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DRAG☆FOLKS
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Transcript
00:06We made it, bitches.
00:08You sure did.
00:09Four of us.
00:10Today's our final challenge.
00:11It's every woman for herself from here on out.
00:14We're on our own, girls.
00:15We are.
00:16I know, no more teams.
00:18How does it feel that there's four of us left and not three?
00:20I'm okay with it.
00:21Really?
00:23Granted, it's one more person standing in my way of putting that crown on my head.
00:27Mm-hmm.
00:28But I'm cool.
00:30Well, send us home.
00:32The thing is, we're all friends, yet there's still this grand prize and this title that I very much so
00:38want.
00:38You want, you want, you want.
00:41And now this is the time to show we can work better by ourselves.
00:44Right.
00:45Sisterhood aside, friendships aside, I want to win.
00:48I want to get into the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
00:51So what do you think Rue's got in store for us today?
00:53I'm assuming something with the video.
00:55I hope it's the video.
00:56I hope it involves an absolute cocktail.
01:02Girl, you got a she-mail.
01:04Hello, my top all-stars.
01:06Seems we just get started.
01:08And before you know it, comes the time we have to say,
01:11Get your ass in gear, ladies.
01:14Are your hearts raising?
01:15Are you running out of steam?
01:16Well, pull yourself together.
01:18Because it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world.
01:21And you've got a date with destiny.
01:24Oh, and winning is what becomes a legend most.
01:29Hello, hello, hello.
01:31Good morning.
01:31Good morning.
01:33Four queens, one crown, no more teams.
01:37This is not RuPaul's best friend race anymore.
01:41Because only one of you will be inducted into the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
01:45And it all comes down to this.
01:48Hashtag all-stars finale.
01:52For your final all-stars challenge, you'll be taking your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent on the road.
01:58As the four of you headline an all-star comedy review at the world-famous Comedy Store.
02:06You'll need to work up a she-larious routine that kills the peoples.
02:11And to help you find your funny, you'll have one-on-one time with our extra special guest judge, SNL
02:18alum, Sherry Oteri.
02:20Oh, my God.
02:22Sherry Oteri is going to be here.
02:23I'm going to f*** myself.
02:25And this week on the main stage, our extra special guest judge will be rock goddess Beth Ditto from Gossip.
02:32Cool.
02:33Wow.
02:33Beth Ditto is such a ferocious diva.
02:36I'm so excited.
02:37A true all-star is always in demand.
02:40And your calendars are filling up.
02:43Tomorrow, in addition to your all-star comedy review, you've been booked for not one, but two other gigs.
02:52First, you'll leave here for an early morning interview with celebrity reporter Mark Melkin.
02:58Then you'll rush off to make a personal appearance, and you'll receive a special honor.
03:03More details to come.
03:05Now, you need to prepare three different all-star looks, from wigs to heels.
03:11And you'll be racing to each location in dragmobiles, unsafe at any speed.
03:16Oh, my God.
03:18This one last final challenge is probably the most difficult in drag race history.
03:22Remember, I'm looking for the all-star who shines the brightest.
03:27This is it.
03:29Gentlemen, start your engines.
03:31And may the best woman win.
03:33Yes.
03:36So we need to have, like, an outfit that we prefer to perform in, an outfit to interview in, and
03:42then an outfit to accept an award in.
03:44Yes.
03:46Jesus.
03:46Jesus.
03:48Okay.
03:49Okay.
03:49One down, bitches.
03:51I have diarrhea now.
03:55Hi, Sherry.
03:57Hi, Juju.
03:58It's time for my lesson with Sherry Oteri, and I can't believe that I'm in the same room as this
04:03legendary comedian.
04:04Let's see it.
04:05Okay.
04:06So my parents immigrated from Laos to America in 1976.
04:09They swam here.
04:12I'm just kidding.
04:13If you're going to make a joke, commit to it.
04:16Okay.
04:17Let me start by telling you about my government name.
04:21It's Airline.
04:22Oh, wait.
04:22Is that really your name, Airline?
04:24It is.
04:24What were they thinking?
