00:00I don't own any stocks. I'm not an investor, but I can tell you a stock. I hope you sold
00:04it before the weekend.
00:06And that's a stock that's under the ticker of ENHA, which is short for the Enhanced Group Incorporated.
00:14You may have known that they are having an enhanced games, kind of like on Olympics for dudes maxed out
00:20on steroids.
00:22To try to prove to everyone that with medical science, the average athlete is going to outperform the clean athlete.
00:30So the steroid athlete is stronger, faster, et cetera, than the athlete that doesn't use any of the stuff, right?
00:37Major, major failure this weekend. They had their first ever enhanced games.
00:41They aired on YouTube, by the way.
00:43And of all the different events from like bench pressing and squatting and swimming and Olympic style events.
00:50How many records do you think the enhanced athletes set against the regular non-steroid using athletes?
00:58Well, I know they were talking big. They were talking about 10, 11 of them.
01:03I'll go, let's say, a quarter of that because you brought it up. So let me say three.
01:06Three or four?
01:07Yeah.
01:07By the way, I probably would have guessed the same. Maybe half even I would have been, right?
01:11How about zero?
01:12Yeah.
01:13How about the fact that they had the enhanced games and the only record a steroid using athlete broke and
01:21broke it by seven tenths of a second was a swimming record.
01:26And the organizers of the event, the experts in swimming, we'll show you the video here, claim that the swimmer
01:32did not win because he was steroid enhanced.
01:36Yeah, he wasn't on steroids. No, he wasn't.
01:37It's because he had a special suit on.
01:39Right.
01:40That, I guess, cuts down the friction in the water.
01:42Yeah.
01:42And that suit was outlawed 17 years ago by the Olympic body.
01:46Right?
01:47Yes.
01:47So the steroid people did not beat the non-steroid people in a single event.
01:54Yeah.
01:54They went over.
01:55Yeah.
01:56Like, in that particular race, the guy who came in last was on the steroids and wore the suit.
02:01That was the Jack guy, right?
02:02Yeah, the Jack dude came in last.
02:03He was on steroids and had the special suit on.
02:05And still came in last.
02:07Yeah.
02:08Like, so their stock is at $2 right now.
02:10Cratered.
02:11Lost 50%.
02:13But it's actually, I don't know, I guess it's kind of disappointing to me.
02:17I mean, I thought steroids would help you, certainly with strength.
02:20And I know they were doing the bench press.
02:24And, like, the biggest steroid user, the bench press, was still, like, 75 pounds away
02:31from the record set by a guy that was not on steroids.
02:35Yeah.
02:35So I think we all learned a valuable lesson here.
02:37You don't need steroids to be a top-level athlete.
02:41That's one of the lessons.
02:42Someone should tell some baseball players that.
02:44The other one is, the other one that we learned is that a lot of top athletes don't want to
02:50risk putting some of those things in their bodies.
02:52Okay.
02:54Because you have to do it under a doctor's care, the ones that do it well.
02:57Theoretically, right.
02:58And you're supposed to.
02:59And what we notice is there's some fringe guys that they thought, like, Curly that won
03:02the 100 meters.
03:03By the way, his time that won that wouldn't qualify him for the Olympics.
03:06The World Championships, they've come out with the qualifying time.
03:09He wouldn't have qualified.
03:10He won it clean.
03:11The steroid guys all lost to him in track two.
03:14Yeah.
03:15Like, it's all over the place.
03:16Maybe baseball is the only sport where steroids actually helps you.
03:20Because I watched a little bit of it.
03:21I did not watch all of it.
03:22It was kind of boring to me.
03:24Like, I'm watching events I don't care about unless it's the Olympics.
03:27And I want to see these steroid freaks dominate.
03:30And they embarrass themselves.
03:31So either we got to find bigger steroid freaks, right?
03:34Yeah.
03:35Or we have to come to the realization that just putting a needle in your ass does not
03:40make you a better athlete than a guy that does it naturally.
03:44Right?
03:45Yeah.
03:45Yeah.
03:46And clearly there's some diminishing returns.
03:48Now, apparently.
03:48I was disappointed.
03:49I really was.
03:50I always say, when it comes to pro sports, I think steroids takes years off your life.
03:56I'm not sure if I can prove that or not.
03:58But it seems like if you abuse steroids, you're probably going to kill yourself.
04:01Experts say that.
04:02Yeah.
04:02And I applaud athletes for shortening their lives for my enjoyment.
04:07I think it's great.
04:09Like, if you're willing to live five years less to try to bring me a championship, I'll
04:14give you the needle.
04:15Like, more power to you.
04:17I'm uncomfortable.
04:18I'm fully supportive of baseball players doing steroids, football players doing steroids,
04:23NBA, whatever it is, right?
04:25Yeah.
04:25Because you guys are just entertainers to me.
04:28I get more joy out of my team winning than my team losing.
04:32So, like, when A-Rod was doing steroids, and I was a fake Yankee fan, do more steroids.
04:38Matter of fact, in the 2000 World Series, when the Mets lost to the Yankees back then,
04:42I was a real Mets fan.
04:44Yeah.
04:44Mike Piazza got up against Mariano Rivera.
04:47Yeah.
04:47I forget which game it was.
04:49Hit a ball in a deep center field.
04:51Ball died on the warning track.
04:53Because he didn't do steroids that day.
04:56So, to me...
04:57He did.
04:58He did.
04:58I wish Mike...
04:59I wish he did do steroids that day.
05:01He did.
05:01Not that day.
05:02That thing doesn't get out the infield without the steroids.
05:04That bull died because he did not juice that day.
05:07No, he juiced.
05:07So, to me, again, I'm pro-steroids when it comes to the people that entertain me.
05:12I am not.
05:13Because it gives me a chance to win a championship.
05:15I am not.
05:15No one looks back and goes, oh, yeah, you had a parade, but you left tacklers on steroids.
05:21Oh, no one cares.
05:22We celebrate the championship.
05:23Of course.
05:24So, a memo out there to all professional athletes on behalf of Tyrone Johnson.
05:29No.
05:29And the Carton Show.
05:30Do more steroids.
05:32No.
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