- il y a 4 jours
The Beverly Hillbillies (season 1) s01e10-pygmalion-and-elly
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed.
00:03A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.
00:06And then one day he was shooting at some food.
00:09And up through the ground come a bubble and crude.
00:12Oil, that is.
00:13Black gold.
00:15Texas tea.
00:17Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
00:20The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.
00:23Said, California is the place you ought to be.
00:25So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.
00:27Hills, that is.
00:30Swimming pools.
00:32Movie stars.
00:33The Beverly Hillbillies.
00:53Now come along and visit with the Clampett family.
00:57As they learn the simple pleasures of the hills of Beverly.
01:01That includes the products of your sponsor of the week.
01:05The cereals of Kellogg's.
01:07Kellogg's of Battle Creek.
01:09K-E-double-L.
01:10O-double-good.
01:11Kellogg's.
01:11Best to you.
01:23Now quit out of here, Jed.
01:25Come on.
01:26Randy, that's a lot of darn nonsense.
01:28Come on.
01:29It ain't no such thing.
01:31Now it ain't gonna hurt you none.
01:32I got things to do.
01:34The first thing you gotta do is sit down here and get your hair cut.
01:38My hair don't need cutting.
01:40If it gets any longer, I'll have to braid it.
01:43I declare it.
01:44You fight hair cutting like a steer fights and branding.
01:48Well, the last time you cut my hair, you did brand me.
01:51How did I know somebody poured hot gravy in my bowl?
01:58It's smarted considerable.
02:00Sure plastered your hair down nice, though.
02:04You know, I might go to selling that stuff.
02:07Greedy?
02:09Sure made your hair look mighty sprucey.
02:12Yes, sir.
02:12You were slicker than a peeled onion.
02:15Smell like one, too.
02:17Sir, I'd go to selling that stuff.
02:20I could put a ad in one of them catalogs.
02:23If you want the girls to stop and stare,
02:25put Granny's gravy on your hair.
02:29All right, Granny, come on.
02:31Let's get on with it.
02:32Hey, Uncle Jed.
02:34You're getting your hair cut.
02:36Thanks for telling me, Jethro.
02:39Oh, that's all right.
02:40You're next, Jethro.
02:41What's going on?
02:42Is there gonna be a wedding or something?
02:44I could be, the way that Sonny Drysdale is a sparkly illy mate.
02:48He's with her right now, up by the cement pond.
02:50Well, I better get right out there and keep by him.
02:53Now you sit still and leave those young'uns alone.
02:56Can't you remember how it was when you was aboard?
03:00Yeah.
03:02I better get right out there.
03:05It's broad daylight.
03:07And besides, they swim.
03:08No, they ain't.
03:10He's a-sittin' on the bank.
03:11And he's a-holdin' her hand.
03:15Well, an interesting hand you have.
03:17I see a man, a handsome man, a handsome Harvard man.
03:22Where?
03:22Right there, on your heart line.
03:25Oh, that's just the one I got from picking up toast.
03:30Ellie, you mustn't let horrid, slimy creatures touch you.
03:34Oh, heck, you ain't slimy, Sonny.
03:36Just a mite greasy from all that oil you smear on yourself.
03:41What a precious paradox you are.
03:44What a charming contradiction.
03:45You look pure Park Avenue and you speak pure Tobacco Road.
03:49That good?
03:50Good?
03:50It's fascinating.
03:51You're a challenge to me, you child of nature.
03:54You are the raw clay from which I will mold a perfect woman,
03:58worthy of a perfect man.
03:59Me.
04:00Do you know Shaw's Pygmalion?
04:02I don't even know Shaw, let alone his pig.
04:06Oh, you woodland sprites!
04:08You forest-little bird.
04:12You are so refreshing after all those intellectual types of Basser and Wellesley.
04:17You make me feel superior.
04:19That good?
04:20Good?
04:21It's divine.
04:40I am Caesar, and you are a fair-skinned captive, a barbarian slave.
04:45Shall I drag you through the streets of Rome behind my chariot?
04:48Or shall I throw you into the arena with my lions?
04:52No, Caesar has other plans for you, my little savage.
04:56You shall be my slave, yes.
04:58But only the invisible bonds of love shall make you my prisoner.
05:05Come, I shall strum upon my lyre.
05:11And recite odes to your beauty.
05:14What say you to that, fair maiden?
05:16How speak you now to mighty Caesar?
05:20I declare, Sonny, you're more fun than a buck in a tag post.
05:33Sit still, I'm liable to lop off your ears.
05:35Well, don't you, Granny, hurry up.
05:37I gotta get out there and keep an eye on Sonny and Ellie.
