B.M. 8. Nosedive.

deaddogsdam

First broadcast 21st October 2016.  A woman desperate to boost her social media score hits the jackpot when she's invited to a swanky wedding, but the trip doesn't go as planned.  Bryce Dallas Howard - Lacie Pound Alice Eve - Naomi Jayne Blestow Cherry Jones - Susan James Norton - Ryan Pound Alan Ritchson - Paul Daisy Haggard - Bets Susannah Fielding - Carol Michaela Coel - Airport Stewardess Demetri Goritsas - Hansen Kadiff Kirwan - Chester Sope Dirisu - Man in Jail Clayton Evertson - Ted Andrew Roux - Electro Station Assistant Anjana Vasan - Space Cop Colin Moss - Anthony Nambitha Ben-Mazwi - Glam Woman (as Nambitha Ben-Wazi) Jeffrey Davenport - Cab Driver Ntokozo Majozi - Jack the Barrista Justin Munitz - Keith Zandile Madliwa - Alien Girl Kevin Otto - Pastor Shane Zaza - Chuck Abubakar Salim - Airport Guard Nathan Ohene Djan - Holographic Boyfriend Jennie Nielson - Woman in Car Deon Lotz - Man in Car Daniel Barney Newton - Kid on the Quad Bike (as Daniel Newton) Rebecca Newton - Kid's Younger Sister Lewelyn Van Den Berg - Male Jogger Blessing Mamuesa - Glam Woman's Son Nicole Bessick - Wedding Guest Jason Maydew - Wealthy Guest De-Wet Nagel - Reputelligent Agent

Transcript

00:00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —

00:00:58Transcribed by ESO, translated by —

00:01:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —

00:01:52Transcribed by ESO, translated by —

00:01:53Transcribed by ESO, translated by —

00:01:55I was holding the ball!

00:01:59Sorry, guys.

00:02:00Landlord's sending buyers over today, so put your pants on.

00:02:05Maybe if I don't, it'll scare him off and we can stay here.

00:02:09Not an option, Ryan.

00:02:11Lisa's up in four weeks.

00:02:13Hey, I'm thinking of you.

00:02:14I got somewhere to go.

00:02:16Nate's roommate took a job in Phoenix,

00:02:19so I get his place.

00:02:21Okay.

00:02:22Now is the slow poke.

00:02:24I'm seeing some places over lunch.

00:02:27Catch you later.

00:02:34Sorry, that was my sister.

00:02:37Yeah, yeah, yeah, I bet you'd love to.

00:02:46Jasmine tea.

00:02:58And that's one brush sweep.

00:03:01You want a cookie with that?

00:03:03It's on the house.

00:03:05Sounds awesome.

00:03:13See you tomorrow, JJ.

00:03:15See you, Lacey.

00:03:17Oh, I saw your boy in the fire hat just now.

00:03:19So cute.

00:03:21Yeah, he's really something.

00:03:23See you.

00:03:30See you tomorrow, disabled man.

00:03:34Yeah?

00:03:34Let's go.

00:04:15Oh, my God.

00:04:48Hey, Lacey!

00:04:50Bats, it's great to see you!

00:04:52You too.

00:05:05How's Pancakes?

00:05:06He's hilarious.

00:05:07Such a funny cat.

00:05:09Just the best.

00:05:14You're still at Hattaker?

00:05:16Mm-hmm.

00:05:16Yeah.

00:05:17It's going pretty great.

00:05:18Good to hear.

00:05:20So what brings you back here?

00:05:21Good job, first day.

00:05:22First day?

00:05:23At Blankman Harper.

00:05:24Whoa!

00:05:25Top floor, that's...

00:05:27Well, good luck.

00:05:28I know, right?

00:05:32It's great you're still happy at Hattaker.

00:05:35Well, maybe not forever.

00:05:37No, not forever.

00:05:38But for now.

00:05:39It's okay for now.

00:05:39It's great for now.

00:05:41Yes.

00:05:41Yes, it is.

00:05:45Hold on just one second.

00:05:47Bye.

00:05:53Bye.

00:05:54Bye.

00:05:55Bye.

00:06:00Bye.

00:06:02Bye.

00:06:03Bye.

00:06:04Bye.

00:06:07Bye.

00:06:09Bye.

00:06:16Bye.

00:06:18Bye.

00:06:20Bye.

00:06:22Bye.

00:06:23Bye.

00:06:24Bye.

00:06:25Bye.

00:06:26Bye.

00:06:27Bye.

00:06:29Bye.

00:06:30Bye.

00:06:40Lacey, got you a smoothie.

00:06:43Got one for everyone, actually.

00:06:45Still a bunch of them for grabs.

00:06:48They're from the organic stall at the farmer's market?

00:06:51Sure. Okay.

00:06:58Mmm!

00:06:59Mmm!

00:07:13We're kind of not talking to Jess.

00:07:173.1?

00:07:18What happened?

00:07:20Him and Gordon split up.

00:07:21Oh, poor Jess.

00:07:23No, no, no, no, no. We're all on Gordon's side.

00:07:26Sure.

00:07:27I don't know, obviously.

00:07:28So Jess is kissing ass, trying to scrape himself back.

00:07:31Of course, if he drops below 2.05, then it's...

00:07:35Buh-bye.

00:07:39Ha!

00:07:43Ha!

00:07:49Oh.

00:08:07Hello?

00:08:08Yo, they're taking it.

00:08:10Who?

