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7 Days - Season 18 - Episode 06: Thursday March 26, 2026
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00:18Hello, yes, you have done it.
00:21You have successfully turned on your television and navigated to three, and now you're about
00:26to soak in the goodness that is seven days.
00:28My name is Jeremy Corbett.
00:29Hello, it is time to oil up and roll around in the week's news.
00:32Let's meet tonight's team, shall we?
00:35And the leader of Team 1 is a bit like the Broccoli of New Zealand comedy.
00:38Yeah, fluffy on top, takes a while to get used to, and most kids hate him.
00:40It's Josh Thompson.
00:45Thank you very much, Jeremy.
00:47We have a very special team tonight.
00:48They are legally married, although have still refused to adopt me.
00:53We have Michelle, who has recently been made an officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit.
00:58Yes.
01:01And Jeremy is here as well.
01:03So, give it up for Comedy Power.
01:06Come on, Jeremy Corbett.
01:08And leading Team 2, for the first time ever, a young man doing his bit to save fuel by not
01:14being old enough to drive.
01:15It's Jack Ansatz.
01:17Oh, I know.
01:19Thank you so much for the promotion, Daddy, I guess.
01:25Great team on Team 2 tonight, Jeremy.
01:27She's an amazing comedian, and he is also an amazing comedian.
01:31And I'm being really kind because, to be honest, I'm kind of scared of both of them.
01:34We have Justine Smith and Corey Gonzalez.
01:41Well done, Jack.
01:43Well done, Jack.
01:43Let's take the first bite of the cherry, the game of newsmakers.
01:45Teams, I will play you a clip from one of the newsiest news stories of the week.
01:49You just need to tell me what it's all about.
01:51And Team 1, we will start with you.
01:52As per, here's your clip.
01:54And in Thailand, they're telling people to turn off their aircon and wear lighter clothes.
01:59Newsreaders lead by example.
02:01Well, they did say Thailand, but I will say they aren't wearing any Thais.
02:06Yeah, yeah.
02:07We're lucky they're wearing shirts, to be honest.
02:09But, no, I think that was the giveaway, though, right?
02:11Talking about turning off your air conditioning and trying to save fuel.
02:16Oh, I see.
02:16Yes, yes.
02:17Well, this must be the Thai shortage, which is affecting the great nation of Thailand
02:23and they're thinking about changing their name to Land.
02:26You sort of got the linkers there, yeah.
02:28Due to some shenanigans in the Straits of Hormuz, you may have heard about,
02:31we have entered a fuel crisis.
02:33Government has announced a relief package for low-income families,
02:35along with a number of innovative ways to help save energy,
02:39just as they were on that show.
02:40I'm an energy saver.
02:42I'm on board.
02:42I even unplug appliances when I'm not using them,
02:44which works well at home, but I'm not allowed back to that hospice.
02:49Damn.
02:50Oh.
02:51Wow.
02:53Didn't seem to be using it.
02:55Just lying there.
02:56Just that annoying beep.
02:59No, I think I speak on behalf of most New Zealanders when I say
03:02I'd rather spend $4 a litre on gas
03:04than admit that electric vehicle owners were right.
03:08One thing you can do is I always park at the highest point in the city.
03:13So I park on Mount Eden,
03:15and then all you do is take the handbrake off,
03:17and as long as the tourists and the kids get out of your way,
03:20it's a pretty good run.
03:21But you've still got to use petrol to get back up there to park at the end of the day.
03:25Yeah, it does have a downside.
03:28I've been personally saving energy by having a little nap in the afternoon
03:32and also staying quite pissed so that I can't drive.
03:41I do something similar, Jess.
03:43I stop drinking and realise I don't like most people,
03:47so I save petrol by not getting invited to anything.
03:51I'm kind of similar to you guys.
03:53I stop kind of using petrol because I'm just at home all the time,
03:56so I recommend getting depression.
03:59I've been trying everything,
04:00but do you have any idea how hard it is to put petrol through as brown onions?
04:04I mean, there's a lot of...
04:08You know, everyone's suggesting using public transport,
04:10which I think is a good idea, and I've been doing that.
04:13I've been popping down to the Ranui bus station
04:15and siphoning gas out of the buses.
04:17Oh, right.
04:19What's the thing about taking public transport
04:21is that when you arrive at work smelling of wheeze,
04:24you can blame it on that.
04:26Yes.
04:26The New Zealand police are actually cutting fuel.
04:29They're only responding to crimes that are on a bus route.
04:32And there are also fewer RAM rates now
04:35because people can't afford to drive into Michael Hill
04:37and just take the jewellery, which is worth less.
04:40Times are pretty bad.
04:41I even caught Corbett putting up posters
04:43for advertising for someone to go siphoning with at night time.
04:47We're actually meeting up at Mount Eden Car Park tonight.
04:49Is that right, Corbett?
04:50If anyone wants to join.
04:51We don't need to talk about it out loud.
04:52For the siphoning?
04:53I don't think siphoning means what you think it means.
04:56Oh, OK.
04:58I've done some siphoning in car parks,
05:00but there was no gas involved.
05:01Oh, no.
05:03All right, team two, you are up.
05:05Your turn.
05:06What's the gist of this clip, please?
05:07I didn't even see...
05:10I didn't even see a woman and a child.
05:13Like, I did not...
05:14No-one came up to me.
05:15No-one bothered me.
05:17Oh, God.
05:18Was she going more than 40k in a school zone?
05:22Is that me on the Titanic
05:23justifying why I elbowed my way into the lifeboat?
05:27That is, no, that is, um, Chapel Roan.
05:30Oh, that's my job.
05:32Your team can help out.
05:34No, no, no.
05:35You just need to summarise.
05:36Yeah, not my captain.
05:37Um, so...
05:39I'm the captain.
05:41Uh, yeah, so she's, uh...
05:43She was doing a concert somewhere,
05:44and apparently she's really a bit of a bitch.
05:46Oh.
