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7 Days - Season 18 - Episode 08: Thursday April 9, 2026
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00:22I'm your host Jeremy Corbett, I'm a Leo who likes long walks on the beach and a good cuddle.
00:27Big Spoon, but enough about me, I've got six hungry newshounds here in the studio ready to dissect the events
00:33of the week and poke fun at their squidgy insides.
00:36Let's meet the team, shall we? And we'll start with the leader of Team One.
00:38Some people say he hasn't aged a day since this show started.
00:42Those people are watching reruns.
00:44It's Paul Ego!
00:46Hi everyone, thank you, Jeremy.
00:48Hi Paul Ego.
00:49Thank you very much, lovely to be here.
00:51Great team tonight, first of all.
00:52She's delivered two babies and thousands of jokes, and he's pushed out thousands of jokes and has a face like
00:58a really old baby.
01:00It's Lana Walters and Jeremy Elwood on my team.
01:07Leading Team Two is a man so tough, he ram-raided a car that was doing a ram-raid.
01:11It's Chopper!
01:15Thank you very much, Jeremy.
01:17And my team tonight is a lovely bunch of C-words.
01:21I've got Courtney and Corey.
01:23Courtney and Corey.
01:24The three C's.
01:27Chopper, Courtney and Corey.
01:28Alright, let's kick things off with newsmakers, where I'll give the team some sneaky hints at a headlining news story
01:33from the week.
01:34Tonight, teams, I'm going to give you an answer from a news story.
01:37You give me the question to match, and we'll start with you, Team One.
01:40Your answer from the last seven days, about ten days.
01:44There's probably heaps, but I reckon we've got enough petrol for what?
01:51How long does one of Donald Trump's hard 24-hour deadlines last?
01:59What's the Russian bootleg version of this show?
02:02About ten days.
02:05Comrade Corbett.
02:07I think if it's a day's length of time base thing, the only news story this week is about the
02:14rocket going round the moon.
02:15Is that how long it's been up there, or how long it's been going round?
02:18Correct, Paul. Well done.
02:19It is about Artemis 2.
02:21It's how long does a round trip to the moon take?
02:23NASA's Artemis 2 is currently doing one.
02:25The astronauts becoming the first people to see the dark side since 1972,
02:29breaking the record for the greatest distance humans have travelled from Earth.
02:32Even though the trip is only ten days, you just know a few of them are coming back with an
02:35accent, right?
02:37I've just been on the moon, haven't I?
02:40Just been up there on the moon, yeah.
02:42So where is the moon?
02:43Yes.
02:45It's not part of the UK, but it's in that area, yeah.
02:48It's where they shot EastEnders, is it?
02:49That's right, yeah.
02:51But imagine spending your whole life training to be an astronaut, just to go to space,
02:56and then Katy Perry beats you by two years.
03:01And of course, they were completely out of contact with Earth for about 40 minutes when
03:05they went round the moon, back of the moon.
03:07Were they?
03:08Yeah.
03:08It could be like, oh, amazing guys, we'll talk to you in 40 minutes, and then they go
03:11round and it goes off and they're like, God, I hate space!
03:15This is so boring!
03:20They will eventually land, right?
03:22And then when they have a woman who's there, she'll probably find the aliens straight away.
03:25She'll be like, you guys were so busy playing golf and planting flags, there's a colony.
03:31There's an entire civilisation, you guys just didn't look.
03:34I reckon when they do come back to Earth, after all the news we've had this last week or so,
03:38we should just have, someone should like half bury a fake version of the Statue of Liberty
03:42in the sand, and someone's just there in a monkey costume, just to greet them.
03:45Oh, it'd be so good.
03:48Do you know who I reckon is loving this?
03:51Michael Collins.
03:51Do you know who Michael Collins is, Jeremy?
03:53Yeah, he was the guy that stayed in the lunar module while the eagle went down to the moon
03:57back in 69.
03:58Yeah, first space landing, he has to sit up in the module, right?
04:02The original space cuck.
04:04Right?
04:06Neil and Buzz are down there touching his moon, jamming flags in it, and he's just up in
04:10the capsule going, oh!
04:14It's probably the fact that he makes noises like that is why they didn't get him to
04:17be the guy who stepped on the moon.
04:19Okay, and the first words now, oh!
04:24We chose the wrong guy!
04:27One of the first things that went wrong is the toilet broke.
04:30That's right, the lunar moon, they're calling it.
04:32Yeah, so you can do number ones, but number twos aren't going anywhere.
04:36You know, there's just one dude on there who's like, well, I only ever do it when I get
04:39home anyway.
04:41It's actually quite interesting, because Artemis, which the mission's named after, is the Greek
04:46god of pooing in a bag.
04:50That's amazing, eh?
04:51I don't have the knowledge to challenge you, Chopper, so I'll take you in your word.
04:56I'm like a, I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist, and I don't reckon that they've circumnavigated
05:00the moon, like, because I say that I'm circumnavigating the car park when I can't parallel park, I reckon
05:05that's what they're doing.
05:07Have you noticed, since they started sending the photos back of the earth, you know, the
05:10big round earth that the flat earthers have been real quiet?
05:15No, we haven't.
05:19All right, team two, your turn now.
05:21From the last seven days, little experiment is the answer.
05:25What's the question?
05:26What do you call having an open relationship with Peter Dinklage?