00:08:11The couple the landlord sent over.

00:08:13I heard them talking.

00:08:14Okay.

00:08:18So, now we move into the life space area.

00:08:23Ideal for special times with loved ones,

00:08:27great food, great company.

00:08:34Wow.

00:08:36Sampled your photo stream to make her.

00:08:39Great hair.

00:08:41Styled free of charge at the member's salon.

00:08:44Oh, my God.

00:08:48It's hilarious.

00:08:50You like him.

00:08:53He's okay?

00:08:54He doesn't come with the apartment.

00:08:59But there is a bar and restaurant on site, tenants only.

00:09:03We have unparalleled metrics on romantic genesis.

00:09:08Uh-huh.

00:09:10I've got to say, these places are going like that, so don't delay if you're interested.

00:09:15Oh, I'm more than interested.

00:09:17Standard occupancy on a minimum six-month contract.

00:09:20We're talking.

00:09:22This much.

00:09:25How often are the payments?

00:09:27That's weekly.

00:09:29Okay.

00:09:30A little more than expected.

00:09:32There's options.

00:09:34You know our Prime Influencers program?

00:09:37Do I qualify for that?

00:09:38No.

00:09:39No, you don't.

00:09:40We'd need you around a 4.5.

00:09:454.5.

00:09:47Hit 4.5, and there's a 20% discount.

00:09:544.5.

00:09:55That's right.

00:10:34Uh-huh.

00:10:38No.

00:10:40No.

00:10:44Oh.

00:10:45No.

00:10:46No.

00:10:52Not a 6 at the point.

00:10:55program? A lifestyle community. No one is this happy. A two-year-old with a fucking balloon isn't

00:11:03this happy. It's actually a pretty cool place. Like you'd even qualify.

00:11:18Well, it's not hopeless. You're clearly a tryer. That's the sense you get just from me.

00:11:25From your rep report analytics. If we drill down into the numbers, you have got a solid

00:11:29popularity arc here. Strong overall trajectory. Let's just look at the last 24 hours. You see,

00:11:36even, what's that? 8.40 a.m. You're working hard on your socials. Great little uptake there.

00:11:42A couple of minor dings there. You cut someone off in traffic.

00:11:46Oh, just a workplace thing. Okay. Let's check on your sphere of influence. Let me zoom out here.

00:11:55Great peripherals. Strangers like you. That's a plus. Healthy inner circle. That's good.

00:12:01Thank you. There's a ways to go, but 4.5. Certainly achievable.

00:12:07How long do you think? To hit 4.5. Well, barring a major setback,

00:12:12a public disgrace kind of deal, I'd say 18 months or so.

00:12:17Oh, I need more short-term. Like, much more.

00:12:22Then you'll need a boost.

00:12:24What kind of a boost?

00:12:25Well, most of your interactions are confined to your inner circle, and they're largely,

00:12:32pardon the term, mid- to low-range folks. Same with your outer circle. You've got a ton of

00:12:37reciprocal five-stars from service industry workers, but there's not much else, at least as far

00:12:42as I can see. So in terms of quality, you could use a punch-up right there. Ideally, that's upvotes

00:12:48from quality people. Quality people?

00:12:52Hi, Forrest. Impress those upscale folks. You'll gain velocity on your arc, and there's your boost.

00:13:13Oh, hi, JJ. Hey, Lacey.

00:13:17Hey. Lacey.

00:13:19You look great today. Thank you.

00:13:22Door won't open. I'm on 2-4.

00:13:25Sorry, Chess. I'm late.

00:13:26I just need some stars. Please.

00:13:34Oh, hi.

00:13:41Hi.

00:13:43How's it going at Blankman?

00:13:44Just great.

00:13:46Well, I bet you work good there.

00:13:56Would you like a croissant that gave me an extra at the coffee place?

00:14:00Oh, no. I already...

00:14:01Okay, sure. All good. That's...

00:14:03Yep.

00:14:06Well, here's me, so...

00:14:18Don't try too hard. It's impossible to respect.

00:14:21High Forrest can smell it a mile off. It'd just be you.

00:14:26Authentic gestures. That's the key.

00:14:29That's time up. I'll catch you later.

00:14:30Oh, could I just ask...

00:14:46Oh!

00:15:15Oh

00:15:28Oh.

00:15:33Oh.

00:15:35Oh.

00:15:36Mr. Rats.

00:15:41Oh.

00:16:16Oh.

00:16:18Shit.

00:16:29The fuck is that?

00:16:31Tapenade?

00:16:32Want some?

00:16:33Who even are you?

00:16:35It's just something I want to eat, Ryan.

00:16:41Oh, my God.

00:16:44What is it?

00:16:45Naomi.

00:16:47Shit.

00:16:49Old school, el perfecto, Naomi?

00:16:52You guys keep in contact.

00:16:54Ryan, just go!

00:16:55Go!

00:16:58Oh, my God.

00:17:04Nene, how are you?

00:17:06I was just fixing myself a snack.

00:17:09Oh, Lays, could I just say I am so happy to see your face?

00:17:14Me too.

00:17:15It's been...

00:17:16Too long.

00:17:17Way too long?

00:17:18And that's my fault.

00:17:19No, it's mine.

00:17:19Everything's just so...

00:17:20Everything's just so...

00:17:22Crazy.

00:17:23Oh, it's so good to see you.

00:17:25When you posted that Mr. Rags photo.

00:17:28I know.

00:17:29Mr. Rags.

