- 3 hours ago
Gogglebox (2013) Season 27 Episode 15
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00:00What do you think to my new dining chairs?
00:03Look!
00:04I've only been waiting for new dining chairs since 2019.
00:08Oh, my God.
00:10Look at that.
00:12Are you ready for this?
00:13Comfort.
00:16Oh, my God.
00:18I'm swivelling.
00:20Now I'm watching telly.
00:22Now I'm getting the remote.
00:23I'm swivelling back to the telly.
00:25I'm putting the remote down.
00:27Now I'm going to go look out the window.
00:29Oh, my God.
00:30You are living in 2081.
00:37Have you ever done it like that?
00:39Well, I have to tell you what they had.
00:43Oh, Barcelona.
00:46No, I don't like that.
00:47This guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:49A what?
00:50Foot fetish.
00:51I had no idea that was a thing.
00:53Remove my britches.
00:54Expose your loins.
00:55I like that.
00:56Oh!
00:57Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
00:59Oh, Ronnie.
01:00This is weird.
01:01Gee, he's a mercy bugger, isn't he?
01:03This is why I don't eat.
01:04That is Dyson with the devil.
01:06Oh, no.
01:07He suffers for his heart, doesn't he?
01:09Clearly.
01:09A Bentley Continental!
01:12I think I'd rather call it a day now, say, wouldn't you?
01:14Who's been arrested now and for what?
01:18What?
01:18In the week by George sang for San Marino in the Eurovision semis, we enjoyed lots of great
01:25telly.
01:26There was more drama from Downing Street dominating the headlines.
01:30The Prime Minister arrived here, his job on the line.
01:35Some in his party have fretted he's not up to it for months.
01:39They are out to destroy a once great country.
01:43You think he's taking the job as PM in order to destroy it?
01:46Destroy it, yeah.
01:47What?
01:48You think he's pretending?
01:50Probably in league with the World Economic Forum and Klaus Schwab.
01:54Oh, Charles, you do sound like a nutter.
01:57It was the party of all parties for a national treasure on BBC One.
02:02And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
02:09The world doesn't look like that now.
02:11It's got Walker's crisps all over the floor.
02:23It's sad.
02:24And they were desperately seeking some romance on Channel 4.
02:29My parents are both romantic.
02:30But the relationship with my mum, when it comes to dating and love, is really special.
02:36You see, it's weird, isn't it?
02:37You know, when love's first bud, it's like a flower, isn't it, love?
02:42When you think about it.
02:43You know, your first date is like the shoot where it just comes out.
02:46And then, as time progresses, it gets nice and expands and the love gets bigger.
02:52And then, ultimately, it dies.
03:03In Wiltshire...
03:05Oh, don't make yourself unattractive to me. Let me hold one.
03:09These are the first vegetables of the season, Mary.
03:12Let me hold one.
03:13Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:15One big one for Daddy.
03:17Right.
03:17One smaller one for Mummy.
03:19OK, I'm leaving. I'm off.
03:20No, don't spoil the...
03:22Let me hold it, then.
03:23Don't spoil the moment, Nutty.
03:25Let this be a happy family moment.
03:28On Friday, Channel 4 had us counting down to the weekend.
03:32Right, come on, Ellie. Look alive.
03:36Oxygenate the brain.
03:37Calm down reminds me of getting off the school bus,
03:41going to me gran and grandad's, having tea and watching the telly.
03:50Concentrate, Martha.
03:52We're going to have a child genius on our hands if we keep this up.
03:55It's the most middle-aged shit I've ever seen.
03:59Already five octal chants have been crowned,
04:02could be six by the end of today's show.
04:04Ooh, excitement.
04:05The tension.
04:06Re-introduced, for the last time for now,
04:09our champion Patrick Thompson.
04:11We've got the champion on with a face like a smacked arse.
04:14Patrick looks like my tone of voice.
04:16You're up against Simon Randall.
04:19Oh, my life, it's my friend Simon Randall!
04:21No, it's not!
04:23It is!
04:24Get out!
04:26Come on, Simon!
04:29Consonant, please.
04:30Start today with R.
04:32Away we go.
04:33Right.
04:34Oh, she's loving it.
04:35And another...
04:37H.
04:38So what's happening here?
04:40Right, are you...
04:41For someone that watched it every night till your gran and grandas,
04:44you weren't f***ing watching, were you?
04:45I wasn't watching, I was listening.
04:46And another...
04:48U.
04:49What was yours?
04:50Ooh, yeah.
04:50She's trying to tell you.
04:52And another...
04:53N.
04:54Ooh!
04:55Phenomenon.
04:56That was not M.
04:59Phone!
05:01Phone!
05:02Phone!
05:02Oh, yeah!
05:03Phone!
05:07For...
05:07...f...
05:08...f...
05:09...f...
05:09...in...
05:10Neon!
05:12I know.
05:13For...
05:13No, not even do that.
05:15In my defence, English is, like, our third language.
05:20F**k me, this is horrible. Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute.
05:24Parody, my favourite. Parody. Phone. Phone.
05:29PHONED.
05:35I've got nothing. iPhone.
05:39Patrick. Seven. He's got a seven out of that.
05:42Oh, well, he would smart bastard. Patrick got a seven.
05:46Simon. Seven as well. He's got a seven as well. We've got a jewel.
05:50Excellent stuff. Patrick. Phonia. Phonia? Phonia?
05:53There's no F. And for you, Simon. Yep, the same.
05:58Get in! What's phonia? Like a phobia. He said phonia.
06:05Yeah, so you're scared of phones. You've got phonia.
06:09That's like when you've got two phones. One of them looks quite a bit like a phone,
06:14but the other one's just a bit more phonia.
06:17Oh, shit. There's your phonia.
06:21Oh, it's there, Kaz.
06:22Consonant, please, Rachel. Thank you, Patrick.
06:25L. L. Here we go.
06:27And another.
06:28E. Lapis lazuli.