04:26Baby, I think that was the only word they saw when they came to America.
04:28Okay, that is funny.
04:29I think you should say that.
04:30I love when people talk about their family.
04:32Okay.
04:33The funniest thing about my name is that my grandmother could never, ever get it right.
04:38That's great.
04:38But what did she wear?
04:40Okay.
04:40You know, and what did she walk like?
04:42And you can even exaggerate.
04:43Okay.
04:44Stand-up is so hard.
04:46I can be funny just being me, but forcing funny is not easy.
04:50You know, you're really funny if your family never talks to you again.
04:55I am 41 years old.
04:57You know the store Forever 21?
04:59Well, honey, I'm opening up Forever 41, darling.
05:02You know, as a cougar, I am developing a fupa.
05:05I'm going to give them a little bit of, like, a visual joke.
05:09I don't think you need that.
05:11And the Botox?
05:12I don't even want to talk about the Botox because I haven't been able to show emotion since 2003.
05:16Try not to repeat jokes that you might have heard somewhere else.
05:20And whenever you say a joke, say it with such confidence because if people feel that you're rushing, they think
05:26you're rushing for a reason.
05:27You know, it's like I secretly want to get this done and over with.
05:29This is terrifying.
05:31Of course it is, because you are there on your own.
05:33This is by far the hardest challenge of the competition, and it scares the s*** out of me.
05:38I don't want to s*** up.
05:41Hey, y'all, how's everybody feeling in there tonight?
05:44Woo!
05:45All right, I am a 32-year-old white man, and I am living in a black woman's body, baby.
05:50I drink wine, I smoke cigarettes.
05:53Mm-mm.
05:54No, we don't like that.
05:55You said I'm a black woman, and I smoke, and I drink.
05:59I don't think it's fair.
06:00Stereotyping.
06:01That's why I said I'm a white man who smokes and drinks, but that I'm also trapped in a black
06:07woman's body.
06:08I wasn't ever trying to convey that black women smoke and drink.
06:11Oh, that's what it sounded like.
06:12You want to make sure if you are going to go where, you know, something with race, you're not offensive.
06:16Okay.
06:18And you know, I have a big ass and an attitude to match.
06:22As a female impersonator, that's how I like to think of myself.
06:25If I were you, that is your material right there.
06:27Whenever anything comes from your own experience,
06:29Mm-hmm.
06:30That's gold.
06:31But it feels just a little scattered.
06:33Damn.
06:34I gotta kind of rethink everything now because I cannot f*** this up.
06:40I am going to poke fun at myself and the fact that I'm a whore.
06:43Okay.
06:44And a slut.
06:45So use me as your audience member.
06:47Okay.
06:48Okay?
06:49So, uh, we're gonna, I'm, uh, obviously I'm Raven.
06:53I'm looking for friends with benefits.
06:55I'm not talking about benefits as far as dental plan or medical bills.
07:00I just want you to hit it.
07:02I start telling Sherry what I want to do for my routine and I can tell she's looking at
07:07me like you are out of your mind.
07:09So you're just saying, like, that you're a whore.
07:12Yeah.
07:13Here's the thing.
07:13You want to have a hook.
07:15Get right to the jokes because you don't have much time.
07:17So I should start right off with the one night center person.
07:20Stop talking to me.
07:20Okay.
07:21I don't see you.
07:22Um, in the last relationship I had, actually, I met this guy in jail.
07:27And when the, uh, what are those people called?
07:32Okay.
07:33Here's the thing.
07:34Your time's going to be over so quick.
07:36You got to make sure you have some good laughs.
07:39I'm feeling very nervous about this because I don't know if this routine is going to work
07:43out and my spot in the hall of fame is on the line.
07:46So then basically I need to just rewrite the whole thing.
07:50Coming up, gentlemen, may the best woman win.
07:55Bye, bitches.
07:56Let's go.
07:56Hit it, Anjina.
07:57Step on it.
07:57I'm trying.
07:59You know what?
08:00Honestly, I've always felt like that person that goes out and represents RuPaul and his
08:03legacy on this show.
