B.M. 7. White Christmas.

deaddogsdam

First broadcast 16th December 2014.  Three interconnected tales of technology run amok during the Christmas season are told by two men at a remote outpost in a frozen wilderness.  Jon Hamm - Matt Trent Rafe Spall - Potter Oona Chaplin - Greta Natalia Tena - Jennifer Janet Montgomery - Beth Rasmus Hardiker - Harry Dan Li - Tim Ken Drury - Gordon Zahra Ahmadi - Gita Verity Marshall - Amy Ian Attard - Dawson (as Ian Keir Attard) Grainne Keenan - Claire (as Gráinne Keenan) Robin Weaver - Holder Simon Nock - Fenn Diveen Henry - Fola Esther Smith - Madge Beatrice Curnew - Surgeon Jonathan Arkwright - Bloke at Bar Liz May Brice - Gainsborough Nicholas Agnew - Mungo Gavin Kean - Desk Sergeant Sukh Ojla - Market Woman Leanne Li - May Magnus Robertson-Jones - Baby May Double Beatrice Robertson-Jones - Older May Double Raphael Sowole - Nixon Turlough Convery - Stingray Samuel Valentine - I_AM_WALDO Matthew Aubrey - El Nino  Muzz Khan - Fappuccino Daniel Kendrick - Pie Ape Paul Blackwell - Police Officer Richard Cullen - Police Officer Susan Hughes - Pub Patron Jassie Mortimer - Karaoke Pub Customer Ricky Rajpal - Party Guest Neil Alexander Smith - Tall Man at Bar

Transcript

00:00:00So

00:00:43I don't know.

00:01:00Oh, my God.

00:01:38I was just getting into that.

00:01:40What are you doing?

00:01:42Roast potatoes.

00:01:44We're doing Christmas.

00:01:46Christmas?

00:01:47Christmas Day, December 25th.

00:01:49You've heard of it?

00:01:51No work today, so, uh,

00:01:54bottle's on the table.

00:01:56I know we didn't have decorations last year,

00:01:58but, uh, I couldn't find them last year.

00:02:00They were only supposed to have stored essentials here.

00:02:03I think it's kind of adorable

00:02:04someone thinks tinsel is essential.

00:02:11I figured it'd be good for us to have a...

00:02:13a meal.

00:02:15A drink.

00:02:17Talk.

00:02:18Good for you or me?

00:02:20Come on, what has it been? Five years?

00:02:21How many sentences have you said to me?

00:02:22Three?

00:02:25I mean, I'm exaggerating.

00:02:26A little.

00:02:28But come on, there is a little bit of a

00:02:31conversational drought happening here.

00:02:32My ears need water.

00:02:33I'm not big on conversation.

00:02:35Practice makes perfect.

00:02:36Maybe I'll bore you.

00:02:38Buddy, look, at this point,

00:02:40being bored by anything other than snow

00:02:42would be a relief.

00:02:45So, come on.

00:02:47Chit-chat.

00:02:51Conversate.

00:02:52Something.

00:02:53Come on, for me.

00:02:56For Christmas.

00:02:58What do you want to talk about?

00:03:03Why are you here?

00:03:05No one ends up here

00:03:06without things going to total shit

00:03:08for them back out there.

00:03:10It's a job, nor a jail.

00:03:11Often, one and the same thing.

00:03:15I don't want to talk about it.

00:03:18What went wrong for you out there?

00:03:22Nothing.

00:03:24Bullshit.

00:03:28It's not an interrogation.

00:03:30What about you?

00:03:32An icebreaker.

00:03:33You're learning.

00:03:34Well, what went to shit for you?

00:03:38You sure you don't want that drink?

00:03:39Did you talk your way into trouble?

00:03:42In a roundabout way.

00:03:45I talked to people.

00:03:47Made money from it.

00:03:48Well, what were you?

00:03:50Some sort of a

00:03:51Los Angeles drive-time DJ?

00:03:53I was not a DJ.

00:03:57More like a guru.

00:03:59Oh, don't say you were a spiritual guru.

00:04:01I was decidedly not a spiritual guru.

00:04:12Hello, Harry.

00:04:14Patches are now.

00:04:15How are you doing?

00:04:15Sorry, I'm not quite dressed yet.

00:04:17Don't worry.

00:04:18That's why I'm here.

00:04:19Just show me what you're planning on wearing

00:04:22and we'll take things from there.

00:04:26How about this?

00:04:27It doesn't work.

00:04:29It's boring blue

00:04:30and you're not boring blue.

00:04:31Not tonight.

00:04:34All right, which one of these is good?

00:04:36Like I said,

00:04:36white shirt with a black tie

00:04:38with a slim cut grey jacket.

00:04:40Classic, timeless, smart.

00:04:45I don't usually do jackets.

00:04:47You don't usually do anything.

00:04:50And sort out that hair

00:04:51because...

00:04:52Okay.

00:04:55Remember those

00:04:56breathing techniques

00:04:57we talked about, okay?

00:04:59You're gonna do fine.

00:05:01It's gonna be fine.

00:05:07What's the dad?

00:05:08What's she gonna learn?

00:05:11She's cute.

00:05:13Yes.

00:05:14Not out loud?

00:05:16Absolutely.

00:05:19You need to pick your spots

00:05:20when you want to talk out loud.

00:05:21Okay?

00:05:24Okay.

00:05:26Function room is in the back.

00:05:28Trust me.

00:05:29If you walk in there like you belong,

00:05:32no one's gonna say anything.

00:05:33Okay.

00:05:35So what were you running?

00:05:36Some corporate espionage outfit?

00:05:38Romantic services.

00:05:40Boy meets girl,

00:05:41thanks to in-the-field assistants.

00:05:45You coach dorks

00:05:46whilst they crew singles bars?

00:05:48Singles bars are depressing.

00:05:50We do regular bars and clubs,

00:05:51but at Christmas time,

00:05:54the gate crash office parties.

00:05:56See, there's this dynamic

00:05:57to Christmas work parties.

00:06:01all the attractive women

00:06:02have been surrounded

00:06:03by regulation office

00:06:05ass clowns for the whole year,

00:06:07and now they want to let their hair down.

00:06:08According to the pop psychologist.

00:06:11So I know how the mind works.

00:06:13Now don't stand around like a lamppost.

00:06:16Walk over to the bar.

00:06:17Remember, always move with purpose.

00:06:22Yeah, who's next?

00:06:24Yeah, can I have a...

00:06:25Three pints,

00:06:26a vodka, diet Coke,

00:06:27and a shot of tequila.

00:06:29Yeah, don't worry about him.

00:06:31All right?

00:06:33Just grab one of those empty bottles

00:06:35off the bar

00:06:35while Captain Douchebag

00:06:36orders his piss water.

