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Temptation Island - Season 1 - Episode 10: Final Bonfire - Part 1 EngSub
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00:07Previously on Temptation Island.
00:10Are those freaking dolphins?
00:12Oh my gosh, it is a dolphin.
00:14It's a crazy feeling how close I feel to Catherine.
00:17Oh, shut up.
00:18Wow.
00:19Definitely looking forward to some more intimacy with her.
00:22You're crazy.
00:24You feel okay?
00:25Yeah, I feel good.
00:27I'm really sad.
00:28Everything is coming to an end.
00:29And I have a hard conversation that I'm going to have to have with John.
00:33It was like the perfect night.
00:35I didn't expect to be tempted at all.
00:36And I gave in.
00:38But I haven't stopped thinking about Nicole.
00:41And just hope we can work things out.
00:43I love the person I'm with.
00:45But I'm not deeply in love.
00:46And I want that.
00:48Tyler has really opened up my mind to what a real relationship could be.
00:54You're not going to tempt me.
00:58You'll never forget me.
01:01You're not going to tempt me.
01:03Oh, you're not gonna tell me
01:11You'll never forget me
01:15You're not gonna tell me
01:26Hey guys, I'm here to tell you that
01:30ladies, unfortunately
01:34this is goodbye
01:37What?
01:39Your time on the island has ended
01:42and I want you to keep in mind that
01:44depending on what these gentlemen decided
01:46their final bonfire
01:47for some of you this could be goodbye forever
01:53This does not feel right to me
01:55This isn't what I expected
01:57This isn't what I wanted
01:58I'll give you a moment to say your goodbyes
02:00and then you can gather your things
02:01and it'll be time to leave the villa
02:02I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling right now
02:05but it's not good
02:10This has been amazing
02:11It's changed my entire life
02:13It's changed what I want
02:15what I thought I wanted
02:16everything, everything, okay?
02:18Okay
02:21Oh my gosh, I'm extra, extra nervous
02:24Baby, hey, hey
02:25He just said bonfire
02:27so I should be able to handle it
02:28and that's what you wanted, right?
02:30I gotta handle what I gotta handle
02:32You got faith in me?
02:34No
02:37What is he checking in on?
02:40I'm telling myself that I feel confident
02:42that he wants to be with me
02:43but seeing Casey in person
02:45I feel will make him crumble
02:47because he feels guilty for hurting her
02:54I have no idea where your head's at
02:57What are you thinking?
02:58I don't know, I just, it's like
03:00I know it's gonna be tough
03:01because I do love Katie
03:02like, it's like I still want to
03:04just get things resolved
03:08I want to hear Katie's side of the story
03:10because I've literally
03:11You've seen her side of the story
03:14Yeah
03:14I want John
03:16like, I want to be around him
03:17I mean, at this point
03:19like, if I could just have more days with him
03:21I'm literally just going on a day with me
03:24I'm afraid that he's gonna go with what's comfortable
03:28and is easy
03:30and he's not going to have enough confidence
03:35to go after someone that he deserves
03:39You alright?
03:42Yeah, it's just hard
03:45I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you cry
03:49You literally helped me through this whole experience
03:51become the better man
03:52you know, and I'm thankful for you
03:54I'm glad I met you too
03:55like, you look like my first, like, female friend
03:57you know
03:58But I'm so proud of you
04:00and just your openness
04:01throughout this whole process
04:03and your faithfulness
04:04and your respect that you've had
04:06for your relationship
04:06Shari has a good man
04:08and she is lucky
04:09I held it down
04:10Yeah, you showed me that there are good men out there
04:13I mean, he didn't
04:14Hopefully I didn't take the bar too high
04:15Yeah, I mean, it's quite high
04:19It's a bit bittersweet to say goodbye to Kayla
04:20She's one of my good friends
04:21We developed a relationship
04:22a connection in this house
04:23So me saying bye to her right now
04:25was pretty hard
04:26But at the end of the day
04:27you know, I'm ready to see my baby girl
04:28And this experience has shown me
04:30I'm more than capable and ready
04:31to be devoted to one woman's rest of my life
04:33Oh, what a ride
04:34Right, right?