05:39You want me to go out and see what they's up to, Uncle Jed?
05:41Now, you just sit still, the both of you.
05:43I'd expect Ellie Mae to get a husband if you don't let the boy spark her.
05:47Well, Ellie ain't never been learned about such things.
05:51Jed, sparking is like breathing.
05:53You don't learn to do it.
05:55Somebody slaps you and you go at it.
05:59That boy slaps you.
06:01Now, I declare you're wigging worse than a worm in a bait bucket.
06:06You want your daughter to be an old maid?
06:08Of course not.
06:10Next year, she'll be too old to get a husband.
06:12She's almost 18.
06:14Very little.
06:15Sure is.
06:16She done waited too long, Uncle Jed.
06:19One old boy wants to marry up with a middle-aged woman.
06:23Ellie Mae can get herself a husband any time she wants to.
06:26Why, she's the prettiest and...
06:28Oh, now, don't get your old feathers riled up, you old rooster, you.
06:31Ellie Mae will be all right if you just leave her alone.
06:34Well, I ain't sure Sonny Drydale's good enough for her.
06:37He's considerable older than she is.
06:39Well, don't worry about that, Uncle Jed.
06:41His family lives a heap longer than most folks.
06:43Yeah?
06:44Yeah.
06:45Sonny told me that there's been a member of his family a-living in Boston since 1632.
06:50Well, that rascal's over 300 years old.
06:54He was a-creening you.
06:56Yeah, you sure swallowed a whopper.
06:58No, ma'am.
06:59Sonny's honest.
07:00Why, he's so honest, he has to have somebody do his lying for him.
07:04Do his lying for him?
07:05Yes, sir.
07:07Well, I heard him call through the heads to Ellie.
07:08Ellie, he says, I'm coming over to serenade you, and I'm gonna bring my lyre.
07:16Bene, bide, bide, bide, the world lies conquered at my feet.
07:21And yet, I tremble at the nearness of this flaxen-haired barbarian.
07:27Could it be that the invincible Caesar is about to be vanquished?
07:31Not by the spears and arrows of the Gallic tribes, but by Cupid's dart?
07:38Yes, fair maiden, you have done what your fierce kinsman could not.
07:43You have brought mighty Caesar to his knees.
07:46Come, I will take you to my palace,
07:49and there compose odes to your beauty.
07:53See, yon window,
07:56tis the emperor's suite.
07:58There I shall woo you.
08:03Mother!
08:08That's my room!
08:09And those are my binoculars!
08:12You're not supposed to spy on the emperor!
08:18What are you trying to tell me, Sunny?
08:21Mumsy can see you, but she can't hear you.
08:29Yes, darling, Mumsy is watching.
08:32You look magnificent.
08:34Like Apollo.
08:35The god of manly youth and beauty.
08:38The god of poetry and music.
08:45Look out!
08:46You're getting near the water.
08:48Be careful.
08:49Wait!
08:50Mummy will get your inner tube.
08:53Come, fair maiden,
08:55and I shall sing of your golden trusses
08:57and your azure eyes
08:58and your skin of alabaster
09:00and your other charms
09:01that set me aflame.
09:03You mean you really burn it?
09:05Yes, dear one.
09:07And only you can put out the fire.
09:10Okay.
09:16How's that, Sunny?
09:17You feel better now?
09:19Mm-hmm.
09:33All right, Ms. Ezra.
09:34You're next.
09:37Oh, hi, Ellie Mae.
09:38Where's Sunny?
09:39Well, he run home to his mama.
09:40You didn't throw him down and hurt him again, did you?
09:42Well, let's know, Pa.
09:44He caught fire, so I wetted him down in the pond.
09:47Sound like you've done the right thing.
09:49How'd you catch fire?
09:50He said it was my charms that set him to burn it.
09:53What charms were you toting?
09:54Well, just my sack of crawdad bones and my buckeye.
09:58You never heard of crawdad bones and a buckeye starting to blaze.
10:02What happened to your rabbit's foot?
10:04Oh, I didn't have it.
10:07There you are.
10:08You can expect trouble when you ain't toting a rabbit's foot.
10:11You know what my teacher over at pot school said about toting a rabbit's foot?
10:14What?
10:15She said it's a superstitious invocation contradicted by scientific knowledge.
10:22It's always nice to know you ain't been doing something foolish.
10:28Don't you worry, Nunn Ellie.
10:30You go jump into a purdy dress,
10:32and I'll walk you up a love charm that I guarantee will bring Sonny Drysdale back.
10:38Yes, I am, Mother.
10:39I'm going back.