05:47Yeah.
05:48So, basically, what, Corey?
05:51Pop star Chapel Roan posted an apology video,
05:53which you just saw a bit of,
05:54after her security guard
05:55made an 11-year-old superfan cry
05:58at a hotel buffet in Brazil.
06:00Poor little girl.
06:01Um, actually, I've only ever approached
06:03a celebrity once at breakfast.
06:05Um, it was Hilary Barry, actually.
06:07And I'll never forget what she said to me.
06:09She said,
06:09How did you get into my kitchen?
06:12So...
06:14I had the same thing.
06:15I, um...
06:15I actually met a celebrity at a restaurant
06:17a few weeks ago, um...
06:18You know, Brooke Fraser?
06:19Oh, yes.
06:20And I was like,
06:21I'm actually done for now.
06:22Thank you, Taylor.
06:27I'm starting to get a bit of a whiff of fame,
06:29and this is because...
06:31No, I...
06:31That's not what they're saying.
06:32You are sitting quite close to me.
06:34Yeah, yeah.
06:34But, basically,
06:35what happened the other day was
06:36there were some kids whispering behind me,
06:38and they were like,
06:39That's Jack Ansett.
06:40He's on TV, right?
06:42And then the other one went,
06:42Nah, it can't be.
06:43And the other one went,
06:44Why?
06:44And then the other one went,
06:45Cos he's on the bus.
06:47Yeah.
06:48I was like,
06:49Yeah.
06:49Oh, sorry, kids,
06:50the Lambo's in the garage.
06:52Hey, can we...
06:53Can we show that photo at 7.30?
06:55Yeah, I reckon.
06:56Like...
06:56Oh, yeah.
06:57I mean, it's...
06:58I mean, I'm sweet with it,
06:59but it's just like, um...
07:00I mean, is that...
07:01That looks like she said,
07:03I'll just throw something on and missed.
07:06Like...
07:08Like, I've caught things on my nipples before,
07:10but I haven't then gone out to an occasion.
07:12You've noticed before you get out the door, yeah.
07:14Are we allowed to say that, Corey?
07:17I don't know if they've changed that,
07:18but apparently...
07:19Corey's not looking at it.
07:20Apparently they're prosthetic.
07:22Oh, the boobs.
07:23What, no, the bit that she's hanging the dress on
07:25is prosthetic.
07:26Oh, hang on!
07:27Hang on!
07:28Don't know!
07:30Let's just have a look here.
07:33If I wore that dress,
07:35that fabric would be keeping my ankles warm.
07:37Yeah.
07:40It looks like she's pulling, like, hankies out of them.
07:44Like, she's just going,
07:45Oh, and there's more!
07:46And there's more!
07:47All right, good round of newsmakers.
07:49Great way to kick off this week's show.
07:51Team One, for points you can have,
07:521992, 1,992.
07:54That's the year of the recording of the song
07:56Pō Ata Rau
07:57by a Turikina Māori Girls College Choir.
08:00Appears in the new Ryan Gosling movie.
08:02Yeah, Project Hail Mary
08:04and Goosebumps stuff.
08:05All right, you get that.
08:06$10,000 for you, Team Two.
08:07Cost of a ticket to a dinner
08:08with Prime Minister Christopher Luxon
08:10during the National Party's fundraiser
08:12at the Christchurch Town Hall next month.
08:14I'm sure they will be snapped up.
08:16What that does mean is
08:17it's a star for Newsmaker Team Two.
08:23Worth mentioning,
08:23a star is more than just something
08:25I look up to in the night sky.
08:26It makes me ponder my insignificance.
08:28It's also how we keep score on seven days.
08:30At the end of the night,
08:31the team with the most stars
08:32will win an incredible prize.
08:33This week, I will lend the winning team
08:35full use of my own personal mode of transport.
08:38There it is, my palanquin.
08:40Oh, my God.
08:40Yeah, check it out.
08:41There's an extra incentive
08:43because the winning captain
08:44will be carried around all week
08:45by the losing team.
08:48Time now on Seven Days
08:49for a game of Guest Two
08:50where we wheel out a notable name
08:51from the news,
08:52very skilfully disguise them
08:54by putting a big sack on their heads.
08:56Please welcome your Guest Two guests.
09:01I jump behind you.
09:02I walk you in.
09:03Three, two, one.
09:06Right, if you could just sort of stay there,
09:07that's perfect.
09:08So you're doing a yes or no.
09:11Give us a thumbs up or a thumbs down
09:12for a yes or a no.
09:13You get a thumbs down,
09:14it goes to the other team.
09:15Understand?
09:16You can start team one.
09:17Is he not talking?
09:18Is this a new...
09:18He's not talking.
09:19They never talk.
09:20No, they do talk.
09:21They do say yes or no,
09:22but I guess we're thinking
09:23maybe that might give them away.
09:25Oh, somebody with a voice.
09:26Oh, somebody with a voice.
09:28Are you Darth Vader?
09:31Oh.
09:33Is it sports related?
09:36Do you know what I mean?
09:37It's a yes.
09:38Yeah, okay.
09:38Oh, I'm out.
09:39Are you...
09:40Is it a...
09:40Wait, is it a sport that involves a ball?
09:44Yeah.
09:45Yeah.
09:46Oh, well, that narrows it down.
09:47Are you, uh...
09:48Did he used to be on All Black?
09:50Yeah.
09:51Oh, it's a...
09:52Are you...
09:53Ah, you just gotta know, my friend.
09:56We're still doing it.
09:57Did you recently resign as...
09:58No, but you just gotta know
09:59that it goes to us.
10:00He got a yes.
10:00He'd be quiet.
10:01Oh, did you?
10:02He said yes.
10:02Well, I'm sorry.
10:04I apologise to it.
10:05I apologise to you, sir.
10:07And to you.
10:08It's his question.
10:09You shut your mouth.
10:10Get in your corner.
10:11Get your team and controls up.