00:17:30I just had to call and talk to you because...

00:17:36Ka-boo!

00:17:39Wow, that's a big ring.

00:17:43Congratulations.

00:17:44Who's that, um...

00:17:46Paul?

00:17:47He is great.

00:17:49So smart.

00:17:50Just sweet.

00:17:51I know you're gonna love him.

00:17:53Mm-hmm.

00:17:54So, anyways, the big day.

00:17:55Yes, when is it?

00:17:57So, we're getting married in a month on his family's estate up here on the island.

00:18:00This place outside Port Mary.

00:18:02Honeysuckle.

00:18:03You heard of it?

00:18:04No, but...

00:18:04Well, it's a private island.

00:18:06Take a look!

00:18:10Oh, wow, that is!

00:18:13I know, right?

00:18:15So...

00:18:16Can you make it?

00:18:17Are you kidding?

00:18:19Of course!

00:18:21Good, cool, because I was wondering if...

00:18:24Lace, do you think...

00:18:27Would you be my maid of honor?

00:18:30Seriously?

00:18:32Oh, my God.

00:18:36I mean...

00:18:37You've got such cool friends now, are you sure?

00:18:40Remember when we used to plan our dream wedding when we were, like, eleven?

00:18:45I know, but we haven't...

00:18:47I don't know, just seeing Mr. Rags, all the memories...

00:18:52It just brought things home.

00:18:54Oh, maybe.

00:18:55I know we haven't kept in touch as much as I'd have liked, and that is totally my fault,

00:18:59but this is a big day.

00:19:00A big life day.

00:19:03And...

00:19:03I want my oldest friend with me.

00:19:05My oldest friend.

00:19:06I want you by my side.

00:19:09Oh, my God.

00:19:14What do I have to...

00:19:16Not much to it.

00:19:16A speech, mainly.

00:19:18A speech?

00:19:19Of course.

00:19:20Mm-hmm.

00:19:21How big's the crowd?

00:19:23Oh, my gosh.

00:19:23Like hundreds.

00:19:25It's a crazy guest list.

00:19:27I'll send in now.

00:19:29Paul's invited so many, I don't want to call them big deals, but they're all like 4.7 or above.

00:19:36Huh?

00:19:38Nay-Nay, I will not let you down.

00:19:43Don't sweat too much.

00:19:44Just talk about old memories.

00:19:47Sure.

00:19:47How we were.

00:19:48Any old thing.

00:19:49Gotcha.

00:19:50I'll pay you some anecdotes.

00:19:51That would be great.

00:19:52And what's your dress size?

00:19:54Oh, um...

00:19:55I'll tell you what.

00:19:55I'll just send you a 4.

00:19:57Perfect.

00:19:58We got matching bridesmaids dresses.

00:19:59Well, anyway...

00:20:01.

00:20:06Love you, Lay.

00:20:07You too, Nay-Nay.

00:20:12Bye.

00:20:19What was that?

00:20:20The L word?

00:20:23You two pussy pals now?

00:20:26Shut up.

00:20:27She was always mean to you.

00:20:29No, she wasn't.

00:20:31She had that rhyme about...

00:20:33That was a game.

00:20:34What about when she cut your hair?

00:20:36I asked her to.

00:20:38She fucked Greg.

00:20:40She did not fuck Greg.

00:20:49She looked hot. I'll give her that.

00:20:58Okay.

00:21:02Impressive.

00:21:06Uh-huh, Jesus.

00:21:08Yeah, that'd do it.

00:21:10Mm-hmm.

00:21:12Pelican Cove?

00:21:13Kara, it's Lacey.

00:21:15Saw the place yesterday.

00:21:16I want to take it.

00:21:17That's fantastic.

00:21:20Uh, oh, I see you're still on a fort, too.

00:21:22Is that, uh...

00:21:23Yep, I'm on it.

00:21:24Just gonna transfer the deposit now.

00:21:27Well, okay.

00:21:30In this world,

00:21:31we're all so caught up in our own heads.

00:21:36It's easy to lose sight of what's real,

00:21:40what matters.

00:21:44But as I stand here today,

00:21:47seeing the joy

00:21:50Paul has brought to Naomi's life,

00:21:54I know she's someone who truly matters to me.

00:22:01Nae-Nae,

00:22:03the little girl who,

00:22:05when we were just five years old in art camp,

00:22:09started talking to me

00:22:12because she saw I was scared.

00:22:16the girl who helped me make Mr. Rags.

00:22:19I still have him.

00:22:23He sits on my desk,

00:22:25and every day,

00:22:28he reminds me of Nae-Nae.

00:22:32What she meant to me then,

00:22:34and now.

00:22:37I am so honored to be here.

00:22:42And I wish you all the happiness

00:22:46this stupid world can muster.

00:22:50I love you.

00:22:54Is the tear too much?

00:22:58You fucking sociopath.

00:23:00Ryan, my car's here.

00:23:02Was it too much?

00:23:03What, the tear?

00:23:04The photo?

00:23:05Mr. Rags?

00:23:06I do keep him on my desk.

00:23:07There's sugary,

00:23:08and then there's fucking diabetes.

00:23:10I just want to make her happy

00:23:12on her wedding day.

00:23:13The captive audience

00:23:14of Four Point Holy is five-starring your ass off?

00:23:17That's just a bonus.

00:23:18Naomi and I were best friends.

00:23:21I wish her well

00:23:22and want to express that best I can,

00:23:24and yeah,

00:23:24if I nail a speech and get five-starred

00:23:26by hundreds of primes,

00:23:27so what?

