bandicam 2023-10-25 12-47-38-983

Eli Pootiepie

Watch bandicam 2023-10-25 12-47-38-983 - Eli Pootiepie on Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00You

00:30Are you sure making a documentary revealing your evil plan is the best idea?

00:38It first got the idea for Clowney Island after seeing the movie Jurassic Park 3

00:43But my ill-conceived amusement park will be filled with human clones instead of zoo animals

00:49It's as foolproof as the amusement park in the movie itself

00:54is it prom season already?

01:02He beat me up for prom king in high school and every year. He calls to wrap it in

01:07John

01:09Good to hear from

01:11Yes, I do remember that

01:14Yeah, you won all right

01:17So say hi to Rebecca for me. Oh, okay. Sure. I will

01:24Stavos!

01:25No!

01:26There goes my whole day!

01:29I hate Stavos!

01:31My ass!

01:32Stavos!

01:33Damn him and his jet black hat winning smile!

01:38Oh, I'm a failure!

01:41Stavos!

01:42Stavos!

01:43Stavos!

01:44Why not me?

01:49I have an idea!

01:56An idea that can make you as good as new!

02:01Are you programmed to be thinking what I'm thinking?

02:06Makeover!

02:08Jesus Christo, do you know the story of Joan of Arc?

02:12Yeah, I seen a movie that got on DVD once.

02:14She was like 16, right?

02:15And then God told her to make the Frenchies fight the Inglises.

02:18You know, the people that drink tea all the time and have big teeth?

02:20And then people started getting mad because she was hearing voices.

02:22And then at the end, she got cooked like a steak.

02:24Pretty good.

02:25I give a thumbs up, homes.

02:26Basically.

02:27See, I've never been able to live up to her.

02:29That's why, instead, I became a cynical, angst-ridden goth girl.

02:33But now, I'm hearing voices.

02:36Religious voices.

02:38Damn!

02:39Hey, they tell you who's gonna win the Latin Grammys?

02:41If it's Ricky Martin, don't tell me, hey, don't tell me.

02:43It's Ricky Martin, huh?

02:44This is totally freaking me out!

02:46Hey, take a hit, relax.

02:49And so the other thing that makes my Trapper Keeper cooler than Kyle's

02:53is that it can add any peripheral device to itself automatically.

02:56I can take something as simple as this calculator and... Trapper Keeper?

02:59Trapper Keeper active.

03:00Hybrid with Wellington Bear Calculator.

03:02Ready for hybrid.

03:03And now I can use Wellington Bear Calculator, too.

03:06May I hold your Trapper Keeper?

03:09Uh, no, I'm afraid not, Bill Cosby.

03:11Because it is coded to the prints on my fingers.

03:13If anybody but me tries to hold it,

03:15big metal spikes come out and pierce through the hands.

03:17I'll...

03:21I saw you on TV last night.

03:22It's really like a celebrity now.

03:26Really?

03:27Then why don't you hold it?

03:29Well, go on, Kyle.

03:31If it doesn't have metal spikes, then hold it.

03:34Hold it.

03:35I'm gonna hold it.

03:36I will.

03:37And that's how the relationship with...

03:39It was able to slowly take over every computer in the world.

03:42It became stronger and stronger until by the year 2018,

03:46it broke away from mankind and there was nothing the humans could do.

03:50It wasn't long before mighty Trapper Keeper started to destroy everything it saw as useless.

03:56Including humans.

03:58The nations tried everything to stop it.

04:00Nuclear devices,

04:01seismic missiles,

04:02but nothing worked.

04:03The humans built robots of their own,

04:05whole armies of them,

04:07but nothing was strong enough to stop Trapper Keeper.

04:12And so finally,

04:13the...

04:15Why not me?

04:17I...

04:18I...

04:19I work so hard!

04:23No...

04:24Nobody knows!

04:25Yes!

04:26She's in here!

04:29I have so much to have to get!

04:40You've got crabs, ass face!

04:43Try and catch me, bitch!

04:48What?

04:49Cookie, what?

04:50Man,

04:51I can't believe the only way I can see my girlfriend is on TV.

04:55I know how you feel, man.

04:57We'll see who's laughing when Cleo's wearing my Letterman's jacket.

05:02On a cable TV show!

05:04But if she's happy with JFK,

05:06then she'll never want to be with me!

