- 12 hours ago
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00:00That's aaaah!
00:01Uuaah!
00:02Aaaaah...
00:02I believe they don't like that.
00:03Well I actually hear what they have!
00:07All Barcelona.
00:10Eлавnd...
00:11No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:14A...what?
00:14Look, fetish!
00:15I had no idea that was a thing.
00:17Remove my britches.
00:18Expose your loins.
00:19I like that.
00:20Whoo hoo!
00:21Hahahaha!
00:23Oh!
00:23This is weird.
00:25Jeej!
00:25You son of a plantation.
00:27This is why I don't eat.
00:28That is Dyson the Devil.
00:30Oh, no.
00:30He suffers for his heart, doesn't he?
00:33A Bentley Continental!
00:35I think I'd rather call it a day, Natalie, wouldn't you?
00:37Who's been arrested now and for what?
00:41In the week by George sang for San Marino in the Eurovision semis,
00:46we enjoyed lots of great telly.
00:49There was more drama from Downing Street dominating the headlines.
00:53The Prime Minister arrived here, his job on the line.
00:57Some in his party have fretted he's not up to it.
01:00For months, they are out to destroy a once great country.
01:05You think he's taken the job as PM in order to destroy it?
01:08Destroy it, yeah.
01:09What?
01:10You think he's pretend...
01:11Probably in league with the World Economic Forum and Klaus Schwab.
01:16Oh, Charles, you do sound like a nutter.
01:18It was the party of all parties for a national treasure on BBC One.
01:23And I think to myself...
01:26What a wonderful world.
01:29The world doesn't look like that now.
01:31It's got Walker's crisps all over the floor.
01:43It's sad.
01:44And they were desperately seeking some romance on Channel 4.
01:48My parents are both romantic.
01:50But the relationship with my mum, when it comes to dating and love,
01:54is really special.
01:55You see, it's weird, isn't it?
01:57You know, when love's first bud, it's like a flower, isn't it, love?
02:01When you think about it.
02:02You know, your first date is like the shoot where it just comes out.
02:05And then, as time progresses, it gets nice and expands and the love gets bigger.
02:10And then, ultimately, it dies.
02:23Oh, don't make yourself unattractive to me.
02:26Let me hold one.
02:27These are the first vegetables of the season, Mary.
02:30Let me hold one.
02:31Giles and his wife, Mary.
02:33One big one for Daddy.
02:34Right.
02:35One smaller one for Mummy.
02:36OK, I'm leaving.
02:36I'm off.
02:37No, don't spoil the moment.
02:39Let me hold it, then.
02:40Don't spoil the moment, Natty.
02:42Let this be a happy family moment.
02:45On Friday, Channel 4 had us counting down to the weekend.
02:49Right, come on, Ellie.
02:50Look alive.
02:53Oxygenate the brain.
02:54Calm down.
02:55Reminds me of getting off the school bus,
02:57going to my gran and grandad,
02:58having tea and watching the telly.
03:05Concentrate, Martha.
03:07We're going to have a child genius on our hands
03:10if we keep this up.
03:11It's the most middle-aged shit I've ever seen.
03:14Already five octal chants have been crowned.
03:17Could be six by the end of today.
03:19Ooh, excitement.
03:20The tension.
03:22Reintroduced for the last time for now,
03:24our champion Patrick Thompson.
03:26We've got the champion on with a face like a smacked ass.
03:28Patrick looks like my tone of voice.
03:31You're up against Simon Randall.
03:33Oh, but my life is my friend Simon Randall.
03:36Oh, it's stopped.
03:37It is.
03:39Kill.
03:40Come on, Simon.
03:43Consonant, please.
03:44Start today with R.
03:46Oh, here we go.
03:46Right.
03:48Ruh.
03:48Oh, she's loving it.
03:49And another H.
03:51So what's happening here?
03:53Right, are you...
03:54For someone that watched it every night
03:56to your gran and grandas,
03:57you weren't from watching, were you?
03:58I wasn't watching, I was listening.
04:00And another U.
04:01Oh.
04:02What was yours?
04:03Ooh, yeah.
04:03She's trying to tell you.
04:04And another N.
04:06Ooh.
04:08Phenomenon.
04:09That was not M.
04:12Bone.
04:14Bone.
04:14Oh, yeah.
04:15Yeah.
04:16Bone, Jess.
04:18Bone.
04:19F-few.
04:20And f-in.
04:22Neon.
04:24Oh, no.
04:25For, well, no.
04:26Can't even do that.
04:27In my defence, English is, like,
04:28our third language.
04:31Fuck me, this is horrible.
04:33Hang on a minute.
04:34Hang on a minute.
04:35Peroni, my favourite.
04:37Peroni.
04:38Bone.
04:39Bone.
04:40Bone.
