- 18 hours ago
مسلسل Black-ish مترجم - Episode 2
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Every garage eventually turns into a family museum full of forgotten treasures.
00:05Oh, babe, look what I found.
00:08The twins' onesies from our We in the White House party.
00:11So cute.
00:13Oh, wow.
00:14I spilled a whole lot of Kill Royale on our babies.
00:17And mixed in with all those memories, there's always something that's better off left bare.
00:21Babe, this entire box is filled with your hair experiments.
00:25Look at this.
00:25Oh, relaxer.
00:28All your pics.
00:31Ha, styling gelée.
00:32It laid it down.
00:33Yeah, it did, but it's gone now.
00:35But every now and then, amidst the garbage, you stumble across that one timeless gem.
00:41Hey, look at this.
00:43Let's see.
00:44Junior's old mitt.
00:45Oh, my goodness.
00:46I remember the day I realized that he was not going to make me a proud father on the baseball
00:50field.
00:51Oh, wow, they grow up so fast.
00:53How are you?
00:54Whoa, whoa, where are you going?
00:55I'm going to go play catch with my son before it gets too late like cats in the cradle.
01:00Hey, Junior, look what I found in the garage.
01:02Your old baseball.
01:03Let's go!
01:06Oh!
01:11Oh!
01:11Oh!
01:15Oh!
01:15Oh!
01:16Oh!
01:16Oh!
01:17Oh!
01:18Oh!
01:18And it winked right at me.
01:26So after you bailed on the garage, I gave everything to the gardener.
01:30So don't be surprised if you see Pedro wearing a jerry curl.
01:34You okay, babe?
01:35You having a little traffic jam?
01:37I'm fine.
01:38You pulled something playing catch yesterday, didn't you?
01:41Stretching does not make you gay, Dre.
01:43I accidentally walked in on Junior as he was engaged in hand-to-gland combat.
01:50Oh, God.
01:51He's been doing that for a while.
01:53He was even afraid he was going to break it from doing it too much.
01:57Adorable.
01:58Oh, my God.
01:58Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:59He came to you with this?
02:01Yeah.
02:01When we had the talk.
02:02You and Junior had the talk without me?
02:05Babe, how could you keep me out of the sex talk loop?
02:07Dre, please.
02:09You are uptight with this kind of thing.
02:12I mean, look at the way you wear your towel.
02:19Just because you grew up in a house full of naked hippies doesn't make you Dr. Ruth.
02:23My parents talk to us openly about everything, and that's why the kids come to me.
02:27It's what I do.
02:29And I do it pretty good.
02:32Zoe hasn't said two words to you all month.
02:34She's going through a phase.
02:35Oh.
02:35She'll talk to me if it's about something big.
02:37Unless you want to talk to her about her menstrual cramps.
02:40I just might.
02:40All right.
02:41Right after I get into the sex talk loop with Junior.
02:45Hater.
02:46Ah!
02:49There's my boy.
02:51A boy about to become a man with the sexual wisdom only a father can throw down.
02:59Afterward.
03:01I can't believe this is happening to me.
03:03I'm devastated.
03:05Devastated.
03:06Is everything okay, hon?
03:08It's so not okay.
03:10I mean, I'm seriously going to cry all night.
03:12Sounds kind of big.
03:13You know you can always talk to me.
03:15I'm fine, Mom.
03:16Okay.
03:17Kill me.
03:18I'm just saying.
03:19I'm that type of mom.
03:20I'm very open.
03:21You know, my parents never wore clothes.
03:24Stop.
03:25It's nothing.
03:26It's totally world ending.
03:29Meet me in the bathroom.
03:31What?
03:31Brain tissues.
03:34Actually, I said that.
03:35Have a great day, sweetheart.
03:40Hey, Dre.
03:42How's life?
03:43Oh, well, this L.A. tourism account...
03:46No, no, no, no, no, not work life.
03:47Life life.
03:49You are, uh, you're part of my inner circle now.
03:51Hearing that validates the struggle of my entire journey.
03:55And HR says if I occasionally ask about your personal lives, it reduces the risk of an office shooting.
04:02Okay, well, since you asked, you have a son, right?