10:40Sonny, darling, you're delirious.
10:43Oh, here, breathe some of this penicillin.
10:47What's that for an ambulance?
10:49Mother, I am perfectly all right.
10:52Of course you are, precious.
10:55A nice rest in an oxygen tent is all you need.
10:59I don't need an oxygen tent or an ambulance.
11:02All right.
11:03All right.
11:05Just relax.
11:06And Mumsy will call the police.
11:08Police?
11:09But of course.
11:11I mean to have that violent, dangerous girl arrested for attempted drowning.
11:15Mother, you will not call the police.
11:18I'm going back there right now to see how you may.
11:21Ah, darling, that's very brave of you,
11:24but you're in no condition to make a citizen's arrest.
11:28Mother, I'm not going to arrest her.
11:31I want to help her.
11:33To work with her.
11:34To tutor her.
11:36What?
11:37She's like a wild, wonderful jungle cat,
11:42and I'm going to tame her.
11:46Sonny, you are delirious.
11:49I'll call the doctor.
11:51Mother!
11:51My mind is made up.
11:53That girl needs me.
11:54For the first time in my life, somebody really needs me.
11:58I need you.
11:59The whole world needs you.
12:01Ellie Mae Clampett needs me, and I need her.
12:03I'll be your Pygmalion.
12:04And she'll be my Galate.
12:09Sonny, you're not becoming emotionally involved with that creature.
12:13She's not a creature, Mother.
12:15She's a girl.
12:16A wild, wonderful, beautiful, ravishing girl.
12:21Yes, I am becoming emotionally involved.
12:24Honey, I forget it.
12:27She's not socially acceptable for my baby.
12:30Mother, I'm not your baby anymore.
12:34I'm a man in search of a woman.
12:37I'm a man in search of a woman.
12:42Where did you learn that language?
13:05Where did you learn that language?
13:08Hello, Duke.
13:10You noble veteran of the chase.
13:12Are you homesick for your forest paths and mountain trails?
13:16You look like a cashier waiting for the bank examiners to arrive.
13:26You know, if you were a cashier, you could hide a million dollars in you.
13:39There goes that music again.
13:42Did you ever find out where that's coming from?
13:45No, sir, I didn't.
13:46Every time I went to looking for it, somebody always come to the door.
13:53This time, I'm going to find it for sure.
13:57You see?
14:02Oh, bonjour, Geoffro.
14:05Oh, howdy, Miss Hathaway.
14:07No, no, no, no, no.
14:08When I say, bonjour, Geoffro, you say, bonjour, Mademoiselle Jane.
14:14I say, bonjour, Mademoiselle Jane.
14:18Bonjour, Mademoiselle Jane.
14:21That's very good.
14:22Except for the moi.
14:24It must be soft.
14:26Moi.
14:28Moi.
14:29No, no, no, no, no.
14:30Watch my lips closely.
14:33Moi.
14:34Try that.
14:37Moi.
14:38Try it again.
14:40Moi.
14:41That's closer.
14:42Try again.
14:44Moi.
14:45Once more.
14:47Moi.
14:48Close in on her, Geoffro.
14:52Oh, Mr. Clavitt, I was attempting to teach Geoffro to articulate the Gaelic diphthong.
14:57No matter what fancy name you call it, he ain't very good at it.
15:02He'll learn.
15:03But now to the purpose of my visit.
15:05Is Sonny Drysdale here?
15:07No, but he will be.
15:09Granny's out in the kitchen whomping up a love charm for Ellie to give to him.
15:12She said to bring him on the run.
15:15Mr. Clavitt,
15:17I am reluctant to disillusion you about so-called love charms,
15:20but they are mere superstitious invocations
15:22and have been proved to be completely ineffective.
15:25Granny sets great store by him, too.
15:45Here you are, Ellie.
15:46One guaranteed love charm.
15:48Guard it with your life.
15:50What's in it, Granny?
15:51Oh, I doesn't tell you.
15:52Leastways, not just yet.
15:54But I'll give you the secret
15:56before I go on to my reward like my Granny done to me.
16:00I'll guard it, too, Granny.
16:02Granny!
16:05Granny, Mr. Clavitt tells me
16:06that you conjured up some sort of love charm for Ellie Mae.
16:09Right here it is.
16:11It's made out of all secret stuff.
16:13That is ludicrous,
16:14irrational,
16:15sophomoric,
16:16and pure hokum.
16:19You didn't even guess one ingredient.
16:21No, Granny.
16:24Ah, don't you come spying.
16:26I'm telling you,
16:27for the good of the country,
16:28if the secret of this love charm ever got out,
16:31I'd shiver to think what might happen.
