- 23 hours ago
مسلسل How I Met Your Father مترجم - Episode 1
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:19How's Call My Son?
00:20Lights on.
00:22It's 20.50. How does this still not work?
00:25Call my son.
00:28And turn down the damn lights.
00:31Hi, Mom.
00:33Oh, hi, sweetie. Oh, you look tired.
00:36Okay, thanks for calling.
00:38Are you busy?
00:39Not really. Just finished studying.
00:42Good. Because I want to tell you the story of how I met your father.
00:47I already know how you met Dad.
00:49Ah, you know the basics.
00:50But it's time for me to tell you the unabridged version.
00:54How many glasses of that wine have you had?
00:56Yeah, just enough to include the sexy bits.
01:00Oh, good God. Here we go.
01:02Now, like a lot of love stories back in 2022, this one starts with a Tinder date.
01:08Excuse me.
01:09Actually, it starts with me being late to a Tinder date.
01:12Don't hit me. Don't hit me.
01:13Uh, Sophie?
01:15Yeah?
01:16Hey, I'm Jesse. This is my best friend, Sid. Don't mind him. He's just hitching a ride.
01:19Oh, ask me why I'm hitching a ride.
01:22Come on. Ask me.
01:24Uh, why are you hitching a ride, Sid?
01:26I'm proposing to my girlfriend tonight.
01:29Wow, girlfriend! Not gonna be saying that much longer. Soon it's gonna be nothing but fiancé, fiancé, fiancé, fiancé, fiancé.
01:36Sophie, be a dear and choke me out with this charging cord, would you?
01:39Ooh, actually, can I use it? Because my phone's belly is hungry.
01:42She's all, feed me, mama.
01:47Okay, tell me everything. Who is she?
01:48Okay, so her name's Hannah. She's a surgical resident in L.A., so we've been doing the long-distance thing
01:53while I'm here running my bar, Pemberton's.
01:55Uh, look at you locking down a surgeon.
01:58How are you gonna ask her?
01:59So, she thinks we're gonna go see Beyoncé tonight, but really, I got all our friends waiting at my bar
02:03to surprise her.
02:05You think she's gonna be a little bummed that you're not actually seeing Beyoncé?
02:08I keep telling them she's gonna be bummed.
02:09A lifetime with me is better than Beyoncé.
02:12Sure.
02:14So, uh, what about you, Sophie? What's going on at the Rosewood Bar?
02:19Okay, uh, I know this might sound crazy, but I think I've found the man that I'm gonna spend the
02:25rest of my life with.
02:27Hmm.
02:27Yeah. Only thing is, he's from Tinder, and we haven't actually met in real life yet.
02:31Ooh, right, you've got mail.
02:33More like you've got unrealistic expectations for this date.
02:37Okay, I know how this sounds, but I am not some wide-eyed dope who thinks she's found truth.
02:43True love every time some douchey iBanker swipes right and texts,
02:47SUB.
02:48My last Tinder date was the worst one yet. The guy showed up 20 minutes late.
02:52Sophie?
02:54Sorry I'm late.
02:55That's okay. Subway delay?
02:58Uh, no, actually, I was, uh, I was on another date before this, and, uh, let's just say it went
03:03well.
03:04Like, uh, like really well. Like I just had sex.
03:09He told you that?
03:11Oh, why would he tell you that?
03:12That's not even the worst part.
03:13He actually thought that telling me he just had sex was charming.
03:17He thought I'd just laugh and smile and say, that's so crazy,
03:21because God forbid a woman in this city actually expects anything from a guy.
03:25Even if it's just the basic decency to not tell her he just had sexual intercourse with someone else.
03:30What is wrong with everyone?
03:34And right there, outside that bar, I decided to quit Tinder.
03:39But when I went to deactivate my account, I matched with Ian.
03:44You matched with Ian?
03:45She matched with Ian.
03:46Yeah.
03:47It started with your typical flirty banter.
03:49You know, just, um, getting to know you stuff.
03:52Who was your first celebrity crush?
03:55Tia Mowry.
03:56You?
03:58Buzz Lightyear.
03:59Oh, an astronaut made of plastic.
04:02Freaky.
04:05And then we started to actually get to know each other.
04:08What kind of photography do you do?
04:10Right now, I shoot stuff like birthday parties and engagement photos to pay the rent.
04:14But my heart is in street photography.
04:17That's when you sneak up on a stranger, take their picture, and then run away before they punch you, right?