08:05Are you kidding me?
08:14All right, all stars.
08:16These are your drag mobiles.
08:20It is finally time to start our final challenge, the mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad race.
08:25There is $100,000 on the line and the first spot in the drag race hall of fame.
08:30Chanel and Jujubee, your driver is Delta Work.
08:36Chad and Raven, your driver is Anjina.
08:41Hey, baby.
08:43You may be sharing a ride, but when it comes to the competition, you're on your own.
08:50So ladies, tuckle up for safety.
08:55Gentlemen, may the best woman win.
08:59Let's go, baby.
09:01Get there, girl.
09:02Go.
09:03Hit it, Anjina.
09:04Okay.
09:04You ready?
09:05So we get into our drag mobiles and we receive the first clue today in regards to our first
09:10destination in this challenge.
09:11Four all-stars, one interview.
09:14Be prepared to charm E!
09:15Entertainment reporter Mark Malkin.
09:17Who will steal the spotlight?
09:20Remember, E!
09:20is a mainstream media outlet.
09:22Be yourself, but don't get too crude.
09:25That leads you out, Chanel.
09:29There you go.
09:30VIP service.
09:31Love you, girls.
09:32Good luck.
09:33Let's go, girl.
09:34Make it happen.
09:34All right.
09:35Okay.
09:37Come on, bitches.
09:38Let's go.
09:38Let's go.
09:39Let's go.
09:41This is a group interview.
09:42There's four of us, so to actually nail it, it's absolutely important to outshine everyone
09:47else.
09:48Hello, all-stars.
09:49How are you?
09:50Great.
09:50How are you?
09:51And you're the top four.
09:52We are.
09:54So this is a tough shot.
09:55Why did you come back?
09:57Are you kidding me?
09:59Why not?
10:00Excuse my language.
10:01I'm a little sorry about that.
10:04Now, the grand prize of $100,000.
10:06You know what?
10:07Honestly, for me, it is about being that person that goes out and represents Rube
10:11Paul at the end of this shot.
10:12Really?
10:13Any of us would be lying to say we don't want the $100,000.
10:16What is the guilty pleasure you're going to buy?
10:18The first thing you're going to buy, if you get the money.
10:20I want a vacation.
10:21You know, the thing is...
10:22The first thing I'm going to do is put the money up before I blow the rest of it.
10:26You know what?
10:26I spend Jesus saves.
10:28I want a trip to Australia.
10:30I've always wanted to go to Sydney.
10:31You know what?
10:33I'll help you pack your bags.
10:35I was waiting for my turn.
10:37But apparently, in a situation where there are three other drag queens, you just kind
10:40of have to fight for your time.
10:42Who are some of your celebrity inspirations?
10:44I was told I look like Kris Jenner.
10:45I was thinking the same thing.
10:48I'm a little more old school.
10:50I love the Joan Crawfords and the Betty Davises.
10:52The women of yesteryear had so much to them.
10:55And I loved the fashions and the glamour and the glitz and cinched waists and peplums.
11:00And Chanel's just kind of talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking.
11:07I think that's it then.
11:09Good luck.
11:11Appreciate it.
11:11Bye-bye.
11:12I have to say, I think I did a pretty damn good job on this part of the challenge.
11:17Go, bitches.
11:18Go, go, go, go, go, go.
11:19My God, how was it?
11:20It was fierce.
11:21Oh, my God.
11:22He's totally killed.
11:23Honey, he's bringing back the bow tie, bitch.
11:24I'll get the door.
11:27Bye, bitches.
11:28Oh, my gosh.
11:29Hit it, girl.
11:32Do tell the tea, honey.
11:34Okay.
11:35Hey, Mary.
11:35Hamburger Mary's is naming a burger after you.
11:38They're holding a press conference and you are the star.
11:40Be prepared to wow the crowd.
11:43So for the second part of our challenge today, a hamburger is being named after us and that's
11:47a huge deal.
11:48Oh, my gosh.
11:49Oh, my gosh.
11:49Okay, so basically we're going to have to make a speech.
