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00:02Richard, Cliff. Cliff, Richard.
00:43Hey, friends, thank you for tuning in. Happy Friday.
00:46And boy, do we have a show for you today.
00:49Coming up, some top-class TFI gold from the Queen of Country,
00:51Donnie Parton's going to be here.
00:54And in just five minutes from now,
00:56the Queen of Pop, Kylie Minogue's going to be here.
00:59She's going to be singing and chatting,
01:02plus Tom Fletcher talks and sings Paddington.
01:05The amazing Uncle Pappy Pops by.
01:09Plus a sneaky take-that-treat.
01:13But here's the thing. All right.
01:15Last week, our Pammy versus Courtney,
01:17our Anderson versus Cox Part 4 went so well,
01:20we've decided to stage another Part 4 extravaganza.
01:24So, in Part 4 this week,
01:27who would you like to see at the end of the show,
01:29an interview with Noel Gallagher
01:32or an interview with Damon Albarn?
01:36Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
01:41Hang on in a little something we've called
01:46Gallagher versus Albarn.
01:50Would you like to see more of this?
01:53How's Liam?
01:54Big-headed.
01:57Or more of this.
01:58I checked with Alex earlier on
02:00and he says he doesn't know where they are.
02:01Well, he wouldn't, would he?
02:04The competition's already heating up.
02:05Stay tuned to find out which interview wins
02:07all the way to Part 4 today.
02:08And now it's time for this.
02:27I have a letter right here, just as it happens.
02:30Right, this is from Phil in real.
02:33Married to Jill.
02:35Have a son called Kevin.
02:38Chris, love wig, not wig last week.
02:40How about a bit of vintage
02:42Baby Left, Baby Right?
02:44OK.
02:45All right, for this we need a celebrity contestant.
02:48How about Big Tom David?
02:58I'm Kate Williams, straight in with this.
03:01All right, so you're going to play Baby Left?
03:02I'd love to, yeah.
03:02You've got three rounds of Baby Left, Baby Right.
03:04You're playing for Cosmic Prizes.
03:06Yeah, OK.
03:07Prizes in the future.
03:08OK, so round one.
03:09It's for your new film, Ladies First,
03:11to go to number one on Netflix worldwide,
03:13beating even the brand new Kylie documentary.
03:16All right?
03:16Wow, that is, that's big.
03:18I know, for that,
03:19our first round of Baby Left or Baby Right.
03:22What do you think?
03:25This is big, this is a massive.
03:27But I used to play this with my own baby.
03:28What do you think, Ang?
03:29Baby Left!
03:30Baby Right!
03:30Do you know what?
03:31I'm going to...
03:32No, no, no, no, Baby Right.
03:34Big Tom is saying Baby Right.
03:36Let's have a look.
03:40It's right!
03:43OK, so Ladies First is going to number one.
03:46Yes.
03:46Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're playing Cosmically,
03:48this is going to happen, right?
03:49Yeah, right.
03:50It is for your incredible film career
03:52to continue to flourish,
03:53making you way more successful
03:54than even Ramesh Ranganathan.
03:56Oh, that's going some.
03:58Yeah, we're up in this thing.
03:59Yeah, that is, wow.
04:00Well, that one, Baby Left or Baby Right?
04:03What do you think?
04:04Right, right, right!
04:06I'm going to go, like, I'm taking penalties.
04:08You never go the same way twice.
04:09I'm going to go Baby Left.
04:10You're going to go Left, what do you think, Ang?
04:11Oh, my, yeah, right!
04:12Big Tom says Little Baby Left.
04:17Oh, it's right!
04:20You're so good at this.
04:21I know, I know, it is, yeah.
04:22I'm so glad we're not paying for hard cash.
04:25We'd blow our budget.
04:26Oh, we don't.
04:26I never play for cash, I just play for Cosmically.
04:28Oh, we don't have a budget, so don't worry about it.
04:29Can't you sell?
04:32OK, round three, this is the biggie one.
04:34OK, this is, yeah.
04:35The biggie one, that is good.
04:36Oh, well, I'm sorry, so you sweat a little bit.
04:37OK, round three is the biggie.
04:39So for West Ham to win on Sunday,
04:41and for Spurs to lose...
04:42This is bigger than the other two.
04:43Of course it is.
04:44This is massive.
04:45This is the anxiety that is...
04:47I've got two shows on a run-up to this.
04:50Yeah?
04:50I'm so...
04:51This is all I can think of.
04:52OK.
04:52I've never known nerves like it.
04:54OK, so for West Ham to guarantee to stay in the Premier League,
04:57therefore Spurs going...
04:58I know, and this is all on you.
05:00Yeah, I know, it's everything, yeah.
05:01Football fans are like,
05:02it's cos Tom lost, cos Tom lost on Friday.
05:04No pressure.
05:05I won't be able to, yeah, yeah.
05:07OK, baby left or baby right?
05:08Ooh!
05:10What do you think?
05:10Yes!
05:12I'm going to go left, I'm going to go left.
05:14I'm going to drill it left.
05:15You're going to go...
05:16That sounds weird.
05:17No, no, no.
05:18I'm going to go left, baby left.
05:19For West Ham to stay up and Spurs to go down,
05:22Big Tommy's saying baby left,
05:23and it is...
05:24Ooh!
05:27Baby up!
05:30The Bouncebox.
05:31That's not a Cosmo thing.
05:32West Ham's saying, yeah, yeah.
05:35Oh, so you're in another movie.
05:37Yes, yeah.
05:37Congratulations.
05:38I can't believe this film hasn't been made already.
05:41It's a great premise, isn't it?
05:42Yeah, it is.
05:42Well, it was a French film originally.
05:44It's a sort of remake, and...
05:46Was that a very kind way of saying it has been made already?