05:36What led to Corbett hosting the show for nearly 20 years?
05:41They don't always work out.
05:44Any ideas what the story might be, Chopper?
05:46I mean, these days, it could be anything.
05:49It could be.
05:50It's not a great clue, I'll give you that.
05:51Why don't you help us out, Corby?
05:52We're here swimming around debris that used to be our mines.
05:55Yeah, Boston University have set up a bright yellow call-a-boomer payphone.
06:00As a what?
06:01It's a little experiment.
06:02Let students chat with seniors in a retirement community in Reno, Nevada.
06:06It's all in an attempt to bridge the generational divide.
06:09And it's a little bit weird, because the students call the seniors on a landline,
06:13but somehow the boomers still manage to have their phone torch on.
06:18We actually already have a boomer hotline in New Zealand.
06:21It's called Newstalk ZB.
06:26And it's only called a boomer hotline if you call them.
06:29If they ring you, it's called a boomerang.
06:33LAUGHTER
06:34The weird thing is, so this was set up so that young people can feel connected,
06:38you know, have some connection with someone who's willing to listen.
06:40But it doesn't quite work, because I bet five minutes into every call,
06:43they're like, OK, so you go to the Netflix site.
06:47LAUGHTER
06:48Is it just going to be one boomer they talk to?
06:51Because I like the idea of them being different boomers there
06:54for different sort of advice.
06:55So you're calling up, maybe you want some advice on cancer,
06:58you talk to the tumer boomer.
06:59You want some advice on having a baby, you talk to the woomer boomer.
07:03Then you've got just the generic, you know,
07:06the world isn't very good, that's the doom and gloomer boomer.
07:09LAUGHTER
07:09And what about the gossip, the roomer boomer?
07:12Yeah.
07:12Oh, that's very good.
07:14Yeah, gossip specifically about...
07:16Ms Thurman, the oomeroomer...
07:18LAUGHTER
07:19Oh, this was so good.
07:20The astrology boomer, the luna boomer.
07:24How do I cook a fun meal for my in-laws?
07:28LAUGHTER
07:28The shroomer boomer.
07:30The shroomer boomer.
07:31Beef Wellington's a special team.
07:33What about the guy who's into fishing, the tuna boomer?
07:36Oh, that's close.
07:37Feel like I need to interrupt.
07:39LAUGHTER
07:40That's a good round, good opening round.
07:42Newsmakers enjoyed that.
07:43Points.
07:44T1 can have ten.
07:45That's the number of points scored by Kiwi Charlize Ledger-Walker
07:48for the University of California
07:50as they beat South Carolina
07:52to win the Women's Division I College Champs Basketball,
07:55making her the first Kiwi woman to be an NCAA champion.
07:58Great stuff.
07:59Team two.
08:00You can have two.
08:00That's the number of Emmy nominations
08:02for the Jacinda Ardern documentary Prime Minister.
08:05Ten, however, beats two.
08:06The star goes to team one.
08:08Well done.
08:09APPLAUSE
08:12Oh, I'm excited about this.
08:14This is good.
08:14Stars aren't just what you see
08:15when you get a cartoon bonk on the head.
08:17They're also how we keep track of who's winning tonight.
08:20The team with the most stars at the end of the episode
08:22will win an incredible prize.
08:24Very excited about this week's one.
08:25Please look and ooh at it right now.
08:28That is a chunk of no-gravity cheese.
08:30Whoa!
08:31Fresh from the Artemis II mission to the moon,
08:33perfect for catching space mice,
08:35or maybe use it to make a space pie
08:37by combining it with the mints from the cow
08:39who jumped over the moon.
08:40What a wonderful prize.
08:42All right, New Zealand,
08:43I hope you're on your best behaviour.
08:44We're about to be joined by a real-life politician
08:46who, if he doesn't like you,
08:48could presumably have you deported somewhere horrible
08:50like Australia.
08:51This week, we have the National Party MP
08:53for Rangatata in the South Island.
08:55Please welcome James Meagher.
08:57CHEERING
08:59James, welcome to Seven Days.
09:01Thank you for joining us.
09:02Sit yourself down.
09:04Your job to answer these guys' questions
09:06without saying yes or no sound doable?
09:08I hope so.
09:09I hope so. Good stuff.
09:10All right, we're underway.
09:11Teams, away you go.
09:13James, hello.
09:15Chopper.
09:15How are you?
09:17Afraid.
09:20All right, that's good.
09:21I feel good about that.
09:23That feels right.
09:24Now, you're the Minister for Youth
09:25and the Minister for Hunting and Fishing.
09:28How long until I can hunt young people?
09:33It's funny you mention Minister for Youth.
09:35It's actually where I met Jeremy's wife.
09:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:42Wow.
09:44Damn.
09:45No, I'll play that.
09:46That was...
09:46Well done.
09:48Looks like...
09:49Looks like we've got two creeps in the room.
09:54James, you grew up in Temaru.
09:56Is that as amazing as it sounds?
09:59It's even better.
10:00It's the Riviera of the South.
10:02Oh.
10:03Your career's been quite varied.
10:06You were a press secretary to Paula Bennett,
10:08staffer for Chris Bishop,
10:09and an advisor to both Bill English and Simon Bridges.
10:12Do you suffer from PTSD?
10:15LAUGHTER
10:17You are the Minister for the South Island.
10:19Is part of that job hating the Minister for Auckland?