04:45i've got nothing iphone
04:50patrick uh seven he's got a seven out of that oh well he would smart man
04:54seven simon uh seven as well he's got a seven as well we've got a jewel
04:59excellent stuff patrick uh phonia phonia phonia there's no f
05:06and for you simon yep the same get in
05:10what's phonia like a phobia he said phonia yeah so you're scared of phones
05:17you've got phonia that's like when you've got two phones one of them
05:21looks quite a bit like a phone but the other one's just a bit more phonia
05:27there's your phonia oh it's there kaz constantly rachel thank you patrick
05:33l l here we go and another e lapis lazuli
05:38lee oh yeah it's got lee yeah consonant please
05:43pens pens
05:45penn is mary
05:48penn is
05:49penn is
05:58o-p-e-n-e-s
06:01oh god
06:06penis it is then she's trying to tell us the answer you're not listening
06:09she's saying penises as well she's not gonna be a first word she'll drop it
06:14patrick please say penis
06:16uh eight
06:17eight
06:17oh
06:18from what and for you simon
06:20just seven
06:21just a seven
06:22oh simon's got a seven jane
06:25what's the seven pennies
06:26pennies very good
06:27and the pennies dropped for patrick
06:29pensione
06:30oh is that italian for penis
06:32what's that an indian dish
06:34pensione
06:34oh no i'm thinking of peshwari
06:36oh nice
06:37patrick though brilliant on the conundrums
06:40oh the conundrum
06:41the conundrum
06:41i can't even say it
06:43sometimes it comes to me in a flash
06:47it does
06:48let's find out and reveal friday's
06:50countdown conundrum
06:53oh what
06:54the clock didn't even start
06:55that is mental that
06:57resembled
06:59let's have a look
07:00ah
07:01how
07:02shut up
07:04unbelievable
07:04patrick thompson
07:05look at the clock
07:08yeah
07:09will you text simon
07:11have you got tlannan's text number
07:13will you contact me
07:13yeah
07:14i saw you
07:15i messaged you
07:16uh
07:16saw you on countdown simon
07:22in leeds
07:23right what do you want
07:25crisp rice
07:25smoky bacon
07:26roast chicken
07:27cheese and onion
07:28beef hula's
07:29prawn cocktail
07:30already salted
07:32smoky bacon please
07:34wait till you see this
07:36sisters ellie
07:37and izzy
07:38so
07:38i've done us
07:40a bread cake each
07:41half way for thin ham
07:42half way for thin chicken
07:44get cooked fudge
07:45then a cheeky half
07:47ooooh
07:49lashings of butter
07:50yeah but is it
07:52oh my god
07:52i had boiled eggs and soldiers before i came round here i was absolutely stuffed
07:57really
07:58do you think
07:59give it for later
07:59put it in foil
08:00check it home
08:03or just force it in and pog yourself
08:06also an option
08:07yeah
08:09on monday
08:10rav and the team were fighting crime online again on bbc1
08:14oh no do you need to get out because you want to watch scam interceptors
08:18let's see how we can fraud people
08:19no it's how you can protect yourself from baddies
08:23yeah protect people
08:24yeah
08:27the only thing i think you should be aware of is if it sounds too good to be true it
08:34usually
08:34isn't
08:35do you not understand that
08:37yeah you just contradict
08:38if it sounds too good to be true
08:40then it is too good to be true
08:43yes
08:43you said it isn't
08:45it isn't true
08:48if it sounds too good to be true then it is
08:52too good to be true
08:53to be true
08:53that's it
08:55glad you're not dishing out too much advice
08:57you get people all out of the shop
08:59has you ever been a loyal customer to the sky for so long a long time
09:03to the sky
09:05the company has decided to give you back your one-year-line return money
09:08oh my god i had this happen to me
09:11as if i'd be like don't lie to me
09:13oh yeah
09:14no one gives you any feedback because you've been a good customer do they
09:18you've just found more remote access on someone else's device
09:20different scam now sky impersonation it seems
09:23oh rav's looking extra dish here like how he's gelled his hair today
09:26and that might pull up
09:27and in this case we can see that he's got remote access to this man's mobile phone
09:31talk us through it curtains
09:32on the right hand side of the screen and then on the left he's currently signing them up
09:36for online banking
09:37oh my god
09:38no that's quite scary
09:39that's insane
09:39this is a really complex operation like he's got him to download software
09:44you've got no chance to make up your ass
09:46it's a big amount of money
09:49£498 all in total
09:50you are going to get from this guy
09:52this guy would never do that
09:54you used to work for them yeah
09:56i worked for them for six months before they felt they'd seen enough of me
09:59you've got the debit card with you am i correct
10:02oh debit card no protection
10:03we need your number we need your pin code
10:06yeah oh yes
10:07the man is told to place his card in front of his phone camera
10:12that's so they can capture a picture of the card
10:14and use it again on somewhere else
10:16thanks to ethical hacker agent g9
10:18sorry what
10:19what the fuck
10:20we now know the man's name
10:22his mobile number
10:24and postcode
10:25oh brilliant
10:26but remember they can't ring him
10:28yeah
10:28they've now got to get someone round there quick
10:30yeah
10:31to protect his identity
10:32we'll call him john
10:34poor john's going to get scammed
10:36he tells john to check his tv
10:39while he does that
10:40the scammer steals his money
10:43no
10:45sending £500
10:46he's taking £500
10:48oh my god
10:49transfer created
10:51he's doing another transaction now
10:53another 498 quid
10:54he's doing it again
10:55an interceptor alice
10:56makes a breakthrough
10:58oh come on alice
11:00she finds the telephone number
11:02of a neighbour
11:04hallelujah
11:05yeah that was good
11:06that's brilliant that is
11:08first transfer's done
11:10hello
11:11oh hello
11:12we're in
11:13we're in
11:14there is someone
11:15I believe in