10:12Take your clothes off.
10:13This is a good way of introducing...
10:14My rules up.
10:15A good way of introducing a game
10:17we're gonna play next week
10:18called Guess What?
10:19Where you try and figure out
10:20what disease Josh has.
10:22Um, so we...
10:25All right, carry on, team two.
10:26Buck Shelford.
10:26Come on.
10:27What?
10:27It's Buck Shelford.
10:28Corey, trust me, I think I've got...
10:30I think I've got this.
10:31Oh, really?
10:31I'll knock you out.
10:32Trust me.
10:32Yeah, you can knock me out.
10:34Yeah, 100%.
10:35Oh, God.
10:35Yeah.
10:36So, from what you said before,
10:37I think...
10:37OK, I think I can get this.
10:38Ask your question.
10:39So, did you...
10:41Um, did I pee next to you...
10:43Wait.
10:43Well...
10:45In Venice Airport in 2023.
10:47You might not remember.
10:51Venice Airport in 2023.
10:53That's a no.
10:53All right, OK.
10:54My information's wrong.
10:55You seem to, uh...
10:56Yeah, you seem to hesitate
10:57when Corey asked
10:59if it was a sport involving a ball.
11:00Is that because that brings up
11:02some bad memories
11:03of a particular incident?
11:05Oh, I...
11:08Oh, OK.
11:09Oh, all right.
11:10It's a no.
11:11Just take it, man.
11:12Yeah, for God's sake.
11:13Well, I think it's Buck Shelford.
11:14Well, ask the question.
11:16Oh, are you Buck Shelford?
11:17Are you Sir Buck Shelford?
11:19Yes!
11:21It is.
11:22Sir Wayne Thomas Shelford.
11:26Thank you for joining us.
11:35Thank you for joining us, Wayne.
11:38Buck, I guess, is how everyone knows you.
11:40Although you were an all-black,
11:42that's not sort of why you're here this week,
11:43is it?
11:44Tell us.
11:45No, it's, um...
11:47Because I'm the ambassador
11:48for, um...
11:49testicular cancer.
11:51Right.
11:51And it's a growing cancer now
11:53and it's coming forward
11:55in a lot of teenagers.
11:56Mm.
11:57Oh.
11:57And so we actually now
11:59are just trying to get the teenagers
12:00to get their checks
12:01or do their checks independently.
12:03And we start...
12:05The 1st of April
12:06is the month for testicular cancer.
12:08Right.
12:08So there's going to be
12:09some great footage coming out
12:12in regards to that.
12:14Yeah.
12:14And...
12:14Great.
12:15Can't wait.
12:17Wow.
12:17So, uh, lump lottery?
12:19Yes, the lump lottery,
12:20you can win a...
12:21Lump lottery,
12:22you win a jack, um...
12:23Four-wheel drive.
12:24Great.
12:24Pretty, um, pretty fitting.
12:26You're here to talk about sex
12:27and we put one on your head.
12:30Before we do get into it,
12:31the...
12:32Because it's a big thing, right?
12:33Like, checking,
12:34I think if you get it early,
12:35there's a 98% success rate of Q&A.
12:37Well, our woman folk,
12:39our ladies out there,
12:40we're actually way behind them
12:42as older men.
12:43That's where you belong.
12:44And we're not...
12:45LAUGHTER
12:47And we're not teaching our sons
12:49whereas our women
12:50look after our daughters.
12:51Yep.
12:52Yeah.
12:52Our mums look after the daughters
12:53really, really well
12:54whereas the men
12:54don't look after their sons
12:55because they don't like
12:56talking about it.
12:57Well, people...
12:58They don't even like
12:58going to the doctors themselves.
13:00Hey, Josh.
13:00Oh, fine, I'll go.
13:02No, I get checked a lot.
13:04LAUGHTER
13:04You like it?
13:06It's all right.
13:06It's pretty good, actually.
13:08Mark, it's not often
13:09we have someone
13:10of your stature on the show
13:11and so that photo there,
13:13is that the 87 World Cup?
13:14No.
13:15No?
13:16LAUGHTER
13:18Nice job.
13:19That is low.
13:19That is the plan is low.
13:20But you were in the 87
13:22World Cup winning team,
13:23weren't you?
13:23Have you ever bought
13:24a beer since then?
13:26Not a lot.
13:28And then you became captain,
13:29I think, for about three years,
13:31is that right?
13:3287 to 90?
13:3387 to 90, yeah.
13:34Yeah.
13:35And how many games
13:36did the All Blacks lose
13:37during your captaincy?
13:38None.
13:39None.
13:42Can I, uh...
13:45No, we didn't play
13:46as much rugby
13:47as what they do today.
13:48They play 15 games a year,
13:49we played five.
13:50Yeah.
13:51Five or six per annum.
13:52But then, infamously,
13:53you were dismissed
13:55from the team
13:56and that's where
13:57the Bring Back Buck
13:58started from.
13:59Do you still get
13:59the Bring Back Buck?
14:00Did that ever stop?
14:01It went on for years.
14:02It cost me a lot of money
14:03to keep it going.
14:06LAUGHTER
14:11I didn't have time
14:12to come back.
14:13Yeah.
14:13Have you ever experienced
14:14the fact that
14:15when it comes to
14:16talking about men's health
14:17and particularly anything
14:18to do with, like,
14:19testicular area,
14:20it far too often
14:22gets sidetracked
14:22by sad old man
14:23talking about rugby?
14:26Well, um,
14:27I suppose part and parcel
14:29of that problem
14:31I had many years ago,
14:32they just cleaned it up,
14:34sewed it up,
14:35put it back in
14:35and we carried on
14:36with life.
14:38And I had a hernia
14:39last year
14:40and basically
14:40the surgeon went in
14:42and he said,
14:43what a bloody mess
14:43that was in there.
14:44Oh, really?
14:45Well, the scar tissue.
14:46Right, OK.
14:47Because when it came out
14:49it was down by my knees.