11:52Oh, my God.
11:53I'm so dumb.
11:54I know.
11:58Oh, my God.
12:00You have 10 minutes.
12:01You have to change, like, right now.
12:03Oh, my God.
12:03Okay.
12:03Hold on to your seats.
12:10Nar.
12:10I didn't even get my wig on.
12:13I know this is RuPaul's Drag Race, but damn.
12:16Oh, this bitch is bumpy.
12:18This is crazy.
12:19It's the Keystone Cop.
12:20Okay.
12:21I need that fly for now.
12:24Oh, my God.
12:26Oh, my God.
12:27I feel as though the interview was a little weak for me, so I got to step up my game
12:30and
12:31rebound from this.
12:31No more Mr. Nice Bitch.
12:34Hamburger Mary's.
12:35How are you guys doing?
12:37We are thrilled to have you all here, and I would like to introduce Mayor John Duran.
12:42I declare today RuPaul's Drag Race All-Star Day in the city of West Hollywood.
12:48To be a representative of RuPaul, you have to be funny.
12:51You have to be relatable and convey an image, and that's what we have to do with this part
12:56of the challenge.
12:57What a privilege it is for me to have my very own signature hamburger that will now be available
13:04at all 12 of the Hamburger Mary's locations throughout the entire nation.
13:10Let me tell you a little bit about my meat, ladies and gentlemen.
13:13It is a half pound of our free-range organic ground beef, a seared slice of Granny Smith
13:19apple dipped in honey.
13:20I love honey.
13:22Mary herself melts on top hot pepper jack cheese.
13:29Ooh, ooh with me.
13:31Just when you thought you couldn't handle any more, there's one more ingredient.
13:36Pesto sauce slapped right between both of those buns.
13:42And now I can officially say that you can f***ing eat me.
13:59Ooh, the Jujubee Signature Burger is just so good and such.
14:06Hamburger Mary's, where straights and gays can meet, drink, and be what?
14:13Mary's!
14:19As a token of your esteem and achievement, I'm here to present you with this official proclamation
14:24and the official key to the city of West Hollywood.
14:27This is truly an honor.
14:29West Hollywood is a place that I hold really near and dear to my heart because you guys
14:34can appreciate what we do.
14:35And that's why this means so much to me.
14:36Thank you so much.
14:39I'm really proud of myself right now.
14:41My finesse and my heart are what's going to push me all the way into the Drag Race Hall of
14:45Fame.
14:46We love you, drag!
14:48Coming up, are you ready for an all-star comedy review?
14:53Girl, where are we at?
14:55I think we're lost.
14:56We need to go the other way.
14:57Oh my gosh.
14:58There's traffic.
14:59Girl, we're going to miss it.
15:08We just wrapped up our speeches at Hamburger Mary's, and now we have to get to the comedy
15:13store and do our last part of the challenge, the stand-up routine.
15:17Girl, we've got to hurry.
15:17We've got to get to the comedy store, girl.
15:19Do you have your comedy stunts ready, girl?
15:21Honey, I was born ready, bitch.
15:22Yeah, so hit it.
15:24We have no idea who's in the lead right now.
15:25We just have to try and nail this comedy routine.
15:28I would be lying if I said I was not nervous.
15:33Would you guys say that this is the hardest challenge so far?
15:36Absolutely.
15:37Really?
15:37This is the hardest challenge ever.
15:39Yeah, I didn't do too good one foot up to the comedy challenge.
15:42What you personally find funny and what other people find funny are two completely different
15:46things.
15:47So how did you get through it?
15:49Well, I didn't.
15:50I went home.
15:54Girl, oh my gosh, we're going to miss it.
15:56Oh my God, we're never going to get to it.
15:58No, we're not.
15:59Where the f*** are we at?
16:00Is this La Cienega?
16:01Wait, hold on.
16:03Ooh, trade on the right, hunty.
16:06Trade on, oh my God.
16:07Vagina.
16:07Yeah.
16:08Hit it.
16:08Step on it.
16:09I'm trying.
16:10There's traffic.
16:11We only have a few minutes.
