- 2 days ago
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TVTranscript
00:00:16The first time Dad took me to Gran and Aunt Mary's for my holidays, I was, I don't know, eight
00:00:20or nine.
00:00:22And I remember playing footy with Gran and my cousins in the front yard.
00:00:25You know those days when everything's perfect?
00:00:27It's one of the greatest afternoons of my life.
00:00:30You see, Gran would form us all into one team and she'd be the other.
00:00:34It amazes me to think of the hours and hours she'd spend playing with us.
00:00:38She never seemed tired.
00:00:40Later in the afternoons we'd play Ludo or Snakes and Ladders or Tiddlywinks.
00:00:44I still love those games with Gran.
00:00:47She used to keep an old Monopoly set hidden under the stairs because Mary wouldn't let her play.
00:00:51See, real strict Salvation Army Mary was.
00:00:53I mean, Gran too, but just not as bad as Mary, you know.
00:00:57There's one time Mary went out for a while, and the minute she's out the door, Gran whips out the
00:01:01old Monopoly board.
00:01:02Not a word to Mary, she says.
00:01:05That was the best game Monopoly I've ever played.
00:01:08Like me and Gran were doing something really naughty.
00:01:10Really wrong.
00:01:11Fire and brimstone stuff, you know.
00:01:16Some people might think that those days with Gran and Mary had a bad influence on them.
00:01:20Could be right.
00:01:22After all, still play footy.
00:01:24Stick your freaking shoulder in his ass!
00:01:27Watch.
00:01:29Only doing what he wants.
00:01:33Hey, T!
00:01:35What?
00:01:37What?
00:01:37You know what?
00:01:38Give me some for you.
00:01:40I'm fucking sorry, now man.
00:01:42You're like, what do you think you're doing?
00:01:43Come on.
00:01:45You're like, what do you think you're doing?
00:01:45Oh, come on.
00:01:46Get out of here.
00:01:47Come on.
00:01:47Come on.
00:01:47Come on.
00:01:48All the people that you're standing on.
00:01:50All the people that you're standing on.
00:01:53Now you're heading down to be someone.
00:01:56Someone that you've seen in a magazine.
00:01:58Your revolution is coming true.
00:02:01Oh, baby, you're not so green.
00:02:03No, baby, you're not so green.
00:02:06No, baby, you're not so.
00:02:08Systematic.
00:02:10Waking up the day.
00:02:14Systematic thing stepping on my head.
00:02:18Oh, systematic.
00:02:20Waking up the day.
00:02:24Systematic thing stepping on my head.
00:02:28Now you're heading down to find something.
00:02:30Something that you've buried in your backyard.
00:02:34Position is coming true.
00:02:36All the dust that you're digging up.
00:02:39All the dust that you're digging up.
00:02:42G'day, mate.
00:02:48You're a woman of the world, Giddy.
00:02:51What are you again?
00:02:53You think you're getting itched again, Harry?
00:02:57Just look up.
00:03:02Systematic.
00:03:03Stepping on my head.
00:03:07Systematic.
00:03:08Waking up the day.
00:03:11Uh-huh.
00:03:12Systematic.
00:03:13Stepping on my head.
00:03:27Now you're heading down to get someone.
00:03:30Someone that you should have had years ago.
00:03:33Position is coming through.
00:03:35All the people that you're standing on.
00:03:38All the people that you're standing on.
00:03:40All the people that you're standing on.
00:03:43Not hard to get a hand on.
00:03:45Systematically.
00:03:47Waking up the day.
00:03:51Systematically.
00:03:52Stepping on my head.
00:03:54Hey!
00:03:55You're systematically.
00:03:57Waking up the day.
00:04:00You're systematically.
00:04:02Stepping on my head.
00:04:16I'm fucked.
00:04:17What was that?
00:04:18I said I'm rooted.
00:04:22Stepped off for a quickie on the way home, did you?
00:04:24God, you're off sometimes, you know that?
00:04:26Put a dirty meaning on everything.
00:04:32Oh, lasagna again.
00:04:33Are you going senile or something?
00:04:35Mashed potatoes and veggies.
00:04:36I've fed it three times this week already.
00:04:39Why can't we have a nice leg of lamb?
00:04:41We haven't had a roast for yonks.
00:04:42Things aren't so wonderful when you're cooking, you know.
00:04:45Sausages and chips are a real treat when you're in the kitchen.
00:04:48You did that nice chicken curry last week?
00:04:50Heh.
00:04:50So hot it blew the roof and my mouth off.
00:04:52I'm sorry.
00:04:53If you can't stand a little imagination in my cooking,
00:04:54I'll stick the frozen lasagna from now on.
00:04:57How long's it going to be, anyway?
00:04:58Nearly ready.
00:04:59Just grab a quick shower.
00:05:01Why do you always decide to take a shower just as I'm about to dish out?
00:05:04Just as I'm about to put the food on the table.
00:05:06You don't expect me to sit down all sweaty and smelly like this.
00:05:08Why not?
00:05:08It doesn't usually bother you, unless you're going out.
00:05:11Oh, yeah.
00:05:13Going out?
00:05:13Well, as a matter of fact, I am.
00:05:14I thought I'd just pop down to the pub for a couple of beers, all right?
00:05:16Got a date?
00:05:17Can't a bloke go out for a drink on a Friday night
00:05:19without you making a lifetime romance out of it?
00:05:21You dish up.
00:05:21I won't be two ticks, all right?
00:05:24He'll be back in a minute.
00:05:40You had a shower then, did you, Dad?
00:05:43Yes.
00:05:44Yes, I did.
00:05:45You didn't turn the taps right off again.
00:05:47Is that right, son?
00:05:49Every time I go for a shower, the taps are dripping.
00:05:52Now, I know you don't turn them right off because you think you're saving the washers,
00:05:54but, mate, I've told you.
00:05:56That's what they're for.
00:05:57And I'm a plumber.
00:05:58I can change them.
00:05:59And a few flaming washers are a damn side chip in the water rates.
00:06:01It drives me mental, Dad.
00:06:02You know it does.
00:06:02If I've asked you once, I've asked you a thousand times.
00:06:04Turn the fucking taps off!
00:06:06Yes.
00:06:07Thanks.
00:06:08Sorry.
00:06:09Very much.
00:06:10I will try.
00:06:14He's very wrought up.
00:06:16He only ever mentions that when he's wrought up.
00:06:20You must think he's meeting Mr. Wright tonight.
00:06:22He won't be eating any Sarah Lee.
00:06:29You're probably wondering about that.
00:06:31About him meeting Mr. Wright.
00:06:34Well, might as well get it out into the oven, as the actress said to the bishop.
00:06:39He won't be meeting any girl tonight.
00:06:41He's what you might call cheerful.
00:06:44Can't bear that other word.
00:06:47Some of you will be going, uh, probably.
00:06:51Can't see why, though.
00:06:53He's a good, honest lad with a heart as big as Western Australia.
00:06:56And he's as much a friend as he is a son.
00:06:58He's a good mate.
00:07:00Mind you, he can be a nightmare to live with.
00:07:05Come on, your dinner's on the table.
00:07:07You didn't do the laundry.
00:07:09Sorry, I forgot.
00:07:10Yeah, well, I need a pair of socks.
00:07:11I can't go bloody barefoot.
00:07:13Or whiz down the shop and buy yourself a pair of pantyhose.
00:07:15Ha, ha, ha.
00:07:16Very funny.
00:07:17Especially if I could wash a pair of mine and drive them in the oven.
00:07:19Oh, yeah.
00:07:20And the house will rig a burnt nylon like it did last time.
00:07:22Come and eat your dinner.
00:07:24Yeah, yeah.
00:07:24Two ticks.
00:07:28I wouldn't want you getting the wrong idea, though.
00:07:30Two blokes living alone together.
00:07:31It's only him.
00:07:32I'm not that way.
00:07:35They got a ladies' man, they always have been.
00:07:38When I was his age, I was a right little rooter.
00:07:42Rabbit, they called me.
00:07:50I was faithful to her from the day I met her.
00:07:53Because I knew I was one of the lucky ones.
00:07:57I knew it was love.
00:08:02These jeans are all right?
00:08:03Should I wear the white ones?
00:08:04How many pairs of my socks did you borrow?
00:08:06I can almost see your religion.
00:08:07Yeah, well, if you got it, show it.
00:08:10I haven't got that much to skype about.
00:08:11Well, Harry, sizes and everything.
00:08:13It's what you do with it, the council.
00:08:15His mum always said that to me.
00:08:19What's that for?
00:08:20It's not spaghetti, you know.
00:08:21Don't want to get my new shirt dirty.
00:08:23You actually met this young man?
00:08:25Or is there some young fella wandering around Sydney
00:08:28who doesn't know you're about to have him do anything like it?
00:08:30We've said g'day a few times down the pub.
00:08:31Oh.
00:08:32Caught him?
00:08:33No, Dad, not yet.
00:08:35But you never know your luck in a big city, though.
00:08:41Are you sure about this, Mum?
00:08:43No, Jenny.
00:08:44I'm not sure at all.
00:08:47Do you want me to come in with you?
00:08:48No.
00:08:49This is something I've got to do.
00:08:53Now.
00:08:57Wish me luck.
00:09:12Now, just relax, Mrs. Johnson.
00:09:15I'm going to show you several faces.
00:09:17Now, I want you to just let them drift by.