14:52I can't understand
14:53why we don't talk
14:54about this more.
14:56That's the best thing
14:57that's ever happened.
14:58How do you keep playing?
15:00I mean...
15:00Well, I picked up
15:01the little puppy
15:01and, you know,
15:02they're pretty big,
15:03you know,
15:03outside the sack.
15:05You know?
15:05You have a doppelganger
15:06with one testicle
15:07at Venice Airport.
15:11Great stuff.
15:12Give it up
15:12for Buck Shelford.
15:13Sir Buck Shelford.
15:14Thank you so much.
15:16Thank you, Jeremy.
15:17All this.
15:17All this.
15:18You are done.
15:19And congratulations.
15:20Team 2 gets the star.
15:22Well done.
15:25How good is that?
15:26Real New Zealand royalty
15:28in studio.
15:29The mess is there.
15:29Check your nuts.
15:30All right.
15:31Let's keep cooking
15:32with the burger
15:32for your brain grill.
15:33This week we're going
15:34to party like it's 1999.
15:36That's when we're
15:36going back to Team 1 Europe.
15:38I'd like you to cast
15:39your eyes to the screen
15:40and tell me what
15:41this is all about.
15:42It has disgusted
15:43many Aucklanders,
15:44sparking a steady stream
15:45of onlookers
15:46since the news broke
15:47this morning.
15:48This is Jeremy Corbett's
15:49first and only
15:50topless photo shoot.
15:52Was it when I very
15:54bravely wore
15:55Chappelle Rhone's dress?
15:58That was the cutting
15:59down of the titular
16:00tree on One Tree Hill
16:02by Māori activist
16:03Mike Smith.
16:04Unfortunately,
16:04cutting down the tree
16:05on One Tree Hill
16:05still not enough
16:06to stop you two
16:07from releasing new music.
16:08All right.
16:09Time for another break.
16:10Don't go anywhere
16:10because shortly
16:11we'll be spinning
16:12our chairs around
16:13for Cassie Henderson
16:14in Slicer 7
16:15on 7 Days.
16:16CHEERING
16:28Oh, rock on New Zealand
16:30and welcome back
16:31to 7 Days.
16:32It is time to put on
16:32your festy fits
16:33and start preloading
16:34because it's
16:34Slicer 7 time
16:35and on the main stage
16:36we have pop superstar
16:37Cassie Henderson.
16:39CHEERING
16:42OK, teens,
16:43pretty straightforward.
16:44Cassie will serenade you
16:45with some songs
16:46that have been cleverly
16:46rewritten to contain
16:47hints to some
16:48banging news stories.
16:49Team One,
16:50you are up first.
16:51Are you ready?
16:52Yes.
16:53Cassie,
16:53in your own time.
16:54Take it away.
16:59A long time ago
17:03We had a referendum
17:05We all said no
17:08Cost over 20 million
17:11Ten years have passed
17:13So fly at half-mast
17:16But what should we put
17:19on the poles
17:20I guess we'll just
17:24chuck up the old one
17:26and see
17:27Cause nobody wanted
17:30a new flag junkie
17:33All the designs were
17:36cursed and chunky
17:38Most sweat advised by
17:42Old white honkies
17:44Like Corby
17:46Sorry
17:46Oh
17:51No thanks
17:54New flag
17:56Now people will still think
18:01we're Aussie
18:02The new flag
18:05The old flag
18:09Always should have picked
18:11the laser kiwi
18:22What a song
18:23Amazing, amazing.
18:24It was like you took my brain out
18:26and you put it in a bowl
18:27of warm custard.
18:29That's a good thing.
18:30That's the first time
18:31I've been called an old honky
18:32in song
18:32and I feel quite proud.
18:33Yeah, you did.
18:34It was good.
18:35In the beginning
18:36I thought when she said
18:37when you said referendum
18:38I thought we were talking
18:38about the euthanasia referendum
18:40which I voted in favour of
18:42because I thought that
18:43we were going to kill
18:43David Seymour at first
18:45but it wasn't that one.
18:48Well no, it's not that
18:49because we've got a weird
18:50weird run with referenda
18:51don't we?
18:52I mean, we're still
18:52like weed, no
18:53you know
18:54National identity
18:55which is what we'll get to
18:56in a second
18:57no, you know
18:57kill old people
18:58yeah, fuck you up
18:59but no, this is
19:01laser kiwi
19:02looking like Australia
19:04this is the flag
19:05from a while ago.
19:06Can I just interrupt
19:07to say that
19:07when you said
19:08the plural of referendum
19:09is referenda
19:10I found that really hot.
19:14I might go feed
19:15my octopi at home.
19:19That's another thing
19:20I've got in my house
19:21I'm not sure.
19:24Yes, as Jeremy
19:25rightly said
19:26the flag referendum
19:27was a thing
19:27that happened in the country
19:28and we remember it
19:29kindly.
19:30Why is it in the news?
19:32Yes.