16:12Yeah, swerve through this traffic.
16:16It's right there on the left.
16:17I can see the sign, that round white sign.
16:19That's it.
16:19That's it.
16:20Right there.
16:22All right, ladies.
16:23Killing with funny.
16:24Good luck.
16:26Do your best.
16:28I love you.
16:28Love you guys.
16:36Oh my God.
16:37Hello.
16:40Are you ready for an all-star comedy review?
16:45Everyone is so terrified and it's scary.
16:49We only have five minutes.
16:50Give a warm Hollywood welcome to Jujubee.
16:58I'm so nervous right now.
17:00It's the final challenge.
17:01Anybody could win.
17:02Hopefully it's me.
17:08So first things first, right?
17:10I was born a drag queen and the afterbirth was glitter.
17:14When I came out, I had a matte lip glass in one hand.
17:18The other one was a jazz hand.
17:20Everybody do a jazz hand with me, darling.
17:22Woo!
17:24So basically, I pop out and they named me Airline.
17:29I mean, my parents must have been on some good s***.
17:33The funniest part about my name really is that my grandma can't say it.
17:38Picture this, okay?
17:39Old Asian lady.
17:42Titties down to here.
17:45Ellen.
17:47Ellen, I come home and all I see.
17:49Wigs, underwear, panty, blue posse, D.
17:52I don't know what is going on with your head.
17:56Are you gay?
18:00Well, kind of.
18:09You know, I feel really confident.
18:15I hope that crown is nice and heavy and shiny.
18:17Up next, Chad Michaels.
18:20How's everybody doing?
18:24So, I am from San Diego, California, the meth capital of the world, and I'm really happy
18:30to be here, ladies and gentlemen.
18:32So, you know, I'm 41 years old, and I am a self-proclaimed drag cougar.
18:37Ooh!
18:39I have resorted to plastic surgery to maintain my looks.
18:42And as I said, I'm from San Diego, which is only a short 20-minute drive from the finest
18:47surgeons that Tijuana has to offer.
18:50Don't think for one minute that I have not taken advantage of those Fiesta Day blowout deals
18:55on silicone.
18:55Honey!
18:57Fill them up, Pepe, honey.
19:00And my doctor, Dr. Bendito, finally gave me cheeks that I can see.
19:06Literally, I can see them.
19:09It is very distracting, but it's a rough road.
19:15Aww!
19:18I mean, you guys think that these are my tits, and they're not.
19:21They're my balls.
19:22I just pushed them up.
19:23They're hanging so low.
19:25You guys are wonderful.
19:26I want to thank you guys so much.
19:27You've been a fantastic audience.
19:32Oh, my God.
19:33I went over.
19:35And now, Raven!
19:38Hi, everybody!
19:41Well, I apologize, first of all, for my outfit.
19:43It's laundry day.
19:45And that's probably why I'm single.
19:48You know, I do have relationships, and they usually last a couple hours.
19:53My relationships usually end unconventionally.
19:58Either last call, security flashes their light in your car,
20:03or the warden comes and tells you you've been released.
20:07Anyone been in jail in here?
20:10Prostitution, right?
20:14So, I go to jail, and I met the man of my dreams.
20:17And it is true love.
20:19This was a 25-hour relationship.
20:22I never got his name, because who cares?
20:24So, I'm going to call him Anfernee.
20:27Because I like that name.
20:29And when you get drunk, it sounds like it should be pronounced Anfernee.
20:33So, we meet in the same cell.
20:36So, we already were off to a good start.
20:38I'm feeling him, and he's trying to feel on me.
20:40And I told him, look, you want to feel on me, you better get me a drink.
20:45That's how I usually do it.
20:46That's how I was going to do it up in jail.
20:49So, he decides to take me over to his bunk, and he sleeps on the tops, or match made heaven.
20:54And then, the warden came and took me and said, you've got to go home.
20:57So, what did I do?
20:57I looked at him and said, peace out, bitch.
20:59I've got to go.
21:05I am having a blast.
21:07I want another five minutes.
21:09Up next, Chanel.