00:23:28It's a win-win.

00:23:29What are you hoping for?

00:23:30Like, 4-3, 4-4?

00:23:33Uh-uh.

00:23:34You get points from your gaming buddies.

00:23:36It's the same thing.

00:23:37Don't take shit on me for aiming higher.

00:23:38Pelican Cove higher?

00:23:40What's wrong with Pelican Cove?

00:23:42They're great apartments.

00:23:43They are fake smile jail cells.

00:23:46Great.

00:23:47Car canceled.

00:23:48And he marked me down,

00:23:49so now I have to book another,

00:23:50and I took a ding.

00:23:52Great job.

00:23:52I am sorry,

00:23:53but I miss the normal you.

00:23:55Before this obsession,

00:23:57well, we had conversations, remember?

00:24:00I mean, my charger.

00:24:00This whole ranking thing,

00:24:03just comparing yourself to people who...

00:24:05Have you seen my charger?

00:24:06We pretend to be happy.

00:24:08Fred, don't borrow this.

00:24:12High fours like Naomi.

00:24:13I bet they're suicidal on the inside.

00:24:15My car is here again.

00:24:17Your Pelican Cove deposit,

00:24:18is not refundable?

00:24:19Like, what if this doesn't work?

00:24:21Can't you just stay out of my shit?

00:24:23You're my sister!

00:24:24Yes!

00:24:24And if you cared about that,

00:24:26maybe you would have noticed living with you

00:24:27hasn't been one big rainbow sandwich for me.

00:24:31Do you know why I never brought any guys back here?

00:24:34Because I didn't want them to know

00:24:36I was sharing a skanky ass cape

00:24:38with Mr. Three Point.

00:24:40Fuck.

00:24:42Good luck with your performance!

00:25:16Oh!

00:25:17Hi!

00:25:18Hi!

00:25:18I'm coming!

00:25:21Oh, Jesus Christ!

00:25:23Oh, I'm so sorry!

00:25:24Stop!

00:25:24That's great.

00:25:25That's great.

00:25:30That's great.

00:25:31Oh.

00:25:32Oh.

00:25:33Hi.

00:25:45Hi!

00:25:47Hey, Lace.

00:25:49Just checking in.

00:25:50I'm on my way to the airport right now!

00:25:52Okay, cool.

00:25:53And you're all good for the rehearsal dinner?

00:25:55Oh, yeah.

00:25:56Flight's what?

00:25:56An hour?

00:25:57Bad restaurant?

00:25:58Looks so cool!

00:26:00Uh-huh.

00:26:00And you got the dress okay?

00:26:02Mm-hmm.

00:26:03In my case.

00:26:04I love the page.

00:26:05So, the latest draft of the speech is great.

00:26:09Going handwritten, so cool.

00:26:11Those scans of the page, my God.

00:26:13I welled up just at that.

00:26:15Oh, thank you.

00:26:16Um, just one thought.

00:26:19That whole bit where I help you with the eating disorder thing?

00:26:22You think that's a little...

00:26:23A little oversharing, yeah.

00:26:24You're so right.

00:26:25It's gone.

00:26:26Okay, cool.

00:26:27Well, I'll see you in a few hours.

00:26:29I'm getting married tomorrow!

00:26:31Yaaaaaaa!

00:26:43And here's your tip!

00:26:47Thank you!

00:26:51Oh, come on.

00:27:03Hi there. How are you doing?

00:27:06I am wonderful.

00:27:10I am so sorry. That flight is canceled.

00:27:13No. No, no.

00:27:15Customer incident at the other end.

00:27:17Oh, come on.

00:27:18What? So when is the next flight?

00:27:21Yeah, they're all kind of full.

00:27:24Uh, I booked this weeks ago.

00:27:26It's my best friend's wedding.

00:27:28I'm sorry.

00:27:28I have to get there. I have to.

00:27:30Okay, I mean, let's see what we can do.

00:27:32Ah, thank you.

00:27:33I see there's one standby seat on another plane leaving tonight.

00:27:44Ah, okay.

00:27:44Uh, that's reserved for members of our prime flight program.

00:27:48You gotta be a 4.2 or over to qualify.

00:27:51Oh, I'm a 4.2.

00:27:52Mm-mm.

00:27:53I'm afraid you're actually a 4.183.

00:27:59Oh.

00:28:01Well, that's not my fault.

00:28:02Um, some woman dinged me down in the cadre.

00:28:04Can't you just...

00:28:05I'm sorry, it won't let me book it without the correct ranking.

00:28:07But it's so close.

00:28:08There's just nothing I can do.

00:28:10Christ, I mean, surely...

00:28:11I'm gonna have to ask you to moderate your language there.

00:28:13Sorry, it's just...

00:28:17I'm maid of honor.

00:28:19I cannot miss this wedding.

00:28:21And I am so sorry about that.

00:28:27Can you call the supervisor?

00:28:28I cannot do that.

00:28:29Can you just call the supervisor?

00:28:30I cannot do that.

00:28:30Call the fucking supervisor.

00:28:31Okay, that's profanity.

00:28:32We're zero tolerance on profanity.

00:28:34I'm sorry, it's just...

00:28:35Yeah, I have to serve the next customer.

00:28:36No, no, no, no, no.

00:28:37No, no, no.

00:28:37Step away, ma'am.

00:28:39You've got to fucking help me!