04:05Uh-huh.
04:06How did you go about giving him the talk?
04:09Oh, the stop being rude to your 26-year-old stepmother talk?
04:13It is a minefield.
04:14No, no, no.
04:15I mean the sex talk.
04:18Well, that was easier.
04:19I just told him what my father told me.
04:21What?
04:22Out of state, out of mind.
04:25You know, my pops never gave me the talk.
04:28Hell, I didn't see him without his shoes on until I was 30.
04:31Oh, well.
04:32Don't worry, Dre.
04:33You got this.
04:33You'll figure it out.
04:34You always do.
04:38Mom, I know I'm in your space.
04:40Just ignore me while I put away all your clothes for you.
04:43No, um, do you remember that thing I was talking about in the car this morning?
04:47Um, I think so, maybe.
04:50I could really use your advice.
04:53Oh, well, I'm sure I could squeeze you in before I go in there and scrape the boogers
05:00off Jack's headboard.
05:01Okay, well, listen to this craziness.
05:04So, this girl said I took her from the-
05:06I knew she'd come to me.
05:08Why wouldn't she?
05:10I'm such a good mom.
05:12She's lucky to have me.
05:14Zoe hasn't said two words to you all month.
05:16Suck it, Dre.
05:17Anyway, what should I do?
05:20What now?
05:22About everything I just said?
05:26You got any advice?
05:29Uh, it's a lot to chew on.
05:32It's like, it's a lot of facets to this one.
05:35You know, and it's like a little diamond.
05:36I'm gonna, I'm gonna get back to you.
05:37I'm gonna think about it.
05:38So, okay?
05:39I'll be right back.
05:40I'm gonna get back to you.
05:42Oh, you tweaked your neck again, huh?
05:45Huh?
05:45See, that's because you don't stretch.
05:47I know it looks a little gay, but it works.
05:49What?
05:49I'm about to go upstairs and give Junior the talk.
05:52Mm-hmm.
05:53Hey, pops, how come you never gave me the talk?
05:56I most certainly did.
05:57I mean, what do you think that box of condoms I left in your bedroom was about?
06:00That was it?
06:01Oh, you wanted a hug, too?
06:03Son, listen to me.
06:05Don't get all caught up in this having open dialogue with your kids hoopla.
06:08It's not natural.
06:09Show me one place in the Bible where a kid talks.
06:12And for God's sakes, put some shoes on.
06:16So nobody was any help.
06:18Pops, my boss.
06:19I was on my own with Junior.
06:22Hey, son, it's your father.
06:25I'm coming in in five, four...
06:28Come in, Dad.
06:30Whew.
06:30Okay.
06:32I'm sorry about yesterday.
06:33I guess I should have locked the door.
06:34All right.
06:35No need to apologize.
06:36You're a man, and that's what men do.
06:38Not me as much.
06:40Let's talk about it.
06:42Anything and everything.
06:44Let's get our sex talk on.
06:46Oh, Mom covered it all pretty good.
06:48Yeah, maybe about the birds and the bees, but I'm your daddy, son, and I'm here to keep it 100.
06:52All right, despite the fact that your mother thinks I'm uptight.
06:55Cray-cray, right?
06:57I'm comfortable.
07:00I'm going to show you how comfortable I am.
07:02Mm-hmm.
07:07What's that?
07:08Just a comfortable man with no shirt on talking to his son about nasty stuff.
07:12Ha, ha, ha.
07:14Whoa.
07:15I'm really feeling the A.C. in here.
07:17Am I standing under a vent?
07:24Trying to do telekinesis again?
07:26You don't have it.
07:27I left my karaoke mic in there, but I heard that's giving Junior the talk.
07:32What talk?
07:33I don't know.
07:34So, let's talk next level.
07:37So, what's it like having sex?
07:41Whoa.
07:42Just going to jump right in there like that, huh, son?
07:45Okay.
07:46I guess we're really doing this, huh?
07:48Let me figure this out.
07:51Oh, where do we start?
07:56Body spray.
07:57Bad name.
07:58All right, son.
07:59If you want to attract a woman, you never spray this on your body, all right?
08:04You just spray it in the air like that, and you walk through it.