00:09:19But if you see one that catches your eye,
00:09:21we can go back and have a second look.
00:09:24Oh, my God.
00:09:25Sorry.
00:09:26I'm a bit nervous.
00:09:28Oh, no need to be, dear.
00:09:30You know, you've just taken your first step
00:09:32towards finding your perfect partner.
00:09:38Oh.
00:09:46Oh.
00:09:56Yes.
00:09:57I'll give the party a call.
00:10:00Right.
00:10:01Yes, thanks very much.
00:10:02Are you eating or what?
00:10:04Who was that?
00:10:06A man about a dog.
00:10:08What bloody dog?
00:10:12There's tomato sauce on it already.
00:10:14Yeah, I know.
00:10:15It needs more.
00:10:23Of course, some people think it isn't very good manners
00:10:24to read at the dinner table.
00:10:26Some people haven't lived with you for 20-odd years.
00:10:29Some people should be so bloody lucky.
00:10:38You should read a few more books, you know?
00:10:40There's a lot more to life than what you see on telly.
00:10:44Like this bloke.
00:10:46Sir Richard Burton.
00:10:48One of the greatest explorers that ever lived.
00:10:52First white man to see the sacred stone at Mecca.
00:10:55And the first man to discover the lakes in Africa
00:10:58that are the source of the Nile.
00:11:00A man...
00:11:01I thought he married Elizabeth Taylor.
00:11:02...who could take on the whole world and conquer it.
00:11:04Yeah, a couple of times.
00:11:05Not afraid of anything.
00:11:07You should read it.
00:11:08You might pick up a few hints.
00:11:10What for?
00:11:11I do not want to go chasing all over Africa
00:11:13looking for a place to have a swim.
00:11:15Anyway, the whole world's already been discovered.
00:11:17No.
00:11:18Which bit's missing?
00:11:19There's amazing things waiting for you just around the corner.
00:11:22Wonderful things like love.
00:11:23The greatest adventure of all.
00:11:25Your grandmother said it once.
00:11:26I'll never forget it.
00:11:29The greatest explorers, she said,
00:11:31are the explorers of the human heart.
00:11:34Is that why she became a dyke?
00:11:36Your grandmother was not a dyke!
00:11:38She was licking Aunt Mary's pussy for 40 years.
00:11:40What else did you call her?
00:11:43I admit, the relationship with Mary was intimate.
00:11:50But she was not a dyke!
00:11:54A lesbian, perhaps.
00:11:57Les-o dyke!
00:11:58What's the diff?
00:11:59What's the diff?
00:12:00What's the diff?
00:12:01There was a whole lot of flame and diff.
00:12:03Your grandmother was a very beautiful woman.
00:12:06And just because she found happiness
00:12:08after your grandfather had died,
00:12:10just because in her grief
00:12:11she turned to Mary
00:12:13and the two of them found comfort in each other's arms
00:12:15doesn't give you the right to call her names.
00:12:19How would you like it
00:12:19if I went around calling you
00:12:21Pansy, Fairy, Poofter?
00:12:23You do half the time.
00:12:25Only when I'm annoyed with you.
00:12:28Now, eat your veggies.
00:12:29No, I tied up.
00:12:30I've done my dashboard.
00:12:31Now, you know...
00:12:34You know how you get angry with me
00:12:36when I don't turn the taps off in the shower?
00:12:38Look, I'm sorry, my...
00:12:38No, no, no, don't apologise.
00:12:40Listen, listen.
00:12:41Every time you finish a meal
00:12:43you always push your plate away from it.
00:12:46Always!
00:12:47Now, I've told you until I'm blue in the face
00:12:49but you always do it.
00:12:50It doesn't matter where we are,
00:12:51here, out,
00:12:53Buckingham Palace for all you care.
00:12:54You bloody do it there
00:12:55and it drives me mental.
00:12:58That's how you feel.
00:13:05That's how I feel.
00:13:08There's a Sarah Lee in the fridge.
00:13:10No thanks, mate.
00:13:11Don't want to go break it out in zits.
00:13:13Fact is, I'm running late as it is.
00:13:16A bit early, isn't it?
00:13:19Well, you know what they say about the early bird?
00:13:21Yes, but I don't think
00:13:22that's the sort of worm they had in mind
00:13:23when they said it.
00:13:26Leave the dishes, I'll do them.
00:13:28Sorry, Dad.
00:13:29I'll just clean my teeth.
00:13:34See what I mean?
00:13:35He hasn't been this excited for ages.
00:13:37This one must be quite something.
00:13:48Your dinner's nearly cold.
00:13:49Sorry.
00:13:51It'd be nice if you showed some respect
00:13:52for your mother's cooking.
00:13:54Someone has to.
00:13:55I've grabbed something in the pub.
00:13:57Going out again, are we?
00:13:58It'd be nice if you spent some time
00:13:59at home occasionally.
00:14:01It's Friday night for Pete's sake.
00:14:03You smell like a Bombay brothel too.
00:14:05Good stuff, that, Dad.
00:14:06Obsession, it's called.
00:14:07Cost a fortune.
00:14:08So, where are you going?
00:14:09Dancing?
00:14:10You never bloody let up, do you?
00:14:12I took dancing lessons to meet people,
00:14:14that's all.
00:14:15It wasn't as if it was ballet or anything.
00:14:17I only asked where you were going
00:14:18and you watch your tongue
00:14:19in front of your mother.
00:14:21So am I.
00:14:23I'll see you later.
00:14:24Be good, dear.
00:14:25Have a nice time.
00:14:27If you can't be good, be careful.
00:14:31See?
00:14:32I do try.
00:14:34No, you don't.
00:14:36You don't really try.
00:14:37You never give him an inch.
00:14:48I was surprised by the number of products
00:14:51I had in my kitchen cupboard
00:14:52that were unfriendly.
00:14:54And I was also surprised
00:14:55how harmful they were,
00:14:56the ones that I did have.
00:15:00You, um...
00:15:03You don't feel like going out?
00:15:04There's a film on telly.
00:15:07Don't worry, I'll watch it in Myra.
00:15:09Coast will be clear.
00:15:10That's all right, then.
00:15:11How do I look?
00:15:12God's gift?
00:15:14Did you use a whole bottle of aftershave?
00:15:16A bit fierce, is it?
00:15:17Obsession.
00:15:18He said it was his favourite.
00:15:20Probably quite nice.
00:15:22In moderation.
00:15:29Where are you meeting him?
00:15:31At the printing?
00:15:31Yep.
00:15:32That's if he shows up.
00:15:33Thought you had a date.
00:15:34Yeah, well, but, you know,
00:15:35not my luck.
00:15:36And your others?
00:15:38No, Dad, this is different.
00:15:40He's, um...
00:15:41something else.
00:15:42Nice.
00:15:44I expect you'll turn up, then.
00:15:47I hope so.
00:15:50You've got to have a bit more faith in yourself, Jeff.
00:15:52If you're my son's friend,
00:15:53you know, I'd be pleased it was you.
00:15:54Things don't always work out like that in the real world, Dad.
00:15:57You'd better not keep him waiting.
00:15:58It's all right.
00:15:59Copy it.
00:15:59Later.
00:16:03Have fun.
00:16:03Thanks, man.
00:16:05Do my best.
00:16:07He's 24 years old.
00:16:09He's no virgin, that's a sure and certain fact.
00:16:12He's carrying on like it was his first ever date.
00:16:15You might have noticed that he, uh,
00:16:17lacks a bit of confidence in himself in the romantic stakes.
00:16:20I can't see why, though.
00:16:21I mean, he's a nice enough looking lad.
00:16:24You like that sort of thing.
00:16:26But, uh, about three years ago,
00:16:28a terrible thing happened to him.
00:16:29He, uh, fell in love.
00:16:32Didn't last that long.
00:16:33The other bloke, uh,
00:16:36Kevin, I think it was.
00:16:37I mean, he was a nice enough lad,
00:16:39but a bit flighty,
00:16:40trying to be a Qantas steward or something.
00:16:42And, uh, after about three months,
00:16:45he just moved on to greener pastures
00:16:47and just about broke Jeff's heart.
00:16:55It's true.
00:16:56Grandma was a dyke.
00:16:58Well, lesbian.
00:17:01I used to go and stay down there for my holidays, you know.
00:17:04Have the best times.
00:17:07Just a little brick and tile down by the Hawkesbury.
00:17:09Nothing flash, but clean.
00:17:12Grandma's always polishing every bit of woodwork in the house.
00:17:14So you'd get up in the morning
00:17:15and there'd be this wonderful smell
00:17:16of lavender floor polish all over the place.
00:17:20That reminds me of a funny story.
00:17:23I suppose it's a bit off.
00:17:26I was there once.
00:17:27Some of my cousins were staying, too.
00:17:29So I had to sleep in the spare bed in Gran's room, you know.
00:17:33I remember I could see it so clearly.
00:17:35Waking up that first morning,
00:17:37looking across to Gran's big old double bed,
00:17:40and they were Gran and Mary.
00:17:43Tucked up in bed, wrapped up in each other's arms.
00:17:45Gran was snoring, I remember.
00:17:49I laid there looking at him for such a long time.
00:17:52Just looked natural somehow, you know.
00:17:56Like the most natural thing I'd ever seen.
00:18:01Like love.
00:18:12Hello?
00:18:13Joyce Johnson?