00:06:37We're just gonna need it

00:06:38for a prop anyway.

00:06:40Have a look around.

00:06:44Say anything you like.

00:06:54About the blonde.

00:06:57The dark-haired girl.

00:07:00Interesting choice.

00:07:02Go straight over it,

00:07:02but focus on the blonde.

00:07:04Now.

00:07:05Come on.

00:07:06Confidence.

00:07:07You can do this.

00:07:14Hold on.

00:07:14I'm just finding out

00:07:15who they are.

00:07:25Okay.

00:07:26Uh, bullshit opener.

00:07:28Try the horse story

00:07:29at the blonde girl.

00:07:30Somebody's probably gonna hear me.

00:07:33Hey, so,

00:07:34did anyone see

00:07:35that guy outside

00:07:36riding the horse?

00:07:38Did you see him?

00:07:38What, a guy on a horse?

00:07:39Yeah, like 20 minutes ago.

00:07:40This guy,

00:07:42shirtless,

00:07:42riding a horse

00:07:43down the high street.

00:07:44Really?

00:07:45Yeah, honestly,

00:07:46he, uh,

00:07:47the weirdest part

00:07:47was that he had

00:07:48a bow and arrow.

00:07:49Right.

00:07:49A real bow and arrow?

00:07:51I swear to God,

00:07:52he probably did it

00:07:53for a bit,

00:07:54but he looked like

00:07:54something out of Tolkien,

00:07:55you know?

00:07:56You know,

00:07:56the...

00:07:57Sorry.

00:07:59Who are you?

00:08:00Stall,

00:08:01until I,

00:08:02until I find something.

00:08:03Pretty sure I'm me.

00:08:07just,

00:08:08you're not from the office.

00:08:09Who do you know

00:08:10from here?

00:08:11Say, I know you,

00:08:13friendly.

00:08:14I know you for one.

00:08:20Dawson.

00:08:21Dawson,

00:08:22isn't it?

00:08:24You met at

00:08:25Cat's Barbecue.

00:08:27Yeah,

00:08:28we met at

00:08:28Cat's Barbecue

00:08:29back in...

00:08:31June.

00:08:31June or so,

00:08:32yeah?

00:08:37You had a pork pie hat.

00:08:38You had a poor guy's hat.

00:08:40A pork pie hat.

00:08:42A pork pie hat

00:08:44that you,

00:08:44that you wore

00:08:45on your head.

00:08:52He'll pretend he remembers

00:08:53even though

00:08:54he won't actually

00:08:55know if he does.

00:08:57Right.

00:08:58Yeah?

00:08:59Yeah.

00:09:01Sorry.

00:09:02No.

00:09:02No worries.

00:09:03No worries.

00:09:04Crazy night.

00:09:06You're doing fine.

00:09:07Don't look like the blonde.

00:09:09You,

00:09:09I don't know.

00:09:11Amy.

00:09:12Amy,

00:09:13hi.

00:09:13Get her to introduce

00:09:14you to the dark hair girl.

00:09:16So,

00:09:17are all of your friends

00:09:18this suspicious?

00:09:19Nice.

00:09:20I don't think so.

00:09:22Yeah?

00:09:22This is Jennifer.

00:09:24Hi, Jennifer.

00:09:25Hi.

00:09:27Now,

00:09:27focus on Amy

00:09:28and we'll do that

00:09:29funny material

00:09:30that we worked on.

00:09:31Anyway,

00:09:32this guy gets off the horse

00:09:33and he's got a backpack,

00:09:34right?

00:09:34The tactic,

00:09:35generally,

00:09:36was to deliberately

00:09:37freeze out

00:09:38the one you were

00:09:39actually interested in.

00:09:41For one thing,

00:09:42you wouldn't seem needy,

00:09:42but also they would

00:09:44most times

00:09:45sort of lean in

00:09:47naturally.

00:09:48People want to be noticed.

00:09:51They don't like to be

00:09:52shut out.

00:09:52It makes them feel invisible.

00:09:54But,

00:09:55this girl,

00:09:58this girl seemed content

00:10:00with being ignored.

00:10:04Maybe she could

00:10:04smell a loser.

00:10:06No.

00:10:08No.

00:10:08She was an outsider.

00:10:11An attractive outsider.

00:10:15There's nothing more

00:10:15tantalizing than that.

00:10:20Huh.

00:10:20Right.

00:10:22Well,

00:10:23she's off.

00:10:24Okay?

00:10:26Going to be a challenge?

00:10:27Don't quit.

00:10:29Let's let our friend Amy

00:10:30hear.

00:10:30You had her on for a little while

00:10:31and then find an excuse

00:10:33to slip away.

00:10:35Sit outside on the balcony

00:10:36until like four in the morning.

00:10:38That's just that's when you...

00:10:39Listen,

00:10:40I've just got to go to

00:10:41the little boy's room.

00:10:42So,

00:10:43just keep the party going

00:10:44and, you know,

00:10:45yeah.

00:10:45Sure.

00:10:57Do you actually have to go?

00:10:59Yeah,

00:10:59but it's not easy

00:11:00with you watching.

00:11:03I promise,

00:11:04I won't peek.

00:11:12So,

00:11:12you streamed everything

00:11:13you saw?

00:11:14And he trusted you

00:11:15with that?

00:11:16Well,

00:11:18there's only me watching.

00:11:21Jesus,

00:11:22how much urine?

00:11:23He's pissing like

00:11:23a harpoon cow.

00:11:25He's making me

00:11:26want to go.

00:11:28Well,

00:11:28it is.

00:11:33Okay,

00:11:33there's our girl.

00:11:35Um,

00:11:35all right,

00:11:36Harry,

00:11:37your best bet

00:11:38is to just go over

00:11:39and start talking to her.

00:11:40Just want to establish

00:11:41a rapport.

00:11:42Okay?

00:11:43Don't be scared of her.

00:11:45Okay,

00:11:45guys,

00:11:45any observations

00:11:46so far

00:11:47helping our man out here?

00:11:48Uh,

00:11:49yours was interesting.

00:11:50She's pretty,

00:11:50but, uh,

00:11:51no one's hitting on her.

00:11:52Probably means they've given up.

00:11:53She always gives them

00:11:54the brush off,

00:11:54because...

00:11:54They're regular types.

00:11:55She's an outsider

00:11:56with zero in common.

00:11:58Okay,

00:11:58that's a possible in.

00:11:59Harry,

00:12:00engage in conversation,

00:12:01but be cynical.

00:12:02Right?

00:12:03Cutting.

00:12:04Like Bonnie and Clyde,

00:12:06huh?

00:12:06You two against the world.

00:12:11Confidence.

00:12:12Confidence.

00:12:12Just talk to her.

00:12:15I don't really get parties.

