- 9 hours ago
Amberlynn packs up her life in Virginia in anticipation of joining her new girlfriend Destiny in Florida. She finds out Destiny wasn't being honest about her relationship status, but by the end of the month the two work through it and continue on with plans to live together before meeting.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hello everybody. So, I just got out of the shower. I figured I would just make a small vlog today.
00:05Like, why not? I really, really don't vlog like I used to. I really want to start vlogging again.
00:11I enjoy vlogging. You guys enjoy watching them. Vlogging is a really, really big part of my life.
00:16I just don't know what to vlog anymore. Like, I don't know. I've had a lot of support from you
00:22guys in the comments on my last quite a few videos and I'm appreciating it so much. You guys really
00:28accept me for who I am, what I want to show in videos, and I just appreciate that so much.
00:33What do you want me to talk about? It's recording.
00:49See, Crystal don't like being on camera, but you, you're gonna be all about that life, huh?
00:55The camera loves me. Oh, yes.
00:58She wasn't very big on YouTube yet. I didn't even really know that she had a YouTube when
01:02me and her started talking. Um, so YouTube was pretty, kind of, like, irrelevant.
01:10Look at you. All cute and s***.
01:17Literally starving right now, so I'm eating some of these everything thin pretzels. Well, pretzel
01:23crisps and they're so good. They also have a buffalo flavor that I've never tried and I really,
01:29really need to try them. I keep hearing some extreme thunder out there, but no rain.
01:38Clouds are dark. I really hate when it storms. I'm afraid I'm gonna get lightning struck.
01:44Can you guys believe it? 31 more days and I will be meeting destiny and moving to Florida. Like,
01:51what?
01:52I plan a trip to not only Kentucky, but to Virginia to get emerald in, essentially.
02:00So, it's around the 4th of July. It's like the weekend of the 1st or the week of the 1st,
02:05whatever
02:05that day was. I know it was on a weekend, though.
02:08So, I already got boxes. I'm actually starting to pack pajamas, as you can tell. These are
02:15pajamas. Uh, scarves and sweaters and things like that. I have to organize this. I just threw these
02:20on top real quick because they just got clean. All these are, like, my normal regular shirts. I'm
02:25gonna put in a completely different box and I have, like, my cardigans over there. This is gonna be a
02:29really long process and that's, like, more pajamas that I have to go through.
02:33Well, as I'm just sitting here casually listening to music, listening to the lightning gonna strike
02:39me through the window and all that type of stuff, even though lightning doesn't even make noise. Like,
02:44I need to get my shit together. The power completely goes out and then it flashes back on. So,
02:50that only means that it's probably gonna go out in a little bit and that's gonna suck.
02:54Destiny wants me to watch Pitch Perfect because I've never seen it before. So,
03:00she wants to see the second one with me. So, I need to watch, obviously,
03:07the first one. Ooh, Fifty Shades of Grey. If you guys have watched that, you should leave it in the
03:13comments below and let me know if you enjoyed it. I have my thoughts back and forth regarding that
03:18movie, but I don't know. I cannot wait to watch Jurassic Park. Like, literally,
03:26Jurassic World actually is the new one. They're showing the preview right now. Okay, I found it.
03:32It's only $2.99. So, super cheap. One moment, please. Yay!
03:47It's really late at night now. I was a fail at vlogging today. I knew it was gonna be a
03:52pretty
03:52boring vlog, but the fact that the power keeps going out literally, like, every 20 minutes and
03:59it's off for, like, a minute. It's, like, being really obnoxious. Destiny's gonna be off work just
04:04here in a little bit and when she gets off work, we FaceTime for the rest of the night. So,
04:09I'm pretty
04:10much gonna be preoccupied for the whole night. I still hope you guys enjoyed this video. I'm kind
04:15of, like, trying to get back into vlogging again. I'm, like, not used to it anymore. I remember when
04:19I used to do daily vlogs and now I'm, like, what to vlog? I don't know. What's life? I still
04:24hope you
04:24guys enjoyed it and I love talking to you guys and I'll see you in my next video. Bye. Hello,
04:28everybody.
04:29I'm literally just laying here on my bed for, like, a quick second. Destiny just went to work, so we
04:34just
04:35got off of FaceTime. I think I'm gonna do a little bit more packing today, kind of just cleaning
04:40up my room. It's really, like, a mess. I'm so, like, OCD when it comes to packing. Like, everything
04:46has to be, like, so perfect and put in the right spot and it just takes me forever. That's probably
04:52why I started packing so freaking early. Little bits and pieces every single day instead of, like,
04:57doing it all, like, a week before. I have a couple, like, garbage bags full of garbage things that I
05:03don't
05:03want that I don't plan on giving to Goodwill. I have a couple Goodwill bags. I can't take everything
05:08with me. Whatever I don't bring with me, I'm giving to Goodwill. I have a lot of perfume. I will
05:15show
05:15you guys in a minute how do I pack all this perfume and body spray. I need you guys' advice,
05:21so in the
05:21comments below, can you please help me? All of this perfume, these are all my glass perfumes, and I have
05:28all these body sprays. These are all plastic, so that's what I need help with. I have no idea how
05:34I'm
05:34going to pack all this. As you guys know, I'm, like, the jewelry queen. So what I did was I
05:41bought
05:41four boxes of these 76 packs of Ziploc slider bags, and I'm just gonna put one necklace in each one.
