- 8 hours ago
Rivals Season 2 Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00...make your life better.
00:01Someone who knows they're playing for the winning side,
00:04who was born to win and refuses to lose.
00:07Someone who can ride any storm and even let others take the lead
00:11without ever tiring or letting go.
00:13Someone who is flexible and used to competing in difficult positions.
00:17If that ticks all your boxes, may I invite you to tick mine?
00:23Oh, you look spectacular.
00:25That was a party political broadcast by the Conservative Party.
00:30You do know that's an empty.
00:34The mirror's pretty old, too.
00:37Helen.
01:25wi-fi-lo-fi-lo-fi-fly.
01:29The mirror's pretty old.
01:32so you forgot not for a second half-term break you'll have until wednesday i've been looking
01:37forward to it stop it your poker face is terrible more of a bridge man i do like a foursome
01:48hi marcus
01:52the children's bags the clothes are all labeled there's a list in there if you could check them
01:56all off when they come back tabitha came home without a single sock last time hello
02:08hi i'm mrs gordon the children's mother uh yeah uh and then this is cameron i've heard so much about
02:15you philadelphia right yes ma'am well new york by way of philly you florida
02:22and hi you must be tabitha obviously who are you
02:30um i'm your uh your father's girlfriend you're bloody nuts
02:40okay i'm gonna leave you to deal with that i'm late for my plane my husband is waiting
02:45where are you going venice oh baby we should go to venice i'll waste it on rupert i'm afraid
02:50okay kiss the children for me i'll see them wednesday wednesday right i'm sorry i didn't
02:57know that they didn't know about me enjoy venice don't fall in
03:11tabitha come and meet cameron properly
03:13i told you you should order the beef lewidge's is legendary
03:23i'm not really enjoying red meat at the moment
03:25ah monica couldn't eat eggs for nine months couldn't see them in the pantry without feeling nauseous
03:33so explain to me how it's mine
03:37do you remember the day i joined corinium celebration dinner at the bear in bisley
03:41two courses me for pudding
03:44forgive me i'm not the only suspect
03:46james and i didn't start until miss corinium
03:48you knew of a husband
03:49no paul lost his libido the same time as his cabinet suit
03:52not something um you'd ever have trouble with i imagine
03:58you're feeling a bit pushed out since bt came on board at corinium am i right
04:03you're also aware that cameron's out you're wondering
04:06if a little power move like this
04:09might move you into the position she vacated
04:11queen of corinium
04:13sad to say sarah we're not inviting applications at present
04:15nor are we looking for an illegitimate heir to the throne
04:20get rid of it
04:21i know a very good chap in harley street had this sorted out in no time
04:24a termination
04:25not a nice word
04:29better to think of it as a cleansing
04:31of your soul
04:33be a shame if this were to hang over your blossoming career
04:38it would hang over you too though wouldn't it
04:41and monica
04:49eminently deniable
04:52unless that's a pro pops out of a cigar in its mouth you don't know it to prove it's
04:55mine
04:55here you go
04:57thank you
04:59thank you
05:00bon appetit
05:02mmm
05:03god it's good
05:04mmm
05:07try the beef
05:15come on
05:22don't try to play chess with me sarah
05:24you're not clever enough
05:26we both want rid of this problem so you sort it out as quick as you possibly can
05:30good girl
05:38rupert's all over bloody everything
05:39they've shown his party political broadcast five times this week he's been on breakfast time
05:44and tv am both channels both
05:45channels
05:48meanwhile i
05:49can't even get invited on cotswold roundup a program presented by my own wife thank you darling
05:56so listen i've made some calls and we're gonna have a dinner party on tuesday
05:59see if we can't turn some local goodwill into actual television coverage
06:03show to anybody
06:05we mean business
06:07dinner party here
06:09do you know
06:11winifred
06:12always
06:13used to throw me dinner parties in the run-up
06:16to an election
06:17and i
06:18never had to suggest it myself
06:19oh
06:20good for winifred
06:25yes
06:26perhaps you should start thinking about what to cook
06:33so
06:35it is
06:56okay
06:57so
06:57it is
07:01you're too good to those birds i like how busy they are work so hard at surviving morning
07:09aubergines from the market as requested more machines in the cards well i was in london
07:14last night i've got to make six um what's it again moussaka thanks moussaka for the women's
07:20institute agm and i spell on for your lunch can't wait draw the hand i'm a decent sous-chef
07:31boss ladies here
07:38morning you must be marcus hello which makes you tabata and you're declan o'hara from the telly
