- 5 hours ago
مسلسل Bad Thoughts مترجم - Episode 1
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00:16I love you too.
00:38Havana, you got 24 hours, Agent Six.
00:42Don't get yourself killed.
00:44Could be fun.
00:47In my line of work, I'm always on the road.
00:54New city, new name.
01:00New target.
01:04Whiskey.
01:06Big ice cube.
01:08They tell me you are looking for El Escorpión.
01:12Not tonight.
01:14But I never lose myself.
01:19It's a job.
01:22I have a routine.
01:25No attachments.
01:32Follow your rules.
01:37I only have one.
01:41No women.
01:43No children.
01:48Oh, fuck.
01:50Maybe she's okay.
01:52Oh, fuck.
01:55Oh, my God.
01:56Oh, my God.
01:59Oh, my God.
02:01Fuck.
02:08Sex here.
02:10Is it done?
02:12Yep.
02:14Got her.
02:16Her.
02:17Your target was a man.
02:19Uh, no, it wasn't.
02:22Target you sent was a blonde woman.
02:24Unless you're saying that the man, I mean, I'm not going to assume their pronouns, it's a female presenting person.
02:32Six.
02:33You killed the wrong target.
02:34I don't know what to tell you, PQ, but the way this works is you send a photo of a
02:38person and I kill them.
02:39The only way it gets fucked up is if you send the wrong photo.
02:43Holy shit.
02:44You shot the wrong photo?
02:45I didn't.
02:46You did.
02:47You got an innocent woman killed.
02:48Now you're going to deny it.
02:49You don't connect me with HR.
02:50We don't have an HR.
02:52Exactly.
02:53That's how we end up in situations like this.
02:54Look, I got to go, man.
02:55I don't know what the fuck to tell you.
02:57In my line of work, I only have, uh, two rules.
03:02I got this fucking place.
03:03No children.
03:05And, uh, never lose your cool.
03:11Oh.
03:19What the fuck?
03:22Ugh.
03:24Fuck.
03:25What the fuck did I eat?
03:27Fuck.
03:28I got ice.
03:29Where did I drink the ice?
03:31This is fucked.
03:33Oh, shit.
03:35It's fucking everywhere.
03:36I hate my ice.
03:37Jesus Christ.
03:39Ugh.
03:41Oh, fuck.
03:51I'm at the harbor right now, dude.
03:53There's a paid ticket that I have.
03:54They're going to leave if I don't get on the boat.
03:57Okay?
03:57This guy's going to take off.
03:59Fuck.
03:59Hold on.
03:59The bags.
04:01Pick the...
04:01Six.
04:01Pick the bags with me.
04:02Más rápido, señor.
04:05Keith, I'm in the fucking jacket.
04:07I, uh...
04:08Hey!
04:09Oh, it's you.
04:10Yeah.
04:10Uh, would you do me a favor?
04:12Would you, would you fuck a friend of mine?
04:14Oh, no.
04:14Actually, you don't have to really, like, fuck him.
04:16You could just play with his dick.
04:17I mean, he probably comes fast.
04:18Uh, you understand?
04:19Like, uh, too, uh, uh, sexo con mi amigo?
04:23Oh, desgraciado que se ca...
04:25No, uh, you know what?
04:27Scratch that new plan.
04:29You're making me pull out the big guns here, buddy.
04:30That's some wild shit.
04:31Why is it?
04:32You like sloppy top, right?
04:34What?
04:35Blowjobs.
04:35I'll give you a blowjob.
04:37Make sure nobody learns about this,
04:38and I will give you a blowjob...
04:41...on your morning commute.
04:42Agent Six.
04:42...every day.
04:43Now, if I go out of town,
04:44I'll double up when I get back, all right?
04:46And I will not act like it's a chore.
04:48I will work at it.
04:49I'll learn what you like,
04:50and I'll take my time.
04:52I will enjoy it.
04:54You want me to put my finger in your ass?
04:55I can do that, too.
04:56I don't mind getting a little dirty.
04:58Then you can just bust
04:59right as we're pulling into the party.
05:00Come on.
05:01Please let me do this.
05:02I want to be your cum slut.
05:04I want you to fill me up.
05:06Fill up my belly
05:08every day with your yum yum.
05:10Sauce.
05:11I want to train your nuts.
05:14And I don't have a gag reflex.
05:15I've never told you that.
05:16So my throat,
05:19which has no gag reflex,
05:21is yours.
05:23You own my throat
05:26every day.
05:28Please.
05:29Does this guy ever shut the fuck up?
05:32Mask, speakerphone?
05:34And video.
05:35What the hell is sloppy top?
05:38Uh, what's that?
05:41You guys are breaking up my batteries, dying.
05:43We got you at 85%.
05:46In my line of work,
05:47there are no rules, actually.
05:51I just can't be handcuffed by rules.