05:49It
05:49makes sense to me. Right now, I'm sitting downstairs with Monkey. We have no idea why. He's really, really
05:56sick. He has been sick for two days now. He hasn't gotten into anything. Like, in the past, he's been
06:02sick
06:02because he got into, like, candy and chocolates, but he hasn't eaten anything, like, out of the
06:07ordinary, so we're really confused. He has really bad diarrhea. He will not eat anything. He literally
06:12just lays there. He doesn't even sleep. Sometimes he's just literally laying there with his eyes
06:16open. We don't know what's wrong with him. We're trying to take care of him. Poor thing.
06:25So, for all you Pretty Little Liar fans out there, guess what's about to go down right now?
06:30Pretty Little Liar? Pretty Little Liar season six premiere. How is this happening already? I'm
06:38literally freaking out. I am one of the biggest Pretty Little Liar fans of the world. I'm so
06:43excited. Oh my god. I need to focus. I need to watch this. Let's go.
06:51It's kind of late at night right now, and I kind of just wanted to end my vlog real quick.
06:56I didn't
06:56even want to end my vlog. I'm going through something right now, and I'm just feeling kind
07:01of like, I just want to shut the world out. You ever have those times where you literally just
07:07don't want to talk to anyone, and you just want to curl up in a ball and cry? Well, that's
07:11me right
07:11now, so I'm just having one of them moments. I'm sorry this vlog wasn't that thrilling. I'll try to
07:18vlog again tomorrow, and I will see you in my next video. Bye.
07:21Hello, everybody. Monkey is okay. I did make a video the other day how monkey has been really
07:28sick. A lot of you were really worried about him, as were we, completely. He is fine now. Yesterday,
07:33he started feeling a lot better. I made sure to try to feed him, you know, slowly, and he started
07:39eating slowly, and now he is totally fine. He's eating. He's not getting sick anymore. He has his
07:45energy back. He's no more lethargic. I appreciate your guys' concern so, so, so much. A lot of you were
07:51saying, take him to the vet. Take him to the vet. Take him to the vet. I couldn't have agreed
07:54more.
07:55We were definitely going to take him to the vet if he didn't get any better the next morning.
07:59Something else I wanted to just talk about is, as you guys know, I am moving in with Destiny.
08:04I'm really, really excited. Of course, I'm insanely nervous. You guys are probably going to see that
08:09through the next few weeks. I'm trying my hardest to vlog more. Don't mind this. I've had a rash for
08:16a couple weeks now. As soon as the weather started getting hotter, this formed. A lot of you are
08:22giving me such great and kind support, and I appreciate it so freaking much. You have no idea.
08:28Then there's two of you, maybe, who are kind of a little negative about the situation. It makes me
08:34confused. Why would you be negative over something that's super exciting for me? I'm really excited for
08:40this move. I think it's really going to help me just grow as a person. I know I'm going to
08:45be
08:45happier. I found someone I truly, truly like. I don't want anyone to take that away from me.
08:50I understand everyone has their own opinion. They're going to sit there and share it. That's
08:54kind of what YouTube comments are for. I just feel like to blatantly tell me that this is not going
08:59to work out is kind of rude and very immature. I have such high hopes for this to work out.
09:05If it doesn't work out, that doesn't mean you can sit there and be like,
09:07heh, told you so. Like, to gamble on someone's life like that, especially something very scary
09:14and very new, it's kind of weird. It's also a tad bit disrespectful. I don't know how someone could
09:22really sit there and be like, I know this is not going to work out. How do you know? Destiny
09:27and I
09:27are planning a lot. This is taking a lot of planning, a lot of thinking, a lot of work. We're
09:33not just
09:34going into this completely blind. Just please refrain from just being so negative. Life is about
09:40positivity. The more positivity you put out, the happier you'll be. Trust me. Crystal and I are about
09:45to go run some errands, so I figured I'd do an outfit of the day. I feel like I haven't
09:49done these in
09:49so long, so let's get to it. Just wearing my hair in a ponytail because it's super easy. Triangle
09:56diamond earrings I got from Charlotte Ruse. Silver black diamond tiger ring that I got from shopmise.com.
10:01Black and white netted necklace with diamonds that I got from Charlotte Ruse. I'm just wearing this
10:08striped shirt that I got from Walmart with this fringy black cardigan. I honestly do not remember
10:15where I got the cardigan. That is my outfit for today. That's for you, Destiny. Crystal and I were
10:21going to go to Texas Roadhouse, but she's been craving sushi and so have I. This is her favorite
10:26restaurant. So we're at Kappa Garden. It's a conveyor belt and it's so freaking good here.
10:44We're at Kappa Garden, which is a frozen yogurt place. I got the cake batter frozen yogurt with
10:50gummy bears and cheese. All right, ready for it? So bomb. Destiny, we're thinking about you.
11:08Don't, she says. You know what? It's pretty hot. What are you doing? You have to turn it around.
11:18Huh? How close is it? It's just for my vlog.
11:30This is how it looks in here.
11:38The girl who worked here must really, really like it.
11:44I'm giving Crystal some of my gummies. I think I prefer it without it.
11:51Oh, nope. Nope. I like the one things to order. Wait. I think the cheesecake is what makes it bomb.
11:58Oh, I could do.
12:06Come on. Where are we going next? Target for some duffel bags?
12:11Are you still recording?
12:12Yep.
12:14Come on. Come on, slow poke.
12:18Unlock it.
12:23Unlock it then, girl.
12:28Look how freaking cute. We got ourselves some.
12:31What are these little geese?
12:33Are these ducks?
12:34And little babies.
12:37I made Crystal park the car just because I had to look at them.
12:40I want to get out so bad. I'm going to try it.