07:45declan o' telly that's right this is all looking great it is but charles called me this morning
07:51turns out carinium are also developing a series of shakespeare plays for the school's back
07:56do you know about this it's another thing from our application document isn't it
08:23all right then where do you want this declin
08:27uh over here there you go oh fuck i'm sweating carbs here who is this person
08:32oh good morning venture television shelly speaking well we said we needed the secretary
08:38she prefers executive assistant declan bbc for you
08:49declin o'hara hello jeremy hi baz oh hello munchkin oh how are you is there any food
08:58cameron made breakfast but it was disgusting
09:02which is your desk why the only character in my life i want to know everything about you
09:07we've put you over here cameron this is the driving seat why don't you go into the kitchen
09:12and find taggy she'll get you a snack go on let's do that i scribbled some eggs how is that
09:17disgusting will do jeremy thank you so our yeats documentary is now officially in development
09:26oh honey so recently you were pronouncing it yeats so what happens now take a trip over to ireland
09:34scout out some locations we don't need to shoot in ireland we've got landscape coming out of our
09:38ears in ruttshire with all due respect cameron says the man about to say something disrespectful
09:44fucking ruttshire looks nothing like ireland and it's ignorant to even suggest that we would
09:49ever we should be trying to film where was least expensive i don't want the maths club running the
09:52drama group all right oh hello children uh there's nobody in the kitchen okay uh take a seat and
10:01we'll we'll find you some cookies or something huh shelley you don't want the math club running the
10:07drama group i don't want the drama group being irresponsible with venturer's program budget
10:16oh my god you little shit whoa whoa whoa whoa come on the timing was good
10:22camera infarticated oh i can smell it thank you i'm just want to speak to her
10:34hey uh why don't you take it with you can i show the landscape make her full of love with
10:42the place
10:43you want me to take cameron to ireland why am i suspicious
10:50i can really use a few days alone with the kids try and talk to them about this new relationship
10:58help me out here yeah
11:08taggy taggy i've got your dish hello freddy you've been okay
11:29not great no me neither no bloody coffees so hello lizzie sorry snatching a moment didn't mean to
11:39interrupt oh no don't worry i don't know why muggins here has been left to make the coffee
11:43while shelley's sat on her arse with her tin of family circle i always prefer to sit near the biscuits
11:53how many times have you shagged now once and never again surely not i'd imagine mr jance is a very
12:01considerate lover i'm married
12:03yes to james verica we can't all just do what we want rupert the rules are there to stop people
12:09getting hurt that's why most of us try to stick to them i came to give this back to taggy
12:15we were all quite surprised when you moved cameron into pensacom court
12:19well i hope it's working out
12:34i'll only be a few days in ireland
12:37honestly how is he my son with an underarm like that
12:41you won't do anything silly will you if tony comes prowling around
12:44is him with a show jumping trophy
12:48if he had anything on us he'd have used it by enough look i said i would be here to
12:52look after you and i will
12:55i think you like that you rescued me what happens when i don't need taken care of anymore
12:59yeah i might have rescued you the first time but the second time you rescued yourself and i like that
13:03very much
13:06well i guess tabitha's not coming to say goodbye
13:08look i know she's been a little toad
13:11i've never had a woman here at the same time as the children
13:14whatever else i've done i've stuck to that so of course she's rattled by meeting you it's your own bloody
13:19fault
13:20making me adore you enough to break the rules
13:23you know what i'm gonna miss you
13:31and i'll miss you too blue
13:33bye marcus
13:34bye
13:42do you think she'll come back
13:45why wouldn't she
13:51do you think she'll be happy
14:07you lost?
14:10saw you upset
14:12i'm taggy
14:14i live in a house down there
14:17I like your purple skirt. I always wanted one, but my knees are too knobbly.
14:23Hey, this is Gertrude. She's a good listener. I'll tell her all my problems.
14:26Her voice isn't very good, though. She mainly just whiffs and girls.
14:33You think you can tell her what's wrong?
14:35Daddy doesn't love me anymore.
14:39There you are.
14:44Um, darling, what did I tell you about running away?
14:46This is Taggy, Daddy. She lives down there.
14:49Yeah, we've, uh, we've met.
14:52Can she come to tea, Daddy? Please, please?
14:55Oh, um.
14:58Yeah, come and have some tea, why not?
15:01Um, I've got to get home, but another day, OK?
15:05Come on, pup.
15:09OK, home time.