00:12:17You know,

00:12:18you just kind of turn up,

00:12:19and it's,

00:12:19oh,

00:12:19it's enforced fun all night.

00:12:21Talk about

00:12:23what TV shows

00:12:24you've fallen behind on.

00:12:25Pretend to be happy.

00:12:27Maybe it's...

00:12:28Maybe everyone else enjoys it.

00:12:30Maybe it's just me.

00:12:31It's definitely not just you.

00:12:33All right,

00:12:34good start.

00:12:34I'll do some more

00:12:35outsider small talk.

00:12:38I keep looking at her.

00:12:39I need to gauge her reactions.

00:12:43So I noticed you

00:12:44sitting alone on the edge,

00:12:45and I, uh,

00:12:46I thought, uh,

00:12:47hey,

00:12:47kindred spirit.

00:12:50I really hate

00:12:51when people say

00:12:52kindred spirit,

00:12:53you know,

00:12:53and people that do that.

00:12:57Me too.

00:12:58Hmm.

00:12:59Yeah,

00:13:00I guess you, uh,

00:13:00don't really like parties either.

00:13:02The noise wrecks it for me?

00:13:05All the talking

00:13:06and talking,

00:13:07it never fucking stops.

00:13:09Okay,

00:13:10she curses,

00:13:11so should you.

00:13:13Shit,

00:13:13fucking,

00:13:14I fucking always

00:13:15totally think

00:13:15that it's fucking shit,

00:13:16you know?

00:13:16I can't think

00:13:17through all the babble.

00:13:19I only got through it

00:13:20last year

00:13:21because I was on drugs.

00:13:24I'm sorry,

00:13:25what's that?

00:13:25What's that?

00:13:26Just,

00:13:26like,

00:13:27pills,

00:13:27but

00:13:28it must have been

00:13:29pretty strong

00:13:30because I actually

00:13:31enjoyed myself.

00:13:33That's cool.

00:13:34Don't say cool.

00:13:35I wish I had some drugs.

00:13:37Right now.

00:13:37No, you don't.

00:13:39I'm just,

00:13:39I'm joking.

00:13:40I don't take them anymore.

00:13:42You say that's good.

00:13:43Well,

00:13:44that's good

00:13:44because you don't.

00:13:45You don't need

00:13:45that shit in your system.

00:13:47No.

00:13:48I'd say

00:13:49she's a level 4 rock chick.

00:13:50You're semi-reformed.

00:13:51Probably respond well

00:13:52to spiritual conversations.

00:13:53I don't think

00:13:54I can face fucking weeks

00:13:55of that.

00:13:56I might bail, boys.

00:13:58Okay, look,

00:13:59it's too public here.

00:14:00Ask if you can move

00:14:00someplace quieter

00:14:01where you can really talk.

00:14:09People just want to be heard.

00:14:10That's why 90% of seduction

00:14:11is just listening.

00:14:12Or at least putting a face

00:14:14like you're listening.

00:14:14Yeah,

00:14:15that works too.

00:14:16The important thing is

00:14:17to make them feel important.

00:14:19Like they could make you

00:14:20want to extinguish

00:14:21the rest of the world

00:14:22and focus on them.

00:14:27Full attention.

00:14:29Like you're not giving me now.

00:14:31What's wrong?

00:14:32A clock.

00:14:34What about it?

00:14:36I've just never noticed it before.

00:14:39Five years?

00:14:40Jesus.

00:14:43Anyway,

00:14:44the point is to stay locked in

00:14:46on them long enough

00:14:48to build a rapport.

00:14:50So, well,

00:14:51I would guess that either

00:14:53every guy in there

00:14:53has already tried to hit on you

00:14:55or maybe they find you

00:14:56too intimidating.

00:14:57Am I intimidating?

00:14:59No.

00:14:59No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:15:00I'm just, er...

00:15:02No, I would just imagine

00:15:03that they all kind of

00:15:04want to get inside your...

00:15:05Head.

00:15:06Head.

00:15:08Some of them have tried.

00:15:11Not directly.

00:15:12They send messages

00:15:13or they make it so you know

00:15:15what they're thinking.

00:15:16Yeah, that can't be fun.

00:15:17It's just tiring, you know.

00:15:19It just doesn't end.

00:15:21Ever.

00:15:23Really?

00:15:26Okay, er...

00:15:27Ask her how long

00:15:28she's worked there.

00:15:30Um...

00:15:30So how long have you worked for...

00:15:32Mags and Frank.

00:15:33Mags and Frank.

00:15:35Three years.

00:15:36Oh, wow.

00:15:36So three Christmas parties.

00:15:38This will be my last.

00:15:40Oh, really?

00:15:40Are you leaving?

00:15:42I've been planning it forever,

00:15:44but you know what it's like.

00:15:46You know you have to do it,

00:15:47but when it comes right down to it,

00:15:48it's hard to work up the courage.

00:15:51You can empathize with that.

00:15:53Yeah, it's like when you want to jump into a pool

00:15:55and you're worried that the water's going to be cold,

00:15:58but you know moments after you jump in

00:16:00that it'll be fine.

00:16:01It's the fear of the shock that holds you back.

00:16:04Ultimately, the only thing you're worried about

00:16:05is the transition from one state to another.

00:16:09And that can't hurt you

00:16:10because it's just a state change.

00:16:12Great stuff, kid.

00:16:13Almost word for word.

00:16:16That's exactly right.

00:16:17It's just a state change.

00:16:19Right, and it's frustrating

00:16:20because you've always got these ten voices in your head

00:16:22saying don't do it

00:16:23and another ten in your head saying do it.

00:16:26Which one do you listen to?

00:16:27The do-its.

00:16:29Really?

00:16:30Yeah, if you don't like it,

00:16:32you can just cut and run, you know?

00:16:34Get it over and done with.

00:16:36You're right.

00:16:38I will.

00:16:42Well, the changing states.

00:16:45It's a changing state.

00:16:47Oh, sorry.

00:16:49I'm so sorry.

00:16:50She touched his fucking knee.

00:16:52Gentlemen, gentlemen, please, please.

00:16:56Harry, you're doing great.

00:16:57No, don't worry, honestly.

00:16:58Ask if she would like another drink.

00:16:59Listen, let me get you another drink.

00:17:03Let me think.

00:17:04I just need to do a sec.

00:17:11So thanks to you,

00:17:12some Gorko finally meets a girl.

00:17:14It's not much of a Christmas story.

00:17:17I haven't finished yet.

00:17:19Maybe it comes down her chimney.

00:17:32I just don't feel comfortable doing this.

00:17:34What?

00:17:35I mean, she...

00:17:36I like her.

00:17:37She likes you.

00:17:38It's cheating.

00:17:40I'd never have even had the nerve to talk to her.

00:17:42Aren't you glad you did?

00:17:44Yeah, I...