06:31Lee. Oh, yeah, it's got Lee, yeah.
06:35Consonant, please. P.
06:36Pens. Pens. Penis.
06:39Mary.
06:40Penis.
06:41Inconsonant.
06:42Mother.
06:50O. P. E. N. E. S.
06:54Oh, God.
06:59Penis it is then.
07:00She's trying to tell us the answer here. You're not listening.
07:03She's saying penises as well, is she?
07:06Mother.
07:06That's going to be her first word.
07:07Shoot up it.
07:08Patrick, please say penis.
07:10Eight.
07:11Eight.
07:12From what?
07:13And for you, Simon?
07:15Just seven.
07:16Just a seven?
07:17Oh, Simon's got a seven, Jane.
07:19What's the seven?
07:20Pennies.
07:20Pennies. Very good.
07:22And the pennies dropped for Patrick.
07:24Pencione.
07:25Is that Italian for penis?
07:27What's that, an Indian dish?
07:29Pencione.
07:29Oh, no, I'm thinking of Peshwari.
07:31Oh, nice.
07:32Patrick, though.
07:33Brilliant on the conundrums.
07:35Oh, the conundrum.
07:36The conundrum.
07:37I can't even say it.
07:39Sometimes it comes to me in a flash.
07:42It does.
07:43Let's find out and reveal Friday's countdown conundrum.
07:49Oh, what?
07:50The clock didn't even start.
07:51That is mental, that.
07:54Resembled.
07:55Let's have a look.
07:57Duh.
07:58How?
07:58Shut up.
08:00Unbelievable.
08:01Patrick Thompson.
08:03Look at the clock.
08:05Yeah.
08:06Will you text, Simon?
08:08Have you got Simon's text number?
08:09Will you contact me?
08:10Yeah.
08:11I saw you.
08:12I messaged you.
08:13I saw you on countdown, Simon.
08:19In Leeds.
08:20Right.
08:21What do you want?
08:22Crisp-wise.
08:23Smokey bacon.
08:24Roast chicken.
08:25Cheese and onion.
08:26Beef hula's.
08:27Prawn cocktail.
08:28Already salted.
08:30Smokey bacon, please.
08:32Wait till you see this.
08:34Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:36So, I've done us a bread cake each.
08:39Half way for thin ham, half way for thin chicken.
08:42Get fucked fudge.
08:43Then a cheeky half.
08:45Oooh.
08:47Lashings of butter.
08:49Yeah, but Izzy.
08:50Oh my God.
08:51I had boiled eggs and soul just before I came round here.
08:54I was absolutely stuffed.
08:56Really?
08:57Do you think...
08:58Save it for later.
08:59Put in boiled.
08:59Check it home.
09:02Or just force it in and pog yourself.
09:06Also an option.
09:07Yeah.
09:07Yeah.
09:08On Monday, Rav and the team were fighting crime online again on BBC One.
09:14Oh no, do you need to get out because you want to watch Scam Interceptors?
09:17Let's see how we can fraud people.
09:20No, it's how you can protect yourself from baddies.
09:22Yeah, protect people.
09:24Yeah.
09:27The only thing I think you should be aware of is if it sounds too good to be true, it
09:34usually
09:35isn't.
09:36Do you not understand that?
09:38Yeah, you just contradict...
09:39If it sounds too good to be true...
09:41Then it is too good to be true.
09:44Yes.
09:45You just said it isn't.
09:46It isn't true.
09:47The suspected Scammer...
09:49Yeah, that's not...
09:49If it sounds too good to be true, then it is too good to be true.
09:55To be true.
09:55That's it.
09:57Glad you're not dishing out too much advice.
09:59You get people all over the shop.
10:02Has you ever been a loyal customer to the sky for so long, a long time?
10:05To the sky.
10:07The company has decided to give you back your one-year-long return money.
10:10Oh my God!
10:11I had this happen to me!
10:13As if I'd be like, don't lie to me.
10:16Oh, yeah.
10:17No one gives you any feedback because you've been a good customer, do they?
10:21You've just found more remote access on someone else's device.
10:23Different scam, now sky impersonation it seems.
10:26Oh, Rav's looking extra dish here.
10:28I like how he's gelled his hair today.
10:29And that might pull her.
10:31And in this case, we can see that he's got remote access to this man's mobile phone.
10:35Talk us through it, curtains.
10:36On the right-hand side of the screen.
10:38And then on the left, he's currently signing them up for online banking.
10:41Oh my God.
10:42No, that's quite scary.
10:43This is a really complex operation.
10:45Like, he's got him to download software.
10:48You've got no chance in that.
10:50To remote on.
10:51It's a big amount of money.
10:53£498, all in total.
10:55You are going to get from Sky.
10:57Sky would never do that.
10:59He used to work for them, yeah.
11:00I worked for them for six months before they felt they'd seen enough of me.
11:04You got their debit card with you, am I correct?
11:07Oh, debit card, no protection.
11:08We need your number, we need your PIN code.
11:12Oh, yes.
11:13The man is told to place his card in front of his phone camera.
11:17That's so they can capture a picture of the card and use it again on somewhere else.
11:22Thanks to ethical hacker Agent G9.
11:24Sorry, what?
11:25What the fuck?
11:27We now know the man's name, his mobile number and postcode.
11:32Oh, brilliant.
11:33But remember, they can't ring him.
11:34Yeah.
11:35They've now got to get someone round there quick.
11:37Yeah.
11:38To protect his identity, we'll call him John.
11:41John.
11:41Poor John's going to get scammed.
11:43He tells John to check his TV.
11:46While he does that, the scammer steals his money.
11:50No.
11:52Sending £500.
11:54He's taking £500 out of his account.
11:56Oh, my God.
11:57Transfer created.
11:59He's doing another transaction now, another £498.
12:02He's doing it again.
12:03And interceptor Alice makes a breakthrough.
12:06Oh, come on, Alice.
12:08She finds the telephone number of a neighbour.