19:34I'll tell you
19:35It's ten years old
19:36it's ten years old
19:37yes, correct
19:37this week marks
19:38ten whole years
19:38since New Zealand
19:39amazing isn't it
19:40they had that
19:4126 million dollar
19:41referendum
19:42to change
19:42our national flag
19:43problem with New Zealand
19:44is we don't
19:45really have pride
19:46I don't think
19:47in our flag
19:47so I googled
19:48pride flag
19:49and it was a rainbow
19:50I was like
19:51weird
19:52the guy holding it
19:53was absolutely jacked though
19:55well we all really wanted
19:57if we were going to change
19:59it was just the silver fern
20:00on the black flag
20:00which was kind of
20:01already in existence
20:02but that wasn't an option
20:03thank you Isis
20:07there's a similar debate
20:08happening in the United States
20:09at the moment
20:10where they're trying to decide
20:10between the stars and stripes
20:12and the
20:13I think it's pronounced
20:14swastika
20:16jeez
20:17remember the final as well
20:19it was like down to like
20:20four ferns
20:21but it were just
20:22different colours
20:23the ones behind you
20:25oh yeah yeah
20:26I mean it's like
20:27it's not like a referendum
20:28it's like a
20:29HR firm
20:30coming up with a new logo
20:31for a mid-tier accounting firm
20:33yeah
20:34what was it
20:35Laser Kiwi
20:35that's the one we should have got
20:36you know that was actually a photo
20:37it was just taken on an oppo
20:39oh
20:39the problem is
20:41you can't have a Laser Kiwi
20:43as our flag
20:43because that would give away
20:44our defence secrets
20:45yeah true
20:46if we wanted the Laser Kiwi flag
20:48to get through
20:49we probably should have done
20:50the weed referendum
20:50before the flag referendum
20:56it's not
20:57because a lot of people
20:58didn't vote for a new flag
20:59it's not
21:00I don't think anyone
21:01likes the flag you know
21:02it's just
21:03it's just
21:03oh I'll give it a four stars
21:05it's not bad
21:08thank you
21:09good night
21:10it's doing
21:10it's doing alright now
21:12team two
21:13it is your turn now
21:14Calum
21:14what news story
21:15Cassie is singing about here
21:16I'm not scared of the coming apocalypse
21:20cause I dug a hole in the middle of my basement
21:25please visit me
21:26I packed four DVDs
21:32and now I've loaded up on cans
21:35to live under the land
21:37I said goodbye to tans
21:39now it's time to hunker down
21:45oh this bunker ought to fit us both in
21:50better vibes than the one in Berlin
21:54I'm not scared to cut my own hair
21:58I'm willing to share my last tin of cat food
22:04yeah we'll all be dead soon
22:12wow what do we
22:13what do we think
22:14um I heard a lot of stuff about underground
22:16underground yeah
22:17underground Berlin
22:17so
22:18yeah okay
22:19yeah
22:20well I think I know
22:21we can talk it over a bit more
22:22oh you want to
22:23yeah
22:24you're not confident with me
22:26we're not confident with you at all
22:27Jack
22:28um
22:29it's made having a captain on work experience
22:33alright
22:34bunkers
22:34bunkers
22:35I reckon it's about
22:37end of the world
22:38yeah
22:38because you think everyone's going to die
22:39yeah
22:40end of the world
22:40okay
22:41Jeremy
22:42people are getting more into bunkers
22:45which you would know all about
22:46from the London Blitz
22:47when you were on your OE
22:48I don't know
22:49um
22:50with all the troubles in the world
22:52there's been an increase in people
22:54inquiring about building a bunker in New Zealand
22:55to avoid the incoming apocalypse
22:57a lot of people are doing
22:59my wife has actually started work on one
23:01in our backyard
23:01yeah
23:02she hasn't made much progress
23:04to be honest
23:04the hole's only about six foot deep
23:06in about as long as I am
23:07that's it
23:09not a great effort
23:10if I'm honest
23:11didn't she just get her gun licence as well
23:12yeah got her gun licence
23:13yeah
23:13and also she's not digging it
23:14it's the pool guy
23:15yeah
23:16yeah
23:17off the shirt off
23:18real hot
23:18he is jacked
23:19fuck he is
23:20I feel like the only type of people
23:22who like bunkers
23:24are billionaires
23:25or Joseph Fritzl
23:26and to be honest
23:26I don't know who I trust less
23:28yeah
23:29but you don't need to necessarily
23:30get an invite to someone's bunker
23:32it doesn't always happen
23:33yeah it hasn't stopped you in the past
23:35has it
23:37hi Hilary
23:38found your bunker
23:42it's not always a case of being invited into someone's bunker
23:44or building your own
23:45sometimes you just wake up
23:46and like you're in the bunker
23:48and you don't know how you got there
23:49eh Tomo
23:53yeah I'm not sure the idea of spending the entire apocalypse
23:56in an underground location with Josh and canned goods
24:00is my idea of living the dream
24:02well when the cans run out
24:04let's see who lasts mate
24:06great stuff from Cassie Henderson
24:08on the show for Slice 7
24:10you can catch her in Auckland Christchurch
24:12this April on the Lightning and the Stars Tour
24:15tickets at CassieHenderson.com
24:17give it up for Cassie Henderson
24:18thank you Cassie
24:24absolutely outstanding
24:26for points
24:27team Wayne you're going to have 62,000
24:28that's the amount spent by the Whanganui District Council
24:31to design a new logo
24:33and that was completed after research found
24:35most residents could not recall the council's existing logo
24:39team 2
24:39you can have 1.1 million
24:41that is the amount per week
24:43in New Zealand dollars
24:44Liverpool player Mo Salah is giving up
24:46after terminating his contract 12 months early
24:49the Egyptian king has left the building
24:51and the staff for that round goes to team 2