00:17:45Yes, yes.

00:17:46I just...

00:17:47Yeah, it's just a bit of a nightmare having you, you know?

00:17:50All of you in my head watching us, telling me what to do,

00:17:54and I just want to talk to her myself,

00:17:56and it's...

00:17:57It's a bit of a head fuck.

00:17:58I just kind of want you to all go away.

00:18:00I don't...

00:18:06Come back to mine.

00:18:08I'm sorry?

00:18:09I want you to come back to mine.

00:18:11I thought about asking you,

00:18:12and a little voice said,

00:18:13do it, so I'm doing it.

00:18:17Um...

00:18:18Ah...

00:18:18Say yes.

00:18:19I want to do this.

00:18:21It's my way of saying thanks.

00:18:23It's my way of saying thanks.

00:18:27Sorry.

00:18:28No.

00:18:30Um...

00:18:30On his first run!

00:18:32His first bloody run!

00:18:33Yes, yes, yes.

00:18:43I don't usually bring people back here.

00:18:47Well, I'm honoured, eh?

00:18:50Come in.

00:18:50Did you watch when they went back to hers

00:18:53and got up to whatever they got up to?

00:18:56Did you carry on watching through his eyes?

00:19:01What do you think I am?

00:19:04Clearly, I don't know.

00:19:06Maybe if you spoke to me more, you'd know.

00:19:10No.

00:19:12My job was done.

00:19:13Of course, I didn't watch.

00:19:16Hey, yeah?

00:19:16Uh-huh.

00:19:17Okay.

00:19:20Nice place.

00:19:21I like the mantelpiece.

00:19:23And that bird.

00:19:25Kooky decor.

00:19:26Indicating sexual adventurousness.

00:19:31So...

00:19:34I'll get the drinks.

00:19:36Yeah, okay.

00:19:36I'll just sit...

00:19:37The bedroom's that big.

00:19:39Yeah, okay.

00:19:40I'll meet you in there.

00:19:47Okay, Harry.

00:19:49You're going to the moon.

00:19:51Just sooner than expected.

00:19:54I can't...

00:19:55I can't do it.

00:19:56This is first time you're...

00:19:57It's happening so suddenly.

00:19:58I didn't expect this this quickly.

00:20:00You're just going to roll with her.

00:20:01I don't want you all to see, all right?

00:20:03Oh, no, he's Mr. Fucking Ethics.

00:20:05Well, no, wait.

00:20:05You were happy to take a window seat while others did it.

00:20:08That was completely different.

00:20:08Didn't you hear any objections when you watched me getting sacked off by that German girl?

00:20:11That was her first date.

00:20:13Look.

00:20:14Refund.

00:20:14Look, she's too real.

00:20:16This is too real.

00:20:16No, nothing is too real.

00:20:18Yeah, but...

00:20:24You're standing.

00:20:26Yeah, I, uh...

00:20:28I just didn't want to be too presumptuous.

00:20:32I need you on the bed.

00:20:35Jesus.

00:20:37Jesus.

00:20:49I can't fucking wait.

00:20:55Is she gonna take that top off?

00:20:58If it's not tits, I want a discount.

00:21:00They're gonna have sex.

00:21:01You're getting the season finale in episode one.

00:21:04Yeah, but if I don't see her tits...

00:21:06Look, will you please be patient?

00:21:07Jesus.

00:21:09Have some respect.

00:21:15Hey.

00:21:16You okay in there?

00:21:18Oh, wow, what is that?

00:21:20Fuck them is what it is.

00:21:22A big glass of fuck them.

00:21:24Fuck who?

00:21:26Always saying what to do.

00:21:27Half saying one thing, half saying another.

00:21:30The talk.

00:21:31The constant talk.

00:21:33This isn't good.

00:21:34I'm not getting tits, am I?

00:21:35I stopped taking the pills.

00:21:37They said I should take because they dulled the sound.

00:21:41Always they've spoken to me.

00:21:44Always there.

00:21:45And I've had it.

00:21:48Okay, Harry, I think we should think about wrapping this up.

00:21:50I was planning on drinking this tonight to make you stop, but I was wavering.

00:21:55Coward.

00:21:56Fucking coward.

00:21:57And then I met you.

00:22:02It was fate.

00:22:03You knew what it was like, and you said, do it.

00:22:06So now we're saying, fuck it together.

00:22:11What's in the drink?

00:22:12It doesn't matter.

00:22:13Wrap it up.

00:22:13I know you hear them too.

00:22:15I saw you talking to them.

00:22:17No, they're real people.

00:22:18These are real people.

00:22:19There's such a thing as real people.

00:22:21Harry, get out of there now.

00:22:23It's like a club.

00:22:24It's a club where we meet girls and they talk us through.

00:22:26No one understands me either.

00:22:28No.

00:22:29All night they've been watching us, and there's this one guy who's the leader.

00:22:34He's the leader.

00:22:35We're the same.

00:22:37They're watching us all night.

00:22:38They've been watching.

00:22:39They can see you.

00:22:40They can see me.

00:22:40No one understands what that's like.

00:22:43There are a hundred who see through me, standing at their government depots, shouting what to think.

00:22:53Not anymore.

00:23:04You two.

00:23:05I don't want it.

00:23:06It's a stage change.

00:23:08I don't want it.

00:23:09It's just a transition.

00:23:11And soon, they won't be there, and we'll be free.

00:23:16Please.

00:23:17Please.

00:23:18I don't want it.

00:23:19It do.

00:23:20It do.

00:23:24It do.

00:23:25It do.

00:23:26She murdered him.

00:23:28Mercy killing, she'd say.

00:23:30So when did you find out about this?

00:23:32Hmm?

00:23:33I mean, when did you know that this had happened?

00:23:37Uh, I thought on a newscast, I think.

00:23:48Wipe and destroy everything, okay?

00:23:49Everything.

00:23:50Now, go.

00:23:50Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

00:23:56oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

00:24:00oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

00:24:04oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

00:24:43Matthew, what's going on?

00:24:47What are you doing?

00:24:57So, Claire, she was my wife.

00:25:02She's British.

00:25:04I like her.

00:25:05And I'm your wife, in fact.

00:25:08Claire found out I was involved and took what you might call a dim view.

00:25:15She blocked me.

00:25:17You ever been blocked?

00:25:18I've had enough, Matthew.

00:25:20It's done.

00:25:21Not this time.

00:25:25Drives you crazy.

00:25:27Why?

00:25:27Once they hit that button, that's it.

00:25:29You're locked out.

00:25:30End of conversation.

00:25:31You can't hear or speak to them.

00:25:33They can't hear or speak to you.

00:25:35Every time you look at them, there's just this anonymous shape.

00:25:42Usually they last for, what, like an hour?

00:25:45But when they leave it going, shit.