04:35And I made a great friend
04:37I made a good friend too
04:38Jay Van
04:39Kayla Kay
04:42This has been amazing
04:44Like, you're an amazing person
04:45You're a beautiful person
04:46I've never met a match that
04:48you know, met me
04:50intellectually
04:51Obviously, I care for you
04:52I care for your feelings
04:53I know
04:55that you feel vulnerable
04:57and it's just wild
04:58that we ended up
04:59connecting like this
05:01But I've always told you
05:03since this has started
05:05that, you know
05:05I'm gonna have to go home
05:07I'm gonna have to have conversations
05:10I hope you have a great life
05:12whether I see you again
05:13I hope you have an amazing life
05:16whether I see you again or not
05:17I'm sure I will
05:20I don't know what that's gonna look like
05:22but I'm sure I'll see you again
05:26I had an amazing time with Brittany
05:29but I still love Nicole
05:30and I'm not ready to give up on our relationship just yet
05:32regardless of what has gone on
05:35I know that Nicole and I still have to talk
05:38Do you think this is a goodbye?
05:40I don't know
05:41It might be a see you later
05:43I-I don't know
05:46Do you have any last words?
05:48Because
05:48No, it's tripping me up a lot
05:51Everything you're saying
05:52just feels really distant
05:53all of a sudden
05:55You said, I hope you have a great life
05:57no matter what happens
05:57No matter what
06:01Put yourself in my shoes
06:02I'm sure you have numerous times
06:04but this is not
06:05Of course I have
06:05This just feels really weird
06:07and different to me right now
06:08Because there's applied pressure
06:10that's why
06:13I gotta go back to Chicago
06:15and say, hey
06:16are we done?
06:17Are we moving forward?
06:18What are we doing?
06:19And even if we move forward
06:21it's gonna hurt
06:21like hell
06:23You're right
06:24So go back
06:25and be in your shitty relationship
06:27and I'll go home
06:28and I'll figure out
06:28how to get over it
06:30I've been with her
06:31for two and a half years
06:32I'm not closing the door on her
06:33There's no way I'm doing it
06:35Gotcha
06:35Not yet
06:36Complete truth comes out
06:37Oh, I've already shared that with you
06:39Not like that
06:40You knew it was coming
06:41You called it
06:41Not like this
06:42I didn't know this was coming
06:43based on the way it felt
06:46He was saying this whole time
06:48that he had never felt
06:49so connected to someone else
06:50before in his life
06:51I thought it was something real
06:53but I feel like I was tricked
06:54in some way
06:57I'm glad that I was able
06:58to help you strengthen
06:59your relationship
07:02I just hope you didn't
07:03use me for that
07:04Use you?
07:05No, don't
07:06No, that's just what it feels like
07:07and I want to say that to you
07:09before I can't say anything to you
07:11because this conversation
07:12feels really weird
07:13Stop
07:14There's no way in hell
07:15I could forget about you
07:17You're a blessing
07:18Stop it
07:22I didn't expect to open up
07:24and to connect to someone
07:25on this level
07:26but if it was false
07:28it was false
07:28and I'll learn from it
07:31I'm sorry ladies
07:32unfortunately it's time to go
07:37This is crazy
07:38This is over
07:39We probably just happened yesterday
07:40Bye guys
07:41Bye
07:41Bye John
07:42Bye Kayla
07:43I'll see you soon
07:44It's been a crazy journey
07:46but I've really connected
07:47with the girls in the house
07:49I see them as like
07:50true friends
07:51after this whole experience
07:52Double up
07:52Bye guys
07:53I don't want to throw up
07:54Thank you ladies
07:56God damn man
07:57Guys, come with me
07:58That's abrupt
07:58Let's take a minute
08:07I just have so many questions
08:09that are unanswered at this point
08:11Ultimately I'm just
08:12anxious to hear what Katie has to say
08:14like her side of the story
08:15That was not easy, was it?
08:18No
08:18There's a reason we say goodbye
08:20to the girls you have connected with
08:21here in the villa
08:22because it's impossible
08:23to get your head entirely clear
08:25when people that you have feelings for
08:27are around
08:27Right
08:28However, next time I see you guys
08:30is going to be at your final bonfire
08:31where you'll be reunited
08:33with the person you came to the island with
08:35I need you to really think about
08:37what you're going to say to your partner
08:39and also what you want your future to look like
08:42when you leave the island
08:43Take the night to reflect on what you're going to say
08:45and I'll see you at Bonfire
08:46I have a very, very difficult conversation
08:48to have with Casey
08:49It's going to be the hardest thing
08:51I think I've ever done in my life
08:52but I know exactly what needs to be said
09:10Back home
09:11We're home, yes
09:12So tell me about you guys
09:14What'd you guys do?