24:56alright I'm going to get a photo with Cassie
24:58to get some clout on the socials
24:59while I do that
25:01let's take a break
25:01be back shortly with Club Topicana
25:03see you soon
25:15oh yes we are back
25:17you are back
25:17we're all doing seven days
25:19I hope you have enough gas in your tank
25:21to get to the coast
25:22because we're hitting the beach
25:23for Club Topicana
25:24play those steel drums
25:34just a little reminder
25:36as we do
25:37Club Topicana is brought to you by
25:38Dole Pineapples
25:39pineapples grow on the ground
25:41not in trees
25:42so shouldn't actually be called a pine apple
25:44should it
25:44should be called a pine potato
25:46inside my pine potato
25:47I have a selection of you stories
25:49that tickled my taste buds this week
25:50let's crack into them
25:51and see what the teams can give us
25:53here we go
25:53our first story
25:54a contestant on Maths Australia has complained
25:56she received what she calls
25:58a villain edit on the show
25:59it's good to know
26:00what an Australian villain would look like
26:02but I'd like to see something closer to home
26:04I'd like you to give me some examples
26:05of Kiwi super villains please
26:10oh yeah
26:10nah I'm not that evil
26:12I mean there's heaps of people
26:13more evil than me
26:14but cheers
26:19hi
26:20I'm the Briscoes lady
26:21and guess what
26:22the sales f***ing ended
26:25you missed it
26:31you're done for Batman
26:33I'm now going to lower you
26:35into this pool of bloodthirsty
26:38white tails
26:40enjoy your mild to moderate symptoms
26:53a census taker once tried to test me Clary
26:57I ate his liver with tomato sauce and a double brown
27:06so good
27:09New Zealand you had your chance 10 years ago
27:12but now laser Kiwi shall raise
27:15all of your buildings
27:20hey so what's your superpower
27:23it was kind of weird
27:24but I can get one of my testicles taken out
27:27and then I can put it back in myself
27:34I am traffic cone woman
27:36what's that
27:37a perfectly functioning intersection
27:40not on my watch
27:47welcome to my underground lair
27:49oh I've spent millions on it
27:52mainly on the resource consent
27:57oh it's got the bloody floodplains
27:59the council's not doing the better
28:00I tell you what
28:01so how many bloody rates do I have to pay
28:04you know what I'm saying
28:09oh Robin no I can't fight the penguin
28:12I can't
28:13why not Batman
28:14oh Kelly Tarleton's $50 entry
28:22yeah mr. bloody bond
28:25yeah buddy
28:25he's coming on
28:27he's trying to do a three-snake
28:29with a mate
28:30well you know
28:31I was coming on Friday
28:31so I put the second idea
28:35yeah
28:35he's having a gas
28:39alright
28:44let's go to our next story
28:45yes children's books
28:47Harry McCleary author
28:48Lindley Dodd
28:49received the Fisher Funds Legacy Award
28:51at the New Zealand Door of the Year celebrations last week
28:53well deserved
28:54Harry McCleary
28:55a wonderful family series
28:57but not particularly what I'm after
28:59I'd rather see examples of inappropriate children's books
29:03please
29:07Harry McCleary did a ram raid on Donaldson's Dairy
29:15well I got my Harry McCleary out at Donaldson's Dairy
29:19they asked me to leave
29:29it's time for the Beatrix Potter classic
29:32pedo rabbit
29:40tonight kids
29:42Bluey does a shoey
29:48and then James said
29:50this isn't the giant peach I was expecting
29:56God
29:57do you like green eggs and ham
30:00because ACT have got a new lunch plan
30:06Lotto have announced
30:07they're making the biggest changes
30:08to Powerball
30:09in 19 years
30:10the inclusion of four new balls
30:12it will make it harder to win
30:14but it is still possible
30:15I've always wanted to know
30:16what that would be like
30:17so teams
30:18give me some scenes
30:19from the first day
30:20of being a millionaire
30:24yeah mum
30:25good news
30:26yeah I can pay back
30:27a quarter of what I owe you
30:29cool
30:34go on
30:35fill it up
30:3698
30:42wow
30:43I can afford mints
30:49thank you for the invite
30:51Corby
30:52so tell me about this island
31:00$4.90
31:02I've just got this $5 note
31:06keep the change
31:11oh
31:13seat select on a flight
31:14don't mind if I do
31:24oh
31:25sorry mate
31:26I haven't got anything on me
31:28yeah but thanks for cleaning the windscreen though
31:35sorry mine
31:36you wound it down
31:37you can't electric it up
31:39I probably haven't got a new car
31:40it's my first day
31:41so
31:41have you got both
31:42you've got a winding and a
31:43shut your mouth
31:43shut your mouth
31:44Corby
31:46sorry guys
31:47I have to apologise
31:47Tomo's body oil
31:49has formed a slick
31:50we have to close the beach
31:51grab your stuff
31:51sit back down
31:52play the steel drums
32:04alrighty
32:04for points team
32:05you're going to have 25
32:0625%
32:07that is what David Cunliffe
32:09led Labour to
32:10in the 2014 election
32:11the lowest
32:12Labour result
32:13in MMP history
32:14not in all
32:15of MMP history
32:16which I said last week
32:18on the show
32:19apologies
32:19thank you for correcting us
32:21Brian
32:21the lowest
32:22actually Bill English
32:23for national
32:242002
32:25you got 21%
32:25alright
32:26so you get 20
32:2725
32:27team 2
32:28you get 0
32:29the amount of hot cross buns
32:30I will be ordering
32:31from Australian supermarket
32:32Coles
32:32after they launch
32:33the new nacho cheese
32:34and jalapeno flavour
32:35ew
32:37Jesus would be spinning
32:38in his grave
32:39team 1 gets the star
32:40well done
32:41such a beautiful
32:42fun
32:43okay team 2
32:44I'm coming to you
32:44your turn to head back
32:46to 1999
32:46now with a burger fuel
32:48brain grill
32:48take a look at this picture
32:49and tell me what it's all about