05:48Yeah, yeah, I do.
05:50I don't want you to sack a researcher, Chris.
05:52I know how these things go.
05:54Sack myself.
05:55How nice a bloke is Tom Davis?
05:57Yeah, I know, yeah.
05:58I do want to...
05:58Yeah, yeah.
05:59Sorry, Tom.
05:59So, yeah, from the minute of reading the script,
06:01and then watch the original...
06:02In French?
06:03In French.
06:04Someone said, did you watch your subtitles?
06:05I was like, no, I went away and learnt French.
06:07I was like, it was that immersed in it.
06:10And, no, it's brilliant.
06:12The concept is a clever one.
06:13I think it weirdly actually sort of feels quite of now.
06:17Yeah, no, very now, very now.
06:18Yeah, the sort of flip of these two worlds.
06:21So he's a rotter, isn't he?
06:22Do you just frame it for people?
06:23So he's a sort of toxic, masculine guy
06:25who bangs his head and wakes up in a world
06:28where the sort of matriarchy has become the...
06:32The patriarchy has become the matriarchy.
06:33The worlds are flipped,
06:34and it's sort of like Burger Queen and the Queen's Cross.
06:38Harriet Potter.
06:38Yeah, Harriet Potter, and it's a great...
06:41And that stuff throughout the film is hilarious.
06:44Right, so not only does work flip for the Sacha Baron Cohen character,
06:49but, of course, you're his brother-in-law.
06:51Yeah.
06:51You flip as well, don't you?
06:52Yes, yeah, yeah.
06:53So tell us about Brother-in-law version one
06:55and Brother-in-law version two.
06:57Well, Brother-in-law, number one, was quite a stretch as an actor.
06:59I was a sort of cat-potato slob.
07:02Really had to push myself and, yeah, get into that.
07:05I thought it was a reality show.
07:08Really had to Tom Hardy, that one, really.
07:10I'm like, how does this work?
07:12Weirdly, that is sort of probably, in a sense, all jokes.
07:15So there's an element of me in that.
07:17I knew you were going to say that.
07:18Just with my daughter and I've just had a long weekend
07:21when my wife's been in Ibiza celebrating her 40th
07:24and I was doing...
07:25She left me home to do the hair for the school photo.
07:28The pressure...
07:29Oh, that was actually...
07:29The pressure of that, she went,
07:31oh, by the way, it's Grace's school photo on Friday.
07:34And I was like, and Grace is like, I want a plant.
07:35No matter what the message in this film is, that is...
07:37Yeah, she was like, I want a plant, I want this.
07:39I was like, look, you're getting a ponytail at best.
07:42That's up for a ponytail.
07:44And then your brother-in-law comes in,
07:45and then Sacha Baron Cohen comes in.
07:46Yeah, me and Sacha became a very...
07:48Like, improv for both of us, I guess, is both our backgrounds.
07:51He loves all that, doesn't he?
07:52Yes, yeah, it was literally like two boxers.
07:54How's Spudgun going?
07:55Great.
07:56OK, so Spudgun is your tour, you're in the middle of it.
07:58Did I hear mentions of High Wycombe earlier on?
08:00Do you know what it is, Chris?
08:02I want to be honest with you.
08:03Last time round, I had a bit of a dodgy Chinese...
08:07Rogue move, Chinese, before the show,
08:08and about ten minutes into the show,
08:11I was like, oof.
08:13Sorry, he's not right here.
08:15Did you hear the go-go?
08:16Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:18And had to take a sort of unscheduled break
08:21to go and do my business.
08:24And then came out, and it was a little bit all over the gaff.
08:26So I don't know if High Wycombe think...
08:28Well, maybe, yeah.
08:29I didn't mention the Chinese, I don't think, on stage.
08:31Oh, you should have done.
08:32I should have come off.
08:33So every...
08:34I was like, that sucks.
08:35I was like, to scratch my tour manager.
08:37I was like, come on, mate, like, yeah.
08:38What's going down, Wycombe?
08:39What's the issue?
08:40Slide into mine or Chris's DM.
08:41We're here to talk.
08:42We're willing to talk about it.
08:43We'll meet you wherever you want.
08:45We can preferably, Sunday night.
08:47And I'll be celebrating, hopefully.
08:49Well, I will be celebrating,
08:50because we've done the cosmic thing.
08:51Yeah, we've done the cosmic thing.
08:53It's going to be fine.
08:54Tom Davis has been here.
08:56Ladies first, Netflix today.
09:07It's time to step back in time.
09:10That's the song title, by the way.
09:12With some TFI gold that is especially for you.
09:17Yeah, you should be so lucky.
09:20What's the other one one of us ate now?
09:22The smiley.
09:23It's the smiley.
09:24Kylie Minogue.
09:42Hey, Kylie.