00:28:44I'm so sorry.

00:28:46I've called security.

00:28:47Oh, oh, no, no, no, no.

00:28:49Please don't do that.

00:28:50Um, I'm...

00:28:51I'm a five-starring you.

00:28:52Five stars?

00:28:53What's the issue here, Hannah?

00:28:55Intimidation and profanity.

00:28:56Oh, no, no, no.

00:28:56I was not intimidating.

00:28:57Don't speak, ma'am.

00:28:58I was just trying to...

00:28:59Ma'am?

00:29:01Okay.

00:29:02So, in order to restore calm, I'm invoking my authority as airport security to dock you

00:29:07one full ranking point as a punitive measure.

00:29:09This is a temporary measure.

00:29:11No!

00:29:12The score reverts to normal in 24 hours.

00:29:14No, no, no, no, but I need it now!

00:29:15During this probationary period, all down votes are subject to a times two multiplier.

00:29:18Times two?

00:29:19We recommend you avoid negative feedback at this time.

00:29:21I'm on double damage?

00:29:22Please.

00:29:23Remove yourself from the airport immediately.

00:29:49Okay, well, due to your ranking...

00:29:51...come through like one fine double-dotties.

00:29:54...like this.

00:29:55...and we'll be ready.

00:29:56Thanks, all.

00:29:57Hey.

00:30:00Hey.

00:30:00Thanks so much, sir.

00:30:01I have a bottle of liquor right now.

00:30:03Yeah, I'm trying to find something like this.

00:30:08You should come.

00:30:09Safe.

00:30:11Yeah.

00:30:12Hey, there!

00:30:14Chuck!

00:30:14Great name.

00:30:16Hope you're having a great night.

00:30:18It's pretty good.

00:30:19So, I need a car?

00:30:21You got a vehicle in mind?

00:30:23Anything.

00:30:24Really.

00:30:24Well, due to your current ranking, you're restricted to our Super Saver fleet.

00:30:30Yep.

00:30:30That's...yeah.

00:30:32iCruiser 2?

00:30:33They still have the two?

00:30:53What?

00:31:00Oh, God.

00:31:13Oh, come on.

00:31:21Oh, God damn it.

00:31:51The little girl who, when we were both five years old in our camp, started talking to me because she

00:31:58saw I was scared.

00:32:01The girl who helped me make Mr. Rags.

00:32:08Teardrop. Crowd goes wild. You can do this.

00:32:18Sorry. Okay, I swear. I'm on my way.

00:32:22How far away are you?

00:32:23Uh, right away? I missed my flight.

00:32:27What?

00:32:28I will not miss it, but...

00:32:30But, so you're not gonna make the rehearsal dinner?

00:32:33No.

00:32:33Lacey?

00:32:34I'm so sorry. It's been...

00:32:36Ugh.

00:32:37I got a rental car. I'm driving.

00:32:41Driving?!

00:32:42That's like nine hours.

00:32:44I'm making good time. Gonna...

00:32:46Go through the night. Make a road trip out of it.

00:32:49Is everything okay?

00:32:51I can find a replacement if something's wrong.

00:32:53No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll be there. I swear on Mr. Rags.

00:32:57Okay, just drive safe.

00:33:00You bet. I'll just...

00:33:10Come on.

00:33:14Come on.

00:33:15Please.

00:33:23Okay.

00:33:50What?

00:33:52What are you doing?

00:33:52I'm not...

00:33:53I'm not.

00:33:57I'm not...

00:33:59Shit.

00:34:01Oh shit.

00:34:02I'm not...

00:34:35Hi. Sorry.

00:34:42Your charger doesn't fit my car?

00:34:46Don't see those around much these days.

00:34:48It's rental.

00:34:51Your charger's a Q2Z. Yours one's a K1.

00:34:54They didn't give you an adapter?

00:34:57No. Do you have one?

00:35:01Not in here. Ask around.

00:35:04Thanks anyway. You're super helpful.

00:35:20Two stars?

00:35:22Two stars?

00:35:24Wasn't a meaningful encounter.

00:35:30Sir? Excuse me. Excuse me.

00:35:32Sorry. Um, do you want to take a doctor by accident?

00:35:37Um, ma'am? How about you?

00:35:39What do you want to take a doctor?

00:35:41Have you see the charger of your car?

00:35:44Sure.

00:35:47And...

00:35:47Oh, ma'am. Hi.

00:35:50Can I be a doctor?

00:35:53I'm a friend too.

00:35:56Oh!

00:36:01Oh!

00:36:02Ah!

00:36:03Ah!

00:36:04Ah!

00:36:41Slow down.

00:36:42Let's give her a ride.

00:36:43She's like two ways.

00:36:47Come on!

00:36:55I didn't even do anything!

00:37:17You look like you need a ride.

00:37:22Um...

00:37:23Ashley, I'm okay.

00:37:28Don't look it.

00:37:30Come on!

00:37:32I don't fight.

00:37:36Blue Thermos' coffee, Red's whiskey.

00:37:39Help yourself.

00:37:40I'm okay. Thanks.

00:37:43Where are you headed?

00:37:45Uh, just as close as you can get to Port Mary would be great.

00:37:58Checking my feet for danger, sons?

00:38:03I get it a lot.

00:38:051.4 gotta be an antisocial maniac, right?

00:38:09You seem...

00:38:10Normal?

00:38:11Yeah.

00:38:15It took some effort.

00:38:18What happened to you?