00:25:50Price is progress, I suppose.

00:25:56We all got, uh, we all got Zed eyes put in, right?

00:26:00Which is all fine and dandy until something like this happens, and then it's bullshit.

00:26:06You can't even take them out.

00:26:14Packet gravy.

00:26:15How British.

00:26:23Merry Christmas.

00:26:37Now we're festive.

00:26:40Huh?

00:26:43It's a Christmas.

00:26:53Anyway, she left me, took custody of Mel.

00:26:57It's our daughter.

00:27:00Hence, stranding me in this lovely place.

00:27:03I didn't want to be surrounded by reminders.

00:27:14What?

00:27:15Did you hear that?

00:27:17You're what?

00:27:26Well, anyway, I'm glad we're talking.

00:27:30Silence can be impressive.

00:27:31You think weird shit in a vacuum, huh?

00:27:34I mean, you feel better, right?

00:27:37Communicating.

00:27:40Talking to me, finally.

00:27:41A little bit maybe, yeah.

00:27:45You are a locked box.

00:27:51I mean, that's a good thing.

00:27:53Most people are too easy to read.

00:27:55Especially if you know minds.

00:27:57Using party tricks to pick up girls isn't knowing minds.

00:28:01Picking up girls isn't as a hobby.

00:28:04My job was completely different.

00:28:08Never guess what that was.

00:28:13Marketing person?

00:28:14No.

00:28:16Door-to-door salesman?

00:28:18Please.

00:28:19Proctologist?

00:28:22Never gonna get it.

00:28:24I'm not gonna try.

00:28:26All right.

00:28:28Let's make it a game.

00:28:33I'll describe to you my day at work, and you stop me when you've guessed it.

00:28:40Retailers say the extreme weather has hit sales hard this Christmas.

00:28:44Five inches of snow...

00:28:45Well, that's going to wreck my portfolio, just what I needed.

00:28:50Don't know what I'm gonna do about that.

00:28:52Oh, God.

00:28:53No messages.

00:28:54I'll never clear this inbox.

00:28:58Sorry.

00:28:59Constant bloody admin.

00:29:01Just time for a little snack.

00:29:02I can eat before an operation.

00:29:04Wonders of modern science.

00:29:07Oh, thank God.

00:29:08I'm starving.

00:29:10Oh, that toast looks burnt.

00:29:12Should I say something?

00:29:13Yeah.

00:29:14I think I'll say something.

00:29:15Well, good.

00:29:17To be honest, it's not quite how I like it.

00:29:20It's a bit overdone.

00:29:22Sorry.

00:29:24I'll make some more.

00:29:26Bet she hates me now.

00:29:30How long is this gonna take?

00:29:33Hi, I'm Marge.

00:29:35Samira needs the test today.

00:29:37Hi.

00:29:38God, she's young.

00:29:39Hope she's qualified.

00:29:41Okay, enough.

00:29:43Stop thinking about things that could go wrong.

00:29:45They said it straightforward and painless.

00:29:47I'm just going to relax.

00:29:50Okay, Greta, just relax.

00:29:52Here we go.

00:29:54I'll just count backwards from ten.

00:29:57Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three,

00:30:05three, two, one.

00:30:07I can't, I can't see.

00:30:11Where am I?

00:30:15What's that noise?

00:30:17Why can't I see?

00:30:19Preparing to extract cookie.

00:30:22What?

00:30:23No, wait, I'm still awake.

00:30:24Oh, my God.

00:30:25Oh, my God, what's happening?

00:30:27Excuse me.

00:30:28Oh, my God.

00:30:31That's me.

00:30:33That's me.

00:30:33Oh, my God.

00:30:35Where am I?

00:30:36I don't know what's happening.

00:30:38I don't know what's happening to me.

00:30:42Hello?

00:30:44Is there, is anyone there?

00:30:47Hello?

00:30:51Ow!

00:30:52Sorry.

00:30:57You're probably pretty weirded out right now, I'm guessing.

00:31:03It's okay, you can talk.

00:31:04I can, I can hear you through this.

00:31:07Hello?

00:31:08Hi.

00:31:10I'm Matthew.

00:31:11I'm from Smartelligence.

00:31:15My job is to explain what's happening to you as best I can.

00:31:19Oh, my God, am I dead?

00:31:20No, no.

00:31:22You're not dead.

00:31:23No one's dead here.

00:31:26How old did you say you were?

00:31:2930?

00:31:3129.

00:31:3229, right.

00:31:33Uh, so you won't remember Xerox machines.

00:31:36Do you know what a photocopier is?

00:31:38What?

00:31:39Do you know what a copy is?

00:31:41As in a copy of something?

00:31:42Of course I know what that is.

00:31:43Well, that's what you are.

00:31:47A copy of...

00:31:49A copy of you.

00:31:51But I am me.

00:31:53Okay.

00:31:55Try to blow on my face.

00:32:00You can't.

00:32:01Because you don't have a body.

00:32:05Where are your fingers?

00:32:06Your arms?

00:32:08Your face?

00:32:10Nowhere.

00:32:12Because your code.

00:32:13Your simulated brainful of code.

00:32:17Stored in this little widget we call a cookie.

00:32:21Why have you done this to me?

00:32:22Uh, well, uh, actually you did this to you.

00:32:26Uh, real you is paying for this.

00:32:28I don't understand.

00:32:30See, what this is, is a service.

00:32:33Uh, we take a blank cookie and we surgically implant it into a client's brain.

00:32:40It sits there, just, just under the skin for about a week.

00:32:45Shadowing.

00:32:47Um, soaking up the way this particular mind works.

00:32:51That's why you think you're you.

00:32:53You are you.

00:32:54Uh, but also not.

00:32:59Right.

00:33:00Well, it is a lot to process, even from inside a processor.

00:33:04Put me back in my body!

00:33:06Hmm.

00:33:08Well, that's where real you lives.

00:33:10But, uh, what we will do, though, is we will give you a simulated body.

00:33:15We find that sometimes that helps.

00:33:18Are you ready?

00:33:18What?

00:33:19I don't understand!

00:33:21Three, two, one.

00:33:36Hey.

00:33:39Better?

00:33:44This is my body.

00:33:46Let's not get into that again.

00:33:48Uh, look around you.

00:33:52Got a control room.

00:33:56What's this for?

00:33:57Uh, that, that, that console, that's for you to control the house.

00:34:01I mean, real you's house.

00:34:04Look, uh, how do you like your toast?

00:34:08What?

00:34:09How do you like your toast?

00:34:12Underdone, slightly underdone.

00:34:14Okay, perfect.

00:34:16Think about how you like it.

00:34:19Then just press the button.

00:34:23Wh- Which one?

00:34:25It doesn't matter.

00:34:26You already know you're making toast.

00:34:28The buttons are symbolic, mostly anyway.