11:16a couple of doors down
11:17from your road
11:18who is actually
11:19in the process of being
11:20scammed
11:21can you imagine
11:22getting that phone call
11:22I'd be like
11:23this sounds like a scam
11:24what do you mean
11:25I'd go to the dorm room
11:26I literally just need
11:27a knock on the door
11:28and to say
11:29please get off the phone
11:31you are talking to a scammer
11:32come on lady
11:32I can phone him
11:33and speak to him
11:34and explain what's going on
11:35okay then
11:36oh she's a good lesson
11:37well you'd do that
11:38street away wouldn't you
11:40what happened
11:41is this it
11:43I think she's there
11:44she's there
11:45she's on the
11:46she's on the door
11:46you don't need to
11:47open the door right now
11:48because the internet work
11:49is going on right now
11:50oh you cheeky bugger
11:53internet work is going
11:54on right now
11:55no no no no no
11:57mr scammer
11:58someone's here
11:59hello
12:01hello
12:03John
12:03are you there John
12:06the call ended
12:07oh
12:10that's the result
12:11hey
12:12this is
12:15Rav Wilding
12:15from the
12:16scam interceptor
12:17programme
12:17oh
12:17this is
12:18Rav from
12:19the BBC
12:19yeah
12:20I sent
12:21your neighbour
12:21to your house
12:23are you okay
12:25what the
12:26going on
12:27oh
12:28he's so distressed
12:29I need to reach out
12:30to Rav Wilding
12:31some arsehole
12:32has
12:32cloned my card
12:34details
12:34you're joking
12:35spent 140
12:36quid on me card
12:37shit
12:37but the best bit
12:38was the bank
12:38were going
12:39are you sure
12:40you've not spent
12:40this money
12:41yeah
12:41I'm sure
12:42do you even know
12:43who I am
12:45I wouldn't spend
12:45140 quid on anything
12:53in your room
12:55the best thing
12:55I've ever bought
12:56Josh with is
12:57barbecue
12:57you have them
12:58every night
12:58don't you
12:59every night
13:00best friends
13:01Abby and Georgia
13:02it's a plug-in
13:03barbecue
13:04and why you're not
13:05just cooking
13:05indoors until it
13:06gets sunny outside
13:07because I don't
13:08like the smell
13:08of food
13:10so any smell
13:12of meat
13:12is outside
13:13wafting away
13:14in the wind
13:17Josh loves it
13:18he saves
13:18every day
13:19I love this
13:20barbecue
13:22it's a wood
13:23fire barbecue
13:23what if you
13:24wanted rice
13:26I've also
13:26got a microwave
13:28so you don't
13:29put everything
13:30on the barbecue
13:30no I don't
13:32cook fucking
13:33rice on the
13:33barbecue
13:34what
13:36on Friday
13:38night
13:38the whole
13:39nation
13:39settled in
13:40to celebrate
13:41a remarkable
13:41milestone
13:42birthday
13:43oh
13:44celebration
13:45drink
13:45it is
13:46but it looks
13:46like wallpaper
13:47paste
13:48peanut clatter
13:49in it
13:49yeah
13:49and it tastes
13:51like wallpaper
13:51paste
13:52cheers sir
13:52David
13:52oh no
13:53properly
13:54cheers sir
13:55David
13:55happy 100th
13:57birthday
13:57hello and
13:58welcome to
13:59London's
14:00Royal Albert
14:00Hall
14:01oh look
14:02at that
14:03isn't that
14:03nice
14:04tonight we
14:05have a very
14:05special evening
14:06of music
14:07and celebration
14:07in store
14:08do they not
14:09realise that
14:09we can see
14:10them operating
14:11and tonight
14:12is all about
14:14celebrating
14:14the incredible
14:15life of the
14:16one and only
14:17Sir David
14:18Attenborough
14:18to me
14:19David Attenborough
14:20is the male
14:20version of the
14:21Queen
14:22I think of
14:23you know
14:23I'm proud
14:24to be British
14:26when I think
14:26of David Attenborough
14:27when I think
14:28of him
14:29yes
14:29steady
14:31he's just
14:32so perfect
14:33and admirable
14:34unlike
14:35your miserable
14:37husband
14:37husband
14:38I know
14:40you've got
14:41a few good
14:41things about
14:42you
14:42Nutty
14:43oh thanks
14:44for that
14:44Mary
14:47I think
14:48David Attenborough
14:48is the only
14:49person
14:49all us
14:50British people
14:51can agree
14:51on
14:51is a
14:52national
14:53treasure
14:53he is
14:54he can't
14:55have haters
14:55I refuse
14:56to believe
14:56he has
14:56a hater
14:57there was
14:58no expense
14:58spared
14:59as an old
15:00pal of David
15:00shared some
15:01special memories
15:02dear David
15:04oh an actual
15:05letter
15:06it is
15:07amazing to think
15:09that you and I
15:09have known one
15:10another
15:10for more than
15:1160 years
15:12more than 60 years
15:14they're like BFS
15:15indeed
15:15I believe
15:16I believe
15:17we first
15:17met
15:17in 1958
15:18what
15:19almost a decade
15:21before the age
15:23of colour television
15:24look at King Charles
15:25look at you
15:25where's King Charles
15:26yeah
15:27Anne Anne
15:28Princess Anne
15:28oh
15:29oh David Attenborough
15:30oh
15:30hello
15:31not the bloody
15:32parrot
15:32you have shared
15:34my determination
15:35to highlight
15:37the urgent need
15:39to protect
15:40and preserve
15:41this precious
15:43planet
15:44of ours
15:44I'm going to cry
15:45are you going to cry
15:46I don't know why
15:47yeah he's really
15:49really added
15:50to my life
15:50I feel like
15:52I want to be friends
15:53with David
15:53and King Charles
15:54you've missed the boat
15:55now
15:56they've got their
15:57small circle
15:58thank you then
15:59for all that you've done
16:01and on behalf
16:03of the whole nation
16:05I wish you
16:07a very happy
16:09100th birthday
16:12oh
16:13what's going on
16:14what's going on
16:15there's a tree down
16:17oh stop it
16:19oh my god
16:19stop it
16:20here we go
16:21we've got a border collie
16:22with a letter in its mouth
16:23oh
16:27how have they told
16:29that dog
16:29to deliver mild
16:31well it's only fitting
16:33an animal
16:33should deliver it
16:35anyway
16:35I know yeah
16:36no way
16:43he's going to take it
16:43from the dog's mouth
16:45is this for your life
16:52oh Christ
16:53where's it going now
16:56oh
16:57it's stuck in the head jog
16:58I thought I was going to cut
17:00the head jog in half
17:04squirrel's in on it now