09:56I'm fine thank you good I actually um can I just take a moment I need to say
10:04hello to my spiritual guru ganunga gachunga Wow I've got a spiritual joke
10:13for you oh god yeah okay what do you say to a zen master hot dog vendor
10:21anyone what make me one with everything
10:30ganunga gachunga we like him don't we ganunga gachunga everybody
10:38so Kylie do you think you're taller or smaller than Jerry Halliwell I'm smaller you think you're
10:45smaller okay well we asked the people on the street and this is what they said who do you
10:49think's tallest Kylie Minogue or Jerry Halliwell Jerry Halliwell who do you think's tallest
10:55I don't know Jerry Halliwell Jerry Halliwell Jerry Halliwell Kylie Minogue Jerry I'm sorry I'm
11:03a come from Norway I'm not because I'm so small I'd rather be you know at the very end of
11:10the scale
11:11scale yeah okay well you may not I don't want to be in the middle it may not be the
11:14case the middle is
11:15mediocrity and mediocrity is great and we don't go great so go small especially me and you want to
11:20make an apology as well oh thank you pleasure so I had this party last night right and everyone gets
11:26nervous when you have a party that's for this book so invited lots of friends and all the people who
11:30worked on it and dadada and I apologize to all of you who couldn't get in it was an absolute
11:36one
11:37fight at the door so I'm sorry forgive me you actually invited people and they couldn't get in
11:43you well these are friends of yours yeah there was too many people okay did I invite you no
11:56but I wouldn't be able to get in anyway so precisely okay this is your book why did you do
11:59this book
12:00because this is your new book why did you do it um because I hadn't done one but oh god
12:05he's
12:05marked pages because um I hadn't done one before I've researched this book heavily it's been about
12:1312 years since I started and I just thought it would be okay good time to do it do you
12:17want to
12:17see some of these photographs what's that all about it's my ear no I know what they are but what
12:25is
12:25a butterfly pardon this was a contribution by a musician called Russell Haswell yeah um if I I don't I've
12:33got a cold right that's why I don't sound very good oh that's all right you sound fine to me
12:37but I keep I'm just going for extra so that we have it here we have here an ear butterfly
12:43he was
12:44interested in the way I hear things and also I've got the tiniest ears yeah I've got very little ears
12:49but not here you're sort of made up for it where's your head I danced with you at that party
12:54you did
12:55not I did too don't you remember no I had a little white mini dress on because I don't usually
12:59get
13:00invited to the parties that you have no this was this is a while ago okay you were fresh and
13:04you
13:05know I'm gutted now I'm gutted now this this is was put together with your friend William Baker yes
13:23who is everything to you he's my favorite handbag yeah what does that mean I mean we're like partners
13:32in crime yes he's worked with me as a stylist for about six years yeah and he's a best friend
13:38and you
13:38know what he's doing today go on he's styling Jerry Harry well Halliwell isn't he oh no as well as
13:45you
13:47let's see who his favorite but I have I have seen Jerry in the dressing room yeah and and I
13:51um I said
13:53you may have them but they better come back in a while what have what oh them there's another one
13:59oh my god what I'm makeup artist as well oh she's still in your makeup artist I'm your stylist go
14:06what a
14:07shocker and just very quickly Robbie Williams has been in the paper this week he said he's not had
14:11sex for three months do you believe him yeah okay and we'll leave it there thank you very much
14:18as always Kylie who doesn't love Kylie Kylie we love you all right from the queen of pop to the
14:30king
14:30of pop tricks it's will pop genius hey will let's go for a pop trick straight off the bat got
14:44it okay
14:47Christopher did that come as a surprise to you yes I don't know who I am or where I am
14:51okay I've got a
14:55idea what's about to happen okay okay uh-huh okay right this is just the prep I'll do yeah that's
15:07prep
15:07yeah okay so what what what might be happening next Chris uh-huh I am now going to balance these
15:14six
15:15snails on top of that can be done we get these people from can be done yes drum roll please
15:57all right
16:07golly part is going to be here take that are going to be here and the battle of brit pop
16:12no versus
16:13David continues for now some more if I go for more Kylie Minogue
16:17this is
16:32this is
16:34yeah
16:35oh
16:35yeah
16:36yeah
16:37Just forget you stay scared
16:40My name again
16:42Who knows when we'll dance again
16:45I don't want to say goodbye
16:49Who knows where we'll be after tonight
16:58Can't get enough Kylie this week.
17:00That is Kylie Minogue with some vintage TFI girl.
17:02Wasn't it great? That was Please Stay.
17:04Right, coming up, do not miss in part four of tonight's show
17:07The Battle of the Big Guns, the big Britpop guns
17:10It's Gallagher vs. Albarn
17:13Do you want to see more of Noel?
17:15Is that what's Ed?
17:17It's Ed, it's Ed!
17:20Or more of Damon?
17:21Yeah, well last year, every time I saw you, you were winking at me
17:24You were doing that.
17:27The winnings for you coming up in part four tonight
17:29Yeah!
17:31Oh, what's next?
17:36Alright, our next guest is the multi-talented McFly music maestro
17:40Who's turned the nation's favourite books and films
17:42Into the nation's favourite musical
17:44Paddington the Musical continues at the Savoy Theatre
17:48Until at least 2028
17:51You betcha, it's Tom Fletcher!
17:58Thank you very much
18:01Thank you
18:02Thank you
18:04Right in the tide so high
18:05Well done my friend, congratulations
18:07Thank you
18:07So you have written all the lyrics, all the music to Paddington
18:11Yes
18:11A round of applause
18:12Come on
18:12Thank you
18:13So now the show's been extended to at least 2028
18:16How come we still can't get tickets?
18:19I can't get tickets
18:20I haven't sat in the theatre and watched it since before Christmas I think
18:25I stand at the back
18:26Which is amazing though, I wouldn't have it any other way
18:27Have you ever been asked for more tickets in your life for anything?
18:30No, this is the one, like as soon as it was announced, my phone did not stop
18:34And even more so since
18:35Actually even yesterday, Danny from McFly, he was asking me for tickets
18:38Oh I know him, yeah, you know Danny from McFly, don't you?
18:41It doesn't work like that with musicals at all
18:43Like, and especially when, you know, when, yeah, when it's this sold out
18:47But it's amazing, what an amazing position to be in
18:49When it's this sold out
18:51And there are other flavours of sold out
18:55There's sold out and then there's Paddington's sold out
18:57I mean, it's incredible, isn't it?
19:00Oh, yeah, it's amazing
19:00Alright, so it all started around Covid
19:02Yes
19:03Okay, and you were asked to be, would you consider, you know, almost auditioning to write for this?
