- 2 days ago
The Freemans sell an explosive hair product and contend with the black market of the hair-care industry.
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FunTranscript
00:08In retrospect, it really was my fault.
00:17This is all your fault, granddad.
00:19If we die, I ain't never gonna forgive you.
00:21Don't turn over.
00:30Oh, no.
00:31What are we gonna do?
00:35First thing you need to do is get some clothes on.
00:43All right, think.
00:44We gotta think about what we gonna do.
00:46Huey, what do we do?
00:48We go home.
00:50This way.
00:51What home?
00:52We have no home.
00:53We have no future.
00:54We have nothing.
01:10Granddad!
01:14Granddad, come on!
01:15Nope.
01:17This is it.
01:18End of the road for me.
01:19Granddad, we don't have time for this.
01:21They're coming.
01:22You guys go.
01:22I'm not coming.
01:23I'm gonna stand in the middle of the road in my drawl
01:26with this gun until the man comes.
01:29Then I'm gonna go out like a
01:31G.
01:33Quentin!
01:35You look real gay.
01:38I am the stone that the builder refused.
01:40I am the visual, the inspiration
01:42that made ladies sing the blues.
01:44I'm the spark that makes your idea bright.
01:45The same spark that lights the dark
01:47so that you can know you're left from your right.
01:48I am the ballad in your box.
01:50The bullet in the gun, the inner glow
01:52that lets you know to call your brother's son.
01:54The story that just begun,
01:55the promise of what's to come.
01:56And I'm gonna remain a soldier till the war is won.
01:59One.
01:59Chop, chop, chop.
02:01You won't flip.
02:02Chop, chop, chop.
02:03You go flip.
02:04Chop, chop, chop.
02:06You won't flip.
02:07Chop, chop, chop.
02:24Boy, what the hell are you doing in here?
02:26I told you I'm working with very unstable material.
02:29It would help if you were not.
02:31It would help me if you shut the hell up.
02:33I held that appointment with the financial planner.
02:35And you're both coming with me.
02:37Man, why do we have to go?
02:38Now that our situation has changed,
02:40we need to start thinking like white people.
02:42All of us.
02:42I told you I have to finish my chemistry project.
02:45Are you sure you're just doing a chemistry project
02:47and not making no bombs?
02:49Yes, Granddad.
02:50I swear I'm not making a bomb.
02:53What is that?
02:54That pink stuff right there.
02:56Isn't that for terrorists put up their booty hole,
02:58then they put a match up their booty hole
03:00to blow up the whole plane?
03:01You better not be making no booty hole bombs around here.
03:04It's not a bomb, Granddad.
03:05It's wave cream.
03:07I've been thinking about going with the Billy Dee look.
03:11Good.
03:12About time.
03:13Come on, let's go.
03:18Don't go back.
03:19Give it to me straight.
03:20I've been giving it to you straight for a half hour, Mr. Freeman.
03:23According to this,
03:24every one of your credit cards is maxed out.
03:27You're broke.
03:27You've got zip.
03:28Zero.
03:29Zilch.
03:30I'd say you have six months
03:31before you and your grandchildren are homeless and starving.
03:35Do you really need cable?
03:36High-speed internet?
03:37I see a lot of money on restaurants.
03:39We don't go to restaurants.
03:41That's Granddad going out on dates
03:42and feeding bitches again.
03:44You'll probably also need to cut electricity, water.
03:47How many kidneys do you have, Mr. Freeman?
03:50Do you have any friends who are trafficking drugs?
03:53Can you think of any way to make some quick money, Mr. Freeman?
03:59Mr. Freeman?
04:09Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:11Look at this.
04:12Oh, how the high yeller shall be last.
04:15And the last shall be high yeller.
04:18Leave me alone, ruckus.
04:19I'm working as fast as I can.
04:20Oh, yeah, nigga.
04:21Oh, this ain't nothing like the movie Car Wash, is it, nigga?
04:24Oh, no.
04:25Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
04:26Ain't no singing.
04:27No dancing.
04:28No Richard Pryor.
04:29Nothing.
04:30Oh, by the way,
04:31that lazy Mexican sumbitch Chico canceled.
04:33And I need you to stay till closing time.
04:36But I had plans tonight.
04:37Plans?
04:38Plans?
04:38Ain't no nigga make no plans.
04:40Niggas just react to outside stimuli.
04:43Now, I got some plans, too.
04:45I plan to keep your black ass here.
04:48Sumbitch!
04:51You heard that man, Granddad.
04:53We don't have the finances to be feeding these bitches.
04:56Everything's fine.
04:57It's not that bad.
04:58Just one dinner.
05:01QEWEE!
05:02Granddad's taking bitches out to eat again!
05:04Going on a hot date, hot date, hot day.
05:11Ah, damn it.