05:54So, you know what I mean?
05:56Oh, except for that no children rule.
05:59The no children is a good rule.
06:02I don't kill kids.
06:06My child!
06:07No!
06:08My one-week-old child!
06:10Can somebody come shoot me?
06:17Uh...
06:18Jobs are tough.
06:19I mean, I wouldn't know,
06:20because mine is not.
06:22I'm a comedian.
06:23You know that dumb shit
06:24you get sent to HR for saying?
06:25I get paid for that.
06:27But other people's jobs are...
06:33Messy.
06:34You ready, boys?
06:37Also messy.
06:38Some people are great at their jobs.
06:4155 years, not one kid hit by a car.
06:44Other people are bad at their jobs.
06:46Like my piece-of-shit assistant, Reed,
06:48who is a completely inept fucking moron
06:50who is only still here
06:52because I hate confrontation.
06:54Doing great, bud.
06:55Sorry, sir.
06:57I may be a lowly comedian,
06:58but it's a job I take very seriously.
07:01As you'll see from the stories
07:02I'm about to share with you.
07:08Let me be perfectly clear from the start.
07:10This isn't so much a job
07:12as a responsibility.
07:14Our residents,
07:15they don't have much time.
07:16What they need
07:17is consistency and order.
07:20Ow!
07:22They don't like change.
07:24Do you understand?
07:25Si.
07:26Yes.
07:27I understand.
07:31When I see a wrong in the world,
07:35to leave it
07:37would be a betrayal
07:38of my own heart.
07:40Mr. Fletcher!
07:42Mr. Fletcher!
07:44You gotta see this.
07:53I pay you to clean,
07:55not to dance!
07:57Signore,
07:57these people are not ghosts.
07:59They are not shadows of the past.
08:02We must give them more.
08:04You're a liability.
08:06I don't know what this man is doing,
08:09but he's incredible.
08:11I used to be an opera singer.
08:13You have a beautiful voice.
08:15They're alive again, sir.
08:17The man has a gift.
08:19How is he doing this?
08:23Leaky my ass.
08:24Leaky.
08:25What the fuck?
08:27Yes.
08:28You are my nasty girl.
08:29Yeah.
08:30Yes.
08:32What the hell is going on?
08:34Signore,
08:35I give them life.
08:36I come so hard.
08:38They eat in my ass.
08:40Now you understand.
08:41No.
08:42No, I don't understand.
08:44You get out.
08:45You get out now.
08:47Coward!
08:48I do it for them!
08:49I do it for them!
08:52Massimo!
08:53Please calm down.
08:54This is very cut and dry.
08:56He was not cut,
08:58and I was not dry.
09:00I didn't even get to eat his ass.
09:02We want Massimo.
09:04They won't eat, sir.
09:06It's been weeks.
09:07I don't know what to do.
09:21I am a simple man from Sardinia.
09:24Where I am from,
09:26we take care of our elders.
09:28We show them love.
09:29It fills them with life.
09:31You treat them like they're already dead.
09:34These are beautiful people.
09:37Look at Marta.
09:38She can garden again.
09:40Basta, basta.
09:41No more.
09:43And John,
09:44he play a baseball catch
09:46with his bambino.
09:49Dorothy.
09:50She learned that she love it.
09:52Nipple torture.
09:53He's nice.
09:54Yes!
09:55Yes!
09:59It's unorthodox.
10:01I can't argue with the results.
10:03I can't argue with the results.
10:04Massimo can stay.
10:06Bye!
10:07Bye!
10:10This is my home!
10:12I never know where!
10:14This is my home!
10:16Forever!
10:18I'm pregnant.
10:20I'm pregnant.
10:21Excuse me?
10:25No.
10:28English.
10:30What?
10:31I don't speak English.
10:34He definitely speaks English.
10:36No, no.
10:37Hey.
10:38He's calling an Uber.
10:40No, no, no.
10:41I, uh, I go to Walmart.
10:44I come back.
10:45Ten minuti.
10:46You stay.
10:47Uber for Massimo?
10:49Going to the airport?
10:50Fuck.
10:51Okay.
10:52I come right back.
10:54No, no, no, no, no.
10:56He'll be a monster.
10:57Let's go.
10:57Let's go.
10:58Let's go.
10:58Let's go.
10:58Let's go.
10:58Let's go.
10:59Let's go.
11:06Let's go.
11:07Go, go, go, go, go.
11:09Okay.
11:10Bye-bye.
11:12Fucking Italians.
11:16Fuck my life.
11:20We need to increase efficiency in the fourth quarter if we're going to keep the board at bay.
11:26So, I'm expecting big things from your team, Evan.
11:30Evan, are you even listening?
11:33Uh, sorry, sir.
11:35I, uh, I'm just a little thrown by the IT guy.
11:39All right.
11:40Cyrus from IT is using the latest tech to update our servers, which should help us with our efficiency objectives.
