that.
08:57I invented it.
08:58Sorry, Sam.
08:59Any other-
09:00Sorry, honey.
09:01No, it's okay.
09:02I think it's more sorry-
09:04Well, no, I'm saying sorry for having, being a premature ejaculating man.
09:07Oh, I think you're saying sorry for saying that, because I see, I just kind of looked
09:11over and I saw her shaking her head and her sister shaking her head.
09:14Yeah, they were mortified.
09:15Yeah, that's-
09:15They're red right now.
09:17Yeah, not great.
09:18Shout out red!
09:19We'll get some psycho, psycho breakfast to fix that.
09:22Any other shout outs?
09:23Um, shout out Andrew and Lauren, because I'm no longer a virgin.
09:30No longer a virgin.
09:31My first Airbnb of my life.
09:34I'm in an Airbnb for the first time ever.
09:36But you're shouting out the people you rented an Airbnb to?
09:38Yes, Andrew and Lauren!
09:40No, that's-
09:40What?
09:40Never met them.
09:41But I'm in their house.
09:43Sandy will not have sex with me, because it's an Airbnb.
09:45Oh my God.
09:45She will not have sex with me.
09:46Why are you in an Airbnb?
09:48Mexico independence.
09:48Why?
09:49Because there's not a hotel room in Chicago this week.
09:51They're having some conventions, then they've got this Mexican parade on Sunday.
09:56It's crazy.
09:57Got it.
09:57Not one hotel room to be found in Chicago.
10:00But you know you don't have to shout out the people you're doing an Airbnb from, because
10:02they're just taking your money.
10:03I'm never going to be at an Airbnb again.
10:05But they're taking your money.
10:05Trust me, it's a one and done.
10:07Okay.
10:07But I invited Andrew and Lauren to my house to swim, party, smoke, do crack, coke, whatever.
10:12No, their house?
10:13No, they're coming to my house.
10:14Oh, okay.
10:15You should do an Airbnb for them.
10:16You think so?
10:17You switch it, yeah.
10:18I might buy that Airbnb.
10:19Nice.
10:20It's between $600 and $800, and I'm pretty flush right now.
10:22Okay.
10:24I'm thinking of calling them out, because I don't know if that's ever done.
10:27Does someone ever stay at the Airbnb and then buy the Airbnb?
10:29I'm sure.
10:30I might do that.
10:31Yeah.
10:31I asked Sandy.
10:32I might do it.
10:33Okay.
10:33Shout out, my money is flush.
10:36Flush.
10:37My pound is dry.
10:38Let's get to...
10:39How much money I got?
10:40Not a lot.
10:41Not as much as him, more than him.
10:45Definitely.
10:47Definitely.
10:47I don't sell picks.
10:48I got $7 million flush in the bank right now.
10:50All right.
10:50Yeah, you got more than Jerry.
10:51You got more than Jerry.
10:52In the bank?
10:52Yeah.
10:53You got more than Jerry.
10:54Okay.
10:54A couple thousand, man.
10:55A couple of thousand.
10:55Okay.
10:56Gotcha.
10:56You got more than that.
10:57About a million.
10:59Two million.
11:01Well, your money's in Columbia right now.
11:03We don't know what he's got.
11:04It's in Columbia.
11:05He can't get his retirement money.
11:06I wish I was in Columbia.
11:07Okay.
11:08Let's get to the picks.
11:09Let's get to the slate.
11:09Let's start.
11:10With a big game.
11:13Jersey Jerry.
11:14Yes, yes, yes.
11:15The Pittsburgh Steelers going to the Ring with Patriots.
11:18Steelers are plus five and a half.
11:19Over under is 41 and a half.
11:20Let's start with the weather and Hannah.
11:23In Foxborough, Massachusetts, it's going to be 60 degrees with rain.
11:27Ooh, little rain, little rain.
11:29Little rainy.
11:29And what about the stats with also Hannah?
11:32In the Super Bowl era, the Steelers have been above three-point underdogs versus the Patriots
11:37in seven total games.
11:38Pittsburgh is 0-7 straight up and 1-6 against the spread in those games.
11:43Whoa.
11:43I like this outfit better than this outfit, by the way.
11:46I like you here better than here.
11:48Brady.
11:49I just want to say that.
11:49Love that outfit!
11:51Good, just not great.
11:52Okay.
11:54So, Jerry.
11:55Yeah.
11:55You said that this line was, like, crazy when it came out on Sunday night.
12:00Yeah, I thought it was a little wild.
12:01Plus five and a half, I thought it was a lot of points.
12:03So you think the Steelers are just, like, they're totally different than they've been
12:06in the last five years?
12:07I wouldn't say totally different, no.
12:08But you're buying it.
12:10I'm definitely buying the Steelers, yeah.
12:12But, like, I'm a little off this morning, I will say that.
12:14Gut shot.
12:15What happened?
12:15No, just a gut shot early.
12:17I'm trying to get my bear.
12:17What?
12:18I walked in, you know, we got Hank on house call today and just talking to him a little
12:23bit.
12:23And then he just said something.
12:25He was like, I rather...
12:26What did you say?
12:26What did I say?
12:27I don't remember.
12:28I don't remember what I said.
12:29That's the question about morals.
12:31What did I say?
12:33What was the question?
12:34I just remember your response.
12:36What was his response?
12:37If it was up to him, I wouldn't be on the show.
12:39Oh!
12:40Well, that goes without saying.
12:41It says that in front of your face, behind your back.
12:43I don't agree with that.
12:45The prop for my movie.
12:46Oh, yeah.
12:46I said save for the show.
12:48Oh.
12:48Yeah.
12:48Wait, he said save for the show?
12:50And then I said something, and then he said, I'd rather you not be on the show.
12:53You're squeezing me out.
12:54I was like, it brought up to me.
12:55If it was up to him, he brought up to me.
12:56Yeah.
12:56Anyway, I'm still trying to catch my bearings.
12:59Yeah, yeah.
13:00That's not a secret.
13:01I didn't know that.
13:02It's not a secret.
13:03Okay.
13:04I didn't know that.
13:04A lot of people behind your back don't like you.
13:06Oh, I know.
13:07To your face.
13:07They love you.
13:08Get your ass.
13:09I know that.
13:09I like Jerry on this show.
13:10You know, I also think Jerry, through two weeks, we obviously have to do streams this
13:14weekend, has been, he's answered the call.
13:16Yeah, absolutely.
13:17Listen, you know, one away.
13:18He's raised his game.
13:19That would have been massive.
13:20Yeah, he was great on the streams.
13:21Having engaged.
13:22Having fun.
13:23Yeah.
13:23Yeah.
13:23Listen, football's back.
13:24I'm excited.
13:25Listen, here's the deal, though.
13:26You better.
13:29I'm going at his dick.
13:31I'm going at his ass.
13:32I'm going at his neck this game.
13:34Yeah.
13:34He will not be able to breathe this game.
13:36I want him next to me in the game.
13:37Oh, yeah.
13:38I might kill him in the game.