12:43I don't want to scare them though.
12:46They're just so cute. I can't.
12:51I swear it just hissed at me.
12:53Hi.
12:55They're hissing, Crystal.
12:59Aw.
13:00I won't get any closer.
13:07Watch. Watch me take a step closer.
13:09Watch their mouths.
13:13See?
13:15Aw.
13:15I don't want to bother you.
13:18Bye.
13:19I'm scared they're going to get me.
13:21Crystal, they freaking hissed at me.
13:23What?
13:24Hissed?
13:24Yeah.
13:25Every time I got closer, they're like...
13:29I just got out of Target.
13:30I went there to get a duffel bag.
13:33When Destiny comes and picks me up
13:35on July 2nd, her and I are actually going to Kentucky for like four days.
13:42That's where her mom and some of her family lives.
13:44So we're going to be staying there for 4th of July and some extra days.
13:48So I needed a duffel bag just to make life easier.
13:51My hopes were set on a pink, really cute duffel bag.
13:55Target does not have many duffel bags.
13:57They were pretty freaking ugly, I must say.
14:00I tried to search in the purse aisle, which I got lucky.
14:03I found a pretty cute one.
14:04I guess I can show you guys when I get home.
14:06I'm about to go to Walmart because I need to do a little bit of grocery shopping.
14:13That one's too big.
14:16That one has spots.
14:19That one's too mushy.
14:23Spots.
14:29It's so hard to find the perfect freaking thing.
14:32That one's hard to rock.
14:46What are you doing?
14:53Why are you always putting a butt in my face?
15:03I want to show you guys the duffel bag I got.
15:07This was definitely by far the cutest one and I actually really like it.
15:12I'm just hoping it's big enough.
15:14Chazam.
15:15It actually looks really big on camera.
15:18Black with sequined stripes.
15:20This is from Target.
15:22$35.
15:22I also got a shirt.
15:24I probably shouldn't have, but I did.
15:28Purple and then in the front, there is like this netting.
15:32I thought it was super cute.
15:33Obviously, I'd wear it with a cardigan because I don't like my arms showing.
15:51It's really late right now.
15:52I need to end my vlog.
15:54So I hope you guys enjoyed today's video and I will see you in my next one.
15:57Bye.
16:02Destiny said how I messaged her ex from California.
16:05It was spooky.
16:06Yeah, I messaged her to apologize because I didn't know she had a girlfriend.
16:09Like I said, I never come from a bad place, even at that time.
16:12I messaged her.
16:13I wish I still had the messages.
16:14And I said, I am so sorry.
16:15I had no idea.
16:16Destiny is a cheater.
16:17She is a liar.
16:22I'm trying to make my hair cooperate.
16:24Yes, even though my name is not Michael.
16:29Hello, everybody.
16:30I'm here to do that Get Your Freak On tag.
16:33The Get Your Freak On tag consists of 15 questions.
16:4010 plus 5, 15.
16:43One, what's a nickname that your family calls you?
16:46When I was a little girl, my uncle would call me Chewy.
16:49Uncle Bumpy has me shook right now.
16:51And then all of a sudden, something fell like in the closet that was near us.
16:55And I thought that was really weird.
16:56We have a freaking attic right here.
16:58Like a drug attic.
17:00I used to have Uncle Bumpy and I was talking about him.
17:03His real name is Michael.
17:04He used to call me Chewy when I was little.
17:06I don't know why.
17:06Is that...
17:07Yeah, I don't know what that's from.
17:08Like, I never understood.
17:09I was like four years old and he's like, Chewy, come here.
17:11Chewy, come here.
17:12I'm like...
17:15Is that even me?
17:16Everyone's like Chewbacca.
17:17I know.
17:17Like, what?
17:18Droid don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose.
17:21Wookiees are known to do that.
17:26Oh, you said it Chewy.
17:27My grandma would call me Pumpkin.
17:29My dad would call me Princess.
17:31And mom would call me Amby's.
17:33You guys are my...
17:34Do you know what it is, baby?
17:36Ambabies.
17:36Yes, you guys are my Ambabies.
17:38That was so cute.
17:42Amby, Amby, you want to talk?
17:45Two, what's a weird habit of yours?
17:47I'm not really a person who has weird habits.
17:49I can't even think of any right now.
17:52Something I could think of off the top of my head is that I'm constantly wearing more than one shirt.
17:57I'm wearing a floral tank top, a black tank top, and another black tank top.
18:02And a cardigan.
18:04The reason I do that is I feel a lot more comfortable with more clothes on me.
18:10Plus, the black tank top I have under this tank top kind of slims me down a little bit.
18:15Three, do you have any weird phobias?
18:17I do.
18:18It is called tripophobia.
18:20I don't want to talk about it.
18:22I will leave the word right here.
18:24You guys can Google it.
18:25Even just talking about the word or thinking about it in any sort of way,
18:29honestly, gives me the goosebumps and I start to cry.
18:32I do not want to go there right now.
18:34This is what it looks like.
18:35Oh, wait a minute.
18:38I don't really like looking at that part.
18:40So it kind of gives me like the creeps for some reason.
18:43I don't know.
18:44It is probably by far one of my biggest phobias ever.
18:48Four, what's a song you secretly love to listen to and belt out loud when you are alone?
18:53Honestly, I'm the type of person who is not ashamed in the music that I love.
18:57I secretly do sing.
18:58Shh.
18:59No one needs to know.
19:01I'm not a good singer.
19:02A song that I'm really, really enjoying recently is I Think I'm In Love by Cat Dahlia.