12:12Hallelujah.
12:13Yeah, that was good.
12:15That's brilliant, that is.
12:18First transfer's done.
12:19Hello?
12:20Oh, oh.
12:21Sorry to call you.
12:21Marine, Marine.
12:23There is someone, I believe, a couple of doors down from your road,
12:27who is actually in the process of being scammed.
12:30Oh, could you imagine getting that phone call?
12:32I'd be like, this sounds like a scam.
12:33What do you mean?
12:34I'd go to the dorm room.
12:35I literally just need a knock on the door and to say,
12:38please get off the phone.
12:40You are talking to a scammer.
12:41Come on, lady.
12:42I can phone him and speak to him and explain what's going on.
12:45OK, then.
12:46Oh, she's a good lass, isn't she?
12:47Well, you'd do that straight away, wouldn't you?
12:49Oh, I got a trick.
12:50What's happened?
12:52Is this it?
12:53I think she's there.
12:54She's there.
12:55She's on the door.
12:57Oh.
12:57You don't need to open the door right now,
12:59because the internet work is going on right now.
13:01Oh, you cheeky bugger.
13:03Whoa.
13:04Internet work is going on right now.
13:06No, no, no, no, no, Mr Scammer.
13:09Someone's here.
13:11Hello?
13:12Hello?
13:14John?
13:14Enjoy you there, John.
13:17The call ended.
13:18Oh!
13:20Oh!
13:22That's a result.
13:23Get ready to meet.
13:25Yeah?
13:26This is Rav Wilding from the Scam Interceptor programme.
13:29Oh, this is Rav from the BBC, yeah?
13:32I sent your neighbour to your house.
13:35Are you OK?
13:37What the **** going on?
13:39Oh, he's so distressed.
13:41I need to reach out to Rav Wilding, some arsehole.
13:44As cloned my card details.
13:47You're joking.
13:48I spent 140 quid on my card.
13:49Shit.
13:50But the best bit was the bank were going,
13:52are you sure you've not spent this money?
13:54Yeah.
13:55I'm sure.
13:55Do you even know who I am?
13:58I wouldn't spend 140 quid on anything.
14:08The best thing I've ever bought Josh with is barbecue.
14:11You have them every night, don't you?
14:13Every night.
14:14Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
14:17It's a plug-in barbecue.
14:18I know, but why are you not just cooping indoors until it gets sunny outside?
14:21Because I don't like the smell of food.
14:25So any smell of meat is outside, wafting away in the wind.
14:31Josh loves it.
14:33He says every day, I love this barbecue.
14:37It's a wood fire barbecue.
14:39What if you wanted rice?
14:41I've also got a microwave.
14:44So you don't put everything on the barbecue?
14:46No, I don't cook fucking rice on the barbecue.
14:50What?
14:52On Friday night, the whole nation settled in to celebrate a remarkable milestone birthday.
14:59Oh, celebration drink.
15:01It is.
15:02But it looks like wallpaper paste.
15:04Pina colada, innit?
15:06Yeah.
15:06And it tastes like wallpaper paste.
15:08Cheers, Sir David.
15:09Oh, no.
15:10Probably.
15:11Cheers, Sir David.
15:12Happy 100th birthday.
15:14Yeah.
15:15Hello and welcome to London's Royal Albert Hall.
15:18Oh, look.
15:18Oh, look at that.
15:20Isn't that nice?
15:21Tonight, we have a very special evening of music and celebration in store.
15:26Do they not realise that we can see them operating?
15:29No.
15:29And tonight is all about celebrating the incredible life of the one and only Sir David Attenborough.
15:36To me, David Attenborough is the male version of the Queen.
15:39I think of, you know, I'm proud to be British when I think of David Attenborough.
15:46When I think of him...
15:48Yes.
15:48Steady.
15:49No.
15:50He's just so perfect and admirable.
15:54Unlike your miserable husband.
15:59You know you've got a few good things about you, Nutty.
16:02Oh, thanks for that, Mary.
16:06I think David Attenborough is the only person all us British people can agree on.
16:11It is a national treasure.
16:13He is.
16:14If he can't have haters, I refuse to believe he has a hater.
16:17There was no expense spared as an old pal of David's shared some special memories.
16:23Dear David.
16:24Oh, an actual letter.
16:27It is amazing to think that you and I have known one another for more than 60 years.
16:33More than 60 years? They're like BFFs.
16:36Indeed, I believe we first met in 1958.
16:40What?
16:41Almost a decade before the age of colour television.
16:45Look at King Charles looking at it.
16:46Where's King Charles?
16:48Yeah.
16:48Anne Anne.
16:49Princess Anne.
16:50Oh, who's David Attenborough?
16:51Dave.
16:52Oh, Willow.
16:53Not the bloody parrot.
16:54You have shared my determination to highlight the urgent need to protect and preserve this precious planet of ours.
17:07I'm going to cry.
17:08Are you going to cry?
17:09I don't know why.
17:10Yeah, he's really, really added to my life.
17:13I feel like I want to be friends with David and King Charles.
17:17You've missed the boat now.
17:19They've got their small circle.
17:21Thank you, then, for all that you have done.
17:24And on behalf of the whole nation, I wish you a very happy 100th birthday.
17:35Oh.
17:37What's going on?
17:38What's going on?
17:39There's a tree down.
17:41Oh, stop it.
17:43Oh, my God.
17:43Stop it.
17:44Here we go.
17:45We've got a border collie with a letter in its mouth, Ace.
17:48Today, this could be.
17:50Oh.
17:52How have they taught that dog to deliver miles?
17:56Well, it's only fitting an animal should deliver it anyway.
18:00I know.
18:00I know, yeah.
18:01Yeah.
18:01Huh?
18:01Before we run out of time, stay close to me.
18:07No way!
18:08He's going to take it from the dog's mouth.
18:11Is this for your life?
18:13Stay close to me, watch the world.