15:12I don't think she likes you, Daddy.
15:23Good morning, Rudshaw. What a beautiful, sunny morning it is, too.
15:27With the general election only days away, this morning we'll be asking if Rudshaw will stay as conservative as ever,
15:33or if local MPs who put Campbell Black for Childhood and Bisley and Paul Stratton for Conchester should be watching
15:40their backs for a potential liberal landslide.
15:49And here is the kitchen, where you'll be making all the magic happen.
15:54Cooker, fridge here, pantry, a walk-in cupboard there, that's where Paul keeps all the wine and whatnot.
15:59Um, you're happy with the recipe?
16:01It's just I know that reading's a struggle for you, isn't it, with your...
16:05Oh, I'm fine, I've got everything.
16:10For writing it out so big.
16:11No, I know beef, it's a bit much, isn't it, for a summer dinner party, but...
16:14Well, it's his favourite, my husband's favourite, I mean.
16:18And with the election and the callings of the TV coverage, you can get.
16:21Oh, of course.
16:22And you don't mind staying in the kitchen tonight, do you? It's just, it's a bit awkward, you being venturer.
16:27Oh, Daddy doesn't know, but he can't really complain, we need the money.
16:30Ah. Well, just don't go poisoning all of Carinium in my dining room.
16:36Seriously, though, you really mustn't let anyone see you.
16:38Oh.
16:39OK.
16:39I'd rather give him the impression that I'm doing the cooking tonight, so I really need everything to be perfect.
16:44Right.
16:47OK, well, I'm going to go to the hairdressers.
16:50Don't answer the door, but if somebody calls, just pretend to be the daily, OK?
16:54Oh, sure.
16:56What if anyone sees me in the kitchen tonight?
16:58Shh.
17:03Just duck into the pantry.
17:09This afternoon, the MP for Chalford and Bisley was in Stroud with his children
17:13to open the newest branch of Waitrose, armed with a very large pair of scissors.
17:17And three, two, one.
17:19Yay!
17:20Well, thank you.
17:21No, delighted to pop in on our walk around Stroud.
17:24Waitrose is absolutely the best place to pick up a nice hunk of Codswell bloom.
17:33No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:35God, God, no, you idiot.
17:39Um.
17:41OK.
17:43OK.
17:44Oh.
17:52Hello, Mrs. Stratton-Bishop and thank you very much.
17:56That's the worst rudge rax and I've ever heard, Sarah, is Rupert.
18:00It's not Sarah.
18:02Is that Taggy?
18:03Sarah said to pretend to be a daily.
18:06Um, I'm actually after Paul.
18:08Is he there?
18:09It's party business.
18:11Shit.
18:12Oh.
18:14Darling, what is it?
18:16I'm making Mr. Stratton's favourite beef from the white elephant in Painswick and I've
18:19just dropped all the salt on it and now it's ruined.
18:21Oh, Angel.
18:23Well, can you make it again?
18:24No, it's too late.
18:25The butcher shuts at four.
18:26God, I've ruined everything.
18:29All right, leave it with me.
18:30You get on with the starter and I'll be there in an hour.
18:33No, you don't have to do that.
18:37But there's an awful lot to do.
18:38Sorry, Gerald.
18:39I'm rescuing a constituent.
18:41Give me back my money!
18:42Can't have it.
18:43It's free parking, not three pounds.
18:45This is free parking, not three pounds.
18:45I can't.
18:59I can't.
19:32Are you nearly done? They're sitting down.
19:34Well, some of them.
19:35Nearly, nearly.
19:37Oh, quick, someone's coming.
19:44Gorgeous canapés, Sarah.
19:45Oh, thanks so much.
19:47Yes, and I love those.
19:49Taggy O'Hara, Nixon?
19:50Yes.
19:51Yes, I asked for the recipe.
19:54Oh.
19:55What are you cooking us?
19:57I'm cooking Luigi's famous beef dough.
19:59I had to almost sleep with him to get the recipe.
20:02Well, that's Tony's favourite.
20:03I can't wait to tell him.
20:05Can I do anything?
20:06Yes.
20:06Will you tell the men to bloody well sit down?
20:08God, it's like herding cats, isn't it?
20:10Where's your glass, Lizzie?
20:12Put it down again.
20:17Sarah?
20:18Sorry, did I make you jump?
20:20I'm so sorry for bringing your nemesis.
20:23Mother's not well tonight.
20:24Beattie overheard me on the phone and insisted she come along with me instead.