19:07So I'm going to say that song.
19:08Five, what's one of your biggest pet peeves?
19:11I must admit, I have quite a few pet peeves.
19:14When people sigh because that just means they're annoyed.
19:17When people slam things such as cupboards, doors, windows, dishes, anything.
19:22People who think they know everything.
19:26Selfish people.
19:27And just all around jerks.
19:30Six, what's one of your nervous habits?
19:32When I get nervous, my stomach tends to be in tons and tons of knots and I feel ill.
19:37That normally causes me to A, shut down or B, talk a mile a minute.
19:42From experience, something that makes me extremely nervous is when we have tornado warnings or watches
19:47or when we're having really, really bad storms.
19:50Normally when something like that is happening, my stomach is in knots and I'm literally going psycho.
19:55Seven, what side of the bed do you sleep on?
20:00This is my left side, right?
20:03I sleep on the wall side, which is the left side.
20:07Eight, what was your first stuffed animal and what was its name?
20:11When I was a little girl, I had tons of stuffed animals, but I don't remember any of their names.
20:15The earliest stuffed animal that I remember having was a teddy bear that I got from a dumpster.
20:21The most random place in the world I know.
20:23I named that bear Bamantha.
20:25It's a bear.
20:26Bear starts with a B instead of Samantha.
20:28I just added the B to Samantha and I created Bamantha.
20:31I don't know.
20:33Nine, what's one drink you always order at Starbucks?
20:36Honestly, back in the day, I'd always, always, always order the vanilla bean Frappuccino.
20:40The last couple of times I've went, I just got the Tazo tea and passion fruit, might I add.
20:47I'm not really a tea lover, but that is actually super, super delicious.
20:51Ten, what's the beauty rule that you preach, but you actually don't practice it?
20:56I feel like beauty could be a lot of things, whether it be about your hair, makeup, body in general,
21:01or just the things you put inside of your body.
21:03It doesn't always have to be what you put on the outside of your body.
21:07Something I preach is that people should be healthy.
21:09They should eat fruits, vegetables, drink their water.
21:12Those are very important key components to being beautiful on the outside.
21:16More importantly, it makes you beautiful on the inside.
21:19To be healthy is to be beautiful.
21:21That's really, really important to me.
21:22Lately, I have not been practicing that.
21:24So I don't have 11 fingers, so 11.
21:28Which way do you face in the shower?
21:31I face away from the water.
21:3312, do you have any weird body skills?
21:36Not many people can do this, which I find kind of strange because to me it just comes so easily.
21:41I can touch my nose with my tongue.
21:45I'm sure that was so attractive.
21:4713, what's your favorite comfort food?
21:50Ben and Jerry all the way.
21:52No ifs, ands, or buts.
21:54That is my go-to.
21:56Ooh, Ben and Jerry, they're so evil, but yet so delicious.
21:5914, what's a phrase or exclamation that you tend to say?
22:03Crystal?
22:06Is there like a phrase or an exclamation that I tend to say a lot of?
22:11I don't know either.
22:12I can't think of anything.
22:13Wakata?
22:14Wakata!
22:15That's her phrase.
22:16She says it all the time.
22:17Okay, what do I say?
22:18Oh my lantern.
22:19Sometimes.
22:21Oh my lantern.
22:22You do that whenever we're arguing or fighting about something.
22:25We're just like, oh my lantern.
22:26And I'm just like, don't, don't!
22:31Well, if you don't know, I don't know.
22:34Charlie Baby.
22:35That should be it.
22:39I'm saying it, I'm saying it.
22:41So it's either Charlie Baby or Ruby Rose.
22:44If you guys don't watch Orange is New Black, you need to watch Orange is New Black.
22:47Because Ruby Rose, I'm about that life.
22:51She gives me life.
22:52Life is given when Ruby Rose is on my TV screen.
22:57That's not even an exclamation.
22:58That doesn't even make sense.
23:00Charlie, you need my purse fall.
23:02I'm gonna get you 15.
23:05When it is time to sleep, what are you actually wearing?
23:08When I go to sleep, I am wearing just a shirt and panties.
23:12I do wear my bra to sleep sometimes.
23:15Actually, probably 99% of the time.
23:17I know a lot of people say that's not good for you.
23:19To each their own.
23:21I hope you guys enjoyed this tag.
23:23I hope you guys enjoyed my answers.
23:25I hope you guys just enjoy this video in general.
23:27I will see you guys in my next video.
23:29Bye.
23:32I love you guys.
23:34Don't you ever forget it.
23:35Hello, everybody.
23:36I have not made a video in the longest time.
23:39It feels like a lot has been going on for me.
23:42I don't even know how to wrap my head around life.
23:45Recently, Crystal's sister and her fiance, their apartment caught on fire.
23:49I don't really want to go too much into the details because it is a private matter,
23:52but they've been staying with us for a little bit.
23:55I just feel so, so horrible for them.
23:57They got a new apartment really quickly, so I'm super, super excited for them.
24:01They're going to be moving out on Wednesday.
24:03Their cat, Nubbins, is literally the softest cat I've ever felt in my life.
24:07Every time I go in the bedroom, he is hidden under the bed.
24:11And I want to pet him so bad, but he's hidden.
24:15Literally, I'm obsessed with cats.
24:17Crystal went on a date last night.
24:19I am so freaking excited for this.
24:22Like, when she was on the date, I was, like, sitting here at home.
24:25I was, like, all anxious.
24:26Like, oh my god, how's it going?
24:27How's it going?
24:27How's it going?