00:18:15No, no, I'll just get her.
00:18:17Mum, it's for you.
00:18:24Hello?
00:18:25Look, you don't know me,
00:18:27but my name's Harry Mitchell,
00:18:29and I got your name from Desiree's introduction agency.
00:18:31Oh, yeah.
00:18:33Mr Mitchell,
00:18:34pleased to meet you.
00:18:36Please, call me Harry.
00:18:37Of course.
00:18:37I'm sorry.
00:18:40Harry, but...
00:18:41Look, it's all right.
00:18:43It's the first time I've done this sort of thing, too.
00:18:45Oh, you mean you don't use Desiree's on a regular basis?
00:18:48No.
00:18:50No, nothing like that.
00:18:52No, I'm interested in a serious relationship,
00:18:54and the most important thing to me is companionship.
00:18:59I was thinking that we should meet,
00:19:01have a meal, you know, somewhere quiet, classy.
00:19:05I happen to be a member of the Roselle Leagues Club.
00:19:09Isn't that a bit rowdy?
00:19:10Well, they, you know, have a very nice dining room, actually,
00:19:14and there's dancing.
00:19:15Yeah, proper dancing.
00:19:16But, you know, if you'd prefer a movie or a race, whatever.
00:19:20No, no, no, no.
00:19:21I'd like to have dinner at your club.
00:19:23You would?
00:19:24Hmm.
00:19:25Oh, it's very nice, Joyce.
00:19:27Ah, well, then, I'll pick you up on Saturday,
00:19:30say, half past 12.
00:19:32Yeah, or I could meet you there if you like.
00:19:34Harry?
00:19:35No, no, no, no, it'll be my pleasure.
00:19:37I'm looking forward to it, I promise.
00:19:39Me too.
00:19:40So, until Saturday, then.
00:19:43Bye.
00:19:44Bye, then.
00:19:48Bye.
00:19:52Bye.
00:19:57Bye.
00:20:04Bye.
00:20:07Bye.
00:20:08Bye.
00:20:32Good night, Bexner.
00:20:34Good night, George.
00:20:41That's better.
00:20:42Couldn't hear myself thinking now.
00:20:45Cheers.
00:20:45Yeah, cheers.
00:20:50Baxter.
00:20:51Oh, it's a joke.
00:20:52The footy team here.
00:20:53Baxter the war boys, here comes Jeff.
00:20:58So, you play footy?
00:20:59Just a local pub.
00:21:00It's amateur.
00:21:01Bit of a laugh.
00:21:03It's more than a laugh from what I do.
00:21:05What goes on in those locker rooms?
00:21:06Oh, well, it's a man's man's world, mate.
00:21:09It's all spit on the floor, and how many sheilas did you root last night?
00:21:13Do you play any sport?
00:21:15Yeah, swimming.
00:21:16I do a lot of swimming.
00:21:18Keeps me away from home a few bit, I suppose that's why.
00:21:20All by yourself and the water.
00:21:22No one has to give you a hard time, you know.
00:21:25Won a few medals, too, at school.
00:21:32Wouldn't mind singing in your speedos.
00:21:37I'll show you later.
00:21:39Got them on now.
00:21:43If you wear your footy shorts.
00:21:46You're on.
00:21:53Isn't this something special?
00:21:56Isn't this something special?
00:21:58Isn't this something special?
00:22:00Isn't this something special?
00:22:00I really liked you.
00:22:02The first time I saw you at the pub.
00:22:04It took me yonks to pluck out the courage to even say g'day.
00:22:07I thought you weren't interested, though.
00:22:09Like, I've seen you two.
00:22:11And in the park.
00:22:11I work in the park.
00:22:13And I've seen you there.
00:22:15Jogging.
00:22:16You know, full of gear.
00:22:20Those shorts look really sexy on you.
00:22:26What you said before about, about home.
00:22:28Don't get on it now.
00:22:30Ah, Mum's alright.
00:22:32My Dad's a bit tricky, you know.
00:22:34He's always picking on me.
00:22:36Finding fault with everything I do.
00:22:38I went through the roof when I got my job.
00:22:41Gardening.
00:22:41What's wrong with that?
00:22:43He said it wasn't good enough for me.
00:22:45No future in it.
00:22:47But I'm bringing home nearly as much money as him already.
00:22:52He's, I don't know.
00:22:54He's like a stranger to me.
00:22:56Someone I live with but don't know very well
00:23:01and don't like very much.
00:23:04That's why I took up swimming.
00:23:08Things were a little bit different at our house.
00:23:21You wanna come home?
00:23:23You wanna come home?
00:23:24You wanna come home?
00:23:30You wanna come home?
00:23:36No.
00:23:48This is up.
00:23:54Make yourself a happy.
00:23:57Want a beer?
00:23:58Where's...
00:24:00Uh...
00:24:01Uh...
00:24:01Is your dad out?
00:24:02He'll be in bed.
00:24:05Well, she want me to be a bit quiet then.
00:24:07What for?
00:24:08In case we wake him up.
00:24:09He won't be asleep.
00:24:10Not yet.
00:24:11Probably come and say good at him.
00:24:14I told you he knows all about me.
00:24:15What I do and who I do it with.
00:24:17I bring blokes back all the time.
00:24:21Not the best that many I'm in.
00:24:23I should be so lucky.
00:24:25What I'm trying to say is that Dad knows and he doesn't care.
00:24:29Well, if you're sure.
00:24:32Scout's on her.
00:24:33If they're on your left.
00:24:36Come on.
00:24:39Sit down.
00:24:42Relax.
00:24:47That's better.
00:24:49Cheers.
00:24:51Yeah.
00:24:51Cheers.
00:24:56I'm really glad you showed up.
00:25:02So, what about the other teams?
00:25:04The football teams?
00:25:05You're just an old footy perv, aren't you?
00:25:07Uh-huh.
00:25:10Just because they're big butch footballers doesn't mean there's supermen in bed, you know?
00:25:14Every year the team goes to Manila for the, you know, post-season holiday.
00:25:18And every year they end up in a brothel.
00:25:20We've got this one real brick with you as Jack Ryland.
00:25:23First time he was really shocked.
00:25:25He'd been with this Asian chick.
00:25:26She was all over him, you know?
00:25:26Done everything.
00:25:27Like a Chinese gymnast.
00:25:29Jack wasn't too keen on that.
00:25:31He said he kept wishing he was with an Aussie girl who'd just lie there like a soggy cornflake.
00:25:41So, what do you like?
00:25:45I don't know, I don't win any gold medals but...
00:25:50I like a bit of action.
00:25:54So do I.
00:26:11Don't let me interrupt anything.
00:26:14Crying out loud, Dad, can't you have a knock?
00:26:16I was just gonna get myself a beer.
00:26:18Anyone else?
00:26:24It's okay, I promise it.
00:26:26Relax, just carry on as usual.
00:26:27But it's Soros.
00:26:28Fuck, you've seen worse than that.
00:26:30Couple of years ago, I had a friend stay the night.
00:26:33We're having a wake-up session.
00:26:34Dad brings the tea right in the middle of it.
00:26:37What did he say?
00:26:39He said careful of the sheets.
00:26:41It broke the ice.
00:26:46Well, mate, did you ever introduce me?
00:26:48Yeah, sorry.
00:26:49This is Greg, this is my dad.
00:26:50Very pleased to meet you.
00:26:51You can call me Harry.
00:26:53Sit down.
00:26:55Right.
00:26:56Thanks.
00:26:57Make yourself at home.
00:27:01Um...
00:27:06Well...
00:27:06Up your bum.
00:27:09It's just a joke.
00:27:10Dad's always making jokes.
00:27:12Yeah, like that time with the lavender floor polish.
00:27:14It's steady on, Dad.
00:27:15It's a bit off, isn't it?
00:27:15Is it?
00:27:16In company.
00:27:16What was that about?
00:27:17Lavender floor polish?
00:27:18Don't worry about it.
00:27:19It's just, you wouldn't be interested.
00:27:19It's just a misunderstanding.
00:27:22Pretty dear for a crust, huh?
00:27:23He's a gardener, then.
00:27:24Oh yeah, deaf and dumb easy, too.
00:27:26I work at the Botanic Gardens.
00:27:27Is that right?
00:27:28Hmm.
00:27:29Uh, perhaps the young fellow would like another drink.
00:27:32Uh...
00:27:32Want something stronger?
00:27:33No, no.
00:27:34This is fine.
00:27:35Got some scotch?
00:27:35Maybe, uh, drop a brandy left?
00:27:37Well...
00:27:38Wouldn't say no to a drop of scotch.
00:27:40You know what they say?
00:27:41Whisky makes you frisky.
00:27:42And brandy makes you randy?
00:27:44Pity we haven't got any rum, eh?
00:27:46That's a good one.
00:27:47I like that.
00:27:48I'll make it a double, though.
00:27:49I'll just get the ice.
00:28:13These are wonderful.
00:28:15My pride and joy.
00:28:17Not as good as my brother Eric's.
00:28:20I don't know what he does.
00:28:22Well...
00:28:23You know what they say about tomatoes.
00:28:27Same as lemon trees.
00:28:32Busy at the printing?
00:28:34Yeah, it's packed.
00:28:35Nice pub.
00:28:38What, you been there?
00:28:39Oh, yeah.
