- 2 days ago
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00:32My old thinking, Doc.
00:34Why's it so dangerously high?
00:37Climate change, bro.
00:38So that was real?
00:39Hmm.
00:40What are you doing out here at the thinking, Doc's Confucius?
00:43Oh, I'm just trying to get better at thinking.
00:45Be more like the Confucius I'm cloned from.
00:48Seems to me there's no telling what to think these days.
00:51You know, normally I'd check in with my bro Gandhi at times like this.
00:54I think he's been avoiding me.
00:58Why does everything have to change?
01:01Joan and I used to be so close, but now I can't even sit at the same lunch table as
01:05her.
01:05Everything I see is wrong.
01:07I just can't get it right.
01:09What should I do?
01:10What I've learned is the very best thing to do always is to just say you're sorry.
01:16Hmm.
01:16That's...
01:23I want to offer an apology for my despicable behavior.
01:27This is an opportunity to learn and reflect and grow, as well as learning and reflecting
01:33while growing.
01:34I'm not the only one that matters.
01:36All lives matter.
01:39I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but the truth is, I don't see color.
01:43I mean, I once dressed up as Chris Tucker for Halloween.
01:46Sorry, not sorry.
01:48I refuse to apologize.
01:50I'm sorry.
01:51I said sorry, not sorry.
01:53I said I was sorry, so I made a couple mistakes, huh?
01:57Or is it Mr. Stakes now?
02:00Oh, let's not be ridiculous.
02:02Or do I have to say refagina-ulous, huh?
02:05Because you can't comprehend like a bunch of girls.
02:08I'm sorry.
02:09I'm sorry.
02:11I'm sorry.
02:12Today's list meeting is called to order.
02:15Rebecca, you have the floor.
02:16If it pleases and sparkles, I suggest we continue deliberations on list 47D.
02:21Which girl has the cutest purse?
02:23Rebecca moves.
02:24We work on list 47D.
02:25Does that sparkle with all the girls?
02:27Sunshine.
02:29Deliberating which girl has the cutest purse, Millie has the floor.
02:33If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to submit that Jennifer's purse is by far the
02:36cutest, definitely cuter than Teresa's.
02:38I don't think anyone here disagrees that Jennifer's purse is cuter than Teresa's, but it doesn't
02:43make it the cutest.
02:44The committee has already decided that nothing with stripes can be in the top five cutest purses.
02:49Sunshine, sparkle, Wendy has the floor.
02:52If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to suggest that we...
02:56That we reopen last week's list for debate.
02:59Really?
03:00The shape's crazy.
03:03All right, all right.
03:04Come before the rainbow railing.
03:07Go ahead.
03:08Uh, I...
03:11Oh, God damn it.
03:12You...
03:13HATER!
03:15Whitney, in my office right now!
03:17Okay!
03:18HATER!
03:18...with the best bonds.
03:20Ooh!
03:21Cleopatra coming at ya!
03:23That's not this big bomb.com!
03:26Can you believe it took over 10,000 organs to build it?
03:29It's so hot!
03:31So hot!
03:32So hot!
03:33Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
03:35Wait, what?
03:36And here they come now, your homecoming queen and her kings, Cleo and JFK!
03:42What is going on?
03:45That's my boyfriend!
03:47Why is he acting so strange?
03:49I am not a strange.
03:51I am a normal.
03:54I know you're in there, JFK.
03:56Uh, I don't...
03:58I don't want to beat around the bush.
04:01Maybe it's just hard for you.
04:04I want to beat something hard around the bush.
04:10Help me, Joanie!
04:12Help me!
04:12I'm...
04:13I'm...
04:13I'm...
04:15I'm hopelessly devoted to Cleo.
04:19I am no longer a fan of sexual puns.
04:23He's mine now, Joanie.
04:25I've turned him, and I'm gonna turn you, too.
04:31Ah!
04:39Oh, no!
04:40That float's gonna hit me!
04:43Give it up, baby.
04:45We know all about it.
04:47The list was compromised.
04:49Kavroflowski's not the ugliest boy in the class.
04:59Wendy!
05:16Wait, I...
05:16I didn't do anything wrong.
05:18You can explain all that downtown.
05:20Have you seen Butters?
05:22Butters?
05:22Oh, sure.
05:23He's out on the playground getting the shit beat out of him by Bebe.
05:26What?
05:31Motherf***er!
05:31Don't ever say that shit again!
05:34Hey!
05:35Whoa, whoa, whoa!
05:36What the hell is going on?
05:37I wasn't even doing anything, and he came up and started talking shit to me!