24:28I was, like, biting my nails off.
24:29It's really strange to think that, like, four months ago,
24:32I was thinking, oh my god, Crystal's the love of my life.
24:35Crystal and I are about to go on our Valentine's date day slash night.
24:39Crystal's going to surprise me.
24:40I have no idea where we're going to eat.
24:42She's going to be driving us there, and I'm totally going to be surprised.
24:45I have an idea.
24:46I don't want to say it in front of her.
24:48I probably should have told you guys earlier.
24:49I'm going to put a photo after this clip where I think she's taking me,
24:53and I'm going to see if we're right.
24:56All right, you guys.
24:57We've arrived, and Crystal knows me well enough to know that
24:59Indian cuisine is my favorite.
25:02Yay!
25:03She knows me so well, as I do her.
25:05You know, that's just, like, how it is.
25:07We were in a relationship for a very, very long time.
25:09Now, here we are, like, totally moving on, accepting,
25:13you know, that we have other people in our lives,
25:15and we're friends now, and it feels really good.
25:18Don't get me wrong, it's not pitch perfect perfect, because it's not.
25:21It gets hard.
25:22It gets rough.
25:23Like, there are certain emotions that arise that are different.
25:25It's, like, things that you don't expect.
25:27Overall, this is just a great, great, great adventure, I feel like.
25:32So, in 10 days, I will be moving to Florida.
25:34I literally cannot believe the time is going by so quickly.
25:39It's very nerve-wracking.
25:41I've been doing a lot of packing.
25:43I have quite a few boxes, and four of them are, like, ginormous,
25:46and I physically can't even pick them up myself.
25:48I don't know if that's going to be an issue.
25:50I still have one more box to pack, and then I'm officially packed.
25:53I'm sorry I haven't been making, you know, vlogs showing my packing process.
25:57I've just been very, very, very busy.
26:00I have been very just emotionally...
26:04Just going through emotions, okay?
26:06Yesterday was Father's Day.
26:07Yesterday was my brother's birthday.
26:09I didn't get to talk to neither of them.
26:10I have no idea how to communicate with either of them.
26:13They're never on Facebook. I don't have their numbers.
26:15So, yesterday, in general, was kind of rough.
26:17Not only that, but I'm thinking about making a really big change in my life.
26:21Lately, I have been studying a lot on vegetarians and the things that they can eat to get in protein.
26:26I am not really a meat person to begin with.
26:29Don't get me wrong.
26:30I love myself some McDonald's chicken nuggets.
26:33Give me some now, please.
26:35A lot of the time, if I eat, like, a red meat, such as hamburger or steak,
26:38I get really sick afterwards.
26:39I don't know if it's because of my gallstones or something else.
26:42I'm the type of person that will not eat meat unless it's super cooked.
26:46Like, literally, practically burnt.
26:48I just get creeped out with meat.
26:50I am probably one of the biggest animal lovers you will ever see in your life.
26:54It's really hard for me to watch documentaries about where our meat comes from,
26:58because literally, it repulses me, it sickens me, and it's just absolutely disgusting.
27:03A lot of people believe that animals were put onto this earth so us humans could eat,
27:08but I don't think I view it that way whatsoever.
27:10I really think I'm going to become a vegetarian.
27:13I need to study more on it, because you cannot become a vegetarian just like this,
27:17because there are a lot of things that is being taken out of your body,
27:22because meat gives you iron, protein, and just certain vitamins.
27:26So, I need to look up a good vitamin supplement that I could be taking.
27:30I don't really want to go, like, into hardcore details about it right now.
27:33It's definitely something I'm interested in.
27:35I've always been interested in this.
27:36I used to talk to Crystal about it all the time.
27:39She was not for me being vegetarian.
27:42I don't know what it was.
27:43She just would not allow it.
27:44I understand I'm my own person, but when you're in a relationship with someone,
27:47sometimes you have to compromise.
27:49I'm normally the one who compromises a little too much.
27:51I told Destiny I want to be a vegetarian, and she totally supports me.
27:55So, that makes me happy.
27:56I just wanted to give you guys an update.
27:58Like, just craziness, craziness right now.
28:02Jessie and I are gonna be meeting for the first time on July 2nd, and I can't believe it.
28:09I literally just cannot believe it.
28:12She makes me feel so freaking special.
28:14I am a very insecure person.
28:16She makes me feel beautiful, and it's just a great feeling.
28:20Like, I haven't felt this happy in a really long time.
28:23I want to try my hardest to make more videos for you guys.
28:27You know, I only have 10 more days in Virginia.
28:29I'm gonna keep you guys posted as much as possible.
28:31I just miss you guys so freaking much.
28:33I really wish I would film more.
28:35I just feel like when I'm emotionally exhausted,
28:38it's hard for me to really do anything besides take care of business.
28:43And sometimes YouTube is put on the back burner, and I just feel really bad for that.
28:47I love you all, I miss you all, and I will try my hardest to make more videos.
28:51And I'll see you in my next one.
28:52Bye.
28:53Bye.
28:53Hello, everybody.
28:54Let's make a video today.
28:56I figured I would vlog today.
28:58My life isn't always the most interesting, but I miss just like literally sitting here
29:03and talking to you guys.
29:05Vlogging, making videos, YouTube in general is such a huge passion of mine,
29:10and I just cannot let that part of my life go.
29:13I miss you guys so much.
29:26I want to show you guys what I have packed already.
29:33I have one box left.
29:34It's pretty big, so that's the only box I have left to pack whatever I need to pack.
29:40I have every single jewelry item I own in this bag, and I just put it in here.