00:28:40Well, you know, when it became obvious that, uh, Geoff was,
00:28:43well, that way, I thought, well, his heart, his life,
00:28:47and, uh, I'd never met any woolly whoopters, so I...
00:28:50Sorry.
00:28:50Gay persons.
00:28:52And not that I knew of.
00:28:53Anyway.
00:28:53I thought, well, I've got to find out what all this is about.
00:28:56So, uh, got him to take me on a pub crawl.
00:28:59Started off at the printing.
00:29:00Huh.
00:29:01We had a great old time.
00:29:03I had no idea there was that many places.
00:29:06Uh, we ended up at, uh, uh, the barracks, I think it was.
00:29:10I got talking to a couple of blokes.
00:29:12You know, a bit Nancy, but a lot of fun, really.
00:29:15And, uh, and one of them, well, he must have thought I was that way inclined.
00:29:19He asked me my name, and when I said Harry, he said,
00:29:23Oh, no, that doesn't suit you at all.
00:29:25You'll always be Harriet to me.
00:29:28Well, Harriet's not a name I've ever been fond of.
00:29:30So I said, Harriet, never.
00:29:33Call me Henrietta.
00:29:36Henrietta, eh?
00:29:37He doesn't really suit you.
00:29:39Right?
00:29:40You reckon?
00:29:40I thought I was pretty good myself.
00:29:43I mean, vitrified, you know?
00:29:44Crips, I just can't imagine my dad ever doing something like that.
00:29:50What's that?
00:29:51What's that?
00:29:52What do you mean, what's that?
00:29:54You know, I mean, I'm working, of course.
00:29:57What's that?
00:30:03Cheers.
00:30:06So you, uh, live at home?
00:30:09Uh, Greg.
00:30:10Ah.
00:30:11Yeah.
00:30:12Worst luck.
00:30:13And, uh, you don't get on with your family then, Greg?
00:30:18Well...
00:30:18Greg's folks don't know about him yet.
00:30:20I see.
00:30:22Don't you think that's a shame, Greg?
00:30:25No, Dad.
00:30:26I've always been very grateful for Geoff being honest with me.
00:30:29I mean, not that I had a lot of choice finding him in the back shed there when he was,
00:30:32uh, what, 14 were you?
00:30:33You know?
00:30:33Sticking it up Willie Jones' bum.
00:30:35I was not up his...
00:30:35Well, near as bloody dammit, mate.
00:30:37Well, you are very broad-minded, Mr Mitchell.
00:30:39I try to be, mate.
00:30:39I have to be, you know?
00:30:40I mean, this is Geoff's home and, uh, if he's not able to be himself here, where can he be?
00:30:45And I want you to think of this as your home, too.
00:30:47Eh, Greg?
00:30:49You're welcome here any time you like.
00:30:52We don't have any secrets from each other here.
00:30:54Nothing on, uh, telly, Dad?
00:30:55Nothing worth watching.
00:30:57This is much better, eh?
00:30:59Well...
00:31:01Up your bum, Henrietta.
00:31:03Up your dress, Griselda.
00:31:05You took her well away, haven't you?
00:31:07Tell me, what's your ambition?
00:31:10Now, what's your dream?
00:31:12Apart from playing hide the sausage with young Geoffrey here, I mean, what would you like to do in life?
00:31:18My secret dream?
00:31:21My really, truly secret dream?
00:31:25Um...
00:31:28I'd like to plant a forest, you know?
00:31:31To plant a whole forest.
00:31:34And...
00:31:35Watch it grow.
00:31:37And go out and stand in the middle of all these great trees and say,
00:31:42I planted this.
00:31:43I made this.
00:31:47That's magnificent.
00:31:49Do it.
00:31:51That's wonderful.
00:31:52Don't you think, Geoff?
00:31:54Bloody earth.
00:31:56Make a fair old swag of violins, too.
00:32:00Make a fair old swag of violins, too.
00:32:03Don't you have any respect for the English language?
00:32:04What's wrong with the way I talk?
00:32:06I like the way he talks.
00:32:08It's real manly.
00:32:09Turns me on.
00:32:14I'm sorry, Harry, that was a bit bold.
00:32:16Please, pretend I'm not here.
00:32:18Yes, please.
00:32:22Why don't you get the, uh, young fella another whisky, Geoff?
00:32:26No, no, really, I'm a two-pot screamer.
00:32:28I'm a bit like that myself.
00:32:30Two and I'm anybodies.
00:32:32Three and I'm everybodies.
00:32:33Four and I'm nobodies.
00:32:36Actually, maybe I will have one more.
00:32:39I might do anything.
00:32:43Feel free.
00:32:50Nice place you got here, Harry.
00:32:59I'm very pleased you like my boy, Gary.
00:33:01He, uh, doesn't push himself very much, you know, sometimes,
00:33:04but, uh, he's got a heart of gold.
00:33:08And he likes you.
00:33:11Well, I think he's very nice.
00:33:14But if you need anything to, uh,
00:33:16well, uh, he can be a bit of a lump.
00:33:20Uh, I've got these magazines.
00:33:23You know, if you need anything to get started.
00:33:26Um, what, are these Geoff's?
00:33:29Yeah.
00:33:30No, I bought them.
00:33:32I just wanted to find out what sort of thing he got up to.
00:33:34I mean, I had a fair idea, uh, of course,
00:33:36but there's, uh, some, uh, things in here, you know,
00:33:39that I would never have imagined.
00:33:41And, uh, this one, uh, it's about, um, safe sex.
00:33:45Uh, I was, uh, worried about this, uh, terrible AIDS thing.
00:33:48I mean, who is it these days?
00:33:50Um, and, uh, I just wanted to find out if, uh, Geoff was safe.
00:33:55Um, oh, you know, worries me. He's my son.
00:33:59Um, and, uh, so I thought I'd just leave these lying around,
00:34:03like, so Geoff could find out what it was about,
00:34:05but he told me that he knew...
00:34:06It's, it's all right, Mr. Mitchell.
00:34:07I mean, I do do safe sex too, if that's what you're worried about.
00:34:11Well, there you go then.
00:34:13Um, if you need a turn on.
00:34:16Um, well, uh, have a good time, won't you?
00:34:19Thanks.
00:34:20Yeah, uh, I'll get out of your way now.
00:34:22It's been very nice to meet you, Geoff.
00:34:23You too. Uh, Greg, you too, Mr. Mitchell.
00:34:28Don't do anything I wouldn't do, you too.
00:34:34Can't believe he's gone. I thought he'd never get the end.
00:35:05Sorry, Greg. I, uh, forgot to ask.
00:35:08How you take your tea in the morning?
00:35:09As it comes.
00:35:10White and two.
00:35:11Piss off, will ya?
00:35:12Don't mind me.
00:35:13Night off.
00:35:18He really does mean well.
00:35:26Where was I?
00:35:27Look.
00:35:30Do you mind?
00:35:31I think I'll give him this.
00:35:40Still healthy?
00:35:41No, really.
00:35:44Another time.
00:35:44Did he say something to you?
00:35:45No.
00:35:46No, he's a wonderful man.
00:35:47It's, it's just...
00:35:49I've got a bit of a headache, you know?
00:35:52I've got some panaday.
00:35:53Doesn't help.
00:35:55Migraine, you know?
00:35:56I need these real strong ones.
00:35:57I'd better push off.
00:36:01It's him, isn't it?
00:36:03It's Dad.
00:36:05No, it's not him.
00:36:07It's not you or anyone.
00:36:09It's just me.
00:36:13I can't hack it.
00:36:16Bringing your boyfriend home and not having to lie and pretend.
00:36:18Look, I think it's really terrific what you've got with him.
00:36:21I really do.
00:36:22But...
00:36:27It hurts a bit.
00:36:32It makes me feel guilty about what we do.
00:36:37Maybe it's too domestic.
00:36:39Sort of makes the atmosphere...
00:36:41I don't know, not very sexy.
00:36:45I'd like to see you again, Jeff.
00:36:48I really would.
00:36:49I like you a lot.
00:36:50You're a really nice guy.
00:36:52So's your dad.
00:36:57Tell him I'll say goodbye.
00:37:11Don't go, mate, please.
00:37:14I like you, mate, you know?
00:37:17I don't just mean sex.
00:37:18We don't have to do that if you'd rather not.
00:37:21I like you as a person, you know?
00:37:24I feel comfy with you.
00:37:27Just don't go, please.
00:37:30We can talk.
00:37:31Get to know each other a bit.
00:37:37Wasting my breath, aren't I?
00:37:40Sorry.
00:37:42No, I'm sorry.
00:37:49I'll see you then.
00:37:50Yeah, mate, of course.
00:37:51I don't like you, Jeff.
00:37:53Ta.
00:38:21I went down to Melbourne once.
00:38:23Kevin had moved there, and I thought...
00:38:25I thought I could talk him into getting back with me, you know?
00:38:27Didn't work, of course.
00:38:30Point is, is...
00:38:31I went down by a train,
00:38:32and there was this woman.
00:38:35I couldn't take my eyes off her.
00:38:37Suddenly she said...
00:38:40Oh...
00:38:41The agonising pain of it all.
00:38:46The agonising pain.
00:38:58That's what she said.
00:39:01I often wonder what she meant, but...
00:39:04I suppose I knew straight away.
00:39:08She just wanted someone to talk to.
00:39:11Something to laugh with, have a good time with, get drunk with.
00:39:15Cuddle up to.