00:38:20I mean, you're a 2.8, but you don't look 2.8.

00:38:25That's not...

00:38:26This is temporary.

00:38:26I'm gonna turn it around.

00:38:28I'm going to a wedding.

00:38:30Made of honor.

00:38:32Nice.

00:38:32Want to hear my speech?

00:38:34No.

00:38:39So how come you're 2.8?

00:38:41Well, got marked down at the airport for yelling, and they put me on double damage.

00:38:47How did it feel?

00:38:50Awful.

00:38:51I meant the yelling.

00:38:54I don't know.

00:38:55I was mad.

00:38:58Look at where it got me.

00:39:01But as long as I get to the wedding, do the speech, they'll overlook the 2.8.

00:39:07I'm with the bride, and if I do well, well, they're all high force, so that velocitates my arc.

00:39:11And once they lift the point penalty, well, then my average goes way up, and yeah, it's gonna be okay.

00:39:21God, you remind me of me.

00:39:24Not now.

00:39:27I was, uh, 4.6 once.

00:39:334.6?

00:39:34Used to live for it.

00:39:37Oh, the work I put in.

00:39:42Eight years ago, Tom, my husband, got cancer.

00:39:46He was pancreatic and the real bitch.

00:39:48The symptoms showed up late.

00:39:51I'm so sorry.

00:39:54You don't know me, so you're not really sorry.

00:39:57You're just, you're mainly awkward, because I have sprung some cancer talk at you.

00:40:02Anyway, I five-starred every doctor, every nurse, every high four consultant that we had.

00:40:09Ding, ding, ding.

00:40:10Thank you so much.

00:40:11And the cancer didn't give a shit.

00:40:13It just kept growing.

00:40:15A couple of months in, we heard about this experimental treatment.

00:40:19It was very expensive.

00:40:20It was very exclusive.

00:40:23I did everything I could to get him a spot there.

00:40:29Tom was a 4.3.

00:40:34They gave his bed to a 4.4.

00:40:41So when he died, I thought, fuck it.

00:40:47Started saying what I wanted, when I wanted.

00:40:50Just drop it out there.

00:40:53People don't always like that.

00:40:56It is incredible how fast you slip off the ladder when you start doing that.

00:41:00But it turned out, a lot of my friends didn't care for honesty.

00:41:07Treated me like I had taken a shit at their breakfast table.

00:41:12But Jesus Christ, it felt good.

00:41:16Shedding those fuckers.

00:41:19It was like taking off tight shoes.

00:41:22Maybe you should try it.

00:41:24Oh, come on.

00:41:25Why not?

00:41:26I can't just kick off my shoes and walk the earth or whatever.

00:41:32You won't know unless you try.

00:41:34That's just...

00:41:37Look, you had something with your life.

00:41:40Real things, good things.

00:41:42And you lost it all.

00:41:45And I'm sorry.

00:41:46So now you've got nothing left to lose.

00:41:51But I don't even have the something worth losing.

00:41:53Not yet, you know.

00:41:54I mean, I'm still fighting for that.

00:41:58And what is that?

00:42:01I don't know.

00:42:02Enough to be content.

00:42:05Like, to look around and think, well, I guess I'm okay.

00:42:11Just to be able to breathe out, not feeling like, like, like, just, and that is way off.

00:42:22Like, way, way off.

00:42:24And until I get there, I have to play the numbers game.

00:42:27You know, we all do.

00:42:28That's what we're in.

00:42:29That's how the fucking world works.

00:42:33Look, maybe you don't remember.

00:42:35You know, you're just too old to get it.

00:42:39I do not mean that how it sounds.

00:42:43Don't worry.

00:42:45I'm not voting you down.

00:43:11Sweetheart.

00:43:13What time is it?

00:43:14I'm heading east from here, so I think you need to get yourself another ride.

00:43:19Where are we?

00:43:20About 30 miles from Port Mary.

00:43:22And a lot of buses stop here, so you should be fine.

00:43:26Well, thank you.

00:43:27Good luck with your speech.

00:43:31I put a little something in there for you.

00:43:34You did?

00:43:35Emergency escape hatch.

00:43:41Bye.

00:43:56In this world, you're all so caught up in your own dramas.

00:44:02So, that was, like, the heck of Sea of Tranquility.

00:44:05Like, he'd never even heard of the show.

00:44:07I'm like, you never heard of Sea of Tranquility.

00:44:09Like, the number one sci-fi hack scene.

00:44:12He's all like, what the fuck?

00:44:13Whatever.

00:44:14I think I'm allergic to this purple.

00:44:16So, I'm like, well, I'm going to Tranquility Con in Port Mary.

00:44:19That's why I'm dressed like Lieutenant Duster.

00:44:22He's all like, uh, Port Mary's frickin' mall's away.

00:44:25Yada, yada, yada.

00:44:27He one-stars me.

00:44:29Like, thanks, Dad.

00:44:32See you back over there.

00:44:33Tranquility.

00:44:38Are you guys headed to Tranquility Con?

00:44:42You're in the Sea of Tranquility?

00:44:44Totally.

00:44:45I was all set to go.

00:44:47My friend, who's there already, has my costume.

00:44:49But my car broke down.

00:44:53Well, there's some space in the RV.

00:45:04Hi.

00:45:06Hey!

00:45:07You're a Trankhead, huh?

00:45:08Sorry?

00:45:09Trankhead.

00:45:10See you a Tranquility fan?

00:45:11Oh, yeah.