20:28I couldn't stop her.
20:29Don't worry.
20:30I put her next to James.
20:31Oh.
20:31Oh, actually, you can take this in for me.
20:36I need no second bidding.
20:45Now, can I take these?
20:46Are these ready to go?
20:47Oh, I'm not really ready.
20:48Well, they look ready.
20:49Actually, yes, they're ready.
20:51Sorry.
20:52And just remind me again, what are these?
20:54It's trout mousse with a cucumber salad and Melba toast.
20:58And did it take you long to make it?
20:59Not really, because we're very good at cooking.
21:07Beef daub for eight, direct from Luigi at the White Elephant.
21:10Oh, my goodness.
21:11You're a lifesaver.
21:13Oh, look, it's the same dish.
21:14Do you mind?
21:18Does your father know you're cooking for the enemy?
21:21This is the strangest job I have.
21:23It's there, quick.
21:25Really?
21:29I knew Sarah was cooking.
21:31Oh, my God, please don't say anything.
21:32I've been such a trouble.
21:33Oh, word.
21:33I said I was going to the loo.
21:35Don't worry.
21:35Why don't you use the upstairs one?
21:37Well, I don't need the loo.
21:38That's OK.
21:38OK.
21:42What are the herbs on top?
21:43Monica's off.
21:44Oh, um, Dill.
21:45Dill?
21:46Hmm.
21:46Um, Paul wants horseradish.
21:48Oh, Sarah.
21:48No, no, not in there.
21:50Oh, sorry.
21:52What the hell are you doing here?
21:53I just popped round to see Taggy.
21:56Sarah!
21:57Wait!
22:00I have to speak to you.
22:02I'm hosting a dinner party, James.
22:03It can't wait.
22:04I'm sure it can.
22:05I am going crackers.
22:06Because, apparently, you are pregnant.
22:10Why did you see you told me at work?
22:12Is it true?
22:13Is it mine?
22:14No.
22:15I'm getting rid of it, all right?
22:16Just...
22:17Please, don't leave me there.
22:19Don't...
22:21I'm getting in a...
22:23I'm fine.
22:28Everything all right, darling?
22:29Oh, yes.
22:29What?
22:30Why?
22:30I don't know.
22:31You seem a bit...
22:31Oh, well, so do you.
22:33This is terribly important.
22:35I know.
22:35Oh, my insides are not right at all.
22:38Oh, he's probably just nervous.
22:39Go upstairs and see someone else.
22:41It's all right.
22:43Oh.
22:44Oh.
22:44Oh.
22:47Someone was in the other Lou, so I went upstairs.
22:49No problem.
22:50Very good.
22:51Go and sit down.
22:53Have a drink.
22:54Another drink.
23:05Get back in there before Lizzie sees you're gone.
23:06God, Sarah, I can't tell you the relief.
23:13It's not mine, is it?
23:14No.
23:15Fuck off.
23:16Get me the horseradish.
23:16Middle shelf.
23:17All right, I don't know what's the horseradishes.
23:19Let me.
23:20Oh, God.
23:22Oh, God.
23:24What does a girl have to do to get a proper drink around here?
23:28Murder a Scotch.
23:30Are we alone?
23:31Looks like it.
23:33Our plan is coming together deliciously.
23:36I genuinely think it might lose a particular unlovely person their particularly lovely job.
23:40Beautiful music to my ears.
23:42Hmm.
23:43You just need to keep a certain person out of my way.
23:49Oh.
23:50Hello, you two.
23:51You're talking shop again, are we?
23:52You really are the most attentive host.
23:55Every time we turn around, there you are.
23:56Well, actually, I was just popping in for this cheeky little burgundy to go with the beef.
24:00What do you say, Tony?
24:01Should we, uh, rip our knickers off?
24:02Oh, God.
24:03Absolutely.
24:04Excuse me.
24:04I mustn't be monitoring.
24:06Oh, did I mention what a wonderful job you're doing on the election campaigns?
24:09Sarah has learned so much from you.
24:11Well, she had a great deal to learn.
24:21Right.
24:22This is my very important dinner party, all right?
24:24So I have to go back in there because people are going to start asking where I am.
24:28Please get the main course ready and try not to do anything more to fuck up my night.
24:32Fine.
24:32Oh, Jesus.
24:34Okay.
24:35What can I do?
24:36Can you take this one with you?
24:41Hide the evidence.
24:42Of course.
24:42And this is definitely the salty one.
24:44Yes.
