00:00My name is Serena Kerrigan, and people know me as the queen of confidence.
00:05But that wasn't always the case.
00:08My self-esteem used to be completely dependent on attention from other people.
00:11I was constantly comparing myself to everyone else.
00:18To overcome that insecurity, I created a persona.
00:22SFK.
00:23It stands for Serena Effing Kerrigan.
00:26I projected an image of confidence out to the world at times when I didn't even have it.
00:30After years of practice, SFK ceased to be a persona.
00:32I became her.
00:34I'm extra.
00:35I don't care what people think about me.
00:37And guess what?
00:38I love myself.
00:39But I know it's not easy to get there, so I want to share that power with other people
00:43to help them unlock their confidence to reach their full potential.
00:47All they have to do is ask Serena.
00:55Today's submission is from a girl named Alex, who's recently laid off from her first job.
00:59This has totally impacted her confidence and her ability to interview.
01:03Hey Serena.
01:04My name is Alex.
01:05I was recently laid off from my first job out of college, and I'm feeling pretty ashamed
01:11and embarrassed about it.
01:12I've been applying to jobs, and I've had a few interviews here and there, but I think
01:17maybe the shame is hindering my performance.
01:20So I could really use her help in getting my confidence back and nailing those interviews.
01:30Alex?
01:31Yes.
01:31I'm Serena.
01:32Hi, how are you?
01:33Nice to meet you.
01:34Nice to meet you too.
01:35Thanks so much for having me.
01:36Yeah, of course.
01:36Come on in.
01:38Alright, so tell me about why you asked me for her help.
01:40So basically, I just got laid off from my first publishing job and my first job right
01:47out of college.
01:47I'd been working there for two years.
01:49In the days following, I was a total mess.
01:52It felt like a breakup.
01:54I just like didn't know what to do.
01:56It was a breakup.
01:57Yeah.
01:57Every day I wake up and, you know, apply for jobs, and I've gotten a few interviews here
02:02and there, but I never seem to actually land the job.
02:05I counted yesterday and I had, I think I currently have like 54 cover letters that I've written
02:12so far, so it's hard to keep that motivation and hope alive and it's really easy to feel
02:18discouraged.
02:19And so I could really use your help getting my confidence back and being, you know, better
02:23at interviewing.
02:24Talk to me what happens when you're interviewing.
02:27I think the biggest issue is I'm just really in my head.
02:30I'm also naturally kind of shy or introverted.
02:34I just am not the type of person that comes in and starts like being very excited.
02:41Interviews are about selling yourself.
02:43So it's hard to do that when you're a little more shy and reserved.
02:47Yeah.
02:47I feel like you feeling self-conscious, probably a lot of it has to do with the fact that you
02:52were laid off.
02:53I think this feels like a big heavy secret rooted in that shame and embarrassment.
03:00It's okay to be like, I'm smart and I work hard.
03:04Yeah.
03:05It's still like hard for me to like actually say that.
03:08Yeah.
03:08Okay.
03:08Well, by the end of this, we're going to have you say it.
03:10You're going to scream it at the top of your lungs.
03:12You trust me?
03:13Yeah.
03:14Yeah.
03:14It's scary, but okay.
03:15We're going to do this.
03:20Okay, Alex.
03:21We are at Jack Studios and I have a special guest who's going to help you with your confidence
03:24to nail that interview.
03:26Let's go.
03:26Okay.
03:27Come on.
03:35Oh, special guest.
03:40Voila, baby.
03:43Welcome.
03:44Hi.
03:45Alex, this is Yuha.
03:46You might recognize her from season 10 of RuPaul's Drag Race.
03:50She dances and performs in front of millions of people on national television.
03:54So who better to prepare you for a mock interview?
03:59I hate mock interviews.
04:01Perfect.
04:02Welcome to my office, Alex.
04:04How are you feeling?
04:05A little nervous, but I'm okay.
04:07Why are you nervous though?
04:08I don't know.
04:09I just get anxious.
04:12Shall we get started with the first question?
04:14Sure.
04:15What are your biggest strengths?
04:17Oh my God.
04:21I'm a good writer.
04:25I think.
04:27I'm organized and I would say determined.
04:33I just want to give you a little feedback on that, okay?
04:36If you have confidence in yourself, then other people will have confidence in you.
04:40Got it?
04:40Okay.
04:41You go girl.
04:48It's time for a compliment battle.
04:51Here are the rules.
04:52Number one, direct eye contact.
04:55Number two, you must say the first thing that comes to mind.
04:59And number three, if you messed up, you have to start all again from the top.
05:07I love your eyelashes.
05:11Okay.
05:12I like how your jewelry matches your outfit.
05:15I like that you're a soft, gentle person.
05:18I like how generous you are in giving your time and sharing that with me.
05:23I like the positive energy that you put out into this world.
05:26We need more of that.
05:27I really admire your confidence and the way you carry yourself.
05:33Okay ladies, it's time for round two.
05:35You were able to compliment each other, but now it's time to compliment yourselves.
05:39I want to hear you say it loud and proud and strong in three, two, one.
05:48I enjoy that I put my happiness first.
05:53Direct eye contact.
05:56I like that I'm a caring person.
05:59I like that I am a go-getter.
06:01I don't give up.
06:03I have good values.
06:09All right ladies, now it is time for round three.
06:13We are going to apply the compliment battle to the interview process.
06:16Yuha is going to ask you a question from the mock interview.
06:19I want to hear you scream.
06:21Okay?
06:23Okay.
06:23Okay.
06:25All right Alex, now tell me baby, what are your greatest strengths?