00:45:12We say Tranksters, where I'm from.

00:45:15Who's your favorite character?

00:45:16Got to be Lieutenant Duster?

00:45:19She's awesome.

00:45:20He.

00:45:21He.

00:45:21I misspoke.

00:45:23Lieutenant Duster has no fixed gender.

00:45:26I know.

00:45:26And that's why it's so hard to remember, right?

00:45:29Excuse me.

00:45:30I've got to get this, my friend.

00:45:32That's convention.

00:45:36Hi, Neri.

00:45:38So, oh, my God.

00:45:39Insane night.

00:45:41But I am so close now.

00:45:43Don't come.

00:45:47I'm, like, an hour away.

00:45:49Don't come.

00:45:50I don't want you here.

00:45:51I don't know what is up with you, but I cannot have a 2-6 at my wedding.

00:45:54Oh, no, that's temporary.

00:45:56That's temporary.

00:45:58Well, the wedding's today, so...

00:46:00But it doesn't change anything.

00:46:02Lacey.

00:46:02I could still do the same speech.

00:46:04Lacey.

00:46:05And there's Mr. Rags.

00:46:07No!

00:46:08But you invited me.

00:46:11You've seen the guest list.

00:46:12They are all, like, 4-5 or above.

00:46:13They are going to freak at a 2-6.

00:46:15And I am not taking that kind of damage.

00:46:17Plus, I haven't dipped under a 4-7 in, like, six months.

00:46:21You said you wanted your oldest friend.

00:46:24When I asked you to speak, you were a 4-2, okay?

00:46:28And the authenticity of a vintage Bond low-4 at a gathering of this caliber played fantastically in all the

00:46:33simulations we ran.

00:46:34Forecast was a prestige balance of 0.2 minimum.

00:46:37But now, you're a sub-3.

00:46:39Sorry.

00:46:40That just puts the stink on things a little too much.

00:46:42That just plays badly for us.

00:46:44So it was just about numbers for you?

00:46:46Oh, cut the shit.

00:46:48It was numbers for both of us.

00:46:50You wanted those primo votes.

00:46:51Don't deny it.

00:46:52I mean, it's not like you could get them on your own.

00:46:53Let's not kid ourselves.

00:46:54Oh, I'm getting those votes.

00:46:57What?

00:46:58You're just going to roll up here and make people like you?

00:47:01That's right.

00:47:01I'm doing my speech.

00:47:04No, you're not.

00:47:05Yes, I am.

00:47:06And they are going to vote me through the roof when they hear it.

00:47:10Weep their fucking eyes out.

00:47:12Go home!

00:47:16Hello?

00:47:19Fuck.

00:47:22I have never seen your stupid fucking show.

00:47:31Oh, they cancel it!

00:47:46I need a rock!

00:47:51Fuck!

00:47:54I need a rock!

00:48:04I need a rock!

00:48:14Fuck!

00:48:14Jesus!

00:48:14Hey!

00:48:15Hey!

00:48:20Can I borrow your bike?

00:48:22What?

00:48:23Can I borrow your bike?

00:48:26Dear Naomi Jane Blesner,

00:48:28take this man to be your husband,

00:48:31to live together with him in the covenant of marriage.

00:48:34Love him, comfort him, honor and keep him.

00:48:38In sickness and in health,

00:48:40we're saving all the others.

00:48:43We are faithful unto him.

00:48:54We are faithful unto him.

00:49:18No.

00:49:26Oh, my God, my God, my God, my God, my God.

00:49:48My best man, Anthony, let's hear it for him.

00:49:53You've been here from day one, I love you, man, I appreciate you.

00:49:57Hilarious speech, by the way, by your standards.

00:50:04Oh, he's still got two bullets left.

00:50:07Oh, man.

00:50:09Oh, gosh.

00:50:09Well, um, yeah, I...

00:50:16Our beautiful bridesmaids, with this, my most heartfelt thanks.

00:50:23My warmest thanks are to someone who's my best friend, my lover,

00:50:32and now, I'm honored to say my wife, Ney Omey.

00:50:39Ney Omey.

00:50:43Let's hear Ney Omey.

00:50:45Let's hear Ney Omey, let's hear Ney Omey.

00:50:48You're 18.

00:50:51I love you so much, Tom.

00:50:53Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no.

00:50:55Congrats, Ney's turn.

00:50:57No, thank you.

00:50:59Woo!

00:50:59Get over here.

00:51:01Get your ass over here.

00:51:02Fucking get in here, big boy.

00:51:05You're a beautiful man.

00:51:07You, oh, yeah.

00:51:10Get off the charts.

00:51:12Oh, you fucking earned it.

00:51:13You fucking earned it.

00:51:16Hello?

00:51:19Everybody, hello.

00:51:26Can everyone be quiet for a moment?

00:51:35Get rid of her.

00:51:37That would play awful.

00:51:38She's a fucking earned one.

00:51:39Now, for those of you who don't know me,

00:51:42which is all of you,

00:51:44my name is Lacey Pound,

00:51:49and, believe it or not,

00:51:50I am one of Naomi's oldest friends.

00:51:53Hi.

00:51:54Hey, Ney.

00:51:56It's great to meet you, too, Paul.

00:51:58I've heard a lot about you.

00:52:00It was a pretty big deal that Paul.

00:52:02Pretty big deal.

00:52:04He makes his own top of nod.

00:52:07Yeah.

00:52:13Anyway, I have looked up to Naomi

00:52:19pretty much my entire life.