09:15Drink some wine
09:16Then we hit the hot tub
09:18and watch the sunset
09:19Oh, pretty
09:20And I got you guys all flowers
09:22Oh, yeah, you picked them
09:24You're so cute
09:26You guys all blossom and groove from this experience
09:29Oh
09:31Oh, my God
09:32And these are, like, perfect
09:33Yeah, they're literally awesome
09:35I love them
09:36Oh, my gosh
09:36And obviously the best for last
09:38Oh, thanks
09:39Justin has a genuine heart
09:41I didn't really want to give anyone a chance with connecting
09:44And now that I have
09:45I just feel like we've built, like, such a strong bond
09:49Cheers to making new friends
09:51And I will always remember all of the connections I made here
09:55Cheers
09:56Cheers
09:56I love you all
09:58Hi, guys
10:02Sorry to drop in on you unannounced
10:04And unfortunately, I'm here to tell you that, gentlemen
10:09Your journey is up
10:10It's time to leave the villa
10:12So I'm going to give you a chance to say your goodbyes
10:15But I want to remind you that for some of you
10:18That could be goodbye forever
10:20Depending on how things shape out in the final bonfire
10:23So I'll give you some time
10:25Say your goodbyes
10:26I'll come back in a few minutes
10:27And let you know when it's time to actually exit the villa, okay?
10:31All right, well, that sucks
10:33It's just such a tough time
10:36All of us connected with each other so much
10:38And we care about each other
10:39So it's tough
10:41I just want to tell you
10:42You're an amazing chick
10:43Thank you
10:43And you've been doing really well
10:46And you're in really good headspace
10:47Thank you
10:48And I want you to stay confident
10:49I'm scared for tomorrow
10:50And be strong
10:50I will be strong, I promise
10:52And I'll be there for you, always
10:55Thank you
10:56So
10:56You're a good one
10:58I'm not bad
10:59You're not bad
11:00I'm all right
11:00It's definitely an emotional goodbye
11:02Like we're all kind of fighting back tears
11:04Val has really helped me through this process
11:07He's an amazing guy
11:08And he'll always be close to me and a friend
11:11To you
11:12Thank you
11:12Okay?
11:13Mm-hmm
11:15Now come in, bring you in for a look
11:16Thank you for everything
11:19You too, thank you for, you know
11:20I'm glad we spent the last, like, day together
11:23Me too
11:23It was really fun
11:25Same
11:26I feel like we just started to understand each other
11:29And, like, learn about each other
11:31And build, like, a good connection
11:33It's sad to leave
11:35But you know how I feel
11:37I'm here to be your friend through everything
11:40Yeah, I appreciate that
11:41I love Javen
11:42But I could maybe see myself with Justin
11:45Personality-wise, like, Justin and me are a little
11:49Are more alike, I feel
11:51I definitely feel like I was meant to be here
11:53And go through this
11:54Because otherwise my life would have just been, like, in a stagnant place
11:58Yeah, exactly
12:02I don't want it to end
12:04Me too
12:06I'm definitely gonna miss you
12:07You know that
12:07But, um, I do think that we will see each other again
12:10Yeah
12:10It's just a blessing that we met
12:13I didn't think meeting one person could, like, change this much inside of me
12:16Like, give me a whole new perspective
12:19So you did well
12:21I really appreciate Tyler and my life
12:23He's helped me realize a lot of different things
12:24And I feel like we've opened up emotionally and physically
12:28Hopefully Tyler and I can stay in touch
12:30And build a deeper connection and a deeper friendship
12:33And who knows what that could lead to one day
12:35There was no one else in the house that I felt like I could open up to
12:37As much as I've opened up to you
12:38So it's sad that all of us have to say goodbye
12:41But I feel like I've learned so much
12:44I'm not gonna forget
12:46Oh, man
12:48I'm not really ready to go
12:49No, I'm not like either
12:53You know, I'm so grateful that I met you here
12:58And you've changed my life for the better
13:05I care about Johnny a lot
13:08We got really close
13:10And I just know that, like, things will never be like it is how it is here
13:14You know, you need to deal with your situation
13:17Yeah
13:17And if you come out of this and you still want to be in that situation
13:22I won't hold that against you
13:25We're about to be entering into real life
13:27And things aren't easy there
13:30I'm just not ready to say goodbye to you
13:31Oh, no
13:33It's gonna be hard
13:35I pray every day to meet somebody like Katie
13:37And this is the last possible place I would expect to look for and find her
13:41But I opened up my mind and my heart to a wonderful person, a wonderful human being
13:47She's got a lot of heavy stuff on her plate right now
13:50But I think once the dust clears, her and I will be able to reconnect
13:55Bye, guys
13:55Bye
13:56Bye
13:56It's been a pleasure
13:58Thank you, Johnny
14:00This experience has been a lot more real than I ever intended it to be or expected it to be
14:04And never thought that I would come here and actually develop feelings for somebody
14:10God
14:10Bring it
14:11Bye, girls
14:12Bye
14:13Bye, love you
14:13Bye, love you guys
14:15Katie, don't cry
14:16Possibility of a closed chapter
14:20Just, you know, entering into the unknown is always scary
14:23I hated breaking up that vibe that was in here
14:26I'm sorry about that
14:27But it was time
14:29And I wanted to chat with you for a moment so that you could be prepared for what's coming
14:33Okay
14:34The next time I see you will be at your final bonfire
14:38And that's where you're going to see the person you came to this island with
14:45This is a time that's really important for you to reflect on your entire experience
14:50And face the ultimate question in that answer
14:52Which is, are you with the partner you should be with?