00:39:18Doesn't seem a lot to ask, does it?
00:39:20No.
00:39:20No.
00:39:21No.
00:39:25For fuck's sake, how can't you be too bloody domestic?
00:39:32A sensational value at $2.39.
00:39:35It's part of a new range that includes a two and a half feeter,
00:39:37a sleeper sofa version, and you can buy matching chairs.
00:39:40We have all of them now in stock.
00:39:53No, not in stock.
00:39:55But...
00:40:05No...
00:40:08No.
00:40:09No.
00:40:09No.
00:40:09No.
00:40:09No.
00:40:11No.
00:40:11No.
00:40:11No.
00:40:26He seemed like such a nice lad too.
00:40:29Yeah, didn't he?
00:40:31Seeing him again?
00:40:37Plenty more fish in the sea, eh?
00:40:41I was, uh, wondering what you'd like for tea tomorrow.
00:40:45Thought I'd buy a leg of lamb.
00:40:46You always like a roast.
00:40:48Nice baked potatoes, thick gravy.
00:40:50And, uh, don't forget to sort out your laundry.
00:40:53I'll get it done for you tomorrow.
00:41:04You ever thought of going to, uh, an introduction agency?
00:41:09For one of those, uh, computer dating services?
00:41:12They've got them in those magazines of yours.
00:41:14Not tonight, Dad.
00:41:18Some other time, eh?
00:41:23Fair enough.
00:41:28Don't stay up till eight, will you, son?
00:41:31No, Dad.
00:41:41She comes into my mind from time to time.
00:41:46That woman on the train.
00:41:59Life could be a dream.
00:42:01Life could be a dream.
00:42:03Do, do, do, do, shaboom.
00:42:06Life could be a dream.
00:42:08If I could take you up in paradise up above.
00:42:11If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love.
00:42:14Life could be a dream.
00:42:16Sweetheart, hello, hello again.
00:42:18Shaboom, and oh, boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:42:20Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:42:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, bip.
00:42:24A bip, ba, ba, ba, dip.
00:42:25Oh, life could be a dream.
00:42:28If only all my precious plans would come true.
00:42:31And you would let me spend my whole life loving you.
00:42:34Life could be a dream, sweetheart.
00:42:37Joyce.
00:42:39Mr. Henshaw.
00:42:43Please.
00:42:45Call me Harry.
00:42:50It's very subtle.
00:42:52Life could be a dream.
00:42:54Shaboom, if I could take you up in paradise up above.
00:42:57Shaboom, the dummy, darling, I'm the only one that you love.
00:43:00Life could be a dream.
00:43:01Sweetheart, hello, hello again.
00:43:04Shaboom, if you need a gift.
00:43:05Yes!
00:43:06Yes!
00:43:07Yes!
00:43:08Woo!
00:43:09Woo!
00:43:10Woo!
00:43:12Woo!
00:43:12Life could be a dream.
00:43:13Life could be a dream.
00:43:15Sweetheart.
00:43:34Boy, life could be a dream.
00:43:35Oh, boy, life could be a dream.
00:43:39Oh, boy, life could be a dream.
00:43:45Shaboom, if I could take you up in paradise up above.
00:43:49Shaboom, the dummy, darling, I'm the only one that you love.
00:43:52Life could be a dream.
00:43:54Sweetheart, hello, hello again.
00:43:55Shaboom, and open me again.
00:43:57Boom, boom, boom.
00:43:57Ding, dong, ding, dong.
00:43:59La-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-oh.
00:44:01Whoa, her life could be a dream.
00:44:05Her life could be a dream.
00:44:07Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream, dream.
00:44:11Harry, what did you do?
00:44:12You're on a winning streak.
00:44:14Ever since I met you, Joyce, you look wonderful.
00:44:18I must say, you always know the right thing to say to a woman.
00:44:21Well, a wife without women would be like barbecue without beer, wouldn't it?
00:44:29Speaking of which, shall we go?
00:44:33I've reserved our usual table.
00:44:39I haven't had so much fun in ages.
00:44:42It's getting a bit serious, isn't it, Mum?
00:44:44No, no, it's just fun to go out again with someone you like.
00:44:49Obviously like you.
00:44:52Mum.
00:44:53It's all right, dear.
00:44:55Harry's great, but we'll take it step by step.
00:44:57I'm a bit more wary these days.
00:45:00Hey, look, Dad left you. Was it your fault?
00:45:02Of course it was, part of it.
00:45:05You can't put all the blame on one side when a marriage breaks down.
00:45:09Would you ever take him back?
00:45:11No, dear.
00:45:13Never.
00:45:15One spitting on all that.
00:45:25Jeff?
00:45:29Jeff?
00:45:45You should be out looking at the world.
00:45:51Making a contribution.
00:45:53Sowing your oats.
00:45:54Something wonderful.
00:45:55Like love.
00:45:57The greatest adventure of all.
00:45:58Your grandson at once.
00:45:59I make a contribution, mate.
00:46:01I look after people's drains.
00:46:04You know, life would be pretty shitty without plumbers.
00:46:07Not very romantic, though, is it?
00:46:09I'm not like planting a forest.
00:46:11Fair go, mate.
00:46:12I'm just me.
00:46:13I know you are.
00:46:16You have that freedom.
00:46:18So go on.
00:46:20Prove to me that the way I brought you up wasn't wrong.
00:46:23That my mother wasn't wrong.
00:46:24That what she found was wonderful.
00:46:27That it was worth everything.
00:46:28All for love.
00:46:31That young Gary.
00:46:32You seem keen enough.
00:46:34Greg.
00:46:34Greg.
00:46:34Don't start, Dad.
00:46:36Not now.
00:46:37Just go and have some fun.
00:46:40You, uh, got some rich widow you're seeing on the sly, haven't you?
00:46:45What if I had?
00:46:50You're not the only one that gets lonely, son.
00:46:53I like women.
00:46:56I like the way they're put together.
00:46:59I like them all soft and squishy.
00:47:02I like having them, for Pete's sake.
00:47:04I'm sick of living in sin with my own right hand.
00:47:07He's off, Dad.
00:47:09Oh, that shouldn't worry you, should it?
00:47:12You're going for world champion week, aren't you?
00:47:18Sorry about that.
00:47:20You're a bit carry-away or something, haven't you?
00:47:22I mean, it's not quite like that.
00:47:25I mean, I do it.
00:47:28Of course I do.
00:47:28Who doesn't?
00:47:30And relieve the tension somehow.
00:47:32But he makes it sound like I'm some sort of rampant sex maniac.
00:47:37You don't like to think of your own dad doing that, do you?
00:47:43I mean, you know he must.
00:47:46Doesn't seem quite right, does it?
00:47:53He drives me screaming up the wall sometimes.
00:47:56It's not an easy thing for a man to accept that his mother's been doing it with another woman for
00:48:0040 years.
00:48:05I used to wonder that the love between them must be extraordinary if they were prepared to risk everything.
00:48:11All for love.
00:48:13That's when I started to think about blokes and blokes.
00:48:17Never did it, of course.
00:48:18Never wanted to.
00:48:20I think it was the idea of the hairy bums put me off.
00:48:50But if what Mum and Mary had was so amazing,
00:48:52then I thought maybe it's the same for men, too.
00:48:55Anyway,
00:48:57I met my wife.
00:48:59Then there was Geoff.
00:49:00I thought, ah, well, it's in the blood.
00:49:03It's just skipped a generation, you know, from my mother to him.
00:49:11I made up my mind
00:49:12that no matter what,
00:49:14he'd be his own man.
00:49:16And I knew
00:49:17that I'd love him.
00:49:19But he drives me screaming up the wall sometimes.
00:49:27This has all been a bit of a shock to me, Harry.
00:49:29Us getting on so well.
00:49:31That's a nice shock, I might add.
00:49:33Didn't have very high hopes when I went to that agency.
00:49:36I never expected anything serious.
00:49:39It is on my part.
00:49:42How serious?
00:49:44I want you to meet Geoff.
00:49:46Then if the two of you get on,
00:49:49I'm going to pop the question.
00:49:51And, um,
00:49:52if we don't?
00:49:55We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.
00:49:57Well,
00:49:58I wouldn't want to come between you two anyway.
00:50:00You seem very close.
00:50:07We've got to think of ourselves first, Joyce.
00:50:10It's a big step all the same.
00:50:12And I guess we should put our cards on the table.
00:50:17Look,
00:50:18I might not be very
00:50:21imaginative
00:50:22in the bed department, Harry,
00:50:23but I never said no to my husband
00:50:25on all the years we were married.
00:50:28Not once.
00:50:30Well,
00:50:30obviously there were certain times
00:50:32after Chetty was born
00:50:33and when I wasn't well,
00:50:34but no,
00:50:34apart from that,
00:50:35he always got his onions
00:50:36whenever he wanted them.
00:50:38Could have had them a bit more often too
00:50:40if he played his cards right.
00:50:42I like to be wooed.
00:50:45Yes.
00:50:46You do, don't you?
00:50:48So as long as you're not
00:50:49too demanding,
00:50:50you'll get what you want
00:50:51on that score.
00:50:56I think we should
00:50:57stop beating around the bush, Joyce.
00:50:59I didn't think I was.
00:51:01Well,
00:51:02you don't have to give me your answer
00:51:03straight away,
00:51:05but
00:51:06you know what's on my mind.