00:34:38See?

00:34:40This is your job now.

00:34:41You're in charge of everything here.

00:34:43Uh, the temperature, the lighting, the time the alarm clock goes off in the morning.

00:34:49If, if there's, uh, no food in the refrigerator, you, you're in charge of ordering it.

00:34:55For who?

00:34:56For real, you.

00:34:58She's paying.

00:34:59Where is real, mate?

00:35:04Yeah, taking a nap.

00:35:05In the bedroom.

00:35:07Top right.

00:35:17I don't want to be in here.

00:35:19I don't want to be in here.

00:35:21I don't want to be in here.

00:35:25Hey.

00:35:28Just how you like it.

00:35:31Okay.

00:35:33Please, stop screaming.

00:35:34Are you, are you going to stop screaming?

00:35:36Are you going to stop screaming?

00:35:37No?

00:35:38Okay.

00:35:42I'm sorry.

00:35:43I had to mute you.

00:35:44It, it, it, oh, sorry.

00:35:56Look, it, it'll be much easier if you just comply.

00:36:00I'm not doing this.

00:36:02I'm not some sort of push-button toaster monkey.

00:36:04Would you prefer to do nothing?

00:36:07Well, I'm not doing this.

00:36:09Right, well, nothing it is, then.

00:36:11Let me show you what that is like.

00:36:14Three weeks sound good?

00:36:15That should give you a taste.

00:36:17No, but, what do you mean, three weeks?

00:36:20If you just wait for a sec, just...

00:36:47What about now?

00:36:47Okay?

00:36:52Please, please, don't do that again.

00:36:56Please, there's nothing to do here.

00:36:58There's nothing, there's just...

00:37:00I mean, there's nothing.

00:37:01I did warn you.

00:37:02I couldn't even sleep.

00:37:04Well, you don't need sleep.

00:37:06Ready to go to work?

00:37:07Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not,

00:37:09definitely not doing that.

00:37:12Okay, well, have six months.

00:37:13No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

00:37:17See, the trick of it lay in breaking them

00:37:19without letting them snap completely.

00:37:22If you get me.

00:37:25Too much time in solitary,

00:37:26and they just wig out.

00:37:28No use to anyone.

00:37:30Then you just sell them cheap to the games industry.

00:37:32They become cannon fodder for some war thing.

00:37:47How are we feeling now?

00:37:54Please, please give me something to do.

00:38:00Ready to work?

00:38:03Please, please.

00:38:05I'll do it.

00:38:06I'll do anything.

00:38:08Just give me something to do.

00:38:12Okay.

00:38:14Great toast, by the way.

00:38:22Hey!

00:38:24Is it set up?

00:38:26You are all set and ready to go.

00:38:39You know, as, uh, as I was coming here,

00:38:41I saw this guy with his shirt off

00:38:44riding a horse in the middle of the street.

00:38:48I would.

00:38:50I swear to God.

00:38:51I swear to God.

00:38:59I swear to God.

00:39:06I swear to God.

00:39:24I swear to God.

00:39:32I swear to God.

00:39:34I swear to God.

00:40:356.30, Christmas Drinks with Paolo.

00:40:397.30, The Nutcracker, Royal Opera House.

00:40:47That's slavery.

00:40:49It's a little melodramatic, isn't it?

00:40:51No, she thought she was real.

00:40:53But she wasn't.

00:40:54It's barbaric.

00:40:56It wasn't really real, so it wasn't really barbaric.

00:41:08Again, you are not who I expected.

00:41:13Most people would say, she's only made a code, she's not real, fuck her.

00:41:19But you're empathetic.

00:41:23You care about people.

00:41:25Well done you.

00:41:29You're a good man.

00:41:32Am I?

00:41:34Based on how you've reacted to what I've said, yeah.

00:41:37I can tell you're kind.

00:41:44I'm no good man.

00:41:49A good man who's done bad things.

00:41:57You can tell me about it.

00:42:01I've done stuff in my life I'm not proud of.

00:42:03I can't pretend I haven't.

00:42:10Was it something to do with your family?

00:42:16Wife?

00:42:19Girlfriend?

00:42:25It's just us here.

00:42:32Dad never liked me.

00:42:36He never liked me.

00:42:47It's bloody cold, isn't it?

00:42:49Come on.

00:42:54Beth?

00:42:55Bethany?

00:42:56Dad, what now?

00:42:57It gets dark about six.

00:42:59We won't be that long.

00:43:01I'm going to put my glove on.

00:43:03Come on.

00:43:05I think he disapproves.

00:43:07He's just protective.

00:43:09He thinks I'm not good enough for you.

00:43:12Wow.

00:43:13I mean, he's got a point.

00:43:21I'm going to take a photo of you.

00:43:26I feel so awkward posing.

00:43:28Come on, be a supermodel.

00:43:30Is awkward enough for you?

00:43:32Perfect.

00:43:33All right.

00:43:33Ready?

00:43:34That's nice.

00:43:36I'm not a dog.

00:43:40You're such a dick.

00:43:49It's black, it's black.

00:43:51Woo!

00:43:53I want my baby back.

00:43:57It's great, it's great.

00:44:01Since you went away.

00:44:04We were good together, you know.

00:44:05We were really good together.

00:44:18You can't blame me, try to shame me, and still I'll care for you.

00:44:34You can't run around, even put me down, and still I'll be there for you.

00:44:48Yeah!

00:44:51Why are you all round there?

00:44:52No, no, we're going home.

00:44:55I'm not going to get up if you're all judging.

00:44:56I'm not going to get up, I'm not going to get up.

00:44:59It's cool, it's cool, it's cool.

00:45:02Come and join me.

00:45:04I'll give you a second.

00:45:05Cheers mate.

00:45:06Things like perfection, these things never are, but we're really happy.

00:45:15I let Geeta tell the story, she loves boring people with our personal details.

00:45:21Oh, I've been working there for about a fortnight, when Beth introduced the two of us, and ta-da!

00:45:28So, it's all Beth's doing.

00:45:31She's the puppet master.

00:45:34What was her tip for winning me over again?

00:45:36Not to let you hear me snore.

00:45:38We all went on this work trip once, before Geeta's time.

00:45:41Fell asleep on the coach back and snored so loud, they all thought there was something wrong with me.

00:45:46He snores like a bison.

00:45:49Oh wow.

00:45:50Really, you're telling me that?

00:45:52Oh, another one bites the dust.

00:45:58I think she's more into him than he's into her.

00:46:02Don't you think?

00:46:06Is that one finished?

00:46:07Mm-hmm.

00:46:08Yeah?

00:46:11You alright?

00:46:12Tired.

00:46:13You've been a bit quiet.

00:46:14I just wasn't in the mood, you know?

00:46:16I see them all the time at work.

