00:00Is that a stand-up comedian?
00:02I'm a stand-up comedian, yeah. Who's this?
00:04Hi, my name's Tim.
00:06Hello, Tim. How you doing, mate?
00:08I'm funnier than you.
00:10The only person that's funnier than me
00:12is my girlfriend Chardonnay
00:14because she eats crayons.
00:15She's very colourful.
00:18You want to start opening for me, you?
00:20Nah, the people won't want to see you after me.
00:24People don't want to see me anyway.
00:26Go on then, tell me a joke.
00:28Eh, why can't dinosaurs clap?
00:30Well, they're extinct, aren't they?
00:34Funny.
00:35Yeah, that's the same reaction I always get that, Tim.
00:38Right, I've got one.
00:40Erm, knock, knock.
00:41Who's there?
00:42The little man who can't reach the doorbell.
00:46I'm stealing that one.
00:47I'm going to open my set for that one.
00:48I won't open. I won't open with it.
00:51Maybe I'll be in the middle.
00:52Have you got any more jokes?
00:54What do you call a sheep that sings music?
00:57I don't know.
00:58Lady Barber.
01:00Lady Barber, Tim.
01:03I won't even have that in the middle.
01:05I'll drop that one.
01:06Why did the chicken cross the road?
01:08I don't know, Tim.
01:08Why did the chicken cross the road?
01:10Skittered over the side.
01:12That's a classic, that's it.
01:14Right.
01:14You can't drop that one.
01:15It's a classic.
01:16Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
01:19Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
01:20Stuck to the chicken's foot.
01:24That's a classic, that's a good one.
01:26I've not heard that one, Tim.
01:27I've not heard that one.
01:28You can have that one.
01:30You can have that.
01:30How have you got my number, Tim?
01:32I got your number off one of my mates, my mate Ben from Year 3.
01:36He said he's seen you on YouTube and he said that you're funny.
01:41Yeah, that's good, Ben.
01:43That's good.
01:43He must be one of the only 30 views on my YouTube, Ben.
01:46Oh, it's definitely more than that.
01:49You've got 31 now.
01:52I kept wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger.
01:56And then it hit me.
01:57And then it hit you.
01:58I've heard that one before.
01:59My Uncle Boris said that.
02:01I invented that one, Tim, you know.
02:03I don't know if you invented it, but my Uncle Boris told me that
02:06and he's not even funny.
02:09What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroo?
02:13I don't know, mate.
02:14One jumping around Australia, the other one stuck in a lift in Newcastle.
02:20You are funnier than me, I'll give you that.
02:23What do you think I should do, then, about doing comedy?
02:26Should I get on stage, just go and smash out an arena or two,
02:31make loads of money?
02:33Yeah, I think, Tim, I think if you start young like you are,
02:36I think you'll be smashing out arenas by the time you're a bit older.
02:39Plus.
02:39I mean, otherwise you could be smashing out Toby Carverly like I am every Friday.
02:46I love to smash out on Toby Carverly.
02:50Wait, I've got a good joke for you.
02:51What colour's your phone?
02:54My phone's black.
02:56Why, OK.
02:58I had a joke, but I can't say that one.
03:00I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't
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03:01I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't
03:02say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that
03:02one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but
03:03I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't
03:03say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that one, but I can't say that
03:03one, but I can't say that
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