00:51:14Will you marry me?
00:51:23What's all this?
00:51:24What's this all about?
00:51:26Eh?
00:51:27What's the matter?
00:51:30I've given up hope.
00:51:32I just didn't think
00:51:33it was going to
00:51:34happen to me again.
00:51:36No,
00:51:37neither did I.
00:51:40I've been so lonely
00:51:41for so long
00:51:42and I just didn't think
00:51:44it's you
00:51:46kneeling down
00:51:47that did it.
00:51:51Well,
00:51:53will you?
00:51:56No.
00:51:59Why?
00:52:00I thought...
00:52:02It's too soon.
00:52:03I don't want to make
00:52:04another mistake.
00:52:06Look,
00:52:06let's give it
00:52:07six months
00:52:08and then if we still
00:52:10feel the same way...
00:52:12Make it three months.
00:52:15That's all that talk
00:52:17about sex,
00:52:18isn't it?
00:52:19It's got you
00:52:20all worked out.
00:52:22All right.
00:52:23Three months.
00:52:26Joyce.
00:52:33I can't say
00:52:34I'm the happiest
00:52:35I've ever been
00:52:35in my life,
00:52:37but I'm the happiest
00:52:38I can remember being
00:52:39for a very long time.
00:52:57I can't wear wirefronts
00:53:00all your life,
00:53:00mate.
00:53:02I know I'm much
00:53:03too old
00:53:03for reindeer
00:53:05to go
00:53:07because tonight
00:53:08I'm searching
00:53:09the stars.
00:53:14Hey,
00:53:15hey,
00:53:15hey.
00:53:16Got it.
00:53:17Let's just get one
00:53:18for a minute.
00:53:19There's the butchers.
00:53:20Yeah,
00:53:20go with the frozen
00:53:21lasagna.
00:53:22she's far,
00:53:25far away
00:53:27just one
00:53:29to rock
00:53:30and Christmas
00:53:31goodbye.
00:53:33Pretty baby
00:53:34she's a warm
00:53:37memory.
00:53:38Too small.
00:53:39What's got in here?
00:53:40See,
00:53:40that's twice the size
00:53:41of the one we normally have.
00:53:42We don't make enough
00:53:43for Christmas.
00:53:43That's our trouble.
00:53:44It's a season of goodwill.
00:53:45Family.
00:53:47It's high time you start
00:53:47thinking about a family
00:53:48of your own.
00:53:49Find some nice young fella,
00:53:51get set up in life.
00:53:53It's not that flamed easy.
00:53:54It doesn't just happen
00:53:55to order.
00:53:57Choice is a bit more
00:53:57limited for one thing.
00:53:59Maybe some places
00:54:00like San Francisco
00:54:01all the blokes
00:54:01wear their dicks
00:54:02on their sleeves there.
00:54:02You ever thought
00:54:03of going there
00:54:03for a holiday?
00:54:04I don't want to live
00:54:05like that, Dad.
00:54:06I don't want to live
00:54:07in a world that just
00:54:08begins and ends
00:54:08with being gay.
00:54:10I like having all sorts
00:54:11of people around.
00:54:11Kids and old folks.
00:54:12Every sort of person
00:54:13there is.
00:54:14I don't want to live
00:54:15in a world without women.
00:54:16I like women.
00:54:18Me and the girls
00:54:19in the office
00:54:19get on great.
00:54:20They know and they don't care.
00:54:20We laugh about it.
00:54:21Fancy the same blokes
00:54:22sometimes.
00:54:24Even fancied
00:54:24a couple of the girls.
00:54:26Done it with a few of them
00:54:26just to make sure
00:54:27I wasn't missing out
00:54:27on anything.
00:54:28You've done it with girls?
00:54:30You never told me that.
00:54:32Yeah.
00:54:34I didn't want you
00:54:34to get your hopes up.
00:54:36Do you like it?
00:54:36See what I mean?
00:54:38Hey, man.
00:54:40Bugger it.
00:54:41Could you get it up?
00:54:43Of course I could.
00:54:43It's not exactly
00:54:44an obstacle course.
00:54:45I quite enjoyed it,
00:54:45actually.
00:54:45Something different.
00:54:47But they just don't
00:54:48turn me on like men do.
00:54:54Would you like
00:54:54to try it again?
00:54:56No, Dad.
00:54:56Not off the top, mate.
00:54:57See what I mean
00:54:58about getting your hopes?
00:54:59I like doing it
00:55:00with blokes, Dad.
00:55:01I don't think
00:55:01that's ever going to change
00:55:02because I don't want to.
00:55:03I don't want to be limited
00:55:04by other people's ideas
00:55:05of who I am,
00:55:06yours or anyone else's.
00:55:06I don't think
00:55:07I've ever put
00:55:07any limits on you, Jeff.
00:55:10Dad, I know.
00:55:13You've been great, mate.
00:55:15The best dad
00:55:16in the world, I reckon.
00:55:17Fairest, that's a certain fact.
00:55:20I don't often say it,
00:55:21but it's Christmas, so
00:55:23thanks, man,
00:55:24for everything.
00:55:25I mean, you give me
00:55:26the first-class shits
00:55:27at times.
00:55:27I suppose I do you,
00:55:28but I don't think
00:55:31there's many
00:55:32got a father like you.
00:55:34I'm a very lucky man
00:55:36to have a son like you, mate.
00:55:42What do you reckon?
00:55:48How are we going
00:55:49to get the fucker home?
00:56:04Magnificent.
00:56:05Just what Christmas
00:56:06should be.
00:56:08Ta-da.
00:56:09Not her again.
00:56:10I thought we were
00:56:10going to ditch the bitch.
00:56:11Never.
00:56:12Your mother bought her
00:56:13the first Christmas
00:56:14of our marriage
00:56:15just before you were born.
00:56:16I suppose some people
00:56:18might see that
00:56:19as an omen.
00:56:23She's looking a bit tacky now.
00:56:24Why can't we get
00:56:24a nice star or something?
00:56:26Not as long as I'm alive.
00:56:28You can do what you like
00:56:29when I'm gone.
00:56:31Your mother loved her.
00:56:35I miss her, Dad.
00:56:39I miss her like crazy.
00:56:40Not half as much
00:56:41as I do, lad.
00:56:43It's not possible.
00:56:47Yeah, mate, I know.
00:56:49I'm sorry.
00:56:53I think about her sometimes.
00:56:56Sitting on a fluffy white cloud
00:56:58in a place called Paradise,
00:57:00surrounded by lots of
00:57:02fat little naked babies
00:57:04sprouting wings.
00:57:06Angels playing harps,
00:57:08making pretty music,
00:57:09waiting for me to come along
00:57:11and join her.
00:57:14And it helps sometimes.
00:57:18Sometimes it makes it worse.
00:57:23Sometimes I miss her so much
00:57:26I can hardly wait to hear the pretty music.
00:57:33Come on, Dad.
00:57:35Cheer up, you old pisshead.
00:57:36Give me a hand.
00:57:38Yeah.
00:57:39Why, yeah?
00:57:40Well, you should take a leaf
00:57:40out of your own book, mate.
00:57:41I mean, there's bound to be
00:57:42a few old widows floating around.
00:57:45There's a few young ones, too.
00:57:46Yeah, but I mean,
00:57:46within the realms of possibility, mate.
00:57:48Somebody will fancy it.
00:57:50Would it worry you if there was?
00:57:52Hell no, mate.
00:57:52It'd be great.
00:57:54Well, there is.
00:57:57What?
00:58:00You old dog.
00:58:02How long has this been going on?
00:58:05A while?
00:58:07You are lower than a snake's belly,
00:58:08you know that?
00:58:09Not a single word to me about this.
00:58:10Now, don't go getting all hurt.
00:58:13I just wanted to be sure.
00:58:18Course for celebration?
00:58:20I'll drink to that.
00:58:28So, um,
00:58:31have you, uh,
00:58:34have you stuck it up yet?
00:58:35You dirty bastard!
00:58:37You bastard!
00:58:38Listen, don't you talk about Joyce like that,
00:58:40if you don't mind.
00:58:41She's a very refined kind of person.
00:58:44So, is it love then, Dad?
00:58:48No.
00:58:49I mean, I can't honestly say that it is.
00:58:52But,
00:58:53might be the next best thing.
00:58:56Cheers.
00:58:57Cheers.
00:59:04So, when's it going to be?
00:59:06Well,
00:59:07we haven't set the big day.
00:59:09But you're going to?
00:59:11Yeah.
00:59:12I mean,
00:59:13you know,
00:59:14if she gets on with you.
00:59:15I do not come into this.
00:59:17Unless you need me to move out, or anything.
00:59:19Oh, of course I don't, Jeff.
00:59:20And all would Joyce want that?
00:59:23No, she knows about you.
00:59:25Yeah?
00:59:27You haven't told her everything, have you, Dad?
00:59:31No, not, I mean, not that.
00:59:32Not yet.
00:59:34But look,
00:59:34Joyce is a very kind
00:59:36and understanding woman.
00:59:38You'll love her.
00:59:38And she will love you.
00:59:40And, uh,
00:59:41you know, when things work out,
00:59:42because they will,
00:59:44uh,
00:59:44well,
00:59:44you can stay here,
00:59:45in your own home,
00:59:46as long as you like,
00:59:47until such time as you want to move out,
00:59:48on your own,
00:59:49with someone.