21:13What's up?
21:15I'm a 32-year-old white man living in a black woman's body.
21:19That is how I feel.
21:22And that's some truth right there.
21:25People say to me all the time, Chanel, why you got such judgmental eyebrows?
21:29Bitch.
21:31I said, judgmental eyebrows, baby, maybe you're just real insecure, honey.
21:36But when I had looked up in the mirror this morning, I got real scared, real quick.
21:41Look at this hair.
21:42This is the Charmin bear that had exploded right up all over my head, honey.
21:48I had stuck my finger into the slide sock.
21:52How many of y'all out here wear pantyhose?
21:56As a drag queen, my issue with pantyhose is,
21:59There's no room for a penis.
22:04She has been an amazing audience.
22:08That was so f***ing awesome.
22:10I am getting into the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
22:13Coming up, it is our final day in the workroom,
22:15and some b***h at the end of today is going to be in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
22:31It's our last day.
22:34It is our final day in the workroom, and some b***h at the end of today is going to be
22:39in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
22:41Yesterday was off the hook.
22:42It was a challenge, baby.
22:45For our final challenge, we had to do an interview with an entertainment reporter,
22:48give a speech at a personal appearance, and do a stand-up comedy routine.
22:51You know what, though?
22:52We've all gotten to this point before the last time we competed,
22:54but it feels like a lot more pressure.
22:57This is definitely a lot more pressure.
22:58Winning this entire competition means everything.
23:00It's the Super Bowl of Drag.
23:02You want Rue to look at you and say you were the best.
23:07Period.
23:08I don't want to talk to you bitches anymore, because I've got to get ready.
23:14So why do you think you belong in the Drag Race Hall of Fame?
23:17Because I have charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent, and damn it, I'm a winner, baby.
23:22Girl.
23:22What about you, Chad?
23:23Because I'm the past, present, and future of drag.
23:25I think I deserve the title, because I think that I embody what Rue is looking for,
23:31and I have the it factor.
23:34I think I deserve to be in the Drag Race Hall of Fame,
23:38because I do a lot of character illusions, I can juggle, I can ride unicycles.
23:43Record scratch.
23:44What?
23:44I don't let wardrobe wear me, I wear it.
23:47And that in itself is an art.
23:49I put so much power and passion into the art form.
23:52I feel that I can emulate the essence of what femininity and couture is, and I enjoy it.
23:59I want to win.
24:01I deserve to win.
24:02I'm a badass bitch.
24:07It's almost showtime.
24:09We've got to go out with a bang.
24:31Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars.
24:35Michelle Visage.
24:37We've come to the end of the road, and I can't let go.
24:39It's unnatural.
24:41Just the way I like it.
24:43Santino Rice.
24:44Hall of Fame, can you believe it?
24:45I can't believe you in this dress.
24:47This whole thing.
24:48Gossip lead singer, the amazing Beth Ditto.
24:52Hi, Mama.
24:52Are you ready to help my queens move in the right direction?
24:55Yes, I'm so excited.
24:57And the hilarious Sherry O'Terry is here.
25:00Hi, Ru, thank you for having me.
25:02And you look beautiful tonight.
25:03What?
25:04I didn't hear.
25:04You look beautiful tonight.
25:06Thank you, Ru.
25:08This week, our final four took the show on the road to complete three all-star challenges.
25:14Tonight, they're dressed to kill and ready to let us have it, hunty.
25:19Gentlemen, start your engine, and may the best woman win.
25:25First up, Chad Michaels.
25:27Ooh, wow.
25:28This is Chad Michaels, the drag warrior that never gives up and never will.
25:33Faster, pussycat.
25:34Stomp, stomp.
25:35Holographic.
25:36Chitty, chitty, Chad Bang.
25:38Ooh, yeah.
25:40Aw.
25:45You up some fierce, sexy, sultry diva.
25:48Ooh, it looks like a blue moon tonight.
25:50She must live in Asbury Park.
25:53Chanel.
25:55Wow.
25:56Bangkok, Oriental City.
25:58I am serving red Cirque du Soleil realness.