19:09Yeah, well I got a very kind of secretive email to see if I would have a phone call about
19:14a project
19:14Right
19:15We're working on Paddington the musical
19:17And would I be interested in being considered to write the songs?
19:21Yeah
19:21And then that night I wrote Marmalade, which is the
19:24No way!
19:25Where did it come from, Marmalade?
19:27Honestly, this is the, sometimes, like sometimes you work really hard on songs
19:30And it can take you a couple of weeks to write something
19:33Every now and then
19:34It's maybe only happened once before this
19:37It's literally like it comes from somewhere else
19:39You're just like the vessel for a song
19:41And it just happened really easily
19:43So where were you in the house when it came to you?
19:45I was just in my, I was, honestly, I was still on the phone to Eliza
19:48Thinking, mama, mama, mama, mama, Marmalade
19:51And I was desperately trying to not seem rude
19:53But I was like, I need to get off the phone so I can write this song
19:56I've got the Marmalade song
19:57I've got one song
19:58So how many songs were you in before you knew you had the gig?
20:01I think I'd written maybe four or five.
20:04Right.
20:05And all of them are in the show still.
20:07OK.
20:07And do you think other people were writing four and five at the time?
20:10Yeah, I mean, they were definitely considering...
20:13Do you know who they were?
20:14Do you know who you were up against?
20:14By the way, you don't have to say their names.
20:16I'm just asking you, do you know?
20:17I only know one.
20:18I can't say, but I only...
20:19One is enough.
20:20Yeah.
20:21This one is definitely enough.
20:23Yeah, I mean...
20:23Whoa!
20:25This one.
20:26It's the word this for you, isn't it?
20:28Yeah, Paddington is this sold out.
20:30Well, this one is definitely enough.
20:32You should write this the musical.
20:34Talk about the first time that you met Paddington.
20:36We were in, like, a rehearsal, like a dance rehearsal type space.
20:40Paddington's on the way.
20:41And Paddington is on the way, yeah.
20:42And then we were told, you know, when Paddington comes out,
20:46you speak to Paddington.
20:47He is Paddington.
20:48You speak to him like Paddington.
20:50And it was just the most overwhelming moment
20:52where you just...
20:53You become like a child again.
20:56How did it compare with the birth of your children?
20:59No comment.
21:00I know.
21:01Well, it sounds like a yes to me.
21:05No would have been a better answer.
21:08And has it travelled anywhere else yet?
21:10Has it been put...
21:11No, not yet.
21:11That's got to happen, hasn't it?
21:12I mean, I hope so.
21:13It would be amazing.
21:14Are there any plans?
21:16Who knows?
21:16Oh, yeah!
21:18I...
21:18I...
21:19Don't, don't trick me on this part.
21:21No, it would be amazing.
21:22You're still there again.
21:24Don't play...
21:25Look, if you haven't started playing poker yet, don't.
21:28No, I would be terrible.
21:29No, obviously...
21:30So when is it opening in New York, then?
21:31I'm not answering any of these questions.
21:35Tokyo, Tokyo, New York, Paris has got to happen.
21:38I'm not answering any.
21:39Yes, sir!
21:40I haven't said any of that.
21:41As if it couldn't get any better, and then you go and do the live cast recording at Abbey.
21:44That's what I mean.
21:44It literally just gets better.
21:46Being involved in this show gets better and better.
21:49New York, Tokyo is going to be amazing.
21:50Stop it.
21:52Naughty.
21:53Anything else you can't tell us?
21:58No wonder you're busy casting all those Americans.
22:05Tom, is there anything else you want to say to people while they're watching and listening?
22:10When I was...
22:11I think I must have been about eight or nine, maybe.
22:13I was a choir boy on TFI Friday.
22:16No way!
22:18You've been on this show before?
22:19I've been on this show before.
22:20In my memory, I think you covered the whole street outside the studio in snow.
22:24That'd be about right.
22:25And I think you were in the pub.
22:27It was all decorated like Christmas.
22:28It was a Christmas episode.
22:28It was a Christmas special.
22:29Yeah, and we sang something.
22:31So we've got a Christmas song in the street for you.
22:33Wow!
22:33So you've been on TFI?
22:35I have.
22:35And my sister has as well.
22:36Hang on a minute!
22:38What did your sister do?
22:39I think she was a young Melinda Messenger on the show.
22:44That sounds about right, doesn't it?
22:45That sounds about right.
22:46All right, let's hear it for Tom Fletcher!
22:48Thank you very much.
22:49Good as you get.
22:50So Tom Fletcher, for Paddington, is going to make...
22:53So it's a £250 ticket.
22:56£1,200, right, 2028.
23:00Holy s***!
23:02He'll be playing Marmalade from Paddington live on this show.
23:07But now some more TFI gold from the Queen of Country.
23:10She's working 9 out of 5.
23:12And that's why we'll always love her, it's the ever-infinite, always-so-jolly Dolly Parton.
23:37But now some more TFI, for the whole delirious, it is going to be on the show.
23:41OK.
23:41Let's get it.
23:41Woo-hoo!
23:45Thank you!
23:46I'm the hero.
23:47Thank you!
23:47Thank you!
23:55Come on! Come on!
24:03Oh, wow! Oh, Dolly, Dolly, Dolly!
24:09Well, Chris, this looks like the most fun place in the world!
24:12I've delivered this show!
24:14Well, it just may be, but just don't hang around, because after the show, the audience get really ugly.
24:18Oh, do they? Well, they usually do in bars.
24:22They do in bars. Well, this is a bar, of course.
24:23So, let me get this right. So, you tumbled out of bed, and you stumbled to the kitchen, and you
24:27poured yourself a cup of ambition.
24:29When was that?
24:30Well, that was about 1980 when I wrote that, and when that came out as my first movie, 9 to
24:365, and that was the theme song from it.