10:21LAUGHTER
10:22And was that easier last week before the reshuffle
10:24when it was Simeon Brown?
10:26LAUGHTER
10:30Look, things change,
10:32and I love all my colleagues equally,
10:34some more equally than others.
10:35Oh, you are a politician.
10:37LAUGHTER
10:37Um, James, you're pretty young.
10:39Like, is it alarming that your age
10:41and National's current approval rating
10:43is the same number?
10:44LAUGHTER
10:46Well, I'm in my late 30s,
10:47so let's hope.
10:49Whatever, man.
10:50LAUGHTER
10:52James, kia ora.
10:53Um, I read on Wikipedia
10:55that on the national list,
10:57you're number 69.
10:59Um, is that crack-up to you
11:01or are you dry?
11:02LAUGHTER
11:05I think it's nice.
11:06I think it's nice.
11:08That might be crack-up to you
11:09cos you're a bit of a troublemaker in university, right?
11:12You've confessed to all of this.
11:14I think I would...
11:15What did I describe myself as?
11:17Obnoxious?
11:18Obnoxious, yeah.
11:19That was a target,
11:20so everyone was obnoxious.
11:21LAUGHTER
11:22Well, I was going to ask, actually,
11:23you're from Temeru,
11:24you went to a target university
11:25and you're right,
11:26you're self-described as obnoxious.
11:27Are you just Josh Thompson in a mask?
11:30LAUGHTER
11:31I was hoping he was here tonight
11:32cos I was going to say
11:33I'm not even the best thing
11:34that's come out of Temeru in this room.
11:36LAUGHTER
11:36Are you referring to Sukatai,
11:38the Thai restaurant in Temeru?
11:40On Stafford Street?
11:42Yeah.
11:43I might be.
11:43Their money bags are to die for.
11:47So are James's.
11:48You should see him come out of the shower.
11:49Oh.
11:52LAUGHTER
11:57So you're the Minister for Hunting and Fishing.
12:00Does your government hate living fish
12:02as much as they hate poor people, or...?
12:07LAUGHTER
12:08LAUGHTER
12:15Just say no!
12:17Just say no, James!
12:19No, no, it's like the old saying goes,
12:21give a man a fish,
12:22then you can eat the man and his fish.
12:25LAUGHTER
12:25As Minister for Hunting and Fishing,
12:28can you say
12:28I love country hunting five times really quickly?
12:32LAUGHTER
12:34I love country hunting five times really quickly.
12:37LAUGHTER
12:41And you were head boy and ducks of Temeru High School.
12:44I was.
12:45Ooh, fantastic.
12:46In Temeru, if you get ducks,
12:48do they just give you a duck?
12:50LAUGHTER
12:50I think that's why I'm hunting and fishing, right?
12:52LAUGHTER
12:54If you cover a marathon,
12:55does your portfolio include the Chatham Islands?
12:58I've claimed it as the South Island, yeah.
13:00Right, yeah, yeah.
13:01It makes a team...
13:02LAUGHTER
13:02Give it up for National MP James Meagher!
13:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
13:07And keep the applause going for Team One.
13:10Congratulations, Team One, you get a start.
13:12I don't know how we got there.
13:14All right, you need to move on from those celebrations, Team One.
13:17It's time for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
13:18We find historical news
13:20and we test whether the comedians have any recollection of it.
13:23This week we're heading back to the distant year of 1986.
13:26Cool.
13:27Yes, Team One, what is going on here?
13:30They're making a great go of it, aren't they?
13:32They're keeping their balance very, very well indeed, is Alexandra.
13:35Some of those boys are very, very heavy
13:37and if they come off, they'll hit that paddock with a heck of a whack.
13:40I was going to say, American Gladiators,
13:41my memory of it is far more spectacular than that.
13:44Yeah, this is...
13:45I think this is Squid Games on a New Zealand budget.
13:47Yes.
13:48Yeah.
13:49This is why no-one respects the Commonwealth Games.
13:51Yeah.
13:52That is Top Town...
13:53That's Top Town, though, isn't it?
13:54Of course it was, Paulie.
13:55That was a clip from Top Town, classic Kiwi TV show,
13:58where teams from towns across New Zealand
14:00competed in physical challenges and obstacle courses, as you saw,
14:03all for local pride and bragging rights.
14:05Top Town famous being the last and only time
14:07anyone's ever cheered for Huntley.
14:11Right, join us back here after the break
14:13because we're heading on down to Club Topicana
14:15right after this.
14:16See you soon.
14:27Aloha!
14:28Welcome back to Seven Days.
14:30Well, the clocks may have changed,
14:31but even the pitch blackness of night
14:33won't stop us from grabbing the budgie
14:35and smuggling it down to the beach of Club Topicana.
14:37Play the steel drums!
14:49Club Topicana is brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
14:52Pineapples, spiky on the outside and sweet on the inside.
14:55Like a hedgehog, you've injected with jam.
14:57Inside this spiky little juice factory
14:59lies some news stories.
15:01Got me all tingly inside
15:02and I wanted to know more about...
15:03And that's just what our comedians will provide for us.
15:06Let's crack into it.
15:07Ah, yes, West Auckland.
15:08Hollywood stars Takawa Ititi, Jason Momoa and Cliff Curtis
15:11banded together to purchase production house studio West
15:15in West Auckland.