26:02She's giving you crustacean katsura hands.
26:04Yes, honey.
26:06Raven.
26:08Ooh.
26:10I'm giving quintessential Raven.
26:12This is my moment.
26:14That's so Raven.
26:16Boudoir.
26:17Street corner booty.
26:19Sweet dreams.
26:21Sweet dreams.
26:22Coming up.
26:23Today, on the runway, your face looks a little shiny.
26:25You look like the Tin Man.
26:27You have a lot of filler, which is, like, to me, not even a comedy.
26:31Ladies, I've made my decision.
26:33The winner is...
26:42Welcome, all stars.
26:43Now, we've seen you in action.
26:45Now, it's time for the judges' critiques.
26:48Let's start with Chad Michaels.
26:50You look like a sexy superhero.
26:53I think it's wrong.
26:55You're so sophisticated.
26:57None of it is dated.
26:58It's absolutely incredible.
27:00Your hamburger Mary's appearance.
27:01I thought you were so eloquent.
27:03The way you talked about your WeHo pride.
27:04You should be the next mayor.
27:06Mm-hmm.
27:07Your comedy routine.
27:08So, so funny.
27:09I think it went maybe 10 seconds too long.
27:11But you had real hard jokes and not a lot of filler.
27:15Well, she's got some filler.
27:16More than a little.
27:17Oh, shit, dang.
27:18Really, that was some great stand-up.
27:20All right.
27:21Next up, Juju Bee.
27:22Tonight, you look stunning.
27:24Not crazy about these shoes.
27:26Felt almost a little too cash for this gorgeous ensemble.
27:29The interview, I kind of lost you.
27:33You let some other ones take over and dominate.
27:35But I loved your comedy.
27:37I could have heard you talk about your family and nothing else.
27:40Good job, airline.
27:42All right.
27:43Next up, Chanel.
27:45Tonight, you're giving it to us.
27:47I thought you were going to read me for this.
27:48You as this showgirl is amazing.
27:51The interview, you were personable, but your comedy.
27:54I was confused.
27:56You said, I am a man trapped in a black woman's body.
27:59I feel like you should have said, you're a black woman trapped in a white woman's body.
28:04You know what I'm saying?
28:04You're right.
28:05Like, I'm like, you're not black, girl.
28:06You are completely right.
28:07And you went from black woman to eyebrows to pantyhose.
28:10And sometimes there wasn't a follow-up.
28:13But you played with the audience and you had interesting content there.
28:17All right.
28:18Next up, Raven.
28:19Raven, you look beautiful.
28:21I want to call this outfit Donatello, you were bedtime story of Versace.
28:24Oh, my God.
28:26Chic.
28:26Like, you exude chicness.
28:28Today, on the runway, your face looks amazing.
28:30But something happened at Hamburger Mary's.
28:33It just got a little shiny.
28:34With a highlighter that's shimmery, it's going to reflect light.
28:37You look like the Tin Man.
28:39Well, I am looking for a heart, girl.
28:42Comedy, you slayed it.
28:44You killed it.
28:45I wish I could have met Anne Forney.
28:48You could do stand-up.
28:49You're good at taking real experiences and making them into comedy, which is, like, to me, the best comedy.
28:55All right, ladies, I think we've heard enough.
28:58While you enjoy an absolute cocktail in the All-Star Lounge, the judges and I will deliberate.
29:04You may leave the stage.
29:06All right, kids, these are all-stars.
29:08These are the best in the business.
29:10But we have to choose which one of these kids will be inducted into the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
29:16So, please, let me know what you think.
29:18Pros and cons.
29:20Let's start with Chad Michaels.
29:22Chad is just a flawless queen from head to toe.
29:26The only thing I can say that's a con is predictability.
29:28I wouldn't call it predictable.
29:29I would call it...
29:30Practiced.
29:31I feel like Chad Michaels has improved so much in my eyes.
29:35It's like there's this new, recharged Chad Michaels that I'm loving.
29:40You can teach an old dog new tricks.
29:42Oh, why were you looking at me when you said that?