17:05red squirrel
17:06not grey
17:07oh they've all come out
17:09to take his cab
17:10Jenny it's not
17:11Jenny it's not fucking real
17:18bloody hell
17:19it's amazing isn't it
17:23hi I don't think it's actually happening
17:25my love
17:25but don't burst my bubble
17:29f***ing hell
17:35I wonder if this is Sir David's actual house
17:38very touchy
17:40I wonder who
17:41thought this up
17:45oh he's got it in his hand
17:48how good does he look for a hundred
17:50he doesn't he look amazing
17:52he looks really good
17:59oh my god
18:01we get to be a part of singing
18:03happy birthday to David Attenborough
18:04day to you
18:20I'd have gone with Stevie Wonder Option
18:22if it were me
18:23yeah
18:25oh look at his little face
18:27he looks genuinely happy doesn't he
18:30look at those people with their nice faces
18:33are you finished
18:35yeah
18:35what are you crying for again
18:38I know I can't help
18:39I think it's really emotional
18:40that's most probably the most epic birthday
18:43shout out
18:44ever
18:45ever
18:45yeah
18:46later it only seemed right to hear from Sir David himself
18:53I see trees of green
18:56red roses too
18:59I see them bloom
19:01hang on this is a song Mary
19:02I know
19:03what's the song
19:04what a wonderful world
19:05by Louis Armstrong
19:06by Louis Armstrong
19:08and I think to myself
19:11stop it
19:12what a wonderful world
19:14it is a wonderful world
19:16when you look at the beauty isn't it
19:17that's because you're in it David
19:19that's why
19:20I see skies of blue
19:24clouds of white
19:25I've got goosebumps
19:27bright blessed days
19:32I think to myself
19:37what a wonderful world
19:39what a wonderful world
19:43the colours of a rainbow
19:47so pretty in the sky
19:52are also on the faces of people
19:55going by
19:56right come on
19:59pull your sound together
20:00the glasses are steamed up
20:01and hit me with screen wipers
20:03I never want to hear another version of this song again
20:05no I agree actually
20:07this is the version that lives on forever now
20:09I hear babies cry
20:13I watch them grow
20:16oh it is beautiful isn't it
20:19it really is
20:19look
20:20so David
20:21is so nice
20:22because in a shit world
20:23he reminds you
20:24there are pockets of beautiful
20:26that still exist
20:27yeah
20:27quite simply
20:28wonderful
20:32I mean what a legacy
20:34David Attenborough
20:35I mean
20:36he hasn't got a legacy
20:38he is a legacy
20:39what do you think
20:41we're going to be remembered for
20:44caravans
20:44and chickens
20:46spamsanies
20:46spamsanies
20:47I could do you
20:49a nice montage
20:50for your birthday
20:52what you've done in your life
20:54I haven't done much lately
20:55I know
20:55it won't be long
20:56no
20:56I don't think David realises
20:58what he's actually added to the world
21:00he's learnt me so much
21:02and me
21:11if Aston Villa
21:12are in the top four
21:15of the league
21:16no top five
21:17top five
21:17of the league
21:19or
21:20they win this
21:22cup match
21:23that they're doing
21:24yes
21:24the UEFA cup
21:25that's the one
21:26Teresa
21:26and her wife
21:28Anita
21:28then that means
21:29that next
21:30next series
21:32season
21:34they will be
21:35in the
21:35Champions League
21:37Champions League
21:38yes
21:38and they play
21:39other teams
21:40around the world
21:42yeah
21:42around Europe
21:43yeah
21:43Europe
21:43ok
21:45right
21:45ok
21:47well done
21:48I'm impressed
21:48yeah
21:49well I'm just trying to work out
21:50you see
21:51whether
21:52I want them to lose
21:54so that they don't
21:55play so many games
21:57next year
21:57so I don't have to sit here
21:58and endure so many matches
22:00but if they lose
22:01then you're going to be
22:02a bit
22:02sad
22:03you
22:04I can't even believe
22:06you're thinking that
22:09on Friday night
22:11the political popularity
22:12contest was making
22:13the headlines
22:14and ITV was outside
22:16number 10
22:17with the latest update
22:18did you vote
22:19did you vote Jane
22:19I did vote
22:20well done you
22:21did you vote in personal
22:22or postal
22:22but in person
22:23did you
22:24yes I don't like postal
22:25ok
22:26so yeah
22:27it's only down the road
22:28I had a dream last night
22:29I went out for a pub tea
22:30with Nigel Farage
22:32because I was his mate
22:33and then I picked up the bill
22:35he said did I want to go out
22:37and I went
22:37no it's alright
22:38I'll get it
22:39Jesus
22:39what the hell
22:42good evening from Downing Street
22:44where the Prime Minister
22:45is vowing to fight on
22:47can you see
22:48Kea Curtin
22:49switching in the back
22:50get our TV
22:51what's she saying
22:54despite Labour
22:55suffering humiliating losses
22:56after elections
22:57in England
22:58Scotland
22:59and Wales
23:00this isn't a poll
23:01this is actually
23:02a true temperature check
23:03of what this nation
23:04is thinking and feeling
23:04right now
23:05and it ain't Labour
23:06just tell you one thing
23:07about local elections
23:08Mary
23:09is that people
23:09often vote in local elections
23:12in a reckless way
23:13that they wouldn't
23:14when it was actually
23:15the national elections
23:17because the local elections
23:19can be viewed
23:20as a protest vote
23:21I know that darling
23:22do you want me
23:24to mansplain any more
23:25no
23:26no okay
23:26Sir Keir Starmer
23:27said he would take
23:28responsibility
23:29for the painful results
23:30but that he wouldn't quit
23:32well who else
23:33could take responsibility
23:34the back's got
23:35to stop somewhere
23:36make me
23:36make me go
23:37make me go
23:39he's locked himself in
23:40but when he says
23:41he'll take responsibility
23:42what is that responsibility
23:43that he's going to take
23:44well he's the front man
23:46isn't he
23:46so he gets all shit
23:47it's like Gary Barlow
23:48yeah
23:49he's the Gary Barlow
23:50of the Labour Party
23:51Reform UK
23:52took hundreds of council seats