06:30Scream it out baby.
06:33I'm organized, I'm determined, and I'm a good writer.
06:38That's great, but I need to hear you say it louder.
06:40And remember eye contact, okay?
06:43Sell it to me.
06:44I'm organized.
06:45Okay.
06:46I'm determined.
06:47Say it strong.
06:48I'm determined.
06:49Say it.
06:49Come on.
06:50I'm determined.
06:51Okay.
06:52I like that.
06:56And I'm a good writer.
06:57Oh no, that was no.
06:58I didn't believe in that.
07:00That was not a good.
07:00Hand on the hip.
07:01Give me some attitude.
07:02Give me some attitude.
07:04I'm determined.
07:05I'm a good writer.
07:07Yup.
07:07And I'm organized.
07:20Hey Alex, we are in the Refinery29 studio.
07:24I've done plenty of photo shoots here.
07:27And today, you will be doing a photo shoot.
07:29Because while it might not seem intuitive, photo shoots actually really help me when I'm
07:33feeling insecure.
07:34Also, a new LinkedIn photo to revamp that profile.
07:38I want a good photo shoot.
07:41People are going to be so blown away.
07:43All right Alex, my friends at Elqui sent me these amazing jackets.
07:46I want you to pick something out that makes you feel, you know, like you're going to get
07:50that job.
07:52Alex!
07:54Dude, you look amazing.
07:56You literally look beautiful.
07:57So a little hand on hip action.
07:59And literally look at that camera lens and be like, I'm going to rock you.
08:03I'm going to get this job.
08:04Are you laughing?
08:05Sorry.
08:06It's okay.
08:14Yup.
08:15You get that job.
08:17Today was definitely different than anything I've ever done before.
08:21I think I'm most anxious about seeing myself in the pictures.
08:25Yes!
08:27Hopefully I'm not self-critical of them.
08:35Okay Alex, we finally have the photos from our photo shoot.
08:39Are you excited to see them?
08:40Excited.
08:41Nervous.
08:41Yeah.
08:44Okay.
08:45I'm not a fan of that.
08:46Okay.
08:47Oh my God.
08:48It's okay.
08:50That's a great picture.
08:52I don't normally take, make that face in pictures.
08:56Right.
08:56Or light.
08:57No problem.
08:58Next.
09:00I just don't, I don't know.
09:02Sorry.
09:03That's okay.
09:07Why don't you like yourself in this photo?
09:09I feel like part of it is like, I look at it and feel like, why is she confident?
09:16Like she doesn't have anything.
09:17That's kind of a message that an important person in my life has communicated to me.
09:23And so that's like shaped how I like, view myself.
09:28Can you look at me for a second?
09:29So let's say someone says that.
09:32Who cares about their opinion?
09:34They cannot write the narrative of your identity and if you love yourself.
09:38Like that's only in your control.
09:41You are worthy.
09:42You are.
09:43You've opened up and told your story for us to hear, which takes a lot of courage.
09:50But the only one who has to believe it is yourself.
09:54Yeah.
09:56Yeah.
09:56It's not a drag queen.
09:58It's not a corporate man interviewing me.
10:02It's not a supermodel on a magazine.
10:04It's just a part of me that I didn't really have access to or let myself have access to before.
10:13I feel like LinkedIn is ready for this Alex.
10:17Should we change your LinkedIn photo?
10:19Yeah.
10:19We should do it.
10:20Yes!
10:22It's you.
10:23And you can see her now.
10:30Bringing this back to your job situation, you told me that you haven't told anyone because
10:34you feel really ashamed.
10:36Yeah.
10:36There's nothing to be ashamed about.
10:38If you posted this photo with a caption that was something like, hey, this is a little tough for me
10:45to post.
10:45But I was recently laid off and it really impacted my confidence.
10:50And now I'm ready to hit the job front.
10:55Yeah.
10:55And I'm ready for the next chapter of my life.
10:57I think I can do it.
11:01This is really difficult for me to post, but here goes nothing.
11:05I was recently laid off.
11:08For most of you, this is probably the first time you're hearing about this.
11:12Why?
11:13Because I've been too afraid to tell anyone.
11:16For the past few weeks, I've been living in a small world, suffocated by shame and embarrassment.
11:23I thought being laid off was something to hide, like a dirty secret.
11:28What would people say?
11:29What would they think?
11:31I was so afraid of being judged.
11:33But recently, I remembered something.
11:36There is power in vulnerability.
11:38There is power in sharing your story.
11:41Somewhere along the way, I forgot this.
11:44It's safe to hide.
11:46But safety keeps you stuck.
11:48And I don't want to be stuck anymore.
11:51So this is me, without a job, moving forward one day at a time.
11:58Secrets out.
12:00I'm really, really, really proud of you.
12:02I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own, so.
12:05Disagree.
12:06But you did it.
12:08And it was scary, but exciting.
12:10I'm so excited for this new chapter that you're writing.
12:14Because you're a really, really good writer.
12:26Hey, Serena.
12:27I just got back from my first interview since our journey together.
12:31I went in and just tried to sell myself as best as I could.
12:35I have a few interviews lined up, which is also really exciting, and I'm hopeful about those.
12:40Thank you so much.
12:47Hey, guys.
12:48Thanks so much for watching.
12:49Thanks so much for watching.
12:49To subscribe to Refinery29, click here.
12:52To watch more videos, click here.
12:54And if you or someone you know is in need of a confidence boost, submit through the form
12:58in the description below.
13:00We'll see you next time.
13:01We'll see you next time.
13:01We'll see you next time.
13:01We'll see you next time.
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