29:45I put every single jewelry item in just Ziploc baggies.
29:50It made sense to me and it worked.
29:52This is just important information like my birth certificate proving I was in foster care
29:57because some jobs you like need that.
30:00I don't even understand.
30:02Don't ask.
30:03Oh, no, did I just break the box?
30:07Oh, no.
30:09I need to be careful.
30:11I have my jewelry holder, just random stuff in here,
30:14and all my college stuff from when I went to college.
30:18I have to put all of these books, shoes, and just random miscellaneous stuff in that box.
30:25My other boxes are in the game room.
30:31And here we have underwear, socks, pajama, shirts, sweaters, pajama pants.
30:37And here we have cardigans.
30:40It's a freaking mess because I am literally living out of boxes right now.
30:43My closet is completely empty and I've been living out of boxes for a couple weeks.
30:48So in here we have cardigans and just like shirts.
30:52Here we have every single glass perfume I own wrapped up.
30:57This is body spray and another body spray.
31:02I have to go run some errands with crystals.
31:04So let's do an offer of the day.
31:06We haven't done that in forever.
31:07I'm not wearing any jewelry because it's all packed.
31:09No makeup because I'm too lazy.
31:11Hair in a bun because my hair is crazy.
31:14That rhymed!
31:16Just wearing this black and white shirt that I got from Walmart.
31:20Yes you guys, I have gained weight.
31:22You don't need to point that out.
31:24My butt is not on you.
31:25This room is this big.
31:27Why are you standing in the back?
31:28I'm standing back so I can see.
31:32This girl goes, why is your butt on me?
31:36Catch you on the flip side.
31:41I forgot to show you guys.
31:43Okay not my glasses, they felt lopsided so I had to fix them anyways.
31:46My purse of the day.
31:48Isn't that a cutie?
31:49I've had it for so long and I don't remember where I got it from.
31:53I almost feel like it was just some random store inside of a random mall,
31:57random shop, random people, random purse.
32:03All the cars are stopped right now because there's like a million geese walking across.
32:08Look how cute they are.
32:10Oh my god, there's so many and there's like a bunch over here.
32:13Crystal, don't run it over.
32:17Heading into the mall because I need to find a pink necklace.
32:21When I go see Destiny and we go to Kentucky, we're going to this like water park and she doesn't
32:29want me to be wearing pants.
32:30I actually bought a maxi dress which I can show you guys.
32:33I haven't worn a dress since I was in sixth grade so it's quite different.
32:37In my head, I'm envisioning like a pink necklace and I don't have many pink necklaces which is
32:41kind of strange.
32:42I need to find one.
32:43The mall was not good luck when it comes to my pink necklace.
32:48I did get a few things there though.
32:51Now I'm at Walmart.
32:52So Walmart has some cute jewelry most of the time so I'm hoping they have these like
32:56pink beaded necklace that I saw before because I so want that now.
32:59Once I got home, I went to Charlotte Rue's and Walmart and got stuff from both places
33:03so I wanted to show you what I got.
33:04First place will be Charlotte Rue's.
33:06Casual pink triangle necklace.
33:08This wasn't the type of pink necklace I was aiming for so that's why I ended up going to Walmart
33:13as well.
33:14I needed more thin cardigans so I got this one
33:19and this one.
33:21They're both super freaking cute and they're thin so I like that.
33:26Walmart next.
33:27Simple pair of black yoga pants.
33:30I needed more tape for packing and this is actually really really good tape.
33:34Maroon bead necklace.
33:37A light pink beaded necklace which is probably going to be the necklace that I wear with the
33:42maxi dress but I'm not 100% sure.
33:45Maroon statement necklace.
33:47Gold and coral beaded necklace that I'm literally obsessed with.
33:52This is so beautiful.
33:53Another beaded necklace.
33:55Baby blue, pink, gold, and green.
33:59This is just so pretty.
34:01And my last thing is this beaded colorful necklace.
34:05Right now I'm watching Pretty Little Liars.
34:07Literally, if you don't watch Pretty Little Liars,
34:10you're not going to understand a single thing I'm about to say.
34:12Aria is suspicious.
34:14Aria is freaking awesome.
34:15Aria better have a huge story.
34:17Aria is A.
34:19Ding!
34:20We have weather advisory right now.
34:22There's supposed to be a really bad thunderstorm and I hear the rain outside right now.
34:26It literally sounds like it's raining cats and dogs.
34:28I want to upload this vlog in case the power goes out.
34:31Just recently we had a day where the power kept flickering and stuff and I don't want that to
34:35happen while I'm uploading this little fella.
34:37But I'm going to end my vlog now.
34:38I hope you guys enjoyed it and I will see you in my next video.
34:41Bye.
34:42Hello everybody.
34:43This video was requested.
34:45People want me to kind of do video diaries of how I'm feeling about meeting Destiny on July 2nd.
34:52It will be the first time her and I are meeting face to face in person and I'm honestly super,
34:58super freaking terrified.
35:00Growing up, I was really, really bullied because of my weight.
35:04I didn't have as many friends as the average kid.
35:06I didn't go play with people.
35:08I just wasn't as happy as the average kid.
35:11I was always the fat friend, the ugly friend.
35:15I just always felt like Fat Amber and that's exactly what I was called.
35:20It wasn't just in school.
35:21It wasn't just random people looking at me while I was walking in a mall.
35:26It was even my brother and my dad.
35:28It was within the family.
35:29My brother and my dad would really belittle me because of my weight.