24:38So, was it literally about your eagerness to get on and, you know, that pouring of the cup of ambition?
24:44When did that happen for you, for Little Dolly Parton? I mean, I know you're still a little.
24:46Oh, when I poured my first cup of real ambition in my real life?
24:50Well, I actually started singing long before I remember making up songs, and I started singing on radio and television
24:56when I was 10 years old.
24:58Back in East Tennessee, where I was born and raised, there were some local shows, and then I moved to
25:03Nashville in 1964.
25:04And I've been hot and heavy at it ever since then.
25:07She's been hot and heavy at it.
25:10And so, I mean, how fast was it?
25:13You know, were you an immediate success, or did you play some horrible bars with horrible people that threw things
25:19at you?
25:19Well, you always do when you're trying to start out in the business, especially being a girl back then, my
25:24age, and singing in these bars and honky-tonks.
25:27And I had a lot of stuff to put up with.
25:29Did you get the old rednecks coming on to you?
25:31Oh, major. Big time.
25:33What did you say to the old guys?
25:34Oh, I said different things. It just depended.
25:36But lucky for me, though, I'm from a family of 12 kids, so I have six brothers, and I'm real
25:41close to my dad.
25:42I had all these uncles and cousins, so I knew how to whip a boy's ass if it got bad.
25:51Now, you know, would I be right in thinking that you love being a girl?
25:55Yeah.
25:55You love it, don't you?
25:56I love being a girl. I've always said if I hadn't been a girl, I most definitely would have been
26:00a drag queen.
26:01I think it came from a very serious place when I was a child, when I had nothing, and I
26:05used to always want to look like all the pretty women in our town that they call trash.
26:10You know, they did, and I always, Mama used to say, don't look at them, that's just trash.
26:15And I thought, when I grow up, that's what I'm going to be. And so I did. I did.
26:23Which is your favorite part of being a girl? What's the best thing about being a girl?
26:27Well, I've just enjoyed everything about it. I do love the primp, and I love, you know, being able to
26:32put the paint and the powder and all that on.
26:34But I enjoy every part of being a girl. I can't imagine, you know, that I wouldn't have been a
26:38girl.
26:39What do you think of men?
26:40Oh, I love men. That's the best part of being a girl, the fact that I do like the men.
26:45And they've always responded to me pretty well. A certain kind of man.
26:49Yeah. So what kind of men do you go for?
26:52Bill Clinton.
26:56Have you met him?
26:58No, actually, I haven't. I've never met him. And like I said, it's probably just as well for both of
27:05us.
27:05But he's from down south. He's from Arkansas. And that's not too far from where I was born and raised.
27:11But he's been a good president. And I hope all that passes pretty fast and we get on with other
27:16things. But he certainly is horny.
27:18Do you really fancy him?
27:20Oh, I think, yeah, I think he's a good guy.
27:22Tell me why you fancy him. What do you like about him? I mean, he's the president, that's his friend.
27:25Well, he's very likeable. I think he's very likeable. And he has a wonderful personality. He's a lot like a
27:31lot of the people I grew up with. A lot like my brothers, my dad and my uncles and every
27:35redneck man that, you know.
27:37He has got a very red neck. Yeah, he does. And he's got a red face now. Yeah, more than
27:42that.
27:43So listen, you've caused a real stir since you've been here. Did you get here on Monday or Tuesday?
27:46I got here on Monday. I started to work on Tuesday.
27:48I know the airport came to a standstill when you floated through it.
27:52Well, it was fun. We got here actually pretty early in the morning. It could have been worse. But the
27:56folks were real nice. I hadn't been in London in almost ten years, I think.
28:00Have you got any idea or did you have any idea how popular you still were?
28:03No. And that made me feel very good. I've had the best time on all these shows. I remember years
28:08ago, I did a show on an HBO special from London here at the old Dominican Theatre.
28:15And it was one of the biggest shows that I've ever had. It had one of the highest ratings in
28:19the United States. We had all these great people.
28:21And so I've always wanted to come back and possibly do another show from here and do some concerts because
28:26the crowds are great.
28:27Can you do your speed it up Jolene thing for me?
28:30Well, everybody keeps telling me that.
28:32This is great. Because your song is Jolene. Jolene is her song obviously. One of the 3,000 plus you've
28:36written.
28:36Well, Jolene, yeah. I was just singing around my friends over here as drag queen, drag queen, drag queen. But
28:40anyway, when I do my...
28:43Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. I'm begging of you, please don't take my man. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. Please don't take
28:49him just because you can.
28:51Whatever that means. I don't know where that came from.
28:56So listen, you've written, is it over 3,000 songs or 5,000 songs?
29:01Well, I have written thousands and thousands of songs. I have copyrights and registered 3,000 songs.
29:07But I've been doing that since I was a child.
29:08Can they all be good, 3,000?
29:09No, they're terrible.
29:11But I have a few good ones.
29:13You know, I never said they were all good, but they're kind of like your children.
29:16You know, you never know which ones are the ugly ones or the pretty ones.
29:19But my songs are like my children and I expect them to support me when I'm old.
29:23And out of all the standards, they will, they need to anyway.
29:26But out of all the standards, all the big classics, which is your favourite?
29:29Because we've all got our favourites. Which is yours?
29:31That I've written?
29:32Yeah.
29:32I think I will always love you because I've had such good luck with that.
29:36I've had a hit record with it three times myself. Once in 1973 when I wrote it.
29:42And again in 1982 when I did the best little whorehouse in Texas movie with Burt Reynolds.
29:48And then I did a duet with Vince Gill. And then, of course, Whitney Houston who did the world's greatest
29:53version ever.
29:54And so I bought a lot of cheap wigs and high heels and makeup.