05:14I'm out of nap.
05:15Be gone.
05:16I might still have time to run to the store.
05:20No way, Granddad.
05:21We ain't got no money for wave jail.
05:23You ain't got enough here to worry about no way.
05:35Ah, pretty boy.
05:37Play it.
05:42Hey, cutie pie.
05:44Sorry for the late date.
05:45My, uh, corner office was packed full of meetings.
05:48Um, anyway, you all set for tonight?
05:50Where you want to go, baby?
05:52Mr. Chance, that, I, uh, don't really like Chinese food.
05:57Hey, here's an idea.
05:59Why don't we skip the fancy dinner and just do something free, you know, like watch a movie
06:04on basic cable, pop some popcorn, make some ramen noodles.
06:09Well, you see, to be honest, I'm a little short on cash.
06:13Hello?
06:15Hello?
06:16Whew.
06:18That was a close one.
06:19What's for dinner?
06:20It's just not fair.
06:22Truth is, your granddaddy has always had a hard time with women.
06:26I'm not very fit.
06:27I'm not very funny.
06:29Not particularly good at conversations.
06:31Lord knows I'm not good in bed.
06:33But I had money.
06:34And as long as I had money, I could have a moderately satisfying sex life.
06:41No more.
06:44No more.
06:52Come on, come on, come on, come on.
06:58Oh, yeah.
07:01Oh, yeah.
07:07Oh, yeah.
07:14Well, did you try it?
07:23We're gonna be rich!
07:25I'm gonna be rich! This is one of these small hairs!
07:27I kinda like your hair, it's like you kinda got that J-Lo thing going on with you, you know?
07:30Kinda like the white girl.
07:33I like that, I like that, it's pretty hot.
07:35I'm the most beautiful girl in the world!
07:38I'm so happy for you, Robert!
07:40This is gonna revolutionize the whole black hair care industry!
07:44You're sitting on a gold mine!
07:45Oh, thank you, Jesus!
07:47I always knew if I pretended to believe in you, it would pay off someday!
07:50So what's the plan?
07:51Yeah, how do we get paid?
07:53Mmm...
07:54Now, now, there's a lot that has to be done before you can bring something like this to market.
07:58You need a business plan, lawyers, distribution...
08:01How much more of this stuff do you have?
08:03I'm not sure, I got it from Huey.
08:04Well, where did he get it from?
08:05Hey Grandad, have you seen that container of pink gel I was...
08:09Hey Huey, how much more of that wave cream do you have?
08:11Grandad, you didn't.
08:12This wave cream you made is way more than just wave cream!
08:16It grows hair overnight!
08:18It does what?
08:19It grows hair!
08:22Long, straight, beautiful hair!
08:24Grandad, that was a highly explosive compound for a bomb!
08:28A bomb?
08:30But you told me it wasn't a bomb!
08:32You specifically said it was not a bomb!
08:36Boy, come here, come here!
08:38You wanna make a bomb?
08:39I'm gonna bomb your narrow ass with this belly!
08:41You got to wash that out right now!
08:43All of you!
08:45No!
08:46You'll never take my hair!
08:47No!
08:48Mine either!
08:50Dammit, boy, why do you have to ruin everything?
08:52What are you making bombs for?
08:53To kill Ed once in a second and get our freedom back!
08:56That's your plan?
08:57You know for a smart nigga you come up with some dumb ass plans.
09:01Now how much of that bomb wave cream do you have?
09:03Hey!
09:04That should be the name!
09:05Bomb wave cream!
09:07Good idea!
09:09Write it down before we forget!
09:10Did you not hear me?
09:11One spark in heads could actually explode!
09:14Bomb wave cream!
09:15An explosion of beautiful hair!
09:17Oh!
09:19I like that!
09:21Grandad, you're gonna kill people!
09:22We'll put a warning label on it!
09:24Warning!
09:25Flammable!
09:26Moral Dilemma!
09:27Solved!
09:29Solved, nigga!
09:35Hey, stop!
09:36Get off me!
09:37I need it!
09:38I need it!
09:46Don't you see, Huey?
09:48This...
09:48This is our freedom!
09:51I agreed to help Grandad find a buyer,
09:54if he agreed to wash his hair.
09:56This is Boss Willoni,
09:58proprietor of a black beauty salon we found on Yelp.
10:01Supposedly, she knew everything there was about black beauty products.
10:05Although I started to suspect her operation might not be completely legit.
10:09This is a tough business.
10:11Normally, I try to talk people out of it.
10:13But you guys...
10:15You got something special!
10:18Very special!
10:19This isn't just Hair Relaxer.
10:21This is art!
10:23You niggas are some real artists!
10:26We used your gel on the left half of Hot Chocolate's hair.
10:29Bitches be hatin'.
10:33This is better than white bitch hair.