24:44Thank you so much for tonight.
24:47Wish I could pay you back.
24:49I mean, return the favour.
24:54Well, uh, actually, there is one thing you could help me with.
24:59Hey, yeah?
24:59One to have escaped from cold eggs.
25:01This is just your thing.
25:02I have to tell you he said anything to you.
25:04About what?
25:05The entire purpose of this evening.
25:07Getting my face on Coridium television.
25:09Yeah.
25:10But he can't last you all still in here, can he?
25:13Oh, do me a favour.
25:13Crack open another bottle of red.
25:15This is really ploughing through it.
25:16Yeah, Roger, both of you.
25:20All aboard.
25:28Oh, God, she took it.
25:30What do we do?
25:30Oh, God.
25:32You'll have to go in there.
25:32I can't go in there.
25:33Well, I really can't go in there.
25:34Oh, Roger.
25:35Oh, it's the wrong beef.
25:37What?
25:38You'll regret it if you argue, darling.
25:39Just run and get the beef.
25:40What?
25:42Welcome, Dobs.
25:42Yep.
25:43Oh, hang on, everybody.
25:44I've got to do something.
25:46Oh, what the hell is going on?
25:52Everyone in there thinks I'm fatty.
25:54Just say you forgot to garnish it.
25:56Sarah!
25:57What?
25:58Oh, my God.
25:58Sarah!
26:01Is everything all right, Tom?
26:05Sarah, what is the daughter of Tony Battingham's greatest enemy doing in our kitchen?
26:09Oh, please, God, don't tell me she cooked the dinner.
26:14It's no good.
26:16It's no good.
26:17I'm never going to be able to cook like Winifred.
26:19Darling, I just wanted your night to be perfect, so I got Taggy to come and help me.
26:23I've been in the pantry.
26:24Sarah's done most of it.
26:26You want to find out, Paulie?
26:28Come on, nobody's seen her.
26:30As long as there's absolutely no chance of Tony finding out.
26:33Absolutely none.
26:35Oh.
26:36Come on, darling.
26:37Why don't you go back in there and top up everyone's wine?
26:40Could have been worse, you know?
26:41Could have been Rupert Campbell's fuckface in this kitchen.
26:49I'm so sorry.
26:50Let the Royal Luigi cook this one.
26:52It's really good.
26:54Yes.
26:55So I hear.
26:58Good luck in there.
26:59Go.
27:00Out.
27:02Hey, what the hell are you doing here?
27:03What?
27:04It's been around the whole party.
27:05Apparently you've got a secret.
27:06If I hear so much as a whisper of anything...
27:08I haven't told anyone.
27:09I can't help it if you have.
27:10Sarah!
27:12Get in.
27:13Get in.
27:15Dolly!
27:16I can't seem to get Tony on his own now I'm chatting up.
27:20B.T. Johnson only.
27:21I may have done too much.
27:22I may have made her think that I'm up for a clinch in the cloak.
27:24Oh, no, I'm still looking for this.
27:25Oh, God.
27:26Hide me, hide me, hide me.
27:33Wine pantry?
27:33Aren't we posh?
27:35Mm-hmm.
27:39Tony.
27:40Paul.
27:44So listen, while I've got you, um...
27:46I wonder if you might see fit to, uh, get me on our Cotswold Roundup sofa this week, hmm?
27:50One final push before the election, you know?
27:53Win it for the blues.
27:55No, yes, no.
27:56No.
27:57No.
27:58I don't want to do that.
27:59I'm struggling to make that happen.
28:01Waveless.
28:02Thank you so much.
28:04Um.
28:05Waveless.
28:09Ah!
28:10Oh!
28:11There you are.
28:12And you found Tony.
28:14Good.
28:15Good.
28:16Um, darling, I think he wants a Scotch.
28:18So would you take that in for me?
28:19My joiner in one, actually.
28:21Ha, ha, ha.
28:21Tony.
28:22Oops.
28:25I'm seeing the Harley Street Doctor next week, right?
28:27So what's all this about secrets?
28:32I didn't cook this.
28:34Right?
28:35It's not about the baby.
28:37Listen to me.
28:37You get yourself unpregnated as quickly as possible, or no more dinner parties.
28:41Huh?
28:42No more uncensored.
28:43You got it?
28:43You are off the show until you've sort yourself out.
28:52No.
29:03No.
29:10No.
29:10No.
29:11No.
29:12No.
29:13No.
29:14No.
29:16Bees.
29:16Bees.