29:59Thanks to Whitney.
30:00As I always say though, I need that money because it costs a lot to make a person look this
30:04cheap.
30:06It's not true, by the way.
30:08And it is not true.
30:08You look at a million dollars.
30:12How great is Dolly Parton.
30:14Right, still to come, Tom Fletcher performs live.
30:16Uncle Pappy's going to be here.
30:19A special bonus treat from Take That.
30:23And the battle of Britpop continues.
30:25Noel versus Damon.
30:27Who do you want to see in part four?
30:28And now more from the Queen of Pop.
30:30Yes, it's Kylie Minogue again with Some Kind of Bliss.
30:32Yes.
30:33Woooo..
30:33I've got my eyes.
30:39The warn theids of the Harry and then
30:44for me to do Pub.
30:47Where do we live?
30:49Please !
30:51It's every day,
30:53It's all it ends in, I'm some kind of you.
31:00It's every day, it's all it ends in, I'm some kind of you.
31:14We love her! We love her.
31:17That was Kylie again with some kind of bliss.
31:20All right, still to come, take that are going to be here.
31:25And the battle of Britpop continues. Will it be Noel, will it be Damon?
31:28The interview in part four, what do you want to watch?
31:30What do you want to see? Do you want to see more of this?
31:33You look like Graeme now. You do look like Graeme, actually.
31:36You do look like Graeme.
31:37Why do you want to see more of this?
31:38Do you think the Brits are a sham?
31:40I think every time you've presented it, it's been terrible.
31:47Right, now it's time for some more TFI Gold.
31:48I'll never forget...
31:51..when they rule the world!
31:55And no, they're not back for good, but they're back for now.
31:57Here's a take there.
31:59Well done, you were very good.
32:01Oh, thank you.
32:01I think you should keep it up.
32:02Seriously, you carry right on, crack on through.
32:06However, we're missing one, that's Howard,
32:08because Howard wants to go and will slip and slide.
32:09Howard!
32:10Where is he?
32:15Howard, you have 3.61 seconds to beat.
32:18Are you ready?
32:19Yes.
32:20Are you ready?
32:20Yeah.
32:21OK, five...
32:22Four, three, two, one!
32:34All right, come here.
32:36Come here.
32:36Come here.
32:37Well done, Howard.
32:38Look at that genuine.
32:40Can you see that?
32:403.175.
32:42We have a new table.
32:46Come and join your pals over here.
32:49Come over here.
32:50Congratulations on touring.
32:51You're back from Europe.
32:53Are you now done with Europe?
32:54Is that over?
32:55We're done.
32:56Yeah, we've just finished on Wednesday, I think, in Milan.
32:58OK.
32:59Just a couple of gigs left before the end of the year,
33:01but it's been a great live year for us.
33:03Well, you know you came to see us.
33:04I know, we came twice.
33:06And you played Carfest.
33:07Thank you for playing Carfest.
33:08Oh, we loved Carfest.
33:09Brilliant.
33:09OK, so, as a three-piece, first tour, yeah?
33:12Yeah.
33:12Pros and cons, go.
33:14Oh, pros, erm, just unity.
33:17Yeah.
33:17It was great.
33:18OK.
33:18Absolutely amazing.
33:20I've got a quote.
33:21We had a dressing room each.
33:22Dressing room each is good.
33:23Bit more space in the dressing room.
33:25Symmetry as well.
33:26One takes over, the other two have a breather.
33:28Always handy.
33:28Yes.
33:29You know, one is maturing.
33:31Yes.
33:31We've had a great time, we really have.
33:33We've enjoyed it.
33:34And it feels like to us, like a new band, really.
33:36So we're full of creativity and we're inspired to do good things.
33:40All right, but are you prepared to try and break the internet now?
33:43Break the internet?
33:44Yes.
33:45OK, you break the internet by trying to recreate this.
33:47Watch this on the screen there.
33:48Can you do this?
33:59MUSIC PLAYS
34:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:01There we go.
34:02OK, come over here.
34:03Come over here.
34:04Come over here, take that.
34:05Come over here, take that.
34:06Come here, quick, quick, quick.
34:07How am I going to do it covered in loop?
34:10Quick, quick, quick.
34:11Come on, we're running out of time.
34:13Here we go.
34:13Will we get that music?
34:15Rumour has it.
34:15Yeah, of course you will.
34:17The pan pipes.
34:17Can we have the pan pipes music for Mark, please?
34:19He's very demanding now.
34:20Oh, he's very good.
34:21OK, you drive the bus, you drive the bus, drive the bus.
34:24Lean back on each other's thighs.
34:27Close to your thighs as you can.
34:28Oh, that's all I say.
34:29OK.
34:31Are you OK?
34:32No, no, no.
34:33Take away the chairs.
34:35Take away the chairs.
34:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:43All right?
34:44All right, then?
34:47Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
34:49Hey, hey, hey, hey.
34:50If we're quick, I think we've got time for one more of these.
34:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:54It's your man!
34:56It's your man!
34:58It's your man!
35:00It's your man!
35:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:03Got a little letter here from a lady from Aston called Silla.
35:06It's Aston Silla, everyone.
35:08Yay!
35:09And she says, dear Chris,
35:10are you aware of the Instagram phenomenon that is Uncle Pappy?
35:14Ooh!
35:15You mean this guy?
35:16People talk about floor-to-mine this, floor-to-mine that,
35:19and it's always something bad, man.
35:20What about the floor-to-mine who relaxes in the pond,
35:23lives in harmony with the alligators and the water moccasins?
35:26Do we know him?
35:27He's here!
35:28Please welcome Uncle Pappy!
35:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:42By the way!
35:44By the way!
35:47Nobody warned us.
35:48He's quite a handsome box of drinks, isn't he?