18:18Oh, Christ, where's it going now?
18:22Oh!
18:23It's stuck in the head jog!
18:25I thought I was going to cut the head jog in half.
18:30Squirrel's in on it now.
18:32Red squirrel.
18:33Not great.
18:34Oh, they've all come out to take his cat.
18:37Jenny, it's not fucking real.
18:45Bloody hell.
18:46It's amazing, isn't it?
18:50Hi, I don't think it's actually happening, my love.
18:53Well, don't burst my bubble up.
18:56F***ing hell.
19:03I wonder if this is Sir David's actual house.
19:06Very touch.
19:08Snare we all.
19:09I wonder who brought this up.
19:13Oh, he's got it in his hand!
19:17How good does he look for a hundred?
19:19Well, he doesn't he look amazing?
19:21He looks really good.
19:25That's right.
19:29Oh my God, we get to sing, we get to be a part of singing Happy Birthday David Attenborough.
19:34Happy Birthday to you.
19:50I'd have gone with Stevie Wonder option if it were made.
19:55Oh, look at his little face.
19:57He looks genuinely happy, doesn't he?
20:01Look at those people with their nice faces.
20:05Are you finished? Yeah.
20:07What are you crying for again?
20:09I know, I can't. I think it's real emotional.
20:11That's probably the most epic birthday shout-out ever.
20:16Ever. Yeah.
20:18Later, it only seemed right to hear from Sir David himself.
20:24I see trees of green.
20:28Red roses, too.
20:31I see them bloom.
20:33Hang on, this is a song, Mary. I know.
20:35What's the song?
20:37What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.
20:39By Louis Armstrong.
20:40And I think to myself...
20:43Stop it!
20:45What a wonderful world.
20:47It is a wonderful world when you look at the beauty, isn't it?
20:50That's because you're in it, David. That's why.
20:54I see skies of blue.
20:57Clouds of white.
20:59I've got goosebumps.
21:01Bright, blessed days.
21:04Oh, I'm in babies. I can't stop crying.
21:06And I think to myself...
21:11What a wonderful world.
21:14What a wonderful world.
21:17What a wonderful world.
21:17Mm-hmm, plot it.
21:19The colours of a rainbow, so pretty in the sky...
21:27..are also on the faces of people going by.
21:32Right, come on, pull yourself together.
21:35The glasses are steamed up underneath me windscreen wipers.
21:38I never want to hear another version of this song again.
21:40No, I agree, actually.
21:42This is the version that lives on forever now.
21:45I hear babies cry.
21:49I watch them grow.
21:51Oh, it is beautiful, isn't it?
21:54It really is. Look.
21:56So, David is so nice, because in a shit world,
22:00he reminds you there are pockets of beautiful that still exist.
22:03Yeah.
22:04Quite simply, wonderful.
22:09I mean, what a legacy, David Attenborough.
22:13I mean, he hasn't got a legacy.
22:15He is a legacy.
22:17What do you think we're going to be remembered for?
22:21Caravans and chickens.
22:23Spam sarnies.
22:24Spam sandwiches.
22:25I could do you a nice montage for your birthday.
22:30What you've done in your life.
22:31I haven't done much, Lee.
22:32I know, it won't be long.
22:34No.
22:34I don't think David realises what he's actually added to the world.
22:38He's learnt me so much.
22:40And me.
22:49If Aston Villa are in the top four of the league.
22:54No, top five.
22:55Top five of the league.
22:59Or they win this cup match that they're doing.
23:03Yes, the UEFA Cup.
23:05That's the one.
23:05Teresa and her wife Anita.
23:08Then that means that next series?
23:12Season.
23:12Season.
23:13They will be in the Champions League.
23:17Champions League, yes.
23:18And they play other teams around the world.
23:22Yeah, around Europe, yeah.
23:23Europe, okay.
23:25Okay.
23:25Right.
23:26Okay.
23:27Well done.
23:28I'm impressed.
23:29Yeah.
23:29Well, I'm just trying to work out, you see, whether I want them to lose so that they
23:35don't play so many games next year so I don't have to sit here and endure so many matches.
23:41But if they lose, then you're going to be a bit sad.
23:45You.
23:46I can't even believe you're thinking that.
23:51On Friday night, the political popularity contest was making the headlines and ITV was
23:57outside number 10 with the latest update.
24:00Did you vote, Jane?
24:01I did vote, Simon.
24:02Well done you.
24:03Did you vote in person or postal?
24:05In person.
24:06Did you?
24:06Yes, I don't like postal.
24:08Okay.
24:09So, yeah, it's only down the road.
24:10I had a dream last night.
24:12I went out for a pub tea with Nigel Farage, because I was his mate.
24:16And then I picked up the bill.
24:18He said, did I want to go out?
24:19And I went, no, it's all right.
24:21I'll get it.
24:22Jesus.
24:23What the hell?
24:26Good evening from Downing Street, where the Prime Minister is vowing to fight on.
24:30Can you see Kea Curtin switching in the back?
24:34Get our TV off.
24:35What's she saying?
24:38Despite Labour suffering humiliating losses after elections in England, Scotland and Wales.
24:44This isn't a poll.
24:45This is actually a true temperature check of what this nation is thinking and feeling right
24:49now.
24:49And it ain't Labour.
24:50I'll just tell you one thing about local elections, Mary, is that people often vote
24:55in local elections in a reckless way that they wouldn't when it was actually the national
25:02elections, because the local elections can be viewed as a protest vote.
25:06I know that, darling.
25:08Do you want me to mansplain any more?
25:11No.
25:11No, okay.
25:12Sir Keir Starmer said he would take responsibility for the painful results, but that he wouldn't
25:17quit.
25:17Well, who else could take responsibility?
25:19The back's got to stop somewhere.
25:22Make me.
25:22Make me go.
25:23Make me go.
25:25He's locked himself in.
25:26But when he says he'll take responsibility, what is that responsibility that he's going
25:30to take?
