00:00The new firework freeze from 5-Hour Energy really makes me think about summer.
00:04And you know what I love about summer, Chuck?
00:06What?
00:06Freedom.
00:09Yeah, me too. Freedom from pants.
00:11Jesus, Chuck, put some pants on.
00:13What? It's summer.
00:24Um, we were just talking yesterday about this, you know,
00:30something you can do that you probably wouldn't tell anyone about
00:34because they wouldn't believe you because it's too weird.
00:37Okay.
00:38Right?
00:39A special talent you have.
00:41Oh, okay. Yeah.
00:41Remember that?
00:42Yeah.
00:42This guy who reached out to us says he does have something.
00:49He says, uh, I knew I had something to say.
00:53My hidden talent I'm good at is that I'm able to put my own penis in my A.
01:01This is what you bring to us, Dave?
01:03Well, see, he did say it was crazy.
01:06He did say it was crazy.
01:07It's not something I do regularly.
01:10But when I just want to have a little extra fun by myself,
01:13I can literally go F myself to completion in myself.
01:17Okay.
01:18I do not have any desires for another guy or anything else to go in there.
01:22Well.
01:23But sometimes I just want to give myself a visit.
01:26And we all believe him?
01:27I don't.
01:28No.
01:29Believe what?
01:29That he can do it?
01:30Or that he doesn't want another guy?
01:32No, he's, no, that he can do it.
01:34I think he's making this up.
01:36Oh.
01:36He's sending an email.
01:37Oh, I believe he can do it.
01:38We've seen it, right?
01:39Yeah, I believe he can do it.
01:41Yeah, I do believe him.
01:42Really?
01:42But I don't know about desires.
01:48Yeah.
01:49I mean, it's wild.
01:49Okay, so we've seen it?
01:50Have I seen it?
01:51I don't remember.
01:52You probably didn't watch it.
01:55Yeah.
01:55It was a, it blew my mind.
01:58Okay.
01:58Years ago.
01:59It's out there.
02:00It's out there.
02:00All right, so you all believe him.
02:01We've even seen the balls go in.
02:03Yeah.
02:04Oh.
02:05Yep.
02:06Huh.
02:07Yeah.
02:07B and the B and the B and the A.
02:09Oh, I do remember that.
02:11I remember all the A's, the B's.
02:13Yep.
02:13Okay.
02:14You might have went like this during that.
02:16Yeah.
02:16Because we talked about B's and the V's.
02:18Yeah, all the letters.
02:20All the letters came out that day.
02:21All of the letters.
02:23The P and the A.
02:24Okay, so we said, you know, I think one of the things that came up during this discussion,
02:28something you're good at, but too embarrassed to admit, was a guy who had texted or called
02:33and said he could suck himself.
02:34Yeah.
02:34Right?
02:35Yeah.
02:35And that, that's similar but different.
02:39I think this is way worse.
02:43I don't know.
02:44I'm, I'm on the fence about this.
02:46Self effing or self sucking?
02:48What's worse in terms of what?
02:50I've always said this.
02:51We had this.
02:52We've had this conversation before.
02:55Self effing, self sucking?
02:57And I believe.
02:58We've never talked like that.
02:59That sucking.
03:00We have.
03:02Is more intimate.
03:04Than effing yourself?
03:06It's more intimate.
03:08Getting up and close.
03:10I'm in myself.
03:11Well, no, but I mean, my, your mouth being on it and your face being right there.
03:18That's so intimate.
03:19And I apologize in advance.
03:21Uh oh.
03:22But when yourself sucking.
03:25Uh huh.
03:26And it completely.
03:27Are you finishing?
03:28Oh yeah, they are.
03:29Yeah, they are.
03:30Within yourself?
03:31Yes, they are.
03:32Because then that is definitely more intimate.
03:34I think it's more intimate.
03:36Finishing.
03:36If you taste yourself.
03:37Right.
03:38What's what Lisa?
03:39I saw a new doctor this week and he might listen to the show now.
03:43Like he said he was going to check it out.
03:45Should we call him and ask her?
03:46I'm so worried.
03:47Sorry, no, I don't think he could help with that, but he listens to another show in town
03:53and I was like, can we give us a, you know?
03:56No, you should never have told him.
03:58Don't ever do that.
03:59I didn't say give us a chance.
04:00I just said this is, he's like, well, what are you talking about?
04:02And I said, well, we just talk about the news and make fun of stuff.
04:05I always.
04:06No, we play stories and then we, and it's real light and funny.
04:10I always tell people don't listen.
04:12I always tell people don't.
04:12Talk about self-sucking and self-effing.
04:15That's what we talk about.
04:16You ready for that, doc?
04:17Hey, doc.
04:17Can you handle it?
04:18Are you ready for a man to put his own penis in his butt?
04:22What about tasting yourself?
04:23You ever taste yourself?
04:25Huh?
04:25I told him if you don't like it, don't tell me.
04:27Next time I see you.
04:28He's like, oh, I won't worry.
04:31Yeah, I'm always telling people not to listen.
04:33I mean, I don't really want them to listen, but they're going to listen.
04:37I'd rather people don't.
04:37It's like, what do you do for a living?
04:39And then I'm like, this is what I do.
04:41It always seems like the only people who, when they find out what I do and they, and
04:47like, they don't, had no idea what I do and they, oh, I should listen.
04:52It's always like an 80 year old woman.
04:56Totally.
04:57It's always someone that I, I would.
04:59My friend's parents started to listen.
05:01Yes, that's the thing.
05:02Are you kidding me?
05:03They used to think I was so nice.