16:34I wouldn't want it on my conscience.
16:39Hear me now, mongrel.
16:40Neither sleep,
16:42nor snow,
16:43nor vicious beast
16:44shall keep me from the side of my beloved.
16:46Here I come,
16:48ready or not.
16:54So,
16:54you still think it won't work, huh?
16:57That is correct.
16:58All right, Ellie.
17:01Open up the powder, Mike.
17:04Now, when I drop this tartan powder in it,
17:06quick, close it,
17:07press it to your heart,
17:09and say,
17:10darling, darling,
17:11my true love,
17:12come a-swoopin' like a dove.
17:16Darling, darling,
17:17my true love,
17:18come a-swoopin' like a dove.
17:20This is Ellie!
17:22Ellie!
17:24I have flown to your side
17:26in spite of all danger.
17:28What fate,
17:29what power have I to thank
17:31for giving wings to my feet?
17:34That little old charm maker,
17:36me.
17:36Me.
17:38Me.
17:41Me.
17:47And now,
17:48we shall begin the transition
17:49from Tobacco Road
17:50to Park Avenue.
17:52Now, you watch me closely,
17:53and I'll show you how to develop
17:54perfect posture
17:56and grace of movement.
17:58Ah, Kipling.
18:00Well,
18:01do you like Kipling?
18:03I don't know.
18:03I ain't never Kipple.
18:06Oh, you are a challenge,
18:08you ravishing rustic,
18:09you child of nature.
18:11Now, here, you try.
18:15There we are.
18:16Now, walk.
18:17Oh!
18:19You'll have to try that again.
18:20Now, sit down.
18:22Now, watch me.
18:25We walk as though
18:27upon a cloud,
18:28and we glide
18:30with lissom grace,
18:31and as we walk,
18:33we always keep
18:34a smile upon our face.
18:37What's he doing?
18:39That there is something
18:40called Kipling.
18:42He's trying to learn it,
18:43Ellie.
18:44Now, this is how
18:45you sit in a chair,
18:46smoothly,
18:49and gracefully.
18:51There ain't no chair
18:52where he's a-sittin'.
18:53I know.
18:55What do you reckon's
18:55wrong with that rascal?
18:57Appears to me
18:58he's about two bricks
18:58shy of a load.
19:03Turn old Duke loose
19:04so he can go in there
19:05and protect Ellie.
19:09Now, we'll practice
19:10diction and intonation
19:11at the same time.
19:15How now,
19:17brown cow?
19:18How now,
19:20brown cow?
19:21What's he talking about?
19:23He thinks old Duke
19:24is a cow.
19:26You best fetch Granny.
19:28Appears to be
19:28she threw too strong
19:29a charm on that boy.
19:39There you are.
19:41One guaranteed charmer.
19:43Now,
19:43you hold a bag
19:44while I sift in the starter.
19:45I know this is all
19:47a lot of absolutely
19:47ridiculous nonsense.
19:49Please hurry.
19:55Darling, darling,
19:56my true love,
19:57come a-swooping
19:58like a dove.
19:59I better open this door
20:01before he busts it in.
20:05Miss Jane.
20:06Here he is.
20:07Granny's love charm
20:08is too strong.
20:09Don't fight it.
20:10It's bigger than both of us.
20:12You circled on me.
20:13Granny,
20:14come quick.
20:15The love charm
20:15you throwed on
20:16Sunday Drysdale
20:16was too strong for him.
20:18Thank you, Granny.
20:21How now,
20:22brown cow?
20:25How now,
20:26brown cow?
20:28How now,
20:29brown cow?
20:31How now,
20:32brown cow?
20:38How's it going,
20:39Uncle Jed?
20:40Bad.
20:40Now he's got Ellie
20:41believing old Duke
20:42is a cow.
20:43Are you going to break
20:44a charm, Granny?
20:45I reckon so.
20:47I'll sprinkle him
20:48with some
20:48letting go of her.
20:50Come on,
20:50you're at it.
20:51You sprinkle some
20:51on Miss Jane.
20:52She's shutting off
20:53the blood to my arm.
20:54How now,
20:55brown cow?
20:56Secret powder,
20:57white as snow,
20:58make the charm
20:59of love let go.
21:07The smell is broken.
21:09Now please,
21:09everybody listen to me.
21:11I must have complete
21:12quiet and concentration
21:14if I am to transform
21:15this bucolic beauty
21:17into a sophisticated
21:18debutante.
21:20Now,
21:20I have studied drama
21:21at Yale,
21:22Harvard,
21:23Princeton,
21:24and Dartmouth
21:25and I am probably
21:26the only living man
21:28who can accomplish
21:29this difficult
21:30cultural metamorphosis
21:31in the brief time
21:32available.