29:17No.
29:21Ah.
29:23Oh, sorry about that, everybody.
29:25It is.
29:26Bees.
29:26Do.
29:33Oh, I do love a movie, darling.
29:35But Taggy O'Hara cooked the whole thing
29:38and Sarah had her hiding in the kitchen all night.
29:40No, you're joking.
29:42Oh, there's Gerald.
29:43Don't forget to vote tomorrow.
29:45Rupert Campbell, there.
29:46Jerry?
29:47Hello.
29:48Hello.
29:49Beautiful day, Forrest.
29:51Look, Georgie, girl, I want you a beauty.
29:55Gee, does Tony know you're fraternising with the enemy, Monica?
29:59Oh, we've all known each other far too long for any of that silliness.
30:02You, me, and Hermione were spiking the punch at the Junior Hunt Ball
30:05before I never seemed to know what a television franchise was.
30:09Murphy, your godmother was quite the firecracker, you know.
30:12Oh.
30:13Jerry, darling, do you want some help?
30:15Mummy, will you take David back?
30:17Oh, of course.
30:17Can I have fun?
30:19Come on, David.
30:20Yes, give me some of those.
30:21Lovely to see her so happy.
30:23Do you know, I really never thought she'd find anyone.
30:25Campbell Black?
30:27Quite something, isn't she, your Muffy?
30:30She's a trooper.
30:32Must say there's something of a surprise, Polo.
30:35Yes, sorry.
30:36Um, you were away when it all happened.
30:39I mean, I didn't know you liked, um...
30:44Dogs and horses?
30:46Yes, exactly.
30:47Well, you know what it's like when you find your person.
30:50Suddenly everything about you makes sense.
30:55So you have to screw the corners down really tight.
30:58No.
30:59No.
31:01Then you have to leave it for several weeks.
31:03Weeks.
31:04Teachers are patients, don't they?
31:05Done it with my brownies a few times.
31:07They love it.
31:08Do you go to brownies, Tab?
31:09You only go to brownies if you haven't got a pony.
31:14Oh, we can use them to decorate cards once they're pressed, like these ones, I mean.
31:18What's Taggy short for?
31:19Agatha.
31:20Isn't that awful?
31:21Tabitha's so much nicer.
31:22I don't like it if people call me Tabby at school.
31:24Sounds like a cat.
31:26Well, my parents call me Tag, which sounds a lot like Tab.
31:28If Mark has shouted Tab, we'd both go charging into the room and bump into each other in the doorway.
31:36If you come to Warwickshire, you can see Biscuit, my new pony.
31:39Oh, I'd love that.
31:41Tab!
31:41Here we are!
31:44Daddy, could Taggy come back to Warwickshire with us tonight and see Biscuit?
31:48See Biscuit?
31:49That's another one that's entirely.
31:50Please, Daddy.
31:51She can come and get burgers with us on the way.
31:53Oh, I said I'd give Mrs. Irma left turns.
31:55By a walk.
31:56It's not far.
31:57You go see the pony.
32:00Lunch?
32:04Yes!
32:05Yes!
32:05I can't wait for you to eat Biscuit.
32:07Come on!
32:08Okay, okay, okay.
32:09Come on, come on.
32:09What Tabitha says goes.
32:12Last one to the car is a filthy rascal.
32:13Go, go, go, go, go!
32:247-11 are ready for drinks, don't they?
32:33Oh, no!
32:34A quick check on 12, okay?
32:36Yeah.
32:41Everything good, Mr. Campbell Black?
32:42Perfect.
32:43I'll have another, please, I can.
32:46And the pudding menu.
32:47Coming up.
32:48You can have pudding if Cameron's not here.
32:50Horrid Cameron thinks fruit salad is a pudding.
32:52Yuck.
32:53Oh, Cameron's not horrid.
32:54You know, when I first met her, I did think she was a bit scary.
32:57Even Daddy probably thought she was a bit scary.
33:01I was terrified.
33:03If Cameron and Dad got married, she'd be our stepmother.
33:05I'm not calling her mother.
33:07You don't have to.
33:09Malise doesn't make her call him Dad, does he?
33:12And you're so lucky, all these extra grown-ups you've got.
33:15Are you one of our grown-ups?
33:16I could be your grown-up friend if you like.
33:27Delicious as ever, Basil.
33:29Got the wine on the go.
33:30You got it?
33:33And this is for you.
33:41I didn't realise you'd lifted the ban on super-villains.