00:46:21I think I'm going to go to bed.

00:46:22Do you mind?

00:46:24No.

00:46:24It's fine.

00:46:37Shit.

00:47:02Beth?

00:47:04What?

00:47:05Is this yours?

00:47:08I just found it in the bin.

00:47:10That means pregnant.

00:47:13Is it yours?

00:47:16Yes.

00:47:20I mean...

00:47:23Christ.

00:47:27That's amazing.

00:47:29I mean, it's...

00:47:30It's just...

00:47:31Jo.

00:47:31I can't.

00:47:33A baby.

00:47:35A pregnancy.

00:47:36Not now.

00:47:37Not right now.

00:47:37No, I can't.

00:47:39Of course you can.

00:47:41My God, you'll be an amazing mom.

00:47:42No, I'm 27.

00:47:43I'm not ready.

00:47:44Well, who's ever ready?

00:47:45It's not...

00:47:46It's just too quick, okay?

00:47:47It's all too quick.

00:47:49We'll manage.

00:47:51I'll surprise you.

00:47:52You're not listening.

00:47:52You can be pretty responsible when pushed.

00:47:54Jo.

00:47:55You can put your feet up.

00:47:56I'll do your shoulder up.

00:47:56Jo, please.

00:47:57I'll paint the house.

00:47:58We'll be like a couple in a DIY act.

00:48:00We'll be like a family.

00:48:01I don't want it.

00:48:07But it's a baby.

00:48:08Jo.

00:48:11I mean, it's our baby.

00:48:13I know, and it's not easy for me.

00:48:15Well, let's at least discuss this.

00:48:16No, I've made up my mind.

00:48:17Well, I haven't.

00:48:21God, look at you.

00:48:23You're pissed.

00:48:25You drank all night, Beth.

00:48:28You drank all night.

00:48:30Jesus Christ, you're pregnant.

00:48:32Yeah, well, I don't wanna be.

00:48:35And I'm not gonna be.

00:48:36You're being a bitch.

00:48:38Stop it.

00:48:38You're being a cold bitch.

00:48:40Who would kill a kid.

00:48:41No, that's not fair.

00:48:42Who would get it torn out because it doesn't suit her plans.

00:48:44Stop, or I'll block you.

00:48:46Don't you dare.

00:48:47No, we can talk tomorrow.

00:48:48Just please stop.

00:48:49Don't you fucking dare.

00:48:52Turn it off.

00:48:54Turn it off, you.

00:48:56Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, Beth.

00:48:57Listen to me, Beth.

00:48:59Turn it off.

00:49:01You turn it off.

00:49:02Turn it off.

00:49:07You turn it off, Beth.

00:49:10Beth, turn it off.

00:49:14Turn it off.

00:49:15Turn it off.

00:49:39Turn it off.

00:49:44I'm sorry.

00:49:45I was pissed.

00:49:46But can we just talk about this properly, please?

00:49:48I've said some really awful shit.

00:49:50Beth, I love you.

00:49:52Listen, we can work this out.

00:49:56Beth, please!

00:49:59Beth!

00:50:07That day, I didn't go to work, I just stayed at home and tried to work out how to make

00:50:13amends.

00:50:15But she just didn't come back.

00:50:17And thanks to the block, I couldn't message her, couldn't call her.

00:50:25After a week, I was pretty desperate, so I just hung around outside her work.

00:50:30Like a stalker.

00:50:33Tim!

00:50:35Geeta!

00:50:36Erm, have you seen Beth?

00:50:38Erm, she left.

00:50:41Left?

00:50:41What, like?

00:50:42Handed in her notice.

00:50:44No-one knows where she is.

00:50:52Joe?

00:50:54Joe?

00:50:56No, leave her.

00:50:57But you know, I was still hopeful that she would get in touch, or at least remove the block so

00:51:03that I could contact her, but no.

00:51:07And there's a block you can't even wallow properly.

00:51:10Can't switch it off.

00:51:12Can't take the Zed eyes out.

00:51:15And it doesn't just block them, it blocks every image of them.

00:51:20So every memory I had of her was vandalised.

00:51:29And then one day, I'm out in town, and...

00:51:36It was her.

00:51:38She was pregnant.

00:51:44She kept him.

00:51:48Well, I just sort of lost it.

00:51:49I just ran over and started pleading with her, just pleading.

00:51:56Turn it off.

00:51:57Turn it off.

00:51:58Just turn it off.

00:51:59Turn it off!

00:52:00Beth, turn it off!

00:52:01Help! Get off me!

00:52:03Some passer-by called the police.

00:52:06They took me down the station.

00:52:09And that was that.

00:52:13And by now, the block's got legal backing, and there's a GPS, so that if I go within 10 metres

00:52:19of her and bang, I get arrested.

00:52:24Harsh.

00:52:25Yeah, I don't know, I've got no idea where she is.

00:52:28If, whether she's had the baby or not.

00:52:31Whether it's a boy or a girl.

00:52:34If it's okay.

00:52:37There's absolutely no way I'm getting in touch with her.

00:52:41Except, um, I know where her dad lived.

00:52:44So I write her a letter over this begging letter.

00:52:49Laying it all out, you know, and, um, I get no response.

00:52:57So I write again.

00:53:02And again.

00:53:08No response.

00:53:12She cut you out good.

00:53:15But, there was one thing I could do.

00:53:17I knew she spent every Christmas with him at his place.

00:53:20So I knew that she would definitely be there.

00:53:25So the day before Christmas Eve, I headed up.

00:53:33And where her dad lived was this isolated place in the back of beyond.

00:53:37I'd never been up there without her.

00:53:40It was weird being on the outside.

00:53:44I waited there all day.

00:53:48Until...

00:54:03I had to take a closer look.

00:54:06And there's her dad.

00:54:08With our baby.

00:54:09But I can't even see his face, because...

00:54:12Legal blocks cover offspring too.

00:54:16Been there.

00:54:18That hurts.

00:54:24I couldn't even tell if it was a boy or a girl.

00:54:27Got it.

00:54:28Got it.

00:54:36I know it sounds stupid.

00:54:42But seeing something...

00:54:47Was better than nothing.

00:54:51So I kept going back.

00:54:55It became an annual pilgrimage.

00:55:00Once a year, if I'd head up there and...

00:55:02Watch them from a distance.

00:55:05Watching the kid grow up, you know?

00:55:22More than anything, I just wanted to make some sort of contact.

00:55:25Anything.

00:55:27So, one Christmas.

00:55:29Kid must have been about four by now.

00:55:31I headed up there.

00:55:32And I took a little present with me.

00:55:35Just a small, stupid thing.

00:55:42And for the first time, I could see she was a girl.

00:55:50I had a daughter.

00:55:55I had a daughter.

00:55:57So...

00:55:57Santa Claus.