21:34Now,
21:35everybody please go
21:36while I transfuse
21:37into this simple
21:39untutored mind
21:40the charm,
21:42the polish,
21:42the splendor
21:44that a Sonny Drysday.
21:53Jen?
21:55Hi, Granny.
21:57Is Ellie and Sonny
21:58still in that room alone?
21:59It was the last time
22:00I was listening,
22:01a couple hours ago.
22:02They was talking about
22:04the rain in Spain,
22:06a land in the plain.
22:08Well,
22:08I guess he can't be up
22:09to no nonsense
22:10if they're talking
22:10about the weather.
22:13Doggies,
22:13I can't wait to see Ellie
22:14all polished up
22:16and talking like Sonny
22:17and Miss Jean.
22:18While you're waiting,
22:19I got something for you.
22:21What is it?
22:23A love charm.
22:25Witness Sam Hill
22:27I want with that.
22:28Ain't what you're wanting
22:29is what you're getting,
22:30a woman.
22:31And it's high time
22:32you got one
22:32being a widower.
22:34Besides,
22:35the moon is right.
22:36That's why this stuff
22:38is working so high-fired
22:39powerful.
22:40So here.
22:41Well,
22:42I ain't interested
22:43in none of these
22:44la-dee-da
22:45Beverly Hills women,
22:46so here.
22:47Well,
22:48they're interested
22:48in you,
22:49so here.
22:50Who says?
22:51Yes,
22:51Rose says.
22:52Jethro don't know
22:53nothing,
22:54so here.
22:55I reckon Jethro
22:56ought to know
22:56what's going on
22:57in his own school.
22:59Besides,
23:00I saw her
23:01making sheep's eyes
23:02at you,
23:03so here.
23:04You caught who
23:05making sheep's eyes
23:05at me?
23:06Mrs. Millicent
23:07Schuyler Potts,
23:08that's who.
23:09Oh, now.
23:10You did?
23:13An educated woman
23:14like that.
23:15Jethro says
23:16she asks for you
23:17every day.
23:18Hmm.
23:19Oh,
23:20what she want
23:21with an old
23:21mountain goat
23:21like me.
23:23If I was to put
23:24a little starting
23:25powder in there
23:25and you was to
23:27say the magic
23:27words,
23:28no woman
23:29could resist you.
23:31Oh,
23:32I don't hold
23:33with stuff like
23:33this.
23:34You're a skirt,
23:36ain't you?
23:37Oh,
23:37I ain't a skirt.
23:41Then go ahead.
23:43I double dog
23:44dare you.
23:47Well?
23:48Open the pouch,
23:49you might.
23:52Now.
23:53Well,
23:53this is just
23:53a lot of
23:54doggone nonsense.
23:55Close it tight,
23:57clamp it to your
23:58heart,
23:58and say the words.
24:07Darling,
24:08darling,
24:08my true love
24:09come a-swooping
24:10like a dove.
24:11Where is he?
24:12Where's my dog?
24:14It's Mrs. Drysdale.
24:17Where is he?
24:19Oh,
24:19where is he?
24:21Oh,
24:22I tried to stay away,
24:23but I could not.
24:25He's mine,
24:25and no other woman
24:26shall have him.
24:28Drysdale,
24:28you're a married woman.
24:29Think of your husband.
24:30Come on.
24:31I don't care about
24:32my husband.
24:32I want my darling,
24:34and no one is going
24:35to keep me from him.
24:36I sure hate
24:37to have to do this,
24:38but...
24:43Sonny,
24:43where are you,
24:44Sonny?
24:45He's inside
24:46with Ellie May.
24:47If you just calm
24:47yourself down,
24:48I'll go and get him.
24:50He's a-coming,
24:51Mrs. Drysdale.
24:53Howdy, Ma.
24:54Was you a-hollering
24:56for me?
24:57Oh,
25:00they brainwashed you.
25:20Well,
25:21now it's time
25:21to say goodbye
25:22to Jed and all his kin.
25:24They would like
25:25to thank you folks
25:26for kindly dropping in.
25:27You're all invited
25:28back next week
25:29to this locality
25:30to have a heaping
25:32helping of their
25:33hospitality.
25:35hillbilly,
25:36that is.
25:36Set a spell.
25:38Take your shoes off.
25:40You all come back now.
25:41Hear?
25:44Radio Free Europe
25:45needs your help
25:46to fight communism.
25:48Give now
25:49to Radio Free Europe.
25:53This has been
25:54a Filmways presentation.
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