29:44Next up, Juju Bee.
29:46Juju's very unpredictable.
29:47The opposite.
29:48I love, love her personality.
29:51But there's still a reserved quality about her personality that she needs to break free from.
29:56Yeah, there's a part of her that doesn't go all the way.
29:59And it's held her back in moving forward as a superstar.
30:03But she's talented in so many aspects.
30:05And Juju's actually really funny.
30:07Next up, Chanel.
30:08Pros and cons.
30:09Boy, that comedy show is the biggest con, con, con, con, con, con, con, con.
30:14It didn't show her in a good light.
30:16It's like, this is Chanel?
30:18No, I want to see the grand dame Chanel.
30:21What Chanel is all about.
30:23Right.
30:23But what I love about Chanel is the showgirl thing.
30:26I mean, I'm a sucker for a showgirl.
30:27Hello.
30:28We all know this.
30:29Let's go to Raven.
30:31Raven has just gotten cooler, sexier, funnier as the challenges have gone along.
30:37I see a real star in Raven.
30:39And Raven constantly switches it up.
30:41Nothing's ever reminiscent of another thing.
30:45And Raven's comedy was knocked down funny.
30:49I can't even choose who would be funnier between Raven and Chad.
30:52You know, there's really two different schools here.
30:54There's the sort of old school showgirl who is in the tradition of the drag great.
30:59And there's the young upstart who likes to experiment and do different things.
31:03So it's tough.
31:05I feel like my four favorite actresses are up for the same award.
31:09Having to pick one is just like, I would rather pull out my two front teeth.
31:13Silence.
31:14I've made my decision.
31:16Bring back my all-stars.
31:25Welcome back, ladies.
31:27Based on your performance in this week's challenge, during this entire competition, and throughout your all-star careers,
31:35I've made some decisions.
31:37You are all my legendary children.
31:41But there's room for just one inductee into the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
31:50Chanel.
31:54Jujubee.
31:59I'm sorry, my dears, but this is not your moment.
32:09This is heartbreaking.
32:10I don't know what to feel.
32:14I am so devastated.
32:15You put your heart and your soul into what you do, and sometimes it's just not good enough.
32:21Keep believing in yourselves.
32:24With all your hearts, please step to the back of the stage.
32:34Two all-stars stand before me.
32:36Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and prove to the world that you are worthy of entering
32:45the Drag Race Hall of Fame.
32:48I'm standing in the same place I was standing last time I was here.
32:51I'm shaking, my mouth is dry, and I start to feel so nervous.
32:55I have to turn it out.
32:58The time has come for you to lip-sync for your life.
33:04I know I have to put my whole heart and soul into this lip-sync.
33:08Good luck, and don't f*** it up.
33:16If I had a dime every time they say
33:20I think I'd have a million
33:22This is 20 years of experience, all down to one moment, and I'm owning this.
33:28I'm a real opinion
33:33I'm doing what I want to do, and that's be sexy, fierce, gorgeous, and glamorous, and make sure all eyes
33:38are on me.
33:38It's me, it's your beats, uncertainty
33:42Don't forget, don't forget, get who you are
33:46Yes, it's true, true for all of you
33:49We are all stars
33:50We are all stars
33:52When I close my eyes
33:55When I close my eyes, what is in my head
33:58Sound more appealing
34:00Canceling remind me of what he said
34:03He said, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't stop believing
34:08This one is supposed to change
34:10It doesn't forget, don't forget, get who you are
34:15Yes, it's true, true for all of you
34:17We are all stars
34:19We are all stars
34:21It's your beat
34:30Ladies
34:33I've made my decision
34:37The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars
34:41Of course, the first inductee to the Drag Race Hall of Fame is Chad Michael
35:00Oh my God, thank you, Drew
35:06My queen, this crown belongs to not only you, but to the millions of fans that you inspire
35:16And remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?
35:21Can I get an amen up in here?
35:23Amen
35:24Now prance, my queen
35:32This is a place next to RuPaul forever
35:35It's absolutely unbelievable
35:37Oh, yeah
35:39Woo!