14:58I want you to spend the time really composing what it is you will need to say
15:02So, like, write it out
15:03Half of me is just, like, done and wants to go home and get Evan out of my apartment
15:07And just start over
15:08Good night
15:09Bye
15:09Thank you
15:11But this is someone that I thought is, like, my best friend
15:13Love of my life
15:14How do you walk away from that?
15:18I've, I literally grew up with him
15:20Yeah
15:20And I can't just be, like
15:25You know, my world is going to be rocked
15:27No matter which way
15:29Like, it's going to be rocked
15:31You know, like, I have to go home to him
15:33So it's like, yeah, no, you're
15:34I don't know what our future holds
15:36It's not looking good
15:39But we have some major, major shit to talk about
15:42And we have to figure our life out
15:44Whether it's together or very much apart
16:02This is the hardest thing I've had to deal with
16:06We came here hoping that this experience would make us stronger
16:08Standing in front of you are 24 single men and women
16:13We're all here for one reason, that's to find love
16:15I know you're so much
16:16I came in here strong
16:18And I thought Nicole and I, we'd go home stronger
16:21I don't want, like, something crazy to happen to, like, amplifies our problems
16:26I didn't expect to be tempted at all
16:28You know, I thought it was going to be smooth sailing for me
16:30And I had nothing to worry about
16:33When I look at you, I feel, like, really silly
16:36And, like, smile and kind of giddy
16:39Yeah, me
16:40Yeah
16:42Vulnerable, I guess
16:44Brittany literally came out of nowhere
16:46Sweet dreams
16:47Um, almost want to let you do what you said
16:50But I don't think it's going to be a good idea
16:51Good night
16:54I kept Nicole on my mind this entire time
16:57But where my weakness came was when I saw Nicole get in bed with someone else
17:07That's where I became weak and let my guard down and let loose a little bit
17:13You troublemaker
17:15Brittany kind of just captured my mind and we slept together
17:19I don't feel proud of it, but I know that I have to have a conversation with Nicole
17:25Being honest and truthful with each other about our whole experience, that's the true test
17:30I still love her, but whether we leave this island together, I don't know
17:40I came to this island because I wanted answers to my relationship
17:46Hi, Carl, welcome, glad to have you here
17:48Nicole
17:49Nicole
17:49Nice to meet you
17:50How you feeling?
17:51I'm nervous
17:52Good
17:52In the beginning of this journey, I felt like I was very timid
17:55And Carl didn't have a lot of faith in my loyalty coming into this situation
18:00My boyfriend is worried that I'm going to do something because I'm younger than him
18:03And he doesn't, I feel like, have trust in me
18:06I didn't like having to come here to prove myself to someone
18:08I didn't feel like I needed to do that
18:10So even if things might get rough on this island, once it's all over
18:13I just hope that you're smiling
18:15Aww
18:16Since I've been here, I have really just let my guard down
18:19And, like, opened up to these guys and it's really allowed me to be vulnerable
18:23If you're not being treated the way you deserve to be treated
18:25Don't make excuses for the reason you're not being treated those ways
18:28It's time to try again
18:33Tyler has really opened up my mind to what a real relationship could be
18:37We've made an emotional connection that is deeper than I thought it could be
18:41Wake up, wake up
18:43And grieving in
18:46I have realized what is going to make me happy in life
18:49And it's ultimately up to me to allow the next decision
18:54Whether that's continuing in my relationship or continuing a different route
18:58Find a fire and a fire within me
19:11Katie and I came into this experience expecting to really test our loyalty to each other
19:16We were looking at rings before we came onto Temptation Island
19:19Love you
19:20Be closer after all this
19:22That's right
19:24And so, from the very beginning, I had walls up
19:27You're still definitely my biggest attraction for sure
19:30But the only way you would have something with me is if she messed up
19:36I wanted to show my loyalty to Katie
19:38Which I proved up until the fourth bonfire video
19:42And she's in bed with another man
19:46That really hurt
19:56That's when I had to make that decision
19:58Am I going to just grieve and be miserable the rest of this experience?