32:50please
32:50I definitely did not have
32:52sex with that woman
32:55is it
32:57Clinton
32:58offends New Zealand
32:59with poor attempt
33:00at hucka
33:03oh cool flag
33:08that is Bill Clinton
33:09speaking to
33:10our first female
33:10Prime Minister
33:11Jenny Shipley
33:12during bilateral meetings
33:13in Christchurch
33:13which reminds me
33:14I need to pop back
33:15to my own
33:15Oval Office
33:16right now
33:16not a euphemism
33:17let's take a break
33:18stick around though
33:19because up next
33:20is Jeremy's special game
33:21on 7 Days
33:22see you soon
33:34hey there
33:35good to see you again
33:36that is right
33:37we are still here
33:38it is 7 Days
33:39tonight we actually
33:40have 5 people
33:41who were on the
33:42first ever season
33:43of 7 Days
33:43back in 2009
33:44Jazzy, Corey
33:46Jeremy and Michelle
33:47and of course myself
33:47I'm feeling a bit
33:49nostalgic about that
33:50so tonight
33:50for Jeremy's special game
33:51we're going right back
33:52to where it all began
33:53with a game of answers
33:55one of my favourites
33:56I'm going to give you
33:57some answers
33:57from the week of news
33:58all you have to do
33:59is give me the questions
34:00to match
34:00and team one
34:01you can start off
34:02with this answer
34:03South Island
34:04shipping container
34:05what was my nickname
34:06at high school
34:10where does New World
34:12draw the line
34:13with their
34:13bring your own
34:14container policy
34:17what is stop 7
34:19on the Invercargill
34:20hop on hop off
34:20tourist bus
34:22where have they
34:23not looked for
34:23Madeleine McCann
34:26is it what is the
34:27government giving us
34:28instead of a new
34:29inter-island ferry
34:31what do I call
34:32my underwear
34:33wow
34:35why are you doing
34:36the eyebrow thing
34:37at me
34:37you know why
34:39Jeremy
34:40I'm looking forward
34:41to our cargo
34:42inspection
34:44begin the fumigation
34:48ow ow ow ow
34:53I'm hearing a banging
34:54coming from inside
34:58where do you pack
34:59the southern alps
35:00during off season
35:04is it what is my
35:05stripper name
35:08all right the
35:09question there is
35:10where was 35 kg
35:11of cocaine found
35:12last October
35:13it didn't stop
35:15the coke train
35:15though police
35:16records show that
35:16the last quarter
35:17of 2025 had the
35:18highest use of
35:19cocaine in New
35:20Zealand's history
35:21I just think
35:22cocaine use should
35:23not be up at a
35:24time like this
35:25I urge restraint
35:26with cocaine
35:26apparently New
35:28Zealand only has
35:28about 48 days
35:29worth of cocaine
35:30left so
35:31take it easy
35:32cocaine has
35:33become so popular
35:34in New Zealand
35:35it's now beating
35:36Luxon and the
35:36preferred prime
35:37minister
35:39you've got to be
35:40careful though
35:40because it's not
35:41all good stuff
35:42like the other
35:43day I found some
35:44cocaine in my
35:44friend's shoe
35:45long story short
35:46turns out I
35:47snorted Gran's
35:48Remedy
35:48it is getting
35:52pretty bad
35:52I hongied a guy
35:53last week
35:54and I got a
35:54contact hide
36:13alright we're
36:14moving on
36:15team 2
36:15your turn now
36:16here's the answer
36:16for you
36:17what is the
36:17question
36:17middle aged
36:18man
36:18who is the
36:19worst
36:22who magically
36:23appears when
36:24you're backing
36:24a trailer
36:26left hand down
36:27left hand down
36:30is it
36:30what were you
36:32if you lived
36:32till 12 in
36:33Victorian English
36:34times
36:37who do I love
36:38so much
36:39when they try to
36:39explain menopause
36:40to me
36:42it's got men
36:43in the title
36:44yes
36:44it's also got
36:46f***ing paws
36:47yeah
36:51who did the
36:52woman in the
36:52chat room I
36:53agreed to meet
36:54up with turn out
36:55to be
36:57and how are you
36:58getting on
36:59fine
37:01he's got very
37:02gentle kind
37:03hands
37:03good
37:05what did my
37:06husband become
37:07when I wasn't
37:08looking
37:09I love it
37:10I love it
37:11I love it
37:11I think that's
37:12wonderful
37:12it's so nice of you
37:13we're going to
37:14have to have a
37:14referenda on this
37:17and what was
37:18Justine Smith's
37:19stripper name
37:27Jack Jack Jack
37:28Jack
37:34come on let's do this
37:39it's either
37:40it's either a
37:41fight or a
37:42lap dance
37:46I'm not sure
37:47who's giving
37:48and who's taking
37:49alright
37:50the question is
37:51what is the real
37:52identity of
37:52notorious street
37:53artist Banksy
37:54after Reuters
37:54outed him this
37:55week as a
37:5653 year old
37:57Bristol native
37:57by the name of
37:58Robin Gunningham
37:59always a bit
38:00disappointing isn't
38:01it when you find
38:01out the true
38:02identity of an
38:03anonymous artist
38:04like when I
38:05found out Susie
38:05Cato is just
38:06jazzy when she's
38:07remembered to
38:07take her meds
38:12go for him
38:12go for him
38:14lap dance
38:15coming
38:23this is kind of
38:24ruined it for the
38:25losers that used to
38:25go out to town and
38:26try and pick up girls
38:27and tell them that
38:28they're like the
38:28real Banksy
38:29I wonder if he got
38:33found out because
38:34he went and this
38:34is my picture
38:37it's you
38:37alright for points
38:39team one you can
38:39have 86
38:40that is the age of
38:41Hollywood legend
38:42all round tough
38:43guy Chuck Norris
38:44when he passed
38:44away this week in
38:45Hawaii
38:45up until this
38:46point
38:46death had been
38:47too afraid to
38:48knock
38:48alright team two
38:50you can have
38:50260 that is
38:51dollars the amount
38:52a pie sold for
38:53on Trade Me
38:54this week
38:54pastry containing
38:55gold flakes
38:56wagyu beef filling
38:57gravy made from
38:58expensive wine
38:59it was baked by
38:59the baker Tito