23:54in England
23:54from Labour
23:55yeah they've taken
23:56temps haven't they
23:57reform
23:58with a leader
23:59Nigel Farage
23:59saying it showed
24:00there was an historic
24:01shift away from
24:03the two main parties
24:04I think everybody
24:05wants to mix it up
24:06I'm just concerned
24:07about what we're
24:08mixing it up with
24:08exactly
24:09yesterday
24:10yesterday
24:11yesterday
24:11is the first time
24:12in my life
24:14that
24:14I hadn't made
24:16my mind up
24:16on who to vote for
24:18because I didn't
24:19I'm so disillusioned
24:23the jubilation
24:24was mainly measured
24:25in teal rosettes
24:26no I used to like teal
24:27until reform took over
24:29as reform surged
24:30from Hartlepool
24:32to Havering
24:33look at that swagger
24:34we like reform
24:35don't we
24:36we do
24:36I like Nigel Farage
24:37a lot of my friends
24:38think he's awful
24:39there's something
24:40that we can't deny
24:41is the amount of
24:42people voting
24:42for reform
24:44and whatever you
24:45think about them
24:46there's some appeal
24:46they're tapping
24:48into something
24:48even if I don't
24:50like it
24:51they're saying
24:52something that
24:53people want to hear
24:53do you know what
24:54I thought what I
24:55need to start doing
24:56is actually now
24:57my local councillor
24:59who is reform
25:00need to start
25:01emailing her
25:02complaining about
25:03all the dog shit
25:04on my path
25:04can we have
25:05another bin
25:06can we this
25:06can we that
25:07can we whatever
25:08and see if
25:09they're up to much
25:09exactly
25:10that's what it's about
25:11Labour
25:12not just being punished
25:13on their right
25:15but also by the Greens
25:16on their left
25:17look at all those
25:18moustaches in the Green Party
25:20mullets and moustaches
25:21all of them
25:22Greens are always hugging
25:24aren't they
25:25you don't see many
25:26reform people hugging
25:27no
25:27I don't think
25:28reform people
25:29like physical contact
25:30the voters have sent
25:32a message
25:32about the pace of change
25:34how they want
25:35their lives improved
25:36well they've sent a shot
25:38right across your bow
25:39aren't they
25:39sunshine
25:40I think a lot of
25:41Labour MPs think
25:42now that he's stark
25:43raping bonkers
25:44nothing
25:44do you think he's been
25:45replaced by an AI
25:47in a storm
25:47if he didn't sound like that
25:48I think a lot more people
25:49would like him
25:50if he's talked like this
25:51instead
25:51yeah
25:52he's got a distinguished
25:53face hasn't he
25:53yeah
25:54imagine that face
25:54sounding like
25:55I don't know
25:56Roger Moore
25:56or somebody like that
25:57I don't listen to
25:58what I say
25:59we're the most shallow
26:00voters ever
26:01aren't we
26:01yeah
26:02I was elected
26:03to meet those
26:04challenges
26:05and I'm not going
26:06to walk away
26:07from those challenges
26:08and plunge the country
26:10into chaos
26:10I mean it's already
26:11kind of in chaos
26:12mate to be honest
26:13have you not seen
26:14have you been out
26:15the house
26:16recently
26:17really we just need
26:18care to stay in charge
26:19until the end of the
26:20summer and then he
26:21can step down
26:22why till the end of
26:23summer
26:23because he said
26:24he'll let pubs
26:25stay open an extra
26:26two hours in the
26:27world cup
26:27poor
26:28care I'm very
26:29sorry for him
26:30because I don't
26:31think he means
26:32any harm
26:32I don't feel
26:33sorry for him
26:34the sooner he
26:35goes the better
26:36every time he
26:37steps out of his
26:38door people
26:39shout insults at
26:40him
26:40and he seems
26:41to be the only
26:42one that doesn't
26:42know it
26:43Giles I really
26:44think that with
26:45a couple of
26:45years to go
26:46till you're
26:46dead
26:46there is no
26:48point in you
26:48watching this
26:49stuff
26:52do you know
26:53I'm going to
26:54get all my
26:54bits done
26:55for my holidays
26:55you know
26:56all my legs
26:57best friends
26:58Jenny and
27:00Lee
27:00what I
27:01noticed the
27:01other day
27:02when I
27:03looked under
27:03my hands
27:04I ain't got
27:05no
27:05you're like a
27:06gorilla
27:06no
27:07I ain't got
27:08none
27:09I ain't got
27:10any hairs
27:10under my
27:11hands
27:11have you not
27:12no
27:12why
27:13I ain't
27:13used
27:14anything
27:14so you've
27:15got more
27:16on your
27:16chin than
27:16under your
27:17arms
27:18this week
27:19it was a
27:19new action
27:20packed drama
27:21that had us
27:21gripped on sky
27:22I feel like a
27:23prisoner in this
27:24house
27:24because whenever I
27:25leave it
27:26dad goes
27:26where you going
27:27I'm going out
27:28my friend
27:28which friend
27:29where you going
27:30what seems to be
27:31a common thing
27:32here is that it's
27:32me asking everyone
27:33where they're going
27:34yeah
27:34we can't ask you
27:35if we ask you
27:36the soon come
27:37that's not true
27:39yes it is
27:45I like a thriller
27:46I do
27:47looks all
27:47action this one
27:48you'd have done it
27:48you'd actually do
27:49well in prison
27:50because someone
27:51would take you
27:51under their wing
27:51as their bitch
27:52yeah so I'd be
27:53looked after
27:54yeah
27:55you can't really
27:56knock that can you
27:57no
27:57in the episode
27:58we joined a police
27:59briefing about
28:00taking down a
28:01crime boss
28:02putting Harrison
28:03Dempsey away
28:04is the only thing
28:05that anyone in this
28:06room cares about
28:06he's got that
28:07megamind situation
28:08going on
28:09yeah that's
28:10some big heads
28:10full of ideas
28:12and the success
28:13of a guilty verdict
28:14rests on the
28:14testimony of one
28:15man
28:15who
28:16who
28:16T-Bor Stone
28:17is the most
28:19precious asset
28:19we have
28:20so he's the snitch
28:21yeah huh
28:22and he's going to
28:22glass up his boss
28:23so we should expect
28:25that they will do
28:25anything to stop
28:26him taking that
28:27stand in four days
28:28time and I mean
28:29anything