20:02Obviously, I'm attracted to you
20:04What is it after every storm there's a rainbow?
20:10Or am I going to open up myself to getting to know Katherine
20:13And on an emotional and physical level?
20:17Tonight, I see Katie for our final bonfire
20:20I'm ready to hear her side of the story
20:22I really don't know if this is going to be the end of Katie and I's relationship
20:26It's going to be really hard to recover from this
20:28But I'm just looking forward to closure
20:38There's no doubt in my mind that coming to Temptation Island was the right move for John and I's relationship
20:44Hi, how are you? I'm Katie
20:45Hi, Katie
20:46And I've come into this experience with an open heart and an open mind
20:49We have one life to live
20:50I don't want to waste it on the wrong person
20:52You don't either
20:52You know, if we were meant to be
20:54Then it'll drive me closer to him and drive us closer together
20:57I just don't want to hurt you, buddy
20:58I understand that
21:00Like, do you know how badly I want to kiss you?
21:03And I might leave here regretting not trying
21:05I've allowed the process to take over and do what it was supposed to do
21:09Yes! Good job!
21:11Johnny possesses the leadership quality about him that John doesn't
21:18Johnny makes me feel really special
21:19I feel like I pray for someone like you every day
21:22That doesn't mean I don't love John
21:27I'm really feeling guilty and bad and sad
21:30He broke down to our crying in this video
21:32I feel really f***ing guilty and I feel really selfish
21:35I feel like I let him down
21:44Like I let myself down
21:46When I see John, it is going to be extremely emotional and difficult
22:05Look what I've done
22:08I broke down again
22:10I fought and I lost
22:13And I thought I could win
22:16Going into this bonfire, I feel like my mind is pretty made up
22:19I just feel deep inside that I'm not supposed to be with Carl
22:24I think it's going to be difficult to say that to him
22:27But it's what should happen and it's what my gut is telling me
22:30He took me by surprise
22:33He took me by the hand
22:35He taught me to fly
22:38But I forgot how to land
22:41I haven't seen Nicole in I don't know how long
22:44I've seen a lot of things that have hurt me and upset me
22:47But I'm sure Nicole has seen some things that she didn't necessarily like that I did either
22:53Despite of everything that's happened, I still love her
22:55I just need to know if she still loves me too
22:59Stuck here in this old town
23:02Looking for a home
23:04I can't burn down
23:07There's nobody left now
23:10It's just me and this ghost town
23:13Looking for a home
23:15That can't be found
23:18Hey Carl
23:20How you doing bud?
23:27You're okay?
23:28Yeah
23:28Last time I saw you I told you to really reflect and get your thoughts together
23:32Were you able to do that?
23:33Definitely
23:34Are you a little nervous?
23:36A little bit
23:37Ready to just have a conversation with her
23:40Okay, I'll bring her in right now
23:55Hi Nicole
23:55Hi
23:57Hi
23:57Hi
23:58Hi
24:02Hi
24:11All right guys, this is it
24:13This is your final bonfire
24:15And this is a chance for one of you to speak
24:17And have the other one listen
24:18And then we'll talk about what you've decided
24:22Carl, I'm going to let you speak first
24:24The floor is yours
24:28Hello
24:30Um
24:34This has been a crazy experience
24:35For both of us, I'm sure
24:37Um
24:39We both came into this hoping that this will make us stronger
24:42And give us some clarity on just what we're doing and where we're going
24:46A major thing that we are trying to work on is trust
24:49And you hope that I can trust you more
24:52During the bonfire I saw you getting in bed with somebody else
24:59And being intimate with them and seeing them touch you the way I touch you
25:03It hurt me a lot
25:04And after seeing that
25:07I thought
25:08It was only right for me to open up at that point
25:11Um
25:12But then I did make a connection with Brittany
25:16And then it went too far
25:18I
25:20Broke our rules that we discussed
25:22I'm sorry for that
25:25I don't know what it's going to look like going forward with you
25:29Um
25:30I hope that we can figure something out but I'm not sure what that's going to look like
25:38Nicole I know it's tough to just listen and not speak
25:41There's a reason we do it this way
25:43Now it's your time to speak and be heard
25:47Carl
25:47All you can do is listen
25:49You ready Nicole?