05:42Yeah, everyone likes a guy that's strong and assertive, so I told Bebe to go f*** yourself.
05:46Who do you even think you are?
05:48You want some more of this, you dumb slut?
05:49Butters, what are you doing?
05:51This isn't you!
05:52Hey, Kyle, will you relax?
05:53You're kind of f***ing up my brand.
05:54Okay, that does it!
05:56Come on, Butters!
05:57You're going back to Cumhammer!
05:59You're lucky you saved your ass!
06:01F*** yeah, you f***ing bitch!
06:20Ow, dinger!
06:21Paper god!
06:26Ow, dinger!
06:27Paper cut!
06:30Ow, dinger!
06:36Ow, dinger!
06:37Dinger!
06:38Ow, dinger!
06:41Ah, dinger!
06:43Uh...
06:45Oh...
06:45Ah!
06:55Hey, Jerry, you got a minute to talk?
06:57Yeah, what's up, Randy?
06:59Look, I...
07:00I know that boys will be boys, and...
07:02As parents, we can't always control what their personal decisions are.
07:06No, of course not.
07:08I just want you to know, first off, that your son is a great kid.
07:13You know, Stan and Kyle have always been really close, and I know their friendship has meant so much.
07:18What's happened, Randy?
07:22Well, Gerald, I don't know if you can just talk to your son, but...
07:26Can we just admit this whole woke thing isn't working?
07:29Woke thing?
07:30I mean, it's been great in so many ways, but...
07:33Now it's like every movie and every TV show, you know, it's like you can see through it now.
07:39Audiences want to be entertained, they don't want to be preached at,
07:41and if you're just doing shows and movies that have an agenda,
07:44it's like, it's just gonna keep failing.
07:47Randy, what are you talking about?
07:49Box office is down, people are tuning out,
07:51you know it's what killed the Marvel franchise.
07:53And just as a side note, I'm gonna say it out loud,
07:57Avatar 2 sucked.
07:58It just sucked, Gerald. Someone had to be brave enough to say it.
08:01God damn it, I do not f***ing run Hollywood!
08:04Gerald, can you talk to him?
08:06Kyle, what is he talking about?
08:07He's just being an idiot and listening to what f***ing Eric Carpenter said!
08:10I did not hear it from Eric Carpenter,
08:12I heard it from a prominent, respected artist on television.
08:15Who?
08:16Our next guest is a world-famous rapper and
08:19$1,000 for something barely worth anything!
08:21How? How does something like this happen?
08:25Wonderful! That'll make me feel really good!
08:28Who's Stan?
08:42Nice bolo ties, Stan.
08:45Thanks.
08:47Bolo ties are really in right now.
08:50It's cool you have one.
08:51Look, it was a gift from my grandpa, okay?
08:53And it cost a lot of money.
08:55No, dude, it's badass.
08:57Oh, baby, your name is like a song.
09:00A melody stuck in my head so long.
09:02I can't help but smile when I hear it said,
09:06Bebe, the name always in my head.
09:08Oh, God, it's so obvious.
09:11I...
09:11You guys!
09:12You guys, oh my gosh!
09:13Oh my gosh!
09:14What is it?
09:15What happened, Bebe?
09:16Clyde just sent me another text.
09:19Oh!
09:20Oh, what'd this one say?
09:21I texted him if he thought about me all the time,
09:24and he texted back.
09:25It certainly seems like all the time.
09:27It's hard to get someone like you out of my mind.
09:29Aw!
09:31Doesn't he just send the best texts ever?
09:33Yes, he does.
09:34He sure does.
09:35Yesterday I texted him,
09:36how do you know you're in love with me?
09:38And he said,
09:39I know I'm in love with you
09:40because spending time with you
09:41makes me feel like I'm home
09:42and I can't imagine life without you.
09:44Aw!
09:45Sweet!
09:46Clyde wrote that?
09:48OMG, Clyde,
09:49do you really care about me that much?
09:51Does Dan ever talk to you like that, Wendy?
09:53No.
09:54Every time I send Stan a text,
09:56he just responds with a thumbs-up emoji.
09:57Yeah, well, Clyde is just really into me.
10:00Oh, he's texting back.
10:02Yes, I do care about you that much.
10:04You mean a lot to me,
10:05and I care deeply about you.
10:07Aw!
10:08He sure is in love with you, baby.
10:10He's a goddamn dreamboat!
10:14Good.
10:15He's gone.
10:17I hope sending Joan to JFK was a good move.
10:22Ah!
10:23Ah!
10:33I'm not stressed.