08:07Woo!
08:08That's cold.
08:09Kind of tingles when you're topless.
08:11You getting all this, son?
08:12You need a notebook or something?
08:13I want the talk.
08:15Me too.
08:16I need the talk.
08:18I think he's getting it because he's always in his room with the door closed.
08:22Oh, really?
08:23Well, three can play at that game.
08:35Now what?
08:36Now we wait.
08:38Yeah, but your date could keep kosher, so don't lean too heavy on the oyster card, all right?
08:45Hey, don't worry.
08:46It all gets easier when you can drink.
08:49You don't have to raise your hand, son.
08:51Dad, I appreciate all this advanced dating advice, but there's other stuff.
08:55Mm, okay.
08:56I heard some kids talking about oral.
09:01Oh.
09:02Okay.
09:03Um, I would stay away from that.
09:07You know, kid like you with wheat allergies.
09:12All right.
09:13Um, so show me which one of your crew has the most busted face, okay?
09:18Because that's going to be your wingman.
09:20By yourself, you're beautiful.
09:22But next to him, you'll be Denzel Clooney, Kojo Chestnut.
09:29One, two, three.
09:31Okay.
09:31I just need to do three.
09:33Finally, son, when it comes to movie dates, never pick a movie that'll make you cry.
09:37That means no urban coming-of-age stories.
09:40The brother always gets shot at the end.
09:42Good talk, son.
09:47Nailed it!
09:51So after a day of dishing out sweet knowledge to my boy, I rewarded myself with a cinnamon
09:56stick while letting Bo chew on her defeat.
09:58The boy drank deep from the dray well today, baby.
10:01I will accept my apology in words or...
10:05Apology for what?
10:06Because somebody said that I couldn't do it.
10:08That it wasn't in me.
10:10But it is.
10:11Now, who do I email to give a Ted sex talk?
10:14So what'd you talk about?
10:15The fundamentals.
10:16Like what?
10:18Signature fragrance, boom.
10:19Fly outfits, boom.
10:21And how to navigate urban terrain, double boom.
10:25Great.
10:26So you taught our kid how to be a pimp?
10:28Baby, I think you're confusing pimp with player.
10:30You know, that's a common two-parent home mistake.
10:32So basically, Junior had a heart-to-heart with iced tea.
10:38Baby, I had the sex talk with our son, shirt off.
10:44Why was your shirt off?
10:46Because I'm free.
10:47You're not free?
10:48Oh, you're laughing.
10:49I'm laughing.
10:50Well, if you want a good night kiss, you know where to find me and my cinnamon and ellipse.
10:59You're really not going to come over here and get a night?
11:02Babe, they're like two baked apples just lying on my face.
11:06We've been in here for a whole day and no one's giving us the talk.
11:12That's it.
11:13Time to make something happen.
11:15Plus, I really got a pain.
11:21Hey!
11:22Hey!
11:23Hey, so I was thinking really hard about everything that you told me yesterday about...
11:32What are you talking about?
11:35It's just that, you know, with all the craziness about...
11:50Mom, it's super rude to talk with food in your mouth.
11:53Of course, yes.
11:54I mean, you know?
11:57Oh, more drama from you-know-who.
11:59Oh, I know who.
12:01You won't have to tell me about them.
12:07Mom, we're wondering if we could talk.
12:10You know, talk, because...
12:12Not now.
12:13I'm trying to be a good mom who listens better.
12:17Maybe we should do something to get the talk.
12:19Something good or something bad.
12:21You take good, I'll take bad.
12:23I want bad.
12:24We'll flip for it.
12:26Heads I win, tails you lose.
12:28Deal.
12:29Come on, heads.
12:30No, wait.
12:32Tails.
12:33No, wait.
12:35Tails?
12:38There's a supreme satisfaction a man attains when he's opened the door of knowledge to his son.
12:43Hey, Dad, can we have another talk?
12:45What?
12:46But I may have accidentally opened a revolving door.
12:48Hey, what are you doing?
12:51Our sex talk ritual.
12:52We had the sex talk yesterday, man.
12:55Remember?
12:55I nailed it.
12:56Yeah, but I just have some follow-up questions.