13:39Front row.
13:39Front row.
13:40Front row.
13:41Hanky panky.
13:42Yeah.
13:42Really?
13:42Front row.
13:43I want him this week.
13:44Yeah.
13:45Having said that, I'm staying away from the Steelers plus five and a half.
13:50I'm staying away from this spread because I don't trust it.
13:53This spread should be a three-point spread.
13:55The stat you gave was the Brady era.
13:57Listen, last year, Pittsburgh played Patriots.
14:01Patriots fumbled the ball.
14:02What, five times, Hank?
14:03It was a disaster.
14:04They had five turnovers in.
14:06They were still in the fucking game.
14:08Yeah.
14:08They had the last drive of the game.
14:10They could have won the game.
14:10They didn't win the game.
14:11Steelers end up winning.
14:12I'm staying away from this spread.
14:13Do I think the Steelers are going to win?
14:16Yes, I do.
14:16But I'm going to take the over here, 41 and a half.
14:21I think Rodgers throwing the ball deep.
14:23I think he led the league eight-plus passes of 30 yards, I believe that was, or 25 yards.
14:29Led the league eight deep shots.
14:30I'm taking the over, 41 and a half.
14:33I love the over in this game.
14:35Ramond Jerry Stephenson is not going to be able to run the ball much, but I think Drake
14:38May could kill us with our legs.
14:40DK's going to catch on fire again.
14:42We're back.
14:4341 and a half.
14:44Over.
14:45Stu, I have to start with something because we missed doing this last week.
14:48Oh, we haven't even started.
14:49Oh.
14:49We have to start.
14:50Yes.
14:50Oh, wow.
14:50Not yet?
14:51It's going to happen.
14:53Nothing happened yet.
14:54Hey, are you going to let Hank talk to you like that?
14:56That's what I thought.
14:57That's what I fucking thought.
14:59You're the boss of this show, Stu.
15:01Stu, we're fire.
15:02Look at me.
15:02Look at me.
15:03Yes.
15:03Look at me.
15:04My mic is down here.
15:05Look at me.
15:06I'm fucking down.
15:08Yes.
15:09This is your show.
15:11Don't you ever fucking forget it.
15:13Okay, because I think what happens sometimes is these guys, these guys, when Rico's here,
15:19when Jerry talks about, oh, I can be kicked off, I can not, do I ever say anything different?
15:25Never.
15:25This is your show.
15:26You said you and me for life.
15:27But it's your show.
15:28You said if you quit Barstool, it's just you and me forever.
15:31But it's your show.
15:32Okay, so when he tells you to do something and not do something, fuck you, Hank.
15:36Okay.
15:37It's your show.
15:38Okay.
15:39Can I add one prop?
15:40Fuck you, Hank.
15:40Can I add a prop, please?
15:41Is that okay?
15:41Please.
15:42Well, ask Stu.
15:43It's his shirt.
15:43Okay.
15:43Can I add one prop to this game?
15:45Okay.
15:45All right.
15:46Yes, you can.
15:46So, all right.
15:48He can oversee me.
15:49He can overrule me.
15:50But I don't want to give the prop now.
15:52Give the prop.
15:52I thought he was on prop probation.
15:54Oh, yeah.
15:54You're on prop probation.
15:55What am I?
15:56From the last year.
15:57Give the prop doesn't count.
15:58Give the prop doesn't count.
15:59Doesn't count.
16:00Doesn't count.
16:00Does not count.
16:01Off the record or on the lead?
16:02It's a lead.
16:03It's off the record.
16:03It's off the record.
16:04It's redacted.
16:05Rico Dattel touchdown.
16:06Okay.
16:07Redacted.
16:12Blow out the Pittsburgh Steelers.
16:14Yeah.
16:14Wow.
16:14The Steelers are not good.
16:16They're mediocre.
16:17They're 9-8, 8-9, maybe 10-7.
16:21They'll go into the playoffs and get crushed week one in the playoffs.
16:25You know this.
16:25I mean.
16:26You do know this.
16:26You know this.
16:27The Patriots' defense stood on their head.
16:31Great Patriot defense.
16:32I don't see two bad games in a row for Drake.
16:35I think that's actually impossible.
16:37I think the Steelers, quarterbacks, and secondary, if they don't put pressure on Drake, it's going
16:42to be a long game.
16:42I'm looking for 28-3 at the half.
16:44A round.
16:45It's all New England.
16:4628-3.
16:47A burial.
16:48It's all New England.
16:49I hate this game.
16:52I mean, they're begging you to take Pittsburgh.
16:54I know, and I don't want to, because I do tend to agree with Stu here, and I just gave
16:59the speech that I'm not taking unders anymore, but I would lean under in this game.
17:03Really?
17:04Well, your offense stinks.
17:07I mean, there was flat.
17:08I mean, if we got called on a couple pass interferences that weren't called, we'd score
17:1230 points.
17:1420 and 13.
17:1513, yeah.
17:15You scored 13 points against the Atlanta Falcons.
17:18And you were holding on for dear life at the end of the game.
17:20Right.
17:20Dear life.
17:21Our defense played really well.
17:22Our defense played really well.
17:23They did.
17:23They did.
17:24No, they did.
17:25Our defense is going to be really good this year.
17:26They are.
17:27What's the first half total?
17:28What's the first half total?
17:29Give me the first half total.
17:30I'd say 20 and a half, really.
17:32Fuck, man.
17:33I hate this.
17:34I hate this sport sometimes.
17:35I just hate this game.
17:37It's a tough game.
17:38It's a tough game.
17:38I do think that, I don't know if the Patriots without A.J. Brown are worth.
17:41That's what I'm saying.
17:42Why is that spread that?
17:43They should be five and a half, but also the Steelers are a sucker play.
17:49Under 41 and a half, I'll do it.
17:50Under 20 and a half first half.
17:52Just that.
17:53Okay.
17:53Because then I'm out of the game.
17:54I don't want to be part of this game.
17:56I want to get into halftime.
17:57Get out.
17:57And then be out.
17:58That's fair.
17:58Be out of this game.
17:59That's fair.
18:00Under 20 and a half first half.
18:01Okay, next game.
18:02I love this game.
18:03I have a thought on this game.
18:05Bengals at Texans.
18:07Overrunners 46 and a half.
18:09Bengals plus three.
18:12Ashley.
18:13Stats.
18:16Hannah.
18:17I was looking at weather.
18:18I thought Ashley.
18:19Hannah.
18:19Sorry.
18:20Fuck.
18:20That was a fuck up.
18:22It's okay.
18:22That was a fuck up.
18:23Oh, good.
18:23Everybody makes mistakes.
18:24You're forgiven.
18:25That was a...
18:26It's okay.
18:27Insan...
18:27No, it's fine.
18:28I'm so embarrassed.
18:29It's okay.
18:30We're fine.
18:31It's okay.
18:32Proceed, Hannah.
18:33Thanks.
18:34Ashley.
18:35No, Hannah, what?
18:36Jerry, how do you fuck that up, dude?