10:35This is damn near virgin Cambodian bitch quality!
10:39So I can presume you're interested in placing an order, Miss Willona.
10:43Boss Willona!
10:45Excuse me?
10:45I'm a businesswoman, Mr. Freeman.
10:47An African-American entrepreneur.
10:51You don't think I've earned the right to be called Boss?
10:55Huh?
10:56I mean, yes, of course you're the boss, Willona.
11:09Whoa!
11:10All right, all right, all right!
11:13I'll take all of it.
11:14Whatever you got.
11:15Boss Willona, can I advise my grandfather briefly?
11:20We need to get up out of here, Grandad.
11:22Leave!
11:23Why?
11:25Cause they're gangsters.
11:26Gangster?
11:26Boy, that's ridiculous.
11:28Miss Boss Willona is the pillar of the community.
11:30I assure you our operation is entirely legitimate.
11:35Boss Willona, there's something you should know about this stuff.
11:38No, there isn't.
11:39Boy, that's enough.
11:40Grandad, I think we should tell them.
11:41Don't listen to him, Boss Lady Willona.
11:43Damn, Huey.
11:44Why you gotta ruin everything?
11:46We gotta tell them.
11:47It's our responsibility to tell them, Grandad.
11:50Man, Huey, I can't stand you.
11:52Tell us what?
11:52Boss Willona, this stuff is dangerous.
11:55It's a highly explosive compound.
11:56Nobody should ever, ever put this in their hair.
11:59Damn it, boy.
12:00I'm gonna beat your ass when we get home.
12:06Explosive!
12:07You think them bitches out there care about a little fire?
12:10This here will turn your brain green.
12:13This stuff has plutonium.
12:15This one here is acid.
12:17Just acid.
12:19Don't you get it?
12:20These bitches would put napalm on their hair if it would make it straight.
12:24Put a warning label on it.
12:29Kaboom, niggas.
12:30It's the bomb right here.
12:31Your bad credit motherfucker.
12:33Shut up for seven years.
12:34We cook it.
12:35We pack it.
12:35We move it.
12:36We stack it.
12:37We re-up.
12:37We flip it.
12:38We all acrobatics.
12:39You see us here.
12:40We up.
12:40I know you mad at it.
12:42We fiends like they be.
12:43We all cash addicts.
12:45Dealers to the hookers.
12:46They break this shit.
12:46We get a hand over fist.
12:48Make some sign language.
12:49Honestly, sometimes get tired of this shit.
12:52But it's hard to forget how they line up for this shit.
12:55It ain't just crack, nigga.
12:56Everything's a track.
12:57I kept dope versus this old hard crap.
13:00Puzzle this hoopy music.
13:01You've seen, son.
13:02I'm de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de money.
13:04Oh, my God.
13:05I'm never going to look like Beyonce.
13:07That's right.
13:17So you're just going to sit there and not help?
13:19That's okay.
13:19He just don't get none of this money.
13:21I understand, Huey.
13:23So many bad things has happened with us.
13:25It's hard not to assume the worst.
13:27But don't you see?
13:28This time is different.
13:30This time, everything's going to work out perfectly.
13:33I hope it.
13:35Next on Channel 11 News, could you have a bomb in your hair?
13:40We'll tell you which popular African-American hair care product contains a dangerously explosive chemical.
13:47You think they mean us?
13:50The trouble started when two women attempted to board a plane and were stopped after explosives were detected on their
13:56person.
13:57Florida Beatrice Jackson and Tashondretta Brown were detained for several hours before it was finally discovered that their hair, or
14:04more precisely, their hair relaxer, was the culprit.
14:07I know we look like A-Rabs all exotified and whatnot with all this hair, but we ain't.
14:13Okay, so they need to go f*** with them actual A-Rabs and leave niggas the f*** alone.
14:18The ironically named hair gel is the hottest selling on the market, but experts claim a single jar contains enough
14:25high explosives to destroy a small plane or a Prius.
14:29Channel 11 obtained a sample of the hair gel and placed it in the wig you see on this mannequin.
14:36You can see for yourself the massive destructive power of this product.
14:45Right like White Beauty Shop, which said it had sold out of the product, claimed it would not be ordering
14:51any more, but refused to disclose the name of the manufacturer.
14:54See? No snitching. That's what I'm talking about.
14:57Shush!
14:57Meanwhile, authorities are urging people who bought the product to call the police, and their local bomb squad will properly
15:03dispose of the gel.
15:05This afternoon, the state legislature held an emergency session to make sale or possession of the hair gel a terrorist
15:11offense, punishable by torture, indefinite rendition, and execution by drone strike.
15:16And they'll deserve it.
15:18Tim, back to you.
15:19Does this mean we can't make no more money?
15:22No, it's not over. We'll appeal. Chef Blaine. They know the risks. There was a warning label.