35:50No.
35:51How are you, Blair?
35:52I'm great.
35:53How are you, Chris?
35:53Oh my God, I'm so excited to have you on the show, man!
35:56I can't believe I'm here.
35:57Are you pumped?
35:58Are you pumped?
35:58Yes, yes!
36:01He's pumped!
36:02First of all, how come you're here in the UK?
36:04I'm here for my brother's wedding.
36:07Bryce and Laura, the best couple ever.
36:09They live in Bethnal Green, so I'm hanging out there.
36:11So when's the wedding?
36:12Uh, Saturday.
36:13Saturday, alright.
36:14Will Uncle Pappy be making a speech?
36:16Oh, yeah, yeah.
36:17He's got it!
36:18Actually, I don't think he wants me to make a speech.
36:21Really?
36:21If I did Uncle Pappy, he'd probably roll his eyes and be like,
36:24why are you, don't do that.
36:25Well, I was going to say, what might Uncle Pappy say at the wedding?
36:28I think the point of life, you know, the point of life is to find people that you love
36:33and that love you back.
36:35It's all about love, happiness, connection, friendship, struggle and overcoming those,
36:39and they are the perfect example of all of those things.
36:42Yeah!
36:45Let's go back to the origin story.
36:47Is it true that Uncle Pappy really only happened because Snapchat invented a mustache app?
36:53The filter that I use on Snapchat is just an old version, old person filter.
36:58So it's just my...
36:59I just...
36:59I don't need one of those!
37:01No.
37:02So I, just because I have a mustache, it just has a mustache.
37:05Oh, I see.
37:05But that's just because I have it.
37:06Just give us the morning of the birth of Uncle Pappy.
37:09My friend Frank, who has a big YouTube channel, he was like, you should put these on Instagram
37:15and TikTok.
37:15And I said, there's no way anybody would ever watch any of this.
37:18Like, no one would ever want to watch this.
37:20He's like, you should!
37:21So what was your first positive Pappy post?
37:23It was the one where I think I just said, like, hey, I don't know...
37:26Did you say it or did he say it?
37:27He said...
37:28How would he say it?
37:29Okay, I think...
37:31We've got a little cowboy hat over there.
37:33Okay, let's see.
37:34This is gonna work.
37:36Oh!
37:37Come on!
37:38Yeah, yeah.
37:39Oh!
37:39Ha, ha, ha!
37:41Ha!
37:41So, I know...
37:41I need some water in a bare chest.
37:43Hey, y'all, I don't know about y'all, but today, I'm gonna have the best day of my
37:47life.
37:48After somebody, you know, honks at me in traffic, I can't believe we're alive at the
37:51same time!
37:52Yeah!
37:53I think...
37:55I think that was my first positive, like, purely positive.
37:59Now, of course, you do do other impressions, don't you?
38:01Because you did Uncle Pappy doing Robin Williams.
38:04Oh, yeah.
38:05Um, okay, let me see.
38:07Okay.
38:09Uh, Will, it's not your fault.
38:12I'm here on the Chris Evans radio show.
38:14Oh, it's beautiful.
38:15Oh, it's so good.
38:16Here we are on the radio.
38:18Everyone in the cars, everyone eating breakfast, going on the way.
38:20It's not your fault.
38:22It's okay.
38:22It's all okay.
38:24I don't know.
38:25I don't know.
38:25I...
38:26I don't even think I have that good of a Robin Williams impression.
38:30Thanks to Blair Carlisle.
38:32Yeah!
38:33Okay.
38:33He was an amazing human being.
38:36And, uh, nice time to say goodbye from the one, the only Uncle Pappy.
38:41Okay.
38:43Hey there, folks.
38:44Chris, I want to say thank you so much for having me, sitting in the pond, thinking about
38:48you over here, starting people's mornings in the best way possible.
38:52And that is a beautiful thing.
38:54I hope every one of you today has the best day ever.
38:56Choose to have the best day ever.
38:58And, Chris, thank you so, so much, brother.
39:01Uncle Pappy!
39:04Still to come, the winner of the Battle of the Rip-Hop.
39:06Will it be Noel or will it be Damon?
39:08Yeah!
39:09And Tom Fletcher, singing Connington Live and Studio.
39:12But now, for something special, more from the Queen of Pop, performing with Dave Stewart,
39:17Natalie Imbruglia and Sinead O'Connor.
39:18This is Kylie with Love is a Stranger.
39:20Yeah!
39:21Yeah!
39:22And I want you.
39:24And I want you.
39:26And I want you.
39:27And I want you.
39:28So it's an obsession.
39:33And I want you.
39:35And I want you.
39:37And I want you.
39:37And I want you.
39:39So it's an obsession.
39:54That was Kylie Minogue, the Woman of the Week with Love is a Stranger.
40:00And now, and now, and now, and now, now it's time to reveal the winner of the TFI Unplugged Battle
40:05of Britpop, Noel versus Damon.
40:07That is Gallagher versus Arbonne.
40:10And here to reveal the winner is someone who looks a little bit like one of them, once upon a
40:15time, I'm not quite sure.
40:17Also known as Frank from The Office.
40:20Go on, Frank! Go on, Frank!
40:23The winner is...
40:26Noel Gallagher.
40:28Roll the tape.
40:30Can I say there is not enough money on this street that would make me play to you any of
40:37my new songs?
40:37It will cost you 50 grand.
40:40Unless you've got it, or else if you're a TV.
40:43That's not even 50 pence, mate.
40:45No, it's 20 feet.
40:47Who was that for?
40:48That's Gabby Roslin!
40:50Right, Ed's we play him, tells me don't.
40:54Here we go.
40:55Yes!
40:56OK.
40:59Ed's we play him, tells me don't.