18:38Fuck that up, dude?
18:39How do you fuck that up?
18:40Jesus.
18:41Oh, all right, Hannah.
18:42Please, stop.
18:42Okay.
18:43CJ Stroud is 0-7 against the spread in the first two games of the regular season.
18:48The worst any QB...
18:49Wait.
18:50The worst for any QB in the Super Bowl era.
18:52Ooh.
18:53Okay.
18:54How about Hannah for the weather?
18:56In Houston, Texas, it's going to be partly sunny and 92.
19:00Can you do a little something, Hank, when you're doing this?
19:03Like, come on.
19:04Yeah.
19:05Just do a little spin.
19:05No, no, no.
19:06Quigs, make sure a little of that's in.
19:08Because that's bullshit.
19:09You don't give any...
19:10Show us your ass.
19:11Just give us a little bit of something when you're doing it.
19:15Just a little.
19:15Pull your shirt down a little bit.
19:17Yeah.
19:17Grab your cock.
19:19A little...
19:20All right.
19:21I love this game.
19:22Go.
19:24I'm looking at the sheets.
19:25See, I...
19:25We disagree, but let's have it.
19:27Let's talk about it.
19:28Let's talk about it.
19:28Let's talk about it.
19:29I think everyone's going to love the Texans here because they lost week one.
19:32It's not showing that.
19:33Yeah.
19:33Oh, okay.
19:34Okay.
19:34It's not showing that.
19:35Texans week one.
19:37CJ Stroud played a lot better.
19:39Much better.
19:39I have to say.
19:40Played a lot better.
19:41I was very impressed with the Bengals, though.
19:43I think the Bengals actually have figured out, like, hey, we can't just be getting into shootouts.
19:48We can't just be this team that doesn't play defense.
19:51They had a good defensive effort.
19:52Joe Burrow is under center, using his legs.
19:54I like the three here.
19:56I'm going to take the three here.
19:57I think this is a field goal game.
19:59At worst, at very worst, I push.
20:00I like the Bengals plus three.
20:02I understand there's desperation for the Texans, but I'm taking the Bengals plus three.
20:05Go ahead, Stu.
20:07I just think the Texans' D will just rise to the occasion here.
20:10They got shredded last week.
20:11Josh Allen looked like God.
20:13Looked like the best quarterback in the NFL.
20:14I mean, he torched them.
20:16Even when, you know, but as we know, I mean, the Texans were right there to win the game.
20:21Yeah.
20:21At the end of the game.
20:22Yeah.
20:22That was a great game.
20:24That was a playoff preview.
20:25That could be the AFC championship.
20:28Literally what you saw there.
20:30I don't know if the Bengals are all the way back yet.
20:32I like the Bengals, but I think Texans win the game.
20:35Win the game.
20:36Win the game.
20:36Win the game.
20:37Okay.
20:37Easily.
20:38But I'm getting three points.
20:39I think they win by between 14 to 700.
20:44All right.
20:45Three points is kind of irrelevant.
20:46Irrelevant.
20:47Jerry.
20:48I'm going to take the under in this game.
20:49Whoa.
20:50Yeah.
20:50I'm going to take the under.
20:51I'm going to take the under.
20:51I think the Texans, I know they gave up a lot of points last week.
20:54I think their defense is going to bounce back.
20:56I love them in this spot.
20:58I do agree with you, though.
20:59I think the Bengals are going to stick around in this game here.
21:02I think their offensive line looked great as well.
21:04And their defense was surprising.
21:05Yes.
21:05Their defense was surprising.
21:06I'm hoping I need them to show up again in week two for me to hit this under.
21:11But I think this is going to be a grueling game.
21:12I think Chase Brown, they're going to give him the ball a bunch.
21:15Which Jamar Chase, kind of a non-factor week one, along with T. Higgins.
21:19They'll probably get him a little bit involved more.
21:21But, I mean, they're going up against a really fucking good Texans defense.
21:25I'm going to take the under here, 46 and a half.
21:27I'm playing totals right now.
21:29In Joe Burrow's career, he's 19 and four against the spread when his team closes
21:32as an underdog of three points or more.
21:35Great stat.
21:36Great stat.
21:37Great stat.
21:38That's a good stat.
21:38All right.
21:39Last game before we take a break.
21:42I also love this game.
21:43So, everything I said for game one where I was like, hey, I don't know why I want to
21:47be out of this game.
21:48Commanders and Cowboys.
21:49Commanders plus four and a half.
21:50Over-under is 50 and a half.
21:53Stu.
21:54Cowboys can't look worse.
21:57They look disheveled.
21:58All the hype in preseason.
22:00All the hype about the moves that they made.
22:02Head coach is on the same page with the defensive coordinator.
22:04It's on the same page with the offensive coordinator.
22:06It's on the same page with the offensive line coach.
22:09The defensive line coach.
22:10No, you're not.
22:12No, you're not, Cowboys.
22:14But I saw nothing from the Commanders.
22:17Zero.
22:18Zero.
22:18That team's going to win five games this year.
22:20I feel bad for PFT.
22:21There are five and 12 all the way.
22:23Cowboys win by 35.
22:25It's a rout.
22:27It's a blowout.
22:29Cowboys by 35.
22:30All Dallas.
22:31This is their game.
22:33They draw the line in the sand.
22:34This is where their season starts.
22:36Okay.
22:37Let's do, let's check weather with Hannah.
22:40Oh.
22:41Oh.
22:42Hannah.
22:43I feel so bad.
22:45I feel so bad.
22:47Partly sunny and 96.
22:49Woo.
22:49Yeah.
22:50Good job.
22:51Hannah.
22:52Looking good.
22:53Hannah.
22:53All right.
22:55Hannah.
22:56Oh, my God.
22:57The Cowboys are 20-1 straight up and 17-4 against the spread as a home favorite in division
23:03games over the last 10 seasons.
23:06Covering by nine points per game.
23:08Shout out to Stuart Hatto.
23:09We're on the same page.
23:10Let's go.
23:11Let's go.
23:12Shout out.
23:12Shout out.
23:14Jerry.
23:14Great bod, Hank.
23:16Great bod, Hank.
23:17We have really good bod.
23:19Kill for a bod like that.
23:20If I had a vagina, it'd be wet right now and on your face.
23:23Really nice.
23:24Oh, absolutely.
23:24Shout out.
23:25That's a bod that you need.
23:26He's a stud.
23:26You can go places with that bod.
23:27Did you see the...
23:29I mean, I'll never get...
23:30Yeah, I'll never get that.
23:32I'll never come close.
23:33But, I mean, when the guys have that, it's nice.
23:35Oh, it's over.
23:36It's lights out.
23:37It's a nice touch.
23:37You got no chance.
23:38It's a nice touch.
23:38Mine's just round.
23:39We're talking about the V.
23:40Yeah, the V.
23:40You got the V.
23:41Yeah, yeah.
23:42Yeah.
23:43I just got the fat.
23:45Yeah.
23:45Fat.
23:46I actually do...