12:58I heard these seniors talking about a position called the Triceratops.
13:02What is that exactly?
13:04To be honest, son, I can't keep up with all that new stuff, especially being married.
13:08Let's Google it.
13:10T-R-I-S.
13:13It's with a C.
13:13Don't care, autocorrect.
13:15Spelling is for suckers.
13:18Oh!
13:19Oh!
13:20Delete!
13:21Delete search history!
13:22Oh, my God!
13:23What was it?
13:24Can we talk about it?
13:25I have other questions, too.
13:27Aren't you going to take your shirt off?
13:28I'm a little too bloated to go shirtless right now.
13:31I could go talk to Mom.
13:32Hey, hey, hey.
13:33Whoa.
13:34Oh, no.
13:35Remember, I'm your guy.
13:38All right, look.
13:39I'll meet you upstairs in an hour.
13:41All right.
13:42Just knock first.
13:43Oh.
13:44Oh, trust me.
13:44I will.
13:45I hate to say I told you so.
13:47No, you don't.
13:48You would marry I told you so and have a baby with it and buy a joint in burial plots.
13:53Just saying.
13:53You opened Pandora's box and a triceratops jumped out.
14:01So she said those exact words?
14:04Oh, I just want to scream.
14:06Oh, I feel you, sweetheart.
14:10I mean, the whole thing just drives me nuts.
14:13Oh, you know what?
14:17Sometimes it helps if you play the whole thing out from the other person's perspective.
14:22You know, it'll help give you clarity so you can resolve it.
14:24So I, like, just think it all through from the other side?
14:27Yes.
14:28But you want to, um, you want to say it out loud so you hear the emotional nuances.
14:33You know?
14:34That's the important part.
14:35Out loud.
14:37Okay.
14:38So here it goes.
14:39So last week, there's this girl named Zoe who has everything.
14:42I can't believe she fell for it.
14:44Even when I'm a bad mom, I'm a great mom.
14:48It's amazing how I can get anything out of anyone.
14:50The CIA should be all moms.
14:52Moms like me.
14:54Basically, just me.
14:57There it is.
14:58I never told anybody that last part.
15:02Thoughts?
15:07Which is why they call it a devil's threesome.
15:10Unless you're in Prague, where it's just called sex.
15:13Ah, well, that is absolutely, positively everything, son.
15:19See?
15:20This is good multitasking.
15:22Because two shirtless dudes just standing around talking about sex starts to look weird
15:27after a while.
15:27Oh, wait, Dad.
15:28Just one more thing.
15:29Please, poor Bill.
15:30Oh, just slip and fall on my throat.
15:35I'm just wondering, why should I start manscaping?
15:38It's patchy, but I feel like things are going to get crazy down there.
15:42Sometimes I look around the locker room to gauge where I am on the spectrum.
15:46I think Hunter Kang Nussbaum caught me peeking.
15:48Then the lunch lady popped into my head.
15:50I'm not even attracted to her, but now I have to void her line.
15:53She serves the tater tots, so that kills me.
15:57I love tater tots, but...
15:58This is hell.
15:59I hate to admit it, but Pops may have been right.
16:01I've created a sex-talking monster.
16:04But the other day, I actually cried afterwards.
16:08Not from sadness, just from a lot of emotions, you know?
16:12He's not even asking questions anymore.
16:14Just brutal, unfiltered, non-stop oversharing.
16:17You know who really gets me there?
16:20Helen Mirren.
16:21Is that weird?
16:22You know what?
16:23I don't even care.
16:30After four days of hearing Junior's innermost sexual thoughts,
16:34you can color me done.
16:35But I can't hurt his feelings by telling him that.
16:38Hey, Dad!
16:40So, I'll just do everything in my power to avoid him at all costs.
16:45Anyhow, don't be coy, avoid a may-
16:48Oh, my God.
16:50Dad?
16:51Dad!
16:51Hey, do you think we could talk about...
16:54Let's talk about you, baby.
16:56Let's talk about all of the things I'm about in the back of me.
17:00Let's talk about sex.
17:02Let's talk about sex.
17:07Drew, what are you doing?
17:11Watching the movie on my phone because I'm hiding from my son.