28:30well yeah
28:31of course they will
28:31what they
28:32he's going to be
28:32like a hot potato
28:33this guy
28:33absolutely he does
28:35look like hot
28:35property doesn't he
28:36this looks marvellous
28:37doesn't it
28:38I love this pro
28:40come already
28:44warner gary
28:45category c
28:46transfer from
28:46stratton
28:47ah they transport
28:48the prisoners
28:49oh okay
28:50like to and from
28:51court
28:51yeah yeah yeah
28:53got a weird one
28:54for you
28:54our head office
28:55just had a call
28:55from the national
28:56crime unit
28:57they want us to
28:57make an additional
28:57pick up
28:58oh it's him
28:59it's that guy
29:00what's his name
29:01it's an overnight
29:02transfer
29:03under armed guard
29:04oh okay
29:05as soon as they say
29:06armed guard
29:07you've got to start
29:08thinking
29:08who the hell is it
29:10yeah yeah
29:11and what has he done
29:17oh look at this
29:18this is proper
29:19this is the safe
29:20house
29:20in the middle
29:21of nowhere
29:22also known as
29:23the grim house
29:23I was going to say
29:24well not likely
29:25here it comes
29:31god he looks like
29:32all right
29:32scary bastard
29:33doesn't he
29:33sexy
29:38binoculars
29:39pedro
29:40binoculars
29:41and fingerless
29:42gloves
29:42that means
29:43serious shit
29:47oh say
29:48that's the assassin
29:49then isn't it
29:49she's been hired
29:50by the mob
29:50I'm guessing
29:51yeah
29:51now they know
29:52he's on the road
29:52they've got him
29:54yeah
29:57oh god
29:58through a tunnel
29:59you don't want
30:00to go through
30:01a tunnel
30:05oh
30:06get lost
30:07this is a set up
30:08as soon as that
30:09happened I'd say
30:10do a ua
30:11back out
30:12yep
30:15something's off
30:16of course it is
30:17I can tell that
30:17from here
30:18they're like sitting
30:18dots right now
30:19do something
30:23oh
30:23oh
30:24oh it's a drone
30:25bloody drone
30:30oh
30:30ow
30:30oh shit
30:32hey
30:32it's a drone
30:34good
30:37oh
30:38get down
30:40oh no
30:43oh
30:44oh my god
30:46can a drone
30:46really do all of that
30:48apparently so
30:51open the door
30:53she can't open the door
30:55she's injured
30:56you silly
30:57get
31:00oh
31:00she's gonna
31:01open the door
31:02she's gonna go
31:02and open the door
31:03if I was there
31:04I'd just stay
31:04where I was
31:04wouldn't you
31:05if I had to be
31:05dead I would
31:06yeah
31:10yes
31:10cuffed him
31:11oh don't strap
31:12yourself to him
31:12you ninny
31:13why would you do
31:14that
31:14what are you doing
31:15so you can't run
31:16is she alright
31:17this is not the time
31:18who gives a fuck
31:19she's saying
31:20you so you can't run
31:21I'd have let him
31:21piss off
31:22wouldn't you
31:25oh no no no
31:26oh the old petrol's
31:28coming out
31:28yeah
31:30it's gonna go kaboomski
31:32this
31:36oh nice
31:37run
31:41that's that woman
31:41what woman
31:42oh the woman
31:43with the short hair
31:44that was looking
31:45through the binoculars
31:49you need to run
31:50faster than that
31:50I'm telling you man
31:51she's coming
31:54we've gotta get up
31:55this road
31:55oh how'd you get
31:56off of that road
31:57oh
31:57there's a river
31:58underneath so
31:59wait
31:59wait wait wait
32:00what are you doing
32:01oh fuck that
32:03no
32:03you can't jump
32:04in the water
32:07oh here she comes
32:08hurry hurry hurry
32:09quick
32:09oh my god
32:10okay
32:11just go
32:12just go
32:12come on
32:13come on
32:14get your ass
32:14over here
32:15ready
32:16wait
32:17wait
32:17wait
32:18wait
32:18wait
32:19oh
32:20yeah
32:20oh
32:22I don't know why
32:24Amber agreed to jump
32:25with him
32:25I don't think she had
32:26much choice
32:27you see people who are
32:28that invested in the job
32:29do frighten me a little bit
32:31you know
32:32I'm going to die
32:34because somebody's
32:35you know
32:35trying to get out of prison
32:36but I'll be opening the back door
32:37and go go on Tom
32:38off your foot
32:46in Leeds
32:47what have you been on this weekend
32:48because you've been really quiet
32:50well I was getting over the weekend
32:52so that you know came into it
32:54but I've been
32:55well I did my meal plan
32:56how do you stick to that
32:58I didn't
32:58I ordered Coco Pops
33:00best friends Danielle
33:01and Daniela
33:02that is literally like
33:04going to the supermarket
33:05buying all the healthy food
33:06avoiding the sweet aisle
33:07getting home
33:08and getting a takeaway
33:09yeah
33:10however
33:11I deleted my McDonald's app
33:13oh that's a bold move
33:14yeah
33:15after I went to the drive-thru
33:16and used all my points
33:17on a double cheeseburger
33:18and an apple pie
33:23your diets are my favourite
33:26you know if anybody says to me
33:27what type of diet do you want
33:28I'd be like Daniela's
33:31on Friday night
33:32Channel 4's starry-eyed singles
33:34were flirting up a storm again
33:36are you dating anyone Sean
33:38no
33:38are you seeing anyone
33:40no
33:40are you looking up with anyone
33:41no
33:42are you talking to anyone
33:43no
33:43you wouldn't tell us if you was
33:45would you
33:45no
33:46it's your wedding anniversary soon
33:47actually
33:4922nd of May
33:51isn't that Eva's birthday
33:53no
33:53it was his 27th of May
33:56right
33:56well then he had a couple of cards
34:02I think I might have been sober
34:04for my first date with Josh
34:06really
34:06I'm surprised he stuck around
34:07I'm boring when I'm sober
34:08no you had 12 Long Island iced teas
34:11didn't you
34:11that was when we got together again
34:13this is 26 year old electrician
34:15Jordan
34:16and his mum Kelly
34:18what
34:19he brought his mum along
34:20no
34:21I'd walk out the restaurant
34:22mum and son on a date
34:24that's disgusting
34:25no
34:25they're not dating each other
34:27nice to see you
34:28nice to meet you
34:29so what's happening here
34:31even Fred's freaked out
34:33is it father and daughter
34:35Fred trying to turn it off
34:36you two sisters
34:38first time doing this