23:47I could have the V if I lost about 50 pounds.
23:50Oh, yeah.
23:50Me too.
23:50Yeah, look.
23:51I could have the V.
23:53Like, I could have the V.
23:54Well, you kind of have the V.
23:55Yeah, I could have the V.
23:56I kind of have the V.
23:56I just got to lose a lot of weight.
23:57A lot of weight.
23:58That's all right.
23:58Yeah.
23:59Actually, no, I'm thinking that the V's overrated.
24:01Yeah, you know what?
24:01I don't want the V.
24:02I don't want the V.
24:03I'm passing on the V.
24:03I don't want the V.
24:04Because F-words have the V.
24:06And I'm not an F-word.
24:08Fuckers.
24:09Fuckers have the V.
24:10I'm not a fucker.
24:11Reverse cowgirl works the best with the V.
24:13Right.
24:14Reverse cowgirl works the best with the V.
24:17Absolutely.
24:17You just say F-words now?
24:18I said fuckers.
24:20Okay.
24:20Say the word.
24:21No, I don't say the word.
24:22I don't say that word.
24:23No, no.
24:23No, no.
24:23That's a bad word.
24:24Listen, I'm with you, though.
24:25This game, I'm with you.
24:26I feel so bad.
24:27Listen, I feel so bad for Eric.
24:28I really do.
24:30He keeps bringing up this.
24:32You know the stat he keeps bringing up?
24:33What?
24:34The, oh, this reporter, 31st in the league.
24:38Yeah, he's obsessed with the power rankings.
24:40He's obsessed with that power ranking.
24:41I'm like, brother.
24:42Someone power ranked him 31st.
24:44Yeah.
24:44And I'm saying to myself, I never told him this yet, but he just keeps bringing this up.
24:48I'm like, brother.
24:48Stop talking about it.
24:50Let it go.
24:50Because if you get to a point where they are the 31st worst team, you look like a fucking idiot.
24:56Yeah.
24:57They're, I mean, they're going to get crumpled this game.
25:00I mean, they're going to get pissed on so bad.
25:03I feel, and I like, and I like Jaden Daniels.
25:06I like the guy.
25:07He looked so bad.
25:09Hank, you were right.
25:09I mean, he looked, he looked like a crumb.
25:12He looked like a crumb.
25:14That defense.
25:16What type of crumb?
25:17A crumb bum.
25:18Okay.
25:19That defense is dog shit.
25:21Their pass rush is not good.
25:22And the sad part is here.
25:24He's going to go into this game and say, oh, I lost to the Eagles by two points.
25:27We could beat the Cowboys.
25:29Wrong go.
25:31Not going to happen.
25:32This is a route.
25:33This is, this is, this is, this is, this is Cowboys four and a half.
25:37This is Cowboys six and a half.
25:38This is Cowboys nine and a half.
25:39They are going to bury this team.
25:41Give me the boys.
25:42Okay.
25:42I came into this game loving the over.
25:45So put that on my card.
25:46That's, that's just there.
25:47Love that.
25:48When I sit here and these two guys tell me it's an absolute route for the Cowboys, you
25:55have to take the commanders.
25:57I had no plan on taking the commanders in this game.
25:59I didn't want to take the commanders.
26:01I kind of agree with some of the things they're saying, but there's just no way you can come
26:05in and both these guys say that it's a route by a thousand points and not be like, well,
26:10guess what?
26:11My hands are tied.
26:12I'm going commanders.
26:13Commanders and over.
26:14It's no offense.
26:15It's no offense.
26:17Lunch.
26:18Lunch.
26:18If the commander's covered, but I, I don't have to go to the launch.
26:22You have to pay for it.
26:23I'll pay for the launch, but I'm not going to the launch.
26:25You don't have to go.
26:26Okay.
26:26We just want your money.
26:27Okay.
26:28All right.
26:28Lunch.
26:29Maple and Ash.
26:30I'm not going.
26:31I know, but I get it.
26:32Maple and Ash.
26:33Three hundred and a half.
26:34You just tell me.
26:34I'm really three people.
26:36Twelve hundred dollars.
26:36I'll go to lunch.
26:37We'll do lunch.
26:38We'll do lunch.
26:39We'll do lunch.
26:39The three of us.
26:40Lunch.
26:40And what's the line?
26:41Four and a half.
26:42Four and a half.
26:43Four and a half.
26:43Four and a half.
26:43Four and a half.
26:44Lunch.
26:44Lunch.
26:45What's the lunch?
26:45Four Grey Goose martinis at Maple and Ash once the Cowboys win.
26:50It might be breakfast.
26:50It might be breakfast.
26:51Four Grey Goose martinis.
26:53I'll go.
26:54Can we do breakfast?
26:55What are you drinking in the morning?
26:56Margarita.
26:56Can we do breakfast?
26:57We can do breakfast.
26:58Because I have to do brunch.
26:59What are you?
27:00Bloody Marys.
27:00Four Bloody Marys tall.
27:03Brunch is.
27:03I don't even know if that's a thing.
27:05Brunch is.
27:05Lunch is tough for me because I got the app.
27:07Whatever you say.
27:08All right.
27:08Breakfast is nice.
27:09Whatever you say.
27:10We can go to hot yoga.
27:11All right, Hannah.
27:12Ready?
27:14Nice catch.
27:16I love.
27:17Yeah.
27:18I love the commanders now.
27:19You guys are fucking morons.
27:20Yeah, we're morons.
27:21Yeah, we're morons.
27:22Yeah, just.
27:22Just wait.
27:23Just wait.
27:23Take the Black American Express card.
27:26Okay, just wait.
27:26Just wait.
27:27Just wait.
27:28400 each.
27:29You better come to fucking eat.
27:30I am, I will.
27:31All right, and I'm bringing the eight ball.
27:32Okay, done.
27:33Then we're not going to spend $400 on food.
27:35I eat when I'm, I eat faster when I'm on cocaine.
27:38That's just not true.
27:38That's all I do.
27:39Well, you'll watch.
27:40You'll see.
27:40That's not true.
27:41You can't eat on that stuff, right?
27:42No, you can't.
27:43I can.
27:44No, you can't.
27:44Absolutely.
27:45No.
27:45You eat like.
27:46I eat faster on cocaine.
27:48No, no.
27:48I thought you don't eat on cocaine.
27:49What's wrong with your ears?
27:51You do not.
27:51Send it four times.
27:52You do not eat.
27:53I do.
27:55Go to the Vegas dinner at Max's bachelor party.
27:58I don't think one piece of food was touched.
28:00And I would say that Coke was cut with amphetamines.
28:03Okay, here we go.
28:04It was a cure.
28:06When we come back, we're going to catch the last two games.
28:10We're back right after this.
28:12Barstool Sports Advisors.
28:14In action.
28:15In action.
28:16In action.
28:26Barstool Special.
28:28Barstool Special.
28:30Week 2 of Barstool Sports Advisors.
28:32Now, last week, we went 1 and 2.
28:34A rare losing Barstool Special.
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28:39Three best bets.