25:31Well, he's the front man, isn't he?
25:32So he gets all shit.
25:34It's like Gary Barlow.
25:35Yeah.
25:36He's the Gary Barlow of the Labour Party.
25:38Reform UK took hundreds of council seats in England from Labour.
25:42They've taken temps, haven't they?
25:44Reform.
25:45The leader Nigel Farage saying it showed there was an historic shift away from the two main
25:50parties.
25:51I think everybody wants to mix it up.
25:54I'm just concerned about what we're mixing it up with.
25:56Exactly.
25:57Yesterday is the first time in my life that I hadn't made my mind up on who to vote for.
26:06Because I didn't, I'm so disillusioned.
26:11The jubilation was mainly measured in teal rosettes.
26:14You know, I used to like teal, until reform took over.
26:17As reform surged from Hartlepool to Havering.
26:22Look at that swagger.
26:23We like reform, don't we?
26:24We do.
26:25I like Nigel Farage.
26:26A lot of my friends think he's awful.
26:28There's something that we can't deny is the amount of people voting for reform.
26:33And whatever you think about them, there's some appeal.
26:36They're tapping into something.
26:38Even if I don't like it, they're saying something that people want to hear.
26:43Do you know what?
26:44I thought what I need to start doing is, actually now, my local councillor, who is reform, need to start
26:51emailing her.
26:52Complaining about all the dog shit on my path.
26:55Can we have another bin?
26:56Can we this?
26:57Can we that?
26:57Can we whatever?
26:58And see if they're up to much.
27:00Exactly.
27:01That's what it's about.
27:02Labour not just being punished on their right, but also by the Greens on their left.
27:08Look at all those moustaches in the Green Party.
27:11Mullets and moustaches, all of them.
27:13Greens are always hugging, aren't they?
27:16You don't see many reform people hugging.
27:19No.
27:19I don't think reform people like physical contact.
27:22The voters have sent a message about the pace of change, how they want their lives improved.
27:28Well, they've sent a shot right across your bow, aren't they, sunshine?
27:32I think a lot of Labour MPs think now that he's stark raving bonkers, Natty.
27:37Do you think he's been replaced by an AI?
27:39You know, Stormer, if he didn't sound like that, I think a lot more people would like him.
27:43If he's talked like this instead.
27:44Yeah.
27:44He's got a distinguished face, hasn't he?
27:46Yeah.
27:46Imagine that face sounding like, I don't know, Roger Moore or somebody like that.
27:50I'd listen to what I'd say.
27:52We're the most shallow voters ever, aren't we?
27:55I was elected to meet those challenges and I'm not going to walk away from those challenges
28:01and plunge the country into chaos.
28:04I mean, it's already kind of in chaos, mate, to be honest.
28:07Have you not seen...
28:08Have you been out the house recently?
28:11Really, we just need Keir to stay in charge until the end of the summer and then he can step
28:15down.
28:15Why till the end of summer?
28:18Cos he said he'll let pubs stay open an extra two hours in the World Cup.
28:21Poor Keir, I'm very sorry for him.
28:25Cos I don't think he means any harm.
28:27I don't feel sorry for him.
28:29The sooner he goes, the better.
28:31Every time he steps out of his door, people shout insults at him.
28:35All right.
28:36And he seems to be the only one that doesn't know it.
28:38Gels, I really think that with a couple of years to go till you're dead,
28:42there is no point in you watching this stuff.
28:47In Hall...
28:48Do you know, Lee, I'm going to get all my bits done for my holidays.
28:51You know, all my legs.
28:53Yes.
28:54Best friends Jenny and Lee.
28:56What I noticed the other day, when I looked under my arms,
29:01I hadn't got no legs.
29:02You're like a gorilla.
29:02No.
29:03I ain't got none.
29:05I ain't got any hairs under my arms.
29:08Have you not?
29:09No.
29:09Why?
29:10And they haven't used anything.
29:12So you've got more on your chin than under your arms.
29:15This week it was a new action-packed drama that had us gripped on Skye.
29:20I feel like a prisoner in this house.
29:21Cos whenever I leave it, Dad goes, where are you going?
29:25I'm going out with my friends.
29:26Which friend?
29:26Where are you going?
29:27What seems to be a common theme here is that it's me asking everyone where they're going.
29:31Yeah.
29:32And we can't ask you.
29:33If we asked you, it would soon come.
29:35That's not true.
29:37Yes, yes it is.
29:43I like a thriller I do.
29:45Looks all action this one.
29:46Have you done it?
29:47You'd actually do well in prison cos someone would take you under their wing as their bitch.
29:51Yeah.
29:52So I'd be looked after.
29:53Yeah.
29:54You can't really knock that, can you?
29:55No.
29:56In the episode, we joined a police briefing about taking down a crime boss.
30:01Putting Harrison Dempsey away is the only thing that anyone in this room cares about.
30:05He's got that Megamind situation going on.
30:08I was about to say.
30:09Yeah, that's a big head, full of ideas.
30:11And the success of a guilty verdict rests on the testimony of one man.
30:15Who?
30:16Who?
30:16Who?
30:16Tibor Stone is the most precious asset we have.
30:20So he's the snitch.
30:21Yeah, huh?
30:22And he's going to grass up his boss.
30:24So we should expect that they will do anything to stop him taking that stand in four days' time.
30:28And I mean anything.
30:31Well, yeah.
30:31Of course they will, won't they?
30:32God.
30:33He's going to be like a hot potato, this guy.
30:34Absolutely.
30:35He does look like hot property, doesn't he?
30:36This looks marvellous, doesn't it?
30:39I love this programme already.
30:45Warner, Gary, category C, transfer from Stratwell.
30:48Ah, they transport the prisoners.
30:51Oh, OK.
30:51That's the job.
30:52Like to and from court.
30:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:55I've got a weird one for you.
30:55Our head office just had a call from the National Crime Unit.
30:58They want us to make an additional pick-up.