04:22That's exactly right.
04:24What do you do?
04:25I know this sounds made up, but I'm a marine biologist.
04:29That is 100% made up.
04:31And before long, we were texting all day.
04:34All night, too.
04:36First kiss?
04:36Mabel Greyhound.
04:37Seventh grade.
04:38You cook?
04:39One of my favorite hobbies.
04:40Here's my hot takeout tie.
04:41I've always loved fish.
04:42Check out what I saw tonight.
04:42I have a confession.
04:44I've been thinking about you all day.
04:46Oh, my God.
04:47Ian, ask a girl out already.
04:49I was thinking the exact same thing.
04:51So, are you ever going to ask me to meet you in real life?
04:55I'd love to, but I'm in Australia for work for the next two weeks.
04:59So, we made plans to meet up when he got back.
05:02And that brings us to tonight.
05:04And my last first date ever.
05:06Wow.
05:07That's romantic as hell.
05:08I know, right?
05:09And what does the killjoy think?
05:11Hey.
05:12Look, I got a real good feeling about this Ian guy.
05:16No.
05:16No, I can't do it.
05:17No, the truth is, the chances of this guy being your soulmate are lower than low.
05:21I mean, there's a better chance of you giving me a five-star review after this rude assessment I'm making.
05:26Speaking of which, don't forget your phone.
05:29Ah, thanks.
05:32Happy proposing.
05:32I do.
05:39What?
05:40Ooh, you liked her.
05:42Did not.
05:43Did too.
05:44Did not.
05:45Did not.
05:45Did too.
05:46Damn it.
05:54Ian.
05:55Sophie.
05:56Hi.
05:58Hi.
05:59And thus began the best first date I'd ever been on.
06:03A date so good, you don't even check your phone.
06:06Whoa.
06:07I know.
06:10You know, we should go see that new movie next week where Joaquin Phoenix plays Amelia Earhart.
06:16And then it happened.
06:20What?
06:22Okay, so, Sophie, the thing is, I'm moving to Australia.
06:29You just got back from there.
06:31I know.
06:32It was only supposed to be a research trip, but right before I left, they offered me a full-time
06:36job on a team that's helping endanger coral reef procreate.
06:41Can't you just light a candle and put on some soft rock?
06:46I mean, that always works for me.
06:51When are you leaving?
06:54Tonight.
06:56Tonight.
06:57I only came back to New York to pack and sublet my place.
07:00I know I should have told you this sooner.
07:03I was just afraid that you wouldn't come.
07:06And I had to meet you, Sophie.
07:12And so, we decided it would be a bad idea to start a long-distance relationship after just a few
07:19weeks of texting and an amazing first date.
07:24Goodbye, Sophie.
07:27Goodbye, Ian.
07:33I kind of want to kiss you right now.
07:37I kind of want that, too.
07:43Um, I think it's best if we don't.
07:47Maybe someday.
07:52Yeah.
07:53Someday.
08:12I was devastated.
08:14But at least I was coming home to my bestie, Aunt Valentina.
08:18She was just back from Fashion Week in London.
08:21Oh, I'm so happy you're home.
08:23I miss you so much.
08:24We don't have time for I miss you's dish.
08:26How was your date with Ian?
08:27Was he tall?
08:27Yes.
08:28Was he a good listener?
08:29Yes.
08:30Were his eyes as kind as his photo?
08:33Yes!
08:36Why aren't you jumping?
08:39Because he's moving to Australia.
08:43Soph, I am so sorry.
08:47Did you bang one out anyway?
08:51Oh, at least I still have you.
08:54You know what?
08:54We can just be two single New York ladies doing it for ourselves.
08:57We can start a podcast called Who Needs Men?
09:02Oh, about that.
09:04We can workshop the title later.
09:05Oh, my God!
09:06Oh, my God!
09:07A pervert.
09:08A pervert.
09:09No, no, no, no, no.
09:09Please don't scream, have an extremely delicate face!
09:11He's not a pervert.
09:13This is Charlie.
09:15Okay, he's sort of a pervert, but in a good way.
09:18It must be Sophie.
09:20It's a real pleasure.
09:21Oh, my God.
09:23I'll go round up a row.
09:26Funny story.
09:27We met at London Fashion Week.
09:29Hit it off.
09:31Big time.
09:32One thing led to another, and now he lives with us.
09:37So, back to you and Ian.
09:38Wait, what?
09:38I know.