00:59:54Well, I'll be here.
00:59:59Merry Christmas, son.
01:00:00Come here, you old bastard.
01:00:04Merry Christmas, Dad.
01:00:18Joyce.
01:00:20Happy New Year.
01:00:21Happy New Year, Harry.
01:00:31Um,
01:00:32aren't you going to shut the door?
01:00:36Sorry.
01:00:44Oh,
01:00:46is this Jeff?
01:00:48Yes.
01:00:49Well, he's 21st.
01:00:51Oh.
01:00:52Takes after his dad
01:00:53in the looks department.
01:00:54You reckon?
01:00:55Some people say
01:00:56they can't see the resemblance.
01:00:58I find that difficult to believe.
01:01:11I'm,
01:01:12I'm really
01:01:13hanging out for a drink.
01:01:22Make yourself at home.
01:01:23Yeah.
01:01:26Jeff out on the town tonight?
01:01:28Too right.
01:01:29New Year's Eve.
01:01:30Don't expect him home
01:01:31until the morning.
01:01:33Right.
01:01:35This is really pleasant
01:01:37out here, Harry.
01:01:40You sound, uh,
01:01:41surprised.
01:01:42Oh, well, you know,
01:01:44two blokes living together.
01:01:46You keep it really neat
01:01:47and tidy.
01:01:56What are these doing here?
01:02:05To be honest,
01:02:06I bought them.
01:02:08What?
01:02:10Why?
01:02:14Well, uh,
01:02:15Jeff's, uh...
01:02:18Oh.
01:02:20I see.
01:02:23Uh,
01:02:24why didn't you tell me?
01:02:32I was going to.
01:02:33Um,
01:02:33I know I should have.
01:02:34You bought these.
01:02:35You,
01:02:35you encourage him.
01:02:38Jesus,
01:02:38you ought to be ashamed
01:02:39of yourself.
01:02:39You ought to be ashamed
01:02:40of him.
01:02:49I've never been ashamed
01:02:50of Jeff.
01:02:50Not ever.
01:02:52How can I be ashamed
01:02:53of what my seeds become?
01:02:55What my love has become?
01:02:59You couldn't tell me.
01:03:00I mean,
01:03:01it's probably the most
01:03:01important thing in your life
01:03:03and you couldn't tell me.
01:03:04It doesn't change anything.
01:03:06Well,
01:03:06it does to me.
01:03:07All this time I've been
01:03:08thinking I've been
01:03:10getting to know you.
01:03:11You've been lying to me.
01:03:13I never actually lied.
01:03:15It amounts to the same thing.
01:03:24Just meet Jeff.
01:03:25You'll love him.
01:03:26You'll see.
01:03:28Harry,
01:03:28no.
01:03:29I can't.
01:03:30Not now.
01:03:30It's not just him anyway.
01:03:31It's everything.
01:03:34I can't.
01:03:36Joyce.
01:03:37I just need to be
01:03:38on my own for a bit.
01:03:39Sort things out
01:03:40in my head.
01:03:42We're so good
01:03:43for a while there,
01:03:44Harry.
01:03:46If only you'd been honest.
01:04:02Ashamed of Jeff.
01:04:05never.
01:04:05Never.
01:04:08Disappointed.
01:04:09Yeah,
01:04:10disappointed that
01:04:11he'll never give me
01:04:12a grandchild.
01:04:13Disappointed that
01:04:15I honestly believe
01:04:16he'd be missing out
01:04:17on something
01:04:18wonderful.
01:04:19What I had with his mum.
01:04:22Making a baby.
01:04:24Knowing that I'd put
01:04:25the seed in there
01:04:26and watching it grow
01:04:29and then seeing him.
01:04:34But if he's never
01:04:35going to have that,
01:04:37then I want him
01:04:38to have all the things
01:04:39he can have.
01:04:41Our children
01:04:42are only the sum of us.
01:04:44What we add up to.
01:04:46Us and
01:04:47our parents
01:04:48and our grandparents
01:04:50and theirs.
01:04:51All generations.
01:05:28all generations.
01:05:42All generations.
01:05:54I don't know.
01:06:34I said you'd be up soon.
01:06:43Why'd you go and do a silly bloody thing like that for?
01:06:57You've had a bit of a stroke, Dad.
01:07:02It's more than a bit of a one, actually.
01:07:08Did they tell you what it was going to be like?
01:07:20I'll look after you, no sweat.
01:07:24Things will be just the same as always, Dad.
01:07:25I promise.
01:07:34Can I get you anything?
01:07:37Need to go for a wee or something?
01:07:42Silly, I suppose they look after that sort of thing here.
01:07:59Why do you keep moving your head?
01:08:12Can you hear me?
01:08:19Once for years.
01:08:29Twice for now.
01:08:38Dead.
01:08:38Dead.
01:08:39Dead.
01:08:51Dead.
01:08:53Dead.
01:08:56Dead.
01:09:00Dead.
01:09:24Are you knocking off early?
01:09:27What do you mean?
01:09:28It's five past.
01:09:28What are you?
01:09:29A bloody clock watcher now.
01:09:30I thought you might give us a few minutes extra, considering that cock-up you made with
01:09:34that bed of pansies last week.
01:09:40You prick.
01:09:42Don't take any notice.
01:09:43Water off the duck's back.
01:09:46You in a good mood?
01:09:49You piss off.
01:09:50I'll put your gear away.
01:09:52Thanks, mate.
01:10:24Great boys, we'll take it to be a rodeo later.
01:10:26Hey, why don't you come with us, Walter?
01:10:28Come with us.
01:10:29Love to.
01:10:31See you there.
01:10:34See you down there.
01:10:36See you down there.
01:10:38Love is all done.
01:10:42Love vibration.
01:10:44Come on nation.
01:10:46Stay.
01:10:48All right.
01:10:51Police escalate tonight's crowd to be nearly 600,000.
01:10:55This is believed to be the largest crowd ever to never put the game of lesbian party crime.
01:10:59Love.
01:11:06Okay.
01:12:09Oh. What are you doing up?
01:12:12You're late.
01:12:13What have you been doing?
01:12:15What were you doing? You were all over the late news.
01:12:18I was having a good time with my mates.
01:12:20I ought to beat the shit out of you.
01:12:24Well, why don't you try it?
01:12:29Get out. Get out of here now.
01:12:31You can come back once for your things when I'm not here.
01:12:33Then that's it. I'll never want to see you again.
01:12:36He doesn't mean it, Gregory. He's angry.
01:12:39No, he does, Mum.
01:12:41Damn right I do.
01:12:47Fair enough.
01:13:07Here you go, Dad.
01:13:11I'll fix it up a treat, mate.
01:13:14Now, we can talk to each other, sort of.
01:13:16What do you think? It's good, isn't it?
01:13:20No, it's not silly, mate. It's good.
01:13:22It works well.
01:13:24I thought we'd have an outing, Sabo.
01:13:26Take you down to the supermarket.
01:13:28Pick up a nice bit of fish for your tea.
01:13:30Some of that frozen lasagna you like so much.
01:13:34Here's the remote. You want it on?
01:13:44What about your wee pan?
01:13:45Need a piss?
01:13:47Come on, Harry.
01:13:48You know you're not going to be able to piss in the supermarket.
01:13:49All right?
01:13:51All right.
01:13:52Just go and get us ready.
01:13:53I can take it.
01:14:00The trouble with having a stroke
01:14:02is that people treat you like a fuckwit afterwards.
01:14:28Shut up, Dad. Don't make a run.
01:14:40Jeff.
01:14:44G'day.
01:14:45Thought it was you.
01:14:46G'day, Greg.
01:14:48How you going, Mr. Mitchell?
01:14:50Not too good, by little things.
01:14:52Dad's had a bit of a stroke.
01:14:53Yeah, I heard.
01:14:53Down the pub.
01:14:55He can't speak or anything,
01:14:56but he knows it's you.
01:14:58How can you tell?
01:15:01He just can.
01:15:04So, how are things?
01:15:05Oh, not bad.
01:15:06I've left home.
01:15:08You folks?
01:15:09Mum's been great, but Dad...
01:15:10Yeah.
01:15:12Found a place of my own, actually.
01:15:13Studio flat, they call it.
01:15:14It's quite nice,
01:15:15but hardly enough room to speak a cat.
01:15:17It's pretty expensive.
01:15:20I would have thought you would have found
01:15:22some nice friend to move in with.
01:15:25I wish.
01:15:27You know, I do meet blokes,
01:15:29but they're all only after one thing.
01:15:31It's not everything in life, is it?
01:15:34I can't understand it.
01:15:46Look, we'd better push off.
01:15:47I've got to get Dad home.
01:15:50Yeah, of course.
01:15:56I'll see you later, Miss Mitchell.
01:15:57Hope you're feeling better soon.
01:15:58Yeah, thanks, Greg.
01:16:00Listen, I might drop around one night
01:16:01and make sure he's looking after you proper.
01:16:03It'll probably be a bit difficult.
01:16:05If you don't want me to.
01:16:06No, it's just, it's, you know,
01:16:07a little difficult with Dad.
01:16:09You've got to have a life of your own, surely.
01:16:10Yeah, of course, Dad.
01:16:11Dad, Dad.
01:16:12Yeah, of course I do.
01:16:13It's just, you know,
01:16:14maybe when he's a bit better, eh?