15:16It's been a while since I saw a proper Westy flick,
15:19so I'd like to see some scenes
15:20from West Auckland movies, please.
15:25You had me at...
15:27Want to root?
15:36I'm flying, Jack.
15:39I'm flying.
15:45Okay, cut, cut.
15:46No, audio issue.
15:48We've got a police helicopter.
15:51Oh, that goes the whole time?
15:57Hunt for the sober people.
16:05I see stoned people.
16:14Baby, I'm just calling to say
16:15I don't know if I'm going to get out of here.
16:17I came to Costco for just a hot chicken
16:20and now the crowds are crazy.
16:22I bought a kayak.
16:26I bought two air fryers.
16:27They wouldn't let me buy one.
16:32The hills are alive
16:34with the sound of V-A-s.
16:41Now it's time for the kids' classic
16:43Harry and Henderson.
16:44Get away, Harry.
16:46They've got knives.
16:55Luke, I or one of many other men
16:59on the New Lynn Rugby League team
17:04am your father.
17:09Let's go on to the pineapple
17:10for our next story.
17:12A new podcast has been launched
17:14about a Kiwi who joined the CIA
17:15as a spy in 1979.
17:17It's called The Agency.
17:19It must have been good
17:20because I didn't find out about him
17:21until just now.
17:23But what about the bad spies?
17:24Give me some examples
17:25of the world's worst spies, please, team.
17:29Hello, Mr. Trump.
17:31My name is Melania.
17:32I am not a spy.
17:42Hey, babe, have you seen
17:43my cyanide suicide pill?
17:47Yeah, it's just your mum's
17:48blood pressure tablet here.
17:57Nah, bro, I'm Russia Naz.
17:58Now let's switch cases
18:00and I'll get out of here.
18:05Martini, thanks.
18:10Oh, that's straight alcohol.
18:12Yuck.
18:12Can I have a lemonade?
18:19Hello.
18:20My name is Ana Hira.
18:22I am the third
18:23National Party Maori MP.
18:30Yes, OK.
18:31Passport and arrival card.
18:33Travelling for business.
18:35Yes, it says there.
18:35I am a spy.
18:37First time.
18:39I think it's going to go good, though.
18:45Um, if the mission's impossible,
18:48why even bother?
18:53Alright, let's go to our pineapple
18:54for our next story.
18:56Um, school holes.
18:57Yes, parents were left reeling this week
18:59when they realised it was
18:59the school holidays again.
19:01But we're here at Seven Days.
19:02We're here to help.
19:03So let's make the parents at home
19:04feel better about themselves
19:06by giving them some examples
19:07of terrible school holiday activities.
19:12OK, so we're going to go
19:13and sponge bath the old people.
19:15And today the first person
19:16is Mr Corbett.
19:20Get in there.
19:23Alright, kids,
19:24I know Easter's over,
19:25but we've got another fun hunt
19:27because Daddy can't remember
19:28where he put his weed.
19:33All right, Jimmy,
19:34remember the other day
19:35you asked me where sneakers come from?
19:37Let's play a game called sweatshops.
19:44OK, so here's your gun
19:45and you ship off
19:46to the Middle East tomorrow.
19:49Right, back for our next story.
19:51With daylight saving ending,
19:53we appreciate having
19:54Shehad's song home again
19:55to tell us to put our clocks
19:57back for the winter.
19:58Surely it can't be the only song
19:59with useful advice in it.
20:01So I would like to see
20:02some more examples
20:03of helpful song lyrics, please.
20:06Helpful song lyrics.
20:08Knives, don't go in toasters,
20:10toasters, don't go in the back.
20:18And I, I always blow on the pie
20:23Cos the filling's thermonuclear
20:26and I know I could die.
20:34Don't you want your baby?
20:42Stop, conjugate and listen.
20:44Don't start a sentence
20:45with a preposition.
20:52I'm on my way
20:53to go and get
20:54a prostate check today.
20:57Ah-ah!
20:58Ah-ah!
21:04In the jungle,
21:06the mighty jungle,
21:07the lion doesn't actually sleep tonight.
21:09It's more of a savannah creature.
21:10It's similar temperature,
21:11but it's more of an arid sign.
21:13Wah-wo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo.
21:41the Concords perform together. Set to change
21:43next week when Jermaine and Brett will do four
21:44warm-up shows at Wellington's Miao Nui.
21:46Be a great show to be at. And you can have
21:49$8.5 million, Team 2. That's the amount
21:51per day Air New Zealand is spending on jet fuel.
21:53Six weeks ago, it was less than
21:54half of that, just $4 million. Either way,
21:57it means a star for Team 2.
21:59Congratulations!
22:03Team 2, you don't have
22:05time to celebrate. I'm staying with you. I need you
22:07back in your game for your
22:08Burger Fuel Brain Grill. It's from
22:101986. This one's a picture.
22:13What do you think is going on here? Have a look.
22:17Welcome back to Talkin' Slaw,
22:19the world's only cabbage podcast.
22:23That's almost on the topic.
22:25That was a farmer testing his crop
22:27for radiation following the catastrophic
22:28explosion of the Chernobyl nuclear
22:31reactor in Ukraine in 1986.
22:34An horrific event,
22:35but we all did get to watch an
22:37incredible eight-part TV series out of it, so I
22:39guess every mushroom cloud has a silver
22:41lining, doesn't it?