09:39This is fast, but when he told his crazy, fancy, high society family that he was heading
09:45to New York to be with a Mexican assistant stylist, they made some very outdated, ugly
09:51Betty jobs, and then they cut off his trust fund.
09:55They mag and marbled you guys.
09:57Although it's for the best.
09:58I mean, who needs unlimited wealth in palaces?
10:00I will get by on my charm and my street smarts.
10:04I can see your penis again.
10:06Oh!
10:07Stay in there, lad.
10:09There my undies are.
10:11That's right.
10:13Completely forgot we started out here with all the fruit play.
10:21You might want to toss those.
10:23These were organic.
10:26So, I said I know this is fast, but I am super into him, and I decided I am not
10:31going to
10:31let something as irrational as rational thinking stand in the way of that.
10:35And that's when I realized.
10:37I let rational thinking stand in the way of me and Ian.
10:39I mean, sure, he's moving to a different continent, but, you know, I've got tons of miles.
10:43We can always have face sex.
10:44Oh, what is face sex?
10:46I think she's mixing up FaceTime and phone sex.
10:48I'm the cool friend.
10:50I have to tell Ian that ending things was a mistake.
10:53Yes.
10:53Yes.
10:54Tell him.
10:55Oh, I love that for you, and this is where you say you love.
10:58My British guy moves in with this plan for me.
11:05Ah, this isn't my phone.
11:08I must have taken the wrong one when I got out of the Uber.
11:11I've got to get to Pemberton's right now.
11:13Can we come with?
11:14I can't wait to see the real New York.
11:16Can we take a subway?
11:17I've always wanted to see what the subway's like.
11:20So, that's what a subway's like.
11:22Does it always smell like that?
11:24No.
11:25Sometimes it's way worse.
11:27One time I was in a car where one guy was peeing, one guy was pooping, and one guy
11:30said I was dead.
11:31Oh, the subway trifecta.
11:33Hope you made a wish.
11:39Surprise!
11:41Sophie, you're not Sid.
11:43Why are you not Sid?
11:44Because you gave me his phone instead of mine when I got out of your car.
11:47Wait, so I've been tracking you this whole time?
11:49Okay, guys, we do not have eyes on Sid.
11:51Everyone back to your hiding spots.
11:52Okay, what is Sid's ETA?
11:53Literally any second, so I really need you to hide.
11:55Good, good, because I'm not sure what time Ian's light is, but I've got to talk to him
11:58before the plane takes off.
11:59For the love of God, hide!
12:01I freeze, under pressure.
12:03This is why I've been hit by three city bikes.
12:15What are you doing?
12:17I'm still smelling that train.
12:18It's in my hair.
12:20There's a stranger's body odor trapped in my hair.
12:24Um, hello?
12:26Sorry.
12:27Didn't see you there.
12:28I know.
12:29That's why I said, um, hello.
12:32I was feeling creepier and creepier with every second that passed.
12:36I'm Ellen.
12:36I just moved here from Iowa.
12:38Oh, and I'm Jessie's sister.
12:40Adopted, obviously.
12:41I mean, it's not obvious to me.
12:43I have no idea who Jessie is.
12:45Have you taken the train yet?
12:46It's an underground freak show.
12:47We got it.
12:48You hated the train.
12:50So, what brings you to New York?
12:52I'm getting divorced.
12:54Oh, my God.
12:55You poor thing.
12:56Little Crescent, Iowa, has 600 people in it, and she was the only other lesbian.
13:00We both knew it had run its course.
13:02So, I moved to New York to start over, reconnect with my brother, and ask out Kate McKinnon.
13:08Whoa!
13:09Do you know Kate McKinnon?
13:10No.
13:12Do you?
13:15Where the hell are they?
13:17Hey, hey, hey, look, look.
13:18Sid is my best friend, okay?
13:19And if you were in charge of my proposal, purely hypothetical, I'm never getting married,
13:22but he would make sure it was perfect, all right?
13:24So, I can't have your peaking head ruining his big night.
13:26All right, all right.
13:30Why are you never getting married?
13:32Uh, I'm never getting married because the one girl I wanted to marry broke my heart, okay?
13:38Wait a second.
13:39No.
13:40I know you.
13:41And here we go.
13:42You are the guy from the video.
13:45The video was an unfortunate incident that had recently gone viral.
13:49Jessie.
13:50What's she's going to say now?
13:51Oh, my God.
13:51I'm sorry.
13:52I, I...
13:53That's poor shot.
13:54What a loser.
