00:00I come from a mixed-race family. I was a very quiet child growing up, very, very reserved,
00:05and I always felt that I was different from everyone else. I had an amazing relationship
00:10with all my siblings apart from my oldest brother. I was about eight years of age and I was in
00:15the
00:16bedroom and I was just doing my own thing, playing around, and he came into the bedroom. That's when
00:22he started playing around with me down in my private area, and he said, I can do anything
00:28to you. I was thinking, what's going on? Why is he doing this? And then he said, no, this
00:33is a normal thing. Keep this secret between me and you. And he repeated by saying, if you
00:39tell anyone, I will kill you. And then there was a cycle of it. And I can remember times
00:45when I'd go down to my mum, because sometimes I would be bleeding, and I'd say to my mum,
00:50why am I bleeding down there? She said, oh, that's a normal thing with boys. They go through
00:54all this. I was 14 at the time. He started having kidney-related problems, and then he
01:00was rushed into the hospital, and he never came out again. He died there at the age of
01:0417, 1980 of that year. He had renal failure, and how did I feel about that when he died?
01:10It was a weird feeling. It felt like something had been lifted when he died again. It was
01:15just a big relief, but a big sadness, because mum and dad never knew about what he did, and
01:21I was still scared to tell them, even though he was no longer here.
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