22:42Alright, we'll take a break, then we'll be
22:43playing a special game I like to call
22:45Jeremy's Special Game. What have I
22:46concocted for you this week? Find out after
22:48these ads.
23:01You are back with seven days,
23:03just in time for
23:05JSG. Yes, Jeremy's Special Game,
23:07the not-to-miss moment for most people's
23:082026. This week we're
23:10exploring the art of mime in a
23:13game of Charade the News.
23:14Fast becoming one of my favourites.
23:16Alright, team one, you're up first.
23:18Now, the story is, according to Vogue,
23:20skinny jeans are back. Supermodels including
23:22Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss and
23:24Angelina Jolie have been photographed,
23:26which is reviving the trend from
23:28the 90s and reviving them as well, I'd
23:29imagine. Let me think about what else
23:31from the 90s I would like to see. So, your
23:34category is things from
23:35the 90s. Lana, you will
23:38be doing the charading. Come and grab your cards.
23:39There you go.
23:41Move on over to the screen, Lana. Ego and Elwood,
23:43you'll be guessing what Lana is
23:46acting out and I'll get my little
23:48dinger here. So, things from the
23:5090s is the category and your time
23:52starts now.
23:54Okay.
23:58Grunge music.
23:59Yeah.
24:00Guitar. Alanis Morissette.
24:02Creed.
24:03Creed, shooting himself in the face.
24:05Yes, well done.
24:06Yeah, well done.
24:07Kukubane.
24:07Kukubane.
24:08Kukubane.
24:09Okay.
24:12Ah, Steve Austin.
24:13Ah, Tom Cruise.
24:15Ah, the running.
24:15Ah, Falling.
24:16Forrest Gump.
24:17Oh, um.
24:18Fat Man Running.
24:19Big, droopy teddies.
24:22Oh, um.
24:23Oh, um.
24:23Body suit.
24:24Ah, Borat.
24:25Ben Heaney.
24:26Ah, Baywatch.
24:28Baywatch.
24:28Baywatch.
24:29Oh, my gosh.
24:32Ah.
24:33Whew.
24:35Ah, the All-Backs.
24:36Rucky World Cup.
24:37John Alamo.
24:38Yeah, well done.
24:39Ah.
24:40Boop, boop.
24:41Pages.
24:42Oh, come on, we've been.
24:43Yes, well done.
24:44Oh.
24:46Ah.
24:46Microwave.
24:47The Microwave.
24:47The VHS players.
24:49Oh.
24:49We'll pay that.
24:51No, I've got it.
24:51Ah.
24:52Ah.
24:54Ah.
24:54Ah.
24:55Ah.
24:55Ah.
24:56Ah.
24:56Ah.
24:56Ah.
24:56Ah.
24:57Ah.
24:57Ah.
24:59Ah.
24:59Ah.
25:00Ah.
25:01Ah.
25:02Ah.
25:02Ah walking.
25:08Ah.
25:09Ah.
25:09Leggings.
25:10Leggings.
25:10Ah.
25:11Ah.
25:12Ah.
25:12Hip pocket. Skinny jeans.
25:16Cargo pants.
25:17Yes, well done, cargo pants.
25:22Hi, I'm Jeremy Corbett.
25:25This is one of my many television shows.
25:29Seinfeld.
25:31Oh, you arrived the first time.
25:32Oh, it is Jeremy Corbett.
25:33Where's Jeremy Corbett?
25:34Is it Jeremy? No, what?
25:36Oh, Jeremy Corbett doing stand-up.
25:38Oh, deal or no deal?
25:39No.
25:41Not TV.
25:42Not, what?
25:43It's radio.
25:44Jeremy Corbett on radio.
25:45Kevin Corbett.
25:52Very kind, Lana.
25:54Could have been far worse that last one.
25:55What have I done?
25:56I don't know.
25:57OK, well done, team one.
25:58Lana, great stuff.
26:00And Paul and Jeremy, you contributed as well, I guess.
26:02Eight.
26:03Eight.
26:03I got you for eight.
26:04That's a hard score to beat.
26:05Hard score to beat.
26:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:07I've been such bad days.
26:10Team two, over to you.
26:11Your turn.
26:11As mentioned, Kiwi Eco shoe company Allbirds sold recently for a fraction of its one-time
26:16billion-dollar valuation.
26:18Your category is companies that have animals in their names, like Allbirds.
26:23Chopper, you will be doing our charading.
26:27Courtney and Corey, it is your turn to guess, and you have got eight to beat.
26:31All right, Chopper, if you'd like to move over to the screen, please.
26:34Good luck, mate.
26:34I don't want to play Jeremy's special game.
26:38It's not the first time I've heard that.
26:41It's not the one you're thinking of.
26:44Companies that have animals in their names.
26:47Your time starts now.
26:51You can't talk.
26:53Shoe.
26:54Big.
26:54Lacoste.
26:55Jumpman.
26:57Lacoste.
26:58Big sh...
26:59Big...
27:01Crocs.
27:02Crocs.
27:02Crocs.
27:03Well done.
27:08Drink.
27:09Party.
27:11Rave.
27:13Red Bull.
27:14Yes, well done.
27:15Yes.
27:20Joint.
27:21Smart.
27:23Corn.
27:24Corn.
27:24Camel back.
27:26Camel...
27:26Camel cigarettes.
27:27Yes, well done.