35:33As a little girl, my dad would push me into a corner and he would spit loogies in my face,
35:38calling me every fat name that I could even think of imaginable.
35:42It was probably the hardest for me hearing it come from my dad.
35:46I almost expected it from kids at school, but not from my own father.
35:51My brother saw how my dad treated me and it kind of grew on him.
35:55As we got older into teenage years, my brother would physically abuse me.
35:59The things he would say regarding my weight was absolutely horrific.
36:04Every bad thing that would ever happen to me in my life, I purely blamed it on my weight.
36:09If I got a bad grade, it was because of my weight.
36:11If a boy didn't want to go out with me, it was because of my weight.
36:14If a girl didn't want to go out with me, it was because of my weight.
36:17If I slipped and fell, it was because of my weight.
36:20Everything was because of my weight.
36:22I know it was all in my head at the time.
36:24A lot of it was because of my weight.
36:26My life was revolved around my weight.
36:28I gotta be honest, I've had quite a few relationships, hookups, friends with benefits,
36:33whatever you want to call it, in my life, which is quite shocking for someone my size.
36:37But I've only had a few relationships where it was truly people that cared about me and
36:44I cared about them.
36:45My first true, true, true relationship was with a girl named Cassidy.
36:49We met online.
36:50We talked to each other for almost a full year before we met in person.
36:54While we were an online relationship, a long distance relationship, I would send her pictures
37:00of my face.
37:00I made her understand that I was a bigger girl.
37:04I told her my weight and she really, really accepted that.
37:07Things were honestly freaking great when we first met.
37:10I was super nervous.
37:11I had butterflies in my stomach.
37:12My stomach was in freaking knots.
37:15I had faith that she was going to like me, that she was going to think I was beautiful.
37:18And I really wasn't worried at all.
37:21Then about a year later, I moved in with her.
37:23And as our relationship got more serious and more in depth, she was honest with me.
37:29And she told me that the first time she ever met me in person,
37:31she did not find me attractive whatsoever.
37:33I was freaking so shocked, so hurt, and so surprised.
37:39We weren't in a heated fight or anything.
37:41She was purely setting me down.
37:43And she was being honest that when we met in person, I wasn't attractive to her at all.
37:48It completely lowered my self-esteem a great deal.
37:53And I was never the same since then.
37:55She was that one person who I honestly thought would think I was beautiful unconditionally.
38:00Don't get me wrong.
38:01As time went on and we lived together, like, obviously she started finding me attractive
38:05because she started to get to know my personality.
38:08It still really scarred me.
38:10After Cassidy came Crystal.
38:12She was my second, like, true, honest, meaningful relationship.
38:16I have asked Crystal in the past what she expected when she first met me in person.
38:21And she told me she didn't know what to expect.
38:23I, too, as well, made her process in her head that I was a big girl and to please expect
38:30that.
38:31I was very hesitant because of what happened with Cassidy when it came to Crystal.
38:35But Crystal was... she had a softer heart.
38:38She was kinder, more understanding.
38:40So I really didn't think anything bad was gonna happen with that.
38:44When we met, she thought I was beautiful.
38:46And it made me feel really, really good.
38:49It helped with my self-esteem.
38:51I was finally with someone who accepted everything about me.
38:54A couple years in, though, she completely stopped telling me I was beautiful.
38:58I honestly didn't get compliments from her.
39:01That is when I thought I was doing something wrong.
39:05I thought my weight finally failed me in this relationship.
39:09My insecurities and my self-esteem had never been so low in my life.
39:15As everything is said and done now, Crystal does think I'm beautiful.
39:19She tells me on a day-to-day basis now that we're broken up, which is ironic.
39:22At the time, I literally felt like the ugliest person in the world.
39:26Through going through all that when I was a little girl
39:29and just past relationships where I didn't even feel beautiful,
39:32I have officially hit rock bottom in my insecurities and my self-esteem.
39:39I can look at you guys right now and tell you I am not the most beautiful person in the
39:44world.
39:44I am morbidly obese in society's eyes.
39:48That is disgusting.
39:50So when it comes to destiny, this is why I am super, super terrified of meeting her.
39:55I am literally constantly reminding her how fat I am, even as we're on FaceTime,
40:00where she can physically see this herself.
40:02But in my head, I feel like she's not understanding how big I truly am.
40:08You guys, I am constantly worried about what she's gonna think when we meet in person.
40:14This is honestly actually kind of embarrassing.
40:16I have...
40:20I've gone as far as to showing her naked pictures of me.
40:23I feel like if she sees it now before things get even more serious than they already are,
40:30if she doesn't like how I look, then there's not a potential in this relationship.
40:35This really haunts me.
40:37Even after all my insecurities and every single flaw that I have, and I have freaking millions,
40:44she still thinks I'm beautiful and she accepts everything I've ever told her about me.
40:49I don't want to push destiny away because she has really made me
40:55insanely happy at such a hard time in my life.
40:58She came into my life at the most perfect time.
41:00There's times when she tells me I'm beautiful and I question her truthfulness only because
41:04of my own reasons, my own...
41:07I'm scared to be lied to.
41:09It's hard for me to trust people.
41:11And I feel like my weight has really just messed with my head so hardcore.
41:16I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that I lost a lot of weight.
41:20I lost almost a hundred pounds and I never felt that good before.
41:26And then I gained every single pound back.
41:28I'm fat Amber all over again.
41:31Destiny is insanely understanding when it comes to my insecurities.
41:35I talked to her about them all the freaking time.
41:39Like I'm almost scared that I'm going to push her away or sabotage something that could be
41:43so freaking beautiful.