11:48Now, if you'll look at the numbers from the latest manned projections, page three clearly lays out the efficiency measures
11:56that will put a cap on cost overruns that put us in the red on two of the last four
12:01quarters.
12:02Part of that was due to Tampa not coming through with the metrics we requested.
12:06We do not want to pull another Tampa.
12:09Sir.
12:09You'll, you'll.
12:12What's going on?
12:13I was really cranking.
12:15Yeah, what are you doing?
12:17Updating our server with the new software patch and getting us back online?
12:21What's it look like I was doing?
12:22I mean, it looked like you, you had two, uh, look, I, why, why are you doing your work in
12:31here?
12:31Can't you do it in your office?
12:33And Miss Cheryl's birthday?
12:35No.
12:37I guess I was just raised different.
12:39Plus, I don't want a repeat of Oliver's birthday.
12:42I didn't get any of that cake.
12:43That was some good cake.
12:45It was.
12:45Can I get back to it, please?
12:49Yes, of course.
12:50Jesus Christ.
12:52Anyway, legal wanted me to remind all of you that any and all sales contracts need at least three days
12:59of lead time.
13:00Oh, Doc.
13:01If, however, you have a sale that needs to be...
13:02That's a big one.
13:03You can reach out to Marcy Malloy, lead counsel, and she can turn around contract approval in as little as
13:10one business day.
13:11Just don't abuse that.
13:13And please, please do not forget to...
13:16Oh, come on, sir.
13:18He's clearly using that headset for virtual reality porn.
13:22I'm sorry.
13:23Did you just say virtual reality porn?
13:26Is that even a thing?
13:27You just mimed unzipping pants and said, whoa, doctor, that's a big one.
13:32I unzipped a server file that's absolutely huge.
13:35I've never seen printer drivers this size.
13:38Okay, but then you pumped.
13:41I mean, you were pumping...
13:43Lube?
13:45Thank you, Cheryl.
13:47Lubrication was the word I was looking for.
13:49You were pumping lubrication.
13:51Okay.
13:52After I unzipped the server file, I pushed down the excess data.
13:57And then I just rubbed my hands together because I was cooking, man.
14:00Yeah, what about all the licking?
14:02Oh, my God.
14:04I have severe carpal tunnel from working with computers all day.
14:07Okay?
14:08So I activated the oral control, including the tongue toggles, so I could be more efficient, sir.
14:14Why am I explaining myself to you, Evan?
14:16Do I come into your office and ask you about the numbers on why our tax liability in China
14:20has tripled since you joined the company?
14:23No.
14:24I'll let you do your work.
14:25Let me do mine.
14:25Okay?
14:26As far as I know, I'm the only one here who knows how this software works.
14:30Maybe I'm mistaken.
14:31Do you?
14:33Do you?
14:34How about we just get back to work?
14:37The sooner we finish, the sooner we have cake.
14:41Sound good?
14:42Okay.
14:43He was eating ass.
14:45I don't know how servers work.
14:47This technology is the future, ladies and gentlemen.
14:49Six months from now, you're all going to be using it.
14:53So adapt or die.
14:59Well, speaking of tax liabilities, Evan, why don't you give us an update?
15:04I'd love to, sir.
15:05Oh, come here, little buddy.
15:08That's a good boy.
15:10As you know, over the past several quarters, we have had a tariff increase.
15:16Oh, yeah.
15:17Tight, little buddy.
15:18Our projections are show...
15:23Oh, he's Eli.
15:24He's so tight.
15:25My...
15:26Sir, he's being a little Chinese girl.
15:29Evan, let the man do his work.
15:31I'm so sorry.
15:36You know what?
15:37Let's just do cake.
15:38Okay.
15:41Yeah.
15:42Let's get the cake.
15:44Come on, guys.
15:45Happy birth.
15:46Happy birthday to you.
15:48Come on.
15:49Happy birthday to you.
15:53Happy birthday, dear Cheryl.
15:56I'm almost there.
15:57Happy birthday to you.
15:58I'm at you.
15:59Ah!
16:04Oh, look.
16:06The servers are back online.
16:08You're welcome.
16:09Good job, Cyrus.
16:11Thanks, Cyrus.
16:12Thanks, Cyrus.
16:12Oh, Christ.
16:16Hey.
16:19Where's my slice?
16:22Oh, no.
16:25I'm sorry.
16:26Cyrus, all out.
16:28I guess I'm not so good with numbers.
16:32All right.
16:33Did everyone get cake?
16:34Good.
16:35Double slice.
16:36Friend, do you have a slice?
16:37All right.
16:39Cut that piece in half.
16:41Great.
16:42Let's eat some cake.
16:45This is fantastic.
16:48Wow.
16:48Who picked this up?
16:49Now this is cake.
16:53Now this is cake.
17:26Transcription by CastingWords
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