33:44Closest place to Carinion for an off-campus cabal.
33:47Don't worry, I'd charge him double.
33:49I've been discussing all the programme ideas.
33:50You've pinched.
33:51Not pinching, I think.
33:53We have everything we need.
33:54Just spending time with the family, same as you.
33:56Oh, I'm not going to congratulate you.
33:58I had no idea you had three such beautiful children.
34:03Do have a good evening, won't you?
34:22Mr. Stratton, welcome back to Carinion.
34:25Good to see you.
34:27And can I just say, I'll definitely be voting for you tomorrow.
34:30That's very kind.
34:32Thank you, Doreen.
34:33Deutrie.
34:34Of course, the weather forecast looks perfect for a stroll into town tomorrow,
34:38but don't forget to vote on the way to the ice cream van.
34:42And can I just say, from all of us here,
34:43and of course, we would say this to candidates from all the parties,
34:47that we wish you the very best of luck winning Cochester.
34:50Well, of course, I'm hoping to continue to serve the fine people of Cochester,
34:54but frankly, I'm already the luckiest man alive.
34:57And in fact, Sarah and I expect to be rather busy in the coming months.
35:00Oh, well, wonderful.
35:01Because we're having a baby.
35:10I'm sorry, what?
35:13We, uh, could be happier, actually.
35:16Of course, things have changed since I first became a father.
35:18I gather men change nappies now.
35:23Well, and, uh, how wonderful to hear it here first on Cotswold Roundup.
35:28Now, after the break, pie, cottage, shepherds, or just humble?
35:32Christ!
35:34Oh, how the bloody hell did he find out?
35:36I didn't tell him, I swear.
35:38So we don't know who it was, but we don't know what else they know.
35:43Oh, my God.
35:44I'm going to have to go through with it now.
35:51People have babies every day.
35:53You'll work it out.
35:56Go home and celebrate with your husband.
36:03It's uncensored tonight.
36:05Please, let me do the show.
36:07Please, let me be brilliant and make it up to you.
36:09You're in no state.
36:09BG will do without you as plan.
36:11But...
36:11We're not changing the show now.
36:13I told you you're off the show until you sort your little problem out.
36:16To my eyes, the problem has.
36:18If anything, it's suddenly got rather bigger, hasn't it?
36:21Go on.
36:33We're going to do it tonight.
36:34Just as planned.
36:36Oh, yes.
36:37All guns blazing.
36:40Change it.
36:47How did you find out?
36:48I saw Winifred pregnant a number of times, remember?
36:51I know the signs.
36:55So, were you planning on telling me at any point over the next six months,
36:58or were you just going to pop out shopping Monday and come around for the baby?
37:02How could you expose me like that?
37:05On live television, announcing it like it was part of your election campaign?
37:09I announced it because I think you might be under some pressure to get rid of it.
37:17And I don't want you to.
37:20I heard Tony talking to you about a termination.
37:26Don't I get a say?
37:31It's my child, too.
37:39So selfish.
37:40I'm selfish.
37:41You were the one considering getting rid of it for the sake of your career.
37:44At least my career's going well.
37:46Do you know, a lot of women would be glad to have a baby with a father who's already been
37:49through it.
37:50Oh, yeah, I'm sure you were really invaluable.
37:52Did you trap Winifred?
37:54Hmm?
37:55Like you've trapped me.
37:57Unlike you, she wasn't constantly on the lookout for an escape.
37:59I bet she's glad she got one in the end.
38:02If you've disgusted her even half as much as you disgust me.
38:06God.
38:07Do you know, I'm done.
38:08I'm done.
38:11I hope you lose your seat to the monster raving loonies.
38:22Mama.
38:23Hey, sweetheart.
38:24Hey, Tab.
38:25Did you have a good time?
38:26Yes, we really did.
38:27Oh, hi.
38:28Hi.
38:28Mummy, this is Peggy.
38:29Yes, we've met before.
38:31She's a babysitter and she is brilliant.
38:33I'm taking her to meet Biscuit.
38:34Come on.
38:35Oh, Marcus, you're coming?
38:39Babysitter.
38:40She's Declan O'Hara's daughter.
38:43There was a woman here this morning with a film crew.
38:45Carinium.
38:47You speak to them?
38:48No, of course not.
38:48I told her to get the hell off of my driveway.
38:51You should know there's some people sniffing around.
38:53It's the election, probably.
38:57How's Venice?
38:58Oh, cultural heaven.
39:00You want to see the photos?