31:00Oh.
31:00It's him.
31:01It's that guy.
31:02What's his name?
31:03It's an overnight transfer under armed guard.
31:07Oh.
31:07OK.
31:07As soon as they say armed guard, you've got to start thinking,
31:10you know, thinking, who the hell is it?
31:12Yeah, yeah.
31:13And what has he done?
31:20Oh, look at this.
31:21This is proper.
31:22This is the safe house in the middle of nowhere.
31:25Yeah.
31:25Also known as the grim house.
31:27I was going to say.
31:28Well, look lively.
31:29Here it comes.
31:34God, he looks like a right scary bastard, doesn't he?
31:37Sexy, isn't he?
31:41What's that?
31:42Binoculars, Pedro.
31:44Somebody's watching.
31:44Binoculars and fingerless gloves.
31:47That means serious shit.
31:51Who's there?
31:52That's the assassin then, isn't it?
31:54She's been hired by the mob, I'm guessing.
31:56Yeah.
31:56Now they know he's on the road.
31:57They've got him.
31:58Yeah.
32:02Oh, God.
32:03Through a tunnel.
32:04You don't want to go through a tunnel.
32:10Oh, shit.
32:11Get lost.
32:12This is a set up.
32:14As soon as that happened, I'd say, do a UA back out.
32:18Yeah.
32:21Something's off.
32:22Of course it is.
32:22I can tell that from here.
32:24They're like sitting ducks right now.
32:25Do something.
32:29Oh.
32:30Oh.
32:30Oh, it's a drone.
32:32Bloody drone.
32:36Oh.
32:37Ow.
32:37Oh, shit.
32:39Hey.
32:39It's a drone gun.
32:43Get down.
32:44Oh, get down.
32:48Oh, no.
32:48Oh.
32:52Oh, my God.
32:53Can a drone really do all of that?
32:56Apparently so.
32:59Open the door.
33:01She can't open the door.
33:03She's injured, you silly git.
33:08Oh, she is.
33:09She's going to open the door.
33:10She's going to go and open the door.
33:11If I was her, I'd just stay where I was, wouldn't you?
33:13If I had to be dead, I would.
33:14Yeah.
33:18Yes, cuffed him.
33:19Oh, don't strap yourself to him, you ninny.
33:21Why would you do that?
33:23What are you doing?
33:24So you can't run.
33:25Is she all right?
33:26This is not the time.
33:27Who gives a fuck?
33:28Yeah.
33:28She's saying you can't run.
33:30I'd have to let him piss off, wouldn't you?
33:35Oh, no, no, no.
33:36Oh, shit.
33:36The old petrol's coming out, yeah?
33:40It's going to go kaboomski this.
33:46Oh, nice.
33:47Run.
33:51That's that woman.
33:52What woman?
33:53Oh, the woman with the short hair that was looking through his binoculars.
33:59You need to run faster than that.
34:01I'm telling you, man, she's coming.
34:04We've got to get off this road.
34:06Oh, where'd you get off of that road?
34:07Oh.
34:08There's a river underneath, so...
34:10Wait.
34:11Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
34:12What are you doing?
34:13Oh, fuck that.
34:14No.
34:15You can't jump in the water.
34:18Oh, here she comes.
34:20Hurry, hurry, hurry.
34:20Quick.
34:21Oh, my God.
34:22Okay.
34:23Just go.
34:23Just go.
34:24Come on.
34:25Come on.
34:25Get your arse over here.
34:27Ready?
34:28Wait.
34:29Wait.
34:30Wait.
34:30Oh!
34:31Oh!
34:32Yeah!
34:33Oh!
34:33Oh!
34:35I don't know why Amber agreed to jump with him.
34:38I don't think she had much choice, that.
34:39You see, people who are that invested in the job do frighten me a little bit.
34:44You know.
34:45Yeah.
34:45I'm going to die because somebody's, you know, trying to get out of prison.
34:49But I'll be opening the back door and go, go on, Tom, off your foot.
35:00In Leeds.
35:01What have you been on this weekend?
35:02Because you've been really quiet.
35:03Well, I was getting over the weekend.
35:06So that, you know, came into it.
35:08But I've been, well, I did my meal plan.
35:10How do you stick to that?
35:12I didn't.
35:12I ordered Coco Pops.
35:14Best friends Danielle and Daniela.
35:17That is literally like going to the supermarket, buying all the healthy food, avoiding the sweet
35:21aisle, getting home and getting a takeaway.
35:24Yeah.
35:25However, I deleted my McDonald's app.
35:28Oh, that's a bold move.
35:29Yeah.
35:30After I went to the drive-thru and used all my points on a double cheeseburger and an apple pie.
35:39Your diets are my favourite.
35:41You know, if anybody says to me, what type of diet do you want?
35:43I'm like, Danielle is.
35:46On Friday night, Channel 4's starry-eyed singles were flirting up a storm again.
35:52Are you dating anyone, Sean?
35:54No.
35:55Are you seeing anyone?
35:56No.
35:56Are you hooking up with anyone?
35:57No.
35:58Are you talking to anyone?
35:59No.
36:00You wouldn't tell us if you was, would you?
36:02No.
36:02It's your wedding anniversary soon, actually.
36:0522nd of May.
36:08Isn't that Eva's birthday?
36:10No.
36:10It was his 27th of May.
36:13Right.
36:14Well, then he had a couple of cards then.
36:20I think I might have been sober for my first date with Josh.
36:23Really?
36:24I'm surprised he stuck around.
36:25I'm boring when I'm sober.
36:26No, you had 12 Long Island iced teas, didn't you?
36:29That was when we got together again.
36:30This is 26-year-old electrician, Jordan, and his mum, Kelly.
36:36Why not go on a date with your son?
36:37No.
36:37He brought his mum along?
36:39No.
36:39I'd walk out the restaurant.
36:40Mum and son on a date, that's disgusting.
36:43No, they're not dating each other.