27:31Beer.
27:35Bird.
27:36Tui.
27:37Tui.
27:37Nice.
27:39Good stuff.
27:39Nailing it.
27:43Penguin books.
27:44Oh, wow!
27:45Yes.
27:46So good.
27:46What a team.
27:49Elephant publishing.
27:51Elephant publicity.
27:56Elephant.
27:58Go to the next one.
27:59An-eater.
28:00Oh, what?
28:02Ah...
28:02T-Rex.
28:04No!
28:09String.
28:11Earthful.
28:16Pedophile!
28:16Pedophile!
28:18Go.
28:19Another one.
28:20Can move on if you like.
28:20Another one.
28:21Moving on.
28:22Oh, no.
28:29Ssssssssss.
28:30LAUGHTER
28:32LAUGHTER
28:33LAUGHTER
28:34LAUGHTER
28:35LAUGHTER
28:35Come on, man.
28:37LAUGHTER
28:37Chew, chew, train.
28:38Chew?
28:40Chew?
28:40Er...
28:41Thomas, no.
28:42Er...
28:43Train?
28:43Train?
28:44Train?
28:45Train your dragon.
28:45How to train your dragon?
28:46LAUGHTER
28:49Er...
28:49Er...
28:49Cocaine.
28:50Cocaine's great.
28:51All right, yeah, cool.
28:52Drug.
28:52Oh.
28:54Moving on.
28:55Next one.
28:57Driving drunk.
28:58No, all right, er...
28:59Horn.
29:00Tiger.
29:02Er...
29:02Hungry-hungry hippos.
29:03LAUGHTER
29:05Drive.
29:06Truck.
29:07Two...
29:08Two...
29:08Uh...
29:09Uh...
29:10Brands of stuff!
29:12LAUGHTER
29:12Oh, er...
29:15Bronco.
29:16Companies that have animals in their names.
29:18Bobcat.
29:19LAUGHTER
29:19Puma.
29:23We'll be playing.
29:24Uh...
29:25Horn...
29:26Uh...
29:28Oh, just the next one, man.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:32That's time!
29:33That is time!
29:34Oh, wow.
29:36APPLAUSE
29:42I have to tell us what that...
29:44I was going to tell you, but I thought Chopper might like to share it.
29:47OK.
29:48Do you want to tell them what they couldn't guess, your wonderful mime?
29:51It was a kiwi!
29:52LAUGHTER
29:52It was kiwi bank and then kiwi rail.
29:54That's right.
29:56LAUGHTER
29:56Bumping rails with a kiwi.
29:59LAUGHTER
30:00And last one was Jaguar.
30:02Jaguar, yeah.
30:03Jaguar, yeah.
30:03Oh, I've seen a Puma.
30:04That's f***ing the same thing.
30:04It's not the same.
30:06LAUGHTER
30:07Different cats.
30:08Oh, my God.
30:09Uh...
30:09They're both leopards.
30:10They're both from the leopard family.
30:11Oh, is it a house cat?
30:12No, it's a brand!
30:14Oh.
30:15Very impressive start, team two, but slowed up at the end, unfortunately.
30:18Which means, uh, it's 8-5.
30:20Team one gets the start.
30:21CHEERING
30:24Oh, wow.
30:25That's great.
30:26Ah, great stuff and well done, Chopper and Lana.
30:28Time for a break, but staple yourself to your couch
30:30because we're going to have a special secret mystery guest too
30:33right here when we get back.
30:35See you soon.
30:35Seven days.
30:37CHEERING
30:47Nōmai hukibai.
30:48Welcome back to Seven Days.
30:49Our next game is called Guest 2, where a mystery person from the week of news takes time out of
30:54their newsworthy week to join us in the studio and hide their face inside a clean-ish sack.
30:59Please welcome our Guest 2 guest.
31:01CHEERING
31:03Right on this lake.
31:06I've got it behind you.
31:07I've got it behind you.
31:08Three, two, one.
31:10Right there.
31:11You stand there, Guest 2, yes.
31:12You say yes or no.
31:13Teams, you ask yes or no question.
31:15You get a no, it goes to the other team.
31:16Team one, you get first pop at it.
31:18Are you National MP James Meeker?
31:21LAUGHTER
31:22That's a no.
31:23That's a no.
31:24Team two.
31:24I don't know too many New Zealand sort of newsworthy people, but I'm going to guess you're not Lord.
31:34LAUGHTER
31:35Yes.
31:37That's a yes.
31:38He's not Lord.
31:40Um, you look strong.
31:42Are you famous for doing something strong?
31:45Famous for doing something strong.
31:47Oh!
31:47Um, can you rephrase?
31:50I'll give you another chance.
31:51When he did that, my eyebrows fluttered.
31:53LAUGHTER
31:54Very strong.
31:56Is it sport related?
31:57Yes.
31:58Yes.
31:58That's a yes.
31:59Does your sport have running in it?
32:01No.
32:01No.
32:02Team one.
32:03Did you just negotiate a peace deal in Iran?
32:07LAUGHTER
32:07That's a no.
32:09Ah, sorry guys.
32:10Well that's not a very good game.
32:11I know, sorry.
32:12Are you into water?
32:14Oh, yes.
32:15Yes.
32:16Alright, um, are your arms tired?
32:19Sorry, are they tired?
32:20I mean, like in the last week, have they been tired at some stage?