39:03No, thank you.
39:04Oh, yeah.
39:09Oh, he's lovely, isn't he?
39:12He'll say hello for a polo.
39:13Look, do you want a polo biscuit?
39:17Ah!
39:19I think that's a yes.
39:21Oh, biscuit!
39:23Oh.
39:23Now, say hello to Taggy.
39:30Your children are very beautiful.
39:32Not surprising, I suppose, with such a beautiful mother.
39:36Is there agony when you see her now?
39:37Oh, agony.
39:38She brought the fucking tits off me.
39:40Can't think how I stayed married to her for seven years.
39:42How many of these puts up with it, don't I?
39:43Well, he's much older, isn't he?
39:44Yeah.
39:45When he talks about the war, he means the Crimean.
39:50Well.
39:51How did you meet him?
39:52He was my chef to keep.
39:53Oh, a chef, like me.
39:56No, um...
39:57Why?
39:58Chef, as in Bob's French.
39:59He ran the British showtopic team.
40:00Ah.
40:01I suppose he was my mentor, my Mr. Miyagi.
40:06Must have been hard to lose him, Tyler.
40:10The only thing that really irks me is that Millie's succeeded where I failed.
40:19I can't honestly say that I've ever made any woman happy.
40:24Not for very long.
40:31Well, I'll babysit any time you like.
40:34I mean, I don't want to tread on Cameron's toes.
40:36Oh, God, I wish Cameron could handle the kids as well as you do.
40:41You're going to make an incredible mother one day.
40:46I wish...
40:55You're lovely with them.
40:58Seen a different side of you today.
41:18It's been a lovely day.
41:19One of those days you don't want a son to go back.
41:25You know, by the time Helen left me, I could hardly better look at her.
41:29I think she had done.
41:32Just because of the hurt I could see in her eyes.
41:44I must never do it again.
41:50I mean it, Tag.
41:51I mustn't.
41:52I won't break you, too.
41:55I won't break you, too.
42:05I did it.
42:06I left him.
42:07I left Paul.
42:08Oh, Jesus.
42:11I should go.
42:13Thanks for today.
42:14I'll call.
42:14I'm sorry.
42:15I'm sorry.
42:16I didn't know where else to go.
42:18I don't really have any friends.
42:31I love a cheese sandwich.
42:33Thanks, Shelley.
42:36Is that chutney?
42:37No, it's jam.
42:40We're back.
42:42Surprise.
42:42Hello, guys.
42:43You're not back till tomorrow?
42:44We raced home to tell you the news.
42:46You tell them.
42:47No, you.
42:48The BBC called me at the hotel in Ireland.
42:51They've greenlit Yeats.
42:53That's amazing.
42:54Oh, thank Christ.
42:56So now I can cut the tags off my Ventura T-shirt?
42:59You can.
43:03But, oh, my God, they want it delivered in three months.
43:05We got an early flight back because there's so much to do.
43:08Let's get to work.
43:12Why was Taggy O'Hara here?
43:14Babysitting.
43:14I was worried when I found you with her in my pantry.
43:17She's far too young.
43:19What does age even mean?
43:23It's just a number.
43:24Yeah, it's just a number now.
43:25Imagine what it'd be like in a few years.
43:26It'd be like me and Paul.
43:27Oh, God.
43:28Sarah.
43:31Why are you here?
43:33Uncensored's going out tonight without me.
43:36BT's presenting it solo, and I think she's going to stitch me up.
43:40I think she knows something about me.
43:45And now everything's going to be ruined.
43:48She's going to crucify me live on national television.
43:52I think that's okay.
43:53Now, get off.
44:02I think she's going to be...
44:28We're in to go live.
44:32Five, four, three, two, one.
44:38In QBT.
44:40Good evening, and welcome to Uncensored, the naughtiest show on the network.
44:45The beady-eyed among you might have noticed I'm by myself this evening.
44:49Sarah's getting some rest.
44:50Due to the pregnancy announced this afternoon on Carinium.
44:52On tonight's very special edition, we uncover the scandal behind the polished facade of a national treasure.
44:58Here we go.
44:59Whatever she says about you, we'll work it out.
45:02Okay?
45:03Minister for Sport, Rupert Campbell Black.
45:09You might want to fasten your seatbelts for this.
45:11It's going to be quite a ride.
45:26A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
45:32-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
45:38-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
45:48-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
45:49-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
45:51-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
45:52МУЗЫКАЛЬНАЯ ЗАСТАВКА
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