36:46Nice to see you.
36:47Nice to meet you.
36:48So, what's happening here?
36:50Even Fred's freaked out.
36:51Is it father and daughter?
36:53Fred's trying to turn it off.
36:55You two sisters?
36:57First time doing this, why?
36:59It's just a nice thing to do, isn't it?
37:01It is.
37:02Yeah.
37:02No.
37:03Tell me, what'd you do for a living?
37:05I'm a student at the moment in Bristol.
37:07I'm studying forensic science.
37:09It's at Jordan's date.
37:10Don't tell me she brought a fucking dad.
37:12Oh, she's lovely.
37:13She brought a dad.
37:14Are you ready for your date?
37:15Yes, I am.
37:16I am.
37:17Is he here?
37:17Yes, so is your mother-in-law.
37:21Hi.
37:21Hiya.
37:22Hi.
37:23Amy, nice to meet you.
37:24Nice to meet you, Jordan.
37:26How are you?
37:26You all right?
37:26Yeah, I'm so good.
37:27How are you?
37:28Good.
37:28Oh, my God.
37:29Oh, my God.
37:30This is so awkward.
37:31Already.
37:33Who's this lady?
37:34She has no idea.
37:35No.
37:35Introduce your mum.
37:36Introduce your mum.
37:37What's the dynamic here?
37:38Sorry.
37:39This is my mum.
37:40I'm on a date as well.
37:41Oh, are you?
37:43There we go.
37:44Should have done that in the first place, Jordan.
37:47Look, look, look.
37:47There you go.
37:47It's broken the ice now.
37:48That's better.
37:50The thing he's the right man for the job is Carpenter John.
37:54Ooh!
37:56Carpenter John.
37:57I like the look of John.
37:58Ooh!
37:59John's a fitter.
38:01I'm John.
38:01Hi, John.
38:02I'm Kelly.
38:03Nice to meet you.
38:04And you.
38:04Well, that's a good start.
38:05They're both checking each other out there.
38:06Did you see that?
38:07These actually make an arse couple.
38:09You've got big arms.
38:10Yes.
38:11Must be the arms.
38:11I've got some guns.
38:12Yeah, you are.
38:13Oh, my gosh!
38:14That's a compliment, sir.
38:15Kelly's got bigger arms than John.
38:17Go for the full bingo card and say she's got big thighs and all.
38:20Yeah.
38:20Thunder thighs.
38:21Lovely.
38:22You've got a fast arse, haven't you?
38:24That's nice.
38:25Thank you very much.
38:25Do you like guns with muscles?
38:26Yeah.
38:27Oh, that's all right, then.
38:28Oh, she seems quite into it.
38:30She's enjoyed it.
38:30Started showing off the guns.
38:32What do you do?
38:33I'm a carpenter.
38:34Okay.
38:35They're good with my hands.
38:35So you like to play with tools as well?
38:37I've got tools.
38:38Ooh!
38:39I like...
38:39That was flirty.
38:40What about you?
38:42I'm a dominatrix.
38:44Ha!
38:45Dominatrix?
38:47Is that not an acrobat?
38:48I had a boyfriend once who'd like me to spank him with a frying pan.
38:51For heaven's sake.
38:52I do...
38:54pegging.
38:56Spanking.
38:56Excuse me?
38:57What's pegging?
38:59It's...
38:59Google it.
39:01From what I believe it is, it will involve some type of instrument and a buttocks.
39:09Okay, all right.
39:10Moving on.
39:11Wait, wait, wait, wait!
39:12I mean...
39:13The amount of money that I get paid per hour is quadruple what I was earning in the fitness
39:20industry.
39:21To be fair, Lee, she's honest.
39:24Yeah, she's honest.
39:24Because a lot of people wouldn't come out and say this on a first date.
39:27It's relieved a lot of the anxiety and pressure that comes with being a single parent.
39:32So if she were on minimum wage, say, for the fitness industry, she's on nearly 50 quid
39:36an hour per gig.
39:38Fucking hell.
39:39Might have to have a little career change myself.
39:42Like, I'm okay with whatever you think.
39:45It's fine.
39:46You're supporting your family, so why not?
39:48But still, even if he doesn't judge her harshly, he probably won't want to date her.
39:55He'd be frightened of being manacled or pegged.
39:58So then, guys, would you like to see one another again?
40:02I'll go first, if that's all right.
40:04He's going to say yes.
40:05If he's going first, he's going to say yes.
40:06Come on, John.
40:07I totally respect what you do and everything.
40:09I think you're gorgeous.
40:10I would definitely say yes.
40:11Oh, he didn't mince his words either, did he?
40:13He was like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
40:14Absolutely.
40:15I like that.
40:16Isn't that sweet, Natty?
40:19Isn't it sweet?
40:20Yeah, I'd like to go on another date again and see.
40:24Just see where it went.
40:25Yeah.
40:25It's a double yes.
40:26Oh!
40:27Oh, we were totally wrong.
40:29We know nothing.
40:30Oh!
40:31That's off to it.
40:32You know, you do what you need to do to provide for your family.
40:35You know, I'd be a dominatrix if I needed to be.
40:39Yeah, you'd peg some one if the kids needed feeding.
40:42Fucking absolutely.
40:46You'd be out pegging with the rest of them.
40:48They could be Peggy Mitchell.
40:53In Wiltshire...
40:54These steaks were advertised.
40:56Ask at the butcher's counter for their steaks, Mary, half price.
41:01Why do you have to bring steaks out in this room?
41:03Giles and his wife, Mary.
41:06Okay, shall I put my initial on it?
41:08Absolutely not.
41:09That's the daddy steak.
41:10That's the biggest one.
41:12That's the mummy steak, the second biggest one.
41:15And the daughter will have the smallest steak, Mary.
41:18Yeah, it's time you grew up, Giles.
41:21I'm just...
41:21Right, I'm going to write my initials.
41:23Oh, for God's sake, don't.