32:24They've been tired for a wee while, yeah.
32:27That's a yes.
32:27That's a yes, yep.
32:28We're into a full conversation now.
32:30The game's falling apart.
32:31How is everything?
32:32That's not a yes, no question.
32:35LAUGHTER
32:36Ask a yes, no question.
32:37Yeah, when people ask me how I'm doing, I'll say yes.
32:41LAUGHTER
32:41That's why not many people ask.
32:43No.
32:44Courtney.
32:44Water stuff, can you hold your breath longer than two minutes?
32:48Yes.
32:49Wow.
32:50So, is it underwater sport?
32:52LAUGHTER
32:54Mmm.
32:55Oh...
32:55It's not.
32:56What the hell is...
32:57It's not.
32:58It's not underwater.
33:00It's not.
33:00It's on the water.
33:01Are you the guy who's just swum like the length of New Zealand?
33:04Oh!
33:05Sort of...
33:06Around New Zealand.
33:08Down the side of New Zealand.
33:09Swum somewhere.
33:10Yes.
33:10Yes!
33:11That is John O'Ridler!
33:12Oh!
33:14Oh!
33:14What a privilege.
33:15Thank you, John.
33:16Oh!
33:17Oh!
33:18World record ocean swimmer, John O', congratulations.
33:22Amazing, John O'.
33:22What a feat.
33:23And it was from North Cape to Wellington, right?
33:25North Island.
33:25Yes, it was.
33:25It wasn't quite the country, but...
33:27And that is...
33:28Oh!
33:28Nearly 14...
33:311400 kilometres?
33:321400...
33:33Just...
33:33Just shy of.
33:34And 90 days, 468 hours of swimming.
33:37Just over 1.4 million strokes.
33:39Have you ever thought about getting a boat?
33:44That would be no fun.
33:45That would be no fun.
33:45Did you ever...
33:45Did you ever cop a good current and just flap your arms around a bit?
33:50Sometimes.
33:51So, 90 days.
33:52Can you talk us through sort of a standard day?
33:55What happened?
33:55I mean, fast forward a bit.
33:58Day one.
33:59Yeah.
34:00So, what, 6am alarm?
34:02What happens?
34:02Yeah, sometimes it would be starting in the dark.
34:04A normal day would be about nine hours of swimming.
34:08Doing four hours and then five hours.
34:11And having that block in the morning.
34:13Having maybe a three, four hour break.
34:14And then going back in the evening.
34:16There's all of the team preparation around that.
34:19So, we have some big days and, you know, do these five day blocks.
34:22Have a rest.
34:23Incredible.
34:23And then go again.
34:24Like, how good was it swimming into Wellington and so many people there?
34:27Were you expecting that many?
34:28Yeah.
34:28Not as many people as we had.
34:30It was just an unreal scene in Wellington with people, like, lining along the boardwalk
34:36and coming into Wharepo Lagoon.
34:38There were just thousands of people.
34:39It was just, yeah.
34:40It's unreal.
34:41It completely blew our expectations out.
34:42It looks like you actually got it on the one good day.
34:45Yeah.
34:47But there was, you got out of the water in Wellington and the reason you were there
34:50was to go to Parliament, right?
34:51Because you got a serious kind of message behind what you were doing.
34:53Yeah.
34:54Why did you do it?
34:54You nutter.
34:57We finished at Wharepo Lagoon and then walked up the steps of Parliament.
35:02It was symbolic.
35:03We do have a petition that's open for asking for a phased into bottom trawling,
35:07starting with seamounts.
35:08And so we had hundreds of people walking with us and we presented,
35:13symbolically, representation of our cause.
35:16We will be presenting the petition later.
35:18Which is already up to, like, 80,000 signatories or something?
35:21Past 80,000.
35:22Yeah.
35:23That's right.
35:25That's incredible, man.
35:26Yeah.
35:27I am.
35:28I have a real love-hate.
35:30Like, I love the ocean.
35:31I love swimming.
35:31But at the same time, I have a kind of pathological fear of sharks.
35:34Was there a moment in the swim where you had a moment of going,
35:38why am I doing this?
35:39Yeah, there were certainly moments like that.
35:42Yeah.
35:42In the first 90 minutes of starting, leaving Waikuku Beach,
35:45I had a flyby from a big shark right next to me.
35:48We had a number of shark sightings up in the far north.
35:52And, yeah, that plays on your mind for sure.
35:54Oh, you think?
35:56Yeah.
35:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:57Didn't I read that you said somewhere your sort of attitude changed
36:00as you swam down with the sharks?
36:02You realised they weren't after you for food?
36:05Yeah, you know, you try to have that mentality.
36:08And my saying was you're not on the menu.
36:11But, yeah, you know, they're big predators
36:15and you've got to respect them when you're in their environment.
36:17So, if we were going down to the local pool
36:19and we want to match the kind of pace that you were setting,
36:21how fast, say, would you swim like 100 metres when you're doing this?
36:25Oh, the pace that I was doing out there
36:27was maybe two minutes per 100 metres, which is pretty slow.
36:31Yeah, it's slow.
36:35Did you know Jeremy Corbett used to be a swimmer?
36:38Yeah, he used to swim competitively.
36:40I mean, he's got a swimmer's frame, you know.
36:43Thanks, mate, thanks.
36:45It's good to have someone that actually cares about my swimming career.