13:55What a disaster.
14:00Now, she's in Europe recording her first solo album, and I'm known all around the city as Mr. Proposal Fail.
14:05You know who liked the video last week on Twitter?
14:07Michelle Obama.
14:09How did you forget the Beyoncé tickets at the bar?
14:13Surprise!
14:16What's happening?
14:19Hannah.
14:21I remember the moment I fell in love with you.
14:25It was our first year of med school, and we were dissecting dead bodies, and, um, you leaned over, and
14:32you said to me, you said,
14:33Hey, you know how to get to the stomach?
14:36You take the splenic route.
14:39And I thought, oh, this is the girl for me.
14:47Hannah, I believe we can make it through anything together.
14:50Even if, sometimes, we take the splenic route.
14:55Hmm.
14:55So, Hannah, will you marry me?
15:07Yes!
15:10Yes!
15:13Oh, I can't believe I'm getting engaged and seeing Beyoncé!
15:18Ooh.
15:19I can't believe I'm getting engaged!
15:22Yeah!
15:28Look at that.
15:29The proposal that won't haunt and traumatize him forever.
15:32Good for him.
15:33I love you so much.
15:36I love you more.
15:37And I love hilarious phone mishaps!
15:42I swapped in an Uber.
15:43A Basel Tov, by the way.
15:45Uh, here, it's dead, which feels very on-brand for you.
15:48Oh.
15:52Oh, my God.
15:54What?
15:54There were so many men urinating in there at once.
15:57Just a cacophony of piss!
16:01Wait.
16:01Now you're too fancy for stalls?
16:04Darling, I use stalls.
16:07That's where we keep the ponies.
16:09Valentina, I think I've made a terrible mistake.
16:11I don't think I can live in this hellscape.
16:13This hellscape is my daily life, you prissy royal bitch!
16:18Hey!
16:22Mmm!
16:23Mmm!
16:24Hold on, one second.
16:27Oh, my God!
16:28Alun just became available for my patient!
16:31Yes!
16:32Oh!
16:33Honey!
16:34Oh, it's all over your shirt!
16:37It's okay.
16:38Babe, I am so sorry, but I have to get back to L.A.
16:42Hey, look, my sister's hanging out with your friends.
16:45She's kind of a loner, so I really want her to meet people.
16:49Oh, yeah.
16:50Seems like they're really hitting it off.
16:52Hmm.
16:53Hey, as soon as my phone power's on, I'm out of here.
16:56But I wanted to tell you, you can't give up on love just because of your proposal fail.
17:01I know that there is a Brooklyn Bridge girl out there for you somewhere.
17:07Am I supposed to know what that is?
17:09Because you look like you practically moved yourself to tears just now, but I have no idea what you're talking
17:12about.
17:14It's this thing I made up.
17:16Okay.
17:16See, I've lived in New York since college, but I've never walked across Brooklyn Bridge.
17:22And after a while, I waited so long that I decided I would wait and walk it with my soulmate.
17:29You're one of those people whose parents actually stayed married, aren't you?
17:32College sweethearts, married for 30 years sort of thing.
17:34So you're like, if they found each other, there must be someone out there for everyone, blah, blah, blah, blah,
17:38blah.
17:39Right?
17:40Yeah.
17:41Something like that.
17:42Must be nice.
17:44Those of us who grew up in the real world, not so sure.
17:48So your phone's back?
17:49Yes.
17:51Aw.
17:53Ian sent me a pic holding his boarding pass and looking sad.
17:56Aw.
17:57I'm going to call him.
18:00Wait.
18:01Look.
18:03I can see all of his flight info.
18:05Cool.
18:05He's got TSA pre-check.
18:08He would.
18:10I've always talked about getting that, but it's like a whole thing.
18:13No, not the point.
18:16I'm going to go to JFK and tell him that we're meant to be.
18:19Really?
18:20Hey, uh, can I borrow your car?
18:22I need to take Hannah to the airport.
18:23Hi.
18:24What?
18:24Emergency surgery calls.
18:26Seems like the universe wants me to take everyone to the airport.
18:29Okay.
18:29Yes.
18:30What are you coming?
18:31I am.
18:31Oh.
18:33Wait.
18:34You can't leave me alone with Charlie.
18:36I think I hate him.
18:37We live with him.
18:39I know.
18:41Valentina, don't abandon me.
18:43I have nowhere to go.
18:44I need to sell my body to survive.
18:50Hey, sis.