39:00and all of the
39:01proceeds went to
39:02charity
39:02this is not a
39:03charity is it
39:04this show
39:04it is a
39:05competition
39:06one that team
39:07two is winning
39:07with yet another
39:08star
39:13nearly time for
39:14a bit of a break
39:14but not before we
39:15give you at home
39:15the chance to play
39:16the burger fuel
39:17brain grill
39:17have a look at
39:18this
39:19have a look at
39:19that
39:19yes
39:20then head to
39:20the seven days
39:21instagram or
39:22facebook page
39:22and let us know
39:23your caption
39:24you could be
39:24dining on some
39:25premium
39:26unleaded
39:26burger fuel
39:27you do that
39:28I'm going to
39:28reflect for
39:29four minutes
39:29while staring
39:30blankly at a
39:30wall
39:30then we'll
39:31return
39:31with beat
39:32the ding
39:33can't wait
39:45thank you so
39:46much for coming
39:46back for the
39:47final part of
39:47seven days
39:48you'll be glad
39:49you did because
39:49we are going to
39:50go out hot with
39:51the game of
39:51beat the ding
39:52teams I'll give
39:53you each a list
39:53of things that I
39:54need you to name
39:55in an allotted
39:56time
39:56succeed
39:57you win a star
39:58for your team
39:58fail
39:59the nation
39:59will laugh
40:00at you
40:00not with you
40:01all right
40:02we've already
40:02mentioned
40:03lindley dodd's
40:03award in the
40:04new zealand of
40:04the year
40:05celebrations
40:05michelle
40:06you have 11
40:07seconds to name
40:08five characters
40:09from harry mccleary
40:11harry mccleary
40:12bits of maloney
40:15somebody mcgee
40:19schnitzel von crumb
40:20and
40:22oh
40:23no
40:24oh not quite
40:25yeah
40:27tough challenge
40:28no star
40:29I'm sorry
40:29michelle
40:30digital id is
40:31coming soon
40:32you will not
40:32need to carry
40:33that pesky
40:33driver's license
40:34in your wallet
40:34anymore
40:35jeremy illwood
40:3610 seconds
40:36to name
40:37six things
40:37you keep
40:38in a wallet
40:38go
40:40harry mccleary
40:40books
40:42my credit
40:42cards
40:43another credit
40:44card for when
40:44the first credit
40:45card gets
40:45declined
40:47my golf
40:48membership card
40:49four
40:5010 year old
40:51condoms
40:57not everything
40:58I listed
40:58was true
41:00we just got to
41:01go back to a
41:02photo finish
41:02there
41:03what am I
41:03hearing
41:03no star
41:04time
41:05what
41:05time
41:06they're calling
41:06time on it
41:07okay
41:08a woman was
41:09sentenced to
41:09home detention
41:10on Monday
41:10after stealing
41:11$12,000 worth
41:12of mouthguards
41:13from the
41:13Highlanders rugby
41:14team last year
41:15Josh you have
41:1610 seconds
41:16to put in this
41:17mouthguard
41:17and name five
41:18rugby players
41:19I'll let you
41:19put it in
41:20go
41:29get it in
41:30yes
41:31yes
41:31Brendan
41:34Ponga
41:36Christopher
41:37Walken
41:45Wayne
41:46Chofford
41:47Dan
41:50Chofford
41:53no star
41:55it's not
41:55loaded
41:55all right
41:57English football's
41:58iconic Premier
41:59League trophy
41:59has been in
42:00New Zealand
42:00this week
42:01I didn't know
42:01that
42:01Corey
42:01you have 10
42:02seconds to
42:03name seven
42:03Premier League
42:04teams in a
42:05British accent
42:05please
42:06go
42:06Liverpool
42:07Arsenal
42:07Tottenham
42:11Chelsea
42:12Brighton
42:13Albion
42:15Wolves
42:17Burnley
42:17yeah that'll
42:18do
42:18that'll
42:19do
42:21congratulations
42:22Corey
42:22you to
42:23style
42:23well done
42:26a theme park
42:27based on
42:27Minecraft is
42:28opening in the
42:28UK next year
42:29Jazzy you love
42:30your theme parks
42:30you have nine
42:31seconds to name
42:32three different
42:32theme parks and
42:33three Jack Black
42:34movies
42:35go
42:35shut up
42:36just in the end
42:37Universal
42:38Wet n Wild
42:39High Fidelity
42:41Jumanji
42:41Happy Feet
42:48was he in
42:49Happy Feet
42:50I'll kill you
42:53Robin Williams
42:54was in Happy Feet
42:55but no Jack Black
42:56no stars
42:56sorry Jazzy
42:58alright
43:01I need a bath
43:02guard that
43:03wasn't molded
43:04didn't know
43:04give the people
43:05what they want
43:05yep got it
43:07we move on
43:08the Auckland
43:09leg of the
43:10sanitarium
43:10Weetbigs
43:11kids triathlon
43:11was on this
43:12week
43:12Jack you know
43:13about this
43:13you're actually
43:14infamous
43:15I don't know
43:16if you know
43:16but he snuck
43:17into one of
43:17these as an
43:18adult
43:18for your sins
43:20I will give
43:20you ten seconds
43:21to run a lap
43:22of the studio
43:22eating a dry
43:23Weetbix
43:24what the hell
43:25have your
43:26Weetbix
43:27three two
43:28one go
43:29run run
43:33run run
43:35run
43:36run run
43:37now whistle
43:39okay
43:42I'll pay it
43:43I'll pay it
43:44I'll pay it
43:44you get a star
43:44well done Jack
43:49that wraps up
43:51our show for the
43:51week
43:52we just need to
43:52crown our winner
43:53and after counting
43:54the stars
43:54I can confirm
43:55the winning team
43:55for this week
43:56team two
43:57congratulations
43:59team one
44:00get busy
44:02enjoy being carried
44:03around like a champion
44:05all week
44:06Jack you are the team
44:07captain
44:08you get to sit
44:09on my palanquin
44:10and please
44:11clean the palanquin
44:13before you return it to me
44:14that is great
44:15thank you all at home
44:16for watching
44:17and for being in our
44:18live studio tonight
44:18without you
44:19we're just seven
44:19friends hanging out
44:20in a room
44:20so please help me
44:22to thank those
44:22friends
44:23they are
44:23Josh, Michelle, Jeremy
44:24Jack, Jussie and Corey
44:25we'll see you in
44:26seven days on
44:27seven days
44:27goodnight
44:28thank you
44:40thank you
44:41New Zealand on air
44:42I'm the captain now
44:45up
44:46up
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