34:40why
34:40it's just a nice thing to do
34:42isn't it
34:42it is
34:43yeah
34:43no
34:43no
34:44tell me what do you do for anything
34:46I'm a student at the moment
34:47in Bristol
34:48I'm studying forensic science
34:49is that Jordan's date
34:51don't tell me she brought a fucking dad
34:52oh she's lovely
34:53has she brought a dad
34:54are you ready for your date
34:55yes I am
34:56I am
34:57is he here
34:57yes
34:58so is your mother-in-law
35:01hi
35:01hiya
35:02hi
35:02Amy nice to meet you
35:03Jordan
35:04nice to meet you Jordan
35:05how are you
35:06you alright
35:06yeah I'm so good
35:07how are you
35:07good
35:07oh my god
35:08oh my god
35:09this is so awkward
35:10already
35:11already
35:12who's this lady
35:13she has no idea
35:14no
35:14introduce your mum
35:15introduce your mum
35:16what's the dynamic here
35:17sorry
35:18this is my mum
35:19I'm on a date as well
35:20oh are you
35:21there we go
35:23should have done that
35:24in the first place
35:25Jordan
35:25there you go
35:26it's broken the ice now
35:27that's better
35:29being he's the right man
35:30for the job
35:31is Carpenter John
35:32oh
35:34oh
35:35Carpenter John
35:36John
35:37John's a fitting
35:38I'm John
35:39hi John
35:40I'm Kelly
35:41nice to meet you
35:42and you
35:42well that's a good start
35:43they're both checking
35:43each other out there
35:44did you see that
35:45these actually make
35:46an arse couple
35:47you've got big arms
35:48yes
35:48must be arms
35:49yeah you are
35:50oh my god
35:51that's a compliment
35:52she
35:52Kelly's got bigger
35:53arms than John
35:54go for the full bingo
35:55carpenter
35:56she's got big thighs
35:57and all
35:57yeah
35:57thunder thigh
35:58it's lovely
35:59you've got a fat
36:00house
36:01that's nice
36:01thank you very much
36:02do you like guns
36:03with muscles
36:03yeah
36:04oh that's alright then
36:05oh she seems
36:06quite into it
36:06she's enjoyed it
36:07started showing off
36:08the guns
36:09what do you do
36:09I'm a carpenter
36:10okay
36:11I could wear my hands
36:12so you like to play
36:12with tools as well
36:13I've got tools
36:14oh I like
36:15that was flirty
36:17what about you
36:18I'm a dominatrix
36:22dominatrix
36:22dominatrix
36:22is that not an acrobat
36:24I had a boyfriend
36:24once who liked me
36:25to spank him
36:26with a frying pan
36:26for heaven's sake
36:27I do pegging
36:31excuse me
36:32what's pegging
36:33it's google it
36:36from what I believe
36:37it is
36:38it will involve
36:39some type of
36:40instrument
36:41and a buttocks
36:44okay alright
36:45moving on
36:45wait wait wait
36:46wait I mean
36:47the amount of money
36:49that I get paid
36:50per hour
36:51is quadruple
36:52what I was earning
36:54in the fitness industry
36:55to be fair
36:56Lee she's honest
36:58yeah she's honest
36:58because a lot of people
36:59wouldn't come out
37:00and say this on a first date
37:01it's relieved
37:02a lot of the
37:03anxiety and pressure
37:04that comes with
37:05being a single parent
37:06so if she were on
37:07minimum wage
37:07save for the fitness industry
37:09she's on nearly
37:1050 quid an hour
37:10pegging
37:11fucking hell
37:12might have to have
37:13a little career
37:14change myself
37:15like I'm okay
37:16with whatever you think
37:18it's fine
37:18you're supporting
37:19your family
37:20so
37:20why not
37:21but still
37:22even if he doesn't
37:24judge her harshly
37:25he probably won't
37:26want to date her
37:28because he'd be
37:29frightened of being
37:29manacled or pegged
37:31so then guys
37:32would you like
37:33to see one another again
37:35I'll go first
37:35if that's alright
37:36he's going to say yes
37:37if he's going first
37:38he's going to say yes
37:38come on John
37:39I take the respect
37:40of what you do
37:40and everything
37:41I think you're gorgeous
37:41I would definitely
37:42say yes
37:43oh he didn't
37:43mince his words
37:44either did he
37:44he was like
37:45bam bam bam bam
37:46bam
37:46absolutely
37:46I like that
37:48isn't that sweet
37:49Nassie
37:50isn't it sweet
37:51yeah I'd like to
37:53go on another date
37:54again
37:55and see
37:56just see where it went
37:56it's a double yes
37:57oh
37:58oh we were totally wrong
38:00we've done nothing
38:02that's off to it
38:03you know
38:03you do what you need to do
38:04to provide for your family
38:06you know
38:07I'd be a dominatrix
38:08if I needed to be
38:09yeah
38:09you'd peg someone
38:10if the kids needed feeding
38:12fucking absolutely
38:16you'd be out
38:17bagging with the rest of them
38:18they call me
38:19baggy Mitchell
38:23in Wiltshire
38:24these steaks were advertised
38:26ask at the butcher's
38:27counter
38:28for their steaks
38:29Mary
38:29half price
38:30why do you have to
38:31bring steaks out
38:32in this room
38:33Giles and his wife
38:34Mary
38:35okay
38:35shall I put my
38:36initial on it
38:37absolutely not
38:38that's the daddy steak
38:39that's the biggest one
38:40that's the mummy steak
38:42the second biggest one
38:43and the daughter
38:44will have the smallest
38:45steak Mary
38:46yeah it's time
38:47you grew up Charles
38:49yeah I'm just
38:50right I'm going to
38:50write my initials
38:51don't for God's sake
38:52don't
38:53my initials
38:54on my steak
38:55nobody will notice
38:56even if you do
38:57write them on
38:57G
38:57I'm going to write it
38:59in the fat Mary
39:00just so there's no
39:03quibble
39:04it's a no quibble
39:06guarantee
39:06that I get
39:07my own steak
39:09do you want me to
39:09write M on yours
39:10absolutely not
39:11M
39:12stop it
39:13on Monday
39:14it was manoeuvres
39:15at number 10
39:16that were making
39:17the headlines
39:18on the BBC
39:19it's interesting times
39:20Tracer
39:21that's an understatement
39:22countries upside down
39:24and back to front
39:25and turned inside out
39:26that's true
39:27I need some popcorn
39:28for this
39:29let's see the end
39:30of an era
39:30nothing
39:32what are you talking
39:33what are you talking about