41:44You guys, aside from me being a nervous freaking wreck, I am so excited to meet her.
41:50I don't even...
41:52I can't even put it into words how excited I really am.
41:55We have such a strong connection.
41:56We have grown so close together.
41:59It's really crazy how technology has planted such a beautiful base for people to fall in love who
42:07normally wouldn't.
42:08I just can't wait to be in her arms and to be able to kiss her for the first time.
42:12I'm honestly so freaking excited.
42:15I'm very grateful that she accepts the person I am on the outside,
42:19but she also thinks I'm beautiful on the inside.
42:21On the inside, I'm a really, really good person.
42:23And she sees that and she points that out to me.
42:25A lot of people stop, stare, look at my body, and don't get to know me just because of how
42:31I look like
42:31on the outside.
42:32She actually got to know my inside and she got to see my appearance on the outside
42:37and she still fell in love with me.
42:38I really need to try my hardest just to let my insecurities go and embrace this new relationship
42:44like I've never embraced anything before.
42:46Destiny makes me want to be a better person.
42:48I haven't been able to say that in the longest freaking time.
42:51I don't know if this video diary was anything like I was even expecting to say
42:55or what you guys were expecting to hear, but I just figured for my first one,
42:59I should probably just talk about how insecure I am.
43:04It really is playing a big part in this soon-to-be relationship
43:08and I just hope that I don't ruin it.
43:10Destiny understands and that's all that matters,
43:12but this is currently just how I'm feeling.
43:14I hope you guys enjoyed and I'll see you in my next video.
43:17Bye.
43:17Hello, everybody.
43:18I cannot believe that today is Thursday.
43:22Next Thursday, I will be meeting Destiny.
43:25Like, holy f***ing s***.
43:27My least favorite thing about packing is having to put this part down
43:32and make them intertwine because I always mess up.
43:39I get so confused because it's like if this side is on top,
43:43then this side has to be underneath, which means this part has to be...
43:47I don't even know.
43:48Get in where you belong.
43:54It didn't take as long as I thought.
43:56Handy dandy tape.
43:58Got to tape this puppy down.
44:00That would suck if everything fell through through the bottom, right?
44:10So now I just tape it about 112 times.
44:18Got to make it as secure as possible.
44:28This is my last box too.
44:45I like to think everything as secure as possible now on here.
44:49What I like to do sometimes is flip it over and then put my hand down in it
44:56and press some weight to see if it's sturdy.
45:02Sturdy as can be.
45:03It's a big ol' box for big ol' stuff.
45:21All the books I'm taking are officially in the box.
45:25Now I just have other miscellaneous things in here like my George Foreman,
45:29a bunch of this random crap in there, bathing suit stuff, markers.
45:36The only thing I have to put in here is shoes and I'm pretty much done packing.
45:39Just sitting in the car right now, Crystal and I ran some errands.
45:44Right now we're in front of her sister's new place, which is actually really nice.
45:49I was not expecting it to look so freaking cute.
45:52I would show you but the address is showing and that's just...
45:55We had to drop off a few boxes for her.
45:57I decided to participate in Throwback Thursday and I posted a picture on Instagram.
46:02I'll show you guys the picture right now.
46:06That was when I weighed my lowest weight I ever weighed, which was 331 pounds.
46:12Since then, I have gained all my weight back.
46:14That was two years ago.
46:16It's very devastating to me.
46:18I felt absolutely amazing when I was that weight.
46:22I really don't know what happened and it's just...
46:24It really hurts to see that and I hope one day I can get to that point again.
46:28I really, really do.
46:29As I talked about a couple videos ago how I want to be a vegetarian,
46:33I have not yet taken the steps to do so.
46:36I do want to do as much research as possible.
46:38I'm also really stressed out and overwhelmed with all the emotions,
46:41all the packing, just the anticipation of meeting Destiny.
46:45I know completely stopping eating meat does a lot of things to your body
46:49because you're not used to it.
46:50So I don't want to add on even more stress right now.
46:52But when I do meet Destiny, I told her pretty much around that time
46:56is when I am going to try becoming vegetarian.
46:59I had someone ask me on Instagram if Destiny is a vegetarian.
47:04No, she's not.
47:05She eats meat.
47:06I'm purely doing this for myself, my own reasons.
47:09I don't know any vegetarians at all.
47:11So I had Chipotle for dinner.
47:13Normally, I get the chicken bowl.
47:15I wanted to try something different.
47:17I wanted to try the tofu bowl.
47:19I got it and I wanted to let you guys know what I thought of it.
47:21All tofu that I've normally tried or had,
47:24it all pretty much tastes the same and it's always like cut in these cubes.
47:28So that's what I was expecting.
47:29When I got the bowl, it kind of looked like ground turkey.
47:33I tasted it and it tasted just like chicken.
47:35Even the texture was like chicken.
47:37I really, really, really freaking enjoyed it.
47:39It actually clarified that I really can do this because I enjoy tofu.
47:44Crystal's dad felt all of my boxes and they were too heavy.
47:49So he made me put some stuff in bags.
47:52So I put like books and bags and then my jewelry is insanely heavy.
47:57I could barely pick it up even as Crystal.
47:59It's freaking heavy.
48:00So I took that out of the box too to make the boxes more light.
48:04Is the lighting in here?
48:05Another night of storms is happening.
48:07So I'm going to end this vlog.
48:09The power keeps flickering and I don't want to risk
48:12the power going out before I upload this video.
48:14I'll see you guys later.
48:15Bye.
48:16Bye.