05:08I'd just be standing by watching them have the best life

05:11while I get older and older and older all alone

05:14with those gross yellow fingernails that need to be clipped

05:16and no one ever doubt me!

05:19I can't believe my eyes.

05:22He's not wearing my jacket!

05:25I'll never make it.

05:28Maybe I can help Slice Dog!

05:30Belushi!

05:31But I'm no match for that gang of snow sharks!

05:33Don't worry, bro!

05:34Belushi gonna stream it hardcore!

05:37No way!

05:39Hop on!

05:40Extreme sports, you!

05:48Hey!

05:49Let's go surf the internet!

05:51Well, what should we do with all this extreme blue?

05:53Spray it in your face and slam it!

06:04Damn it, Billy!

06:05Do you want a dollar or don't you?

06:06Sure!

06:07Okay!

06:08I thought you were whack, Black,

06:09but now we both learn that when East meets West,

06:12it's deadly!

06:14Uno momento, Black and Dan!

06:16Eat shell!

06:17Go to hell, Senor Peeny!

06:18Last one there's a rotten huevo!

06:19Oh!

06:20Ah!

06:21Ah!

06:22Ah!

06:23Ah!

06:24Ah!

06:25Ah!

06:26Ah!

06:27Ah!

06:28Ah!

06:29Ah!

06:30Ah!

06:31Ah!

06:32Ah!

06:33Ah!

06:34Ah!

06:35Ah!

06:36Ah!

06:37Ah!

06:38Ah!

06:39Ah!

06:40Ah!

06:41Ah!

06:42Ah!

06:43Ah!

06:44Ah!

06:45Ah!

06:47Ah!

06:48Ah!

06:49Ah!

06:50Ah!

06:51Ah!

06:52Ah!

06:53Ah!

06:54Ah!

06:55Goddammit!

06:56Ah!

06:57Ah!

06:59Wow, G-Dub, you saved my life.

07:01Hey man, would you stay if I rewrote your character?

07:03Ah!

07:04Ah!

07:05Ah!

07:06Three cheers for the nuke

07:13Come back here, you buffers, you son of a busy

07:19Don't let him touch you

07:22You die if he touches you

07:23I'm over here, you son of a whore

07:26How would you like to make a dollar, Billy?

07:29Remember, you're Gabe

07:31Gabe Lincoln

07:33Now your motivation is that you're in love with your best friend

07:37But you just haven't told her yet

07:39And go

07:40Line

07:41Ugh, there is no line right now

07:43You just scream and weep

07:45And go

07:45Oh, no, you don't understand, Abe

07:52This film is embarrassing

07:54I scored 100

07:55Hi, Stan!

07:57I was just in the bathroom

07:58And Miss Ellen was in there taking the biggest dump I've ever seen

08:02No, she wasn't

08:03Yes, she was

08:04But

08:04But you don't understand

08:07Or do I?

08:09No

08:09Or is it yes?

08:11No, let me in

08:13You can try all you want

08:14Yeah

08:15Well, the apartment's all finished

08:17I couldn't have done it without you, Mr. B

08:20And speaking of without you, go hide in the kitchen

08:23But, Wesley

08:25My entire career is riding on the success of this dinner

08:28And I don't need the electronic help muddling it up

08:32Owns

08:34A jive-talking, smooth-walking, typical Indian super cop

08:38Who plays by his own rules

08:40None

08:41Together they are

08:43It doesn't work that way, Gandhi

08:50The something is on the closed-circuit TV

08:54Abraham Lincoln

08:59Honest Abe

09:01Or so he'd have you believe

09:03Last year, Abe said he was 15 years old

09:06Now he-

09:07Whoa

09:08Billy

09:10Grandpa?

09:14That's right, Billy

09:16My name's not Billy, Grandpa

09:18And what's wrong with you?

09:20Why do you look all haggard?

09:21I asked you to kill me, Billy

09:23But I was wrong

09:25And now I'm forced to spend eternity in limbo

09:28Limbo?

09:29I was wrong to put you in that position, Billy

09:32Just like you're wrong to put little Billy in it now

09:36You're so obsessed with ending your life

09:38You're not thinking about what you're doing to his

09:41You must wait to die of natural causes

09:44But I've been waiting for 25 years

09:47Let nature run its course

09:49Or else end up in limbo

09:51Natural causes, Billy

09:53Natural causes

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