26:00I
26:01I was very confused
26:02At why we came here
26:04And
26:05I really did
26:07Want to prove my loyalty to you
26:09Because I know that that's an aspect that you questioned in our relationship
26:12I was definitely very confused in the beginning
26:14But at that point I realized that all the couples were here for a reason
26:18So I really wanted to figure out what our purpose was
26:21I finally was able to start reflecting on our relationship
26:24And by being here and being away from you for this amount of time
26:27It really allowed me to like open up my heart
26:30And
26:31It just showed me that
26:32I had a wall up
26:34And
26:34I wasn't allowing myself to dig deep
26:36And
26:37Really allow myself to be affectionate
26:39And
26:39I feel as though our love is very surface level
26:42And I feel like we haven't been able to build a deep
26:47Passionate connection with one another
26:48And I feel as though that's because
26:50We're pushing some of our issues under the rug
26:54If we choose to move forward together
26:56We would have to be really strong and want to learn and grow
26:58For both of us to be happy
27:02Thank you Nicole
27:04I saw you both listening intently
27:06Hearing with new ears to a voice you may not have heard before
27:10So Carl
27:11Now it's time
27:12To make a decision
27:15To stay together with Nicole
27:17To leave this island alone
27:20Or
27:21Is it to leave this island with someone else?
27:25You can tell Nicole
27:33Regardless of the clips I've seen
27:35I still think that there's something there
27:40And I'm standing here and I'm saying yes
27:42I still choose
27:46Nicole you hear Carl's decision
27:47That he wants to stay with you
27:49And
27:50Work this out
27:51Now is your chance to answer the same question
27:53Do you want to stay with Carl?
27:56Or
27:56Will you be leaving the island alone?
27:59Or
28:00Will you leave the island with someone else
28:01That you've connected with?
28:02It's for you to tell Carl
28:05Yeah
28:29Nicole you hear Carl's decision
28:30Now is your chance to answer the same question
28:33Do you want to stay with Carl?
28:36Or
28:36Will you be leaving the island alone?
28:39Or
28:40Will you leave the island with someone else
28:41That you've connected with?
28:43It's for you to tell Carl
28:57I want to go home together and figure it out
29:01So you've decided
29:03You and Carl will stay together as a couple?
29:08Yeah
29:08Yeah
29:08I
29:09I
29:10I do want to go home and figure it out
29:13Okay
29:16Nothing would make me happier than to send you guys home
29:19Knowing that you guys have learned things about each other
29:21And have made room for each other to grow together
29:24Your words both say you want to be together
29:27But you haven't seen each other for a month
29:29You didn't even shake hands
29:30What's going on?
29:31What's really going on here?
29:33I mean you want to stay together
29:35I want you to stay together
29:37What's the awkward thing here?
29:40Yeah, I'll speak
29:41I mean first off
29:42I think
29:44It's weird that we haven't seen each other
29:46I feel your body energy is a little off
29:49A lot of stuff has gone on
29:51And it has been a long time
29:53But
29:53So what have I done
29:56That doesn't bring depth to our relationship?
29:58This is two and a half years
30:00You gotta
30:00You gotta gain depth
30:02You gotta gain trust
30:04Respect, loyalty
30:05All those things
30:06That's
30:07That's called a foundation
30:08Before you can get those things
30:10That's depth
30:13So that's where I'm at
30:14I'm trying to figure that part out
30:16I feel like when I say
30:17I want to
30:18Apply what I've learned here
30:20To every relationship in my life
30:21I'm like
30:22Speaking in terms of
30:23My significant other
30:24Whether it's you
30:25Or whoever I marry one day
30:27Like
30:27I just want to bring
30:28A new level of depth of me
30:30And I think
30:30I was holding myself back
30:32At home
30:33I think I had a wall up
30:35I felt
30:37Too nervous and scared
30:39To be vulnerable with you
30:40Because
30:41I felt like I was going to be judged
30:44And
30:44Being here has like
30:46Shown me that
30:48It's okay to be
30:49Social and outgoing
30:51And
30:51Be connecting with
30:53Like men
30:54And
30:55I just feel like
30:56I was scared back home
30:57Because you don't have trust in me
30:59You feel like I'm not loyal
31:00And it creates this weight on my shoulders
31:03That I'm nervous because of
31:05The way that you'll react
31:06I feel like as you should
31:08Have a weight on your shoulders
31:09I feel like any woman should know
31:10Hey, you know
31:11My guy's in the room
31:11I want respect
31:13Not for my woman to float around a bar
31:15And seem as if she's single
31:17You know, it sounds like
31:19What do you really want?