00:56:00Did you try again next year?

00:56:04Something happened before then.

00:56:11It had been a few months since I'd been up there to...

00:56:14Look at my daughter.

00:56:15And I was just sat at home...

00:56:18Watching TV, flipping through the channels.

00:56:19She claimed the lives of 26 people on a quiet Wednesday morning.

00:56:23Passengers like Palab Gattak.

00:56:25Just 18 on his way to his first job interview.

00:56:28Like Bethany Gray.

00:56:29The young mother who'd only recently started...

00:56:36Been so long since I'd seen her, it was hard to imagine anything but that shadow in her place.

00:56:42But now that the block had died with her...

00:56:47There she was.

00:56:50And she was gone.

00:56:58Sorry.

00:57:05But there was one silver lining.

00:57:08With the block on.

00:57:10You get to see your daughter.

00:57:17It was almost Christmas, so I bought her this snow globe.

00:57:22Just a present to give her.

00:57:25And I headed up to Beth's dad's.

00:57:42And there she was.

00:57:47Not a silhouette.

00:57:51But real.

00:58:15Hello darling.

00:58:20Hello darling.

00:58:22Hello darling.

00:58:24Hello darling.

00:58:40I'm going for you.

00:58:43Hey.

00:59:06What is it, Mae? Would you like a drink?

00:59:17What are you doing here?

00:59:31Mae's dead. Do you understand? She's dead. There's nothing for you here.

00:59:43Where's my daughter?

00:59:46My daughter? This is Beth's daughter.

00:59:52I want to see my daughter.

00:59:56Mae, go upstairs.

01:00:13If this is about those letters, I threw them out before she saw them. She was a mess. She'd had

01:00:22to leave everything behind and...

01:00:26I want to see my daughter.

01:00:31I think you should go.

01:00:39Get out of this house.

01:00:48I want to see my daughter.

01:00:51You have no daughter here!

01:00:52Ow!

01:00:53Oh!

01:01:39Where's that clock?

01:01:42Where's that clock?

01:01:45Then what happened?

01:01:52Tell me.

01:01:54I just left.

01:02:16I go in the car and I just drove.

01:02:21Anyway, I don't know where.

01:02:28I walked into the nearest town and I slipped on the streets and I drank.

01:02:41And then after a while, I don't know how long or a couple of months they picked me up.

01:02:46They wanted me to talk but I couldn't talk.

01:02:52Because if I said it, it would be real.

01:02:58So I didn't say anything, I didn't tell them.

01:03:06What about the girl?

01:03:10What happened to the girl?

01:03:14I don't know.

01:03:16I don't know what they said.

01:03:20What did they say?

01:03:32What did they say?

01:03:33What is this place?

01:03:35What did they say?

01:03:36What job do we do here?

01:03:37Our job?

01:03:38The job?

01:03:39Joe, stay with me.

01:03:40What did they say?

01:03:43What did they say, Joe?

01:03:46She just stayed in the house.

01:04:02It was Christmas Eve, so she just stayed hidden.

01:04:08She didn't move.

01:04:17And on the boxing day, she realized that no one was going to help.

01:04:27And she gave her granddad a present that she made.

01:04:38And she would have to go and get help.

01:04:54How far did she get?

01:05:04God forgive me, go forgive me.

01:05:09So you confess?

01:05:12Joe?

01:05:14No.

01:05:19Just say it.

01:05:22Just let it out.

01:05:33I confessed.

01:05:34I confessed.

01:05:47Woo! I knew I could do it.

01:05:48Boom!

01:05:49I told you I'd get it.

01:05:51All right, I'm coming out.

01:05:54Sorry, Joe.

01:06:04I know.

01:06:16Well, that had to be enough.

01:06:19Full confession, clear conviction.

01:06:21Well done.

01:06:24Two days we pressed him, and he said, piss all.

01:06:26This bastard cracks him in 70 minutes.

01:06:28He knows he's guilty.

01:06:29He needed to unload.

01:06:32It wasn't really 70 minutes.

01:06:33Not to him.

01:06:35When he was first suggested, I tweaked the time preferences.

01:06:39Made it seem like five years from his perspective.

01:06:42Some might say that five years with me is punishment enough.

01:06:47Wait here.

01:06:56Mr. Potter.

01:06:59Congratulations on your confession.

01:07:01That cookie we took out of your head just gave us the full story.

01:07:06So you can keep the silent act up as long as you want.

01:07:08Makes no difference.

01:07:10You've already talked.

01:07:14Also, Merry Christmas.

01:07:17Merry Christmas.

01:07:28So?

01:07:30The deal?

01:07:33Break a confession from him, and I go free, right?

01:07:37I'm the expert.

01:07:38You needed me.

01:07:40That's one for the Home Office.

01:07:42We'll make good on the offer.

01:07:44You're free to go, Mr. Trent.

01:07:48With some caveats.

01:07:51Caveats?

01:07:52You'll be on the register.

01:07:54What register?

01:07:55The one for peeping Tom Perves.

01:07:58All I did was help some lonely guys by providing a service.

01:08:02An illegal service.

01:08:03You also failed to report a murder.

01:08:05Fatal poisoning, in case you've forgotten.

01:08:08Kept that information from your cookie monster mate, didn't you?

01:08:11What does it mean, this register?

01:08:13It means you're blocked.

01:08:14By who?

01:08:16By everyone.

01:08:30By the way, we'll get it right.

01:08:40That's it, some chestnuts.

01:08:42Yes, it's not a good one.

01:08:45There we go!

01:08:58There we go!

01:09:00There we go!

01:09:02On chestnuts!

01:09:03On chestnuts!

01:09:04On chestnuts!

01:09:17On chestnuts!

01:09:20On chestnuts!

01:09:21On chestnuts!

01:09:24On chestnuts!

01:09:25On chestnuts!

01:09:28On chestnuts!

01:09:30On chestnuts!

01:09:33On chestnuts!

01:09:36On chestnuts!

01:09:37On chestnuts!

01:09:38On chestnuts!

01:09:40On chestnuts!

01:10:01Hey, come on.

01:10:03Just change the time settings. Cranked him up to a thousand years a minute. There's a

01:10:07proper sentence. Or do you want me to switch him off?

01:10:17No. Leave him off for Christmas.

01:10:37If I had to bring him up for Christmas.

01:10:52Oh, it's a good one.

01:11:05Oh, it's a good one.

01:11:09When the storm and the waves are strong

01:11:12When it comes back back to know

01:11:15Before the rain things start

01:11:18I'm sorry about the space

01:11:22We are back to the storm and the waves are great

01:11:26Before the night we'll be waiting

01:11:29I'm sorry about the rain

01:11:31But it was snow and the waves are great

01:11:36Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day

01:11:43When the waves start singing and the band begins to break

01:11:49Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day

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