01:16:16Yep.
01:16:17Drew, see you later.
01:16:36Yeah, two ticks.
01:16:41No, sorry.
01:16:43Don't want any.
01:16:43Jeff, my name's Joyce Johnson.
01:16:45I'm a friend of your Dad's.
01:16:47Joyce, yeah.
01:16:49Sorry, come in.
01:16:51How is he?
01:16:55As well as can be expected, you know.
01:16:57Doc says he'll never walk in.
01:16:58He can't speak, of course.
01:17:00Do you want to see him?
01:17:02I didn't realise it was that bad.
01:17:04Be pleased to see her.
01:17:10Dad?
01:17:11Someone to see her.
01:17:13Harry?
01:17:15I'm so sorry about you.
01:17:18About you being sick.
01:17:20Oh, he's not sick now.
01:17:22Look, I'll leave you two alone so you can have a chat.
01:17:25Look, it's all right.
01:17:26I just dropped by.
01:17:27I'll make a cup of tea.
01:17:46I'm really sorry, Harry.
01:17:50I'm really sorry, Harry.
01:17:52I'm so sorry.
01:18:20I still is.
01:18:21I always wanted to go down the park for a walk, walk down the shop, so I'll wiggle, I should
01:18:26say.
01:18:27Must be difficult for you.
01:18:29No, no.
01:18:30I've got a nurse who comes in three times a week, and it's my dad, you know.
01:18:37I'll drop in again sometime.
01:18:40He likes visitors.
01:18:45Sorry, I gave you such a hard time before.
01:18:46I thought you wanted them missionaries.
01:18:47We get a lot of them around here.
01:18:49When it's blokes like the Mormons, I just open the door and tell them I'm Puffter and watch them blush.
01:18:53You tell them what?
01:18:55I'm Puffter.
01:18:57Didn't he tell you?
01:18:59Yeah, he was going to.
01:19:00He was a bit worried about how he might react.
01:19:01No, and you.
01:19:04You're nothing like I expected.
01:19:12Real sweet on you, he was.
01:19:16Had his heart set on you.
01:19:28How was it?
01:19:29Are you okay?
01:19:32Oh, there's no fool like an old fool.
01:19:34Isn't that what they say?
01:19:37That's an old man.
01:19:41No, but I'm a fool.
01:20:15My mother was 80.
01:20:17She was getting infirm, and Mary was a bit younger.
01:20:23But neither of them could look after each other anymore.
01:20:25And we all made the decision to split them up.
01:20:30My brother took mum, and Mary went to a home.
01:20:36It was for their own good.
01:20:39How many times do we tell ourselves that?
01:20:43We drove mum away, and she didn't say a word.
01:20:47She didn't speak for days.
01:20:48She just sat in a new bedroom with a suitcase full of memories.
01:20:54And she died in her sleep one night not long after that.
01:21:01And I never had the chance or the guts to ask her the one thing I wanted to know.
01:21:11I've always wanted to know what they said to each other that last night, lying there in that great old
01:21:19brass bed, knowing that it was for the last time, knowing that they were never going to see each other
01:21:25again, knowing that they were being taken away to different places to die.
01:21:32I can't imagine what they would have said.
01:21:34How do you say thank you for 40 years of love?
01:21:40What words could you possibly find?
01:21:43And by then, they were both as deaf as posts.
01:21:48They lie there shouting their love and their goodbyes to each other.
01:21:54Did they find comfort in the idea that they might meet again soon in the next world?
01:22:04So I don't know what I would have said to Jeffrey if I'd known the stroke was going to happen.
01:22:10I know I'd have said something.
01:22:14Only now I'll never know what it was.
01:22:17Okay, Dad. Time for number twos.
01:22:25I'll be back in a minute to wipe your bum.
01:22:27Got the fish on for tea, right?
01:22:32I used to imagine in my darker moments that it'd be the other way around.
01:22:36That, uh, you know, he'd catch that dreadful disease and I'd be the one nursing him to the grave.
01:22:43Not this.
01:22:45Dear God.
01:22:49Anything but this.
01:22:51Ugh.
01:22:52Maybe in a few years' time when I'm gone he'll find someone.
01:22:56Even if it's only out of sheer bloody loneliness.
01:23:01But it won't be love.
01:23:04Because by then he'll have forgotten how.
01:23:08I can't imagine anything worse could happen to a human being than that.
01:23:19I can't imagine anything worse could happen to a human being than a human being than a human being than
01:23:24a human being than a human being than a human being than a human being.
01:23:36Come on, come on.
01:23:37Ripple of the day, isn't it?
01:23:40Weather reports that it was going to rain.
01:23:42They still don't get it right very often, do they?
01:23:46Bye.
01:23:53I'll get an ice cream on the way home.
01:23:54You fancy an ice cream?
01:23:59I don't suppose you could manage an ice pot,
01:24:01not unless I chopped it up for you.
01:24:02I'd be a bit messy.
01:24:14You need a wee or anything, Dad?
01:24:16I don't know.
01:24:16I don't know.
01:24:20Well, I do.
01:24:23Keep it right, Dad.
01:24:24It won't be long.
01:24:44G'day.
01:24:47Fancy meeting you here.
01:24:50I'm planning.
01:24:51What?
01:24:53I'm...
01:24:53Yeah, yeah, I know.
01:24:54I saw you from over there.
01:24:55Well, I wasn't actually sure it was yours,
01:24:56just having a perv.
01:25:01Nice legs.
01:25:04Looking pretty fit yourself.
01:25:06No, no, I need some sun.
01:25:08At least you've got a tan.
01:25:11It's only my arms and legs.
01:25:13The rest of me is as white as a gust.
01:25:17It looks all right to me.
01:25:23You didn't come and see Dad?
01:25:27Well, I didn't think you wanted me to.
01:25:30Yeah, look, sorry I was a bit off last time I saw you,
01:25:32but I wasn't sure how you'd react to Dad, you know?
01:25:36It's not the most romantic thing in the world, is it,
01:25:38looking after your father after he's had a stroke?
01:25:43I thought you might think it was too domestic.
01:25:49Look, the thing is, um...
01:25:53I'd really like to see you again.
01:26:01I'd really like to see you again.
01:26:09You all right, then, Dad?
01:26:14I'll read to you for a bit, eh?
01:26:15Want me to read to you?
01:26:18What do you want to do?
01:26:19Sit here and listen to the flowers grow.
01:26:22All right.
01:26:24Sorry I was a while, but I ran into young Greg.
01:26:27You probably remember him best as Gary.
01:26:30Could've knocked me down with a feather.
01:26:32I don't suppose it's only natural.
01:26:33Him being a gardener and this being a gardener.
01:26:38I couldn't help myself.
01:26:39I asked him home for tea one night.
01:26:41I was thinking he'd just say,
01:26:42oh, yeah, and that'd be that.
01:26:43He could've knocked me down with a feather
01:26:44when he said, would tomorrow be all right?
01:26:46Yeah, Ripper, I said.
01:26:49I was a bit worried about you.
01:26:51How I'd feel about you.
01:26:52But he just shrugged and said,
01:26:54that's life, isn't it?
01:26:56And he said he'd bring his toothbrush.
01:26:59I mean, that's making it fairly plain, isn't it?
01:27:00Might even stay the night.
01:27:05I'm not going to rush things, though.
01:27:08Joe, cool this time.
01:27:09You just watch me.
01:27:10Not too cool, though.
01:27:11I don't want him to think I'm not interested, you know?
01:27:13I'm just going to be me.
01:27:18Whoever that is.
01:27:23What's up, Dad?
01:27:25What's the matter, mate?
01:27:26You're crying.
01:27:27Hey, what's wrong?
01:27:30Hey, come on.
01:27:31It can't be that bad, whatever it is.
01:27:33Come on.
01:27:34It's all right, dry your eyes.
01:27:35Come on.
01:27:36Me?
01:27:39Don't, Dad, please.
01:27:41Breaks me up to see you like this.
01:27:42You know it does.
01:27:45Nothing to get upset about, mate.
01:27:48I'm here.
01:27:49I'll always be here.
01:27:51Okay?
01:27:56Hey, Greg.
01:27:58If only you want him to come to tea.
01:28:03Oh, why not?
01:28:03I'll stop him if you want me to.
01:28:04I've got his number.
01:28:07Is that it?
01:28:08Dad, come on.
01:28:09Dad.
01:28:09Dad.
01:28:10Dad.
01:28:10Dad.
01:28:11Come on.
01:28:11Tell me.
01:28:13One buzz for yes.
01:28:14Two buzzes for no.
01:28:19Yes, you want me to cancel.
01:28:25No, you don't want me to?
01:28:27Yes.
01:28:29That's what I thought.
01:28:30You all right?
01:28:32You sure?
01:28:33Silly old bugger getting yourself worked up over things, eh?
01:28:36Nothing to worry about, Dad.
01:28:38I promise.
01:28:39A lot of worry in the world.
01:28:43Turned out real nice after all, didn't it?
01:28:46I wonder if it would show up.
01:28:57Somewhere deep inside, something's got a hold on you.
01:29:06And it's pushing me aside
01:29:10So you'd stretch on forever
01:29:14And I know I'm right
01:29:19For the first time in my life
01:29:25That's why I tell you
01:29:29You'd better be home soon
01:29:36Stripping back the coast
01:29:39The lies and deception
01:29:45Back to nothingness