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28:44If you go to StuFinder.com right now,
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29:05Go 3-0 today.
29:06And we're running with a 13-5, 13-5, 13-5.
29:11Barstool winning record.
29:13Let's fucking go.
29:14Three best bets.
29:16StuFinder.com.
29:18StuFinder.com.
29:19Only $69.
29:22StuFinder.com.
29:25What is this?
29:26A new shaver?
29:28Yeah, the lawnmower from the...
29:30Oh, can I get one of these?
29:31Yeah, yeah.
29:32I think her name is Sammy.
29:34Can you shave your dick with this in your bowls?
29:37No, not with that.
29:38No.
29:40Oh, yeah, you can.
29:40That's what it's for, though.
29:41Oh, it is.
29:42Okay.
29:43You go full shave or you go...
29:45What do you do?
29:46I've never shaved my dick or my bowls in my life.
29:48Really?
29:49Never.
29:49Wow.
29:50Not once ever.
29:51Damn, that's interesting.
29:52We're hair.
29:53Me and Sandy.
29:54We're hair.
29:55And then what happens is if hair ever goes in either of our mouths, we...
30:05I'm not even listening right now.
30:07Mincy's still in his boot.
30:08He's got a month more in his boot.
30:10No.
30:10A month?
30:11Swear to God.
30:12Another month?
30:13Swear to God.
30:14Oh, my God.
30:15They're going to have to operate.
30:17Oh, my God.
30:18I got...
30:19This guy is such a bum.
30:21Oh, my God.
30:22Fucking sprained his ankle.
30:23He's never going to walk again.
30:24Oh, my God.
30:25All right, here we go.
30:26Another month.
30:27Barstool Sports Advisors, we are back.
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31:23Okay, boys.
31:25Jaguars and Broncos.
31:26Jaguars and Broncos.
31:27Broncos minus 2.5.
31:28Over under is 45.5.
31:30This one is actually very important with the weather,
31:32so I'm going to start there.
31:34And Hannah.
31:35In Denver, Colorado, it's light rain and 72 degrees.
31:39Hmm.
31:39That was a little zest in there.
31:41Yeah, that was a little zest.
31:42Hold on, Hannah.
31:43A little zest.
31:44Shout out, Hannah.
31:45He's one of those fuckers.
31:46A little sugar in the tank, huh?
31:48$3 bill.
31:50$3 bill.
31:53Ah, Hannah.
31:55The Jaguars are 4-0 against the first half spread
31:58as a road underdog over the last two seasons.
32:01Okay, boys.
32:02Speaking of $3 bills, have you seen...
32:03I know he doesn't work here anymore.
32:05The guy, Joey Camasta, incredible shape.
32:08Have you seen this guy?
32:09Oh, no, I haven't.
32:10Yeah, I mean, I was on...
32:12Have you seen a picture?
32:12It was on Facebook.
32:13I mean, obviously, he's got to be on either of us.
32:14Well, he's on the GLPs, but, like, he looks thin as the rail.
32:17He looks good.
32:18I'll find out for that.
32:18Yeah, let me see.
32:19He's a good-looking guy.
32:21Great-looking guy.
32:22He even looks better now.
32:23I don't care if you're gay, straight, whatever.
32:26No, no, yeah.
32:26Good-looking is good-looking.
32:27Dude, he looks incredible.
32:28All right, hold on, hold on, hold on.
32:29Joey Camasta, look at this, look at this.
32:30Look at this pic.
32:32Okay.
32:32Look at this, look at this.
32:33Look at the body.
32:34Great body.
32:34Oh, damn.
32:35Yeah, like, he's like...
32:36Yeah.
32:37Whoa, look at that one.
32:37That's what I'm saying.
32:38Thirst straps, right?
32:39Shout out Joey.
32:40Yeah, shout out Joey, man.
32:41Way to go, dude.
32:42Yeah.
32:42Yeah.
32:43I think Joey looks like you if you actually lost weight.
32:46Like, if you were on point, like, if you were, like, 35 pounds less and you were male model,
32:50you'd look just like Joey.
32:52And gay.
32:53You have the same features.
32:54Yeah.
32:55Great hair.
32:56I have a theory.
32:56Great eyes.
32:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:57Joey, he also looks like Joey.
32:59Yeah, a little bit.
33:00You do?
33:01That's what people say.
33:01No way.
33:02I mean, I'm fat, but I'm just saying.
33:03He looks like a fat, like, chug.
33:06Yeah, I have a theory also.
33:08Gay Pat, not gay.
33:11Oh, why?
33:12It's a phase?
33:14I had Numbers ask him some questions when they met up in the New York office.
33:17Numbers came back.
33:19Do you like fucking pussy?
33:21What did he ask him?
33:21Numbers said he loves pussy.
33:24Like, he loves it.
33:24Like, Numbers was talking to him.
33:26I was like, yo, I have a theory, Nicky.
33:28He's not gay.
33:29He's not a gay guy.
33:30He's like, yeah, well, I'll find out when I go to the office.
33:32Nicky came out there.
33:33He said, call me.
33:33He said, Jerry, not gay.
33:35I can't.
33:35I actually, and you know I love you.
33:38Yeah, of course.
33:38Okay.
33:39I can't think of a worse investigating duo than Jersey, Jerry, and Mickey Numbers.
33:47I mean, that's fair.
33:47Like, the two guys, if you ask, hey, I need you to go find something out.
33:52They come back, they haven't found shit out.
33:55I have 12 conspiracy theories.
33:57Yeah.
33:58Yeah.
33:58That's fair.
33:59Okay, that's fair.
34:00But I'm sticking to Mike's theory.
34:01Yeah, that's fine.
34:02You stick with your facts.
34:04Joey.
34:04I would like to get a follow-up report from maybe someone who has half a brain.
34:09Let me ask you something.
34:09Yeah.
34:11You ever see gay Pat be gay?
34:14Like, kiss a man or put a dick in a butt?
34:17No, no, no, no, no.
34:18No, no.
34:19You ever see him be gay?
34:22Yeah.
34:22I mean, he is gay.
34:25I'll say it again.
34:27Stu.
34:28Yes.
34:29That was your guest.
34:29Jerry and I are having a very important discussion about gay Pat not being gay.
34:33Was that Tom?
34:34Was that Tom?
34:35That was Tom.
34:35Was that Tom?
34:36That was Pat calling in and saying he is gay.
34:38Okay.
34:40That was the Pat gay hotline that I have.
34:43I've never seen him do one thing of zest.
34:45Nothing.
34:46What do you mean zest?
34:47What are you talking about?
34:47He doesn't have, like, a lisp.
34:50He doesn't talk with a zest.
34:51He doesn't have a lisp!
34:52He doesn't have a lisp?
34:52We have to cut that.
34:54That has to be cut.
34:54No, that doesn't have to be cut.
34:55No, I'm just saying.
34:56He doesn't have to be a lisp!
34:59I have never seen him be gay.
35:01Ever.
35:01He's, like...
35:02You know why?