41:24My initials on my steak.
41:26Nobody will notice even if you do write them on.
41:29G, I'm going to write it in the fat, Mary,
41:32just so there's no quibble.
41:36It's a no-quibble guarantee that I get my own steak.
41:41Do you want me to write M on yours?
41:43Absolutely not.
41:44M...
41:45Stop it!
41:45On Monday, it was manoeuvres at Number 10
41:49that were making the headlines on the BBC.
41:52It's interesting times, Tracer.
41:54That's an understatement.
41:56Countries upside down and back to front and turned inside out.
41:59That's true.
42:00I need some popcorn for this.
42:02Let's see the end of an era, Natty.
42:06What are you talking about?
42:08It's Dahmer.
42:08Oh.
42:09The Prime Minister has insisted he will not walk away
42:12despite the disastrous election results last week.
42:15He's not going as they're kicking and screaming.
42:17He's hanging on tooth and nail.
42:18But more than 50 Labour MPs have now called for him to go
42:22or to set a date to leave.
42:24I give him an end of the week.
42:25Imagine being at work and being told to quit by everybody
42:30and going, no.
42:31Yeah.
42:32You need to quit. Get out.
42:34Sakir says he's proved his doubters wrong in the past
42:37and will do so again.
42:38He's a stubborn bugger, isn't he?
42:40Well, you can't just have somebody that's going to roll over, can you?
42:44Yeah.
42:44And I suppose, if anything, it's showing he's got integrity.
42:47Exactly.
42:48That's what I think.
42:49In a crucial speech this morning,
42:51he admitted his government had made mistakes
42:53but said he'd got the big political choices right.
42:56Which big political choices did he get right?
42:59By not joining the Americans against...
43:01Yeah, give him that. Give him that, actually.
43:03In that fight against Iran.
43:04I mean, one thing is, I would say, is there's a humility to him
43:08that I quite like.
43:09He does at least say that people are, I get it, I get it.
43:13And what are the actual options?
43:15I get it.
43:16You've been saying that for years, Kir.
43:18You don't get it, otherwise you would have got it long ago, mate.
43:21I feel it.
43:23And I take responsibility.
43:26It's just a load of bull, isn't it?
43:27It's all words.
43:28That's the annoying thing for me.
43:30I know I have my doubters.
43:32Doubters? It's not doubters.
43:34Doubters.
43:34We're not doubting you.
43:36We're certain.
43:37We're certain that you're rubbish.
43:38I won't be able to handle that pressure.
43:40What Keir Starmer's under, I'd have thrown in towel.
43:43I'd quit jobs for much less.
43:45You have for much, much less.
43:47And I know I need to prove them wrong, and I will.
43:50No, you won't be able to, because we already know you've cocked up.
43:55It's like an ex begging into it.
43:56I just want one more chance.
43:58Just one more.
43:59I'll do anything.
44:00I'll change.
44:02So Keir Starmer's back against the wall.
44:04He was noticeably more angry, more passionate than we often see him.
44:08The blazer's off.
44:09He's got no tie on either.
44:11The blazer's off.
44:12The button's undone.
44:13He's ready to box the nation.
44:15Yeah.
44:16I am their Prime Minister, and this is their government.
44:20A little bit of emotion there.
44:22Yeah.
44:22A good bit of emotion.
44:23Slightly arousing.
44:24Not arousing.
44:25Rousing.
44:27Really, darling?
44:28It was slightly rousing.
44:29Not arousing.
44:31The conversations about the Prime Minister's possible successors are still feverish.
44:36There's the Mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham.
44:39Andy Burnham can't, because he's not an MP.
44:40He's doing an alright job as a Mayor.
44:42We'd lose that for him to be the Prime Minister.
44:44So, leaving Manchester is alright for a minute, innit?
44:47Then there's the former Deputy Prime Minister, Angela Rayner.
44:50No, we're not having her.
44:51The sea vultures circling round there praying there.
44:54Yeah, yeah.
44:55Angela Rayner and Andy Burnham.
44:56He's thinking, I'll put the knives out of my back when I get home.
45:01Then there is the Health Secretary, Wes Streeting, whose supporters would prefer things to move quickly
45:06before Andy Burnham can find himself a seat.
45:09Well, Andy Burnham has a proven record of competence, you see, with Manchester.
45:15So, it would be good.
45:17But also, Wes has a very good sense of humour, and he's not that incompetent.
45:24And all afternoon here, one after another, yet more Labour MPs saying the Prime Minister has to go.
45:34Jesus, they're all jumping on the bandwagon now, aren't they?
45:36I just think all these lot that think that Keir Starmer's gonna throw in towel
45:40are pissing in wind.
45:42Because he ain't gonna go.
45:43He's not going down without a fight.
45:45No, he ain't, is he?
45:46They were fighting for his life out there today.
45:48Do you remember that poster that was, like, in the 90s?
45:51It was everywhere.
45:51It's just, like, hang in there and a cat on a washing line.
45:54Yeah.
45:55How long can he cling on for?
45:56I feel like that's Keir Starmer right now.
45:59Do you know who I think could be a good new Prime Minister?
46:01You know, and I know I'm a little bit biased when I say this, but Nitro from Gladiators.
46:07Because he's tough and he's strong to put up with any shit off anybody.
46:11Yeah, but he probably...
46:12But he's also got it all up here.
46:13He's got it all sussed out.
46:14He probably doesn't know anything about economics.
46:17You don't need to, do you? These have proved that.
46:30The US has finally said I do to the marital maelstrom of maths on E4.
46:35Starting Monday at 8 with friends and family grilling on overdrive.
46:38Channel 4 is here for major new drama with Keely Horse and Papa Isidu craving the tender and the taboo.
46:44Falling begins Tuesday night at 9.
46:46More faithful flirting's up next and brand new first dates.
46:49More faithful flirting's up next and brand new first dates.
46:50Perfect. Perfect world.
46:55Perfect world.
46:56You
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