31:20Do you want to be back out here single?
31:22Or do you want a boyfriend that cares about you?
31:24No, I want to be in a relationship
31:26Where I'm building a deep connection with somebody
31:31If this isn't deep
31:32Then I don't know what to tell you
31:34I don't at all
31:36I left my job
31:39I left my family
31:40Moved with you
31:42For your career
31:43Don't get me wrong
31:45And I didn't want you to not do that
31:49What?
31:49How deep does it?
31:50How deep do you want it?
31:51I don't understand
31:52The loyalty and trust thing has been from the beginning
31:55Exactly
31:55So let's fix that
31:56Let's not
31:58But I feel like I've been having to try to prove myself
32:00For so long
32:01And yes, we've been on this island
32:02And crazy shit has happened
32:03But we've been in a scenario
32:04That would never be real in the real world
32:07Which brings me back to one of the clips
32:09You're bawling your eyes on
32:10And guy's telling you
32:11How long do you have to prove yourself?
32:13And here we are
32:14The next clip I have to see is
32:16You in bed with the same guy
32:19You know that that's the last thing I need to see
32:21For how I already feel
32:25But regardless of what happened
32:27I can still say that I love you
32:29If you don't feel that way
32:30Then go figure that out
32:42Just talk to me
32:46I apologize that I couldn't be straightforward
32:48The first time around
32:49I just feel like I've developed so much strength
32:52Since I've been here
32:53And I've been mentally preparing for time on my own
32:57And I feel like I want to learn and grow and develop in myself
33:01And I know you understand that
33:02And I don't know if I would be able to do it at the same capability
33:05If we were in a relationship
33:09So you've come to the decision that you'd like to leave the island alone?
33:14Yes
33:17Okay, Carl?
33:19Well, I have no choice but to leave the island alone at this point
33:22I understand where you're coming from
33:24It's hurtful, but know that I understand
33:27And we both decided to come here and, you know, gain something from this
33:32And if this is for the better then
33:35I want nothing more for you to explore yourself
33:37And figure out what it is you need to figure out
33:41I hope you get what you mean
33:45Truly
33:46Thank you
33:47Okay, you guys
33:49Nicole
33:51Your journey is over
33:53You can head on off the island
33:59Can I still hug him?
34:00Of course you can
34:02Of course you can
34:05I don't know what we came for
34:10It's okay
34:11I don't know what we found
34:17I don't recognize us
34:23Anything around
34:24I appreciate what you said to her
34:27And I agree with you, it's better now than later
34:31Watching Nicole walk away is painful
34:33Nicole and I constantly talk about growth and building each other up in our relationship
34:38So if this is what she needs to take this time to herself then that's what she should do
34:44Should we move on?
34:49Should we move on?
34:55Okay, let's go
34:56So no regrets?
34:57No regrets
34:59I just walked away from somebody that loves me
35:06A lot of people here have made me realize that I'm a strong woman
35:13And everything's gonna be okay
35:15I just
35:19Didn't think it would be hard
35:23To break someone's heart that said they still love me
35:26Should we move on?
35:32Until it's gone?
35:53I am pretty upset and angry with Katie
35:59I've seen Katie's true colors come out.
36:01I'm ready to confront her and defend myself as a man
36:04and being a good father,
36:06and ask her why she decided to let a man get in her bed.
36:18I'm really nervous to see John.
36:20I just, I love John so much.
36:22I know that I have hurt him throughout this experience,
36:26and just having to face him face-to-face for the first time
36:31is just gonna crush me.
36:42Hi, Katie. Hi.
36:44You ready?
36:46Ready as I'm gonna be.
36:52Welcome to your final bonfire.
36:55How are you feeling right now?