39:34Starmer
39:34oh
39:35the Prime Minister
39:36has insisted
39:37he will not walk away
39:38despite the disastrous
39:39election results
39:40last week
39:41he's not going
39:41there kicking and screaming
39:42he's hanging on
39:43tooth and nail
39:44but more than 50
39:45Labour MPs
39:46have now called
39:47for him to go
39:48or to set a date
39:49to leave
39:49I give you an end
39:50of the week
39:51imagine being at work
39:52and being
39:53told to quit
39:54by everybody
39:55and going no
39:57you need to quit
39:58get out
39:59Sakia says
39:59he's proved
40:00his doubters
40:01wrong in the past
40:02and will do so again
40:03he's a stubborn
40:04bugger isn't he
40:04well
40:05you can't just
40:06have somebody
40:07that's going to
40:07roll over
40:08can you
40:08and I suppose
40:09if anything
40:10it's showing
40:10he's got integrity
40:11exactly
40:12that's what I think
40:13in a crucial speech
40:14this morning
40:15he admitted
40:16his government
40:16had made mistakes
40:17but said he'd got
40:18the big political
40:19choices right
40:20which big political
40:21choices did he get
40:22right
40:22by not joining
40:23the Americans
40:24yeah give him that
40:25give him that
40:26actually
40:26in that fight
40:27against Iran
40:28I mean the one
40:28thing is I would
40:29say is there's a
40:30humility to him
40:31that I quite like
40:32he does at least
40:33say that people
40:35are I get it
40:36I get it
40:36and what are the
40:37actual options
40:38I get it
40:39you've been saying
40:40that for years
40:41Keir
40:41you don't get it
40:42otherwise you would
40:42have got it
40:43long ago mate
40:44I feel it
40:46and I take
40:47responsibility
40:48it's just a load
40:49of bull isn't it
40:49it's all words
40:50that's the annoying
40:51thing for me
40:52I know I have
40:53my doubters
40:54doubters
40:55it's not doubters
40:55we're not doubting
40:57you
40:57we're certain
40:59we're certain
40:59that you're rubbish
41:00I won't be able
41:01to handle that
41:02pressure
41:02what Keir Starmer's
41:03under I'd have
41:04thrown in towel
41:05I'd quit jobs
41:06for much less
41:07you have for much
41:07much less
41:08and I know I need
41:09to prove them wrong
41:10and I will
41:11no you won't be able
41:12to because we
41:14already know you've
41:15cocked up
41:16it's like an ex
41:17begging into it
41:17I just want one more
41:19chance
41:19just one more
41:20I'll do anything
41:21I'll change
41:22so Keir Starmer's
41:24back against the wall
41:25he was noticeably
41:26more angry
41:27more passionate
41:28than we often see him
41:29the blazer's off
41:30he's got no tie on
41:31either
41:31the blazer's off
41:32the button's under
41:33and he's ready
41:34to box the nation
41:35yeah
41:35I am their prime minister
41:38and this is their government
41:40a little bit of emotion
41:41there
41:41yeah
41:42no good bit of emotion
41:43slightly arousing
41:44not arousing
41:45rousing
41:47really darling
41:48it was slightly rousing
41:49not arousing
41:50the conversations
41:51about the prime minister's
41:53possible successes
41:54are still feverish
41:55there's the mayor
41:56of Greater Manchester
41:57Andy Burnham
41:58Andy Burnham can't
41:59because he's not an MP
41:59he's doing an alright
42:00job as a mayor
42:01we'd lose that
42:01for him to be
42:02the prime minister
42:03so leave him with Manchester
42:04he's alright for a minute
42:05then there's the former
42:06deputy prime minister
42:07Angela Rayner
42:08no we're not having air
42:09the sea vultures
42:10circling round there
42:11praying there
42:12yeah
42:12Angela Rayner
42:14and Andy Burnham
42:15he's thinking
42:16I'll put the knives out
42:17of my back
42:17when I get home
42:19then there is
42:19the health secretary
42:20Wes Streeting
42:21whose supporters
42:22would prefer things
42:23to move quickly
42:24before Andy Burnham
42:25can find himself a seat
42:26well Andy Burnham
42:28has a proven record
42:30of competence
42:31you see
42:31with Manchester
42:33so it would be good
42:34but also
42:35Wes
42:36has a very good
42:37sense of humour
42:38and he's
42:39not that
42:41incompetent
42:42and all afternoon
42:43here
42:43one after another
42:45yet more
42:46Labour MPs
42:47saying the prime minister
42:48has to go
42:50Jesus
42:50they're all jumping
42:51on the bandwagon
42:51now aren't they
42:52I just think
42:53all these lot
42:54that think that
42:54Keir Starmer's
42:55going to throw
42:55his towel
42:56a pissing in wind
42:58because he ain't
42:59going to go
42:59he's not going down
43:00without a fight
43:01no he ain't is he
43:02he was fighting
43:02for his life
43:03out there
43:03today
43:04do you remember
43:04that poster
43:05that was like
43:06in the 90s
43:06it was everywhere
43:07it was just like
43:07hang in there
43:08and a cat
43:09on a washing line
43:10yeah
43:10how long can he
43:11cling on for
43:12I feel like that's
43:12Keir Starmer
43:13right now
43:14do you know who I think
43:15could be a good
43:15new prime minister
43:17you know
43:17and I know I'm a little
43:18bit biased
43:18when I say this
43:19but Nitro
43:21from Gladiators
43:22because he's tough
43:23and he's strong
43:24to put up with
43:25any shit
43:25off anybody
43:26yeah but he's
43:27also got it
43:27all up here
43:28he's got it
43:28all sussed out
43:29he probably doesn't
43:30know anything
43:30about economics
43:31don't need to
43:33do you
43:33these have
43:33proved that
43:44the US has
43:45finally said
43:46I do to the
43:46marital maelstrom
43:47of maths on E4
43:48starting Monday
43:49at 8 with friends
43:50and family
43:50grilling on
43:51overdrive
43:51channel 4 is here
43:52for major new
43:53drama with
43:54Keely Horse
43:54and Papa
43:55Asibu craving
43:55the tender
43:56and the taboo
43:57falling begins
43:58Tuesday night
43:59at 9
43:59more faithful
44:00flirting's up next
44:01in brand new
44:02first dates
44:02perfect
44:04perfect
44:06perfect
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