00:52:20We met when we were five years old,

00:52:22and right up through to our teenage years,

00:52:24we made Point the Pair.

00:52:27We talk about all the things girls talk about,

00:52:30you know, boys, hair products.

00:52:34More boys.

00:52:36I mean, I tried sometimes to expand our range a little,

00:52:40talk about, I don't know, climate change,

00:52:42but she found that kind of boring, so...

00:52:45She was probably right.

00:52:48I mean, fuck the planet, right?

00:52:50Yes!

00:52:51Thank you!

00:52:52Come on!

00:52:53Let's have a little fun here!

00:52:55Fuck the planet!

00:52:58Fuck the planet!

00:52:59Oh!

00:53:02Uh...

00:53:04Anyway...

00:53:07I looked up to Naomi

00:53:10pretty much my entire life,

00:53:13which meant she was

00:53:15looking down on me.

00:53:19Always with a smile, though.

00:53:23In high school,

00:53:25she was my shoulder to cry on.

00:53:27She seemed to enjoy that.

00:53:29Guys in me never worked out.

00:53:32They'd see Naomi and just...

00:53:35Whoop!

00:53:36You know, that was it.

00:53:38She had this...

00:53:40tight...

00:53:42ass.

00:53:44Like, two...

00:53:46fists.

00:53:48I was all like...

00:53:52I was like...

00:53:57Through the hallways and high school...

00:54:18And she was there for me.

00:54:22Holding my hair back.

00:54:25As I know...

00:54:28Vomiting...

00:54:29In front of the crapper.

00:54:35Thank you...

00:54:37For that, Naomi.

00:54:41I always wished I was you.

00:54:46And...

00:54:48I guess that's why you kept me around so long.

00:54:53Until you got your...

00:54:55New job.

00:54:57And...

00:54:58Your...

00:55:00Fancy...

00:55:00New friends.

00:55:04And...

00:55:06That...

00:55:09Fucking...

00:55:10Jackhole!

00:55:12And you didn't need me.

00:55:13You probably got another me.

00:55:15You know, I guess there's some other BFF you moved on to like a succubus.

00:55:21I'm getting to Mr. Rags, okay?

00:55:23Jesus!

00:55:26Stay back.

00:55:28Fuck.

00:55:29Stay the fuck back!

00:55:31I'll kill him!

00:55:32I'll cut his head off and stick it on my ass!

00:55:37Time's nearly up!

00:55:38Time's nearly up!

00:55:39Hey, hey!

00:55:40Calm down.

00:55:40I just wanted to say in this, we're all so caught up in our own shits.

00:55:45It's okay, it's okay.

00:55:46Let's not forget what matters.

00:55:49Happiness.

00:55:51Fucking Paul and Naomi and...

00:55:55She's...

00:55:56She...

00:55:58Fucked...

00:55:59Greg!

00:56:01I know she did!

00:56:04I know...

00:56:06You did!

00:56:07It's not...

00:56:07Don't even try...

00:56:09To deny...

00:56:11The little girl...

00:56:13Who...

00:56:14When we were just five years old...

00:56:16In our camp...

00:56:18Started talking to me because she saw I was scared...

00:56:21And helped me make Mr. Rags...

00:56:24He reminds me of you!

00:56:27And what you meant to me then!

00:56:30And I'm so honored to be here to see this shit!

00:56:34I love you, Nadine!

00:56:37I've always loved you!

00:56:40I love you!

00:57:03Noflowing...

00:57:12I love you, Nadine!

00:57:12Noflowing...

00:57:12I love you, Nadine!

00:57:19You mentioned Arrowhead тебя, the first time we saw quoted as well,

00:57:19Who went and saw you and saw you!

00:57:19It went down for hours...

00:57:19Whatever it was, nothing did that!

00:57:19But it was always a place to come to Dovetix Maro!

00:57:19A dangerous anargging tofall in to God...

00:57:19But your bodies are onto a hilltop.

00:57:20Thank you for the rest to meaż

00:57:23you!

00:59:28The fuck are you looking at?

00:59:30Just what I was wondering.

00:59:33Well...

00:59:35Don't!

00:59:37Don't?

00:59:38Don't wander?

00:59:40Uh-huh.

00:59:42Be a dull world without wonder.

00:59:44I don't give a shit about your world.

00:59:47I don't like your brassiere.

00:59:53I don't like your mustache.

00:59:55I don't like your aura.

00:59:58My aura?

00:59:59Yeah.

01:00:01I don't like your head.

01:00:06Your entire head is just ridiculous to me.

01:00:09Really?

01:00:10You look like an alcoholic former weatherman.

01:00:16You sound like a lost little lamb that just got told there's no Santa Claus.

01:00:22What sort of cartoon character did your mom have to fuck to brew you up in the womb?

01:00:26At least I look like I was born, not shit out by some tormented cow creature in an underground lab.

01:00:32You got tossed out of that lab.

01:00:34Oh yeah?

01:00:35Oh yeah, fleshed out.

01:00:37Ooh.

01:00:38In the trash.

01:00:40Your face is a fucking...

01:00:43Fucking.

01:00:44A fucking...

01:00:45biological car crash that'd make Picasso screw his eyes up and say,

01:00:50well, that just don't make sense.

01:00:53You're a fucking asshole.

01:00:54Fuck you!

01:00:55Fuck you next Wednesday.

01:00:57Fuck you for Christmas.

01:00:58Fuck you!

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