36:56Um, I'm feeling really nervous, um,
36:59and also a little, honestly, like, kind of excited to see him,
37:04let him know kind of where my head's at
37:06and what I've discovered.
37:08Okay. I'm gonna call him in.
37:09You guys will have a chance to speak to one another.
37:12You ready?
37:13Yeah.
37:14Okay. Let's bring John in right now.
37:16Okay.
37:24Hey, John.
37:25Hey, Mark.
37:26How are you, buddy?
37:26Good. How are you doing?
37:27Okay.
37:29Right there.
37:35Hi, Katie.
37:36Hey.
37:37Hi, guys.
37:39Hey.
37:39Hey.
37:40This is your final bonfire.
37:42It's a chance for you to share your experience,
37:45what you've learned about yourself,
37:46what you've learned in general,
37:47and how you're feeling.
37:49Let me be very clear.
37:51Each of you will get a chance to speak
37:52without being interrupted.
37:54The other will listen.
37:55After both of you had a chance to speak,
37:57then I will ask you what you've concluded.
37:59Okay.
37:59Okay.
38:00So now, Katie, I'm gonna let you speak first.
38:03Then it's your chance to share what your experience has been,
38:07what you've learned about yourself,
38:08and how you're feeling now.
38:10You ready?
38:11Yes.
38:11Okay.
38:12Your chance to listen, John.
38:16So, um, first of all, it's really good to see you.
38:20I've missed you a lot.
38:22Um, and, you know, you're my best friend,
38:27and, uh, we came into this really strong.
38:31I have taken this time apart
38:35to really kind of self-reflect and dig deep.
38:39I've just realized that, you know,
38:42like, you're such an amazing man.
38:44I was always trying to change you,
38:45and you're perfect just the way you are.
38:48Obviously, our lives are so, like, intertwined
38:51and intermingled, and I love our life together,
38:53but I think that this experience has been another.
38:57necessary evil, you know?
38:59It's been something that was really good,
39:00and I don't necessarily regret it,
39:02and I think that everything happens for a reason.
39:07Okay.
39:09John, the floor will be yours.
39:14So, um, honestly,
39:16this has been the toughest thing I've ever gone through,
39:19and, um, I felt like we were so close coming into this,
39:24and, um, one of the first bonfire videos I saw
39:29was you questioning about me being a man and a father,
39:32and you've said that to me before,
39:34but that's something that I really thought about.
39:36You know, I know I got issues,
39:37but as far as being a good man,
39:39I've loved, protected, and supported you through a lot.
39:45And, um, as far as being a good father,
39:49you've seen how I interact with my nieces,
39:52and, uh, and how I am around your friends' babies.
40:01And then moving forward,
40:02my mission was to show you that I was a little guy.
40:06And I was up until I saw you get in bed
40:09with, I think his name's Johnny.
40:13And that destroyed me.
40:14It was embarrassing to, to see that.
40:18Then the next day,
40:19I was the only guy that didn't get a video message.
40:22And that just destroyed me even more.
40:24And, um, I didn't know what to do.
40:29And I was in a tough spot.
40:31I told myself I can either just have this aching heart,
40:35or I could open up and get a connection with Catherine.
40:39You know, Catherine was after me from day one,
40:42and it took me a while,
40:44and, and then finally when all that happened,
40:46I just opened up,
40:47and I had a physical and emotional connection with her.
40:53You know, we, we looked at wedding rings,
40:56and we talked about marriage,
40:59and taking a huge step back, obviously.
41:02And I do love you,
41:04but I want a woman that's gonna build me up,
41:07not tear me down.
41:08Um, and that's kinda what I've been taken from you
41:10since we first started dating.
41:11And, uh, that's basically all I have to say.
41:17All right, John, thank you.
41:21Um, I think that you're an amazing, amazing man.
41:25Um, you, you're so sweet, and you're so kind,
41:28and you're so funny.
41:29But for me, I just can't see myself, you know,
41:38um, having children with you,
41:40and it's not that you're not great with children.
41:42It's just the type of man that I want from my household,
41:45and the kind of type of man that I want to,
41:47to lead my children.
41:52I don't feel like, um, like, uh, um...
42:00You know, sometimes I, I feel like I have to, like,
42:02kind of baby you a little.
42:03I kind of have to mother you a little,
42:04and I feel like I have to kind of maybe
42:06pull ambition out of you a little.
42:08Um, you make me not want to have kids.
42:11I can't.
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