18:51We're all going to the airport.
18:52You forgot me, didn't you?
18:54What?
18:55Who could...
18:55Yeah.
18:56Completely forgot you.
18:57I'm sorry.
19:03And so, we all went to JFK to tell him that I wanted us to be together.
19:09There he is.
19:12Oh, God.
19:13Don't let this be the next proposal fail.
19:16Wait.
19:17Aren't you...
19:17It's actually Mr. Proposal Fail.
19:19But yes.
19:22Ian.
19:24Sophie?
19:25What are you...
19:25I've been on 87 Tinder dates this year.
19:28Okay.
19:28All of them were duds.
19:30Just to be clear, I don't do, like, sexy stuff with all the guys.
19:33A lot of the times, I just have a white wine and talk.
19:36I also want to be clear that I am not judging anyone who does hook up on every date.
19:40It's just not my style.
19:41But if it's someone else's, that's her business, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
19:44This is getting away from her.
19:47Look.
19:48What I'm trying to say is that we live in confusing times where it's really hard to meet someone
19:54and connect and have it feel easy.
19:59And tonight it felt easy.
20:03Other than the Australia thing, which feels insurmountably hard.
20:07But we can get through it.
20:09I know that we can.
20:12What do you say?
20:17Sophie, I'd love to make it work, but it's a 14-hour time difference.
20:23And I'm going to be living out at sea for weeks on end without service.
20:28It'd just be way too hard.
20:31Oh, this is brutal.
20:34I'm really sorry, Sophie.
20:36But maybe someday.
20:38Right?
20:39Yeah.
20:41Maybe.
20:42Maybe.
20:44Maybe.
20:53But I didn't want to wait around for some day.
21:02I'm doing it.
21:03I'm walking the bridge without the love of my life.
21:08Sounded more triumphant in my head.
21:09You walk that bridge, girl.
21:13That surprisingly clean and actually rather majestic bridge.
21:17You don't have to pretend to like this for me.
21:21I'm not pretending.
21:23I really do think it's stunning.
21:26Brimming with life and personality.
21:32It's like you.
21:36Charlie, do you know one of the reasons I fell so hard for you?
21:41Because my charm is old boy, but my body is old man?
21:45No.
21:46It's because I thought you were brave.
21:49You've lived this incredibly pampered life, but you walked away from it all to take a chance
21:56on us.
21:59Charlie, this city is magic.
22:03And so am I.
22:08Do you want to be a part of that magic or not?
22:12I do.
22:15Very, very much.
22:22If Sophie can walk across this bridge totally alone, and Sid can have a good attitude about
22:29his fiancée ditching him, and you two can try to make your completely doomed relationship
22:35work, then I can stop obsessing over my divorce and ask a woman out to divorce.
22:42To divorce.
22:44To dinner.
22:44Damn it.
22:45You'll get there.
22:50This is good for Soph.
22:51She needed this.
22:52What?
22:53She's going to be fine.
22:54She's got her parents' magic love story to keep her stupidly optimistic.
22:58Magic love story?
22:59Yeah.
23:00Sophie's mom is a party girl who bounces around from boyfriend to boyfriend.
23:04Her dad wasn't even in the picture.
23:06The only thing magical about Sophie's life is that she still believes in love at all.
23:13How have I never walked this bridge before?
23:16Not too much.
23:19Now we're talking.
23:20Now listen, what are we going to do for dinner?
23:21Because it's late, but I'm not going to start.
23:25Thanks for having us over for drinks, guys.
23:27Yeah, of course.
23:28I mean, hot engagement sex, drinks for total strangers, two equally good things.
23:38Wow.
23:39Love your place.
23:41Thanks.
23:41It was a total score.
23:43We got it from this old married couple who posted it on the Wesleyan alumni group.
23:46We even got them to leave their swords.
23:52So that's it.
23:54That's the night I met your father.
24:03But you guys didn't even get together.
24:05Get together?
24:06Well, that's a much longer story.
24:08And when was I?
24:10Why didn't I put that bottle of wine in?
24:11Sooner or later, love is gonna catch ya.
24:15Sooner or later, girl, you got to give it.
24:19Sooner or later, love is gonna let ya.
24:23Sooner or later, love is gonna win.
24:27It's just a matter of time before you make up your mind.
24:31Give all that love that you've been hiding.
24:34It's just a question of when I've told you time and again.
24:38I get all the love you've been denying.
24:42Sooner or later, love is gonna get ya.
Comments