35:03Because you're not gay, you juice fan.
35:04You jerk off.
35:05You're not gay!
35:06Do you suck dick?
35:07I have friends who are gay.
35:08I don't care!
35:09Do you suck dick?
35:10Do you have...
35:11Shut up!
35:12I'm calling him.
35:13What are you talking about?
35:14What?
35:14I'm calling him.
35:15You've never seen him be gay?
35:16Hold on!
35:16Shut up!
35:17I've got uncles that are gay.
35:18I know gay.
35:18Shut up.
35:20I'm going to ask him what the gayest thing he's ever done.
35:22Fair.
35:25He's not picking up.
35:26He did out and about yesterday.
35:27He should pick up.
35:29You've got to schedule it.
35:31You're not trying to bow.
35:32Okay.
35:33Okay.
35:33Well, maybe he'll call back.
35:34Hopefully he'll call back.
35:35Hopefully he'll call back.
35:35All right.
35:35Jaguars-Broncos.
35:37How do we get there?
35:39I don't know.
35:39Kamasa.
35:40Oh, Kamasa?
35:41But how do we get to Kamasa?
35:42Thomas, Karen, Sandy.
35:43Are our fucking phones off by the way now?
35:45Are they going to go off during the segment?
35:47I want to say right now, that was performative of me.
35:49I do not care that the phone rang.
35:50I do not care the phone rang.
35:52I want it on the record.
35:53Don't worry, Sandy.
35:54I want it on the record.
35:55They're packing.
35:55That was me being performative.
35:56They're like locked up.
35:57They're packing up and they're getting to the airport.
35:59We don't care.
36:00I was joking.
36:01I was joking.
36:02Sorry for my family ringing.
36:03That was performative.
36:04Actually, put the ringer on high.
36:06I want to.
36:06Yeah.
36:07I don't want to hear it if someone calls you.
36:08Next time you get a call, we're going to take the call.
36:10Jesus Christ.
36:11That was performative.
36:13He's like, I've never seen someone so upset.
36:16He came up.
36:17He won't even give me eye contact.
36:19No.
36:19They're going to cry.
36:20Devastated.
36:21All right.
36:21Jaguars.
36:22Let's go.
36:22Broncos.
36:23I love this game.
36:24Okay.
36:24Tell us.
36:25I just think the Broncos laid an egg.
36:27Yeah.
36:28I think that was their maybe one or two games this year.
36:31They're not going to be competitive right down the stretch.
36:34And I think they just piss all over the Jaguars, who are an excellent team.
36:38Mm-hmm.
36:40Offensively, defensively, special teams, coaching all the way around.
36:44I think the Broncos D comes to play here.
36:46I think Bo Nix, this will be his opening party back from the injury.
36:51Let's go.
36:51Okay.
36:52Jerry?
36:53All Denver.
36:54All day.
36:55All day?
36:55All day?
36:56All day?
36:56Smoking blunts.
36:57Party people.
36:57Drinking coffee.
36:58Party people.
36:59Boulder, Colorado, everybody living large, watching the game.
37:01I'm leaning Denver like Stu.
37:03I will say, I know the Jags played the Browns last week.
37:06Yeah, they stink.
37:07But, I mean, Trevor Lawrence looked unreal.
37:09Unreal.
37:10Unreal.
37:10Unreal.
37:11I mean, like a top five quarterback.
37:12Psycho.
37:12Well, he is a top five quarterback.
37:14He was psycho.
37:14You think he's top five?
37:15Oh, top five quarterbacks.
37:16Go.
37:16Yes.
37:17Go.
37:17Who, me?
37:18Yeah.
37:19Caleb Williams is one.
37:21Yep.
37:21Josh Allen is two.
37:23Yep.
37:27Patty Mahomes, three.
37:29Now he's healthy.
37:32Justin Herbert, four.
37:34Okay.
37:34Joe Burrow.
37:35And then we'll go.
37:36Trevor Lawrence.
37:36Trevor Lawrence.
37:37Okay.
37:37Okay, fair.
37:38Hey, Pat.
37:40Yo, what's going on?
37:41You're live on Advisors.
37:42Jerry doesn't think you're gay, so I said, he said you've never done anything gay.
37:46What's the gayest thing you've ever done?
37:49Probably sex with a man.
37:50Okay, that's pretty gay.
37:52What do you think, Jerry?
37:53I need more detail.
37:54I need more detail.
37:55He needs more detail.
37:55He wants more detail.
37:57Pat, do me a favor.
37:58Next time you see him, whip out that 11-inch pee-pee and t-ball this bitch.
38:04T-ball?
38:04T-ball.
38:05I want his balls on your eyes, and I want his 11-inch penis soft rolling down your chin like
38:12this.
38:13Okay, well, I'll say this, Pat.
38:14And that will be the shirt.
38:15Pat is gay with Jersey Jerry and Pat's big penis over his face.
38:19Your answer was enough for me.
38:21You're going to have to work on Jerry.
38:21Pat, I love you.
38:22Jerry does not believe you.
38:24We'll figure out details later, Pat.
38:26I'll do my best.
38:26Jerry, whatever I need to do to prove it, I will.
38:28Love you guys.
38:29I'll talk to you soon.
38:29Okay.
38:30All right.
38:30See you.
38:30Bye.
38:31I love Pat.
38:32I love Pat.
38:33I love me too, by the way.
38:35Are you trying to get Pat to fuck you?
38:37No, no, no.
38:37It feels that way.
38:38It feels that way.
38:39It feels that way.
38:40It feels that way.
38:41I can feel it in the room right now where you're like, bro, you're not gay.
38:44Prove it.
38:46Oh, wait.
38:46No, no, no.
38:47See, that's not.
38:48Yeah.
38:48No, I don't swing that way.
38:50I see what you're doing.
38:51Obviously, you do.
38:52No, no, no.
38:52The person who cries the most is the one that really is closet.
38:56Oh, Pat.
38:57Let's play truth or dare real quick.
38:59I dare you to fuck me.
39:00No, no, no.
39:01I want to say for the camera, I love Pat so much, I would almost go gay, but I'm not
39:07gay.
39:07Right.
39:08And I won't go gay.
39:09Same.
39:09I do that.
39:09Jerry loves him so much.
39:10No, no, no.
39:11My ass is Sandy's fingers.
39:13Oh, my God.
39:14Jesus Christ.
39:15Say it.
39:16Jerry loves.
39:16No, no, no.
39:17I said it.
39:19Jerry loves Pat so much, he's willing to be gay.
39:23What is that?
39:24Listen, I got nothing against that.
39:26It's not for me.
39:27No one said you did.
39:28It's just not for me.
39:29It doesn't do anything to me.
39:30It doesn't arouse me.
39:32It doesn't give me a bone or anything.
39:34Well, Pat will prove that that's not the case.
39:38I don't think so.
39:39I mean, he could try.
39:39Well, no, he can't try.
39:40No.
39:41No, he can't.
39:45Okay.
39:46He's not going to try.
39:47This is a case study for human resources, by the way.