15:27Are you serious?
15:31It's Walona.
15:35So, uh, I took the liberty of returning your money. Hope there's no hard feelings.
15:43I don't want the money back, Robert. I want more gel. A lot more.
15:50But, boss Walona, bomb hair gel has been declared a controlled substance. Selling more would be unthinkable.
15:57I don't believe it's the government's right to tell black women they can't have long, beautiful hair.
16:02Uh-uh. Or black men, either.
16:04So, you don't care that it's illegal?
16:06Just between us, my business isn't entirely legitimate.
16:10No.
16:12You shouldn't have promised her more, Granddad. There is no way I'm making more.
16:16Fine. We'll make it.
16:17Yeah, yeah. We'll make it, nigga. You think you're the only one in this house who knows chemistry?
16:22Obviously.
16:23Okay. Well, uh-huh. I got a little other stuff left. I can send it to a lab.
16:27Yeah. That always works on TV. I get it analyzed. I make it myself. How hard could it be?
16:32Analyze, nigga.
16:37Even if you could get the ingredients, you mix that stuff the wrong way, you'll blow up the whole house
16:42with us in it.
16:43What's my own with this house? I don't give a b***h.
16:46Granddad, stop!
16:47You can help me do it safely or watch me blow this b***h up.
16:51Go call, nigga.
16:55You two have to follow my instructions exactly.
16:57No problem.
16:59Okay, okay, Huey. I see you. Maybe you ain't so gay after all.
17:03And we can't do it here. We need to set up somewhere. Nobody will find it.
17:10Eww. Couldn't you have gotten something nicer?
17:13We ain't taking it to a car show. We're cooking hair relaxer. Will this work?
17:16Yeah. It'll work.
17:18All right. Let's get to it.
17:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. What you doing?
17:23I can't have my clothes smelling like this stuff.
17:25Yes, you can.
17:26Hey, I ain't getting in there until he put on some clothes.
17:30Shut up. Let's get to it.
17:33Why he always finding excuses to get naked, Huey?
17:35It's gay. Even worse. It's homosexual.
17:47Hmm.
17:48Hmm.
18:03Well, when now?
18:05Now we call Boss Valona.
18:15So this is where you make it?
18:18Smart.
18:19Nobody will ever find this.
18:21And everything you need is right in there, huh?
18:28Oh, man.
18:29Why do we think to bring no guns?
18:31Don't take this personal, guys.
18:33I'm a businesswoman.
18:34It's just business.
18:36I'm gonna get shot by a gay dude.
18:38How embarrassing.
18:39What?
18:39What do you want?
18:40The formula.
18:42Teach us how to make it.
18:50Toodles.
19:00Put out the cigarette.
19:09Let's take a little pour, then a pinch and a splash.
19:15Or is it a splash?
19:17A pinch and a pour.
19:19Wrong one.
19:30Oh, no.
19:35Raleigh!
19:43Where, Dad?
19:45We gotta get out of here.
19:47Look!
19:50This is all your fault, friend, Dad.
19:52When we die, I ain't never gonna forgive you.
19:59Don't turn over!
20:25You're lazy, nigga.
20:26You supposed to be at the car wash.
20:28I'm docking you a four-day pay.
20:33It's not fair!
20:34I can't take it!
20:35No!
20:37They took everything!
20:38They can't get away with it!
20:39They can't!
20:40They can't get away with it!
20:44Oh, my hair.
20:47This nigga done lost his damn mind!
20:49Let's go!
20:53Keys?
20:54Uh-uh.
20:54I can hotwire this f***.
20:56Dad!
20:56Ah!
20:58Ah!
20:59Oh!
21:00I wish I had died in Korea!
21:02Ah!
21:02Ah!
21:04Ah!
21:05Ah!
21:07Ah!
21:07Ah!
21:09Ah!
21:09Ah!
21:11In retrospect, it was my fault.
21:14Let's go home.
21:15But what about this?
21:17There are two bodies in there.
21:19We chop them up and dump the body.
21:21No!
21:22No!
21:23Look!
21:23Look at the example I'm setting.
21:26None of this is okay.
21:27I'm a terrible grandparent.
21:29You boys deserve better than this.
21:30I'm gonna turn myself in.
21:34Got it!
21:46Which way you say home was?
21:47This way.
21:50I hope nobody see us walking home with you in your underwear.
22:06This way I think it's OK.
22:07Do you know me?
22:09I'm gonna meet you in your covered walk?
22:12Hear it, ya.
22:12I'm gonna go home.
22:12Hear it, ya.
22:12It's a scary one.
22:15You're up?
22:15Wait.
22:15So?
22:16Oh.
22:16This way.
22:17Yeah.
22:17You have two together.
22:19You are so.
22:23Only way you may you run.
22:23It works.
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