36:48So, how long after the swim did it take until you felt recovered?
36:52Because it was a lot of pain, right?
36:54Yeah, every single day was really, really tough,
36:57like paddling, muscular fatigue and jellyfish stings
37:00and the cold and everything else.
37:02But right now I feel pretty good.
37:04So, yeah, long may that last.
37:05That is great.
37:06Give it up for Jono Riddler, world record ocean swimmer.
37:11Great stuff, mate.
37:12Very, very cool.
37:15I believe team won.
37:16You get the style.
37:17Well done.
37:21Nearly time for a break.
37:22But first, you at home need to get your very own
37:25Burger Fuel Brain Grill assignment.
37:26Here is your picture.
37:28Have a look at that.
37:29Memorise that.
37:30Head to the 7 Days Instagram or Facebook pages.
37:32Let us know your caption.
37:33You could win 100 Burger Fuel bucks for your troubles.
37:36Do that, but don't do anything else,
37:38because after the break we're playing Caption That
37:39and crowning a glorious winner on 7 Days.
37:52Welcome to the fifth and final part of our show's evening's entertainment.
37:56We've got just enough time for a round of Caption That.
37:59I provide the pictures.
38:00The teams provide the captions.
38:01You know how it works.
38:02Team one.
38:02You do too.
38:03You're up first.
38:04Here's your first picture.
38:04What's the caption?
38:05Is this just all the little men in my brain
38:08when my wife says,
38:09what do you think?
38:13Chaos erupts at Starbucks when five guys named Steve
38:16all order the same thing.
38:19Years later they'll say these men's heart attacks
38:21came out of nowhere.
38:23Man in the front wearing blue
38:25really regrets choosing this library for his quiet time.
38:30This is how I think the stock exchange reacts
38:33when I put $20 on shizies.
38:38Kiwi man on phone says,
38:39I love you to wife
38:40and his colleagues question her sexuality.
38:46Is it taking a phone call in the 90s
38:49when the rest of your family was on the internet?
38:53As Chopper's teammates go,
38:55how the f*** does this mean a kiwi?
39:00Is it the guy on the iPad looking at a picture of a kiwi,
39:03being like, actually that's exactly what a kiwi?
39:07That is traders signalling offers
39:09in the S&P options trading pit
39:11at the Global Markets Exchange
39:12in Chicago, Illinois.
39:14Alright, team one, back to you.
39:15Here's your photo.
39:17What's the caption?
39:17How Corby wishes guessed who was run.
39:23Is this just married at first sight, men's prison edition?
39:29Is this when you get a gigolo but you ask to be gif-rat?
39:34Whenever you're in a rush for a plane,
39:36there's always one guy in front of you at airport security.
39:42Weird way to remember your mate who died,
39:44the photo at the back.
39:51I think he's gonna come back.
39:53It's always...
39:54Is it, of course I'm chaining him up.
39:55Last time I left my gimp outside of the shop,
39:57someone stole him.
40:00That's a man preparing for the Inglados,
40:02or Shackled Ones, procession
40:04where hundreds of shackled men
40:05walk in search of divine forgiveness
40:07through the streets of Altichco in Mexico.
40:10Wow, how do you see where they're going?
40:12I don't know.
40:14I don't explain, I just give you the caption.
40:16Alright, team two, over to you now.
40:18What is the caption for this picture, please,
40:20from the last seven days?
40:20Oh, wow.
40:21Um, is it the crazy new game show
40:24Gas Bomb Cat or Nothing?
40:31Is this how I pick my toddler up from daycare
40:35without catching anything?
40:36Is this Catholic school has demonstration
40:39on how to perform safe sex?
40:43Is this what brown people experience
40:45when flying internationally?
40:47Is this how gingers have to go to the beach
40:50without getting burnt?
40:52Everyone prepares differently
40:53when they're about to chop onions.
41:00That is bomb disposal experts
41:02inspect and neutralise suspected explosive devices
41:05to ensure public safety in van in Turkey.
41:09Team two, what is the caption for this picture?
41:12Oh, my God.
41:13Is it waiting for your kid
41:13to just unpack the dishwasher
41:15like a normal person?
41:17Is it not what I expected
41:19when you said, let's go bowling?
41:21Is that beautiful moment captured
41:23of Tupperware leaving their nest?
41:28Is it waitress loses bowls
41:31but finds eggbeater?
41:43The caption is Red Panda performs during halftime
41:46at the NCAA women's basketball tournament
41:48in Phoenix, Arizona.
41:50Great round, great captions, great game.
41:53Let me do some quick maths.
41:54Oh, my gosh.
41:54The winner of the entire episode is
41:57Team One.
42:02There you go.
42:04You can have the rods.
42:07Enjoy your moon cheese.
42:09Watch out for the moon hook
42:11and the moon fishing line you might find there.
42:13Thank you all at home for watching.
42:14We do appreciate it.
42:15And please help me to thank our contestants.
42:17Paul, Lana, Jeremy, Chopper, Courtney and Corey.
42:28Thank you, New Zealand.
42:29Sorry, I'm just calling the boomer hotline.
42:32Oh, I bet your phone's buzzing.
42:33I'm getting a call.
42:39Hello?
42:40Hang on, hang on, hang on.
42:42I'm not quite ready yet.
42:43Just give me a second.
42:44There we go.
42:49Hello?
42:50Hello?
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