41:00Is that what I said?
41:01Ed's...
41:02Ed's is it!
41:09A little bit.
41:11It wasn't, you know it wasn't.
41:14No, excuse me, it was Tails, never trust a man.
41:18Never trust a man who's got a mirror in the shape of his own head.
41:20Tails.
41:22A riff of my big mouth.
41:25It's a riff.
41:26A chord.
41:29Have you got a plectrum?
41:31Oh!
41:33No!
41:34Can't do it without plectrums you see.
41:35Fair enough, I'm not going to argue it any more.
41:37Hey, you know the Brits?
41:39Yes.
41:39Oh, is that a disappointment?
41:40Yeah.
41:41Oh, well let's see one of your songs then.
41:47That was a big confrontation, wasn't it?
41:50That was fair enough, I suppose.
41:51As far as the Brits are concerned,
41:53is it true that you said to someone
41:56that there was a threat made to you, or veiled threats to you,
41:59that not playing live at the Brits might hinder your career?
42:02Is that true?
42:02Yeah.
42:03Do you think the Brits are a sham?
42:04I think every time you've presented it, it's been terrible.
42:10Do you think the awards themselves are a sham?
42:12I think that any...
42:14I'll just get into my little...
42:16No, no, don't.
42:17Anyone that's presented by the kids on the streets,
42:19God bless you all, is important.
42:22Anyone that's presented by people in ponytails and suits,
42:25corporate...
42:26We don't really particularly interested in that.
42:28But the reason we went was because if we didn't go,
42:31it would be...
42:32We had to be there to...
42:33Well, basically to swear on TV.
42:35Right.
42:36And eventually they played that version where you did?
42:38Yes.
42:39Okay.
42:39Were you aware that the organisers of the Brits condemned Jarvis
42:42for what he did during the Jackson number?
42:44Jarvis Cocker...
42:45I must say this, Jarvis Cocker is a star,
42:48and he should be given an MBE.
42:49Yeah!
42:51Because...
42:53Because...
42:54Because...
42:54For Michael Jackson to come over to this country,
42:57after what's all gone on,
42:58and I think we all know what we're talking about here,
43:00to dress in a white robe,
43:02right,
43:02thinking he's the messiah.
43:04I mean...
43:04I mean, who does he think he is?
43:05Me?
43:06Right?
43:07That is out of order.
43:10The only reason I didn't dress in a white robe is because my mother
43:14could not get the wool from the shopping time.
43:17And next year...
43:18Next year, it's you in a white robe.
43:19Next year, we've got the paper mache cross.
43:23Yes, it's all right.
43:25Would you go next year?
43:26Pardon?
43:26Would you go next year?
43:27I probably won't get nominated next year.
43:28Would you go if you were?
43:29Are you going?
43:30I'm not going to go over again.
43:31I'm not going if you want.
43:33How's Liam?
43:34Big headed.
43:37Is it true that you said he's always wanted to be me?
43:40He always has.
43:40It's just the way he is.
43:41Of course he's always wanted to be me.
43:43Have you ever wanted to be him?
43:44Ever?
43:45Not once?
43:45For one second?
43:47I actually did.
43:48For one second.
43:53Anything to do with Patsy Kenzie?
43:55No?
43:58What was the one second you wanted to be Liam?
43:59It was so incidental I can't even remember it.
44:02Right.
44:02But it was one second?
44:03It was one second.
44:04It came and it went.
44:06In the second?
44:07Just like that.
44:07Do you need each other professionally?
44:09Do you actually need each other?
44:10I don't need anybody.
44:12Really?
44:13No.
44:14See what I need?
44:15I need my guitar and my imagination.
44:18And people like you to plug my records, Chris.
44:22And now unfortunately it's my guitar and you won't play it?
44:24I know.
44:24Well, it wasn't Ed's, was it?
44:26It was Ed's.
44:27It was Ed's.
44:28In the kitchen you'll say, I know it was like that.
44:30Oh, yeah.
44:30Well, maybe.
44:31Listen.
44:32Maybe.
44:32You're going to be the one saving me.
44:37I like that.
44:39Do you?
44:39I admire that.
44:40Cool.
44:40Now listen.
44:41Thanks very much for watching.
44:42This has been TFI Friday and Good Friday.
44:4450 grand.
44:45He may well put the guitar up and play on that.
44:47See, if you play in five seconds, we won't even be on the damn air anymore.
44:49That's all right.
44:50We'll have a point, don't we, then?
44:51Oh, my God!
44:54Noel Gallagher anywhere, there you are.
44:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:59Noel Gallagher was the winner.
45:01All right, Frank, just time to tell everyone what's on next week's show.
45:04I've no idea.
45:05No, it's in the envelope.
45:06It's in the envelope.
45:08Oh, we've absolutely no idea.
45:10We've absolutely no idea!
45:12Here's Tom Fletcher singing a song from Paddington.
45:16Marmalade, why not?
45:16A bit more marmalade on the Friday.
45:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:34Then you add a lot of sugar and when it's done you've just made marmalade.
45:44Marmalade in every way.
45:48You can even leave the peeling.
45:51Nothing else is more appealing than marmalade.
45:58Add a pinch of this, spread a bit of that.
46:02It's always wise to keep a sandwich just under your hat.
46:07It doesn't matter where you come from or how far you roam.
46:12One bite and you will know there's no taste like home when it's marmalade.
46:28Marmalade in every way.
46:30And you wish it would end.
46:33Do your tongue a little favour and try this my friend.
46:37It's called mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, marmalade.
46:43Marmar, listen in every way.
46:47I don't know if I should admit it.
46:49I'd take a sticky shower in it.
46:52Mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, mar, mar.
46:55Come on, Channel 4, give us a second series, please.
46:58We've hit all the demographics.