10:40Teach me.
10:44Attention, everyone!
10:47Today, I ruined much more than a luncheon.
10:49I ruined the best friendship I've ever had
10:52with the best person I've ever known.
10:54Joan is creative and funny
10:56and deserves to be popular.
10:57I deserve to be punished.
10:59And for that punishment,
11:01I deserve to have hot wing sauce
11:03poured into these paper cuts.
11:05Who's with me?
11:07Sorry.
11:08Who's against me?
11:09Woo-hoo!
11:10Woo-hoo!
11:12Woo-hoo!
11:14Woo-hoo!
11:14Woo-hoo!
11:15Woo-hoo!
11:18Ah!
11:20Ah!
11:21Ah!
11:22Ah!
11:22Ah!
11:22Ah!
11:24Hey, Joan, uh, there's a really boring
11:26black and white film festival tomorrow.
11:27You want to come with us?
11:28Of course!
11:30Thanks, guys.
11:32Ah!
11:32I-I'm sorry, Joan.
11:33I don't know much about this crazy new world we're living in,
11:36but I do know that you make it a better place.
11:38I really hope we can be friends again.
11:41Oh, Abe.
11:42I always want to be your friend.
11:44Whether it's 2003 or 2000-and-whatever this is.
11:48Do you think we could ever maybe be more than friends?
11:50Hey, JFK!
11:55So then Kelly, I guess, told Stacy that she wasn't invited,
11:58so now Stacy's pissed at us.
11:59Hey, guys, can I talk to you?
12:01Why?
12:02Just, can I talk to you real quick?
12:06What kind of stuff is the new girl saying about Token?
12:09About Token?
12:10Why?
12:10Well, Token's really shy, so I'm just here sort of on his behalf to,
12:14you know...
12:15Token likes Nicole?
12:17Yeah, of course.
12:18Oh, yeah!
12:19I don't think she has any idea.
12:21Yeah, so could you guys just let her know that, you know,
12:23she might have to make the first move?
12:24Okay.
12:25Thanks, you guys.
12:28One, two, three, four...
12:30Sorry, baby!
12:31Oh, that's okay!
12:33So, Nicole, guess what?
12:35One of the boys here already has a crush on you.
12:38Oh!
12:39Oh my gosh, who?
12:41That boy Token.
12:42Oh, he's really nice, Nicole.
12:44I dated him for a little while.
12:45Yeah, yeah!
12:46Go for it, Nicole!
12:47Oh, jeez.
12:48Thanks, you guys.
12:49But to be totally honest, I kind of think this other boy is cute.
12:52Who?
12:53Who, who, who, who, who?
12:53That kid with the orange coat and the green hat.
12:56Oh, you mean Kyle?
12:57Yeah.
12:57She loves Kyle.
12:59What?
13:00How?
13:00Nicole loves Kyle.
13:02Nicole and Kyle sitting in a tree.
13:05K-I-S-S-O-N-G.
13:07Shut up, you guys.
13:08It's just a crush.
13:11Motherfucker!
13:14We are cows, proud and true.
13:16Come on, South Park, moo, moo, moo.
13:18Go cows!
13:23Remember, cue the finale when I get to the bottom of the stairs.
13:26Music.
13:28Huh?
13:32Why, tuba?
13:47God, it ruined it.
13:49I'm sorry.
13:50Don't take the tuba off.
13:51You don't need to know who I am.
13:53Confucius, you don't need to try so hard.
13:55I knew you were at definitely a Hawkeye 69 all along.
13:58And I still like you.
13:59You do?
14:00You're not let down?
14:01Even after I just super beefed it?
14:04I'm the opposite of let down and I want to shout it from the rooftops.
14:07We're a couple.
14:08Yes!
14:09Let's announce in the most romantic way that teens know how.
14:12An unsupervised house party announcing our relationship to the whole school.
14:17Jinx, you owe me a kiss.
14:22Lesson number one.
14:23I've been thinking about your proposal and the more I think about it, the more I realize
14:28I'm thinking too much.
14:30What I'm trying to say is I'd love to be your girlfriend.
14:32I say we celebrate with some tongue twisting, huh?
14:38Red leather yellow leather, red leather yellow leather.
14:41She sells seashells by the sea shore.
14:43Haha, alright.
14:44Now let's kiss in the French style.
14:47With poodles on our lap while appeasing Germany.
14:50I'm gonna eat.
14:51Ooh.
14:54Ah, dinger!
15:20I'm faux or nice.
15:21No.
15:22You're the only one third one.
15:22It's delineally.
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