00:00Hello, you're through to Santa's office.
00:01Hi, is this really Father Christmas?
00:04That's right, we're his elves. Is there anything I can help with?
00:06It's a bit cheeky, but I know he's been there.
00:09Can I speak to Father Christmas?
00:14Father Christmas here?
00:19Hello?
00:20Hi, okay?
00:22Yes, I'm very well, thank you.
00:27And how are you?
00:28I'm okay, Santa. I'm okay. Is this a real Santa?
00:39Am I on the good list? My name's Tim, I'm three nearly six.
00:43Oh, I know all about you, Tim.
00:45And I'm pleased to say that, yes, this year you are on the good list.
00:53I knew it, I knew it.
00:54That's because I helped that old lady across the road, wasn't it?
00:57Yes, Tim, that's exactly right.
01:00I'm glad you didn't see me pinch and purse.
01:01Did you get my letter?
01:03Yes, we receive all children's letters.
01:06Amazing.
01:06At the top of the list, it says I want Haribo.
01:10Scrap the Haribo.
01:11I've changed my mind, I don't want a Haribo.
01:14May I eat the Haribo instead?
01:17No, that's going to be further down the list.
01:19They'll be cheaper.
01:20The top of the list, it was, please, Santa, please may I get little plastic bags for Smackhead Steve and
01:29his sherbet to go in it.
01:31Second, can I get some new neon lights for Uncle Bobby's plants in the attic?
01:35Third, it was weight loss tablets for my mum.
01:38See, that's nice, isn't it?
01:39That's why I'm still on a nice list.
01:41It is very nice that you're getting things for other people, Tim, but maybe they would appreciate a hand-drawn
01:50card or something.
01:53I've not got time for that.
01:54How about I get my mum 20 sterling joule and a lighter?
02:00Well, you know, Tim, smoking is bad for you.
02:03Sick of telling her.
02:04All people who smoke are on the naughty list.
02:07Don't I mean, why may Ben from year three is on the naughty list?
02:13You're telling me that Ben in year three smokes?
02:19Yeah, only when he's put on fire.
02:21And we do it as a joke, we do it as a joke.
02:24We don't propaganda.
02:25Yes, well, you should definitely stop doing that.
02:29Yeah, we'll stop doing it.
02:30Why do you think I should get my girlfriend Chardonnay?
02:33She's already got the best thing that I could get.
02:35Me.
02:35What do I get that's better than me?
02:37Nothing.
02:38Well, what does she like, Tim?
02:40Me.
02:41What does Chardonnay like to do?
02:43Me.
02:52Right, I'm going to go and think about what I'm going to get for Chardonnay.
02:56See you in a bit, Father Christmas.
02:59Goodbye, Timothy.
03:00Love you.
03:02Bye, Timothy.
03:04Love you.
03:06Yes, Santa has love for everybody, Tim.
03:08Goodbye.
03:09Bye.
03:10Bye.
03:10Bye.
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