39:50You're not going to try.
39:50A case study for human resources.
39:54We're cutting 30 minutes out of the show already.
39:56Dude, it'd be like if I walked in here right now and I was like, I don't think Sidney Sweeney's
40:00tits are that big.
40:01She's going to have to prove it to me.
40:02Right.
40:03Put him in my face.
40:03That's what he's doing with Pat.
40:05He is.
40:06Yeah.
40:06No, because I.
40:07Yeah.
40:08You really are.
40:08The guy, you're not gay.
40:10Give me that cock.
40:11No.
40:13No.
40:13Okay.
40:14All right.
40:14So, as I was saying.
40:16Jaguars Broncos.
40:18The Jags did play the Browns last week.
40:20Yeah.
40:20Which they played great.
40:21Whatever.
40:22Trevor Lawrence looks incredible.
40:23Their defense looked great.
40:26But is it one of those spots where the Broncos look terrible?
40:30Jags look like world beaters.
40:32I'm going to stick to that theory early on in the season.
40:34I'm going to take the Broncos minus two and a half.
40:36I think they could bounce back.
40:37I will say, though, their receivers, I don't know what they're doing.
40:41I have no idea what they're doing.
40:43That offensive line did not look good.
40:45I'm a little worried about the Broncos.
40:47But I'm going to take them this week.
40:52Earthquake.
40:53Oh.
40:57All right.
40:58All the boys are on the Broncos.
40:59Minus two and a half.
41:00Let's do your mic.
41:01That was dog shit.
41:02Come on.
41:03Ooh.
41:08Oh, that's a good one.
41:09That's a good one.
41:10That's a good one.
41:10Yeah, it is.
41:12Oh, it hit Jacob in the leg.
41:15Hopefully he's bleeding.
41:17Stu.
41:24Poor Blake.
41:25Blake is in the kill shot zone.
41:28Stu's mic fell.
41:29We'll fix it up.
41:31Oh.
41:32Oh, yeah.
41:32It was completely off.
41:34Completely off.
41:34Completely off.
41:35It's gone.
41:47Oh, you're great, Stu.
41:49Legend.
41:50Okay.
41:56Incredible.
41:56You know who's not gay?
41:57Who?
41:58Blake.
41:59No, he's an answer.
41:59Because he didn't take the mic and try to put it in my pants and feel my penis.
42:05Some people have here.
42:07I just want to say it.
42:07I don't want to say it.
42:09I'm not going to say it.
42:09Say it.
42:10Say it.
42:10Say it.
42:10Say it.
42:11Say it.
42:11I'm not going to say it.
42:12Say it.
42:16I don't want to say it.
42:17Say it.
42:18Say it.
42:30Say it.
42:30and there's been times where I have to tell him,
42:32do not touch me.
42:34You're not touching my chest.
42:36You're not touching my stomach.
42:38You're not touching my waist.
42:39Stop it.
42:40You say this right here, this is for Pat.
42:44Yeah.
42:49Do not touch me.
42:50Ah!
42:51All right, last game.
42:52I love you, Pat.
42:53Sunday night football.
42:54Colts and Chiefs.
42:55Chiefs are minus 6.5.
42:57Over it is 46.5.
42:59The Chiefs are back.
43:00Stu, I'll start with you because you won't give a pick
43:03because you are a coward.
43:05I love this game.
43:06On the stand-alone games, I swept the first week.
43:09Seattle pushed.
43:10Should have won if their quarterback didn't get hurt.
43:13Then we had last night the Chiefs, really, really big.
43:16Then we had Frisco crushing the Rams.
43:18And we had the Giants and over Giants and over Giants and over Giants and over
43:23Sunday night parlay.
43:24So I'm on fire on the stand-alone games.
43:26I am always on fire on prime time.
43:29Pay me at making money.
43:30Pay me at saving money.
43:31On StuFinder.com right now.
43:33Side, total, parlay.
43:35Plus my three best bets.
43:36Plus I'm having a 100-dimer, a 50-dimer, a 25-dimer.
43:39All on Sunday.
43:41StuFinder.com.
43:42StuFinder.com.
43:43StuFinder.com.
43:44Okay.
43:45Thank you, Stu.
43:46Let's start with the weather.
43:47And Hannah.
43:48In Kansas City, Missouri, it's light rain and 76 degrees.
43:52Thank you, Hannah.
43:53Hannah.
43:55Love you.
43:55I love you.
43:56I love you.
43:57I love you.
43:58I love you.
43:59Daniel Jones is 18-7-1 to the under on grass in his career.
44:04That is the best mark of 56 QBs with at least 10 such games since 2019.
44:09Yeah.
44:09Yeah.
44:10I said I wasn't going to bet unders, but this is an under.
44:12Under 46.
44:12I love that.
44:13I'm right.
44:13We did hit our under with the Chiefs game on Monday Night Football.
44:16Yes, we did.
44:16That was, even though the Chiefs were phenomenal.
44:18I mean, you gave up basically two 50-yard touchdowns.
44:21We still hit the under.
44:22Under 46-1.
44:23What do you think in this game?
44:24I love it.
44:24I love it.
44:25I'm riding.
44:25I'm riding with the under in the Chiefs game, 46-1.
44:28Listen, defense, really fucking good.
44:30Really good.
44:31Legere Sneed, I mean, on lockdown.
44:34That dude is locked down.
44:36Love him in this spot.
44:37D-line's really good, too.
44:38I will say this.
44:39The Colts, I expected more from them week one.
44:41I didn't.
44:42Really?
44:42No.
44:43Really?
44:43I don't think they're good.
44:45Frauds?
44:46Really?
44:46Not frauds.
44:47I just don't think they're good.
44:47I don't think they're good.
44:48I expected a little bit more from them.
44:50But I'm riding with you with the under.
44:52I like the under play here.
44:52You've got to be a little scared of the Ravens.
44:54Oh, yeah.
44:55Yeah.
44:56Oh, yeah.
44:56They're going to.
44:56La Musse.
44:57La Musse.
44:57He's going to fuck you up.
44:58Listen.
44:59La Musse.
44:59I want to hand up on record.
45:01I will say it.
45:01There's been many times in the last couple weeks where I was shitting on the Ravens wide
45:06receiving group.
45:07Zay Flowers is good.
45:09Yeah.
45:09He's a good player.
45:09But he's hurt.
45:10But guess what?
45:11Yeah, exactly.
45:11He might be an IR.
45:13Okay.
45:13When we come back, we will give you our mortals back right after this partial sports advisor.
45:25I'll tell you what.
45:26I know we've had a lot of trouble in the past.
45:28How about you and I crack open a couple of style of blues, put that all behind us.
45:32Yeah.
45:36You've been a robot this whole time?
45:40What the hell are you?
45:48Stella Blue Coffee, now available at Target, Circle K, and 7-Eleven.
45:55How you doing in fantasy football?
45:58Do you have a video that goes over last week's results, shred the people that were terrible,
46:05accentuate the people that were positive, and just blow it out?