05:04Well, my pelvic floor lady started to listen, too.
05:07We're getting all of our guys.
05:08Well, she was in you.
05:09She was.
05:10Yeah, it's different.
05:12You were in me.
05:13Hi, lady that's been in Jason.
05:14The only person that's ever been in me.
05:17Thank you for listening.
05:17I think most of the people that have been in me have been listening.
05:23Well, that would be a nice talk at your next visit.
05:25Yeah.
05:25Hopefully it doesn't come up.
05:26What do you think's more intimate?
05:28It's all that made or it's all that?
05:30I hope he's not listening right now.
05:30We've talked about it a couple times.
05:32I do think, I get what you're saying about the intimacy of it being in your face, but
05:37I feel like something in your rear is more intimate.
05:41It's close.
05:42I know they're both questionable, but, and finishing in your rear.
05:47I'd rather finish in there than finish up here.
05:51I think so, too.
05:52Yeah, okay.
05:54Okay.
05:55If you didn't, okay.
05:56If you're not a part of the finish up here.
05:59I mean, if you're not a part of the finish, but I've even said, like, I think that you
06:03can, like, bang someone and it means almost nothing.
06:08You know?
06:10And then someone could decide, I'm going to go down there for you.
06:16And, like, to me, it's, like, such a honor.
06:20Like, we talked about it before.
06:22If you would be.
06:22Oh, it's such an honor to go down there.
06:25Well, like, no, would you be less upset or more upset?
06:30You know?
06:32If your girlfriend just blew somebody, there are some people like, oh, they just blew them
06:36big deal.
06:37And I'm like, oh, I think it's way more than just a big deal.
06:40You think than her getting effed?
06:41You think if your lady blew someone.
06:42I think it's bad.
06:43Okay, but what do you think?
06:44But I'm not letting you off the hook for just a BJ.
06:47I want you to clarify, though.
06:47What's worse?
06:48Your lady being effed by someone else or your lady blowing someone else?
06:51Which would you consider worse?
06:53Oh, my lady?
06:54Uh, I honestly, I put them exactly equal.
07:00I put them exact like you've you violated the terms.
07:04I will exactly equally.
07:06Yeah, both are cheating equally in my book.
07:08Yes.
07:09But when I think about on a.
07:12Like on a personal level.
07:16Just like going to a place and just like putting it in somebody and banging and being done and
07:22then like going through the rigmarole of like kissing, going down on somebody for play.
07:31That to me is more intimate.
07:33It can be more intimate than just banging.
07:35Lisa, someone said next time someone asks what you do, you should just say a little bit
07:39of this, a little bit of that.
07:40Yeah.
07:41A little of that.
07:43Don't worry yourself.
07:44Don't worry.
07:45Don't worry about it.
07:46Uh, Gemma is with us here.
07:48Hi, Gemma.
07:50Hey.
07:51Hey, what's your comment?
07:52Well, in the swinger community, you know, it depends where you finish.
07:58So I would rather it happen on my face versus down there.
08:02I feel like I'm more intimate with someone if they're finishing down there.
08:06And I use condoms for inside.
08:09So, you know, but it's more intimate for them if they get to finish up there too.
08:15Okay.
08:16Uh, what do you think, uh, if your man could do this, would you rather he be able to suck
08:23himself or F himself?
08:26Um, well, my favorite thing is sucking.
08:30So I would rather be sucking.
08:33But I would want to see both just to, just to compare.
08:37Yeah.
08:37Gemma, thank you.
08:38Sucker Gemma.
08:39Thank you for calling in.
08:40Yeah.
08:41Gold medal.
08:42You're welcome.
08:42Yep.
08:44I love to suck.
08:46Myself.
08:47My God.
08:49I just want to finish on my face.
08:51Hmm.
08:53I don't know, guys.
08:54I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
08:55Yeah.
08:56Just a little bit of this.
08:57Don't worry about it.
08:57I'm just going to write that on the forums when they're like, what is your occupation?
09:00A little bit of this?
09:01A little bit of this and a little bit of that.
09:05That's all they need to know.
09:07I'm going to do it.
09:08Employer none your business.
09:10I'm going to change my bio right now.
09:12A little bit of this.
09:14A little bit of that.
09:15Me too.
09:15I'm going to change my bio.
09:16Yeah, change your bio.
09:20What do you do for a living?
09:22A little bit of this.
09:25A little bit of that.
09:30I'm not sure my bio makes any more sense anymore anyway, so.
09:35But for real, Doc, is it okay to bang yourself?
09:39Follow-up question.
09:42So to the listener who bangs himself.
09:45I want to know, do they have a woman in their life?
09:48I wonder what their status is on their love life.
09:51Do you have a lady?
09:53What does she think?
09:54A little bit of this.
09:55Do you have a lady?
09:57What does she think about it?
10:00If she doesn't know, don't tell her.
10:04Lisa says, if she doesn't know, don't tell her.
10:13Or she asks what you do when you're by yourself.
10:16Just a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
10:19Yeah, what are you doing in there?
10:20A little bit of this.
10:21A little bit of that.
10:23Mind your business.
10:28There's a lot of times I wish I answered with that, you know?
10:31Oh, me too.
10:32You know?
10:32Yeah.
10:33I agree.
10:33It's a good answer.
10:35It is.
10:36Oh, a little bit of this.
10:37A little bit of that.
10:38Yep.
10:39Anyway.
10:40Thanks for your email.
10:42Yes, we appreciate it.
10:44Yeah, it's a hell of a talent.
10:45Thanks for listening.
Comments