17:14What else would I be doing in the laundry room?
17:16How long have you been in here?
17:17How long's The Godfather?
17:19You know what?
17:19I can't judge you.
17:20My mom game hit an all-time low with Zoe.
17:23Could have been her bestie.
17:25Completely blew it.
17:26Twice.
17:27Parenting's hard.
17:29Yeah.
17:29Hey.
17:31Let's stay in here for the rest of the week.
17:33You know what we could do while we're in here?
17:35What?
17:36Fold some clothes.
17:38I'm gonna go talk to Junior.
17:42Zoe!
17:45Hi.
17:48Listen.
17:49Truth be told.
17:50Because I was so excited about you telling me what was going on in your life,
17:53I have no idea what's going on in your life.
17:56Yeah, I kind of picked up on that when you left me hanging for a week.
17:59So I talked to Pops.
18:02You talked to Pops?
18:04Yeah, he gave me some awesome advice.
18:07You should cherish him more.
18:09Uh-huh.
18:10Thank you, Zozo.
18:11Good night.
18:12Yeah.
18:12Okay.
18:16You have got to tell me what she said.
18:19I have absolutely no idea.
18:21I mean, I listened to her, gave her some generic advice in a deep, soothing voice.
18:26I'm Morgan Freeman.
18:34Hey.
18:35Oh, Dad, I'm glad you're here.
18:37Nope.
18:37I've got some.
18:37Nope.
18:38I'm done.
18:40Done.
18:40Look, the last few days have been the most important.
18:43It's the most open and honest we've ever had.
18:45And I hated it.
18:47Hey, not you.
18:49I love you.
18:50Love you, son.
18:52That's why I wanted to be a part of this.
18:54I wanted to be in the loop.
18:56But only for the big stuff.
18:58I don't need the play-by-play.
18:59Oh, you mean like how I enjoy.
19:02Exactly.
19:02Mm.
19:03Keep going to your mother with the day-to-day, all right?
19:05She lives for this stuff.
19:08But the big stuff?
19:10I'm your guy.
19:11I will always take my shirt off for you.
19:13Um, Dad, I talk to my friends about that, and that's not a thing.
19:19Son, it's our thing.
19:23No, seriously, Dad.
19:24It's weird.
19:30It's weird.
19:32Wow.
19:34You're getting into quiet.
19:36I've been watching you, son.
19:38Watching you try and connect up with Junior the last couple of days.
19:42I have to say, it's embarrassing.
19:45Listen, I hear you, Pops.
19:47What you're saying is you regret never having the talk with me, which meant I didn't have
19:51the tools to have the talk with Junior.
19:53That's not even close to what I'm saying.
19:55I get it.
19:56You were busy working hard, providing for us, and communicating openly with your kids
20:01wasn't a priority for your generation.
20:04Could have made it a priority.
20:05Chose not to.
20:07But you're proud of me for trying.
20:15Every day.
20:17Wow.
20:18That was a lot better than when he gave me a box of condoms.
20:22So, Junior and Pops.
20:24Two moments of real personal broke.
20:27Now, I know it might have been greedy, but I was going to go for a third.
20:32Dre, this has gone too far.
20:34You haven't worn clothes for two days.
20:36Clothes are for suckers.
20:38I'm going to go outside and get the paper.
20:42While you're out there, you might as well get the mail, too.
20:50Do you realize we got less attention in the last week by trying to get attention?
20:55I can't even get Mom to comb my hair.
20:57Well, if they're not going to give us the talk, let's give it to each other.
21:01We don't even know what the talk is about.
21:03All I know is that you lower your voice and sound serious.
21:06I can do that.
21:07Okay, let's do it.
21:09Diane, I'd like to talk to you about the difference between jam and jelly.
21:14Now, I think...
21:15Let me stop you right there.
21:17You're boring me.
21:18You're boring me.
21:19I'm boring me.
21:21You're boring me.
21:23I'm boring me.
21:24I'm boring me.
21:25I'm boring me.
21:25I'm boring me.
21:25I'm boring me.
21:26I'm boring me.
21:26I'm boring me.
21:26I'm boring me.
21:26I'm boring me.
Comments