46:08Well, listen, I do a cameo.com slash stewfighter update for your fantasy football team.
46:16Shred people, accentuate people, hug it out.
46:20Plus, birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, bachelor parties, pick-me-up, shreds.
46:27You want to announce your wedding party.
46:29Someone had a baby.
46:31I do it all.
46:32I'm the best in the business.
46:34Cameo.com slash stewfighter.
46:37Cameo.com slash stewfighter.
46:41Cameo.com slash stewfighter.
46:45Barstool Sports Advisors, we are back, and it's time for our mortals, brought to you by
46:49DraftKings.
46:50Football's back with DraftKings Sportsbook.
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46:54All September long, opt in and get a 50% profit boost every game day with the DraftKings
47:01Game Day Boost Pass, so when the biggest matchups kick off, you can get even more out of the
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47:09New DraftKings Sportsbook customers.
47:11Sign up with code BEADVISED and get a 50% profit boost every game day.
47:15That's code BEADVISED in partnership with DraftKings.
47:18The crown is yours.
47:20Mortals, mortals, mortals.
47:22Did we go?
47:23We went.
47:23Jerry went 1-0.
47:25I lost mine.
47:27Stu lost his.
47:28I lost mine by a half a point.
47:29That fucking Raiders.
47:31Oh, my God.
47:32You watched it.
47:32Third quarter.
47:33There were two.
47:34There were two.
47:35There was a missed field goal.
47:36I lost by half a point.
47:37There was a missed field goal.
47:38Then there was two times that Malik Willis should have been safety.
47:40Like, literally, in the end zone, guy ripping him down, he got out of it.
47:45Would have won it.
47:46That's okay.
47:46I am going somewhere else, though.
47:49I'm going to stay on my overs, but I'm going somewhere else.
47:51Listen, Ben Johnson told everyone, I'm going to break the scoring record.
47:56Then he went out and he dropped a 50-burger right in the Panthers' face.
47:59And then you know what he did?
48:00He went out and said, I was actually thinking about going for two.
48:03I wanted 60.
48:04He's hungry.
48:05He just wants all the points.
48:07He is literally going to get all the points.
48:09He's going to gobble up all the points.
48:11The Bears are an auto over team until proven otherwise.
48:15Bears, Vikings, over 48 and a half.
48:18Ben Johnson is a madman, and I love him.
48:20I would give my life for him.
48:21I'd give up my whole – I'd give up you.
48:24I'd give up you.
48:24I'd give up you.
48:25I'd give up everyone.
48:26Don't give up me.
48:27I'm sorry, but I would.
48:28Really?
48:28If Ben Johnson said, hey, I'll become your best friend,
48:31you can never talk to Stu Feiner again, you're out.
48:34I'm just letting you know.
48:35I'm letting you know.
48:36I don't think that's ever going to happen.
48:37Fair enough.
48:39You know, I don't think he's going to make me choose between him and you.
48:42Okay.
48:42But if that does happen, I want you to know.
48:44I know the Bears love me.
48:45I know he loves me.
48:46Hey, let's go to your mortal.
48:48All right.
48:49Lions up 21-0 against the Saints.
48:51I mean, that should have been a mortal.
48:54I don't know how they –
48:55Can't say that word.
48:56The Saints back in.
48:57Bleep it.
48:59Oh, but I said it not as an adjective.
49:03I said it as a pronoun.
49:05You can't say it.
49:06Okay.
49:06Like, if you're –
49:07Should have been a mortal.
49:08Detroit should have been a mortal up 21-0.
49:11Please, give me a break.
49:11Superplay.
49:12We should change it to Superplays.
49:13Come on.
49:14Maxplay?
49:15No, mortals is good.
49:16Superplays.
49:17Superplays?
49:17Superplays.
49:18Isn't that like you get a haircut at some place?
49:20No, it's Supercuts.
49:21Superplay.
49:22Superplay.
49:22Okay, fair enough.
49:23All right, Bears!
49:24All Bears here!
49:26Let's go.
49:26Crush the Vikings!
49:27It's a rout!
49:29They put up 70!
49:31Yes!
49:3170-21!
49:3370-21!
49:34The over, I'm not telling you to bet the over.
49:36I'm just performatively saying they're going to score 10 touchdowns!
49:40I am.
49:4170-21!
49:43Performatively and unperformatively.
49:45Really, I'm telling you to take the over.
49:48Superplay.
49:49Jerry.
49:49Yeah, I told you last week.
49:50I wasn't lying.
49:51Fast turf.
49:52A lot of points in that game.
49:54Also, the Bucs could have scored 40 if they wanted to.
49:57Baker kept on fumbling the turnovers.
49:59Anyway, I'm steamy.
50:00I'm steamy.
50:02I'm sticking with my team totals here.
50:06Listen, it's the Chargers in a get-back game.
50:08Okay?
50:08They're going to score a million points this game.
50:09I'm taking them.
50:10Team total over 24 and a half against the Raiders.
50:13What?
50:13The Raiders?
50:14Who are the Raiders?
50:15The Raiders are nobodies.
50:16I don't like the Raiders.
50:17What?
50:17Okay.
50:18What's wrong?
50:19You think the Raiders are good?
50:20I don't think the Raiders are good.
50:22Me either.
50:23That's why I bet the Chargers team total.
50:24I think Max Crosby's really good.
50:26Yes, he is.
50:27He's a game wrecker, a home wrecker.
50:29He's really good.
50:29Oh, no, no, no.
50:30He doesn't wreck homes.
50:32He slept with someone else's wife?
50:35No, he didn't.
50:36I shouldn't have said that.
50:37Why did you say that?
50:38He's a game wrecker, not a home wrecker.
50:39Shout out his wife.
50:40She follows me on Instagram.
50:41Okay, you're a home wrecker.
50:42No, hell no.
50:43Okay.
50:43No, we have the sobriety in common.
50:45She's a fan.
50:46Okay.
50:46Yeah, we all respect.
50:48Love him.
50:49It's not a home wrecker.
50:50No, but can I say something?
50:51Team wrecker.
50:52Can I put him on the spot?
50:52Yeah.
50:55Max, I don't want to DM you again.
50:57You owe me a jersey, son.
50:59I don't want to do that.
51:00He doesn't want to do it.
51:00I don't want to do it.
51:01He doesn't want to do it.
51:02We've met twice in person.
51:03Shout out Big Cat.
51:05You still owe me the jersey.
51:06We got to give you that.
51:06You said, your team said it too.
51:08Your agent said it, your manager.
51:09Yep.
51:09You were going to give me the signed jersey.
51:10It doesn't have to be game worn.
51:14Now I hate my pick.
51:16Now I hate my pick.
51:17No, no.
51:19I think you're going to get pissed on still this week.
51:20Oh, my God.
51:22All right, Barstool Sports Advisors, thank you to Hannah and Hannah.
51:26Hey, Hannah and Hannah.
51:27We'll be back for week three.
51:29Week three.
51:30Double men go.
51:31Double Hannah's.
51:32Let's go.
51:32Be advised.
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